Archive of Our Own ^beta

Penny didn’t really have much going on in her life, but books would always make living worth it. She had had the same routine for many years now, her certain future gone when she and Sam parted ways, years ago. It had hurt at the time, but Penny knew it had been for the best. He wasn’t her soulmate, after all.

Not that she really thought she would ever find her soulmate. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to afford leaving this town, and she knew for a fact her soulmate wasn’t here. She’d know at this point. There were other ways to try to find them, but she wasn’t really comfortable with that.

Even if she was literate enough in technology to try and go on online forums looking for them, she knew she’d never be able to trust it enough to know it was real. She’s heard many stories of people being catfished to want to put herself out there like that.

So, Penny dedicated her life to the next best thing she could do, which was teaching the children of this town. She truly loved her job, and it brought her at least a little bit of fulfillment in her otherwise bland life. For all her other needs, she could always turn to books, and that was precisely what she was doing at the library today.

Penny perused the bookshelves, until she saw the title she’d been looking for. She reached up to get it, but it was just a tad outside of her reach, even if she got on her tiptoes. “It’s alright, I’ve got it,” she heard someone say from behind her.

She turned, and found Elliott effortlessly getting the book and handing it to her. “Here you go.”

Penny felt her face get hot, her heart pumping at double speed. “Thanks,” she said.

“You’re quite welcome.” He smiled. “That is a great novel you’ve chosen, if you don’t mind me saying. You have great taste in literature.”

“Oh, I haven’t read it yet, but the synopsis interested me.” It was a literary fiction work, about a woman who never got a soulmate mark.

“It is a wonderful work, the writing is superb. You will surely love it.” Elliott tilted his head at her, and Penny felt her insides melt.

She didn’t know why she felt this way around him. Maybe it was because he was undeniably gorgeous, or just the air he had about him. He seemed like a true gentleman, the kind of romantic man who didn’t exist anymore. “Well, I’ll let you know what I think about it once I finish,” she said, smiling.

“I eagerly await your thoughts, then,” Elliott said. “If you’ll excuse me, I must take my leave. Have a good day, Miss Penny.”

She hugged the book against her chest. “You too, Elliott.” She watched as he left, mesmerized yet unable to understand why.

It wasn't uncommon for people to get crushes, even if that person wasn’t their soulmate, so Penny didn’t really think too much about that. But she had to admit the more time passed, the more she thought about Elliott. They barely talked to each other, though she saw him pretty often at the library.

He’d moved here almost a year ago. He was a writer, and he was currently working on a novel. He was friends with Leah and Willy, but didn’t talk to too many people in town aside from them. She knew nothing about him beyond that, but lately she found herself wanting to.

Penny glanced at the book cover, and realized she had the perfect excuse to talk to him.

Elliott jotted some more ideas down on his notebook, feeling the breeze coming from the window swaying his hair. He hadn’t had much inspiration or drive to write lately, but he suddenly found himself thinking a lot about soulmates.

He didn’t really believe in the marks. At least, he’d never really met anyone who had found their matches, so it made sense why this concept seemed alien to him. He also did not like the broader implications of the mysterious marks that appeared on their bodies. The lack of choice was appalling to him, and he often imagined a world where the marks did not exist.

With that thought in mind, he finally started to construct a story.

Elliott had to admit that it had been a certain someone who’d instigated these first ideas in his brain. He had been intrigued by Penny for some time now, and when he saw her reaching for one of his favorite novels, he couldn’t resist finally chatting with her.

He was still waiting to see if she would keep up her promise and share her thoughts with him. He truly hoped she would, as it was quite a unique novel, and he wanted to know if she would like it.

Common interests, he wrote down in his notebook. Elliott was making a list of things that could potentially join people together beyond their marks. This one seemed obvious, though people often took it for granted.

A lot about romance was taken for granted, which was why he’d decided long ago he wouldn’t try to pursue his soulmate. If he found them, good, but in the meantime, Elliott would spend his time sampling little morsels of love from whoever wished to give him. Not too many people were interested in casual affairs, but he had found plenty of partners in the past.

Perhaps Penny could be one of them someday. He felt something stirring in his stomach, as if the idea of Penny being just another one seemed profoundly wrong. Elliott ignored it for now, and kept working on his list. It was a lot easier to come up with ideas when she was on his mind.

He couldn’t tell why, though.

A full week passed after Penny had finished the novel before she got the courage to speak to Elliott again. They exchanged pleasantries practically every day, and she got goose bumps whenever she heard the little bell by the library door, hoping it was him. Most of the time it was, yet she still wasn’t brave enough to talk to him.

Today would be different, though. She’s read and reread the book by now, and she’d rehearsed pretty much all of her thoughts in many imaginary conversations over the past few days. She was ready.

When she heard the bell today, she did her best not to jump from her seat and sprint towards the front door. Elliott returned a stack of books to Gunther, chatting with him for a moment. Penny waited with baited breath until he made his way to the bookshelves.

Elliott smiled once he noticed her. “Good afternoon, Miss Penny! How do you do on this fine day?”

Her face got hot, and she knew she probably looked as red as a tomato. Curse her pale complexion. “Hi, Elliott. I’m doing fine.” She paused, her fingers tapping on the book on the table in front of her. “I finished Soulless.”

Penny felt like she should give a bit more context. He probably had many other things on his mind, no shot he remembered the chat he’d had with her. But before she could say anything else, he pulled up a chair and sat in front of her. “Oh, and what did you think? Wasn’t the prose simply fantastic?”

Penny was taken aback by his earnestness for a moment, blinking. She tried to recoup, remembering all the points she’d been listing off in her head. “It really was. But, um… I was more interested in the story itself.”

He chuckled. “Oh, yes, the plot is also magnificent, I agree.” He placed his hands on the table, intertwining his fingers together. “My eyes are simply more trained to understand the craft at this point.”

Penny nodded. “Well, I–”

“Oh, dear,” he interrupted her, his cheeks darkening. “I only meant I have a keener eye for it due to my job. I did not mean to sound like a braggart, I apologize.” His eyes went wide. “I-I also did not mean to interrupt you, I’m…” He sighed. “Please, continue your thoughts. I would love to hear them.”

She blinked, trying to understand what had just happened. She had never seen Elliott act so flustered. She didn’t even think he was capable of that. “Um… well, I liked the discussions around the meaning of soulmates,” she said, looking down at her hands. “It was interesting how Daphne was in such a unique situation, but at the same time her feelings were so relatable.”

“Do you find them relatable?”

She bit her lip. “Yes… in a way, I guess.”

“Hm,” he said, crossing his legs. “I understand her position, the author is great at making the reader sympathize with Daphne, though I cannot say I have found myself in similar situations.”

Penny frowned. “Huh. So… have you found your soulmate?”

He laughed. “Oh, heavens, no. I simply mean I am not looking, therefore I do not feel the angst of never having something that you feel you are owed.”

She tried to not let her frown deepen, but she definitely thought this was strange. She’d never met a person who wasn’t looking. “So, are you one of those people who are anti-soulmates?”

Elliott laughed. Penny didn’t understand why his laughter brought instant relief to her body. “Not really. I believe it’s merely because I’ve never bore witness to a soulmated couple before, therefore I do not feel the rush to find them.”

She nodded. “Your parents weren’t soulmates?” She immediately put her hand on her mouth. “Oh, sorry, that was rude–”

He waved her off. “It’s alright, I do not mind.” He paused, shrugging. “I’ve no clue, I was adopted.”

“Oh.” There was a beat of silence between them, and Penny suddenly found herself wanting to tell him more about her life. “My parents weren’t. My mom said that at first it didn’t matter, they loved each other. But then, after I was born my father just walked out. Mom never understood why, until she found out that he had found his soulmate, and ran off to be with her. I never saw him again.”

Elliott shook his head. “I am sorry you had to go through that,” he said. “Though it does relate to some of the conversations in this book. Who’s to say your father wouldn’t do the same to his soulmate down the line? Is it truly just the mark stopping him, or is there something in his nature that makes him disregard his partners’ feelings?”

Penny tilted her head at him. She’s always held a lot of resentment towards her father for abandoning them, but a part of her had always thought it was justifiable. The other woman was his soulmate, after all. But maybe Elliott had a point. “I’ve never really considered that, to be honest. I… I don’t really like to think about it too much.”

His eyes went wide again, and he uncrossed his legs. “Oh, dear, I’ve been dreadfully rude today, haven’t I?” He chuckled, a little awkwardly. “I truly apologize, we do not have to go into painful subjects simply to discuss a novel.”

Penny waved him off, smiling to show she wasn’t bothered by it. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” She paused. “I just don’t really understand how you can even settle for someone who’s not your soulmate. Why would you even have children with them, if one day you’ll probably just leave?”

Elliott didn’t answer right away, and she thought maybe she had made things too awkward. “I understand why you might feel this way,” he said finally. “Though I cannot help but think a lot of it has to do with character more than anything. Nothing stopped your father from still being a part of your life, even after separating from your mother. Surely, if his lover was his soulmate, she would understand his predicament.”

He paused. “I do understand why our ancestors have applied this meaning to the marks once they’ve first appeared. It’s a wonderful way to make sense of life. Though it irks me how much emphasis we end up putting on soulmates. We can love those we are not matched with, even if it’s temporary. Why have we decided love is only good in this particular circumstance?”

Penny was silent for a moment, digesting what he’d just said. It seemed he had a very strong opinion on the marks, and she found it fascinating. She’d never really considered how little agency they had in this aspect. All she’s ever truly wanted was to find her soulmate, after all.

She had seen successful stories, and she could only hope to find someone perfect for her. She remembered how happy Sam and Sebastian looked after they found out they were a match. She wanted to feel that someday.

Elliott had raised an important question, though. Was it possible to get that feeling with someone who wasn’t your soulmate? Someone you weren’t sure? She shook her head. “Do you really believe that?”

Elliott smiled. “No love is wasted, Penny. No amount of affection we share with others is a loss.”

She felt her face grow even hotter, the air suddenly thin in the library. Funny how that had been similar to what she’d told Sam the day they’d broken up officially. Her 18th birthday, when she’d woken up with a mark on her left hip – irrevocably different from Sam’s mark on his right wrist.

She wondered where Elliott’s mark was. She’d never seen it – he was always wearing pants and long sleeves – but she didn’t know if he would be comfortable showing it. Some people thought flaunting your mark was wrong, especially if you hadn’t found your soulmate yet. Some people couldn’t help it, however, their marks on their faces or on otherwise always visible places.

Penny didn’t want to ask him about it. She suddenly felt a bit of dread in her stomach because of it, though she wasn’t sure why. “So, what did you make of the ending?” She asked after a moment of silence, steering the conversation back to the novel.

Elliott smiled, and their chat flowed easily after that. They shared their thoughts about the book and life in general, and before Penny knew it, it was starting to get dark outside. She hadn’t even noticed time passing, but they had spent most of the afternoon just chatting.

Gunther had pointedly but politely asked them to leave, and Penny and Elliott agreed on a different book they could read and discuss in the future. This one was a more traditional soulmate romance. The idea was for them to compare and contrast, and Penny felt like they had just inadvertently started a book club.

She had no issue with that, really enjoying the fact that she and Elliott could become friends now.

Spring was always lovely in this town, and Elliott had to admit that cheesy as it was, the Flower Dance was one of his favorites of Pelican Town’s traditions. It used to be a commemorative dance for soulmates only, but in modern times rules have got a little more lenient. It was no longer frowned upon to dance with a friend, or a romantic partner who wasn’t your match.

That had been the story as Leah had shared with him the previous year, claiming she had heard it from Marnie, but it still didn’t seem like too many of the couples were happy to dance. The younger ones were especially hesitant, though Elliott guessed it was probably because most of them were dancing with friends instead of partners.

He looked around at the villagers, and found Penny chatting with Maru and the doctor. She seemed to be laughing about something he’d said. Elliott loved seeing her beautiful smile, but he also felt a weird tingle in his gut as he watched them interacting.

He didn’t know where Harvey’s or Maru’s mark was, and he didn’t know where Penny’s was, either. What if one of them was her soulmate? Elliott only glared at something he logically knew was just a regular conversation, and couldn’t stop his mind from going to the worst place possible.

But why was it so bad to even think Penny’s soulmate could be someone else?

He didn’t have time to ruminate over it too much, as he felt an elbow dig into his side. “Ouch!” He exclaimed, turning to find Leah staring at him with a sly smile. He felt his face heating up. “What?”

“So… Penny, huh?” She said. “You know, when you told me you two started a little book club, my first thought was actually oh, finally!” She laughed. “I’ve always thought you two would get along.”

“Yes, we do have a lot of things in common, though I’ve no clue what you mean. We are just friends.”

“Why don’t you ask her to dance?”

His face got even hotter. “Because I do not wish to imply I might have romantic feelings when I clearly do not.”

“Uh-huh, clearly,” Leah replied, chuckling. “Do you know anything about her mark?”

Elliott shook his head. “Does it even matter?”

“Well, you’re basically shooting daggers at her friends over there, and they’re just talking.”

He scoffed, looking away from Leah, his eyes going straight back to where Penny was. “Shut up.”

Leah laughed. “I’m just kidding, Elli, I know you.” She shook his arm until he turned to face her. “Just like I know how you really want to dance with her.” He sighed. “Come on, go ask her! The worst she can say is no, isn’t it?”

Elliott smirked, glad she’d given him a perfect opportunity for a petty remark as revenge. “Was that what Haley told you last year?”

Leah glared at him, and pushed him in Penny’s general direction. “Just go!” He had no choice but to go through with it.

Penny had always enjoyed the vibe of the Flower Dance, but she had to admit she mostly used it as a way to hang out with friends rather than anything romantic. She didn’t have any kind of prospect anymore, either way.

She stood on the clearing, chatting with Maru and Harvey as she watched all the couples get ready for the dance. Harvey was telling them a funny story about something that had happened in medical school, when he suddenly stopped talking, a smirk on his face.

Penny turned, finding that Elliott had come to join them. “Excuse me,” he said. “I apologize for the interruption, but Penny, may I have this dance?”

It had been a long time since Penny’s last danced at this festival. Since her breakup with Sam, no one’s asked her to dance, yet she still dressed up with the hope one day someone would.

And now Elliott just did. She felt herself blushing, vaguely aware of Maru whispering something to Harvey in her peripheral vision. “Yes,” she said, a little stunned, a lot nervous. “I’d like that.”

He took her hand, kissing it, and led her to the middle of the clearing, where the other couples were getting ready. She felt giddy just being among them once again, but even more so because she was with Elliott.

Their chat about a book suddenly turned into a book club with regular meetings, and Penny would consider him a close friend by now. The butterflies she got in her stomach whenever they interacted would disagree that they were just friends, but she preferred ignoring them.

The dance had begun, and Elliott took the lead, one of his hands on her lower back, the other intertwined with hers. His touch was electric, and Penny was almost out of breath as she swayed with him. She decided she needed a distraction. “I thought you were dancing with Leah,” she said.

Elliott laughed, spinning her around. “Well, I was her consolation prize last year, meaning she was not all that upset to let me go.”

“Consolation prize?”

“She’s heard a rumor that Haley’s mark was on her thigh – the same place as Leah’s. She figured if she asked her to dance and they were indeed a match, they would instantly feel the sparks.” He laughed again. “Suffice to say it did not quite work out as Leah had hoped, so she danced with me instead.”

Penny laughed with him. Haley was known to be very standoffish when it came to the matters of the heart. She was often labeled as hard to get, and nobody knew where her mark was. Penny had a suspicion maybe she covered it up, so as to not risk anyone ever peeking at it.

Elliott had inadvertently offered an interesting information, though. His mark was most likely not on his thigh. That already eliminated a body part that was non-compatible with hers. His hand moved from her lower back to her hip, his thumb close to grazing her mark over her dress. Penny let out a sigh, her legs starting to get a little weak.

He’d also said something else that had caught her attention. “Do you think… you’d feel the spark if you danced with your soulmate?” She asked.

Elliott opened his mouth, then closed it. His eyes were soft and shining. Penny didn’t know if it’d just been the dance steps, but she could have sworn they were a little closer now. She could almost hear his heart beating from where she was, his hand warm against her hip.

Her hands got sweaty, her face hot and her gaze darting from his eyes to his lips. She wondered what it would feel like if they kissed. Would the jitters in her stomach dissipate, or would they get worse? “I don’t know,” Elliott answered finally.

The music was over, and the couples were already dispersing. Penny suddenly felt very aware of all the looks that were on them – curious gossipers, no doubt.

Elliott smiled at her, his cheeks redder than she’d ever seen them before. “Well, thank you for the dance,” he said, bowing to her and walking towards the buffet table. Penny took a moment to really compute what had happened.

She’d never felt those sparks before. It was as if the planet itself was bringing their axis closer into each other’s orbits. It was as if…

Penny didn’t dare finish that thought.

The Dance of the Moonlight Jellies always brought warmth to Elliott’s heart. It was such a beautiful phenomenon, and it always gave him some hope that perhaps the harm humanity has done to nature wasn’t completely irreversible yet.

He also enjoyed how everyone in town seemed to love the jellies, how everyone went quiet and solemn as they swam by. It was one of the few moments where he actually felt like a part of the town.

The only other time was whenever he was with Penny. They were friends by now, meeting at the library officially once a week for their book club, and unofficially pretty much every single other day.

He noticed how he’d started to get nervous before going to the library, not knowing if she would be there, but desperately hoping she would. He had stopped asking Gunther about her, scared that he would maybe think there was something more going on between them.

There wasn’t, but at the same time, maybe there was. Elliott didn’t understand how Penny made him feel so anxious, yet so happy. Their book chats were easily the highlight of his week, and he’d even had some ideas for his novel after talking to her. She was inspiring him, even without realizing.

The event was already over, most of the villagers already having gone back to their homes. Elliott lingered on the bench next to Willy’s shop, just watching the ocean and feeling the cold breeze on his face. He sighed, wishing Penny was still around to share this beautiful night with him.

Suddenly, Elliott heard a noise coming from nearby. It sounded like a sniffle. He frowned, turning in its direction and seeing Penny sitting on the pier. He hadn’t noticed she was still there, and it didn’t seem like she’d realized he was still here too.

He didn’t know if he should go speak to her, but his heart ached just at the thought of her being in distress. He stood, making his way towards her. “Penny?” She jumped when he spoke. He put his hand up. “I apologize… are you alright?”

She hastily wiped her eyes. “Yeah, uh…” He sat next to her, getting a handkerchief from his coat pocket and handing it to her. “Thanks.” She sniffled again, and he saw the tears were still falling down her cheeks. “Sorry. It’s just… I don’t know. Everything, I guess.”

Elliott wanted to wrap his arms around her, but he restrained himself. “Do you wish to talk about it?”

Penny didn’t answer right away. The only sound around them was the waves crashing on the shore. Even the jellyfish had already left, so it was mostly dark, yet he could still see her face. “Do you ever feel like you’re stuck, Elliott?”

“In what manner?”

She shrugged, pulling her cardigan shut. “Like… you’re waiting for something for you life to actually begin.”

He thought about it for a moment. “I do relate to that feeling, though most of the time I believe I am the one who must take the next step.”

She nodded. “I don’t feel like that. I feel like I’ve gone as far as I’ll ever go without… something more.”

“What do you think that something is?”

Penny unfolded and folded the handkerchief in her hands. “I don’t know. Any kind of change.” She paused. “It scares me that the jellyfish come on the same day every year. It feels… it feels like nature is trapping them. The same way it traps us. There is so much that’s out of our control… and… if I never find what I’m looking for, then I don’t have a chance at being happy.”

Elliott could sense what she actually meant. “Everyone has a chance of being happy, Penny.”

“No, I don’t!” She snapped. “I’m never gonna find my soulmate, Elliott. How… I don’t have anything else. I want to be a real teacher, but I can’t afford that. All I have to hope for is the remote possibility that there’s someone out there waiting for me. And I know I’m never gonna find them, because I’m stuck here.” She sobbed, using the handkerchief to wipe her face.

Elliott still refused to believe so deeply in the idea of soulmates, but he understood her fears. Lately he’s been feeling like he also wouldn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life. He’d never felt that way before.

He thought about his list of things beyond the marks that meant you were in love. He had added many things to it the more time he spent with Penny. He had noticed it, but he hadn’t really connected the dots until now. “I know soulmates aren’t everything in this life,” she said after a moment of silence. “But… I’ve always wanted to be loved.”

“Do you think only your soulmate would be able to love you?”

She shook her head. “It’s not that, it’s just… I just wanted to be completely sure.”

“You can love without being sure.”

She scoffed. “Yeah? How?”

Elliott couldn’t stop himself, and before he realized it, his lips were on hers. His heart was racing, his stomach all tingly with the sheer excitement. Fireworks. That’s what this was. He pulled away, unsure if Penny had felt the same thing.

She looked into his eyes, and pulled him back in. Elliott placed his hand on her cheek, feeling how hot it was, and imagined she must be blushing like crazy. His face felt hot too, so they were even.

He couldn’t even feel the cool wind from the ocean anymore, completely engulfed in her warmth. He felt her gentle fingers trailing up his neck, her hands wrapping around it, and he knew. He’d never been more certain of anything in his life.

If Penny wasn’t his soulmate, Elliott didn’t think he could believe in the marks.

She pulled away suddenly. “I have to go,” she said, her voice low.

“Penny…”

“It’s… sorry, I just have to go.” She stood. “It’s late, and…” She trailed off, walking backwards towards the beach. “I’ll see you later, Elliott.” She turned, and left.

Elliott watched her go, desperately wanting to follow her, but he knew he shouldn’t. She was too vulnerable right now. He shouldn’t even have kissed her, but he didn’t know what had come over him. He sighed, his eyes watering.

Elliott reached into his pocket for his handkerchief, when he realized Penny had kept it.

Penny did her best to try and focus, but for the last two days her mind was taken over by Elliott. She couldn’t stop thinking about him, yet she was terrified of running into him again. She shouldn’t have run off the way she had, but she was still far too confused.

She had purposefully avoided the library the day before, but the children had tutoring today, and she couldn’t skip work just because her stomach froze over at the thought of speaking to Elliott.

She got to the library as early as she could, knowing Elliott was usually a late riser. She had some time to go over her notes for today’s lesson, and try to focus on what she would need to teach today.

Almost as soon as she’d got her materials out, she heard the little bell by the door. She looked up immediately, her legs going numb as she saw Elliott walk in. He greeted Gunther, but didn’t take long before going over to where she was.

He smiled at her, warm and sweet as always, but she noticed his flushed face and hesitant steps. She must look like a deer in headlights, knowing she had no way of escaping him now. “Good morning, Penny.”

She felt her tongue swelling, and she almost couldn’t form the words. “G-good morning, Elliott!” She smiled, hoping she didn’t look as nervous as she felt.

He didn’t sit, his hands behind his back. “I’ve heard it is your birthday today, is it not?”

She nodded, having basically forgotten about that fact. “Yeah, it is.”

Elliott smiled again. “Well, happy birthday! I’m afraid I do not have a proper gift for you, but…” He showed her what he’d been hiding, a red leather-bound notebook. “I wanted to show you this.”

He handed it to her, and she took it. Her hands were shaky, and she hoped he wouldn’t notice. “What is it?”

“I shan’t take too much of your time, but… in short it is a notebook of my ideas.” She frowned, unsure why he wanted her to see it. “I have been working on a novel. It’s about a couple who fall in love in a world where soulmate marks do not exist.”

She blinked. “That sounds interesting.” She couldn’t help the butterflies in her stomach.

“I would like to know your opinion on my work, but alas, I do not have much to show you just yet. So for now, I would like to show you where I am coming from with this concept.” Penny nodded, opening up the notebook. “You do not have to read it right now,” he said, his tone almost pleading. “Take your time with it and… perhaps you’d like to join me for dinner this Friday?”

Penny felt the air leave her lungs. “Yeah, sure, I’d love to,” she said, grinning like a doofus.

Elliott smiled back, and she couldn’t help but notice how red his cheeks were. “Great! I will see you then.” He turned, making his way out of the library.

She was stunned for a moment, but then she remembered something. “Elliott, wait!” She called out. He turned back as she rummaged through her bag, taking out his handkerchief. “I forgot to return this to you.”

Elliott walked back to her, reaching his hand out to seemingly take the handkerchief back. Instead, he closed her fingers around it, his hand lingering on hers. “Keep it.” He still had a sweet smile on his face as he left once again. Her hand felt cold without his touch.

Her legs were weak, and she was glad she was sitting. She took in a breath, just staring at the door where he’d just walked out from. She didn’t know how long she kept her gaze there, but soon enough she saw the children walking in, chatty and energetic as always.

Penny had no idea how she would get through her lesson now, but she better think about a way fast.

Penny felt lucky today had been the first lesson of the kids’ new school year and could afford to take it a bit slow, because her mind was completely filled with what could possibly be written on Elliott’s notebook. She walked Vincent and Jas home, and all but ran back to the trailer, locking herself in her bedroom as she got the notebook from her backpack.

She noticed a little marker on a specific page, and decided to start with that.

• Common interests (She is a reader, much like I. We have essentially begun a book club of our own, and I hadn’t realized how much I missed chatting with a friend about the novels I’ve been reading. She likes cooking – though she claims to not be very good at it – and we seem to have a somewhat similar taste in music – would have to play some symphonies for her to know for sure!)
• Similar ideals (She is passionate about her job, and about the state of our town’s education. I admire her greatly for it. She shares in my fears over our nature’s future, and often tries to teach the children to respect our environment.)
• Physical attractiveness (She is the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I cannot help but think she glows in a world where everyone else is dreadfully dull.)

Butterflies? Fireworks? Too subjective.

I feel so strange when I am around her. It is as if the rest of the world completely melts away, and all I can see is her.

I miss her when she’s not around. I get anxious whenever I think about going to the library and running into her.

Is this list pointless?

I saw her today and all I could think about was how beautiful she looks when she smiles. I cannot help the selfish sense of accomplishment I get whenever I make her smile. I wish I could do that every day.

I think I am in over my head

I do not know what else to write in this. What has started as merely research has turned into trying to apply my own theories to myself and Penny. I do not understand how I feel, therefore I do not know if love is something that can easily be qualified.

I felt the fireworks.

It has been months since I started writing this, but I believe I have reached a verdict. My conclusions lead me to believe that love is insane. Trying to find reason in madness is pointless, and I see now that we are merciful for having our marks (though I still stand by the fact if I am not matched with her, I cannot stand by this system.)

There is no rhyme or reason, no decisive list of attributes that makes us fall in love. We simply do.

And I surely did.

Penny could barely believe what was written as she kept going. There was no way this was real. No way Elliott could actually love her. She’d been feeling a very strange yearning for him for months now, something she still didn’t dare call love, but that looked a lot like it. She honestly thought it would be downright stupid of her to even consider he could reciprocate her feelings.

At the same time… he had kissed her. He had said he didn’t need to be sure to love. Elliott had meant that specifically about her.

She was scared now. Terrified of not being his soulmate, of being capable of feeling something so strong for someone who wasn’t supposed to be hers. Just the thought of Elliott being with anyone else sent her spiraling.

They had dinner plans this coming Friday, but Penny couldn’t wait. If she had to stay here and wait for two full days, she would go crazy thinking about the possibilities.

She took a shower and changed into a clean button down dress, and all but ran towards the beach.

Elliott was startled by a knock on his door. It wasn’t all that late, but it was unusual for him to ever get visitors. He went over to answer it, and found Penny standing there, hands clutching his leather notebook, eyes moist. “Penny? What brings you here?”

“Hi,” she said. Her voice was a little hoarse. “I’m sorry if… can I come in?”

He nodded, stepping aside to let her in. He didn’t know how exactly to read her mood, no idea if her eyes were wet with sad or happy tears. “Is everything alright?”

Penny didn’t meet his gaze, staring at the notebook in her hands instead. She sighed, her face turning red. “Did you… do you love me, Elliott?”

Elliott did not expect her to be so blunt about it, but he had no reason to lie to her. “Yes,” he said, taking a step closer to her. “I am aware that it is not the way we are supposed to do this, but… I cannot help how I feel, and what I feel is… love.”

He simply didn’t know how else to put it into words. He’d written it down as best as he could, and he could only hope she felt the same way.

Tears ran down Penny’s face, and she put the notebook down on the kitchen table. She finally met his gaze, seeing the softness in his eyes. She didn’t know if she should believe it, but she could feel it. She’s been feeling it for months now, a little ember in her chest, lighting up whenever he was around.

The embers have grown into flames, and Penny wouldn’t know what to do if they weren’t meant to be. “But… what if we’re not–”

Elliott walked up to her, taking her hands in his. “Penny, tell me… right now, do you love me?”

“Yes,” she said, not a shadow of doubt in her heart. She’d never felt this way for anyone before.

His hands were still on hers. “Then it does not matter. If we are not…” He gulped. “Then it means it isn’t real. Because I know what we have is real.”

Penny was still scared, though. How could it not be real? Her father had left them because of it. Her whole life, all she’s ever been told was that there was no love quite like the one from your soulmate. Nothing was as fulfilling, as whole and true.

But that was what she felt for Elliott, even if she didn’t know for sure. It wouldn’t change just because of a mark or lack thereof.

She stepped away from him, taking a deep breath. It was time to know the truth. She wouldn’t know how to handle her feelings otherwise. She started to undo the buttons of her dress, not preoccupied with modesty right now. Even if he wasn’t… she still wouldn’t mind him seeing her.

Penny pulled the left side of her dress away, revealing a lot more skin than she’s shown in years, and the mark on her hip. She’s only ever shown it to Sam.

But now, Elliott had seen it too. She couldn’t read his expression, his mouth hanging open and the tears in his eyes. It could mean anything, good or bad. Penny waited, her hands shaking as she kept the fabric away from her body. The air was cold, but she didn’t want to hide herself anymore. Not from him.

He reached out for her, and she took a step closer, letting him trace her mark with his fingers. His touch was electrifying, intimate and delicate in a way she couldn’t have anticipated.

Elliott didn’t say anything as he unbuttoned his shirt. Penny held her breath, only letting go when she saw it. On his left hip, the exact same spot as hers. Three lines, two long ones curved downwards, and a third, smaller one, curved upwards. “It’s the rabbit,” she said.

He frowned, looking down. “The rabbit?”

She laughed, relief crashing down on her. It was real. “Yeah. Sam said it looked like a rabbit when I showed him. I guess I got used to seeing it like that.”

“Oh,” he laughed too. “I have always thought it looked like a heart.”

“That’s what I told him!” Their laughter died down, and Elliott took a step closer to her, cupping her cheek.

He kissed her, his other hand holding her hip, his thumb gently caressing her mark. She put her hands on his chest, moving them down until she found his. Her eyes were closed, but it was as if she knew exactly where it was on him. “I love you,” Elliott said when he pulled away.

He rested his forehead against hers, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I love you too,” she said. Elliott moved his hand down to her thighs, pulling her up as they kissed again. Penny wrapped her legs around his torso, letting him take her wherever he wanted.

Elliott hadn’t felt this calm in a very long time. It was as if he’d been gasping for air his entire life, running towards something he felt he would never reach. But now, he had found it.

Penny lay with her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. They hadn’t really talked much after consummating their love, but words were meaningless right now. She closed her eyes, feeling his breathing slowly sync with hers. She was finally home.