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In all honesty, Kaveh had no idea what he was doing in Basement 3; he was an artist for archon’s sake. Not an escort. Not a drug dealer. Not whatever other shady occupation existed in this hellhole. An artist.
Yet for some inexplicable reason, he was delegated to only being able to work in Basement 3 – the red light district of the marketplace, simply because the government deemed art and all of its facets 'unnecessary’.
What a load of horseshit. Not only did he have the amazing luck of living in an apocalyptic world, he also had to deal with the idiotic whims of people who had no business regulating what he could or could not do.
Kaveh let out a long sigh, filled to the brink with exhaustion. His eyes caught the eviction notice taped to his door again and then drifted over to the table in front of him covered in bills. It seemed that everywhere his gaze went, he couldn’t escape the oppressive force of his complicated financial situation.
His cramped studio could barely hold on any longer, with its outdated wallpaper crumbling apart, the multiple water leaks, and the wood floor that is quite literally rotting. Not that he would even be able to afford living here any longer. He could barely afford to eat everyday, much less pay rent.
He tore off the eviction notice from the wall and tore it apart viciously, as if it had done something to personally offend him which it might as well have with its obnoxious red lettering. Kaveh threw the shreds against the door as hard as he could; it fluttered slowly to the ground, spread out, like leaves being carried in a slight breeze.
Kaveh stared at the ground for a few tense seconds, and then exhaled slowly as his shoulders slumped — the fight draining from his tired body.
Kaveh’s quaint studio was located on the very outskirts of the third floor. Contrary to popular sentiment, Basement 3 mostly consisted of craftsmen and artisans who were just trying to sell their wares. The main street is where the prostitution and drug ring came in. The area was permanently hazy with smoke, and the little light that it had were from single, yellow lamps dotted across the street with no rhyme or reason, swallowing most of the area in darkness. In many ways, the layout was the same as on the surface, shops were lined out on a single pathway but everything here seemed so much dirtier.
Being on the outskirts meant that he didn’t get as much business, but being as far away from the main street was a good thing in his opinion. Most of his commissions came from word of mouth and referrals anyway.
He was working on his latest commision — a painting of a client’s loved one who died in judgment — when he glanced over at the clock. Twenty minutes before midnight.
His stomach growled, right on time, to remind him that he hadn’t eaten anything all day. Usually he would ignore the pangs of hunger, but the call could no longer be refused. He needed food if he didn’t want to pass out in the next few hours.
He locked up his studio as securely as he could and walked to a food stall. He purchased some suspicious-looking food and sat down on a plastic chair next to it. The food tasted…not good, but it was cheap and convenient. It beat not having any sustenance at all and passing out – he learned that the hard way.
He was mid slurp when his gaze met a familiar pair of striking teal eyes. A pair of eyes that once-, no, still haunted his dreams almost every single night. The eyes widened marginally as if it were surprised and confused.
A figure loomed over the table where Kaveh was sitting. Hesitantly, he put the bowl down, eyes never once leaving the man in front of him.
Even after all these years, Alhaitham was as captivating as ever.
“What are you doing here.” It was not a question—it was a demand. Most people by now would be quaking in their boots by his overwhelming presence, but Kaveh had years of exposure under his belt.
“You’re one of the smartest men in the world.” Kaveh shrugged dismissively, going back to slurp his noodles again. “Why do you think I’m here?”
At Alhaitham’s silence, Kaveh glanced up again only to be met with Alhaitham’s stormy expression. Kaveh raised an elegant eyebrow. For all the years he’s know Alhaitham, he never knew he had more facial expressions other than wry amusement and completely deadpan.
“Why are you here?” Kaveh asked suspiciously. “No man would come here unless he had…ulterior motives.” Kaveh narrowed his eyes, studying Alhaitham.
“Who would’ve known that this is what the renowned Alhaitham of Haravatat gets up to in his free time.” Kaveh laughed, slapping Alhaitham’s back good-heartedly. He still sported the stormy expression, his eyes roving over Kaveh’s body like he was a rune that needed to be deciphered.
“ This is what the renowned Light of Kshahrewar does for a living?” Kaveh expected it to be snarky, smug, all high and mighty like subtly saying ‘ I succeeded and you didn’t, haha’ in his own Alhaitham way. Instead it came out disheartened.
Somehow, even after all this time, Alhaitham knew exactly how to rile Kaveh up. The thrum of his veins and the pounding of his heart whenever he and Alhaitham came to blows was a familiar feeling. His skin set on fire wherever Alhaitham’s glacial eyes landed.
“Hm! If you knew me at all, you’d know that this is exactly where I’d be! Everyone and their mother knew that I’d probably end up on the streets.” Kaveh crossed his arms and looked away with an indignant huff. The old frustration at the ideological differences between him and the sages of the Akademiya was dredged up again. Kaveh closed his eyes and counted to five in order to keep himself level-headed. He wasn’t the fresh faced student anymore, he needed to act accordingly.
“I didn’t think you’d end up here…,” Alhaitham murmured, cradling his chin with his hand, thinkly deeply about it as if there was something to think deeply about.
“I don’t need your pity.” Kaveh scoffed, preparing to walk away. He had heard enough from his other peers: about how he had so much wasted potential and how much of a disappointment he was. He certainly didn’t need to hear the same spiel from Alhaitham. Kaveh winced, the resounding pang in his chest hurt.
“Wait,” Alhaitham said quickly, grabbing Kaveh’s wrist so he couldn’t walk away. “You misunderstand.”
If this were the Kaveh of ten years ago, he probably would’ve spat in Alhaitham’s face and hightailed it out of here. But this was the Kaveh of today, more tolerant and more understanding. Or at least, that’s what he’d like to believe.
“Okay.” Kaveh turned back around and crossed his arms. Alhaitham took it as a signal to speak.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel as if you could’ve done better. The you that I know would have stopped at nothing to pursue his dreams.” Alhaitham explained slowly with drawn out vowels. Kaveh resisted the urge to roll his eyes, then realizing that this was Alhaitham in front of him, he let his eyes roll full force.
“Must you look down on me so blatantly? At least do it behind my back like everyone else.” Kaveh spit out, venom dripping from every word. He ground his teeth together in an attempt to keep all the insults he had at bay. Making an enemy out of another important person at the Akademiya didn’t seem like the brightest idea, no matter how long Kaveh’s known Alhaitham.
“Once again, you misunderstand. Has your time away from the Akademiya impaired your thinking that much?” Alhaitham crossed his arms which bulged and flexed as he moved. Kaveh couldn’t help but follow the movement. He shook his head to remove all impure thoughts.
“How could I misunderstand something when you’re not saying anything ?” Kaveh exhaled slowly, his shoulders slumping in defeat as he massaged the spot between his eyebrows. “Whatever, I need to get back to work.”
“Let me come with.” Alhaitham responded immediately, following right behind Kaveh who refused to look back.
He thought that if he walked long enough, he'd be able to lose Alhaitham, or rather, the more likely scenario being that Alhaitham would get bored and leave Kaveh alone willingly. Alas, the Scribe not only kept following Kaveh, he also managed to follow him all the way back to his studio. A little huff of amusement escaped his lips; Alhaitham was just as stubborn and bull-headed as he remembered.
Kaveh had a hand on his doorknob when he finally turned around. “Are you planning on following me inside too?” He said with a raised eyebrow. Kaveh only sighed again when Alhaitham nodded and relented.
“Welcome to my life’s work.” Kaveh said as he led Alhaitham into the dingy studio. Alhaitham’s successive silence told Kaveh all he needed to know about how the man felt about Kaveh’s destitution.
Not even a sarcastic jab, he must feel pity for me. Kaveh stretched out his lower back, groaning when it gave a few welcoming pops. He sent a furtive glance at Alhaitham who continued to stare at Kaveh’s paintings.
“What do you think?” Kaveh asked, feelings of insecurity popping up out of nowhere. “It’s not much, I know.”
“I can see how much soul you’ve put into every one of these.” Alhaitham simply said. A smile crept onto Kaveh’s face at his subtle compliment, his body growing warmer and the blood rushing through his veins growing louder.
“One day,” He found himself saying, “I would like to build a monument commemorating all those who’ve dedicated their lives to preserve humanity.” Kaveh didn’t know why he was saying this, and to Alhaitham of all people, but he couldn’t stop his mouth from running.
“I guess you’re included in that group of people.” Kaveh looked away, unwilling or afraid of what he would see on Alhaitham’s face. Surely he would laugh at Kaveh, calling out the impracticality of such a thing. After all, the only thing anyone needed is food, water and shelter. There was no place in this world for art. No room for compassion or empathy, it was a dog eat dog world.
“Why not include yourself?” Alhaitham asked. Kaveh furrowed his eyebrows in disbelief.
“I left the Akademiya and now all I do is make art. They’ve certainly contributed more to society than me.” Kaveh gave a half-hearted shrug and began tidying his workspace, if only to give his hands something to do and to distract himself from the eyes glued on his back.
“It is quite…jarring, to hear you speak so lowly of yourself,” Alhaitham said, turning to face one of the art pieces and tracing the ridges of the dried paint strokes. If Kaveh was delusional enough, he would’ve thought Alhaitham looked slightly shy but this was Alhaitham, so he quickly erased the thought.
“And why do you care? Last I heard, you were one of the bastards that supported my expulsion from the Akademiya.” Kaveh scoffed, holding his brushes a bit too tight for his comfort. “Perhaps you should be grateful that I’ve been humbled. Are you happy now, seeing my fall from grace?”
Kaveh could not stop the biting words from coming out of his mouth. He was wrong when he thought that he had already moved on from the incident. Alhaitham’s presence only confirmed that. Kaveh sighed deeply, shoulders slumping into himself, making his presence as small as possible — a habit he had to learn to remain as inconspicuous as possible.
He hugged his precious brushes closer to his chest and eyed Alhaitham wearily, as if at any moment, Alhaitham would lunge to take his passion, his dream, away from him. Alhaitham’s expression only grew more pained and remorseful. Kaveh convinced himself that it was only pity.
Silence grew between them as the two men occupied the same room, yet felt as though the other was miles away. When Kaveh met Alhaitham’s eyes, sometimes the other would open his mouth almost beginning to speak, when suddenly he would close it, pressing his lips into a thin line.
In all the time Kaveh had known Alhaitham, he was not a man that held back his words, no matter how vicious or sharp. Much like how Kaveh had changed during their time apart, it seemed that Alhaitham had too. Kaveh didn’t know if he liked the change.
“I’ve missed you.” A quiet voice spoke in the midst of the drowning silence. Kaveh stopped what he was doing and set his utensils down as slow as possible, delaying the eventual inevitability of having to face his problem head on.
Alhaitham’s eyes shone with grief, but grief for what? Was he grieving Kaveh who was still alive? Or was he grieving the person Kaveh should have been, the person he could have been? Kaveh stared him down and Alhaitham stared back defiantly.
“Haitham, please.” Kaveh said desperately, taking a step back as Alhaitham took a step forward.
“My world is empty and aching without you by my side.” Alhaitham was a hair’s breadth away from Kaveh. If Kaveh leaned a bit forward, he’d be able to capture the sweetness of his lips again and the captured nostalgia of their youth.
“I remember. Do you?” Alhaitham asked. He slowly, as if trying to get close to a wounded animal, ran his hands through Kaveh’s hair, grabbing a lock of it, before kissing it gently. Kaveh’s vision swam and his legs began to tremble with the weight of Alhaitham’s unsaid words.
So Kaveh did what he does best. He ran away.
Two students of the Akademiya sat under a large tree that gave them adequate shading from the sun. The grey-haired man laid on the blond one’s lap, completely dead to the world. The blond one hummed a nonchalant tune that he made up on the spot while working on his sketches.
“I love you.” Kaveh said all of a sudden, forgoing his sketches in favor of focusing all his attention to Alhaitham.
“I know,” Alhaitham said with a small smile. Kaveh played with his junior’s hands in fascination. He returned it with a grin and ran his hands through Alhaitham’s hair.
“It's okay, I'll say it enough times for the both of us.” Alhaitham gave him a grateful look and Kaveh dove down to capture his lips.
Kaveh was outside, finally out of the stuffy basement, being greeted by the moonlit sky. The air was cool against his damp skin and the breeze brought the scent of fresh morning dew with it. He took in a long breath and exhaled slowly. The sky was still dark. The streets were empty and completely devoid of people.
He walked around aimlessly, with no direction or reason, until he reached a spot that overlooked most of the city and allowed a clear view of the stars. Alhaitham wouldn’t be able to find him here. But a small, traitorous part of him wanted Alhaitham to find him.
Kaveh sat down on the grass with a huff, twirling a piece of grass between his fingers absentmindedly. His mind was racing, too many trains of thought at once, too many emotions whirling through him. He placed the heel of his palm on his forehead and began massaging it in.
After what felt like hours, which in reality was probably only a few minutes, Kaveh heard quick footsteps behind him.
“You found me.” He said, still playing with that piece of grass which had long stained the tips of his fingers green. Kaveh didn’t turn around, but he knew who it was by his presence alone.
“I did.” Alhaitham replied simply.
A wave of silence passed, both men unsure of where the waters lie.
“I heard you’re getting evicted.” Alhaitham said, breaking the silence. Kaveh scowled, getting up and finally turning around to face the one person he could not leave in the past.
“What, here to laugh at me?”
“No,” Alhaitham replied immediately with zero hesitation. “I have an empty guest room.”
“I don’t need your pity.” Kaveh seethed, backing away from Alhaitham. “I won’t let you use me as a tool to get rid of your own guilt.”
Alhaitham stayed quiet. His arms were dropped haphazardly to his side and his hair was messy. The eyes that Kaveh still loved so dearly held as much grief as a man on his death bed with no loved ones to accompany him as the light fades. Kaveh clenched his fists to prevent himself from punching him.
“How dare you?” He marched up to Alhaitham and clutched his arms desperately, like it was the only thing grounding him. “You did this to me, why are you feeling guilty about it?!” He trembled and his grip on Alhaitham’s arms tightened, his nails digging into his skin hard enough to draw blood.
“Breathe, Kaveh.” Alhaitham muttered softly, pulling Kaveh’s hands away from his biceps, holding Kaveh’s hands in his as the blond’s trembling lessened. Alhaitham rubbed tiny circles on the back of Kaveh’s palms. Kaveh squeezed Alhaitham’s hands and pulled them closer to his chest, like an anchor.
“I’m sorry,” Kaveh laughed wetly, finding the situation ridiculous. Here he was finding comfort in a man he was supposed to hate, how absurd. “I did this to myself. I ruined me.”
“You are not ruined, far from it.” Alhaitham furrowed his eyebrows, looking inexplicably offended as if Kaveh had insulted him. They were so close, Kaveh could feel the warmth radiating from Alhaitham’s body and the flutter of breaths against his face.
“Liar.” Kaveh murmured, his forehead touching Alhaitham’s. From this distance, he could see how long Alhaitham’s eyelashes were and how pretty those watercolor eyes were. Alhaitham was a work of art in it of himself, perhaps that was why Kaveh was so drawn to him.
“Stay with me. You’ll see then.” Kaveh sighed and closed his eyes.
“You’ve already betrayed me once, who says you won’t betray me a second time?” Kaveh whispered. He could feel Alhaitham’s breath stutter against his lips and he pulled away, fear suddenly overtaking him. When he opened his eyes, he met Alhaitham’s open gaze.
“I do.”
“What?”
“ I say I won’t betray you again.” Alhaitham’s honest eyes compelled Kaveh to avert his gaze.
“You know me — rational, logical, pragmatic — I don't usually do things I regret, but as always, you’re the exception.” Alhaitham chuckled fondly, breaking his hand away from the grip Kaveh had on it to prop his chin up, leaving him no choice but to meet Alhaitham’s eyes. “I’ve never regretted anything in my life except letting you go.”
Alhaitham gestured for Kaveh to sit down, giving Kaveh some time to let those words truly sink in and thank archons for that — Kaveh felt like his brain was malfunctioning. A part of him still couldn’t believe it, but Alhaitham wasn’t the type of person to joke around like that. Surely he wouldn’t be that cruel.
“I could have chosen to save the world,” Kaveh scoffed, bringing his knees up to his chin with arms circling around his legs as if making himself smaller would make the world a lot less bigger. “But I was selfish. And I chose to follow my dreams instead.” Kaveh let out a wet laugh filled with a bitter self-pity.
“And look where that got me.” He gestured to himself; Alhaitham looked upon him with his calculating eyes and Kaveh shivered involuntarily. His chest burned with something as Alhaitham looked at him. Those multi-colored eyes seemed to pierce right through him. Was it embarrassment? Was it ridicule? Kaveh didn’t know.
He knew that whatever walls he tried to put up to protect himself, Alhaitham would simply knock them down.
“Who says I’m not selfish too?” Alhaitham said, crouching down to meet Kaveh at eye level. His face was as impassive as always. “Who says I'm not chasing my dream right now?”
Kaveh’s eyes widened, and then narrowed because how could the infamous Scribe of the Akademiya have dreams like the common folk? The one that was more machine than man. The one who fully operated on logic and rationality. The one that gazed at the world with disinterest, as if it were beneath him.
“What dream?” Kaveh’s voice came out as barely a whisper, he was surprised Alhaitham even heard him.
Alhaitham said nothing, he simply stood up fully and offered Kaveh his hand. “Come.” He said, with a slight, cheeky smile on his face. And how could Kaveh ever refuse?
Hesitantly, Kaveh placed his hand in the scribe’s outstretched hand. Heat blossomed where their skin met and a simmering warmth trickled down Kaveh’s body. It was a searing heat, yet Kaveh could not, would not, pull away even if it burned him. Alhaitham, in a soft gentleness that is not at all in character, gave Kaveh’s hand a light squeeze.
Kaveh reluctantly lifted his head up, anticipation and dread building as he met those eyes. Alhaitham did not look like the scholar everyone knew. He did not have the coldness, the indifference that classified the Scribe’s character. This was not Alhaitham, the Akademiya’s genius Scribe. This was Alhaitham, the boy that Kaveh met many years ago who still held that childlike wonder.
The tips of Alhaitham’s lips were curled up ever so slightly, so minutely that one would not catch it unless they were mere inches from his face. The slight crinkles at the edge of his eyes were a sign of how much time had passed since Kaveh last saw him, but it didn’t take away from his beauty, it only added to it. Studying the man in front of him, Kaveh would almost assume that Alhaitham had been carved out of marble marble by a master craftsman, creating a perfect visage of a god.
“Are you done ogling?”
Of course the moment had to be broken by Alhaitham’s crass nature. Kaveh sighed. He expected nothing less from a man who didn’t know the first thing about beauty or romance. He said so as much out loud, growing slightly miffed at Alhaitham’s quick exhale of breath, a tell-tale sign of his amusement.
“Ugh, you're absolutely unbearable!” Kaveh huffed, pulling away from Alhaitham’s warmth, ignoring his heart’s cries at the loss of contact. Luckily for him, Alhaitham once again grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to his chest. Kaveh sputtered in surprise, a warm blush overtaking his face.
“Come home with me.” Alhaitham whispered right next to Kaveh’s ear. Kaveh let out an involuntary shiver and blood rushed into his ears, blocking out all other sounds outside of Alhaitham.
“You don’t have to say it like that…” Kaveh tried to say evenly, failing horribly when it instead came out a jittery mess. Alhaitham laughed softly again in Kaveh’s ears, and Kaveh punched his shoulder in retaliation.
Later, people would say that they saw the Scribe bickering with a blond man while walking, their shoulders at times bumping into each other. Their fingers occasionally brush against the other and both the men would look away shyly. The blond man sporting a fiery red blush and the Scribe, a barely there redness at the tips of his ears. Their fingers would twitch as if seeking out the warmth of the other and then, they would go back to bickering while walking, starting the routine all over again.
What surprised residents most was the infamous Scribe of course. The man — well-known for his machine-like qualities that some even question whether he was even human — had a slight smile on his face, his eyes bright as he looked at his companion.
Then they returned to whatever they were doing after the spectacle, after all, it was none of their business.
“Do you know how long I spent looking for you?” Alhaitham said as soon as they stepped into the comfort of their home. Kaveh blinked up at him in confusion.
“You were looking for me?” He asked, dumbfounded. Alhaitham nodded slowly, fiddling slightly with his coat. Kaveh made sure to make a mental note of that habit.
“I was always looking.” Alhaitham hung his coat on the coat rack next to where Kaveh stood. “Everywhere I went, my eyes were only searching for you.”
“I thought you would have forgotten already,” Kaveh said softly, lifting a hesitant hand to caress Alhaitham’s cheek like how he used to do back then. He ran his thumb back and forth against Alhaitham’s cheekbone. The man closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Never.” Alhaitham whispered with so much conviction, Kaveh could not do anything but believe him.
“You once asked me what my dream was.” Alhaitham started again, placing his hand over Kaveh’s. He opened his eyes and in them, Kaveh found nothing but gentle tenderness. A light had reignited in his gaze that set Kaveh’s soul ablaze.
“Hm?” Kaveh managed to muster out, still mesmerized by the sight in front of him.
“It’s you.” Alhaitham grabbed Kaveh’s hand reverently, and kissed his knuckles. “It’s always been you.”