Archive of Our Own

Today was a clear, bright day in Liyue harbour. The birds chirped in the skies, the sky was blue, and the hustle and bustle of the city was sure to lift anyone’s spirits. It was a common, mundane day as any other.

Xingqiu slouched at his desk, head resting in his hand, idly gazing at the stack of papers he was meant to complete, hoping that by sheer will alone they would magically complete themselves. He picked up his pen, in a feeble attempt to scribble a few notes, before deciding it was too overwhelmingly boring to even attempt. 

Alas, it would have to wait. Chongyun had departed two weeks ago for a faraway exorcism in Sumeru, and Xingqiu had to admit that his presence was dearly missed. Not only was he jealous of the boy for visiting the land of scholars and books, but he missed his good friend. 

He stepped into the Liyue city streets, excited, because he knew he was to see Chongyun again. He looked around, scanning for that all-too familiar light blue hair, and, unsurprisingly, spotted it under the shade of a tree. Chongyun was sitting lazily underneath, his back towards the trunk while carving talismans. 

Merely seeing him again made Xingqiu’s heart flutter. It was only natural he had become a sort of icon for his character; Xingqiu always loved his fashion style and mannerisms. He looked elegant and sophisticated, while still emanating that adorable boyish aura. It was no wonder Liyue was so fond of him. Seeing him again was a great reminder for Xingqiu that he had never and would never change; his massive crush on Chongyun was a stable presence throughout his entire life.

The exorcist spotted Xingqiu, and his facial expression lifted. 

“Xingqiu!” Chongyun called, waving his hand and smiling. “I’m so happy to see you again! My travels went well, and I suppose the exorcism was successful enough. Are you doing well?”

“Chongyun !!”

Chongyun’s relaxed response was met with a running hug, the momentum nearly toppling over the boys.

After he let go, he saw Chongyun looking surprised, and somewhat disheveled. Chongyun avoided eye contact as he patted his hair back into place. Maybe it was just a trick of the light, but his perpetual blush seemed just a shade darker. 

Xingqiu felt a little guilty for scaring Chongyun with his overly energetic greeting, and looked away shamefully. “Ah, my apologies, dearest. I was just so excited to see you, I got a little carried away.”

Chongyun looked back at him with a smile, small yet so genuine that it made the butterflies in his stomach grow restless and rise for the day.

“It’s okay Xingqiu, I feel just as elated as you. Don’t worry.” 

Chongyun seemed to stiffen, and his words were spoken with a flat tone, and on closer inspection, Xingqiu understood why. His face was turning red, and Xingqiu realized that he was probably overheating due to his positive energy.

It was only natural, too, given the bright sun and harsh heat that day. Xingqiu had always admired Chongyun for his resilience in the face of his limiting condition; it had blocked him away from extreme emotions, spicy food, heat, and basically anything fun. More importantly, though, it had robbed him of his hopes and dreams of becoming a “true exorcist.” Xingqiu thought he already was one, but none of his pep-talks ever got through to him. 

“Chongyun, would you like to go to Wanmin today?” Xingqiu said, as he grabbed Chongyun's hand, interlaced their fingers and gently pulled him in the general direction of the harbour. Evidently, it was more of a statement than a question.

At the contact, Chongyun's flush got darker, and he looked away from Xingqiu. “O-oh, yeah. That sounds good.” 

Xingqiu looked over at him, and he seemed really close to passing out. It seemed like the summer heat was really affecting him today, judging by the fact that his face was as red as a tomato.

Chongyun broke away from the contact, and started running towards a nearby stream, splashing the cold water on his face. Xingqiu almost chased for the touch again as soon as it was gone, but understood his friends intentions. He had to get to the stream to stop overheating from the sun, of course.

Overheating for Chongyun often pushed him into a state where he dropped some self-imposed emotional walls and acted true to himself, which was a nice break from the emotionally repressed exorcist. Xingqiu wished that he would open up more even when he wasn’t affected by his condition - but alas he understood that he needed to act cold in order to keep his emotions in check. 

While he would love to continue to poke and tease Chongyun into another one of those frenzies, Xingqiu wanted to bring him to Wanmin for lunch conscious.

After a few splashes of cold water and a few minutes of steady breathing, Chongyun looked back to his regular self again, and joined Xingqiu back on the path to Wanmin.

Chongyun awkwardly spoke again.“Uh, sorry about that. As I was saying before… I’m excited to go visit Xiangling, as I haven't seen her in awhile.” At the mention of his friend, a small smile returned to his lips. “Sumeruan food is sure delicious, but they hardly serve anything cold. And nothing is as good as Xiangling’s cooking.” 

Xingqiu couldn't help but agree. He had eaten at Wanmin just yesterday, but he was still excited to go back and get his crystal shrimp again. 

They arrived at the shop, sitting down at a table in the back. Xingqiu is greeted by a familiar high pitched voice. It’s Xiangling, happily waving them over with a big smile.

“Xingqiu! Oh, is that Chongyun I see? Hey!! it’s good to see you back! Xingqiu was getting all mopey because you left.”

A snitch! Xingqiu shot Xiangling a threatening glare, but all she did in response was giggle before taking out her notepad.

Chongyun smiled, a little flustered. “Ah, really? I didn't know I had that effect…” 

How could you not?

Xiangling piped up again, always full of energy. “Okay, so what do you guys want to order? Or is it just the usual?”

Chongyun nodded, and smiled. It was nice to be so familiar with Xiangling that she knew “the usual.” 

She nodded, writing something down in her notes.

“Okay, have fun being together you guys!” Xiangling winked at them, before disappearing into the back kitchen.

How annoying Xiangling was sometimes. She was always teasing him over his crush on Chongyun, even though it was clearly not reciprocated. Xiangling used to give him advice about his love life, back when he was younger. 

When he was a more naive boy, he tried to signal to Chongyun his crush through various flirts and implications. Chongyun had always ignored his extremely obvious advances, probably because he was too kind to reject him - and since then Xingqiu had decided to give up.  Xiangling still gives him advice today … but usually unsolicited. Still, Xingqiu likes having someone other than Chongyun to air his grievances to.

Chongyun’s smile grew again, as he looked out the window and into the city streets.

 “I'm glad to see her and to be back in the harbour with familiar faces and a routine to fall into. Travelling is the way that my family of wandering exorcists work, and I love seeing Teyvat, but it feels good to fall back into my comfortable life in the harbour.” 

Xingqiu couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment, as he had found himself lamenting the nature of Chongyun’s work. It required him to go long and far, leaving Xingqiu holed up in his room with only papers to talk to. 

Of course, he had other friends, like Xiangling and Yunjin… but it wasn't quite the same. He prefers falling into that familiar rhythm with Chongyun, allowing summer days to pass him by with expeditions, trips out to the forest, and training.

Xingqiu responded with a sigh, “Well, I can do nothing but agree. Xiangling is right, the days do get a bit lonely without you, I must admit.”

Chongyun stirred a bit in his chair, eyes widening. “I- oh, I’m glad you think about me.”

“Chongyun, you wound me. Do you really not think that we are not close enough that I don't miss you when you leave? Do I value our friendship more than you?” Xingqiu says dramatically, with a mock hurt expression on his face.

Despite his stoic expression, Chongyun was quick to lose his words and start sputtering, a quality that Xingqiu found adorable. For that exact reason, whenever they hung out, Xingqiu was always thinking of the best ploys to get Chongyun as flustered as possible - his reactions were priceless. 

Quickly, Chongyun reacted. “No, no! I didn’t mean it that way, I promise! I just, uh,”

Xingqiu laughed to himself, he truly had a cute friend. "Yunyun, don’t worry, I merely jest.”

His bullying session is interrupted when Xiangling arrives with the food, and Xingqiu happily pays with an extremely generous tip. She winked, “that’s my Xingqiu!” and ran off to tend to the other customers.

Chongyun cautiously started on his noodles, a check that was completely Xingqiu’s fault, and then continued to slurp happily after confirming they were safe. It was only an illusion of safety, though. Despite the brief interruption earlier, he was absolutely going to continue with the teasing. Xingqiu was planning to push him into a yang state again, but he wasn't going to use cheap tricks like hidden Jueyun chilis. All he needed was a little bit of truth.

“Dearest Yunyun, has anyone ever tried to date you?”

Chongyun tilted his head a little with confusion, like a puppy. “No… Where does this question come from?”

Xingqiu sighed, smiling. “It’s just that you’re just so pretty that I can’t believe that the whole of Liyue isn't swooning over you.”

Always flirting, Xingqiu was. What started off as a way to test the waters ended up slowly turning into meaningless tease sessions and a way to rile Chongyun up. He couldn’t have it any other way through, because now he could watch Chongyun blush like a schoolgirl with a crush without having to truly confront his feelings.

The tease works perfectly, as Xingqiu watches Chongyun’s face brighten at the words. “O-oh. Thank you.”

Xingqiu doesn’t let him off the hook just yet. “Is that something that you want, though? Do you ever think about love, Yun? What kind of relationship do you want?”

Chongyun’s eyes go wide as he seems to picture something in his head, and then covers his face with his hand. By now, his face was as red as it was earlier that day, except this time, Xingqiu would not allow him the grace of a cool stream of water.

“I-uh. I don't know if I can talk about it.” Chongyun said, as he tried to avoid the subject.

“Hey, cmon, we are best friends. You can tell me anything.” Xingqiu leaned in and nudged him a little more, trying to get a response.

“uh!” Chongyun responded, jumping a little, simply looking away and covering his face with his hands. He gestured for water, but was met with a mocking shrug.

It’s a shame that Chongyun was being so secretive, because even through the teasing, Xingqiu was absolutely dying to know what made him blush so hard. 

Suddenly Xingqiu was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt Chongyun’s hands on his own, reaching over the table, a big smile coming from the other boy. That was fast , Xingqiu thought. He was expecting to need to pull more tricks, but today it seemed like Chongyun was especially sensitive. Maybe it was because he had run out of popsicles during his travels.

Xingqiu, intent on getting a response, decided to take advantage of his currently more honest state and to try to get some answers.

“Yun, what kind of relationship do you want?”

Chongyun gave an answer immediately. “I want to live a quiet life travelling around Teyvat with my partner.”

Xingqiu almost blushed at that, as he recalled back to his fantasy of accompanying Chongyun on one of his long expeditions. Now was not the time for that though, as his pride would be hurt if he lost at his own game.

Chongyun smiled wide, inched closer and forced them to make eye contact. “Xingqiu, I missed you alot.”

Xingqiu giggled. Today, it seemed like Chongyun had become awfully affectionate.

“I missed you too!” Xingqiu responds happily - It was quite rare for Chongyun to be like this during his yang states.

“Hey, do you have any suitors?”

The question comes out of the blue, but Xingqiu decided to answer honestly, even though it’s a touchy subject that he avoided talking about. “Well, yes. My reputation precedes me, you know. Lots of people want a share of my wealth.”

Chongyun responded with the biggest sad puppy dog eyes. “Oh. Can you promise me something? Don’t get a girlfriend, because then you’ll stop paying as much attention to me.”

Xingqiu laughed at that, ignoring the weird fluttering feeling in his stomach. The statement is so ludicrous. He could never replace Chongyun with some girl. 

“Yunyun, it’s preposterous that you even say such a thing...” Yet, when he opened his eyes after his laugh, he just saw Chongyun staring dead at his face. 

Chongyun grabbed his hands off the table and held them in his hands. Now he was suddenly very aware of how Chongyun’s calloused, slightly stubby hands felt so warm on Xingqiu’s thinner, colder ones, and he wanted to hold on forever.

“Seriously, Xingqiu, I’m worried. You’re so smart, and pretty, surely someone would’ve taken you by now.” 

Everything in Xingqiu’s brain shuts down. Chongyun's words are laced with such genuine worry that it made Xingqiu’s heart flip. His choice of words… the compliment… Why was yang-inebriated Chongyun intent on using his own tactics against him? 

Xingqiu responded after a pause, as a pink blush spread on his cheeks that he did not manage to keep down. “Oh. Thank you, Yunyun.”

Suddenly Chongyun wobbled over to his side of the table, plopping himself down on the chair next to him, forcing Xingqiu to look up and into his face.

“Yun, what caused this change in seating pla-”

Chongyun grabbed his hands again, locking eye contact. He started coming closer and closer and all of a sudden Xingqiu felt warm hands wrapping around his waist. It caught him by surprise, as Chongyun absolutely never initiated physical contact.

“H-hey, what are you doing?” 

Chongyun leaned in, letting his head rest on Xingqiu's shoulder, moving his arms to Xingqiu’s back. He was so warm, from his face to his hands to his body - and the feeling of his soft hairs tickling the side of Xingqiu’s neck was enough to send his brain into overdrive.

Xingqiu felt himself panic in Chongyun’s arms, cheeks growing pink because they were far too close. Yet he couldn’t find himself wanting the hug to ever end, it felt so comforting to just be able to envelop himself in Chongyun, smelling mint and qingxin, and the feeling of warm breaths on his back.

The interaction is over far too fast, Xingqiu wants to pull him back in, but decides not to for his dignity.

“You’re pretty, Xingqiu.”

Chongyun states suddenly.

The tone of his voice; it was so matter of factly. As if that was someone known by everyone in the world, approved by scientists. All the blood rushed to Xingqiu’s face, and surely by now he would be more red than Chongyun.

But most of all, the interaction had started to give him some hope. He didn't know much about how much Yang inebriated shared with the real Chongyun in terms of opinions, but he was hoping that there was some reflection of true thoughts. 

Still… he couldn’t just trust kind words given to him by an unrealistically affectionate Chongyun. Possibly he was just stretching signals just to try to make him feel better in his lovelorn delusions. Plus, he said it like an objective fact. Chongyun was pretty, if anyone asked him, he would respond yes, like the way he could say the same thing about Yunjin. He didn't feel nothing for Yunjin though. 

But a small voice in the back of his mind, the more optimistic one, hoped that it was a sign of something more.

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt his friend suddenly falling towards him. Chongyun was completely out cold on his shoulder.

Xingqiu breathed a sigh of relief, because he wasn’t sure how much more of that he could take.

Holderstering Chongyun up in his arms, he carried him over to a nearby hill, ignoring the looks he got on the street. He reached the tree they spent hours and days underneath, propping the exorcist on the trunk. He sighed, taking out the book that he hid in his sleeves, and snuggled up for a peaceful time reading.

It wasn't very peaceful at all.

Xingqiu rubbed his face, trying to get the earlier interaction out of his head. He could barely focus on the words, because all that his brain wanted to do was repeat the words Chongyun had said to him at Wanmin. He tried to clear his mind, and looked back to his book. 

You’re so smart, and pretty.

You’re pretty, Xingqiu.

He felt blood rush to his cheeks as he remembered the words, his friend’s worried gaze,  the feeling of Chongyun’s arms around himself, the warmth.

He shut the thoughts down immediately, shaking his head and blinking harshly a few times. He couldn’t have gotten so far and practised so much self-restraint and only to have it ruined by a rogue yang interaction.

Still… picturing the feeling of touch around himself… he couldn’t help but want more. He wanted more of that feeling of being safe in his best friend’s arms. To do it consistently, like everyday, and that would be accomplished if-

He redirected his attention back to his book, trying to absorb the information from the pages. 

After accidentally reading the same paragraph 5 times, Xingqiu decided to give up and let the book fall and lay in the grass next to him. He was far too distracted.

Xingqiu glanced over at Chongyun, lying unconscious at the tree. He looked so… peaceful. It was a stark contrast to the hellscape that was Xingqius' mind. Xingqiu was almost jealous, as he was so blissfully unaware of the damage and mental torment that he had unintentionally managed to inflict. He listened to the soft puffs of breath that Chongyun took, lulled into a rhythm that just felt so natural. 

Even like this, he was still so unfairly cute. He just wanted to grab those stupid peachy cheeks and pinch them, but he decided to refrain himself, not while Chongyun was sleeping so peacefully.

Xingqiu’s plan that day at Wanmin had truly backfired on him. He was just expecting Chongyun to prance around, paying for other people’s meals and trying to exorcise demons out of Guoba. He wasn’t expecting, well… that.

He heard Chongyun stir in the silence. He rubbed his eyes, stretched, letting out probably the most adorable sound in the universe.

“Huh, Xingqiu?” Chongyun looked around at his surroundings. “Did I lose control again? What did I do?”

Xingqiu wasn’t ready to unpack whatever occurred at Wanmin earlier that day, so he decided to lie through his teeth. 

“No, nothing really happened, Yun. Frankly, it was quite disappointing, you just fainted without a show. A shame, I would've loved to hear you sing again.” 

Chongyun buried his face into his hands. “Xingqiu… I thought I told you to stop bringing that up.”

Xingqiu laughed. He could never. It was one of his favourite moments to embarrass Chongyun with.

Xingqiu took another look at his book lying on the ground. He was absolutely dying to know the ending, but hadn’t been afforded the peace of mind to continue reading. He decided that if Chongyun was all that he could think of, he would just make him read the book - combining one thing with another. A flawless strategy.

“Say, Chongyun, would you be so kind as to read out my book for me?” 

Chongyun happily obliged, having done so many times in the past. “Sure. What are we reading this time?”

Xingqiu shrunk into himself a little, embarrassed. “Uh, another romance.”

Chongyun sighed. “Xingqiu, don’t you think you have too many frivolous books in your collection ?” 

Xingqiu responded sheepishly. “Hey, I asked you to read, not judge my tastes! Or would you prefer to read my other book, a guide to getting ahead in Yujing terrace?”

Chongyun rolled his eyes and looked down at the book, reading the title and description. Young and hopelessly smitten, which was both the title of a stupid, poorly written yet cute romance novel and a good description of Xingqiu.  

Chongyun opened the book to the bookmark, and started reading. 

“Then Yang replied, no, you can’t leave alone. I can’t let you, what if something happens? But Jia was quick to argue. It’s so dangerous. and it’s not even your responsibility, you know. These are the problems of my clan alone, you needn’t get involved.”

Quiet moments like these reminded him of how pretty Chongyun’s voice was. It was silky, so soft, but with that slight raspiness on the edge. His voice was so cute, Xingqiu could probably listen to it forever. 

“Jia Xian was not one to hold arguments, often quickly folding after an ounce of resistance. However, the argument dragged on long, Jia holding headstrong to his beliefs.”

The sound was so familiar and relaxing, so nice and light. Now, Xingqiu was very aware of how late he had stayed up writing last night, as he felt his eyes droop. Sleepily, Xingqiu fell onto Chongyun’s lap, snuggling himself into the soft fabric his puffy pants and closing his eyes.

“Lu - ... oh… uh… he… he decided not to argue, realizing that if Jia cared about the situation that much,”

He realised that he had managed to fail his mission again, because he had no idea what was going on in the story at his point. Lulled by the smooth voice of his dearest and the sound of parchment rustles, the moment that he lived in ended up being more interesting than the story. Xingqiu tried his best to stay awake to enjoy the moment, but eventually succumbed to the warm embrace of sleep.

Xingqiu woke up the next morning with the sun on his face. He got up and stretched, before opening his eyes and analysing his scene.

A small room and white walls. Where… was he? Had he been kidnapped, and held for ransom??? Surely he would be an easy target, given the swaths of money that the Feiyun commerce guild held.

But he took a good look around, before smelling a scent of Qingxin and Mint. The smell of Chongyun. 

Oh, he was in Chongyun's apartment, in his bed.

Oh, he was in Chongyun’s apartment, in his bed.

Xingqiu felt butterflies in his stomach at the realisation. His own room was big and had a lot of privacy, so he rarely visited Chongyun’s apartment. Plus, where had Chongyun slept the night before? Something about being in there was … weirdly intimate.

He tried to remember what had happened to the night before. Chongyun's smooth voice... drifting off to sleep…  and a vague memory of being carried? He remembered feeling Chongyun’s arms around him, but it seemed like he had only woken up briefly before falling asleep again.

Rex Lapis, How tired was he really? He really had to be more responsible with his sleeping habits… he had stayed up all night writing his new novel.

He rolled out of bed, clumsily searching for the bathroom. Inside, he saw a water infuser with some fresh Qingxin flowers inside of it, maybe the source of the smell. Xingqiu really did not want to reveal himself to Chongyun looking so dishevelled. His jacket was completely wrinkled, so he decided to ditch it all together to reveal his frilly white shirt underneath, which looked more professional in comparison. He combed through the leftover traitorous strands of hair that stuck up irregularly, and splashed some water on his face. He sure didn't look great, but there wasn't much he could do without his own bathroom.

He exited the apartment from the backdoor to Chongyun outside, practising at his training dummy. Ever diligent, that boy. Xingqiu watched him as he so gracefully wielded the claymore, with precision and skill that was always admired. He was so dedicated to his work, which was awfully endearing. 

Xingqiu sat down nearby, watching him train. Chongyun’s hoodie was left abandoned on the floor, which revealed the tight black undershirt that he wore. 

The exorcist wiped the sweat from his forehead, huffing a few times before noticing Xingqiu sitting on the porch. “Oh, Xingqiu, You’re awake. I brought you to my house, because nobody came to the door when I visited last night.”

Chongyun was so caring, reading to him, and then carrying him not only to Xingqiu’s house but also to his own? Xingqiu wanted to barrade him with compliments, but he wondered if that would make him pass out, as he was already hot from training.

“Thank you Chongyun, that’s very sweet of you.”

A very neutral response for a not-so neutral act of kindness.

Chongyun smiled. “You're welcome Xingqiu.” 

Chongyun started walking back towards the door, leaving his claymore abandoned on the porch. “Well, now that you’re awake, I’m going to prepare breakfast for you.”

Waking up in Chongyun’s bed, and now was going to make him breakfast? Like a married couple?

Xingqiu brushed away the thought. Chongyun had been so courteous as to bring him back to his own home, and let him sleep in his bed, and all Xingqiu was doing was taking advantage of that and projecting him into his weird romantic fantasies.

He followed Chongyun back into the house, and into his kitchen. It was small, with just a stove, a few cupboards. The dining area only had one chair, and Chongyun had to go find a box for himself to sit on. Xingqiu tried arguing for sitting on the box instead, but he gave up after realising that he was fighting a losing battle.

He watched from the table as Chongyun quietly cooked some scrambled eggs. Xingqiu loved being in Chongyun’s apartment - it was the antithesis of comfort. Everything in his house subtlety reminded Xingqiu of him. The stable smell of flowers and mint, and small thaumaturge trinkets around the house, and even several gifts from Xingqiu over the years. It was all so familiar, and helped to make this place he’s only been in a few times feel like home.

Xingqiu had asked him in the past if he got lonely there, during the off time that he had just seen the apartment after Chongyun had forgotten to take his popsicles. 

All he replied with was “I see you all the time, how could I get lonely?”

Xingqiu covered his face at the thought and tried to focus on the steam rising from the stove from the gap in his fingers.

Soon the meal is done, and Chongyun served it and sat down next to him on the box. Frankly, the eggs are unseasoned and pretty bland - but because Chongyun cooked it just for him, he decided that it tastes perfect.

“Say, Chongyun, would you be so kind as to tell me what your travels were in Sumeru?” Xingqiu said, breaking the silence and trying to strike a conversation. He had always wanted to visit Sumeru, so possibly he could vicariously live through Chongyun’s stories.

Chongyun piped up a little, looking excited to talk about his adventures. “Oh, you wouldn’t believe it! Sumeru is beautiful, the food is delicious, and I met lots of great people there.”

“Care to tell me what they were like? Did you make any new friends?” 

“Well, I visited this small village near the edge of Sumeru’s border, next to the chasm, and got quite familiar with the people there. Like Tighnari and his apprentice Collei. Tighnari’s a forest ranger there, and a researcher. He’s a genius, and he even received offers to work for the Akademiya multiple times, but declined them each time.” Chongyun said, excited.

“Wow… To decline offers from the elusive Akademiya…” Xingqiu was amazed, and hoped to meet someone as incredible as him one day - Chongyun sure was lucky.

Chongyun continued, his gaze softening as he looked up in reminiscence. “I got along very well with his apprentice, Collei. She has a condition too, like me, and it really obstructed her in her life goals too. I felt like we really saw eye to eye on that. I learned alot from her about herbs and plants, and some of their medicinal purposes. She’s very kind and pretty too. I really do hope I get to meet her again.”

Xingqiu's stomach churned as he started coming to a worrying conclusion at the praise and dreamy lilt to Chongyun’s voice. Anxiously, Xingqiu braves the question.

 “So, do you… you know, like-like her?”

Chongyun smiles wholeheartedly. “Oh, of course, Xingqiu. How could I not? ”

Xingqiu felt his heart shatter. His delusional leftover hopes at Chongyun reciprocating his feelings from the encounter at Wanmin immediately vanished. This conversation… it was a straight up confirmation that his dream of requited love from his best friend was just that - a fantasy.

Strangled, he tries to reply. “O-oh. That’s great, I’m glad you met someone.”

“Yeah! I think that if I use the advice given to me by Tighnari and Collei, I’ll be much safer in battle. It would be great, considering that i r-eallyneed to contiuelearnifng.” Chongyun continues speaking, but his words start to blur together in Xingqiu’s mind, the violent beating of his heart and sinking feeling in his chest far too loud to focus on anything else.

Xingqiu really tries to keep strong in the face of Chongyun, considering all he had done for him, but when he felt tears well up in his eyes, he knew couldn’t continue. He especially didn’t want to embarrass himself like that right now. 

“Oh! look at the time. I must go, or my father will start looking for me. Thank you for everything!” Xingqiu says, ignoring the confused look on Chongyun's face and sprinting out the door.

It had been three days since he last saw Chongyun when he heard a knock at the door again. He heard maids calling his name, and at that, Xingqiu knew that he needed to stop moping around. It did hurt like hell to find out that Chongyun was in love with someone else, but… it was nothing he wasn't used to. He already knew that Chongyun didn’t reciprocate his feelings; what did this confirmation change? He had managed to keep his crush on the down-low for years, what was a few more?

He quickly patted a few loose strands of his hair into place, grabbed his jacket and put it on. It was pretty uncommon for Chongyun to go out and initiate a meetup, but he supposed it was reasonable given he had been trying to avoid him for the past few days. 

He was anxious to see the boy again, worried that just the sight would remind him of that fateful conversation. Alas, as he opened the door, and saw that blue hair again, all he felt was that familiar rush of comfort and happiness. 

“Hey Xingqiu. You forgot your jacket at my place.” Chongyun says, standing calmly at his door.

Xingqiu blushed at the realisation. He had a few copies of the same jacket in his closet just in case of any incidents, so he never noticed that he left one behind.

 “Oh, yes, thank you.” Xingqiu awkwardly laughed to himself as he took the jacket. 

A weird silence falls upon them, neither daring to meet gazes.

“Xingqiu, did I do something? Is there any reason why you left so abruptly the other day?” Chongyun blurts out.

Xingqiu puts on a polite smile, decidedly not wanting to confront that ugly, jealous side of himself. The side of himself was hopelessly in love with his best friend… that side he hated. 

“No, I was just busy with my work. No need to worry.”

It wasn’t technically a lie. He had written his name and date on top of one of the inventory budgeting sheets.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, dearest.”

Chongyun breathes a sigh of relief, and continues with a relaxed smile on his face. “I see. In that case, I have received a minor commission to exterminate some evil spirits. Would you like to accompany me?”

Xingqiu smiles again, this time more genuine. He wasn’t sure how he had managed to convince himself the last few days that he would not want to spend more time with Chongyun, because now all he felt was excitement. 

“Sure!”

Xingqiu follows Chongyun outside the door, stepping into the bright light of the day. Once again, Xingqiu was reminded of how easily they could just slip right back into that friendly routine. 

“The exorcism will be quick, my client’s residence is just north of the harbour, and it will be a short walk there.”

Chongyun led the way, while telling Xingqiu about the newest developments that he had made in his thaumaturge training. Xingqiu had always loved listening to him talk about his passions - he became so animated, and his eyes lit up. It was a stark contrast to the usual way that Chongyun held himself; stoic and cold. 

Soon they arrived at the site of the commission, two houses near the statue of the seven. An old man named Uncle Liu was apparently the client, as his house had recently been the site of a haunting. 

They talked to him, and he described the rickety noises that would accompany him at night while he tried to sleep, and a steady ghostly presence that would haunt through the day. 

He led Chongyun into the house, where Chongyun started to do some preformative exorcist gestures, and took out some talismans. It was all for show, of course, because Chongyun would end up just exorcising it using his pure yang spirit anyway. Satisfied, the old man nodded and left the room to tend to his yard.

While Chongyun sat in the house, Xingqiu began to wander, deciding to speak to Uncle Liu to pass the time.

“Da ye, what are you doing?” 

Uncle Liu responded wistfully, looking up at the sky. “Ah, just reminiscing on the past. When you get to my age, that’s all you can really do.”

He looked fondly at Xingqiu. “Kid, you remind me of how I was when I was younger. You’re a lot like how we were back then, my neighbour Shuzhi and I. Ah, I just remember how I would crouch by my window and peek out at her, and sometimes she would notice me too. I’ll never forget her smile, the dimples on her cheeks, the look in her eyes…that smile was for me and me alone.”

Now, Xingqiu was invested in the old man’s story. “And? Where did it go from there?”

Uncle Liu scoffed. “Where did it go? What do you mean where did it go? You don't seriously think… a man should just straight up tell a girl how he feels??”

He rolled his eyes. “Tut tut. Children these days…”

He turned around and didn't seem to want to talk any longer. Xingqiu wanted to laugh at the stupidity of his beliefs. Some people really just had to get off their high horse and confess to their crushes already.

Lazily, Xingqiu continued to wander, realising that there was another house across from Uncle Liu’s. An old lady with hair pulled into a white bun stood at a small stand with various fabrics and textiles. 

“Would you tell me about your shop?” Xingqiu says politely, reaching out to see her wares. They seemed pretty high quality, judging by the feel of the fabric. 

She looked at Xingqiu with a smile, much like Uncle Liu.

“Oh, a youngster. This area attracts little customers, but they will always come eventually. Really, I retired a long time ago. The only reason why I stay here is because I’m still waiting for a certain someone. Customers come and go, but some keep you waiting for a lifetime.”

She laughed to herself. “I think I will die before that old geezer comes to his senses.”

Xingqiu looked back at Uncle Liu, who seemed to be drying some cucumbers on his porch. 

“You mean, him?”

She smiled to herself. “Of course it’s him.”

Ah, so the old Lady was Shuzhi from Uncle Liu’s story.

“Are you with that boy who came to exorcise the old geezer’s house? Don’t think I don't see the way that you look at him. Watch yourself, or soon you’ll be just like that fool.”

She laughed wholeheartedly, and Xingqiu chuckled nervously, his face heating in embarrassment. 

“Ah, youngsters. Always so foolish. I will lay off, and allow you to come to yourself naturally. Hopefully you do, unlike Liu. Do you want to buy anything?”

Xingqiu decided to ignore the pointed comment and looked through her collection. Ornate silks, blankets, and beautiful relics of Liyuean culture. He rustled around a little before picking out a parasol. It was a pale bluish-colour, much like the colours of his friend, and had a beautiful dragon pattern emblazoned on it. 

He thought back to a few days ago, when Chongyun had flushed so bright in the summer heat. Surely a parasol would be a great solution; to create shade wherever he walked. 

Shuzhi chuckled. “Aha, of course you would choose that one. It would look great with your sweetheart. 15,000 mora, please.”

15,000? Xingqiu thought. The price seemed somewhat steep, but the quality of the silk made up for it - and he wanted only the best for Yun, after all. Hesitantly, he opened his coin pouch and paid for it in full. He received his parasol with a wise nod and a farewell.

As Xingqiu returned to Uncle Liu’s house to reconvene with Chongyun, he found himself thinking about the old couple. To spend so long pining that you grow gray hairs and wrinkles… it seemed ludicrous to say the least. He dearly hoped that Uncle Liu would confess one day, which Shuzhi surely deserved.

XIngqiu peeked his head through the door, to see Chongyun packing up his belongings and exorcism tools, and leaving the house.

“Oh, good timing Xingqiu. I’m just about finished here.”

Uncle Liu was quick to catch up to him, ready to give payment for Chongyun. Uncle Liu was thanking him profusely, talking about how he had lost sleep over the demons and how much the hauntings truly ruined his life. Yet; as always, Chongyun responded with a cold look on his face and denial of any sum greater than 1000 mora. The old man grumbled something and paid the exact fine of 1000 mora.

Xingqiu leaned over to Chongyun as they walked away. He was always so saddened to see Chongyun do so much for people, and merely accept pocket change in return. 

Other exorcists would be happy to take hundreds of thousands of mora for even minor exorcisms like these. This was why Xingqiu was so absolutely enamoured with him; he had this stubborn resolve to just help people. He wanted to purge the world of evil spirits, which plagued the citizens of Teyvat - out of the goodness of his heart. It was so chivalrous, he believed that Chongyun would fit nicely as one of the novel heroes that Xingiu aspired to be.

“Chongyun, you must stop undervaluing yourself.”

But Chongyun just replied with the same quiet, dull disappointment that Xingqiu was unfortunately all too familiar with. 

He sighed, looking off wistfully. “But all I did was walk into that house, and the problem was resolved. Do I really deserve payment at all?” 

Xingqiu sighed. It always pained him to see Chongyun so upset all the time about something that was absolutely not his fault. 

Xingqiu wondered how the universe could be so broken, so repulsed from logic itself that idiots would run the world with an arrogant, entitled ego, believing themselves to be geniuses because they were born with money. Yet, his earnest and passionate friend lay in the slums believing nothing of himself? 

“People exploit others, while still priding themselves as a tactile genius. And you help others, while believing you deserve nothing more than a coin. You are so kind towards others, and hardworking. You help them in their daily lives; why shouldn’t you accept money?” Xingqiu elbowed his friend, responding with passion and emotion, trying to convince him for once of his own greatness. 

Being a child born to the high class, he was all too familiar with entitlement, and it’s part of why he gravitated so much to the hardworking exorcist.

Chongyun’s eyes crinkled a little in reluctant happiness. “Ah, I suppose when you put it like that… Thank you Xingqiu.”

He closed his eyes, smiling to himself, a bit more genuine. “You always know how to make me feel better. I’m truly lucky that fate allowed us to cross paths.”

Xingqiu was happy to at least have lifted Chongyun’s mood for the moment, but his choice of words hadn’t gone unnoticed. He had just thanked Xingqiu for saying something nice to him, rather than acknowledging and taking in his words.

He understood that deep down nothing had changed; and he had merely put a bandaid on an open, gashing wound. Everyday, he was so frustrated that no matter how many afternoons he had spent babbling about Chongyun’s positive traits, Chongyun would never truly understand deep down. In the end, helping Chongyun come to fully appreciate himself would be work that would last a lifetime.

“Ah, dear Yunyun, when will you come to your senses and realise how incredible you are?” Xingqiu mumbled to himself, very aware of the fact that Chongyun might’ve heard.

Their walk came to settle on the sandy beaches on the coast north of the harbour, near Guyun stone forest. They were underneath a rock formation, which casted light shade for the two to relax in and enjoy the peaks of Mingyun and Dragonspine in the distance. The day was still young, and the sounds of the water splashing on the sand and blue sky created a light atmosphere. Chongyun sat down, and motioned for Xingqiu to sit next to him.

Xingqiu couldn't yet, because he decided the time was right to reveal his present. 

“Chongyun, I have a gift for you. You deserve it, after a day of honest work.”

With that, Xingqiu took out the umbrella stashed in his frilly sleeves, and made sure to make a big show of revealing the pattern. He bought the umbrella up and about, almost like a dance, to grab attention, before dramatically opening it up to reveal the dragon pattern on the inside. It was a turquoise-blue, with gold foil accents. The swirling patterns of the gold dragon were reminiscent of the ones that Chongyun wore on his clothing; Xingqiu thought it was a great fit.

It seemed like Chongyun agreed, judging by the way that his mouth was agape. Soon, he moved, and there was that huge smile, so bright the sun cowered in fear. The expression revealed his dimples, big and happy and imperfect in the most perfect way. 

“Woah… it’s so pretty!” Chongyun said, taking the umbrella from him and spinning it, the metallic foils shimmering in the sun. “Xingqiu, I love it… It’s beautiful. Is it to block the sun?” 

At the realisation, a flush grew on Chongyun’s face as he brought it up behind himself, stepping out of the shadow and into the sun, unrelentingly enthusiastic. The umbrella cast a light shadow on his face, while the rest of his body remained in the light.

With the parasol behind, backlit with the sunny day, he looked like the traditional princesses on the covers of his books.

Chongyun smiled, spinning the parasol in the sun, enjoying the shade it casted. “Oh, Xingqiu! I will be able to stand the test of any bright day now. Thank you.”

Chongyun’s joy was contagious, and a goofy grin spread to Xingqiu's lips as well. “Chongyun, I’m glad you like it so much.”

He closed the parasol and stashed it away into his pockets, sitting back down on the sandy beach next to Xingqiu with a huge grin.

“I’ll use it always.”

Xingqiu nodded back, smiling, so happy as to have made his friend’s day. They fell into a comfortable slience, Chongyun stared out into the horizon thoughtfully with a smile, and Xingqiu started reading the book they had started a few days before. 

He managed to get a few chapters in before Xingqiu decided the scene was a bit too serene and needed some livening up. He put his book away from the shoreline, before raking his fingers into the water and bringing up a splash of water onto Chongyun’s face. 

Chongyun squirmed, his hands flying up in defensive position, and he put his new parasol away on the sand, ready for battle. 

“Hey, what was that for?” He splashed back. 

Xingqiu summoned the power of his vision, did a backflip, lightly dispersing droplets of water all across Chongyun.

“Cheater!” Chongyun called playfully, before turning it up notch and using two hands to splash. 

Soon the interaction broke out into a full on fight, their ankles far into the water, the two growing slowly sprayed with the salty water of the ocean. 

Suddenly Xingqiu felt his metallic heel on the slippery, shiny slope of a scallop shell. He lost his footing, tripping, and fell forward, taking Chongyun down with him. Far from graceful.

It made a big splash in the water, and he groaned in frustration from the embarrassing blunder. Now his clothes were drenched, and he had ruined Chongyun’s clothes too.

“Ugh, sorr-” Xingqiu started, before noticing his friend staring up at him.

Looking down at Chongyun like this, their faces mere inches apart, it was easier to really appriceate his beauty.  

He was definitely the prettiest person in Teyvat. 

Chongyun had a flat, round nose, and adorable chubby cheeks … reminiscent of soft cumulus clouds. His delicate features and pale eyelashes made of snow made him look angelic. And those stupid blue eyes, so colourful, like a kaleidoscope crisscrossed with a million different futures of lost hours and days, but still echoing that familiarity that he always had about him. Every feature on his face was soft and round, and surely he was actually an angel fallen from the welkin which lay above the clouds. Maybe on the fall from heaven, the clouds stained his face with pale eyelashes and round cheeks.

He looked ethereal - and it was only natural, given that it was so hard to believe he was real. Chongyun was far too cute to belong in this world.

And oh, his lips. Those stupid lips that he never could get his mind off. They were medium sized and a bit short, blushed with a peachy warm colour. They looked so deathly soft. 

They were too much to resist, and for some god forsaken reason, Xingqiu gave in. He began to lower his head and let their lips meet gently. 

The contact felt like heaven - Chongyun’s lips felt like exactly how they looked, soft and warm. He could taste the bitter flowers that were left from his popsicles and sea salt.

The kiss lasts barely a few seconds, and when he lifts his face again, he sees Chongyun, looking up at him, dazed.

“What… what was that?” Chongyun breathes.

The question jolted Xingqiu back into reality.  He realised the potential consequences of his actions, his throat beginning to itch as panic settled. How would his friend react? Could they stay friends? Would be become disgusted and never speak to Xingqiu again?

He quickly got off Chongyun and tried to come up with an excuse.  He had to, truly, because by now he knew that Chongyun’s heart was already with someone else. 

“It was, uh, an accident.”

“Really?” Chongyun questioned, concerningly not believing him. 

Xingqiu had no choice but to double down. He squeezed his eyes shut, surely by now Chongyun had realized. He had gotten so invested in that easy atmosphere on the beach that he seemed to forget all boundaries. 

“Yeah! I just uh… accidentally learned forward a bit too far. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable, it won't happen again.”

Chongyun replied after a pause. “Oh… okay.” 

The incident is never brought up again.

By now, the sun began to settle after a day of hard work’s day, the light a cool yellow. The working men of the harbour were packing up to go home, but the street vendors stayed energetic as always. 

For once in his life, Xingqiu had started vigilantly working away at his papers, partly to avoid his fathers lectures, and mostly to stop thinking about the kiss. No matter how hard he tried though, the scene kept playing in his head all over again. The feeling of Chongyun’s soft lips on his, the taste, the gentle sound of the waves… 

Xingqiu flopped onto his bed and pulled a pillow over his head, trying to force the thought away. They touched for a few, light seconds, and it felt like a taste of what love with Chongyun could be. Things had been moving so quickly recently, with the hug, the apartment visit, and the kiss, and after experiencing it, there was no going back. Xingqiu often found himself thinking back to those moments, wanting to chase for more.

What was so awful was that he knew that Chongyun was out of reach, but all Xingqiu could do was fall deeper in love, fall into the stars and the moon and abyss below.

Last night Xingqiu had decided that he had to get over his feelings and move on. Stop revelling in these tiny cute details… but alas it was impossible. He tried chastising himself for falling deeper in love everyday, but no level of mental fortitude could help him by now. By now, he had already been cursed to be hopelessly in love with his best friend forever.

Even though he was afraid to see his friend again, he didn’t want to waste the days where Chongyun was still in the city. So he had invited Chongyun to a dinner at Wangshu Inn, always being fan of the location, given the warm atmosphere and delicious food. This time - he had even signed a peace treaty. No secretly spicy dishes, no yang frenzies, and in the land of stone and contracts, Xingqiu knew that he had to keep his promises.

Intent to go seek out Chongyun and knock on his door, he began in the direction, before noticing the familiar pale hair among the crowd. 

"Chongyun!" Xingqiu exclaimed, feeling his mood lift as soon as the boy came into view.

"Ah, Xingqiu, I was looking for you. Are you ready to go?" Chongyun wears a pleasant expression on his face, fitting for a day like this. He's holding his beautiful parasol in his hand, courtesy of Xingqiu himself. 

Xingqiu replied eagerly, "Yes, I'm ready, I can't wait! The food there is delicious, almost comparable to Xiangling's cooking! Ah, and the seafood. They make the most delicious shrimp… oh, and the congee," Xingqiu’s mouth watered at the thought - he was always more partial to milder foods, like soups and stews in light broth. 

"Congee for dinner?" Chongyun questioned, almost appalled. 

"Day, night, rain, storm, congee is always delicious." Xingqiu said, definitely.

His unfunny remark was rewarded with a little giggle, which was rare for the ice-cold Chongyun to do. It was a light laugh, and his face crinkled up in the most adorable way. Xingqiu felt his stomach do a flip as he attempted to preserve the sound in his memory as accurately as possible. A shame it was so rare, as his laugh was so cute that Xingqiu was sure that he would listen to it for days. 

It was truly embarrassing, really, how enamoured he was with Chongyun. He decided that the only choice now was to make Chongyun even more embarrassed.

"Hey, Yunyun, you should laugh more. You look cute with a smile."

Chongyun looked away, red rushing to his cheeks, while he searched for a popsicle frantically. This time Xingqiu let out his own laugh - his friend was truly adorable.

The rest of the walk there was defined by light banter, with Chongyun talking about his recent developments in thaumaturge training, and Xingqiu talking - no, ranting about the newest books he had read.

During the entire walk, Xingqiu talked about his favourite characters, plot holes, poor writing - Chongyun listened to him intently the whole time, responding with small nods and questions. It almost hurt, how much his friend had genuine interest in these random fixations that nobody else had ever given him the time of day for.

Soon the deck of Wangshu Inn came into view, and the prospect of delicious seafood drew nearer and nearer. 

Chongyun ran up the stairs, Xingqiu rushing to follow suit. They sat down near the edge of the deck on a table for two. He loved Wangshu inn, the atmosphere was warm, given by lanterns strung around the place. 

Silk flower bushes and umbrellas served as decorations, dotting the scene with bright colours. By now the sun had started to slowly rest its sleepy head under the horizon, sky turning a red-orange hue.

Yet, eyes began to drift.

Chongyun gazed up at the lantern lights, looking awestruck, red light highlighting his face, with the sunset behind him. The sunset was still young, baking the land around them in a golden glow. The red lights of the Inn highlighted Chongyun's visage - the colour contrasted his hair nicely. 

Chongyun's hair… It was so fluffy. Xingqiu had touched it before, when he combed through it before Chongyun had visited his auntie Shenhe. He remembered the feeling of it, as soft as a cloud.

Xingqiu's gaze wandered down to Chongyun's lips. They looked so soft - he wanted to cup his face and kis-

He looked away. This was not good, not the right thoughts to be having, he needed to stop before it got out of hand and Chongyun would confront him. After the kiss on the beach, he was on extremely thin ice. Xingqiu was lucky that his friend was gullible enough to just believe him when he said it was an accident.

"Xingqiu, this place is beautiful. You really made a good decision to suggest Wangshu inn for dinner. I'm always pleased to return here." Chongyun chirped, smiling and resting his head on his hand.

The joy was infectious, and Xingqiu felt a smile creep up onto his lips. He enjoyed being at Wangshu too, but his best friend's presence made it so much better.

A waiter soon came over to greet them, and Xingqiu placed his order of too much seafood to even eat, spicy chilli dishes, cold enoki mushrooms, hotpot, and more. Wanghu Inn even served special Inazuman foods, like a dish with rice and fish wrapped in seaweed. It was to be a feast to remember, and would probably result in lots of takeout containers. 

As the waiter left, Chongyun spoke, exasperated. "Are we really going to eat that much? I swear that I will collapse should I even attempt it." 

Xingqiu laughed. "No need to worry Yun, I'll pay.”

After some light banter, the food came. First, Xingqiu's congee, which he had been craving since sending the invitation. He spooned some out with the ladle, and placed it in his bowl, and then filled a second bowl for Chongyun to eat after cooling. He took a slurp of the porridge, enjoying the flavour. Recalling the sound of Chongyun's laugh again earlier that evening made the flavour taste better.

Soon more dishes arrived, like the cold noodles and enoki mushrooms which he had purchased specifically so that Chongyun could enjoy while the food cooled down. He looked so excited, like a cat receiving a treat. He slurped them up excitedly, perhaps unceremoniously, and broth droplets splashed around. 

Chongyun smiles. "These are delicious. And a restaurant that sells cold food! How incredible." Xingqiu felt a little curious, so he reached over with his chopsticks to steal a few stands. 

"Hey, this is mine." Chongyun says jokingly. “Why don't you go eat your own food?"

Xingqiu pouted. “Wow. To think that sweet Chongyun is so selfish that he won't even share.”

Chongyun gets apologetic at that and offers the noodles to Xingqiu. They weren't bad… but Xingqiu preferred eating them hot.

Xingqiu returns to his bowl of congee, not before more food arrives. The staff had made several dishes at the same time, so the rest of their food had come all at once. He was to make sure both him and Chongyun would leave this place with a belly stuffed full.

They dive in, Chongyun avoiding the spicy dishes, and removing small pieces of food from the hot plate to help them cool down faster. Xingqiu starts on his crystal shrimp - Xiangling makes them better, but shrimp is shrimp. He's sure to remove the carrots first, and tries to sneakily put them into Chongyun's plate, a gesture that goes noticed and returns him a sarcastic annoyed look.

He ordered a Liyuean hot pot with lamb meat, and ice-cold water for Chongyun to dip the slices into. He looks so excited while dipping the lamb meat into the water, which was an idea that he had come up with himself and offhandedly mentioned while doing a commission. He looked like a scientist who had discovered something groundbreaking.

The strange Inazuman meal shows up soon, and Xingqiu peers at it curiously. It had.. raw fish in it? Was that even safe?

It didn’t seem to phase Chongyun, because he quickly took hold of it in his chopsticks and dove right in. He squirmed slightly as it went down his throat, scrunching his nose in delight, not unlike what he did after eating his popsicles. It was awfully cute.

“Nothing is better than an authentic, Inazuman meal.” Chongyun states, his chopsticks poised for more.

He supposed that if his friend liked the dish so much, Xingqiu would let it go for being so outlandish.

After time passes, filled with banter and delicious food, the sun finally hid its sleepy head under the horizon.  

It’s starting to get a little cold… Xingqiu thinks, shivering a little as a rogue gust of wind passes them by.

It didn't go unnoticed, attracting concerned eyes from across the table.

 "Xingqiu, are you cold?" Chongyun said, with a worried look on his eyebrows. 

Xingqiu doesn't think he could get away with lying at this point. "Yes, a little, but it's not a big deal."

At that, Chongyun takes off his sweater. He hands it over the table to give to Xingqiu. 

Chongyun shakes the sweater a bit, gesturing for Xingqiu to take it. "You can have my jacket. Maybe it will help with the cold."

Xingqiu responds slowly while waving his hands to decline. "Chongyun... worry not. You're gonna get cold yourself. You don't need to do this."

Chongyun doesn't seem very happy with the reply at all, his eyebrows scrunching and lips drawn into a thin line. 

"No, Xingqiu, I'll do anything if it makes you feel better."

oh.

Xingqiu feels all the blood rush to his face. Chongyun was really too blunt sometimes, saying things so sweet with the most earnest, serious expression on his face. In that moment, his affection for the cold-faced exorcist swelled with a certain fondness that grew in his chest and threatened to burst. Does Chongyun have any idea of the effect that he has on Xingqiu? 

Ah, that boy would be the death of him.

Xingqiu hadn't seen Chongyun in several hours since he announced his departure for dragonspine, and he was beginning to get concerned. Maybe it was nothing to be worried about, as Chongyun had a natural resistance to the cold, and had made him worry like this several times in the past before returning refreshed with a pleasant smile on his face.

He decided there wasn't much to worry about, and remembered that today Wanwen bookhouse was due to receive new releases. Responsibilities forgotten, he leisurely strolled over to the bookhouse, greeting Jifang and looking through the new arrivals. Xingqiu contemplated which books seemed interesting, his gaze wandering over to a Wuxia novel. He reached towards it to read the description, when he heard a voice behind him.

Xingqiu was surprised to see Albedo, the artist for his novel in progress - he felt a little embarrassed to be caught in the act of indulging in trashy books. 

Albedo looked at him with a pleasant smile, greeting him politely. It had been awhile since Xingqiu had last seen his illustrator, and was quite happy to see him again.

"Hello Xingqiu, it's good to see you. I come to Wanwen bookhouse to look for artistic references and inspiration. I trust that you are doing well?" He spoke in a mild, soft spoken tone. 

Xingqiu replied cheerfully. "Pleasure to see you again, my liege. It's been awhile since we were last in accordance. Yes, I'm in good spirits today. What brings you to Liyue?"

Albedo smiled. "Ah, there was an unexpected storm in Dragonspine. It's one of the worst I've ever seen. The wind and snow was so ferocious that even I felt it was uncomfortable to stay in. 

For whatever reason, I wanted to break from my routine, so I decided to come to Liyue and visit my friend Hu Tao."

"You are friends with Hu tao? And, through a storm so bad, how did you simply leave the area? what a character you are, Albedo." Xingqiu said, politely giggling with mirth on the tip of his tongue.

Albedo seemed to look past Xingqiu, thinking about something completely beyond him. With a character so enigmatic, it was pointless to try to find out what it meant. He wondered what other secrets the illusive illustrator had.

Wait.

Chongyun. Dragonspine. Unexpected storm. Missing for several hours. 

What if something happened? 

He had to go find him.

Suddenly Xingqiu bolted out of the bookstore, impolitely leaving Albedo behind. He would have to apologise by letter later.

Xingqiu returned to his room, changing into warmer clothing. He had never been to Dragonspine before, or any cold area for that matter, and lamented his lack of warm clothes. Shorts wouldn't do, so he found a pair of trousers, and a decorative jacket that was only suitable for fashion. It was the best he could do.

With that, he sprinted out of his room, maids questioning him from behind. He ran away from the harbour, and towards the deadly peaks.

As he drew near, the gravity of Albedo's words began to sink in. The wind travelled so fast, with the snow following suit, the trees and bushes' branches dancing in the wind. A blanket of snow on the ground was picked up and tossed around, flowing in s curves as it fluttered around the white landscape.

But with the prospect of Chongyun being in danger, Xingqiu knew he had no choice but to brave the wilds and go in search. Using elemental sight, he could see the icy traces left by Chongyun, and quickly began to follow. Anxiety pricked at his stomach, and he was afraid that by braving the winter storm, he would fall to the elements himself. But he was motivated to look for Chongyun.

The snow storm was ferocious. He was excruciatingly cold, the frost biting at him, his skin almost immediately turning red.  The wind was so intense it threatened to topple him over, and the strength made his eyes water, making Xingqiu squint in response. It was hard to keep going, but he had to, forcing himself to break into a jog for the sake of Chongyun. He continued to follow the path, every part of his body cold, aching from exhaustion, the sensations too much to bear. 

Xingqiu continued to make his way of the mountain slowly, plotting out a route using the heat lamps pre installed by the adventurers guild to regain strength.  Every second he spent waiting next to the lamps felt like hours, because… what if those seconds meant life and death?

Forget the seconds he spent on the lamps… what if Chongyun had succumbed to the bitter frost? What - what if he had already died?

Xingqiu tried to brush away the thoughts, to quell his anxiety as he continued to follow the trail. He was merely looking for Chongyun to bring him home; nothing more, nothing less. Then they could return to the harbour and continue going to restaurants, doing commissions and living their idyllic life.

Xingqiu continued to trudge up the hill, but the heat lamps were growing sparser and sparser - steps growing smaller and smaller to match. He was truly stupid for challenging the deadly peaks of Dragonspine on its worst day. 

Xingqiu saw a cave in the distance, likely a makeshift camp for someone who had come by before. He stepped into the cave and felt the relief from the wind. By a miracle, the fire still had firewood in it, and some kindling. 

He lit the fire and tried to regain as much strength as possible in the smallest amount of time. Maybe the previous tenure simply didn't want to lug around firewood with them - or maybe they had met a darker fate. 

He wanted to stay, but he knew that he couldn't, not when his best friend was still out there. He stepped back into the warzone, and continued walking along the trail.

After what felt like eternity in the pale dreary, white wastelands of dragonspine - he had found what he was looking for. a mop of soft blue hair swishing in the wind. Connected to it - Chongyun's body lying limp in the snow.

The world faded away.

Harsh winds and cold temperatures forgotten, Xingqiu sprinted forward, only to find his worst nightmare.

Chongyun, his best friend, his closest confidant, his first and only love - lying lifeless on the snow, eyes closed, skin blue and colour drained away.

His stomach dropped. And suddenly all his senses dulled, and everything was so quiet. Xingqiu fell to his knees, reaching out to the body, his skin being far too cold for such a warm and sweet boy. 

"y-yunyun...?"

"oh god, do you hear me??? hello? Chongyun? wake up, please!!"

It seemed like in Chongyun's body, everything had halted. There was a loud ringing in Xingqiu’s ears, a violent scream of pumps in his heart, claws gripping and scratching at his throat as panic and fear continued to grow in his stomach. 

"No, no, this can't be happening. Please don't tell me this is happening. Hello? Chongyun?!?" 

Nothing. 

"Chongyun!! Chongyun? please, please, just let me get through to you. Chongyun!! YUNYUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

Panicked whispers turned to distressed screams, but the words hit nothing. His words, full of life, full of emotion, full of humanity, were blocked by an inanimate object. He was talking to nobody, yelling into an infinite space between them. 

His own voice began to crackle and struggle under the strain of his scratched yells, yet he could barely hear himself over the heartbeat in his chest and panic pumping in his ears. He couldn’t breathe anymore, panicked breaths turning to laboured heaves desperately exiting his body. The snowscape behind faded to a blur, and his vision felt so unclear except for Chongyun’s blue skin and lifeless expression. 

He shook Chongyun by the shoulders, delusionally hoping that he was just sleeping, and needed some help waking up.

"Yun? Please, please, don’t do this to me. WAKE UP!! WAKE UP!!"

But there was nothing. No response. He was truly alone on that mountain. Just Xingqiu, the snow, and a dead boy. 

The cold wind made its presence known, as Xingqiu saw the early signs of frostbite creeping on his hands, and he knew he couldn't stay there for any longer. 

He desperately hoped - probably delusionally - that Chongyun was still alive. Xingqiu tried to believe he could be revived, as the thought of losing his best friend was too much to bear. With the strength of adrenaline, he picked up the corpse and ran back into the cave, the snow and wind whipped him, tousling his hair in the wind. He couldn't feel anything but the weight of his beloved in his arms, his clothes, his cold skin.

“No, no, no, no, no… Please no, this can’t be…” 

Xingqiu placed his friend next to the fire that was left behind in the camp.

Delusion and panic clouded his mind. Desperately, Xingqiu placed his hands onto Chongyun's chest, trying to feel a heartbeat or hear some breaths, but was met with nothing. Not a soft puff of air. No steady, soft breathing that would be heard during his meditation sessions. He tried again, pushing hard into his wrist with two fingers. Nothing.

That was it. There was no more pretending. 

Chongyun was gone.

In the peaceful, low lit atmosphere of the cave, adrenaline faded away, and reality was starting to hit him. The lump in his throat built bigger, so hot and twisting and surely by now he would’ve choked on it.

The barrage broke, delusion wore away. Xingqiu let out a tear. and another. Then a floodgate broke, his overwhelming emotions finally flowing freely. It felt foreign - Xingqiu wasn't one to cry much. He avoided it, for his eyes would be ugly and puffy afterwards. Now, the tears fell infinitely as the weight of loss bore into his soul.

What would he even do in his life without Chongyun? It would be impossible to imagine; torturous even. He couldn’t even fathom the idea… what would there be to look forward to? How could he live without him - or, how could he live, knowing Chongyun was gone? 

Time melted away into a foreign concept, he sobbed, tears rolling down his cheeks and freezing as they hit the cold cave surface. Cries came so strong, so painful that his chest began to hurt, so loud they sounded like screams. 

When his lungs began to give out, he looked down, looked down at what he couldn't handle, couldn't bear to see. His Chongyun, his beautiful, sweet, earnest, adorable Chongyun, sprawled lifelessly on the cave floor. 

"Yunyun... please just wake up again... I really need you. I can't go on without you. You're the thing that matters to me the most. I can't lose you."

and because nobody was there to hear-

"I love you. I love you more than anything else in this world. And I know I should’ve told you before but there." 

Now, he felt something strange. Regret. He somehow regretted that he had never told Chongyun before that he was in love. He wished that Chongyun would somehow hear his confession. How… How was that even possible? His entire life he had prided himself on having the self-restraint and forward thinking to never have had to burden Chongyun with a rejection. Against all logic, regret wore away at his insides, filling them with the certain emptiness of uncertain futures. Chongyun liking him back was a concept with a sub-zero likelihood, yet it was a future that nagged at him because it suddenly became impossible to explore.

Xingqiu has done what he's never been able to do his entire life. Despite that, he felt not an ounce of joy. It hurt to look at him like this.

Unable to bear looking at his face anymore, Xingqiu flopped onto Chongyun's chest, placing his fingers onto Chongyun's palm, his fingers feeling like ice. His body was slung over Chongyun, weeping into his chest, hand squeezed tight. He stays like that for a long time; crushed under the burden of loss, unable to move. The sun had long since set outside anyways, he would need to wait till morning to be on his way.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Out of the quiet sobs and desperate whispers, a voice rang out in the cave.

"...X-Xingqiu?"

Huh? Xingqiu believed it must be a hallucination, a trick of the mind. Despite himself, he craved the comfort, the promise of this hellscape to be over, so he heaves himself away from Chongyun's body to look at his face. 

It wasn't a delusion. His eyes are open again. 

"Chongyun!!" Xingqiu yelled. He couldn't believe it- Chongyun, he was still alive! A rush of relief and elation washes over him - eradicating his earlier sorrows. Xingqiu surely had never been this happy to see Chongyun before.

Without thinking, Xingqiu grabbed his face and smashed his lips onto it. 

Chongyun, surprised, looks at him with confusion and a pretty blush growing on his cheeks. A clear sign of life.

"Xingqiu, you - huh? Where are we?" 

He grabbed Chongyun's face and cupped it in his hands, admiring Chongyun's face. His snowflake eyelashes kissed his round, soft cheeks, a round line leading to his adorable little flat nose. 

Xingqiu gazed in awe as he realised that Chongyun's face had begun to regain vital life signs, like the warm shade of his lips, peach-tinted skin, and perpetual blush. And oh, those eyes. Those pretty blue eyes which he thought he would never see again. They shone just right in the light to look like ice stuck in time. He stared into them, getting lost in their colour. 

Chongyun seemed to stir under Xingqiu's intense gaze, trying to break eye contact, but to no success.

Maybe the intense staring was uncomfortable, but Xingqiu had just witnessed his friend die. He deserved this.

"ah, Xingqiu?"

Decidedly he needed to stop staring, so he pulled in, hugging like his life depended on it. He felt so at ease and comfortable being close to Chongyun, revelling in the way he could feel his chest rise and fall. 

Gentle sobs punctuated Xingqiu's speech. "Chongyun, oh my god, I thought you were dead. I thought I lost you. I- oh, I'm just so overjoyed to see you again. Your heartbeat stopped. Are you real? Maybe I'm dreaming?”

After a pause,

“Yun, I've now learned that - that it is a privilege to look at you.“

Chongyun, from behind Xingqiu's shaking figure, weakly tried to apologise. 

Xingqiu can't forgive him.

Xingqiu decided that after the incident at Dragonspine, he needed to just confess to Chongyun. Even If it ruined their friendship or not, even if it was nonsensical given Chongyun’s love for this mysterious Collei. 

Though the thought filled him with anxiety, Xingqiu remembered that feeling in Dragonspine, feeling that choking regret, that “I should’ve told him before.” He had to do this; for himself, Chongyun, and that small, scared Xingqiu back in the cave in Dragonspine. 

Maybe with a rejection, Xingqiu could start to move on. Besides, after not one but two kisses, surely his “secret” had just become a poorly-disguised truth nobody wanted to acknowledge.

Why was he so afraid of confessing to Chongyun at all? Was it because of his fear of losing what friendship he had with Chongyun… or was it a deeper fear of rejection? His image of a perfect boy being ruined by being vulnerable and failing? 

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. Maybe it would be easier if Rex Lapis struck him with the wrath of the rock, and he wouldn't have to deal with this problem anymore.

Yet, the old grandma’s words echoed in his mind; Don’t think I don't see the way that you look at him. Watch yourself, or soon you’ll be just like that fool.

Maybe it was about time that he listened to the advice of the elders in his life. 

Well, he had to set the scene for a romantic confession. He had done lots of research the night before, finding all his favourite stories and compiling them with the best tropes that he thought that Chongyun would enjoy.

First on his list, flowers. Xingqiu was buying them more for the romantic image than for Chongyun himself, if he was being honest. He wasn't really sure if Chongyun was really a sentimental guy, or would pick up on those social conventions. 

So he found himself lazily strolling through the streets of Liyue harbour, allowing himself to be pulled in by some merchant on the streets parading their wares. He stopped at a flower shop on the wharf, and as he started walking to it, the merchant grew excited as to have enticed a new customer.

“Ah! the young master of the Feiyun commerce guild. What a miracle it is to have you have a customer. Now, what do you care to buy? I peddle flowers from every corner of Teyvat, surely there is one to catch your eye.”

Xingqiu thanked the man and started looking at his collection. He was definitely correct, because not only did he seem to have every Liyuean flower that existed, but he also was carrying some Mondstadtian ones… and several that Xingqiu couldn’t even recognize. 

Chongyun often mentioned liking qingxin flowers, often infusing water with it with ice to calm his yang energy, so Xingqiu plucked a few of them from the stands.

And beyond that, while on his restless strolls of Liyue harbour, he often saw the glaze lilies near the pavilion and imagined how heavenly Chongyun would probably look with one in his hair. He sighed at the thought, eyes glazing over in wistful imagination. That was all the flowers he planned to buy… but ah, what was that beautiful white flower?

The merchant piped up again, ready to convince. “Well here, we have cecilla. It only grows where harsh winds blow, and people say it represents the freedom and love of the people of Monstadt.”

Xingqiu peered upon them, quite convinced, gazing at their beauty. The name surely fit their appearance, and decided they would be great in his bouquet for Chongyun.

The merchant continued, showing off another flower, which was a periwinkle shade. “And this is the padisarah, a flower from Sumeru which bloomed underneath the goddess of the flower's feet. “

It was beautiful. He decided to take a few of those, too… for 8000 mora each?!

The merchant started again on another flower, a golden lotus, before Xingqiu realized he was being whisked away by the romantic imagery and pretty petals. As one well-versed in business, he shouldn't be falling for cheap tricks, and decided that he should probably stop listening to the merchant lest his coin pouch grow lighter and lighter.

“Thank you, sir. That’s enough for me, I will buy the Qingxins, Glaze Lily, Cecilia and Pardisarah.”

Well, that roundup seemed to keep him content nonetheless, especially considering the hefty price tag on the last two flowers.

“Good luck!” He says, happily accepting the mora which Xingqiu dropped into his fingers, the weight of them making a loud and satisfying “flump.” At the sound, the merchant smiled and waved Xingqiu away. 

With the flowers, Xingqiu found a quiet spot away from the people and started arranging the flowers. The end result was pretty for sure, with a gold and baby blue colour palette to match a certain exorcist. He wrapped the flowers with the wrapping provided by the salesman and with some gold string kept in his pocket and went back to his house. On the way back to his room, he had decided to try taking the less popular routes around the harbour, far too embarrassed to let anyone see the shrewd young master blushing and carrying around flowers.

The location? He had already picked it out, atop Mt. Tianheng, which overlooked the harbour and Liyue’s mountscape above. He would have to invite Chongyun to go around 6pm when the sun was starting to set.

Last on his list of preparations, a letter, inviting him out. He would try to hire a calligrapher to create a romantic and beautiful note, but his pride had other ideas. Xingqiu took out his calligraphy for dummies set, piling the ink and quill on his cluttered desk, shoving mountains of failed poems and unfinished paperwork aside to make a small piece of space. 

After frantically searching through his papers which were hastily piled on the floor, he settled on some papers with gold trim and painted imagery of plum blossoms over a rising blue sky.

Xingqiu sat down, and began chipping away at writing a decent letter. An hour later, his trash can was full, and his papers threatened to run out, he settled on a… semi readable note. It would have to do, he supposed. 

“Chongyun,

I want to tell you something. Meet me at the east side of Mt. Tianheng at 6pm.”

And because he was feeling a bit daring-

“Xingqiu <3”

Xingqiu decidedly wanted to look pretty for this special occasion, so he walked into the bathroom attached to his room and started on his 12-step skincare routine. 

Admiring his soft cheeks after finishing, he couldn't help but feel his eyes wander to a golden eyeshadow he had bought offhandedly once at a flea market. 

He swiped it on… and had to admit that it was quite pretty, matching his eyes quite well. To match, he plucked an ornate hairpin from a cup in the bathroom, wrapping his hair around it. It had rich blue crystals in it in a rose shape, attached around swivelling golden loops. 

His every-day clothing wouldn't do, so he dug into his closet, opting for something reminiscent of his everyday clothing - but not the same. He landed on a frilly white shirt with the most lovely sleeves, flowy like water. It sported a more open neckline which exposed his collarbones, white ruffles falling from it. 

He always loved how it looked - but never wore it because it was far too embarrassing. Today though, he was about to confess his feelings to his crush, so nothing at that point could be embarrassing by comparison. 

Finally, to match his hairpin, a small, elegant raindrop necklace.

He looked in the mirror again after this transformation, smiling to himself in the mirror and pulling a few stupid poses. He had to admit that outfit was cute. Perhaps he should be more flamboyant with his fashion decisions more often.

With all preparation completed, the hardest part was to come - executing his plan. Taking the bouquet into a small bag, he slipped the letter under Chongyun’s door, before dashing off towards the mountain.

His stomach twisted as he began his hike to the location. How deathly would it be, if his flowers and sunsets and grand gestures of love would be a backdrop to a rejection? It would be so awful if he prepared all this, got all dolled up, only to be turned down. 

Maybe he should’ve tried a less romantic confession, so possibly he could try to play it off as a joke. Or maybe just to make the thought less cringe-worthy when he was reminded about it on restless nights.

Alas, his plan was already in motion, and it was far too late to turn back. 

Finally, he reached the clearing, looking up and revelling in that awe-struck feeling at the sight of Liyuean landscape bathed in that orange glow. It was quite often that Xingqiu was reminded of how beautiful his home nation was, picturesque and perfect. It was a great place for a confession. He laid a green plaid tarp on the dirt, hiding the flowers behind him and admiring the scenery.

Xingqiu’s nerves began to spike again as he saw a white figure slowly making its way up the mountain, drawing nearer and nearer.

Chongyun huffed lightly, sitting down next to him on the fabric, crunching on the remaining piece of ice left on his popsicle. Half his face was covered in that warm dying light, a highlighted ring of gold stained into his hair, forming a halo. He looked angelic.

“Hey Xingqiu, What’s the formal letter for?”

He looked up at Xingqiu’s face, down at his clothes, and back up again, and paused. 

“Oh. You look… pretty.”

Xingqiu blushed at the words, it seemed like he had made the right decisions in his room earlier. 

“Thank you Chongyun, you do too.”

It was hard to believe that today Xingqiu would try to confess to such a beautiful boy - someone who looked so ethereal that he seemed almost untouchable. The sunset behind a lovely liyuean view, and the cutest boy in Teyvat in the foreground, certainly a picture to remember.

“What do you want to tell me?” Chongyun questioned, jolting Xingqiu back into his plans.

He tried to focus on reciting the script in his head rather than the twists and knots that his stomach was making. Possibly in an alternate universe he would be enjoying this cute moment with his best friend, but today, he was far too anxious.

Well, it was now or never. 

Xingqiu grabbed the bouquet of flowers from behind him and shoved them into Chongyun’s arms, a few petals falling away from the impact. Chongyun looked surprised, eyes forced open. 

Too afraid to look at Chongyun’s reaction, Xingqiu pinched his eyes shut and began. He took a big breath, trying to gather his confidence to just start. 

“Chongyun, I love you. You're gentle yet stubborn, and always so earnest. Heart of clear water indeed. Even though people say you have a face of ice, I understand it's wrong. You are always so open and kind and passionate and I love the way that you light up when talking about things you love. I feel like I can really be myself around you. You are the most important thing to me in the world, and everything about you is perfect. I love you.” 

Xingqiu peeked open his eyes, afraid of what he was to see, already starting to critique the way his confession came out in his head. Chongyun looked at him with a look of shock on his face, an expression so unreadable that suddenly Xingqiu felt the burden of his decision again and began to regret it.

Panic started to build and scratch at his psyche as he looked at Chongyun, trying to tell if the expression on his face was a good thing or bad thing. As those few seconds of silence stretched on, he began to suspect the latter was true.

“Uh, well, it’s okay if you don't feel the same way. Actually I already know you don't, I just wanted to let you know. After the day at Dragonspine, I realised that I just had to get it out. B-b-but it’s alright if you don't reciprocate. I’m..actually.. I-I was prepared for that!  We can just go back to the way we always were, and forget I said anything, I promise.” 

Xingqiu just kept babbling on, hoping that by oversaturating the moment with words, he could somehow drown out the more important ones in significance. He talked so fast that he almost ran out of breath, heart beat increasing as he regretted his decisions.

Suddenly he feels Chongyun’s hand on his arm, the touch interrupting his rambles and bringing him back to reality.

“Hey, Xingqiu, stop. You didn’t even let me reply.” Chongyun said carefully, his words coming out slowly.

Xingqiu closed an eye and grimaced, bracing for the impact. Those words that would break him, that, “I’m sorry but I don't feel the same way.” The softness that would come with it, the contrast of his understanding and caring words with such cruel fate of unreciprocated love that would leave Xingqiu’s heart ripped until the end of his days.

“I love you too.” 

… huh?

Xingqiu looked back at him with a look of disbelief. 

This is what he was afraid of; his friend’s unrelenting sympathy.

“Chongyun, you don't have to lie to make me feel better.” Xingqiu said, eyes trained on his hands to avoid his gaze. 

He felt Chongyun’s calloused fingers on his face as he gently guided Xingqiu’s gaze up again, their eyes meeting. From the look on his eyes alone, Xingqiu knew that he was being honest. 

Eyes that reflected sheer adoration, like he was the most precious thing in Teyvat. The most kind, genuine expression in history and it made Xingyun's stomach churn in the best way to know that it was for him.

Chongyun started again. “Okay, if you don’t believe me, I’ll be more clear. I love you. You are so thoughtful to me, and I really appreciate everything that you do to make me happy. I thought that I was unlovable, but you have proved me wrong. I feel so lucky that we met, because I wonder how broken I would be without you. Xingqiu, you make living so much easier for me, and I cherish every moment that we spend together.” 

Chongyun exhales and smiles, so beautiful and soft and gentle that a weaker man would cry. A pretty red blush spread on his cheeks.

“I love you.” Chongyun repeated, maybe just to make sure the message stuck.

Relief washed over Xingqiu, a warm feeling that bloomed across his whole body. And those features that he fantasized about on bright Sunday mornings at his desk became a reality. The boy in front of him, that he had been so hopelessly enamoured with his entire life, just told him that he feels the same way.

He doesn’t even know how to reply to that. 

Xingqiu hadn't even had a plan worked out in the one in one trillion chance that his feelings were reciprocated, so he just opened and closed his mouth a few times like a fish - a far cry from the eloquent way that he always spoke. A huge stupid grin spreads across his face, as he takes Chongyun’s hands into his own.

“Oh! Uh, well, that, um, that’s… that’s great!”

Xingqiu says, trying to get words out, despite not really knowing how to describe this otherworldly feeling of elation and excitement other than “great.” He should try to make up for this linguistic blunder later on.

Chongyun chuckles, in a way that’s light and a little breathy, and oh so pretty. By now, he could see Chongyun’s blush slowly spreading across his face.

“Yeah.. it sure is.”

How… could this be though? He had already been practically told already that Chongyun hadn’t loved him back? The puzzle pieces didn’t fit quite right, even though Xingqiu prided himself on reading others like a book.

“W-what about all the times I flirted with you though? Why didn’t you… respond?”

Chongyun scrunched his face in confusion, tilting his head a little. “What flirting?”

Xingqiu stopped, things started to make a bit more sense. “What of Collei?”

Chongyun’s eyebrows drop, a frown appearing. “Why are we talking about Collei?”

Xingqiu couldn't believe his idiocracy. All the signals misinterpreted, misunderstandings blocking them away from furthering their relationship for years. Now, Xingqiu was starting to understand the absurdity of his beliefs. How could he be so stupid?

A giggle turned into a laugh, and then a hysterical fit that had Xingqiu clutching at his stomach. A kind of realization dawns on Chongyun, and he joins Xingqiu with laughter. The sound of their laughter rings out through the mountains, a clear and happy sound to render the pain into nothing but a silly joke. 

“Oh. Chongyun, I’m an idiot.” Xingqiu states, admitting his own shortcomings. 

“I am too.” Chongyun responds.

“I wish I had done this sooner.”

“I-I thought about doing this before, but I never thought you’d like me back.”

Xingqiu giggles again, hands falling into the loops on his sweater. “That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.”

Chongyun smiles again almost shamefully, pulling his flowers away and on the ground next to them. “So… what does this mean for us?”

To Xingqiu, it meant legalized staring, dates which he could now consider romantic, cuddling, the title “boyfriends” and whatever else couples do. Yet, one thing seemed more pressing than the rest; something they had done before, and Xingqiu decided to request it.

“Can I kiss you?”

Chongyun nods, and Xingqiu takes on the offer and leans in. 

His lips were soft, and this time, Xingqiu can fully appreciate the feeling. Everything was so soft, from the feeling of his lips, his clothes, the “flavourless” popsicles on his lips, the warmth that bloomed in his stomach. It was a little awkward, but Xingqiu decided to push a bit further, smiling into the kiss. Cautiously, Chongyuns hands fall forward, holding on to his waist for support. Xingqiu takes it as an invitation to rest his hand on Chongyun’s cheek and arm on his shoulder, pulling them closer. He reveled in the way that Chongyun’s heart pounded violently in his chest, because it reassured him that his friend was just as nervous.

It was longer, deeper, and maybe not perfect, but so much more than he’d ever had before. Kissing his best friend who he loved and loved him back felt so, so good. 

Xingqiu began to run out of breath, and was forced to part. As he drew further, he recognized that bright red blush on Chongyun’s face - all too familiar, but somehow now it carried a new meaning. 

Suddenly it seemed like his condition was threatened to take over, though, as Chongyun broke the stare and frantically started looking for one of his popsicles.

This time, Xingqiu giggled as he pulled away from the kiss but without that rush of panic and anxiety that once plagued him. This time, he knew that he didn't have to apologize. 

He was free to love as much as he wanted.