Chapter Text
“Do you have everything you need? Water bottles, and.. oh!” Fuyumi scattered around the living room, looking around for something that Shoto was too disinterested about to help her find. “Do you need lunch money? I think I already packed you breakfast and lunch, right? Let me give you a ride!“
Shoto quietly sighed out to himself, a glum, downhearted exhale with a quiet, but audible utter. “I’m fine, Fuyumi.” He knelt down to tie his shoe.
She’d already woken him up too early for his first day of a high school he didn’t even want to go to, and to be frank, she was just so much more roused than he was about this, and it was annoying. Considering she wasn’t the one going. She even stood in the bathroom with him while he was brushing his teeth, attempting to tame his messy bed hair, and talk to him about how things could go, and how excited she was for him.
“I’m really proud you got in, Shoto,” She said as she stood behind him in front of the mirror, raking a comb through the left side of his hair with extensive care. “You know how hard of a school that is to get into.”
But he hadn’t even tried. He had a strong hunch that she was just playing dumb because he knew too well that the only reason he did get into this stupid school was because of his dad, and because of how well known his family was. Without that essay, ut wouldn’t have happened.
In the end he lied, and told her that he had to use the bathroom in order to get her to leave without being too mean about it. It surprisingly worked, and she left without question, right after telling him not to take too long.
Though It seemed now, she finally stopped trying to ignore Shoto’s bitter attitude towards everything. She must’ve realized that attempting to be all cheerful and energetic at six o’clock in the morning was only bound to irritate the morose teen even more. She let out a breath, and knelt down next to Shoto, her gaze softening as she started to speak in a calm, leveled voice. One that Shoto imagined would probably when talking to one of her grouchy first graders.
“I’m sorry about last night, Shoto. I really am, and I know—“
“Don’t mention it, Fuyumi, this is normal now,” Shoto started, standing up on his feet once he finished tying his shoes. He was quick to cut off the conversation because he knew exactly what she was going to mention, and he really did not want to talk about that. At least not this early in the morning. “Don’t apologize if you know you can’t do anything to stop it.”
“Shoto, I—“
Shoto reached for his bag, which was only a few feet away from him on the coat rack near the front door. He didn’t care enough to actually check and see if he had everything he needed for school, but he was sure he did, thanks to his sister. “I should go, before I’m late. Thanks, Fuyumi.”
“Oh.. I-I love you!—“
But Shoto was already out of the door by the time those three words were said. He did hear her, loud and clear, and he could have easily went back inside and returned those words without wasting really any time. A simple, “I love you too.” would have only taken five seconds, but he didn’t care enough to. He knew it was awful, not properly saying goodbye to his sister, the one person who really tried to help him out in that hell of a home. The only person who really cared much about him now, aside from his brother, but he rarely visited, likely due to the man he called a father. Acting like that towards the person who was basically his caretaker was terrible, and anyone else would have felt poorly about it. But Shoto couldn’t bring himself to feel bad about anything anymore. He stopped caring so long ago.
He’d been walking for almost an hour and started to wish he said yes when Fuyumi asked to give him a ride. He was sure he was lost, and since his phone had failed to charge while he was asleep, he had no way of knowing where to go. He started to contemplate going back home before it was too late. Lots of people skip first days, or so he thought. It wasn’t just him.
Yeah, he’d just skip today. The first days of high school weren’t too important anyway, it was the same as middle school. Just stupid introductions and stupid classrooms filled with stupid people.
He started to turn around, but just as he did, someone rammed head first into his shoulder, hard, almost knocking Todoroki down. A pain on his shoulder intensified from an earlier bruise that formed there this morning, and he wondered how badly someone wasn’t paying attention to bump him that hard. He didn’t fall over and managed to stand his ground, only taking a step back to stabilize himself again. But, on the other hand…
Shoto looked down at the boy on the ground, who seemed to have fallen on his bottom pretty hard. His immediate first instinct was to tell him to watch where he was going, having his feelings of grouchiness double by this interaction. But, instead of opening his mouth to tell this person off, he felt words get caught up in a trap inside of his throat, and he found himself rooted to the ground, unable to say anything at all.
As soon as the boy looked up at Todoroki, the look of utter disbelief was returned right back to him. They both seemed frozen in shock as all of the memories from that night flooded back to them. Or, to Shoto. Between all the anxiety that rushed him at that moment, he was able to find that familiar feeling of relief as he stared into those eyes, feeling time stop.
But… how?
I… saw him…
Izuku hastily got up on his own, almost in a somewhat panicked manner. When Shoto blinked, that look of surprise was gone, replaced with something of smile, though it quivered as he tried to make it look convincing.
The green haired teen bowed his head unnecessarily low, squeezing his eyes shut as he a spat out a bunch of words and mumbles that didn’t take too long for Shoto to realize were apologies. “I’m so- I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to bump into you,” His voice shook. He stood back up straight, that same nervous, trembling smile from seconds before right back on his lips. “I’m really sorry.”
Shoto wanted to say something to him, something more than just a plain, “it’s fine,” but what could he say? Did he even have a right to speak to Izuku right now? Maybe he should have been the one apologizing for making Izuku fall. No, not just that, apologizing for everything that he just watched Izuku go through, everything that he failed to help him with, for just… leaving.
Stupid Shoto. Stupid, stupid Shoto.
Now he struggled to find the right words to say. He just stood there like an idiot, staring at him, like he was some fragile little toy that would break easily if touched in the wrong way.
“You’re bleeding.” He quickly pointed out. Partly because he needed something, anything to say in this moment. Anything other than just staring him down like that, and, well, also because Izuku was actually bleeding. He’d scraped his palms on the concrete and Shoto could see the blood on his hands from where he stood. It looked like a pretty nice scrape. He’d fallen hard, and Shoto still hadn’t even apologized for knocking him down yet.
The smile on his face slowly faded into a confused frown, before he looked down at his hand and lightly gasped.
“Oh, I am. That’s- That’s fine, I’ll just—“ He held his hands up, they were at the height of his chest, palms up so blood wouldn’t drip down onto his fingertips while he looked around for something to use for help, but they were outside, and there weren’t any cafes or other convenience stores around. No place that could have possibly encompassed napkins, or any other aid items the boy could use for his injury. Just houses.
“I’ll clean it off when—“ he paused, dropped his shoulders slightly, and let out a tired sigh. “If, I get to school.”
He acted so different. It shouldn’t have been weird, but he spoke to Shoto so normally, like the events from one year ago never actually happened.
Like disappearing completely after jumping off of a building was just normal.
He sounded the exact same, too. Shoto couldn’t picture a difference, which scared him so much more.
Shoto had no idea he was even alive until now. For months Shoto assumed he was dead. After everything that happened, he never even attended the next year. His name was never called.
But at the time, no one mentioned anything about it. It was like only Shoto knew. No one spoke of him again, like he never existed to begin with. Yet, Izuku was here. looking completely unharmed, even though it had only been a year. His hair was longer, but his face held no marks or old injuries. He acted normal, even towards Shoto.
Nothing seemed to change.
“Okay.” He simply replied.
There was a small silence and Shoto almost took a step forward to leave, before he was asked, “Where are you headed?”
He stopped himself. Wondering why he wanted to know.
“I don’t know.”
And that was his accurate answer. Todoroki really didn’t know where he was going. He planned on going home, but now, after seeing Izuku again, he didn’t know what he was doing anymore. Or what he was feeling, because whatever it was wasn’t very familiar.
“Well, um… it’s my first day at Wood Creek Academy but I’m pretty sure I won’t make it in time… I have don’t know where this place is and- I see you’re wearing the uniform too.”
Shoto froze, once again, when Izuku unzipped his own jacket to show off the uniform under it. It was the same one that Shoto was wearing, just a few sizes smaller. A burgundy blazer, with a small black pocket sewed onto the chest that included the letter, “W” on it. Black buttons stitched in the middle, with a sloppily tied burgundy and black tie. That dreading feeling inside of Todoroki started taking over again. Wood Creek was the school he was going to. They were going to the same school, as if things couldn’t get any worse.
“That’s… nice.” Shoto said, stopping the quiver that threatened to escape with those words as he walked past Izuku and back towards the way he came without another word. This was a big problem. He was definitely going to change schools now.
As he was walking away and yelling at himself in his head, he started to hear footsteps behind him, following him and knew he wasn’t imagining it. Why was he shadowing him? What did he want?
Shoto stopped abruptly and turned around quickly, a bit more upset now and this time, not really caring to hide it. Izuku also stopped quickly, before he could bump into the other again. “What?” The irritation in his voice was obvious.
“Sorry, it’s just— um, I’m sorry, I genuinely have no idea where I’m going and I just—“
“I’m not going to the school.”
“But you’re wearing— nevermind, okay, do you know where the school is from here?”
Shoto glared at the scrawny boy in front of him, debating on whether or not he should intentionally yell at him to keep him away, make him never even want to talk to Todoroki again for the sake of Todoroki’s own sanity, and just because Izuku deserved so much better, or just walk away and show him that he wasn’t interested in further conversation. He didn’t do either though. He couldn’t bring himself to, afraid of being too hurtful. The one time he cared. Instead, he made the impassiveness known easily not only within his attitude, but also in his tone. “No, I don’t.”
A look flashed on Izuku’s face, a look that held lots of emotions, it seemed like to Shoto, but he couldn’t tell what either of those were. The expression faded as fast as it came, and was replaced with another smile, but Shoto saw through it. He might’ve actually irked Izuku.
“I’m sorry for wasting your time.” Izuku conceded softly, bowing once more. He lifted himself back up, and turned away, clutching the straps of his backpack so tightly that he could still feel his fingernails poking at his already burning palms through the fabric of the backpack.
As Shoto watched him go, he almost felt bad enough to stop him, and at least try to help him. But why would he? He genuinely didn’t know where the school was and couldn’t help Izuku with anything. He shouldn’t feel bad, why would he now? Why would he even think about helping that poor boy when he had 3 whole years to do so
...But, the idea of Shoto being one of Izuku’s last reasons haunted him. What if Midoriya actually wasn’t better, and one day, he’s gone again, for good. Shoto would know that it isn’t anyone’s fault aside from his. Shoto was a terrible person, but he didn’t want—
“No.” He muttered to himself. He couldn’t think about that. They both had problems to deal with on their own, and Shoto surely didn’t need anyone else’s on his plate. He turned around, continuing his path back home. Fuyumi had probably gone off to work, his— father… was definitely out too, and would probably be out for a while. He could make it. First days weren’t important, and after this unexpected reunion, he definitely didn’t want to go anymore. He’d talk to Fuyumi about switching schools later. He didn’t care if Wood Creek was the best school in their city, they were just schools, and were all shitty anyway.
Yeah. This was fine. He’d never actually skipped school like this, he’d always been too afraid. Yet, no ounce of fear flowed through him. He felt nothing. He calmed himself down easily, and this was better than feeling any type of guilt, or sadness, or pity over one stupid boy. He’d rather feel nothing at all.