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Diluc always knew where to find his little brother, no matter where the other hid.
Countless days of their childhood were spent like that, playing hide and seek at the winery. Despite the repetitive outcome, neither of them seemed to tire of the game, always ready to play another round. Kaeya could get frustrated sure, but it never lasted long.
‘It’s not fair how you always find me right away.’ he would pout, crossing his arms as he glared at the other.
‘It’s because you’re my brother.’ Diluc would then say, grinning triumphantly before ruffling his hair in an affectionate manner. ‘I know you well, so I know where to find you.’
‘That’s so not fair!’
Diluc’s grin only widened at those words, feeling rather proud of himself.
‘Face it, Kaeya! I’m always going to find you, whether you want to be found or not.’
Of course those feelings of frustration were long forgotten when Kaeya in turn found Diluc next. That mutual understanding of one another went both ways after all.
Still, out of both of them, Diluc prided himself in being the better seeker.
Diluc always knew where to find Kaeya, no matter where the other hid.
On more than one occasion, he witnessed Kaeya drinking himself into a stupor, a wide variety of hurtful comments leaving his mouth the more drunk he got. After he’d seemingly had his fill, he’d wander off somewhere, drowning in self-loathing and posing a threat to his own safety.
It truly was for the best that Diluc knew where to find him, lest he get seriously hurt.
One time, he’d found him on top of the Anemo Archon statue, swinging his legs back and forth as he stared down silently. Then another time, he’d found him wading in the lake, shouting curse words at the fish.
Today, he found him sitting at the back of the cathedral, awfully close to the cemetery. He was huddled up into a ball, trying to make himself look as small as possible.
‘Go away.’ he huffed as Diluc approached, the clarity of his speech revealing the cold winter air had sobered him up at least a little.
‘No.’ Diluc said in reply, moving to sit down next to him but still keeping his distance. When Kaeya didn’t move from his spot, he considered it somewhat of a win.
A win he’d desperately need, considering all the losses he was about to be confronted with.
Neither of them spoke up for a long time.
Kaeya was too busy feeling miserable, and Diluc didn’t know what to say to make it better. As the older one between the two of them he felt like he should say something at least, but his mind turned up completely blank.
‘It’s not fair how you always manage to find me.’ Kaeya was the first to finally break the silence, still not moving from his spot.
At those familiar words, Diluc sucked in a sharp breath.
In simpler times, they had a much more pleasant meaning. Now however, they only served to make the aching in his chest even more painful.
‘I guess I just know you well enough to know where to find you.’ is what he actually ended up saying.
‘Because I’m a bother and a nuisance to you.’ Kaeya replied, choosing his words carefully.
‘You are.’ Diluc whispered. ‘But so is about half of Mondstadt, so I wouldn’t take that too personally.’
At that, the other let out a genuine snort, seemingly amused for a moment before turning serious once more. While that particular comment had managed to get a good reaction out of him, it faded as quickly as it had come.
‘You don’t know me at all though.’ Kaeya breathed out. He refused to look Diluc in the eye, simply glaring ahead as if the pavement had somehow personally offended him. ‘You may be able to find me, but you don’t know me.’
Not anymore, he didn’t say.
He didn’t need to for Diluc to get the hint regardless.
‘Yeah well, I’m always going to find you, whether you want to be found or not.’ he argued.
Because you’re my brother, he didn’t say.
Maybe if he had, they wouldn’t have been here in the first place.
‘It’s not fair.’ Kaeya whispered.
‘It’s not.’ Diluc agreed. Then, as a peace offering, he added, ‘But that’s not good enough of a reason to ever make me stop looking for you.’
This time, Kaeya did look at him, the expression he gave him filled with exhaustion and hurt. He looked too tired to even argue with him, even though it was clear he had something to say.
‘I mean it.’ Diluc huffed. ‘I’m going to keep looking for you until I find you, every single time.’
It almost sounded like a threat this way, though he desperately hoped the message came across as he’d intended. They weren’t kids anymore. There was nothing left of that perfect wordless communication they used to have.
‘I’m kind of scared you won’t, one day.’ Kaeya spoke softly then, relief washing over Diluc as he realized the other understood. Of course that feeling of relief didn’t last long, not with how small he sounded. ‘I’m scared you’ll give up looking, and I’m still out there waiting in vain for you to find me.’
‘Well, I won’t.’
‘Oh.’
He would never stop looking, even if he’d made Kaeya believe otherwise.
‘Why are you never this kind when I’m sober?’ Kaeya chuckled solemnly.
‘Probably because of the same reason you don’t tell me how you’re really feeling when you’re sober.’ Diluc murmured.
‘Fair enough.’
And admittedly, because Diluc was too much of a coward to face him when he was sober.
‘Let’s get you home.’ he murmured to try and change the subject, rising to his feet so he could help the other up. Even though part of him didn’t want this moment to end yet, he knew either the cold or their own stubbornness would get to them sooner rather than later. He didn’t know how long Kaeya had been sitting here already, so he had to play it safe.
He had to end this moment before either of them said something stupid again.
‘Please come find me again next time.’ Kaeya whispered as Diluc helped him get up. ‘Even if I tell you not to.’
He hesitated for a moment then, before adding, ‘Especially when I tell you not to.’
Diluc didn’t need to think about his answer long.
‘I promise.’ he said. ‘I promise I will.’
He would always come looking for Kaeya.
And maybe if he kept searching, he’d one day find his little brother again too, rather than the stranger he’d turned the other into.
One day, Diluc and Kaeya would find each other, no matter how well they hid.