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Kanan could barely form a coherent thought through the haze of painkillers. They dulled the burning agony across his face, but his very mind was scatted in a thousand different directions.
He was lying down, with people moving around him. People he couldn’t see and voices he couldn’t make sense of.
And they were strapping his arms down.
Kanan jolted, sheer panic coursing through him so fast it outran his disjointed thoughts. Suddenly his mind was clear, memories flooding it frantically. The electricity coursing through him. Kallus’s fists slamming against his body. The Inquisitor forcing visions into his head of Ezra in pain, Ezra dying.
Not again.
No.
Not again.
The voices around him grew panicked. Frightened of something. Of –
Two small hands grabbed one of his. Kanan gasped, instinctively trying to pull away.
Then he felt it. Something brushing gently against his mind. A soothing presence that he knew, on the same level that he knew he needed oxygen to breathe.
Ezra.
Those were Ezra’s hands, clinging tightly to his. Ezra’s mind reaching out, trying to soothe his fear.
“It’s okay.” Ezra’s voice was steady and calm, a solid rock to hang onto in the current of pain and terror. “You’re in the medbay on Atollon. Try to remember.”
Remember.
The flash of red light. The triumphant, predatory look on Maul’s face before he attacked. The words that kept echoing relentlessly in his head—Ezra will be mine.
And then Ezra. Holding onto his arm as Vader tried to drag him away. Crying into his shoulder on the Phantom. Bandaging his face with trembling hands.
They’d gotten away.
They were safe.
Slowly, he twisted his hand in Ezra's grip until he could thread his fingers between the kid's. The fear that surrounded him—his or that of the people he’d nearly attacked he didn’t know—began to ebb away.
“They’re gonna put you under,” Ezra said softly. “You need to stay calm.”
Kanan felt Ezra’s hands tighten nervously around his as the straps were secured over his arms. The kid’s presence was like a beacon in the Force, reminding Kanan of where he really was.
There was a sharp prick in the crook of his elbow and suddenly everything began to go faint. The only thing that was still clear was Ezra’s presence, steady and gentle beside him.
“Ez… Ezra,” he gasped as everything faded. All at once he realized there was so much he wanted to say. Just in case he didn’t wake up. But everything was going dark too quickly, and he didn’t know if he was speaking out loud or not.
Thank you.
It’s not your fault.
I’m sorry.