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Night is when sinister creatures are most likely to cause disturbances.
Yakshas do sleep. They even dream. Though, the dream of a Yaksha is something way different from humans. The never-ending battle requires the Guardian Yaksha to always keep his guard, always ready to face the demons and most importantly – to not let them take over control. When something woke him up, Xiao had to be ready to parry a hit. When he was resting, he had to remain vigilant. There was no place and no realm that would allow him to be sure the demons binded to his soul would let him take a breath. There was no time he could stop expecting the wave of excruciating pain and the sight of his very own self covered with hatred, anger, and malevolence.
The border between reality and the dreams were blurry for him. Sometimes - Xiao didn’t know he was asleep. Sometimes - he doubted whether he was awake.
When he woke up in Liyue Harbour, the voices of the two herbalists grounded him, making him feel that this time, after dozens of nightmares, he was awake.
Though, for how long would it last?
When he walked the bright, crowded street, his body almost cried of weariness. His vision went blurry, and all his thoughts reduced to the urge to move. He didn’t have energy to flee, and so he let the alarmed human lead him to the side and make him sit on a crate. He instinctively accepted the warm food placed in his cold palms by the little girl. He was glad the mask she carried before were nowhere around. The shadow watched him from any direction Xiao turned his eyes to.
Lucky were humans to be unaware of why Xiao’s hands were trembling, why was he suddenly shifting every time he opened his eyes. Why he only shook his head and didn’t tell what was happening to him. After all, it was not their karma. It was not their fate to purge the evil or succumb to it.
“Thank you.” – That’s all he said. And then, he disappeared right in front of the surprised humans.
The shadow followed him everywhere. He was there in his dreams, he went to the city, and lurked somewhere in the corners of his eyes once Xiao stood on the highest balcony of Wangshuu Inn, waiting for his vision to stop being so blurry.
“Well, hello there! Care to join me for a drink on this fine evening?”
Now, it worked like washing his face with cold stream water. Xiao couldn’t help the surprise painting on his face. It didn't last long though; the person before him was gesticulating so vividly – it made Xiao feel like either him or the world around started to spin.
He had to rest.
He had to rest.
***
Before Xiao entered the room, he stopped. Venti was patient; he knew how much struggle it takes for this Adeptus to speak his mind when it came to personal matters. He could observe Xiao’s profile; his gentle features now pale and tensed, and those beautiful eyes, always confessing to him every emotion their owner kept to himself, now struggling to remain open. Xiao took a deep breath, hesitated, closed his lips, and repeated it another time, before he finally spoke his name out loud.
“...Venti.”
“Mm-hm?~”
He always sounded like this name had to travel a long way between the meanders of his mind. Like it was a delicate spell, speaking which meant crossing a line after which he had to finish his thought. Maybe that’s why Xiao always spoke the name before he would tell what was bothering him – and knowing that, Venti dangled his legs from his spot, and he waited.
“The humans… They are so bright. Their eyes – full of life, of curiosity. The children… Why do they approach me, why are they not scared of me? Are they that blind?”
“Obscured light is still a light, my valiant warrior.”
Xiao’s eyes widened. His face turned from Venti’s view; yet the Archon knew well that it was not yet the time to act. He watched Xiao’s hands rising to the face, the fingers brushing through the hair, squeezing it between fingers. Xiao hissed and leaned on the door’s frame. Yet, he didn’t cry. He tamed his emotions another time, and how much it pained Venti to witness it, he knew that losing control would make things worse.
He placed his feet on the wooden floor. Passing by Xiao, he added:
“And how strong must the light glow for blind mortals to see it between the shadows.”
Venti knew that however much Xiao avoided calling for him, he wouldn’t want him to go. Xiao laid on bed and looked at the ceiling with one hand on his forehead. His eyes struggled to remain open, but opened wide once he tried to fall asleep.
When he broke the silence, his voice was only a little louder than his thoughts; he knew Venti was there, waiting, but he also knew Venti would never demand a word from him.
God of Freedom never demanded.
“The anger of the demons is tremendous this time”
“The nightmare repeating itself without a break. I woke up, and fought; woke up, fought; woke up, fought… And the mask was on my face. Then again, I opened my eyes and he stood before me…”
Venti started to humm a soothing melody. It was even more silent than Xiao’s voice, but still the sound was firm and assuring. The melody was mostly for his Yaksha, but Venti too needed it at that moment. Xiao never described his nightmares – even speaking it out loud, he spared any details – and yet, it saddened Venti to listen to it; to catch a glimpse of how it could look for Xiao and to see how normal it all was for him. He couldn’t stand his aching heart in silence, but he wanted to listen to it all nonetheless.
“I know, it will never end. This is my burden to carry. This is the price I am willing to pay.”
“But today, I…”
The unspoken wish.
Venti, very solemnly, took Xiao’s forearm and placed it along his torso. He noted how much the Adeptus trusted him, letting him touch as he pleased, and surrendered to whatever he was doing. He didn’t notice how much Xiao was trembling all this time out of pure exhaustion. His eyes were opening less and less. Venti cupped his cold cheeks in his hands. His thumb tracked the line of Xiao’s lips, warming them, gently brushing off the tension. Xiao leaned his head into this gentle hold, his eyes not daring to open now. Was he afraid of what he would see looking at Venti? Archon’s heart skipped a bit. He never wished to see Xiao’s eyes looking at him like he were another nightmare. He sat there, still soothing Adeptus to sleep until the shivering ended, and his breath steadied.
A tear fell from Venti’s cheek. He wiped his face against his arm to not let go of the sleeping one just for a little longer. Then, he stopped his song. He leaned and pressed his lips on the forehead, indulging into the touch before he slowly let Xiao’s head rest on the cushion.
He summoned his flute.
Tonight I will guard your dreams. I will find the faintest light in the winds of your past and bring it here for you.
May the battlefield in your soul be silent for a little longer.
And should you face the darkness, hear my song following you, my brightest light of the night.