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Leah wasn’t really sure what was the point of a Flower Dance anymore, but at least it gave her the perfect excuse to get the answers she’s been looking for.
She had first heard the rumor just a little over a week ago, when she’d been out sketching the ocean. It was an unusually hot spring day, and a lot of people were gathered at the beach. Alex and Sam had been chatting nearby, while helping Vincent build sandcastles. “Yeah, she always hides it,” Alex had said. “But it’s a really cool one, it’s like an hourglass on her thigh.”
The pencil tip snapped against the paper. Leah suddenly realized she hadn’t been paying attention to her work at all. They had been talking about Haley, that much she was certain. But it didn’t seem plausible.
“Why does she hide it?” Sam retorted. “I know why Seb hid it, but I don’t get it for her.”
“I don’t know.” He lowered his voice, and Leah almost couldn’t hear him over the waves, but she managed to catch it. “I think she might be scared. She doesn’t like not being in control.”
She felt her cheeks grow hot, self consciously looking down at her own thigh, seeing the hourglass shape there. Could it really be her, then?
She didn’t get the courage to ask. Haley walked around with a thick veneer of cool annoyance on her expression at all times. Leah wasn’t usually fazed by that kind of thing, but her weakness was pretty girls who were a little mean. Especially if said girl was maybe, possibly her soulmate.
But Leah had still tried to see it for herself. She felt like a stalker whenever Haley stopped by the forest, always with her camera, and always wearing short skirts. Leah sneaked glances at her every so often, as subtle as she could, but there wasn’t a mark on her thigh, at least none she could see from afar.
It didn’t feel like enough confirmation for her. Leah didn’t know why she felt an almost desperation to find out. Maybe it was because of her past experiences. Maybe she just wanted proof that the soulmate thing was actually real, and that she did have one.
She couldn’t keep herself from staring at Haley, either, and she feared it was starting to look a little weird. She looked gorgeous, though, her golden locks tied in an intricate updo, her white dress making her look like a regal creature of the forest. She carefully rehearsed her steps with a precision Leah only saw in fellow artists. She needed to get to know her.
If Elliott had noticed her weird behavior, he hadn’t said anything, busy eating some of the food that was offered. He didn’t care about soulmates. Lucky him. “I think I’m gonna ask her to dance,” Leah said, more to herself than anything else.
He still heard it, raising an eyebrow at her. “Are you certain that is a good idea?”
Maybe it wasn’t, but Leah didn’t think it could go that badly. Especially if the rumor was true. She shrugged, turning to Elliott. “Yeah, what’s the worst that can happen?”
Haley scrunched up her face. “Ew, no,” she replied with a mean giggle at the end, and walked off.
Leah was left standing there, blinking slowly, unable to really compute what had happened. She was more offended than heartbroken, if she were being honest. That ew had certainly hurt. She looked down at her pantsuit, trying to see if maybe there were any paint stains on it.
“I’ll dance with you to save your reputation, dear Leah,” Elliott said, showing up behind her and taking her by her hips. She hated his flair for the dramatic sometimes, and she still couldn’t tell if he was trying to flirt with her or not. She opted to believe he was just like that with everyone, since they got along well otherwise.
Leah had been lonely for a while after getting here, so befriending him was still one of the best things she’s managed to do so far. “That bad, huh?” Elliott asked.
She sighed. “I guess she’s not into girls.” It was easier to believe that to the truth, which was that Haley was probably not into her.
Still, she looked back to where Haley was dancing with Alex, beautiful, ethereal and unattainable, and staring right into Leah’s eyes.
It has been a whole year since that fateful Flower Dance, and Haley wondered if she should maybe try to atone for her past dismissal of Leah. Last year, she had been a different person. Now, she was trying to be better. Besides, she knew the truth now.
She saw Elliott asking Penny to dance, and knew that Leah would definitely be available. Still, her feet wouldn’t move. Deep down, she knew this wasn’t just atonement. The mark on her thigh burned, as it always seemed to do when she slathered foundation on top of it. She wondered if she was allergic to it or if it was all in her mind.
She had seen Leah at the beach last summer. She was wearing shorts. She hardly ever showed off her long legs, so Haley had noticed it. And then she couldn’t stop staring. Because on her right thigh, there was an hourglass.
Haley had freaked out, and simply avoided Leah whenever they happened upon each other. Thankfully, it wasn’t often.
But maybe Haley kind of wanted it to be.
She wondered if Leah knew, and that was why she had asked her to dance last year. Haley was careful when showing off her mark, not wanting anyone to know something so personal, but Alex knew, and she feared he might have told other people. Maybe Leah had overheard it, or maybe it had reached her ears through the grapevine.
It didn’t matter, because she knew, and Haley knew, and now she couldn’t think about anything else but Leah.
Of course Haley had noticed her before. She was gorgeous, her hair shiny and still beautiful in that messy braid she always wore. Her hands always stained with paint, which on anyone else would look sloppy, but on her was really cute. Her blue eyes so dark they almost looked purple. Her aforementioned long legs…
Haley felt her face burning up. She’d never really thought about another woman like that before. Leah was different, though, and all of this scared her. Was this all really just because of a mark? Did Leah feel anything for her? How did any of this even worked?
Haley didn’t know, but when she felt Leah’s eyes on her, she knew she was in it for the long run.
Sometimes Leah couldn’t believe it’s been over a year since she’s even tried to speak to Haley, but deep down she figured it made sense. Why go for something that was so uncertain, and that could only end in heartbreak anyway? Not that she’s stopped thinking about her, but she pushed those thoughts away, trying to focus on her art for the time being.
It wasn’t working all too well, but she would still try.
Leah was trying right now, in fact, sketching away by the river next to her home. She stopped when she heard footsteps nearby, turning to see Haley all but running towards her. “Hi,” she said. “Are you her?”
Leah blinked, her heart skipping a beat. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She thought she did, but she didn’t want to give anything away in case she was very wrong.
Haley sighed, and lifted up her skirt to show the mark on her right thigh. An hourglass shape, just like Leah’s. “Are you my soulmate or not?”
Leah only stared at the mark for a moment, feeling like the ground around her was about to crumble. She didn’t understand why Haley was being so aggressive, but she should have expected this. “Well… can we go chat in my cabin?”
Haley wanted to have sounded a little nicer when she’d asked Leah the question that had been on her mind for months now. Too bad her mouth had a mind of its own, and she couldn’t hide her annoyance. Or maybe disappointment? She didn’t know what it was just yet.
She had high expectations for her soulmate. Haley was one of a kind, after all; her soulmate should be someone just as exceptional. But she also had imagined a future with a soulmate who would take care of her, and that person had always been a man.
She figured it had to be someone independent, caring, loyal; someone who would shower her in gifts if she so much as hinted she’d had a bad day. Someone almost blindly devoted to her.
But maybe Haley had been looking at this thing the wrong way, and a simp wouldn’t be able to really fulfill all of her demands. She needed someone with a strong personality, who wouldn’t cave so easily to her petty squabbles.
Haley wanted a fight, essentially. She didn’t know yet if Leah would be able to keep up with her. “So, are you or not?” She asked Leah as soon as they were inside her cottage.
Leah sighed, sitting down on a chair by the table in her kitchen. “Well, I’m not about to pull my pants down to show you, but yeah, I think so.”
“Why not, aren’t we soulmates?”
She frowned, her mouth slightly open. “And we don’t even get to know each other first?” Haley blushed, not liking being called out like that. She just wanted to get this over with. “Can… can I see yours again?”
She scoffed. “Oh, so I can’t see yours, but you can see mine?” Leah only stared at her, her eyes close to pleading. Haley sighed, lifting her skirt again. Leah beckoned her closer, and she took a step towards the chair.
Leah hesitated, her gaze fixed on the mark. Haley felt her face heating up, feeling a bit like an animal at an auction. “Can I touch it?” Haley bit the inside of her mouth, but nodded.
Her touch was careful, but her fingers were a little roughened up. She kind of liked that feeling. She ran her thumb across the mark, the rest of her fingers gripping her thigh. Haley kept her eyes fixed forward, not wanting to look at her while she basically examined her. Leah sighed, taking her hand away. “Well.”
“Well what?”
“I guess you’re not lying.”
Haley shook her head. “Why the hell would I lie about this? It’s not like I wanted this, you know.” She didn’t know if she should have said that, but Leah didn’t look offended by it. “So, are you a lesbian?”
“Yeah.”
Haley shrugged, crossing her arms. “So, like… what would you have done if your soulmate was a guy?”
Leah shrugged right back. “Then I’d know my soulmate was just platonic.”
She scoffed, putting her hands up, exasperated. “But how can you say that? Like… aren’t you supposed to love your soulmate more than anything or whatever?”
Leah was silent for a moment. “Is that what this is about? Are you afraid of falling in love with me?”
Haley had no idea how to answer that. “I… I just never really pictured myself with a woman, I guess.” Well, kind of. She would often think that getting married to a woman would definitely be better than being with a guy. But that was something every girl thought deep down, right? Girls were just way neater. And nicer. And cuter.
Her face was on fire, and she couldn’t look at Leah as those thoughts ran through her head. “Whatever,” she said, taking a deep breath to recoup. “What are we supposed to do now?”
Leah shrugged. “You wanna sit down so we can talk?”
Haley pulled up a chair and sat. “About what?”
“We can start with the basics. How old are you?”
“Twenty-four.”
“I’m twenty-nine.”
Her eyes went wide. “Really?” Leah nodded. She definitely didn’t look it. It made her feel a bit like a child next to her. Leah looked way more independent than her. She had her own house, and possibly ways of making money to get by. Meanwhile, Haley was living off of her parents while struggling to find any kind of purpose in life. “So… what do you do?”
“I’m an artist.” Haley looked around her home, and realized that should have been obvious. There was a canvas in the kitchen, for starters, but there were also a lot of wood and paint and other tools strewn around the room. “I sculpt most of the time, but I like to paint, too.”
She nodded. “I’m in between things right now,” she said, not giving her the chance to ask. The question was humiliating enough as it was. “I’m trying to figure out what I want.”
“You do photography, don’t you?” Haley looked up and saw Leah’s face turn red. “I-I’ve seen you around the forest before. With a camera. I assumed that was your job.”
Haley smiled, her heart warming in her chest. No one had ever assumed she worked. She would even brush off the fact Leah had certainly been watching her as flattering. “Not really. It’s just a hobby.”
Leah tilted her head at her, as if trying to read her. Maybe she was. Maybe she wanted to actually learn more about her. Her heart almost leapt to her throat. “But do you like doing it? Do you think you’d want that as a job?”
She pouted, feeling like she was being exposed. She didn’t want to think about her future. What even was out there for her, anyway? Besides, she never really got the point of planning things. Her parents were living proof that you could live without a plan. It didn’t matter if they never got to see their children anymore. Haley was a big girl, she didn’t need mommy and daddy to see she was doing good in life.
She wasn’t, anyway. “Sorry,” Leah said. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, I was just curious.”
Haley took in a breath, straightening her back. “It’s okay. Yeah, I do like it, but I don’t know if it’s a good career.”
Leah chuckled. “Well, I’m not a good person to give out career advice, so…” She trailed off. Haley didn’t know how to fill the silence, so she just didn’t. She kept staring at Leah, seeing the way the sun coming from the window cast its light on her. She was glowing, the most beautiful thing Haley had ever seen.
This was probably the most confused she’s ever felt. “Did you know?” Haley asked. “At the Flower Dance last year?”
Leah nodded. “I wasn’t sure, but I heard a rumor.”
“From where?”
She smiled. “I have a feeling you might get very angry at whoever I heard it from, so I’m not telling.” Haley huffed, hating that she was definitely right. Her stomach tied up in knots, realizing that this woman could already read her better than she thought. “Sorry for doing that. I just really needed to know.”
“Well, now you know,” she snapped, then sighed. She crossed her arms, terrified of what was happening here. “I’m sorry, I…” She looked up, and saw Leah’s eyes watering. “Are you okay?”
She wiped her eyes, taking in a breath. “Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just…” She sighed. “This is kinda surreal for me. I… I know everyone is supposed to have a soulmate, but… I thought I didn’t.”
Haley frowned, but she still felt a pang of sadness. It was as if she could tell how much this was bothering her. As if she knew all she wanted was to find Haley. “Why?”
Leah smiled, and Haley felt the urge to jump over the table and kiss her. “It’s kind of a long story. I think… if you want to get to know me, you can come over anytime.”
Haley felt a sting. She didn’t like being rejected. “So you want me to leave?”
“That’s not what I said.” Leah’s brows creased in worry. “I thought you wanted some time to think about this.”
She shrugged. “I’ve thought about it. That’s why I’m here.”
“You don’t look very comfortable.”
Haley’s jaw tightened. Just because she wasn’t comfortable, it didn’t mean she didn’t want to be here. She was just scared. Terrified, even. She felt how her life was changing drastically right in front of her, and there was nothing she could do about it.
Maybe she should just embrace it. “Can I kiss you?” She asked.
Leah’s eyes filled with hope, and Haley only wanted to kiss her more. “Are you sure?”
She tried to play it cool, not wanting to show just how much this has been affecting her. It has been on her mind for months now, the one thing she only thought about when she was sure no one else could hear her. Even if it was just in her mind, she didn’t want to risk it. “Yes,” she said.
Leah stood, making her way around the table to reach her. Haley figured she should stand too. She suddenly felt like she didn’t know what she was doing at all. Leah got closer to her, but she hesitated for a moment, the two of them in each other’s orbits.
Haley was glued to her spot, and Leah cupped her cheeks, bringing her in for a kiss. It took her a second for the shock to pass, even if she had been expecting it.
This was quite different. If it was different as in just kissing someone new, kissing a woman, or kissing her soulmate, she couldn’t tell, but it was different enough to have her stomach doing jumping jacks in her abdomen. She didn’t want to pull away, not even for air if she could help it.
But sadly Leah seemed very attached to the idea of breathing, so she broke their kiss. Haley still remained close, their noses almost touching. She didn’t know what to say, her hands firmly at her side, clenching her fists so as to not grab Leah by her flannel and kiss her again. “So how was that?” Leah asked.
Haley could have been deluding herself, but she could have sworn Leah sounded affected by it, the same way she felt. “Good.” She rolled her shoulders back, but it still wasn’t enough to stand taller than her. “Very good.”
Leah smiled, her cheeks bright red. She wouldn’t meet Haley’s gaze, though, as if her mind had been somewhere else. “Good.” She took in a breath. “So now what?”
Haley shrugged, still trying to play it cool. “I don’t know. Whatever you want to do with this, I guess.”
“By this you mean you?”
She hadn’t noticed how her words would sound. She kept her shoulders back, trying to be a little braver. “Maybe.” Her knees were weak, her lips tingling with the memory of Leah’s kiss, and she didn’t like the fact she didn’t know what would happen next.
But Haley was also excited for this change. She felt silly for not taking the plunge earlier, but she hoped they could make up for lost time now. If she ever stopped feeling these pesky butterflies for long enough to form an actual sentence.
Leah would like the Luau a lot more if it wasn’t so hot. The soup was usually good, the vibes were nice and chill, and the beach was a gorgeous place to be, especially in the summer. But the heat was unforgiving, and she was unfortunately forced to wear shorts.
She hated showing off her legs. She felt so exposed and uncomfortable, and she still didn’t know if it was because her mark was on display like this, or because of the way Kel would often try to convince her to wear skirts and dresses. “You need to look more feminine,” she used to say, even though Leah hated it with a burning passion.
Leah now believed Kel saw potential in her, but for all the wrong reasons. She saw in Leah a sucker who would be easy to manipulate and desperate enough to fall for it. Fitting into whatever mold Kel wanted was simply expected.
Life wasn’t like that anymore. Leah could wear pants all she wanted, except when it wasn’t practical to do so. She would gladly make this compromise now that it was her choice.
She sat on the pier, looking out into the sea. She forgot to bring her sketchbook and was not willing to brave the heat to go back to her cottage for it. She tried to memorize it instead, hoping to capture this beauty once she got home.
“The view is beautiful today.” Leah turned, and saw Haley walking up to her. “Too bad I forgot my camera.”
She smiled, her face heating up as Haley sat next to her. They’ve been talking somewhat often, but it never seemed to be enough for Leah. Haley wanted to keep some distance, though, still figuring out her own feelings. Things weren’t as complicated for Leah, but she was willing to wait. “I forgot my sketchbook too,” Leah said.
Haley smiled back. “I guess we do have a lot in common after all.” She glanced down at Leah’s legs, and she suddenly realized she’d never shown her mark before. “Oh. So it is the same.”
She turned to face her, seeing Haley’s blue bikini. She noticed her thighs were exposed, but she couldn’t see the mark anymore. Leah frowned. “Where’s your mark?”
Haley blushed. “It’s there. I cover it up. I don’t want others to know.”
“You’re not lying to me, are you?”
She frowned, looking both confused and offended. “Again, why would I lie? I didn’t choose this, Leah, no matter if…”
She clamped her mouth shut, but Leah couldn’t help the skeptic in her. Skeptic and perhaps a little too traumatized by her past experiences. “My ex had reason to lie,” she said.
Haley’s frown deepened. “And is this ex the reason you thought you didn’t have a soulmate?”
She closed her eyes, not knowing how to answer for a moment. She hated talking about this, but she felt an urge to tell Haley everything, as if deep down she knew she would understand. But that same skeptic part of her screamed at her to be careful. She couldn’t really trust a woman who covered up her mark like that.
Why? Leah wasn’t sure, but her brain could easily jump to conclusions of deception and bad intentions.
She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she jumped in surprise. “I don’t want to push you,” Haley said. “But you’ve been dodging this for a while.”
It was true. Leah might not have mentioned Kel’s existence, but she had alluded to it often enough. Honesty was important. Haley wouldn’t mind. Her soulmate wouldn’t mind that she had massive baggage.
Leah sighed again. “My ex was… not a very nice person.” She paused, and Haley waited. “I met her on one of those soulmate forums. I posted a picture and asked if anyone had a mark like that.” She knew now how dangerous those sites could be, but she was naïve and very lonely at the time.
“Someone responded, and it was this woman. She was older than me, very mature and put together. I thought she was the coolest person because of her age, and I… well, I was close to graduating from art school, completely clueless on what to do. She was like a beacon of light, showing me a set path to a good life.
“The only issue was that our marks weren’t the same.” She traced her own mark, remembering the way instinct told her to run, and how Kel had convinced her to ignore it. “It was in the same spot and the same shape, but her mark had an extra line in the middle. It was definitely different, but it was close enough that she convinced me she was my soulmate.”
There was a lot more to this story. There was the way Kel had convinced her to get an office job, even though all Leah has ever wanted was to live off her art. How she had thrown away all of her art supplies once she had gotten said job, claiming Leah wouldn’t have time for her silly hobbies anymore. How Kel kept talking about adopting kids, when Leah had never once mentioned wanting to be a mother.
Kel was desperate to make her fit a traditional mold, even when they were anything but. When Leah was anything but. All done under the veneer of soulmates, all of it one big lie that had stolen five years of Leah’s life. Her eyes started to water. It was over now. Kel could still call all she wanted, she still couldn’t get to her. It was over. “Your ex is a monster,” Haley said. “And I mean that in full offense.”
Leah actually laughed. She hadn’t really shared this story with a lot of people, not even Elliott knew the full extent of it, so it felt almost validating to hear someone else say what she had been thinking for years now. “I know.”
“Glad you’re far away from that asshole now, ugh.” She shook her head. “Imagine lying to the person you say is your soulmate. How heartless is that?”
Leah was surprised that Haley hadn’t asked her the obvious: why had she stayed? A complicated question she hated answering, because there was no good answer for it. “And I’m sorry,” Haley continued, and Leah noticed she was actually angry. “But saying close enough marks are good enough? Hello, is she a moron or just plain evil? I can’t fucking believe this. If I see this bitch I’m going to deck her.”
Leah was surprised once again to laugh at her words. “That’s a bit too violent.”
“Whatever,” Haley said, rolling her eyes. “As if she doesn’t deserve it for doing that to you.”
Haley didn’t even know half the story, and she was already reacting like this, fiercely protective. As if she cared, as if beneath all of her insecurities with their newfound status she actually felt something for her.
Haley reached down into the ocean, getting the tip of her beach cover wet. She rubbed it on her thigh, and her mark suddenly appeared. “Just so you can be sure,” she said, smiling.
Leah reached out. “Can I?” Haley nodded, so she placed her thumb on her mark, rubbing it and seeing the mark become even clearer. She looked at Haley, and it seemed like she was holding her breath.
Leah pressed her fingers a little harder, and Haley let out a little mewl. Her face heated up. She wanted to make Haley make that sound again. She could barely hear all the vague party noises behind them, all of it fading the more she focused on Haley.
She felt herself almost being pulled closer to her, but she pulled away when she heard a sudden scream in the air. “Oh goodness, what is all this?!”
Leah turned and saw a very confused Elliott looking out of his window. She laughed, thinking he must have forgotten about the Luau again. She stood. “I’ll go help him not be so shocked,” she told Haley.
She smiled. “Okay.” The two of them stared at each other for a moment. “Can I stop by your house later?”
“Of course.” Leah said goodbye to her, feeling a weird push and pull in her chest, a part of her wanting to stay and another wanting to run away. She had never felt this conflict before. With Kel it was always the desire to run away that she pushed down, but with Haley…
Leah made her way to Elliott’s cabin, hoping to distract herself until the evening.
Haley didn’t know if she would ever not be nervous when knocking on Leah’s door. She’s been coming over for a while now, but the butterflies would never sit still in her stomach. She couldn’t recall ever feeling like this before.
She’s had crushes in the past, but she was always more practical about it. Being into Alex made sense when she was a teenager. He wasn’t the brightest, but he was dedicated to his team, and could potentially go pro some day. Gridball players made a ton of money, so Haley would be set for life.
It took him getting his mark, completely different from hers, for her to finally admit there was no spark between them. She wasn’t even upset about it, only relieved and maybe a little disappointed. She knew Alex. She could plan around a future with him, even if it wouldn’t be the happiest for her.
But that wasn’t the world they lived in. Here, the universe spat in their faces and laughed at anything they could consider a plan. Haley would just have to deal with it.
If she were being honest she would admit that this has been turning out better than she had hoped, but she wasn’t ready to do that yet.
She walked in right after knocking, knowing Leah wouldn’t mind it. She was painting tonight, finishing up a base layer on her canvas. “Hey,” Leah said.
“Hey,” Haley replied, smiling. It was a strange thing to realize, but it had been a while since she’s last smiled so frequently. “What are you up to?”
“Oh, just…” She pointed at the barren canvas and sighed. “I don’t know. I thought I had an idea, but as soon as I started mixing the paint I started to doubt everything, so now I have a blue canvas.”
Haley felt her heart tightening. Leah had gotten into the habit of just saying things to her. She figured that was what a conversation with a significant other was supposed to be like, but Haley had never experienced openness like this. She would be honest whenever she could, but in thorny subjects she would usually skirt away. Leah would too, so she didn’t feel guilty. “Maybe you should take a break.”
Leah’s brows creased in a way Haley knew she wanted to argue, but she put her brush down. “Sure. You wanna do something?”
“You wanna take a walk? The moon is full tonight.”
She didn’t even seem to consider it, already making her way towards the door. Haley followed her, and the two of them strolled down the forest, admiring the scenery in comfortable silence. Beginning the conversation was the most awkward part. Once they got going, it was hard to get them to stop.
But there was something in Haley’s brain wanting to stop this. None of this made sense, she shouldn’t like Leah at all. The only problem was that she did, and a lot. “You have your camera now,” Leah pointed out once they had reached the lake.
Haley chuckled. “Yeah. This one isn’t one of my best ones, but it’s good for nature shots.” She actually loved taking wildlife photos. The Valley had so many interesting sights, she always found something new to photograph.
“Is that what you like the most?” Leah asked, as if she could read her mind. “I never see you taking photos of people.”
It was hard to be perceived like this, as the real Haley that was locked away underneath the layers and layers of fabricated self-confidence. So many layers people would often mistake it for arrogance. “Yes,” she replied, finding that the truth came out easy with her. “I think nature is fascinating. There’s a lot of life we don’t see, thriving in spite of the odds. And our Valley is special, I don’t know if you’ve noticed it yet.”
“I have, actually,” Leah said. “I noticed it when I was a kid, when my parents came here with me for the first time.” Haley raised her eyebrows. “Yeah, I know. I’m here because of a childhood memory.”
“I think that’s cute.” They were at the pier by the lake, and Haley sat on the edge. Leah did the same. “I think sometimes we take for granted a place like this, full of greenery. I know I do, way too often.” She shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess something from my hippie parents stuck with me.”
Leah turned to her, frowning. “Your parents are hippies?”
Haley rolled her eyes. “Ugh, why do you think Emily is like that?” Her parents weren’t real hippies, but something close to it. “They’re nature-loving, free-spirited, the-universe-always-has-an-answer kind of parents. At least we had a real house growing up, but they were barely around.” She paused, looking at the water. “They’re never home anymore.”
“Do you miss them?”
Haley hated that question, and she would hardly ever be honest about it. But this was Leah, and her heart trusted her more than she could explain. “Sometimes. I mean, they’re happy. They’re soulmates. But I wish they hadn’t sidelined us so often.”
There were so many points in her childhood all she wanted was to be able to talk to her parents. She wanted to show her mother she was doing well in school. She had great grades in History – her mother’s favorite subject. She wanted to sit with her and show off the fact she had memorized the basic timeline of the first Gotoro-Ferngill war, and hear her explain every single reason why war was terrible for all sides involved.
She wanted to have a father she could come to for advice. She wanted to have asked him what to do about her crush on Alex when she didn’t know if he was her soulmate. She wanted to talk to him right now about Leah, and ask him if he thought she was good enough for his girl. He would say yes, but Haley wanted to hear it from him.
“That sounds horrible. I’m sorry,” Leah said.
“It’s okay. I’ve learned to cope.” The moonlight was bright tonight, and the way it hit the lake was almost hypnotizing. Haley pulled out her camera, and tried to get a good shot of it. “But I think that’s why I don’t really want to move.” She got one she hoped would look good after she developed it. “Everyone thinks I’d do better if I moved, but I just want to stay in one place until I die.”
She put the camera away, hoping that wasn’t too grim. Leah was quiet for a moment. “You know… I thought I didn’t want that,” she said. “But to be honest… I don’t really know what I want. I spent so long doing what someone else thought was best for me that I just…”
She sighed. “I think that’s why it’s been so hard to make even the smallest painting. I have no ideas anymore, because I don’t know what I want to say. I barely know who I am.”
Haley smiled, feeling a kinship unlike any she’s experienced before. There was a bit of desperation mixed in there too. If Leah, a person she had always seen as this put together woman who knew what she was doing, didn’t know who she was, then who the hell was Haley?
Leah smiled back. “But it doesn’t matter. I think nobody knows who they are. Especially before finding a soulmate,” Leah said. “We put so much of ourselves in others, and we absorb so much of them, whether we notice it or not.”
“Am I rubbing off on you?”
Leah scooted closer, taking her hand. Haley let her. “I hope so.” She hoped not. Leah was interesting and unique, and Haley felt like a bunch of raccoons wearing a trench coat, just pretending to be a functional human. She reached out for her camera. “Can I try it?”
Haley handed it to her, briefly showing how to set it up. “I’ve already done it, so you can just shoot.” Leah pointed it towards a tree on the other side of the lake; its leaves catching the moonlight beautifully.
She took a picture, and smiled. “Alright. Show me how that comes out when you develop it.”
Haley smiled back. Before she could really understand what she was doing, she leaned in for a kiss. Leah only brought her closer. It was exactly like a magnet pulling her in, and Haley couldn’t stay away for too long.
Why had she been so scared before? Why was it still so hard, when in reality it couldn’t be easier?
Leah stared at her latest work in progress, wondering if she would ever be satisfied with it. She had a bad habit of not knowing when to stop, especially when she was painting. Every time she looked at it again, she felt like she could add another element, or change a certain color.
She had depicted the scenery of her night stroll with Haley the week before. She had used a mixture of dark greens and blues, the full moon serving as a backdrop and a nice point of light. But Leah felt like there was something missing still.
There was no time to work on it anymore, as she heard a knock on her door. She turned and saw Haley walking in, carrying a wicker basket and sporting a huge grin on her face. “Hey,” she said, lifting her sunglasses from her face. “Are you busy right now?”
Leah wiped her hands with a paint-stained towel. “Not really, why?”
“Because you have a date with me.”
She blinked. “Wait, did we plan something and I forgot?”
She laughed. “No, silly.” She showed off the basket. “It’s a sunny day and summer will be over in a few days, so I thought we could have a picnic!”
Haley sounded very peppy today, something Leah hadn’t really seen before. She was usually closed off, and their conversations had gone off into the deep end before ever skirting lighter topics. She didn’t know Haley even liked picnics, for one.
Leah did too, especially if they would be out in the forest. She smiled. “Okay, let me just change real quick.”
Changing only consisted of grabbing a new flannel and putting on some shorts, so soon the two of them were in the forest, close by the river. Haley had spread out a checkered cover for them to sit, and revealed the contents of her basket.
She took out two different salads, a regular one and a fruit one; a sliced up cake; and a wine bottle. She poured it out in the glasses she’d brought. “Wow, you really went all out,” Leah said, taking a sip of the wine.
Haley looked at her as if this was just the bare minimum. “Of course. I wanted us to have a fun date.” She took a bite of cake. “We’ve never had one before.”
Leah let that sink in for a moment, taking a bite of the salad. “Oh,” she said, noticing there was goat cheese among the leafy greens. “This is delicious, Haley. Did you make this?”
She shrugged. “Yes. No big deal, it’s just a salad.”
“And the cake?” She chewed on a blueberry, her cheeks red. Leah laughed. “Well, thank you, I love it.”
Haley smiled, small and shy, but soon recouped, turning the conversation into a different topic. They chatted for a while, this time about more mundane topics. Haley told her she loved sunflowers. Leah mentioned she was a wine connoisseur. They found bits and pieces of recognition in their respective family histories, marveling in the coincidence, but also finding the differences odd.
It made sense why they had both turned out the way they did, and it made even more sense why the universe had decided to pair them up. Leah believed in the hand of fate now more than ever. “I developed the pictures you took,” Haley said eventually, reaching into her purse for a small photo album. “They turned out pretty good.”
Leah took it from her, flipping through them. The full moon had helped with the lighting, but she still thought the pictures were a bit too dark. She saw there were more than just the ones she’d taken, and the difference was astounding.
Haley knew how to work with the low light, and the scenery came out clear and detailed. She could see the leaves on bushes on the other side of the lake, the water reflecting the sky in a way that almost made it look otherworldly. “Wow,” Leah said, mesmerized. “Haley, these are amazing!”
Haley made a face. “Yeah, they’re not that good.”
“Of course they are, I mean…” Leah scooted closer to her. “Look at the water, look at this tree in the corner, you can see everything!”
“That’s just the good camera.”
“You said it was one of your bad cameras.” Haley rolled her eyes. “Do you seriously not think you’re good at this? This is art, Haley, you’re an artist.”
She scoffed. “Oh, please, I’m not an artist.” She paused. “I don’t want to be an artist.”
Leah noticed how she had her arms crossed now. “Why not?”
Haley didn’t answer right away. She had finished her fruit salad, placing the container down with a bit too much force. “That’s your thing, not mine. I don’t want to be exactly like you just because we’re soulmates.”
She frowned, confused as to where this was coming from. “But I don’t do photography, you have proof in your hands I’m not good at it. Is it just because I call myself an artist?”
She hesitated again, and Leah knew this wasn’t a topic she liked all that much. “I just want to figure out who I am by myself,” Haley said, her voice low. “I don’t know how to explain it any better than this.”
Leah took her words in for a moment. She understood well what identity struggles were like. Not so much in the sense about having doubts about who she was, but by having others try to mold her into the shape they wanted. It was the most terrible thing she’s gone through, and she wouldn’t wish it on her worst enemy, let alone push that onto her own soulmate.
“Hey,” she said, placing a hand on Haley’s shoulder. She recoiled for a split-second, but then leaned into her touch. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to figure anything out right now, I’m not gonna pressure you into being anything.”
Haley smiled again, placing her hand on top of hers. “I trust you, but it’s just…” She trailed off, her gaze turned towards something in the distance. She frowned. “Leah, do you know that person?”
Her stomach dropped, and she almost didn’t want to turn around. She did, and found her worst nightmare standing right by Marnie’s ranch, staring back at her. Leah wasn’t much of a crier, but she felt her throat closing up, hoping this was all just an illusion.
But it wasn’t. Kel was right there. She was going to bring her back home. She was going to force her to take her old job back so they could start their family. She was going to say how silly it was for her to run away from her soulmate like this. “Leah?” Haley asked again, her voice grounding her back into reality for a moment.
“It’s Kel,” she managed to say. She hated how scared she sounded. “It’s my ex.”
Haley’s frown only deepened. “Your ex? She’s stalking you?” Leah did not expect that to be her first conclusion. “Oh, I’m about to give her a piece of my mind.”
Haley stood, and Leah grabbed her arm, trying to get her to stay put. “What are you doing?!”
“Something someone should have done a long time ago, apparently.” She pulled her arm away with surprising ease, and ran over to where Kel was standing, unimpressed and not intimidated at all. Leah followed her, not wanting Haley to get hurt.
“Hey!” Haley screamed. “Did you lose something here? Why are you staring at us?”
Kel had the gall to laugh. “Yeah, I lost something.” She turned to Leah. “Who the fuck is this?”
Haley rolled her shoulders back, even though she was already taller than Kel. “I’m Haley. Her soulmate.”
There was a beat of silence, followed by Kel bursting into laughter. “Don’t kid yourself, I’m Leah’s soulmate. Or as close to that as there can be.”
Leah forgot how much she had grown to hate the sound of Kel’s voice. She wanted to run back to her cottage, lock the doors, and never come out ever again. “As close as there can be?” Haley scoffed, hands on her hips as she took a step closer. “Is abuse as close as it can be, then? Is belittling, gaslighting, and being downright evil to your soulmate as close as it can be?!”
“Haley, please, it’s not worth it,” Leah tried to plea with her.
“Yeah, Haley,” Kel said with her typical winning grin, the one she always had when Leah had run out of arguments against her. “Not worth it fighting with her soulmate.” She turned to Leah. “Babe, I’ve been so patient with this little quarter-life crisis of yours, but come on, it’s been what, three years? You’ve had your fun, it’s time to come home now.”
Leah hated that tone. She hated the way Kel had the gall to come here and not realize that she wasn’t going back, even after three years. Her condescending certainty that she knew what was best for her grated on her nerves, and Leah wasn’t going to keep quiet any longer. “No,” she said.
Kel’s face fell. “What?”
“I’m not going back.” Her voice was a little louder this time. “I’m already home, where the fuck would I go with you?”
“You can’t possibly think this shithole is home, Leah.”
“Anywhere is better than being with you. Even if this place was a shithole, I would gladly stay here, with my soulmate.”
Kel chuckled. “Oh, please, Leah, you can do better than a dumb blonde.” She was about to keep talking, but Haley threw a punch right on her mouth. Leah stepped back, appalled but also a little bit vindicated.
Kel fell to the ground, whining in pain as she held her bloody mouth, and Haley cracked her knuckles. “And you better leave Leah alone if you don’t want to lose another one!” Haley screamed, and Leah noticed that Kel was holding a piece of her tooth in her hands.
The urge to help Kel was still in Leah, but she didn’t act on it. She wanted this to be over, and she hated the way it had escalated. Instead, she walked away, going back to her cottage. Haley followed her, but Leah didn’t look at her.
This was too much for her. She never wanted things to go this far. She was supposed to be the bigger person, to walk away from Kel as the clear moral winner. If she went as low as physical violence, was she even better than her? Leah hadn’t been the one throwing the punch, but she felt responsible for Haley’s actions now.
Haley, who was right on her tail, confused when she took a turn to her home and not to their picnic. “Wait, are you leaving?” Haley asked.
Leah stopped, sighing. “Yeah, sorry. Not really in the mood anymore.”
She just stood there for a moment. “Did I do something wrong?”
Leah was not in the mood for this, either. “That was just… a little too violent. We were just having a nice picnic, we were talking and having fun and–”
“And your ex ruined it. You see how this was her fault, right?” Leah didn’t answer, and Haley’s mouth hung open. “Right?”
Leah sighed again, already right at her doorstep. “Listen, Haley, we…” She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. “I just don’t think that was the best way to solve things. Yes, Kel is awful, but we shouldn’t stoop to her level.”
Haley was still in disbelief. “Leah, she deserved it!”
Yoba, she was tired. Just seeing Kel made her age about a hundred years, and she needed to be by herself for a while. As much as she wanted to keep going with the picnic. As much as she understood Haley was just protecting her, Leah wasn’t ready to deal with this yet.
Everything was too confusing between them still. “Thank you for the picnic,” she said. “It was lovely, seriously.”
Haley’s lower lip trembled, almost making Leah reconsider. “But?”
She hesitated. “But I think we need to take this even slower. I… I need some time to… process everything. I’m sorry.”
Leah expected Haley to fight back, to argue, to get demanding and violent and say Leah owed her her time, owed her her love. But Haley didn’t do that. “Okay,” she said, nodding. She put her sunglasses back on, and Leah knew it was to hide her tears. “You know where to find me.”
Haley walked away with a small smile. Leah felt the mistake heavy on her chest, but still closed the door, finally letting herself cry.
“And I used oak for this one,” Robin said, picking up the sample for a frame, showing Leah the intricate carvings on it. “I can show you how I did it, if you want.”
“That would be awesome,” Leah replied. She rarely got to see Robin’s work so up close, but she truly admired the craft that went into it. She loved the Stardew Valley Fair precisely because she got to see the results of so many different people’s crafts.
She wondered if she could ask Mayor Lewis if she could set up her own booth someday. “Good afternoon, Leah!” She turned, and saw Elliott walking up to her, Penny in tow. They were always together lately. It was cute, but also a little weird. “How are you enjoying our grand fair?”
“It’s been fun so far.” She smiled. “Robin was just showing me some of her woodwork.”
Penny leaned in to see, Elliott’s arms wrapped around her neck. It was as if they would disintegrate if they weren’t touching. “Oh, that does look beautiful!”
Robin smiled, but waved her off. “Nah, this is child’s play. One day I’ll manage to carve this on a round frame, then you’ll see what true mastery looks like.”
Elliott smiled. “Well, I, for one, think that–”
“Fuck this, I’m leaving!”
They all turned to the source of the sound, and found Haley running off from the fortune teller tent. Alex was close to her, and he ran up to try to talk to her. Leah couldn’t hear their conversation, but she caught when Haley looked in her general direction.
“Hails, calm down!” Alex said, reaching a hand out to her. She slapped him away, not raising her voice, but still storming out of the square, bursting into tears. She ran to her house, not looking at anyone, and slammed the door shut behind her.
“Oh, no,” Penny said. “I wonder what happened.”
Leah did not stick around to speculate, following her to her home. They haven’t been spending too much time together lately, but it didn’t mean that her feelings have dampened in any way.
They might even have grown deeper, but she would only know for sure after she found out what was wrong with Haley.
That fortune teller was a charlatan. That was the only explanation for this. Of course she didn’t know the future; she only found things out about you and spilled out the most perfect scenario possible to get you to pay her.
Because the things she’s told Haley could only happen in her dreams. Or maybe her nightmares? She wasn’t sure yet, because there were things in that vision she was not comfortable with yet.
They were close, according to Welwick’s vision. Inseparable, a picture of pure bliss to be envied by everyone else around them.
But Haley was Haley. Sure, her name sort of had Leah in it, in a convoluted and sick twist of fate, but she was still just Haley. She was her own person. She would love to be with Leah all the time, but did it have to be the way it always seemed to go with soulmates?
She noticed it in her own home, how her father seemed to only follow whatever her mother wanted. She was the one who actually wanted to travel the world. He was happy to tag along, but Haley would often question how much of himself he had let go to be with her mom, and if he was actually content with how his life turned out.
And then she left the tent, and saw the worst possible sight she had ever seen, and now here she was, wailing alone on her living room couch, wishing Leah was here with her.
Or maybe not, as this was embarrassing enough as it was.
To her dismay, the front door flew open, and Leah walked in, kneeling in front of her on the couch. They hadn’t spoken in a while, and Haley wouldn’t admit how much she’d missed her. “What happened out there?” Leah asked.
But Haley couldn’t stop sobbing, her nose clogging up, leaving her almost unable to breathe. Leah placed a hand on her knee, and Haley couldn’t stop thinking that if she scooted it up just a bit she would be touching her mark. There was something about it that felt just right.
And as if Leah could read her mind, her hand went up, fingers gently caressing the spot where the mark was. It soothed her more than anything else could. “Talk to me,” Leah said. “Please.”
Haley took in a deep breath, and the words poured out of her. “I just freaked out because I went into the fortune teller and she told me she saw you in my future and that we were always together and then I walk out of the tent and I see Elliott stuck to Penny like a fucking tick and I’m thinking I don’t want that! I barely know who I am I don’t want to lose myself into someone else even if that someone is you I love you but I want to be my own person too I don’t want to be a fucking unit I don’t want to be a couple’s costume or a couple’s retreat can’t I just love someone without becoming them completely in some weird cannibalistic way? I can’t…”
Her breath was short now, and she couldn’t speak anymore. Her words turned back into sobs, but she hoped she had gotten her point across. She liked where they were at right now, but she didn’t want to absorb all of Leah’s traits into her own.
She didn’t want to become an artist just because that’s what Leah was. Maybe photography was just a hobby, and there was nothing wrong with that. Maybe there was something else out there for her career wise, she just hadn’t found it yet.
Haley sobbed into her hands, wanting to apologize for word vomiting all of her feelings, but when she looked up at Leah, she saw her eyes shiny with tears. “You love me?” Leah asked.
Haley’s face burned. She hadn’t noticed she’d said that, but it was the truth. She didn’t want to hide it anymore, especially when the two of them have been on such shitty terms for so long. “Yes. I love you,” she repeated. “And it sucks being away from you. I know… I know you wanted time, and to be honest, I wanted too, but…” She wiped her nose. “And that’s the problem. I want to be with you so bad it hurts but I’m terrified I’ll lose myself in the process.”
Leah sat on the couch next to her, taking her hand. “Can’t we try to figure this out together?”
“I thought you wanted a break.”
She shook her head. “I know, I did, and… I think I’m ready for that to end, because I love you. And I think we’d work better if we talked more, not less.”
Haley had never felt as much hope as she did now. “Really?”
Leah smiled, her cheeks red. “I missed you. You were there for me when I needed you, and now I want to do the same for you.”
Haley smiled back, not bothering to wipe her tears away as she leaned in for a kiss. It was different in the same way their first kiss had been, but now she knew why. This was a kiss that felt like coming home.
They broke the kiss, but Haley kept her head leaned against her shoulder. Leah held her, her fingers carefully running down her hair. “I’m sorry for punching your ex.”
Leah pulled away, waving her off. “You were right. She deserved it. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” She pulled her back in. “And just for the record, if I ever become as clingy as Elliott, you have full permission to kill me.”
Haley blinked, and then laughed. That wasn’t the kind of joke she expected from Leah, thinking it was more along the lines of something she would say herself. She smiled, kissing her again. Maybe sharing some traits wasn’t really a bad thing, and there was a balance to be found.
And Haley was sure they could find it.
Leah had learned to let go of the mental terror Kel still kept in her mind, and finally managed to finish the painting she’d been struggling with for some time. After adding the silhouette of two girls against the moonlight, she finally felt like the scene was complete.
Haley was still not an artist, though she had strived to take more photos around town as of late. As soon as the pressure of a label was off her shoulders, she felt more comfortable in her own skin. Though not as comfortable as she felt being in Leah’s arms.