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Part 2 of Tri-Realm Business Daily
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2023-01-15
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Proposal Ideas.pom

Summary:

U://Projects/Archive/Request For Proposals/Templates - Outdated DO NOT USE/Old/To Delete/Delete 2/Cursed Files/Seriously Don't Use/Trash/Proposal Ideas.pom
(Hades organizes his thoughts.)

Notes:

Inspired by scenes through 227; no fast pass spoilers through 230.

This fic is listed in the Tri-Realm Business Daily series, which is really two stand-alone companion pieces rather than a true series. You can read the accompanying fic at the link below.

Work Text:

U://Projects/Archive/Request For Proposals/Templates - Outdated DO NOT USE/Old/To Delete/Delete 2/Cursed Files/Seriously Don't Use/Trash/Proposal Ideas.pom

User: Hades

Security: Private (only user Hades can access this file)

Last edited: 15 seconds ago

 

1. Romantic dinner out, followed by a moonlit stroll to the cliffs overlooking Styx, then ask her

  • Pros: classic, romantic (she likes romance), she wants to go on a dinner date
  • Cons: cliche

 

2. Romantic dinner out, have the maitre d' put the ring in her glass, the dessert, etc

  • Pros: also classic, romantic, etc.
  • Cons: cliche, a choking hazard, not safe food-handling practices, also a GIANT HORRIBLE CLICHE 

 

3. Fill the bedroom with flowers and ask her there

  • Pros: private setting, she likes flowers
  • Cons: she can grow flowers from nothing on her own any time she likes!! She doesn't need them from me!!!

 

4. Tie a ring to one of the dog's collars and have her call them to her, then find it

  • Pros: dogs
  • Cons: serious concern she might give the dog all her attention and not notice the ring; dog might take this opportunity to misbehave

 

5. Get a new dog and tie the ring to THEIR collar

  • Pros: new dog!!
  • Cons: again, she might not notice the ring; Cerberus would get jealous and cause a scene; still not "supposed" to be getting any more dogs 
  • For Followup: challenge need for continuing dog limit in next session 

 

6. Take her ring shopping "just for fun," let her pick her favorite, and ask her on the spot

  • Pros: she likes shopping despite her protests; she's guaranteed to get something she likes
  • Cons: what if she doesn't actually see anything she likes and just picks something to humor me; there's already a whole secret ring closet she could visit in our house 
  • 6a (variation): same plan but in the secret ring closet

 

7. Visit Sicily, ask her to show me her favorite place, propose there as the sun goes down

  • Pros: Sicily is beautiful; making new memories with less stress than our last visit
  • Cons: fuck all sun gods. Also, the mortal realm is kind of her mother's domain, is that weird

 

8. Go to Demeter and formally ask for Persephone's hand

  • Pros: traditional, clearing the air, maybe rebuilding bridges
  • Cons: undermining Persephone's agency re: making her own choices; a meaningless gesture because I fully plan on marrying her regardless of the answer; doubtful Demeter would go for it in any case

 

9. Propose on her coronation, once the after-after-afterparty wraps up

  • Pros: invests her with power fully on her own behalf, w/o any potential consort implications; hopefully makes a good day even better
  • Cons: possibly stealing her thunder; could make a long day even more stressful; what if we're both tired and drunk and just want to go to sleep

 

10. Order expansion to her temple and propose at the dedication

  • Pros: her temple needs to be updated for her new role anyway; she likes visiting the mortal realm
  • Cons: thunder-stealing again
  • For Followup: assign report on temple status and potential expansion 

 

11. Add a rooftop garden to the house, give it to her, ask her there

  • Pros: I think she misses being surrounded by growing things and I want her to have that; something of her own to make it seem more like our home, not my house she moved into 
  • Cons: hard to hide construction from her; dogs get into enough trouble without going on the roof

 

12. Breakfast in bed

  • Pros: she likes breakfast; low pressure situation
  • Con: feels slapped together

 

13. Declare her birthday Persephone Day, propose at the first annual Persephone Day Parade

  • Pros: she deserves a parade
  • Con: her birthday is so far away; also why do I keep planning celebrations for her and then making them about me and my scheming 
  • For Followup: order Persephone Day planning to begin regardless of proposal 

 

14. Picnic in her new Tartarus landscape

  • Pros: it's the most beautiful place in the realm; emotionally meaningful location; still a secret from most other beings 
  • Cons: ???? 

 

15. Just wait until the moment seems right, summon a ring, and ask her then

  • Pros: spontaneous; less chance of her finding out ahead of time 
  • Cons: what if no moment ever seems right enough and I never ask her; what if I blurt it out sometime dumb and disappoint her 

 

16. Break ground on her touchy-feely vision for a happy afterlife (?) for deserving mortals (?), show her the progress, ask her to be a permanent part of my life just like she's a permanent part of the Underworld

  • Pros: values her ideas; respects her shared ownership of the realm
  • Cons: still unclear how this system works (when is the punishment?)

 

17. Dedicate a new Underworld library to her

  • Pros: she loves books
  • Cons: she may be distracted by all the books

 

18. Skywriting

  • Pros: Hermes would probably cut me a deal 
  • Cons: literally everything is wrong with this idea and also with me

 

19. 

 

No matter how much he tried to think of the next idea, the curser just blinked steadily at Hades, mocking him. He groaned and rested his forehead against the mercifully cool wood surface of his desk. 

The thought of making Persephone his bride filled him with delicious anticipation and solemn awe. But he truly had no idea how he was supposed to ask her. 

Should he put on a big event, to show the depth of his feelings and declare his intentions to all the realms? He remembered how glorious and awful she'd been while Titan-sized and glowing with her fully realized power. Surely Hades needed to craft a proposal of the same magnitude! 

But then he also remembered how small and fragile she felt, tucked against his chest while they told secrets atop the pillows. Maybe it was better to stage something intimate and personal, just for the two of them? How could any one event encapsulate their relationship?? He moaned and snapped his laptop closed without looking up. 

Hades had thought about reaching out for help with this next step, but the candidates were few and far between. Zeus asked Hera to be his so long ago, in a world barely comparable to this one. (Hades didn't even remember if they'd invented rings back then.) And it would be weird to ask Zeus about this, what with his constant philandering—never mind Hades and Hera's whole secret history thing.

Poseidon would honestly give his best advice, he always meant well, but he and Amphitrite had something completely different from what Hades shared with Persephone. (Poseidon had famously asked Amphitrite when they were out of their minds on puffer fish. When they still thought it was a good idea after sobering up, the nuptials went raucously ahead. It had been a hell of a party, but not quite what Hades wanted for Kore.)

Hecate liked Persephone but she was always liable to make sarcastic suggestions, or worse: suggestions that sounded great until put into action, when it then became clear they were sarcastic. Styx and Nyx and the older chthonic gods didn't think of marriage the same way the younger cohort did. They probably wouldn't understand his dilemma at all.  And there was no way Hades wanted to ask Hermes or Thanatos or any of the other kids for help on this. 

Hades thumped his head on the desk a few times. He didn't want to go to Hera or Eros, either, even though it would fall under either of their duties. Hera was out for the whole secret history thing, and Eros would just be too gleeful about it all. (Somehow Hades didn't think the wedding planner should be more excited than the groom.)

Hephaestus was probably the best option, since he'd recently gotten married himself. Yet Hades wasn't sure he had such a close personal relationship with his nephew. Besides, he wasn't sure how to ask without making an insult of it: so I noticed you successfully proposed to a goddess way out of your league. Tell me, how exactly did you pull that one off? Oh no reason, I just want to steal your moves. 

"I am a competent, powerful god," Hades told himself. He lifted his head and glared around his empty office, then stood up and walked away from his desk. He scrubbed his hands through his hair and went to stare out the window instead. The Underworld stretched below him in all directions, bathed in soft eternal twilight. 

"I am a competent, powerful god," he repeated. "This is within my abilities. I can figure this out."

A cloud of bats flew past, all wearing distinctly pitying expressions. Hades scowled back at them. Perfectly normal behavior all around. 

He thought back to the dreams and fantasies he'd had about proposing during their time apart. There had been plenty of those, plenty of dreams on every subject relating to Kore. 

He knew what he wanted to say, when the time came: that standing beside her (or before her, or behind her, wherever she needed him) was the greatest honor of his life, and that if she'd have him, he was hers until that final day when all the gods and Titans and mortals turned to so much dust in the wind.

He could picture perfectly the moment she would say yes: the trembling in both their hands as he slipped her ring into place, the rush of her heartbeat as he'd sweep her into his arms, the fierce grip of her fists in his blazer (or jacket or coat or t-shirt or hair) as they kissed. 

Yet none of the details before that came to him with any clarity. He didn't know how to set up a proposal as an event. Big sweeping gesture, something just for the two of them, he couldn't decide. Hades waved one hand, opening the office's picture window, and let the cool evening wind rustle through the room. 

The trickiest part of this situation, he thought, was that normally he wanted to go to Persephone when he needed help thinking something through. Yet the proposal was supposed to be a surprise for her, so of course he couldn't ask Kore for her thoughts. 

Right?

He frowned. 

…he knew Kore hated people making decisions regarding her without first seeking her input. Hades knew she wanted to let their relationship develop in its own time, without outside considerations interfering. And while he loved to surprise her, he also knew she felt more comfortable having clear expectations. 

He groaned and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. (He definitely regretted giving up smoking right about now.) This was supposed to be a happy occasion, right? Why was it so complicated?

Maybe he did need to ask her opinion. He sighed and mentally marked the whole matter For Followup. In the meantime—

His phone gave a series of dignified dings. Glancing over, Hades saw he needed to pick Russell up in 15 minutes or he'd be charged the extended stay fee again. Then after he dropped the beast off at his house, he was heading to Kore's for dinner. The thought brightened him up. 

Maybe (probably) he wouldn't propose tonight, but that didn't change anything immediately. He'd been clear with his intentions, and what was it she'd told him? "Don't ever think I don't want to be your wife," he repeated to himself. Maybe it would all wait, at least a few days more. 

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