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When Aizawa kicked the doors open to the 1A dorms one peaceful Saturday morning holding a pet carrier that seemed to have a small animal throwing itself against the walls, Kouda was already half expecting Aizawa to come to him for advice. He had done it before, to help weigh and feed newborn kittens and asked a few elderly cats where they were hurting the most.
Aizawa spotted Kouda immediately, and made his way through the common room, accumulating a few students along the way. He set the pet carrier down.
“Aw! What a cute bunny!” Mina cooed.
“YOUR ENTIRE BLOODLINE WILL BE A FEAST FOR MY LITTLE BODY.”
“EEP!” Mina stumbled back. She couldn’t understand the language of rabbit like Kouda could, but she could read rabbit body language just fine. This was one mean bunny.
“Midoriya has been quirked into a bunny.” Aizawa said, sounding tired. “Please. Please tell him to stop biting me.”
Aizawa was covered in little scratches, and there was a bunny shaped bite mark under his eye.
“Um,” Kouda said, eyeing the pet carrier fearfully as the sound of lightning crackled within and whatever was inside slammed itself against the side of the pet carrier. “Midoriya? Can you hear me?”
A series of cuss words, screeching, and threats to bite Kouda’s thumb off and feed it to his children came in response. Kouda took a step back in fear.
“He is beyond my control, sir.”
“Great.” Aizawa looked anything but great. He looked like he was about to pass out.“I’m entrusting him with you.”
“What?” Surprisingly, it was not Kouda who protested but a flustered Mina, who was eyeing the crate with suspicion. “Dad sensei, is that like, safe? He’s like, rabid!”
“I know of nothing but the death of my enemies, who will die when I demand so. The wheels of history will turn with their blood!” Midoriya screeched from the carrier. Kouda paled.
“He does not have rabies.” Aizawa thumbed his forehead with his pointer finger and thumb. Kouda wanted to argue that although he did not have rabies, this rabbit should not be around nineteen students of varying personalities and edibility. “The quirk is supposed to last anywhere from two to five days. According to the quirk user the person does not retain memories from before or after the event, so he is basically-”
“He doesn’t remember us?” Todoroki was poking the sides of the crate with a pencil. The pencil was grabbed by one green clawed paw and the sound of aggressive chewing could be heard over Midoriya’s screeching.
"ARRRGHHH NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!”
“No.” Aizawa sighed. “Think of it like a training exercise or whatever.”
That statement was pointed at Kouda, who gulped. Midoriya finally was able to push the carrier to the side of the table, where he was able to knock himself off and onto the floor. The door luckily stayed put, but this only caused Midoriya to scream louder.
“Why is he acting like this? Wouldn’t he just act like a normal bunny?” Momo attempted to grab the carrier but was stopped by one particularly loud hiss that Kouda heard as a very aggressive curse about the shape of Momo’s hands.
Aizawa raised an eyebrow. “Is this not how normal bunnies act?”
Kouda shook his head.
“Oh. Well maybe since he has no recollection of who he is, he’s like, really afraid?” Ochako murmured. “Like, maybe we should let him out!”
“Yeah, that’s a great idea! Get him comfortable.”
Before Kouda could explain that NO, that was NOT a good idea, Mina unlatched the carrier door and Midoriya shot off like a rocket with his bunny sized quirk and into the rest of the dorms.
“FINALLY! I AM FREE OF THAT CURSED PRISON! I WILL NOT BE HELD CAPTIVE ANY MORE!”
“My pencil is gone.” Todoroki sounded like he might cry.
“Midoriya!” Kouda chased after the little green blur as it tore into the couch cushions, bonked against the glass windows, and left dents in the drywall. “Try to remember who you are, little one!”
Midoriya skidded to a stop in the middle of the room. He was about the size of a six month old rabbit, with fluffy looking green fur that stuck up on one end, crackling with his quirk. “I know nothing. I have no memories to my name. All I know is that I must kill.”
“Kill?” whispered Kouda. “Please! Do not kill!”
Midoriya did the best glare that he could muster from behind the beady eyes of a cute fluffy bunny body, and launched himself forward, knocking Kouda to the ground. One of the girls let out a scream. It also could have been Todoroki. Kouda accepted his fate and allowed the bunny to place his hind paws on his neck, claws dangerously close to the jugular. “Do not trick me with your words, villain. I will not fall under the whims of a human with a magical voice. I am the rage and the night.”
He smashed his paws over Kouda's mouth, silencing any attempt Kouda will make to talk him down. Kouda instead grabbed the bunny by the armpits and pulled himself up to his feet.
“Violence for the sake of violence is the rule of beasts. I did not know that you were so renowned from your own laws that you choose to turn your back so willingly.” Kouda put no force of his quirk behind his words, but that only made Midoriya thrash harder.
“What the fuck is he talking about?” Mina whispered loudly.
“Unhand me, villain! I am god’s perfect killing machine!” Midoriya screeched, clawing at every bit of exposed skin he could reach.
“You’re like, two kilograms.”
Midoriya chose that moment to bite down as hard as he could on Kouda’s pulse point, and Kouda dropped him with a yelp. He shot off like a light into the stairwell, cackling maniacally.
“Yeah. Fuck this. Bye.” Aizawa was out the door before Kouda could ask him to do anything about the rabbit with murderous rage he just released into the dorms. “Let me know when he changes back.”
“He has to calm down at some point, right?” Ochako whispered from her position in the stairwell. From her line of sight she could see Midoriya tearing into the sofa cushions like they had some sort of personal grudge against him.
“He’s still screaming about death and destruction.” Kouda signed. Somewhere in the middle of trying to trap Midoriya in the common room and escaping his wrath he lost the will to speak. It was something he was exclusively working on in training, but to have his lungs fail him now in the actual face of danger scared him. But he pushed that aside, and kept signing. His classmates needed him. “In shelters and zoos I have worked at, they usually let the animals calm down on their own before feeding or trying to clean their area. It makes the animals feel safer. But I have never encountered this problem, because my quirk works on all animals.”
“All animals except Midoriya, apparently.” Todoroki pointed out. This earned him a slug in the shoulder from Mina. “Sorry.”
“It is okay.” Kouda smiled.
“Well, I think we’ve been going at this the wrong way too. Midoriya isn’t a bunny usually. He’s a human. I think we need Shinsou.” Ochako’s eyes gleamed with mirth.
Iida excitedly slammed a fist into the palm of his hand. “Ingenious as always, Urarakakrakaraka!”
“No.”
“C’mon!”
“No.”
“Shinsou, we really do need-”
“I can hear him from up here. I don’t need Kouda’s quirk to understand him. No.” Shinsou crossed his arms.
“Shinsou, I didn’t want to do this.” Tsuyu croaked mischievously. “But this is for the safety of all our classmates, not just our own, I will do this.”
“Wh-”
A long tongue wrapped around Shinsou’s body, and Ochako quickly made him weightless. “What are you doing?”
The girls wisely said nothing.
“Do you really expect me to come out alive?” Shinsou squealed. It didn’t sound like he was using his quirk, but no one even blinked in his direction. If they went under now because Shinsou was being uncooperative, they would never be able to rescue Midoriya.
Or be rescued from Midoriya.
Who was currently slamming his little two kilogram body into the window, over and over. Luckily the window was shatterproof, as found out when Iida had accidentally ran into the same window at top speed a few weeks ago.
“Fine, let me go.” Shinsou accepted his fate. Tsuyu let him go, and Ochako tapped her fingers together. Shinsou cautiously stood, eyeing the little green menace.
“Little rabbit, are you hungry?”
Several things happened at once. Midoriya, seeming to somewhat recognize his classmate in a moment of clarity, chose to respond by running away. Kirishima, who probably knew nothing about the chaos unfolding downstairs, stepped out of the elevator. Midoriya, on a combination of a rampage fueled by panic, used his quirk just at the base of one jump.
Midoriya landed in Kirishima’s hair.
“Hey what the hell!” Kirishima yelped as his quirk activated, his head turning to that stone-like substance that helped protect so many lives. Midoriya’s long claws scraped across it as he tried to escape Kirishima’s hair, unsuccessfully looking for purchase on his forehead. He was hissing at the “reeds of blood!” and the “ropes of tendons!” that kept him trapped. More accurately, somehow Kirishima’s hair had gotten him tangled completely.
Midoriya was stuck in Kirishima’s hair.
“Kirishima! Grab him!” Ochako yelled.
“Huh?” Hero training abandoned the local himbo in his time of need. “Oh!”
His quirk acting like oven mitts, he grabbed Midoriya by the midsection and somehow pried him off of his scalp. Several strands of red hair clung to Midoryia’s front paws. A decent sized chunk was in his mouth. He let out a hiss that Kouda heard as a series of increasingly insulting words about Kirishima’s hair.
Kirishima, for his credit, just smiled. “Aww, it's a cute bunny! Hi little guy!”
He seemed to ignore that the bunny in question was trying to kill his hair, which he has deemed a “parasite upon the earth.” The bunny was also green, which was not a normal color for bunnies.
“Aren’t you just the cutest?” Kirishima tried to place a fat kiss on Midoriya’s forehead but only succeeded in getting a bite on the nose. “Haha, feisty bunny!”
Shinsou, who in the chaos had managed to slip away, returned with the pet carrier Aizawa used. “Quick! In the box!” He shouted as he slammed the carrier on the ground.
Kirishima placed him in the box after another attempted kiss. Midoriya swore to end his bloodline by eating his heart through his throat. Shinsou slammed the door shut.
Everyone, sans Kirishima, visibly relaxed.
“Holy crap.” Ochako finally said. “That was…”
“Interesting.” Tsuyu finished. “Ribbit.”
Ochako nodded.
Kouda signed an apology to Kirishima. Kirishima only sent a questioning look in response.
“Midoriya was turned into a rabbit.” Todoroki explained. “He doesn’t have human memories and is hellbent on making the sofa his bitch.”
He pointed to the sofa. Springs stuck out at odd angles and stuffing was spread almost evenly in a meter radius.
From inside the carrier, Midoriya sulked.
“That’s so manly!”
“Kirishima, I don’t think you’re using that word correctly. Ribbit.”
Kouda took the carrier from Shinsou and set it flat on the ground. Midoriya promised death and destruction. Kouda placed a blanket over the carrier.
Midoriya went silent. Only low bunny hisses that registered as murmurs of bodily harm escaped his little two kilo body.
“They feel more calm in hidden spaces,” Kouda explained. “We should move him to a quiet room later. For now, let him calm down.”
That was the moment Midoriya used his bunny-fueled rage to break the carrier door open and dart across the room before burying himself in the remains of the sofa again.
The downstairs was Midoriya’s territory now. Anytime an unlucky soul used the elevator or somehow got past the barricade on the stairwell they were met with a little green menace that scratched their arms and bit their fingers. Bakugou tried to make dinner and was now in Recovery Girl’s office, nursing a sprained ankle.
Mostly, Midoriya would sit. Occasionally, he would patrol the room like a guard dog, sniffing every object of interest with his cute little bunny nose and his ears twitched at each sound.
At least he wasn’t trying to break the windows again. Kouda considered that a win.
It was day two of the Bunzuku Incident. Kouda hardly got any sleep the night before because Midoriya’s rage filled mutters crept up through the vents and wandered the halls. His quirk gave him better hearing than most, so even high up on the third floor he could still hear everything. Everyone else probably heard it as cute clicking noises or hisses, but to Kouda it was a never-ending monologue about forcing his enemies to eat drywall.
He didn’t even know Midoriya had enemies.
He probably doesn’t (key word: Probably), but the quirk could be making him think all humans were bad. Especially if they manhandled him a few times and locked him in small carriers. Kouda could understand that. Abused dogs and neglected cats spoke of similar things, even when they were terrified. A defense mechanism.
It was still pretty funny to see everyone turn tail and run in the other direction when they saw the green fluff ball though.
Him and Kouda had reached a shaky peace. He opens the fridge door to give Midoriya ham, and Midoriya allows him to escort classmates in and out of the elevator, glaring and hissing at every student. Especially Kirishima.
He did not like Kirishima’s hair. Which was very strange, since he thought it was super cool when he was human.
“Little one, I promise we are not your enemies. But we will leave for a short time. When the sun almost sets, we will return.”
Class continues even if a fellow classmate is turned into a young rabbit. Iida was collecting homework and notes for him.
Midoriya just glares at him and stamps his little feet. Although he had severely mauled Bakugou a few hours before, it was still insanely cute.
“I will bring many pieces of ham.”
Midoriya relaxed, but stamped his little feet a few more times to get the point across that he was a higher being only allowing such lowly ants into his kingdom.
Kouda quickly waved over the group from the elevator. They practically ran out the door. Outside, Ochako was floating Tokoyami and Shinsou down from their balconies- They both refused to enter the first floor at all. Midoriya almost playfully nipped at Mina’s heels and hissed at Kirishima’s hair.
Kirishima looked brokenhearted at the cute little bunny that would not accept head scritches.
“Little one, we are-“
“You are not to disturb her.” Midoriya hissed. Kouda froze.
Eri, the youngest of UA’s wards, the one that clung to Mirio and Midoriya constantly, held Midoriya in her lap. The still-bunny Midoriya. The bunny Midoriya who earlier that day tried to tear the ceiling fan down and succeeded .
Training kicking in, Kouda scanned the girl for injuries. No visible blood, no bruising, no bite marks. Her hair was tied back neatly in two braids. She was asleep, one hand on Midoriya’s shoulders and the other limp on the sofa. A line of drool dripped from the corner of her mouth. Her horn was still long, implying that she had not activated her quirk in quite some time. The TV played a children's show with anthropomorphic animals.
“Little one,” He whispered. “What has transpired?”
Midoriya glared at Kouda. “It is disgusting. She touched me with her grubby paws.”
“Yes, she still is. Why have you not escaped?”
Midoriya was silent. Kouda smiled. “Did it feel nice, being petted? Being loved?”
Midoriya huffed. “I will end your bloodline.”
“Of course.”
When she awoke, Kouda let her feed Midoriya a slice of ham. She giggled when Midoriya ate it from the palm of her hand, tickling her with his whiskers. It sounded like bells.
When she eventually had to return to her own quarters, she placed a big fat kiss on top of Midoriya’s head. He only screeched a little.
He pawed the door viciously for a few minutes after she left. Then he began to patrol the room again, glaring at everything extra hard.
Kouda woke up to screaming, which was almost normal at this point.
His own bunny, Yuwai, gave him a look that conveyed just how annoyed she was at this entire situation.
“Let me go fight him!” Yuwai begged. “He’s so loud! I want to take a nap!”
“He’s quirked, little one.” Kouda sighed. “I do not wish for you to be injured. His strength is unmatched. He broke another student’s ankle.”
“So? I’ll still win!” She stamped her cute little feet in anger. “I’m quirked too! Let me at him!”
Kouda shook his head. “Under any other circumstances I would. But not him. I do not wish to see my two dear friends fight.”
Yuwai pouted, and jumped onto his bed as he got dressed for school. She chittered annoyed nothings as she made little bunny biscuits on his pillow.
“He should be quiet today anyway. He has a friend now.” Kouda commented.
Yuwai perked up. “Oh?”
“Eri-chan, the girl he saved. His memories are locked away, but she seems to be the only one that can tame him.”
“The horned human?” Yuwai cocked her head. “She’s so little. If you will let her fight him, why not me?”
Kouda giggled. He tightened his tie and reached down to give Bunny a scratch behind the ears. “Because she isn’t fighting.”
“Hmm,” She hummed. Kouda opened his fridge and got out a bag of fresh shredded lettuce and placed it in her bowl. “Okay, I won’t fight him.”
“Good.”
The moment Kouda left the building Yuwai started her plan of action.
Her quirk made easy work of the door, it smoothly falling away from its hinges and landing with a loud thud on the carpeted hallway. It was a bit louder than she expected, but that’s not important.
She had a mission!
To show that stupid bunny who’s boss!
She confidently binkied down the hallway and wiggled down the stairs. Each step was designed for human feet, about the same height as her. It took forever!
But she made it, eventually. Kouda’s classmates had made a barricade around the bottom stairs to prevent a little rabbit from reaching the upper floors.
A territorial bunny. She knew of their kind, but not closely. But she knew rules that every beast followed, just like Kouda did.
Instead of hopping over the barricade made of overturned furniture, she instead hopped directly on top of it before screeching at the top of her lungs.
“Hey! Loudmouth!”
A green head popped out of the remains of a sofa. “Fuck off! How dare you enter these halls, and gaze upon my domain!”
“You really don’t know how to act like a bunny, don’t you?” she chided. “Look, you can’t even make a proper burrow. How will you protect yourself like that?”
She scratched her ear with her hind leg, indicating that she was barely paying him any mind. The bunny clawed its way to the top of the sofa.
“Go away little rabbit. Before I make you.”
“I would like to see you try,” she taunted. “Considering you can’t even protect yourself, how will you protect your little Eri from danger?”
He pauses at that.
“Her name does not belong in your filthy mouth.”
“And you don’t understand the laws of this land. What makes us rabbits and what makes them humans. Us rabbits are small and weak, soft and squishy. Our claws are dull and our teeth blunt.” She hissed. “But that is what makes us better. We have the humans wrapped around our fingers, providing us with safety and care. They give us food and shelter and want nothing in return. That is OUR strength. Us rabbits take pride in that. We are better than humans, for they wage war and hurt each other and make laws and enforce plightless rules. And we are better, because we don’t do that.”
“Living on the backs of a system that is by itself oppressive is not the praise you should be preaching,” Deku hisses. “Humans hurt each other and make weapons to do so. They create such good things, and also such horrible things. They hurt us. They hurt themselves. They hurt their young. if you truly pride yourself on being better than them, then why are you complicit in the cycle of violence?”
“Because I can stop violence. How about you? You take that human young and you give her comfort. Is that not the same as me?”
“I can be the same as you, for I am rabbit too,” he scoffed. But he was a rabbit, so it came out as more like a sneeze. “But I will end the cycle of violence with my own two fists.”
“Rabbits don’t have fists, moron.”
“Little rabbit, I am getting very irritated with you.” Deku rolled his eyes. “And your master will not feed me ham tonight if I maul someone, so I suggest you get out of here before I figure out a creative way to remove you.”
“Ah, is that what you want?” Yuwai hopped down from the barricade.
“FOOLISH-“
“Calm down, you smelly hare,” she nipped at him as he attempted to charge into her side. “I’ll get you ham.”
She marched to the kitchen.
Deku curiously followed her. “You do not have thumbs.”
“So?”
“Humans have thumbs, which is why they can access ham.” Deku stomped. “Are you really a rabbit? Or have you suckled from the tit of humanity for so long that you’ve forgotten your origins?”
“Perhaps I have,” she huffed. “Perhaps not. But if you keep being mean to me, I won’t help you get ham.”
Deku stayed silent.
“Now,” Yuwai whirled around, claws scampering on the kitchen tile. “Before I give you ham, you have to agree to my rules.”
“As if any deal you can offer will have me respect it.” Deku scoffed. Once again, it just looked like a very cute sneeze. “I am surprised you even have the respect for our laws anyway, since you choose instead to partake in violence laying down by riding the back of the repressive human system.”
Repressive against what? Not putting enough clovers in people’s front yards? Not enough head scritches? Not allowing rabbits to poop in interesting places?
Actually, she can kind of agree with that.
“Alright, then I’ll add a clause in your favor. If I am unable to give you ham in the next, oh, few minutes or so, then you may request a boon from me.” She started. Deku rolled his eyes.
“Hey, even if I end up not giving you anything, you still get a bargain.”
Deku glowered. “Fine. What are your terms?”
“One! Stop shouting at all hours of night! Go to sleep, what’s wrong with you? Two!” she stamped her foot. “No attacking the humans that live in this building. Three! Be-“
“Two terms is enough!”
“Not with a boon involved! I get four! You’re lucky I only want three!”
Deku sulks. “You better be able to actually give me ham.”
“Three! Third and final! Try to be kinder and understand humans, like how you did with your Eri-chan!”
Deku glared. “That’s technically four.”
“Do you accept it or not?”
Deku grinned, a horrible face on anything in the rodent family but especially horrifying since he had bad breath. “Accepted! I want to see you try to open the food cabinet without thumbs!”
“Oh, it's quite easy really,” Yuwai put her paws on the hinge of the door, and headbutted it.
The fridge door broke off and fell to the ground with a loud clang. Deku jumped about ten feet in the air and stuck to the ceiling.
“Aw, did I scare you, smelly bunny?” She laughed. “Here, have your ham.”
She jumped into the fridge. Sparks flew from the wires she accidentally severed. Ham located, she bit down on the package and flung it into the kitchen.
“Now remember!” she called cheerfully as she jumped out of the kitchen. “Be nice, and go to sleep soon!”
“.. Thank you, human rabbit,” He mumbled.
“Oh? What was that?"
“I said fuck off, human pet!”
“No it waaaasn’t!” she sing-sang, leaping up the stairs.
Kouda stared at the overturned bunny, before looking at the mess he made of the refrigerator.
“Kouda what is- oh my god. Is he dead?“ Jirou peaked over his shoulder.
Midoriya laid on the kitchen tile, passed out. Completely dead to the world. His belly was exposed, his little bunny arms splayed over his head.
“No, look, he’s still breathing.” Shouto said from under Kouda’s armpit. “What happened to the fridge?”
“Did he rip the door from the hinges? Again?”
“But he’s a rabbit. He doesn’t have arms.”
“Is that even possible? He doesn’t have hands right now…”
“He IS still quirked. He’s like two kilos of murder machine. He could have probably done it.”
Kouda decided not to mention that Yuwai was quirked also. Her quirk allowed her to get into places she otherwise wouldn’t be able to get into. Looking at the cleanly cut wires on the fridge, he could recognize her handiwork. Pawiwork. He was going to have a word with her later.
“Little bunny,” he carefully poked Midoriya’s fluffy body with his foot. “Are you alright?”
“Look, the ham is completely gone,” Mina said, holding two empty packages of sandwich meat. “He’s in a food coma.”
“Oh my,” Ochako walked in, returning from her duties as an elevator. “Aw fuck, I had ice cream in there!”
“Hey, at least he’s actually peaceful for once,” Shouto pointed out. “We could try to put him in the carrier again.”
“No.”
When Izuku woke up, he was lying on his computer desk.
He groaned, clutching his head in his hands. His brain felt like it was put through a blender and then poured back in through his ears. And not in a fun way, in a horrible headache-y way.
And of course, because he was on his desk, he immediately lost his balance and hit the floor shoulder-first.
“Ow!"
He stared up at the ceiling. He put glow-in-the-dark stars up there when he first moved in. He had almost forgotten.
… He was also completely naked, for some reason. Getting up, clutching to his chair for support, he felt around for a pair of pants until he located some boxers and wiggled them on.
Why-
What?
Why did he dream that he ate an entire container of sandwich meat?
He looked for his phone to figure out what time it was- but it was nowhere in his room. The sun was high in the sky already- if he slept in this late without Iida or Kacchan waking him up, it must be a sunday.
He found a shirt and put it on, realized it was inside-out, and decided to keep it that way.
He drank an entire water bottle and immediately fell back asleep in his bed.
All of these problems are for later-Izuku. His head hurts too much right now to do anything else.
“Oh thank heavens,” Ochako sighed when Izuku walked in later that day, looking for dinner.”You’re human again.”
“Where’s the fridge door?”
“Iida’s disposing of it right now. Sorry, our ice cream melted. Todoroki is acting as a freezer for the rest of our stuff.”
“Uh,” Izuku looked over at the breakfast table where Shouto was, sure enough, taking a nap under a blanket of ziplock bags and Tupperware containers. “Believe it or not, that just makes me have more questions.”
“You got turned into a bunny for three days. You destroyed the sofa, gave Bakugou a sprained ankle, tore down a ceiling fan, destroyed the TV, and ate all of our ham.”
Izuku’s eyes widened. That explains why he felt like he had a hangover despite taking a pledge in 4th grade to never drink underage.
“Oh, so that’s why I had a weird dream about eating all the sandwich meat.”
“You seem rather calm about this, considering.”
Izuku shrugged. He pulled a gatorade from the Shoto-frigerator. “I mean, weirder things have happened. Kacchan and Kirishima got turned into a meat potato once. A bunny is more normal.”
He took a sip of his gatorade. “Hey wait, how did I rip off the fridge door? Bunnies don’t have hands?”