Work Text:
January 3rd, 2023
"Ryan? Where are we, mate?" Ryan groaned as he woke up. "It looks like someone kidnapped us to bring us to set. Let's make sure everything's in place. We don't need the director yelling at us again." Oliver got up to help Ryan walk over to one of the rigs. Oliver's eyes went wide like a deer in headlights. "I don't think this is our set. I mean, look at this stuff. It's fucking real!" Oliver put his hand in front of a very curious and eager Ryan. "Don't even think about touching that chainsaw. It's not rubber like our props. You could actually cut one of your limbs off with one of these bad boys." Bobby came down the stairs. "Great, you two are here. Buck, Eddie, get your uniforms on. The shift started half an hour ago."
Oliver leaned over to Ryan and whispered, "That's not in our script." Ryan smacked him upside the head and whispered back, "That's cause we don't have an episode that takes place today, Oli." Hen walked over to the two men and started laughing. "Y'know, I'd usually ask which one of you pissed the other one off. But it seems like you're both guilty. Oh, and remember. The wedding's in two weeks."
"What're you talking about, Aisha?" Hen looked at Ryan and Oliver like they both had grown two heads. "Aisha? My name's Hen. And I'm talking about," she motioned between the two of them, "your wedding. Don't you remember that Athena's officiating the wedding?" Oliver all but dragged Ryan into the locker room, making sure no one was in there and locked the door behind them. "What in the hell is going on, Ryan?"
"Don't ask me. I'm just as confused as you are." Realization dawned on Ryan's face. "I think we're somehow in a universe where the show is real, and apparently, Buck and Eddie are engaged."
"Okay, but you have to admit, we've all seen that coming. Even the fans picked up on it." Oliver stopped talking when something suddenly came to his mind. "That means we're dealing with Christopher. Not Gavin. And you're gonna have to be like Eddie, and I'm gonna have to switch to my American accent until we can somehow get ourselves back to our own reality." Ryan would never admit this to anyone, but ever since Chrysti helped him through his sexuality crisis, he's been noticing just how handsome and charming his co-star and best friend is. And to say he has a crush on Oliver would be the understatement of the century. He's head-over-heels for Oliver. He just doesn't know how to tell him.
"So, Ryan, I was thinking that we pretend to be engaged, and pretend to be our characters until we can somehow get back." Ryan almost fainted. It's not like he didn't like the idea of being able to kiss Oliver. He liked the idea a little too much, to be honest. "Yeah, I think that'll work." All of a sudden, a dark figure with glowing eyes appeared. The figure spoke in a gravelly voice, "My apologies. I didn't think that using my powers in this universe would cause so much damage. If you give me a minute, I'll have the electricity working, and then I'll appear right back here." The figure wasn't lying. In under a minute, the lights came back on and the SmartGlass was reactivated. "I believe I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Castiel, and I'm an angel of the Lord. I've come to investigate the situation you two seem to have yourselves stuck in."
"Sorry, but angel? Where's your wings and harp?"
"I don't have a harp. But I do have wings. They just exist on an ethereal plain of existence. And if I were to show you my true form, your eyes would burn out of their sockets. I've had that happen before, and I don't think I've done enough apologizing to the poor woman. And I would also be around the size of your Chrysler building." Ryan took a step back, and Oliver was laughing his ass off. "You're telling me that your name is Castiel and that you've come to 'investigate the situation'? C'mon, Ryan. There's no way you're believing-" Oliver shut up as soon as Castiel's eyes flashed blue.
"See, I'm real. And I don't have the time to deal with your arrogance or attitude. All I know is that until I can get you back to your reality, you need to 'become' your characters." Castiel emphasized his point with air-quotes. "He's really a baby in a trenchcoat, isn't he, Oliver? Just like Dean used to call him."
Cas brought out his wings. "Don't you ever use Dean's name in my presence. He is my husband, and you will refer to him as Mr. Winchester. Understood?" Oliver and Ryan slowly nodded. "We got no problem with that, do we, Oli?"
"No problem at all." Cas disappeared, and Ryan and Oli were stuck in the locker room, together. "Well, that went great. We just met an actual angel who's married to a human. And apparently we have to act like we're engaged for who knows how long," Ryan was muttering everything to himself, almost yanking his hair out of his head. Oliver rubbed a comforting hand on Ryan's back. "It's okay. I'm stressed out, too. But I'll help you out with everything, okay?" Ryan nodded.
"Oh, and we're probably gonna need to practice kissing each other so we can do it naturally." Ryan hesitantly nodded, and Oliver caressed his jaw. Ryan was tired of everything moving so slow, so he grabbed Oliver's jaw and kissed him gently. Oliver pulled back. "Did I do something to offend you, Ryan? Kiss me like you fucking mean it." And Ryan wasn't about to say "no" to Oliver. So he attacked Oliver's mouth with his own. It was a battle of teeth and tongues, Oliver eventually won once he lifted Ryan up and wrapped his legs around his own hips. They pulled back because they had forgotten oxygen was an actual necessity.
"Wow. I didn't think you could take charge like that, Oli."
"It's 'Buck' until we get back, okay?" Ryan nodded and kissed Oliver again. "Then, you'd better be calling me 'Eddie' or 'Eds'. Understand?" Oliver kissed him again to confirm his understanding. They heard pounding on the door from outside. "Buck! Eddie! Your kid is here!" The two men unlocked the door and walked out to see Hen holding Chris.
"Hey, buddy."
"Hey, Buck. Hen was telling me that you needed to tell me something. Well, that you and Dad need to tell me something. What is it?"
Oliver put on his best American accent and said, "Your dad and I are gonna tell you tomorrow, okay?" Chimney dragged Ryan and Oliver to the bunk room.
"Okay, you two are telling me exactly what's going on. Did you have a fight or something? I thought you were gonna tell Chris about your engagement today."
"It's nothing, Chim. We just need a bit more time to think of the best way to tell our son, okay?" Chim nodded hesitantly. "Fine, I'll leave you guys alone." Chim walked out of the door while throwing his hands up in surrender. Oliver rushed over to the door and locked it.
"Okay, so we really need that angel back here. Maybe he's found a way to get us home." Ryan shrugged and countered with, "Maybe he hasn't. Maybe he never will. Maybe we'll be stuck in this universe for the rest of our lives, pretending to be people we aren't."
"I mean, if I'm being honest, Ryan. Eddie is closer to my personality than Buck is."
Ryan nodded and admitted, "And I have a lot of things in common with Buck. Like always being the one left behind. Hell, even the mother of my children decided that the one for her is a woman. A woman, Oli. And don't get me wrong, I have nothing against her being into women, but I was the one who made her realize she's a fucking lesbian. I turned her off of guys, somehow. And now I'm having my long-awaited sexuality crisis because I'm in love with my best friend who's straighter than a fucking board!" Ryan took a deep breath after finishing his rant.
"You're in love with me, Ryan?" Oliver had gone to place a comforting hand on Ryan's shoulder while asking the question just to get his hand smacked away. "Yeah, I am. And I don't need you to fucking pity me just 'cause I am. I'm the one who's broken. I'm the fag who couldn't help himself from falling in love with his totally lovable, and not to mention, straight, best friend!" Oliver grabbed Ryan's hands that were trying to push him away. "I'm not going anywhere, Ryan. I'm right here. And when we get back, which I personally think is in the next hour, or so, we're gonna have a talk. Okay?" Ryan nodded, choking on the sobs that were making their way out.
"Hello, Ryan and Oliver. I have found a way to get you two back where you belong. You will still have your memories of this time, if you want to, that is. But you will go to your universe, only a few seconds after you were teleported here. That way, the flow of time won't be messed up. Do you understand?" Ryan and Oliver both looked up at Castiel and nodded. Cas snapped his fingers.
The next thing that Ryan and Oliver knew, they were in Oliver's trailer. "Well, that was somethin', wasn't it?" All Oliver could do was nod.
"Somethin' goin' on in that brain of yours?" Oliver took a breath before saying, "It's just gonna take me some time to get over the fact that we were only kissing in that other universe so that they didn't think anything was wrong. But that's fine, I don't care. I get that you didn't want to kiss me. I-" Ryan grabbed Oliver's face and kissed him. Oliver pushed at Ryan's shoulders.
"Why'd you do that, mate?"
"Oh, we're pretending that we can go back to being friends after you basically declared your undying love for me?" Olived shrugged.
"Oh, c'mon, Oli. We aren't teenagers. I love you, too. And before you go thinking that I love you like a friend, I'm in love with you." Oliver started laughing. "You can stop acting, now, Ryan. I know you hated that we had to kiss each other."
"Did you even stop to think for a second, Oli? We didn't kiss in front of anyone. And if you remember anything, you'd remember that I kissed you. And I also chose to kiss you. I felt like that was my only chance to get to kiss you. I love you so much, Oliver."
"I love you, too, Ryan. So much. But you have Chrysti. I shouldn't get in the way of that."
"Didn't you hear me in that other universe? She and I ended it mutually. But she became a fucking lesbian because I'm so awful."
"Or maybe she's just been repressed her whole life. Just like you, love." Eddie keened at the pet name.
"Can you please stop using British-isms on me? I can't have a serious conversation with you if you keep doing that." Oliver chuckled and kissed him. "So, boyfriends, darling?"
"Yeah, boyfriends." Oliver remembered something. "And please don't ever call yourself the F-slur again. I can't handle seeing you tearing yourself apart."
"Can't promise anything, but I'll try not to tear myself down as much. I love you, Oliver."
"I love you, too, Ryan."
Castiel was sitting up in Heaven, watching everything unfold in front of him and felt very pleased with himself. "Hey, baby. Whatcha doin'?"
"Just watching another set of soulmates find each other and fall in love." Dean chuckled. "Same ones you've been watching pine over each other for years?" Cas nodded and leaned into his husband and soulmate. "Yes. And they're finally together. My work is complete."