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The sickening - god-awful sound - of rage fueled strength connecting solidly with warm human flesh with a swift untempered precision ricochetted throughout the lobby of the compound. Two bright red lines of blood trickled from the nose that had just been punched and punched without apology - without hesitation - without the least little bit of remorse. The trickle turned flow from one blink to the next sending grown men in black suits who had been frozen in appalled amazement at the initial strike into a frantic scurrying stampede of arms and legs.
The only people in the room not moving were the two individuals caught up in the dramatic altercation and the one younger man standing slightly to the side watching the drama unfold - mouth agape - eyes round disks of stunned disbelief.
Earlier...
"That's it? That's all? That's absolutely everything, right?" Porsche asked Chay in that soft big brotherly way of his. "No more secrets - no more lies?"
Chay ducked his head but nodded. The past few hours had been rough. Hard - so freaking difficult - embarrassing, too. Confessing he had skipped his college interview, admitting he'd snuck out and got drunk and almost worse... yeah disappointing Porsche was never a fun thing. But admitting to why he'd made those poor choices and why he'd been acting so out of character of late was the absolute worst.
Heartbreak - such a lame excuse - even if it was the absolute truth. Of course, it was more than just Kim rejecting him - more than just Kim - if the truth were told - and it was told today - every last bit of it. Chay had come clean. He had spilled everything to Porsche this morning. Not just the things he'd been hiding - but the thoughts and feelings he'd been locking up inside himself as well.
Heartbreak was only a fraction of the emotional war that had been raging within him.
Betrayed - terrorized - confused - frustrated - devastated - bereft - so so lost- these came closer to describing Chay's mental and emotional state. He'd been trying to deal with the kaleidoscope of mayhem in his mind - but Chay was no actor - nor did he generally walk around displaying an emo-like disposition and Porsche had finally caught on.
Once the crazy of the minor family takeover attempt had past - once Porsche had finally had time to breathe without putting out yet another underworld fire, he had sought Chay out and looked at him - really looked at him like he used to do - and he had not liked what he had seen.
He'd snagged an affectionate arm around Chay's neck and pulled him away from where Chay had been chatting with Tankhun, Arm, and Pol, calling over his shoulder his apologies, deeming it long overdue brother bonding time.
It was something they once had had in abundance - spending time together. It was something they had never needed to create time for. Now it was a scarce thing - almost to be nonexistent - but Porsche it seemed had woke up this morning missing it - missing Chay - and now here they were.
They'd walked - Porsche's arm still hooked snuggly around Chay's neck - at a relaxed pace as Porsche led them down the corridor into the elevator out the lobby and into the bright sunny morning light. He'd shepherded Chay to one of the ritzy family cars - popped his hand out to one of the guards for the keys as he settled Chay into the passenger seat - then walked around to the driver's side door and got behind the wheel.
Chay had heard him tell the protesting bodyguards to follow behind because this was official and sacred business between brothers and required no interruptions from the outside. Porsche and Chay's privacy, he had said, was not debatable and absolutely mandatory and he had ordered the guards then not to give him any more lip, shushing them like they were children.
Chay had grinned at that - it had sounded so Porsche.
For the first time in a very long time Chay had felt himself relax. Porsche was here. Porsche was with him. And as had always been for as long as Chay could remember - having Porsche beside him meant everything was going to eventually be alright.
Because the truth was - right now - Chay was not okay. It was a harsh reality check that Porsche learned an hour later.
Porsche had driven them to the beach. A place that they both loved but had hardly ever been able to visit. Lack of funds being the biggest reason of all.
It was there, while sitting side by side on the soft sandy ground that Chay had come clean. It had taken very little prompting to tell his brother all. It usually never did. Or never really had before.
It was only recently that their lives and their relationship had taken a huge detour over rough and rocky terrain. Sitting here now, with just the two of them - with Porsche just being so Porsche - his Hia - that Chay had found his voice and once he had started talking he had not been able to stop.
He started at finding the letter the morning after Porsche left for his fake job, because truthfully that had been a sucker punch to his gut. He'd been scared for himself but even more so for Porsche. The timing of this mysterious island job with its - miracle of miracles - answers to all their problems had been more than suspect. Already knowing the depths that Porsche would sink in order to take care of Chay - protect him - that morning, he had told Porsche, had therefore been one of the worst of his life.
Chay had gone on then and talked about being lonely. Not only had Porsche disappeared but their uncle, too - completely. That had been disturbing, not because he missed his uncle per se, but because he had always been around but suddenly he was just... gone as gone as Porsche.
No Porsche - no uncle - it was... isolating.
That part of his conversation had then segued into his idol fanboy crush turned romance trauma. Chay focused on the good stuff first. The tutoring, the talking, the little dates - the Polaroids. Then he told Porsche about confessing and the mindblowing positive response he had received. He told Hia about all the wonderful things that had happened right up to being kidnapped and how his world had crumbled in more ways than one so shortly afterwards.
He'd learned so many things as the result of being taken. Hia was lying and in the mafia and his being in the mafia is what had gotten Chay chloroformed, kidnapped, kicked around and rescued... by none other than his boyfriend. His boyfriend who really wasn't his boyfriend at all but Kinn's younger brother searching for answers as he tried to protect his family - the family Porsche was now protecting. He told how he had found out through Tankhun and the subsequent devastating confrontation with Kim.
Things had been... difficult, he explained. Every single one of those things on their own had been excruciatingly painful. All of them combined - falling like dominoes - one right after the other - bursting his bubble - invading his peace of mind and destroying everything he thought was real - had been... too much.
So he cut off the old and went searching for something new - a new him - a new look - a new feeling - to grasp onto - to claim - to try to help him forget. He explained that was why he had dyed his hair, drank, even almost did drugs but was somehow stopped by the very person that had hurt him... walked away from him.
He also finally confessed that he had skipped his college interview, too.
He'd followed up that painful confession with the reminder of how he had almost been taken by a half dozen men - men he had found dead under his feet on the floor of Hum Bar - learning only later that the one who saved him... yet again was the one who kept walking away from him.
And to top it all off he told Porsche, that same person - Kim - sent him a song that seemed like a confession titled of all things - Why Don't You Stay. He'd just looked at his brother then, completely helpless and asked his brother the question Chay kept asking himself: Then why hadn't he?
Tears had come then. Harsh lung grating - throat shredding sobs. The dam had well and truly burst and he had thrown himself into his brother's arms and cried until he was exhausted.
Porsche had cried, too. Not harsh sobs but silent tears. Painful in their own way to see. He'd held Chay, rocked him - soothed and consoled. Then he'd apologized. He hadn't tried to make excuses either. Just apologized profusely, sincerely, with his heart in his eyes.
Forgiving Porsche was the easiest thing in the world to do. Porsche was Hia - brother and father and best friend. Hia had hurt him - hurt them both with his choice but the way things turned out - it had only been a matter of time before the mafia lifestyle had found and claimed them anyway.
Born into it - apparently. Yet another thing Chay was desperately trying to get his head wrapped around. Mother alive - step cousins - supposed family.
Some days weren't just difficult to get through he had admitted to Porsche. Some days seemed impossible. Trying to find his place - adjusting to it all - dealing with it - accepting it - it was a lot to ask.
He didn't fit in like Porsche. He wasn't even sure he wanted to. But that only left him on the outside looking in.
He was alone - lonely - a misfit.
And he had really really missed his big brother.
Porsche had wrapped him up tighter in his arms. His anger had been palpable. Anger with himself - fury with Kim - even frustration with Chay. With him mostly - he had been surprised to learn - not because of his recent questionable choices - but because the way he kept putting himself down.
That had made Chay smile.
The rest of the afternoon Porsche had spent sharing with Chay more about their new life and how he saw Chay's place in it. Chay had welcomed the topic and listened with fascinated interest. He'd learned by listening that though it may have seemed like Hia hadn't been paying attention to him in recent months, Chay had in fact, never been far from Porsche's thoughts. Just because Chay had felt excluded didn't mean he had ever been. Learning that had settled something deep inside Chay that had been floundering almost drowning him.
Chay learned he wasn't the only one struggling to find his place. More than that - Chay finally realized that Porsche's struggle had never only been about himself but them. He had just done it in true older brother overprotective fashion - keeping his worries and struggles to himself in the name of protection.
Porsche and he had rolled their eyes at each other over this particular realization. They'd both agreed then that the lies needed to stop. Chay was old enough for the harsher realities of life. He was also old enough to own up to his mistakes. Neither had reason to lie to the other. Both would be there for the other unconditionally no matter what.
They had finally headed home after so much communication. Chay felt lighter - less burdened - even hopeful. It was an amazing feeling after months of troubling uncertainty.
In the car on the way home Porsche had worked the conversation back around to Kim. He'd started asking a lot of questions. Having carried the heavy secret for so long, it was a relief to answer them. Despite the ache never far from his heart, talking about Kim felt good in some strange way.
Sharing with Porsche all the things he had longed to tell him at the time - even months later - after Kim and he no longer were whatever they had been - was... nice. Revisiting the good memories along with the painful ones with the most important person in the world to him helped tremendously.
Porsche's responses validated him, too. The confusion and anger and embarrassment lessened. He felt less foolish as Porsche commented and responded to him throughout with comments like - no wonder you did - I would have felt the same way - and I don't blame you!
The last one had really soothed the hurt and naive ignorance that had shadowed him ever since Kim admitted to using him before walking away. Porsche made it difficult for him to continue to feel stupid and he especially made it impossible for him to continue feeling guilty. Porsche assured Chay he hadn't sold Porsche out nor had anything he said been used against Porsche or hurt him. Kim - he reminded Chay - had been barking up the wrong tree to begin with. Porsche knew with one hundred percent cetainty - above anything else in the world - that his brother could never and would never hurt him. His faith in Chay remained untarnished.
Chay had wanted to cry again when Porsche had assured him of that. Tears of relief this time. Porsche had reached over then and ruffled his hair as if sensing the depths of his feelings.
Arriving back to the large intimidating complex of cold glass and impenetrable steel - that he now called home - that housed even colder and steelier individuals in its depths was easier this time - less foreign - less unwelcoming. He glanced over at Porsche - his Hia - his own personal man of steel. Chay grinned. Superman had nothing on him!
They got out of the car, Porsche circling around to him, once again slinging his arm around his shoulders as they walked in together, guards flocking them. Porsche was yammering about nothing in particular, as was his habit, with Chay only half-listening - his mind mostly blank - his body softly humming in quiet satisfaction - until Porsche froze in place. His arm succeeded in freezing Chay, too. Porsche's harsh - fucking bitch - said up under his breath - popped the bubble Chay had been existing in the last few hours.
Chay knew before he even looked up who Porsche was referring to. Considering how they had spent the day and who they had mainly spoke about - the fucking bitch - was pretty obvious.
Chay slowly lifted his head, tentative eyes landed on calm ones - Kim's. He was staring at Chay purposely, hoping it seemed, to gain the younger man's attention.
Attention gained, Chay thought in trepidation, glancing up at his brother, who after the slightest hesitation started heading straight towards the third heir, Chay in tow.
Chay watched Kim glance towards Porsche before looking back at Chay. Kim's expression didn't change but his stance subtly did. Considering Porsche's own expression Chay couldn't blame him.
Chay couldn't help but notice how good Kim looked, though he did look tired and a bit thinner. Chay was surprised to find he could look at Kim with calm - less anger - more softness - even understanding. Being a Theerapanyakul could not be easy. And Chay could totally understand Kim's desire to protect his brothers.
It could be said that Chay was simply a casualty of war in Kim's - most likely never ending - personal battle to keep those he loved safe. But judging from the song he had sent Chay - his less than idol presentation before him - and the way he was staring at Chay now - Chay had a feeling Kim was as much of a victim in his own way.
The realization was staggering and Chay was not sure what to do with it. The urge to talk to him was strong. He felt ready to ask the hurtful questions. More than that - he was ready to listen to the painful answers. And he wanted to know more than anything just what was it that Kim wanted - from life - from his family - from Chay.
Before he could even contemplate the best way to go about approaching him though, Porsche stopped and disengaged himself from Chay, his hands resting briefly on top of Chay's shoulders with a short sharp directive of - stay here.
Chay obeyed without question, not expecting in a million years Porsche's next play.
In two long determined strides Porsche headed straight for Kim and before Chay could even open his mouth to say a word, his brother had hauled off and popped Kim right in the nose. The sound of hard bone connecting with soft skin, tissue, and cartilage was a sound like no other. It was brutal and gross and oh so damaging as evidenced by the blood that slowly seeped then began pouring from each nostril.
Chay sucked in a deep breath of shock. Conflicted between - of my god I can't believe he did that and oh my god I love my brother for beating up my ex who hurt me - Chay stayed trapped in the spot he stood. But then Kim's nose started bleeding more heavily and the river of red galvanized Chay more than anything else could. But before he could move, a loud screech and a rainbow of bright colors flashed by Chay and pushed Porsche away from Kim.
"Porsche!" Tankhun yelled, his hands fluttering around Kim's head before he finally just started using the sleave of his flowing brightly covered tunic to wipe at the blood.
Arm rushed up to Tankhun with a box of tissues and some towels, his eyes shooting towards Porsche in a - what the hell man - look.
Tankhun busied himself, mopping at the blood before he started trying to stem the flow. His angry eyes kept flashing to Porsche but he hadn't said another word, just kept fretting around his little brother momma bear style.
Kim had yet to say a word.
Porsche had remained quiet as well. He stood legs braced apart, arms folded across his chest, eyes pure loathing as he watched Tankhun clean up the mess of Kim that Porsche had made. His body language screamed unrepentant cockiness, infuriating Tankhun more.
Once Tankhun deemed Kim okay-enough he whipped his attention and rage onto Porsche. "How dare you! Who do you think you are?" he seethed.
Chay stood frozen, scared for Hia. The last thing he wanted was for him to be punished because of Chay. He stepped up to Porsche and lay his hand on his shoulder prepared to tell him to stop but Porsche started talking first and by his belligerent tone Chay knew he had no intention of stopping.
"I'm Chay's hia, that's who!" he snarled, his eyes remaining glued to Kim's. "Chay - the person he," Porsche said, pointing and digging the tip of his index finger directly into Kim's chest, "used and disguarded with asshole-like lethalness you Theerapanyakul's excel at! Well he fucking picked on the wrong person!" Porsche growled.
Chay felt eyes - a lot of eyes turn and focus on him. He wanted to lower his own - burrow into Porsche's back and hide but he didn't. He kept his head up with a strength he didn't know he possessed and kept his eyes directed on Tankhun because he didn't know if he could trust himself to look at Kim just yet.
Tankhun's eyes immediately focused on Chay - countless questions staring back at him.
"Mini P? What's this have to do with him?" Tankhun asked anger warring with doubt and disbelief.
"I'd say ask your brother but he's a fucking lying liar who lies so that would be a waste of time. So, let me sum it up for you. He approached Chay for information on me, he seduced him - then discarded him. He's a bitch that needs his ass beat and I just so happen to have the time and definitely the inclination to be the one to do it!" Porsche suddenly canted his head at Tankhun. "You got a problem with that?"
Tankhun looked shocked then hurt. He stared from Porsche to Chay, his eyes softening when they landed on him. After a long look he turned and looked at his youngest brother his voice less angry and a lot more sad.
"Kimmy you didn't," he said. "Please tell me you didn't do what he said," he pleaded. "I know you're nosy and I know you're protective but Mini P... Chay? Your instincts would have told you immediately that he was harmless in any treacherous way. He's a triple threat to someone's heart maybe but this baby doesn't have an evil bone in his body! It's clearer than that grossly bleeding nose on your face so tell me please, that Porsche is mistaken, confused, completely wrong!"
Kim just stared at his oldest brother, his hand with a towel resting below his nose, controlling the bleeding. His silence answered for him. His guilt obvious.
Tankhun sighed raggedly and closed his eyes. Chay was surprised to see how upset he became. Despite Kim being his brother Tankhun was hurt by his actions - hurting for Chay.
Before Chay could think about how that made him feel Tankhun seemed to shake off his hurt and in a flash his arm rose up and out striking swiftly so that the palm of Tankhun's hand landed flush with Kim's cheek, the loud thwack resounding throughout the large room leaving nothing behind but deafening silence.
"I taught you better than that Kimmy! Shame on you!" he shrilled out, clearly deeply shamed by Kim's actions.
Chay watched Porsche's eyes flash with incredulity before a quiet satisfaction settled in their brown depths. Chay bulked and blinked in amazement. He himself was flabbergasted. He could not imagine Porsche ever smacking him like that - let alone doing it in a room full of people no matter how much he may deserve it. Chay's tummy took a nosedive as he glanced at Kim - bloody nose and red cheeked Kim.
He looked pitiful and not just because of the blood and growing welt. It was his expression, too - and his eyes. They were dull and sorrowful. It was not the Kim that Chay was used to.
And he did not like it.
Chay was about to step in front of Porsche and Tankhun - not to shield Kim he told himself - but only to calm things down. Things were getting out of hand not to mention violent and Chay just wanted it to stop.
Before he could move though the loud clap of footsteps crossed the marbled floor towards their direction. Chay looked up to see Kinn walking their way, his fierce brow downturned in obvious ire.
"What the hell is going on?" he demanded looking at his little brother in appalled horror before turning to look at Tankhun and Porsche with incredulous anger. "The fuck?" he bellowed, stepping up to Kim to check out the glaring damage of his face.
"Ask your brother!" Porsche snarled at the same time Tankhun replied, "Ask the little brat who I absolutely did not raise!"
Kinn looked around both of them to look at Chay who stared back with round eyes and a guilty expression. Though he knew he had done nothing wrong he still felt somewhat responsible for the debacle unfolding.
"Still," Kinn said with a frown, "Punching - slapping? Is that really necessary?" he asked.
"Yes!" both Porsche and Tankhun snapped back.
Kinn looked back at Kim, automatically taking over the doctoring of his abused face. "So, what did you do this time to deserve this?" he asked Kim.
Kim had still not said a word this entire time and it appeared he was going to continue to hold his silence. Kinn groaned in frustration and looked back up at Porsche. "Care to share so we can clear this up?"
Porsche laughed but the sound wasn't filled with mirth - more like murder. "Your fucking little brother Kinn, while I was busy protecting you - sought out my unprotected one and sweet talked his way into Chay's life using his idol wiles just so he could get some recon about me and then bounced with a cold savagery I am sure your father would very much approve of."
Chay sucked in a hiss of breath as did a few others. That last line was a low blow that anyone close to the three brothers would understand. Kinn got the message loud and clear.
He turned to Kim. "Seriously," he said more than asked.
Chay could tell Kinn automatically believed Porsche's accusations and was disappointed but not surprised by his brother's manipulative behaviors - just mostly resigned.
With a low growl he flicked Kim hard on the forehead while saying, "Dick move baby brother!"
Chay winced at the very solid thump not a bit surprised when a large red circular shape formed on Kim's brow. As with all the other blows literally dumped on his head in one way or the other, Kim remained silent, simply accepting the abuse as his due.
He didn't defend himself. He made no excuses. He stood tall and silent and accepted it all. It was maybe the best sort of apology Kim could have ever given Chay.
From living here, Chay had learned a lot about the third heir. He was arrogant, proud, and aloof. He was a prince in every way minus an actual crown. He was cold, calculating, and down right scary to the majority of those who worked here. His reputation proceeded him and despite that - he'd stood here in front of everyone and let himself be berated and attacked without a word or action of self defense. He'd been punched, smacked, and thumped - bloodied and bruised - and he'd taken every lick with a humble acceptance that couldn't be any more obvious to Chay; the man was truly sorry for what he had done.
Most people would just aplogize. After watching this exhibition Chay couldn't help but think it was definitely, by far, the easiest and least painful solution. But these Theerapanyakul's were a different breed - lived by a different code. One day maybe Chay thought he might figure it out.
Until then...
Chay finally took that step forward and planted himself in front of Kim. Facing his brother's and Kim's he spoke - his voice affectionate but firm.
"I appreciate the support and funny enough I think Kim does, too - but enough is enough. No more hitting," he said looking at Porsche. "No more slapping," he said, eyeing Tankhun. "And no more thumping!" he said, looking at Kinn, his tone belied though by the small giggle that escaped.
He clapped his hand to his mouth but he knew he was already, too late. The mental image of Kinn thunking Kim on the forehead like they were everyday average school aged kids and not the scary baddass mafiosos people whispered about in fear simply became too much and before he knew it giggles turned to chuckles and chuckles to outright laughter as the strangeness of these people - his family - enveloped him like a warm hug.
Porsche loved him above all others. Tankhun loved and protected him. Kinn loved and stood up for him. And Kim... maybe even Kim loved him, too.
And they all displayed that love in the most ridiculous ways! But it made it no less love - no less meaningful.
He'd left the house this morning lost and lonely. He'd walked out confused and sad - a complete and total mess. But in the space of an afternoon that had all changed. He'd opened his ears and eyes and heart again.
And he learned to laugh again, too.
His laughter was contagious. It swept the room in a wave. Low chuckles rose and flowed around him. He looked at Porsche that was grinning at him with pride. Tankhun and Kinn were smiling in affection. Many of the guards, too winked and smiled at him.
Bracing himself, laughter finally under control, he turned to face Kim not sure at all what to expect but oddly not surprised to see a soft smile of tenderness looking down at him in his own show of humor. Chay smiled back tentatively then more broadly as he let himself trust what his eyes were seeing.
"Umm..." Chay mumbled. "I think we need to get you cleaned up and checked out," he said trying to ignore all of the curious eyes watching them.
Kim didn't say anything, simply nodded back at Chay in agreement.
Chay grabbed his wrist and turned back to face his brother.
"Thanks Hia," he whispered, his eyes shining with love.
Porsche grinned back with pride as if he had created the bloody mess with this very outcome in mind. He winked at Chay, signaling his support. Though Porsche had been angry with Kim, Hia had clearly interpreted his subsequent actions in much the same way Chay had and understood Chay's need for clarification... maybe even in time reconciliation.
Tankhun and Kinn winked at him, too as well as at Kim. They all seemed to understand. Better than that - they supported them both.
Chay and Kim had a ways to go... a lot to clear up - but who knew what could happen given communication and honesty and love... Chay only had to look as far back as this morning and all that had happened to know the answer to that...
Absolutely anything...
Oh what a difference a day had made!
For the first time in a very long time Chay couldn't wait to see what would happen next!