Chapter Text
Dirk worries at his lip piercing, flicking through the file you handed him. “This… what?”
You shrug and slide into the cheap metal folding chair across the table from him. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I said when Roxy showed it to me. Jake triple-checked the departments. There’s no R&D sub that matches the number, and dialing the extension gets a dial tone.”
“Did you ask the guys in tech support? Might just be a typo.”
“It’s not. They looked through their records and couldn’t find anything.”
Dirk frowns at the numbers. You’re tempted to ask what he thinks, but you wait. Dirk is much smarter than he looks – though if you’re honest, the piercings don’t do him any favors – and you know he’ll share his opinion when he’s ready.
Jake appears in the doorway, coffee in hand. “Any ideas?” he asks.
You raise an eyebrow and nod at Dirk, who’s probably running calculations in his head at this point.
Jake understands and takes the seat next to you. “Ah. Well, Roxy thinks it’s some illegal tomfoolery. Personally, I think it’s just a misprint, and you need to lighten up, James.”
“Millions of dollars, Jacob.” You wave at the file in Dirk’s hands. He still hasn’t moved, probably running calculations in his head. “Millions went into Research and Development, department 612. They can’t pay a misprint. They would’ve fixed this ages ago.”
“How long has this place been around?” Dirk asks suddenly. “If this was… I don’t know, their annual instead of salary, then that’d explain it.”
Jake nods at the file. “That’s monthly. Monthly pay.”
“God damn. I need to switch departments.”
“It’s not like you’re getting paid anyway,” you can’t resist pointing out.
“This is a two-year internship. BC has to hire me when it’s done. It’ll make ‘em look bad if they don’t.” Dirk tosses the open file on the table. “What’s Roxy saying, again?”
Jake shrugs and takes a sip of coffee. “Money laundering. Tax evasion. You know how she gets, with all her grandiose ideas getting away from her.”
“Huh. I’m gonna talk to her. She in?”
“She left,” you say. “She might still be down in the nursery. Rose never wants to leave. It takes her ages to convince her it’s time to go.”
Dirk smirks and stands up, grabbing his coat. “Yeah, I’ve met the kid. She’s probably running the joint. Dave can’t get out of there fast enough.”
“You think he’s being bullied?” You raise an eyebrow.
Dirk makes a noncommittal noise. “I’ll see y’all tomorrow. See if you can climb up the corporate ladder far enough to see what the hell’s going on.”
Jake raises his coffee cup. “Will do. Afternoon, Strider.”
You pick up your own coat. “I’m out for the day too. Are you going to call today or tomorrow?”
“I’ll see what I can do today. Have a good one, James.”
You head down to the nursery to pick up John.
CrockerCorp has company childcare, which was a big reason why you took the job. (It’s the only reason Dirk took the internship here, as far as you can tell.) The nursery is basic, with smiling women mediating toy disputes and feeding infants too small to play with the older kids. It’s loud and colorful and, while a bit small for the number of children running around, fairly ordinary.
John sees you as soon as you approach the check-in desk, and his face lights up. He abandons his toys and runs to the low gate keeping the tide of toddlers back. “Daaaa!”
You lean over the gate and scoop him up. “Hey, John! What have you been up to?”
He babbles something incomprehensible as you check out with the girl at the desk. She grins at you and waves goodbye to John. He waves back, still chattering in his own one-year-old toddler-speak.
Dirk is in the lobby, conversing quietly with Roxy. Tiny Rose is sulking in her mom’s arms, staring back at the nursery with her lower lip jutting in a grade-A pout. Dirk’s little brother is hanging on his hand, doing his best to hide his face in Dirk’s jeans.
John sees them and shrieks excitedly. “Ra!”
Rose’s sulk lightens noticeably and she waves. Dave peeks out from behind Dirk’s leg, frowning in the bright light. Roxy and Dirk notice you approaching and end their hushed conversation. “You’re leaving too, huh?” Roxy snaps her gum and you resist the urge to ask her to stop. (You know from experience that only makes her do it more, and louder, and right in your ear. Jesus Christ.)
“Jake’s staying for another hour or two.” You readjust your grip on John as he does his best to squirm out of your arms, demanding “Down, down, down!” “He said he’s going to make some calls to the other Research and Dev departments. See if they know what’s going on.”
“Hope he’s got something for us tomorrow.” Dirk leans down and picks Dave up, offering him the tiny sunglasses that the nursery doesn’t allow him to wear. “You ready to go home, little man?”
“Yeah,” Dave says in a small voice before burying his head in Dirk’s shoulder. You feel a slight pang of sympathy for Dirk. You know how much potential he probably had, if he’d been able to go to college. Now, stuck taking care of his infant brother, trapped in a nine-to-five unpaid internship that would lead to an only slightly paid nine-to-five dead-end career… You wonder if he resents this place.
But he shushes Dave and promises him ice cream as he carries him out of the lobby, and John waves goodbye in your arms and lisps something after them, and you dismiss the thought as ridiculous.
~
“Nothing.”
You pause, coffee cup halfway to your lips. “Nothing?”
“Not a single blasted department. Nobody’s heard of 612.” Jake rubs at his graying temples.
“Gapaa!” a tiny, irate voice says from under the table. A moment later, a thick mane of black hair pops up. “Bad words!”
“Sorry, Jade, you’re right. I won’t do it again.”
She huffs and crawls back under the table, where Jake had set her up with a coloring book and some crayons.
Roxy appears in the doorway, yawning and stirring her own coffee. “Morning, sluts. What did the other deps say?”
“Bad words!” Jade yells.
Roxy almost chokes on her latte. “Wh… Jake why is your granddaughter under the table?”
Jake shrugs. “There wasn’t anyone at the nursery yet when we got here.”
You frown at him. “What kind of ungodly hour did you show up at?”
“Only an hour or two early. I was going to take her down there when the staff showed up, but she’s so quiet I forget she’s there.” Jake peers under the table. “Jade, are you ready to go downstairs?”
“No,” she says calmly.
“Come on,” Jake cajoles. “John’s down there. You like playing with John, don’t you?”
There’s a beat of silence under the table before you hear Jade heave a long-suffering sigh. “Otay.”
“Oh, don’t give me that. You have fun there every day.”
“No I don’t,” she mumbles, crawling out with a lime green crayon in her fist.
Jake laughs and scoops her up. “I’ll be back in a moment. If Dirk decides to show up, give him a good what-for from me.”
After he and Jade leave, you frown at Roxy. “Dirk’s not here yet?”
She shrugs and leans down to pick up Jade’s abandoned coloring book. “Nah. It’s raining like crazy, though, he’s probably running late.”
Dirk’s never late. You wonder if Dave might be sick – he seemed unusually quiet yesterday. You’d just attributed it to the brightness of the lobby on his albino eyes. “I think I’ll call him and see.”
Roxy shrugs again and picks up the box of crayons. “Okay. I’m gonna color.”
“Roxy, you do have an actual job to do, you know.”
“It ain’t tax season, we have approximately jack-shit on the to-do list. Lighten up.” She sips her coffee and flips the coloring book open, grabs an orange crayon, and starts scribbling.
You flip out your cell phone and select Dirk Strider from your short list of contacts. It rings a good five times before you hear it click.
“James?”
“Dirk, where are you?”
“Yeah, I know, just hang on. I’m downstairs, I’m on my way.” He sounds anxious.
“Is everything—”
“It’s fine, James. Five minutes.” He hangs up.
You stare at your phone for a minute, bewildered, before shrugging it off.
Roxy flips the page and snorts a giggle. “Awww. James, come look at this. Jade drew an octopus.”
You glance down with mild interest. Sure enough, there’s a purple-and-black blob with too many tentacles on the paper. “Well, considering she’s two, that’s not bad.”
“I know, right?” Roxy peers at it. “Ya know, for all Jake keeps insisting she’s an utter genius, I hate to admit it, but he might be right. Girl’s a prodigy. You can practically have a conversation with her.”
“Don’t tell him that, you’ll never hear the end of it.” You finish your coffee and toss the cup in the trash. “How’s Rose?”
Roxy yawns again. “Ugh. She’s gone back to not sleeping through the night. I thought we were past this, but nope. I think the nursery’s letting her take naps again. They better knock that shit off.” She throws back the rest of her latte. “How’s your kid?”
“He’s… fine. He’s good.” You push down a rising confession and instead pull out a chair to finally sit down. “Anyway, Jake says none of the departments have heard of R&D 612. I drew up requisitions for more information, we should send them upstairs as soon as we can.”
Roxy shrugs and goes back to coloring. “We’ll have Dirk do it when he gets here. It’s what interns are for.”
“He said he was downstairs when I called.” You glance at the doorway. “I wonder what’s taking him so long.”
“Dave doesn’t like the nursery.” Roxy switches her orange crayon for a pink one. “’S probably giving him separation anxiety.”
You hum in agreement and reach for the coloring book. “Give me one of those.”
Roxy snickers and passes you a blue crayon.
Dirk finally shoves the door open and slams it behind him with some force. He pauses at the sight of you coloring with Roxy.
“…Working hard?”
“You know it!” Roxy says cheerfully, drawing a pair of pointy sunglasses on the sun. “Look, I drew you.”
“Jake says we got nothing,” you tell him without looking up from the ocean you’re filling in. “I wrote requisitions for more information. We’re pretending it’s tax related.” You point with your crayon at the stack of papers in your office outbox. “Take those upstairs, would you?”
Dirk sighs. “I didn’t even sit down,” he groans, but grabs the stack of papers anyway. “Have some more coffee when I get back. Please.”
Roxy waves with her crayon. “Shoo.”
~
When Dirk returns, Jake has joined your coloring circle. He’s brought back the lime green crayon Jade had in her tiny fist and is doing some delicate shading on a tree when Dirk re-enters with a manila envelope.
“Am I actually the only person here who does any work?” he grumbles, tossing the envelope on the table with a slap. “And I don’t even get paid. Y’all are useless.”
Jake hums. “Strider, I’ve done my time in the field. I deserve to get paid for nothing, you young palooka.”
“Palooka?” Dirk side-eyes you. You shrug and draw a blue rabbit in the corner of the page. John is on a rabbit kick recently, everything is “Bunny! Bunny!”
“So what’s in the box?” Roxy picks up the envelope and shakes it by her ear like a Christmas present.
“No idea. Head of Finance gave it to me after I handed him the requisition. Said to give it to whoever’s in charge of this department.” Dirk grabs the (full, thanks solely to you) coffee carafe like it’s made of diamond. “By the way, who exactly is in charge of this department?”
You, Roxy, and Jake all exchange confused glances. “I… I’m not actually sure.” You raise an eyebrow at Jake. “Harley, probably.”
Jake scoffs and twists his crayon in a nearby pencil sharpener. “Oh no you don’t. I’m not being responsible for this blasted train wreck. Egbert’s in charge.”
“I vote Jake’s in charge.” Roxy raises her hand.
You raise yours.
Dirk raises the coffee pot.
Jake sighs and snatches the envelope from Roxy. “Fine. Scapegoat me. When corporate flays me alive and puts my head on a pike on the roof, it’ll be on your heads.”
“Technically it’ll be yours,” Dirk mumbles into his coffee cup.
Jake doesn’t hear – or pretends not to – and slides a document out of the envelope. While he skims it, you and Roxy play tic-tac-toe on one of the pages. It’s a draw every time.
Dirk drains his coffee cup and pours a second.
“James,” Jake says, very quietly, even though it’s so silent in your office that everyone can hear him. “Look at this.”
You lean over and take the offered document.
-- INTERDEPARTMENTAL MEMORANDUM --
FINANCE DEPARTMENT 341
CROCKERCORP INDUSTRIES
T.W.I.M.C.
HEAD OF FINANCE
CROCKERCORP INDUSTRIES
CC: DU. AM.
We regret the mixup stated in your requisition. There is no such department under CrockerCorp, and the documents in question may have been misprinted. We apologize for the confusion and will rectify the documents in question immediately. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.
- D.A.
Jake raises his eyebrows when you look up. “They’re lying,” he says flatly.
Roxy snatches the memo out of your hands and scans it.
Dirk comes up behind her and reads over her shoulder, eyes flicking from line to line behind his shades. He starts chewing at his lip piercing again.
“They might not be,” you feel you have to argue, but you’re uncertain. Millions of dollars, Jacob, you hear your own words from yesterday. They can’t pay a misprint.
“We have to figure this out.” Dirk grabs the sheet from Roxy and flips it over to see if there’s anything on the other side. “For actual, legitimate tax reasons if nothing else. Can we show them the financial records and demand an explanation?”
Roxy makes a grab for the memo, but Dirk flicks it out of her reach. “I’m telling you, it’s tax evasion.” She leans back in her chair with an I-told-you-so expression. “If we start pushing for info, we’re gonna get marginalized. I don’t wanna end up in a trunk on my way to a Cuban pot farm just because our intern wanted to do our taxes all properly and shit.”
You trade a look with Jake and shrug. “It might still be a big misunderstanding,” you point out reasonably.
“That’s getting less likely.” Jake sighs and tosses his crayon back to the table. “I’ll go up there this evening and try to catch Ampora in his office before he leaves.”
You suppress a shudder. The head of Finances was unpleasant to be around in any circumstance. He had a way of looking at you like everything you said was an utter waste of time, even if you were delivering information he’d told you to get.
“Better you than me,” Roxy says, echoing your thoughts. “Hey, if he murders you, I’ll take care of Jade for you.”
“Good night, no. I’m not leaving my granddaughter with you. She goes to James.”
“I’m flattered.”
“Y… No, no, this is the bit where you say you’d gladly leave John to me in return.”
“Oh God, no. No, John would go to Dirk.”
Dirk smirks into his coffee cup before glancing up to see all three of you staring at him expectantly. “What? Ain’t none of y’all freaks getting my brother, what’s wrong with you people?”
~
The next day, Jake is uncharacteristically quiet. Jade is once again coloring by herself under the breakroom table.
Roxy shoots you a confused glance when she comes in, but you shrug; you can’t imagine he forgot to drop his granddaughter off in the nursery again.
After an hour of all four of you working in silence, an email pops up in your inbox. From Jake.
Ampora told me to stop asking questions.
- J. Harley
You can’t help glancing over at Jake’s desk, but he’s stoic as ever, peering at his screen with Jakelike intensity. You tap out a reply.
In a suspicious way?
- J. Egbert
He threatened Jade.
- J. Harley
A cold chill runs down your spine. He wouldn’t is your initial reaction. Then you take stock of what you know about Ampora, and he would.
Outright?
- J. Egbert
Might as well have. No mistaking him.
- J. Harley
You hear Jade chattering to herself as she plays in the other room. Who would threaten a two-year-old?
A new email pops up.
Either stop gossiping or let me in on the dirt.
- D. Strider
You cast a dirty look at Dirk’s desk, but he’s examining a folder very intently and won’t meet your gaze.
Ampora told Jake to stop asking questions. He threatened Jade.
- J. Egbert
WHY IS EVERYONE TALKING TO EACH OTHER BUT NOT ME
- R. Lalonde
You sigh audibly. No one in the room looks at you.
Can we talk about this like normal humans? With words and such?
- J. Egbert
we COULD do that but why the hell WLOULD we do that when we could instead be SENDING SECRET MESSAGES VIA THE EMAILWEBS
- R. Lalonde
“Roxy, I am going to put an administrator password on your everything if you can’t learn to type like a human being,” Jake finally says from his desk.
She smirks, her pink lipstick smudged from where her tongue pokes out the corner of her mouth. She does that when she types, for some reason.
The point is, there is more to this invisible department than meets the eye. I would like to keep investigating, but not if my granddaughter will be in danger. I don’t even want to leave her in the nursery anymore.
- J. Harley
No one is going to hurt Jade. We’ll help.
- D. Strider
~
“So Dirk and I hooked up over the weekend,” Roxy says, plowing right over Dirk’s choked noise of you-could-have-worded-that-better protest, “and put together this.” She slaps a paper CD case on the table with a plasticky thwack. “Since the tower’s network has top-of-the-line antivirus, we’ll have to introduce it from inside the network itself. Then we can sit back while it follows the money like a sniffer dog sniffin’ out heroin. I’m talking about the good shit, like all the rockstars were doing in the eighties. Gonna bust down their doors yelling ‘FREEZE MOTHERFUCKERS’ like a bad Tarantino movie. Steal the fuck out of all that sweet, sweet heroin.”
“Tarantino movies aside,” Dirk interrupts, “it’s just a mild virus to intercept emails. Once it finds something about department 612, it starts copying all correspondence between the sender and recipient.” He swipes the CD up and tosses it at you. “Egbert’s taking responsibility for it.”
You barely catch it and splutter at him. “I… wh… Dirk, why am I in charge of this?”
“Who the hell is gonna think it was you?” Dirk counters. “If they do find the virus, which they won’t by the way, nobody’s going to believe a mild-mannered businessman-slash-single-dad made it.”
You frown at him but toss the CD on your desk. You’ll do it later.
~
“Aaaaand we have a winner!” announces Roxy next week. “Anyone wanna hazard a guess as to who first mentioned Department 612?”
“Ampora?” Jake says.
“Corrrrrrect! Give the old fart a gold star.”
“I’m forty-six, Roxy.”
“You got gray hair, you’re old.”
“Graying, thank you very…”
“What did Ampora say?” you cut in.
Roxy taps out something on her keyboard as Dirk leans over her shoulder to look. “He’s talking with… holy shit, he’s talking to Crocker.”
“The Crocker?” You frown. “As in our company CEO? The face of the company, multibillionaire Helen Ingrid Crocker? The Betty Crocker?”
“One and the same.”
Dirk reaches over Roxy to type something else and begins reading out loud. “‘Department 612 may need funding cuts. Expense reports were mistakenly sent to Tower General Finance last week and they sent me a requisition for information. Rest assured, such a mistake will not be made again, but the program may need to lay low or at least go paperless until the mistake is rectified. Employees are asking questions.’” He raises an eyebrow. “Holy shit, that’s sketchy as fuck.”
“So 612 is an embezzlement department,” Jake says, half to himself. “Probably pretending to be a company branch in South America…”
“Did Crocker say anything back?” you ask.
“Mmm, not yet.” Roxy chews a pen thoughtfully. “Dirk, is the virus saving copies of this stuff?”
“Yeah. Should we take this to the IRS?”
“No!” Jake says too loudly. “No, we’re… not yet. Not just yet. We need more information.”
You know he’s thinking about Jade.
“We’ll keep track of this,” you promise, as much to yourself as to Jake.