Dreams of Eternity

As she lay in her coffin, utterly consumed by grief over the death of her parents, Utena dreamed that a prince had visited her. He was handsome, noble and gallant, bearing a gentle smile on his lips; he dried her tears and showed her something worth keeping living for. He showed her something eternal.

In her dream, so admired by him, she decided to become a prince herself, and as she continued to dream, Utena grew up to be so strong, courageous and noble. She felt she had in her hands the power to perform miracles and revolutionize the world if she so wanted to.

She dreamed of going to a strange school, of sword fights and castles in the sky; she dreamed that the prince who had comforted her had become so badly corrupted that his deceit cut her deeply. She also dreamed of a witch as beautiful, dangerous and as ancient as the world itself. And in her dreams, Utena gave all of herself for that woman who was actually just a princess who, like her, needed to be shown a reason worth to continue living for; she needed to see something eternal.

Utena fought as hard as she could, without stopping; insistently, desperately… and when that world began to crumble around her while she held the beautiful princess’ hand with weak and bloody fingers, a deep sadness took over her being, because, despite everything she'd done and how far she had come, in the end… she couldn't save her.

When she finally woke back in the real world, still inside the coffin, the strange dream slowly faded away until it became nothing more than a faint memory, kept deep in her subconscious. But somehow she still managed to remember the strength, courage and nobility that had permeated her heart in her dreams, and with the same resolution, the little girl rose and left her coffin to face the harsh and sad reality that had become her life.

And so it was, gathering as much courage and strength as a seven-year-old child could muster, that Utena stood in the middle of a crowd of strangers and watched with dull eyes and numb body as her parents' coffins were laid under the ground, without having the slightest idea of what would become of her from now on.

She had no family, no relatives, no one; she was truly alone in the world.

It was at that very moment, as a single tear slipped cold and bitter down her pale little cheek, that Utena lifted her head and saw her for the first time.

She was a stunningly beautiful woman with a foreigner air as the girl had never seen before; she looked more like a magical being, coming from an entirely different world. Graceful and delicate, wearing a discreet black gown to suit the occasion over her dark chocolate skin, she had very, very long hair that fell from her shoulders in a voluminous violet cascade past her waist; the small smile that rested on her lips was polite and measured, carrying a hint of sadness under the circumstances. She was standing a few feet away, but the woman's eyes, as green and bright as emeralds, were fixed only on the child.

For the briefest of moments, Utena forgot her parents' deaths and everything else too, lost in that gaze so intense and deep that it seemed to contain all the kindness and compassion of the world.

The man beside her nudged her in the woman's direction and introduced her.

“This is Anthy Himemiya, she will become your legal guardian from now on and will look after you. It's very sudden, but don't worry, I can guarantee you'll be in good hands…”

The child's blue eyes followed the woman's approach and watched as she gracefully kneel before her; delicate, dark hands held her small pale ones in a warm, reassuring touch, and the girl noted with mild curiosity the silver ring with the crest in the shape of a rose that she wore on one of her fingers.

“Utena…”

The woman, Anthy, spoke her name, her voice as soft and harmonious as the singing of angels; it enveloped and cradled her with tenderness, and immediately the girl felt a wave of calmness wash over her. Anthy looked at her, her gaze ever gentle, ever warm, stroking her small hands with such care and reverence as if they were made of fragile glass and might break at any moment.

“I've come a long way to meet you…” The woman whispered to her, her green eyes never leaving her face. “I know this is a very difficult moment for you right now, I wish our meeting had taken place in happier times, but you will not face this on your own; I swear to you that from now on you will never be alone. I will always be here by your side, with you. Always, Utena. Always."

And despite never having seen her before in her short life, that promise was made in such a fervent and true way that involuntarily Utena felt her small heart reach out and trust that mysterious and magical woman, who in just five minutes in her presence had been able to give the sad and lonely child the prospect of a future.

Utena believed her because inside she felt this was the right thing to do and that somehow everything would be okay; Utena believed her because in those emerald green eyes shone something eternal.

The drive took about two hours; someone had previously packed all of the girl's belongings, so when Utena got into the vehicle holding her small suitcase against her chest, she didn't look back because there was nothing left for her there. They went the entire time in silence, the woman driving and the child sitting beside her, watching the scenery go by and quickly change through the window.

When they finally arrived at their destination, the girl gazed at the place that would be her new home from now on; it was a beautiful stone house with two floors, painted in a mixture of white and light blue in the same shade as the child's eyes, surrounded by a large and beautiful garden that was notoriously very well maintained and which was currently displaying blooming flowers of several colors and fragrant. Inside it was warm to the eye and pleasantly inviting; various furniture occupied the living room, the kitchen, the two bedrooms, the library and it even had a music room that contained a big black piano.

The bedroom prepared for her contained everything a child her age could ever want to; toys, children's books, stuffed animals and so many other things that made Utena remain frozen in the center of the place, staring at all that without being able to immediately show any reaction. Everything was things she liked, everything was so very perfect that it seemed as if she had left the real world to step inside a fairy tale, so clearly made especially for her, carefully down to the smallest detail that the girl was overwhelmed and suddenly it became too much; the past hours come crashing down upon her all at once.

Her small body trembled and Anthy, who was patiently waiting beside her, knelt down once again in front of her, a dark hand resting gently on her shoulder.

“Utena… It’s okay.” The woman whispered understandingly, and blue eyes full of tears that didn't fall right away met her gentle green ones. “You may let them go.”

The girl shook her head, her long straight pink hair swaying over her rumpled white and black dress.

“They told me I had to be strong…”

A soft smile dressed Anthy's lips and the hand that had been on her shoulder came up to caress one of her pale cheeks tenderly.

“Being strong doesn't mean you can't feel or let it show on the outside; you've been through so much… I don't know anyone who has shown greater strength than you do now."

The woman opened her arms then.

“Come here, dear…”

And Utena let herself sink into that soft, reassuring embrace, which enveloped and rocked her gently as her tears finally flowed abundantly, and all the while Anthy patiently whispered to her in that harmonious voice that everything would be alright.

The first smile she gave in her new life came half an hour later, after the dark-skinned woman had gently finished drying the girl's face with a handkerchief and Utena looked sheepishly at her guardian's dark dress, wrinkled and wet from her hands and tears, but paying it no mind, Anthy smiled down at her.

"There is someone who, as much as I was, is also very anxious to meet you."

With a small nudge she mentioned for the girl to approach the bed, and with very wide eyes Utena saw one of the stuffed animals that seemed to be sleeping abruptly come to life and turn his head towards her; he too seemed to widen his eyes and pointed suddenly at the child.

“Chu?! Chu!! Chu chu chu!!!”

“It-it's alive?!” Utena exclaimed in disbelief and Anthy chuckled graciously.

“Yes, Chu-Chu, it's her; I promised I'd bring her home today, didn't I?" The woman answered him with the naturalness of someone who was already obviously used to the small monkey-like creature.

And that was all the confirmation needed for Chu-Chu to suddenly jump into the startled seven year old's lap and grab hold of her black and white dress with a surprisingly strong grip.

“Well, well, where are your manners, Chu-Chu? You will end up scaring her!” Anthy scolded him graciously, then addressed her little charge. “Let me introduce you; Utena, this is Chu-Chu; he is a dear long-time friend of mine.”

With her initial surprise fading into curiosity, the girl's blue eyes peeked at the small monkey-like creature in her arms.

“Chu-Chu?” She called out to him shyly and he tilted his head in response, emitting a soft, suspiciously emotional chu, and she found the gesture adorable.

Utena gave him a childish wide grin and with renewed mood she offered him a finger and shook it in greeting after Chu-Chu had taken it in his small hands.

“Nice to meet you, Chu-Chu! I'm Utena Tenjou; would you be my friend, too?”

The child asked innocently, and she giggled at the funny look she saw be exchanged between the woman and the small creature.

In the happy years of her childhood that followed, Utena found in Anthy someone thoughtful, sweet and always, always present, and she was sure that in her entire life she would never find another person like her.

Her guardian offered her the most precious gifts she could have given her at that time; her friendship and her time, and at all waking moments the woman with long violet hair devoted herself to tending her with the utmost care. Her parents' death still brought her down from time to time, but Anthy and Chu-Chu always chased away the shadows from her little heart and filled it with happy occasions, and their friendship and trust on each other was strong and deep, so beautiful that it had become the child’s most cherished possession.

Before she started to go to school, during those days Utena was always in the company of her guardian and Anthy taught her many things that she had learned during her travels. The girl discovered that the woman had been all over the world and had been to all kinds of places. Sometimes they played together inside with dolls or outside in the courtyard with tag, snowball fight, or even in the rain.

Sometimes Utena helped Anthy tend to her garden and watched the dark-skinned woman treat the roses with the same care and attention she tended to her. Sometimes her guardian would take her to the music room and Utena would watch in wonder as Anthy played the piano for her, and later she would take the small hands of the pink-haired girl and guide her shy fingers across the keyboard, teaching her how to make her first notes.

Even after she actually started attending school, those cherished moments never ceased to be shared between them. Anthy always took her to and fetched her, and listened with infinite patience to the child blabbing excitedly the entire way. She always knew exactly what to say when the girl needed guidance or advice, and Utena always saw those beautiful green eyes gaze at her with the utmost kindness, tenderness, warmth and something else that she couldn't name, but which was so deep, intense and true that it captivated and fascinated the girl and made the woman’s countenance seem to radiate the light of the very stars itselves.

During the nights they used to stay in the library, talking or playing cards with Chu-Chu. Although sometimes the girl would read by herself books that she chose from the shelves, she still preferred to listen to the fantastic stories that Anthy told her at her bedside when she put her to sleep. Sometimes Anthy would tell her stories that she had read in books before, sometimes she would tell her fairy tales, some widely known around the world and others that were not, but which Utena loved to listen to just the same. Her favorite was the one where the handsome prince fought to rescue the princess in distress from a ugly green-haired monster.

And it was on one of these nights after hearing that story, when Utena was eight years old, that she decided to ask that question.

Lying under the covers with her guardian sitting beside her on the edge of the bed, one small pale hand reached out and gripped a dark one, fingers playing with the silver rose-emblazoned ring the other always wore there.

"What is this?" The innocent question came and the girl noticed her friend's hesitation in answering right away.

The child's blue eyes met the woman's green ones; in them she saw the same kindness as always, now also mixed with sadness and deep longing. The dark hand gently cradled her small one and Anthy finally answered her.

“Once when I was lonely and sad I met a brave and noble-hearted prince, who showed me kindness and true feelings, and made me believe in something eternal. I was saved and fell in love... That person however disappeared, and all I have left is this ring... It belongs to my dearly beloved prince."

The woman whispered softly, voice full of emotion and longing.

“I wear it because I have hope that one day it will bring my prince back to me…”

Anthy didn't notice when the tears started to slide down her face, but the eight year old girl didn't hesitate to push back the covers, kneel on the bed and her two small hands touched the woman's dark cheeks. Utena kissed away her tears, and when she pulled away, the girl watched her friend with a serious and determined face, blue eyes that sparkled with strength, nobility and purity.

“Please don't be sad, Anthy!”

And frozen, green eyes wide, the woman looked at the child and involuntarily shivered under that gaze.

The ten-year old child stared with utter boredom at the pretty dresses on display while her guardian looked among them thoughtfully about which one to choose. Blue eyes in an instant involuntarily strayed to observe the store around them and they settled on the other side of the place, observing the menswear department with curiosity and an almost wistful look.

“Utena?” The woman's sudden call made the child jump in surprise.

Anthy was watching her with a slightly arched brow in silent questioning and the girl blushed, caught in the act; she waited for the reprimand that was sure to follow, but it never came. Instead, Utena saw the woman look in the same direction that had captured the girl's attention before and then down back to her, her green eyes filled with understanding.

Her voice inquired softly.

"You like them?"

The child tilted her head to one side in an adorable movement; realizing her guardian wasn't mad at her, just merely curious, sheepishly she nodded in response. Anthy knelt down next to her and asked with a sweet smile.

“Would you rather I bought them for you instead of the dress?”

Blue eyes widened with surprise and wonder, and Utena inquired back with obvious interest.

“May I?”

Anthy consented without showing any surprise or astonishment in discovering that her little charge wanted to wear boys' clothes.

“If you really want to, you may have them, sweetheart.”

And that's how minutes after they finished shopping Utena was bouncing in each of her steps, wearing a handsome small jacket, baggy pants, with her long pink hair flowing straight under a cap and beaming with pure joy while Anthy walked leisurely beside her, watching her with a tender smile on her lips and a warm gaze in her eyes.

In the months that followed, Anthy never said a word when she asked to trade her dolls for toy cars, teddy bears for soccer balls and basketballs, that her friends at school turned out to be mostly boys, or when she left the sewing and ballet clubs altogether to engaging headlong in sports one's, and Utena couldn't have been more grateful to the woman for being able to grow up being fully herself.

When she was thirteen, Utena had an amazing growth spurt; this made her and Anthy practically have the same height.

One day while playing basketball in the hoop in their garage, the girl saw her guardian crossing the outside yard absentmindedly carrying a box, and grinning to herself, her mind immediately turning up to no good, Utena dropped the ball in a corner somewhere and quickly followed the violet-haired woman, finding her in the garden.

Silently she tiptoed behind her until she was right on her back, leaned in and easily said into the tip of her ear.

“Whaddya doing?!”

Anthy jumped in fright and the box she was carrying only didn't fall to the floor and break the glass vases inside because the pink-haired girl quickly grabbed it and deposited it on a nearby bench, laughing out loud the whole time.

“Utena, please don’t do this!” The woman exclaimed in a reproachful tone, clutching one hand to her chest over her racing heart.

“Come on! It was funny! I've really got you this time!”

The cheerful grin on the teenager's lips was so radiant that it broke the sternness in her green eyes and melted her countenance into a softer one.

“Yes, you did, but please, don’t distress my heart like that again… I don’t want to die of fright!”

"I would never do that!" Utena protested, vehemently shaking her head and then stretching her long limbs like a big lazy cat. "By the way, that wouldn't be possible since you gave it away to someone long ago, so your heart must be pretty safe!"

The pink-haired girl grinned and teased.

“You're still waiting for your Prince Charming, aren't you?”

Faced with the other's deep silence, Utena looked at her guardian and the humor that played on her young face completely drained when she saw the woman's sober countenance; her green eyes stared at her in an unreadable way.

It was only then that the girl realized her horrible faux pas.

"Are you… are you really serious… about this prince stuff…?"

The answer openly showed itself on her friend's serious gaze and Utena wanted to kick herself for her plain stupidity; she immediately approached the other, completely embarrassed.

“I'm sorry, Anthy! That was totally bad of me… I didn't know… I didn't think you were so serious about this … I thought it was made up, like the fairy tales you told me when I was a kid! I'm really sorry!”

“It's okay, sweetheart, you didn't do anything wrong. I know this really sounds like a children's story, but…” Anthy chuckled softly and gracefully shook her head to herself and offered the girl a warm smile. “To me this is as true and real as you and I standing here right now. I fully believe in my prince, Utena, and I wish from the bottom of my heart for us to see each other again one day… So I may tell of my love and say that there hasn't been a single day that I haven't missed my prince.”

The confession was so pure and sincere that it touched Utena's heart deeply; she looked back at her friend and told her with equal sincerity and seriousness.

“I'm sure your prince will return to you, because you are an amazing, wonderful and very, very special woman, Anthy! You more than anyone deserve to live true happiness.”

Anthy looked at her for a long time in silence, her green eyes sparkled with a deep and intense emotion and that same something else that Utena sometimes saw there and that she couldn't understand what it meant, but knew it was something different and good; it always made a warm feeling wash over her.

“Thank you…” The woman whispered softly and the girl suddenly grinned and asked with real curiosity.

"Hey, is he handsome? Your prince? Is he charming, strong and courageous like the ones in your stories?!”

Anthy watched the girl, taking in the long pink hair falling straight over the boy's shirt and shorts she wore, and returned an affectionate smile, her green eyes flickering humor from something she clearly found funny but that she chose to keep only to herself.

“Very much so.”

Satisfied with the answer, Utena then took her leave, grabbed Chu-Chu and told her friend she was going to do her homework, but before she went Utena suddenly stopped by Anthy's side and gave her a quick and soft peck, then took off running into the house with the monkey-like creature slung over her shoulder as she waved goodbye, and the woman could only stare forward as unconsciously her trembling hand cradled her own cheek.

On the very day of her fourteenth birthday, Utena was absolutely beaming; her good mood surfaced and overflowed through her pores, contaminating everyone around her. She received gifts from her friends and attended a small surprise party thrown by her fellow mates of the basketball club. And to end the day that had been perfect so far, when she got back home Anthy and Chu-Chu were waiting with a wonderful dinner made of her favorite food and a huge cake.

After receiving their gifts, the athletic girl didn't hesitate to show her deep gratitude and wrapped the smaller woman in her arms, sinking her petit form in her grateful hug; by then she had grown so much that she was now a full head taller than Anthy, which made her tease the other constantly as her friend just laughed it off lightly.

But when later they were sitting together eating her birthday cake and Anthy reached across the table to hold her hand in a simple, affectionate caress, Utena looked deep into those green, beautiful eyes and something suddenly clicked into place inside her.

At that very moment the girl who liked to wear boy's clothes felt herself falling head over heels in love with Anthy Himemiya.

Even with the passage of time, the years running steadily and sure as the current of a river, Anthy always remained resolute in her goal of waiting for the return of the prince she had fallen in love with in the past. Before, when she realized that the dark-skinned woman was being completely serious about the matter, Utena never made fun of it again and started to treat it with utmost respect; now, however, being fully aware of the love she was feeling for her friend and it throwing her world upside down, making everything spin out of control, it was driving her completely insane.

It was a cascade of feelings that she was barely able to keep under control in order to maintain their normal day-to-day life. For God's sake, she was only fourteen and her guardian was a lot older than she was; hell, she had raised her!

At first Utena shoved it with all her strength into a deeper corner of herself and did her best to ignore it, considering it just a stupid childhood crush, but it always kept coming back to haunt her, stronger than before in such a way that shook her down to her core.

And it got even worse when she started sporadically dreaming about the old bedtime stories her dear friend used to tell her in childhood; in them the fairy tale was distorted to the point that the ugly green-haired monster became a man, Anthy was the princess in distress, and the prince who fought so hard to save her? It was Utena herself.

It didn't happen often, but when it did it always made the growing, totally wrong feeling, she told herself, that hammered inside her chest and made her want to insistently bang her head against the wall in frustration, become even more unbearable.

Then, one day, when she dreamed that she was embracing Princess Anthy in a stupid dueling arena dressed in a black princely uniform, it became too much. Tired of it all, Utena gathered her guts and decided to blow it away; the worst that could happen was Anthy, always understanding and open to talking about any subject, looking at her with tender eyes and a gentle smile and patiently explain to her in the sweetest and most harmonious voice in the world that she was being silly.

And that's how Utena entered their house that late afternoon, throwing her backpack on the couch and undoing a few buttons on her men's jacket; she resolutely stormed into the kitchen and threw herself into a chair, with the movement her long pink hair fluttered and fell in a smooth curtain over her shoulders.

She was ready to blurt out ‘I’m so totally freaking in love with you, Anthy!’

But then the dark-skinned woman turned around to look at her with a warm smile and those beautiful, bright, enigmatic green eyes threw her off; the girl's face turned completely red and the only thing that came out was the stuttered poor sentence.

“I-I th-think that I’m li-liking so-someone from my sch-school!”

It was a horrible lie, but at least it might help test the waters and start introducing the subject, right?

The dark hands that had been setting the table tipped the teacups over the wood with a sudden, sharp clank. Hard.

Utena stared, taken aback at the sudden transformation that came over her friend's face. Gone was all the cheerfulness that had been there before, Anthy's countenance became completely blank, empty green eyes that gave away nothing as she'd ever seen on her before.

“Is that so?”

Anthy inquired soberly and something in her tone made Utena suddenly have her courage drained all the way down the drain and she regretted even considering bringing the matter up in the first place.

“Yeah….” The pink haired girl said uncertainty, scratching her head nervously and laughing without really having any humor on it; now wanting to end the conversation for good and feeling extremely foolish. “I-I just don't know if…if sh-she likes me too… in that way…”

“Is it a girl, then?”

Anthy inquired from behind her teacup after having sat across from her, without looking at her direction, in that same strange, horrible tone, completely void of emotion, and this made an inexplicable voracious irritation well up inside Utena; she absolutely hated every second of it.

“Is there something wrong if I do happen to like girls?” She snapped back, unintentionally letting her irritation leak out and show in her voice.

That made Anthy's head suddenly turn up towards her full of astonishment; her green eyes flashed with something that resembled deep guilt and regret before quickly an unreadable look came over her face.

But you can't become my Prince... Because you're a girl.

A voice whispered suddenly, malicious, cold and bitter coming out of nowhere from somewhere inside the girl's subconscious and Utena immediately recoiled away in her chair, dazed, feeling as if she had suddenly been slapped hard. The expression that wore her face must have been so strange that it made worry wash over Anthy's countenance and the dark-skinned woman reached out for her hand and involuntarily Utena flinched when their fingers touched. Her reaction completely broke that weird expression that had fallen over the woman and her violet-haired friend held her hand tightly.

"No! Of course not! Never, Utena! Never!" Anthy answered her immediately, this time with the usual softness in her voice that resembled more her usual self. Her hands caress the girl's with tenderness. “It doesn't matter who is the person you like or love, as long as that person makes you happy.”

The woman took the girl's hand to her own face, cradling it with the utmost gentleness and reverence, her lips kissing the pale fingers and it took all of herself for Utena not to shudder at that caress. Anthy then gave her a deep look that was sweet and sad at the same time.

“All I want is for you to be happy, Utena… No matter who you are with… I want you to be happy.”

You make me happy. Utena answered her immediately in her mind, but these were words that were left unsaid.

They drank tea afterwards in complete silence.

By the time she was finishing her last year of high school at seventeen, already accepted into a prestigious college and starting a promising career as a professional basketball player, Utena was already absolutely sure that no matter how much she pretended that nothing was happening, she would never be able to love anyone else in the world the way she loved Anthy Himemiya, though she still lacked the courage to honestly confess her long-held feelings and see if the woman might consider accepting them.

There was a part of her that had always feared Anthy's reaction and that put a damper on any intentions of trying again to broach the subject after that conversation they'd had when she was fourteen. She was afraid of irreparably ruining their friendship, seeing those green eyes looking at her no longer with the same brightness and tenderness as before if she did it. The other part of her was willing to revolutionize the entire freaking world to make that real.

On that quiet night the young woman arrived early at their house to find the lights partially out. Curiosity and slight worry made her look out for her friend; it was very rare for Anthy to leave the residence almost completely in the dark.

Climbing the stairs to the second floor, she stopped briefly at her own room to leave her things on the bed and stared at herself in the mirror; she was still wearing the brown coat and dark blue trousers she'd gone out early that morning, and her very short pink hair, a style she'd adopted a few months ago for the convenience of maintain and for clearing her vision during the games, was still wet from the shower she'd taken in the gym after finishing the afternoon training session. She considered changing her clothes, but quickly dismissed the idea, as she was still looking somewhat presentable.

She left the place and found the one she was looking for in the music room.

Pausing silently at the entrance, careful not to draw the attention of the occupants inside, Utena let her blue eyes stare at her for a long time, completely captivated by the petit form of the woman who had unwittingly stolen her heart.

Anthy was sitting on the bench in front of the piano looking exactly as the day when she had seen her for the first time so many years ago; a long light pink dress perfectly fitted her womanly curves and fell loose to her feet, her long violet hair flowing like a wide wavy cascade; so stunningly beautiful that it made again the young woman by the door caught her breath. Dark, delicate fingers gracefully glided absently over the keyboard, playing a song that didn't have a certain melody; it drifted in random, melancholy notes that reflected her unsettled soul. Green eyes stared with a faraway gaze at Chu-Chu sitting on top of the piano without really seeing him, and they carried such anguish within that seeing it hurt Utena deeply.

Anthy appeared to be the damsel in distress of her own stories, grieving over something she refused to share, stubborning keeping it to herself, and in the doorway Utena clenched her fists tightly until her nails sunk hard into flesh.

Here they were in that stupid and totally helpless situation; on one side was the woman who had been faithfully waiting for years for a prince who never appeared, and on the other the youngest struggled everyday to contain the love she felt for her with such an inexplicable and overwhelming force and that all those years it never went away.

And with blue eyes that mirrored the same desolation that existed in those green ones, Utena inquired silently if it was so wrong of her to wish she could become the prince that Anthy loved so dearly.

But you can't become her Prince... Because you're a girl.

That horrible, cruel voice whispered to her again, coming from an unknown part of her subconscious, crawling to the surface and scratching at her heart until it bled, and Utena closed her eyes, fighting the sudden wave of despair that surged through her.

That's right… It would never happen… her vain hopes… her foolish love… because Anthy loved a man, who would one day return and take her away in his big white car and his shiny expensive suit… and she would be left behind, forgotten and alone again, this time for good.

The melancholy music stopped and Anthy's voice came through the room in a faint, broken whisper that immediately made Utena open her eyes to look at her again.

“I… I don't… I can't do this anymore, ChuChu…” The violet haired woman gazed at her little friend, covering her face in her hands. “It's getting harder every day… So similar to that time… the same voice… the same way of being… so noble, so kind, and so pure… the same look… it's tearing me apart…”

“Chu… chu chu?” The little monkey-like creature inquired softly and Anthy shook her head, understanding exactly what he said as only she could.

“No… I… I thought I could do this… that I could be strong… be who I needed to be… be as close as I was allowed to… love without expecting anything in return… but this feeling makes me selfish, so, so selfish… and now it's suffocating me… I can't take it anymore, Chu-Chu… It's really, really hard for me…”

And not being able to bear seeing her in such anguish anymore, even though she knew those words weren't meant for her ears, Utena spoke up, her voice echoing firmly in the music room.

“What has been so difficult for you?”

Her friend jumped fearfully onto the bench and spun around, her wide eyes stared tearfully in surprise and mortified at the other in the doorway, completely frozen on the spot and at loss of words; she looked so frail that Utena's gaze softened and became one of compassion, and with silent, purposeful steps she entered the room, approached Anthy and sat down on the vacant space on the bench.

Her blue eyes sought out her face, and Utena couldn't resist raising a pale hand and taking a long violet lock that had escaped loose to tuck it behind her ear; her hand lingered there for a second, then rested over her dark cheek.

“Anthy…” Utena whispered, voice filled with kindness, gaze sinking into those enigmatic eyes that stared back at her, bright and beautiful, so, so beautiful…

Gods… She loved that woman so much… so much that she was capable of doing anything for her… Go to the ends of the world even if she had to cross hell itself if needed…. And if it meant seeing her happy, she was willing to let her go, into the arms of the prince she had been waiting for so long, even if it meant shattering her own heart into thousands of irreparable fragments.

And smiling tenderly, her lips reflecting the genuine feeling of her heart, holding so dearly all that they had built together in those years, Utena told her meaning every word.

“You know you can always count on me for whatever you need, anything…. I really want to see you well. If something is troubling you, please, come to talk to me first; no matter what, we'll help each other… that's the kind of friends I want us to be.”

Nothing could have prepared her for the reaction her words provoked; Anthy let a strangled sob escape her lips and she fell forward, completely limp and shattered into endless sobs. Surprised Utena immediately embraced the smaller woman's petit tremulous form in her strong, athletic arms, cradling her against her chest completely at loss of what to do or what to say, feeling those tears soaking her coat completely.

“Anthy?! What's it?! Anthy?! Please talk to me! Anthy! Anthy!”

She called again and again, voice thick with worry, but it only made Anthy cry even harder against her chest, her delicate arms gripping her so tightly as if her very life depended on it.

After that night Anthy remained silent on the subject and said nothing about the reason that had upset her so much, but a few weeks later, on the exact day they had met at her parents' funeral so many years ago, Utena had that same magical and strange dream again that she had while hiding inside a coffin wishing to die. And when dawn came and she woke up in reality to her pillows soaked through by her still flowing tears, feeling far too old than her current years, her memory of the dream didn't fade away and she understood.

She understood everything... and she also found herself.

That late afternoon of the same day when she arrived at their house after finishing her training, Utena went straight to her room; she showered, combed her short pink hair and dressed in the best shirt and trousers she had in her wardrobe, then splashed on her favorite cologne, took a small package she brought with her and went out in search for Anthy Himemiya.

Her feet carried her through the house along the familiar path to the back door, and stepping out of the residence and into their wide garden, she saw the violet-haired woman tending to her flowers while quietly humming a happy song to herself; she had chosen to wear a green dress that fitted her petit form well and matched her eyes, further enhancing the beautiful natural grace she possessed.

A small smile played on Utena's lips.

“Hey, Anthy…” She greeted as she always did and the woman immediately looked up at her; her eyes widened subtly, taking in the other's good mood and the fine attire.

“Hey, yourself. You look happy… Why are you dressed like that?”

"I am happy." Utena nodded, casually strolling closer to Anthy and revealed. "Remember that girl I told you about a few years ago that was my classmate and whom I liked? I finally found out today that she loves me back. I'm going to ask her out on a date tonight."

The reaction was immediate; the watering can slipped from numb dark hands and was forgotten on the floor, and the woman's countenance fell as fast as the news had hit her; she struggled sharply to compose herself, her face donned that same expressionless mask of false calmness from the past.

“Is that so…?” She whispered, sober and empty.

“Yeah…” Utena merely nodded.

So shaken she was, Anthy didn't register when Utena plucked some chamomile petals from their garden, took the empty watering can to put it back in its place, and didn't resist when she took her trembling hands and led her inside, sitting her down on a chair in their kitchen.

“There's something I'd like to do first, though.” Utena continued, and gently laid the small package in the woman's unresponsive hands. “I want to give you this.”

Anthy stared at the object, and it was more an automatic reaction than a fully conscious one that she opened it; her green eyes widened at the packet of chocolate cookies lying inside it, and only then did she take in the freshly picked petals that were placed above the table and Utena that had moved away and was now heating water for tea.

“Today is exactly ten years since that day we met at the funeral, isn’t it?” The woman with short pink hair commented casually in the absolute silence that reigned in the room.

She glanced at Anthy; the smaller woman's face was completely coated with shock, but her beautiful green eyes, full of disbelief and deep emotion, also shone brightly with so much genuine hope that it almost broke her heart and Utena had to look away to be able to continue speaking.

“You know… I never told anyone this, but the day my parents died, I wanted so badly to go with them that I hid myself inside an empty coffin that was lying next to them, waiting for something to come along and take my life away; instead, I fell asleep and dreamed of a prince who showed me a reason to keep on living.”

Shaking her head, ever mindful of the water on the fire, Utena chuckled lightly.

“It's funny that I forgot about it all these years and only remembered it again when I had this same dream last night… Do you know what he showed me, Anthy? A little girl... trapped in eternal suffering just because she was guilty of helping someone she loved dearly. I was so eager to help her that saving her became my very reason for continuing to live… I didn’t give a damn that I was a girl and that girls aren’t supposed to become princes; I swore to her that I would become a prince she could believe in, even if I had to change the entire world to do so. ”

Utena went to the table and without looking at the other woman, she picked up the chamomile petals and returned to the stove; she threw them into the pitcher and waited for the tea to steep.

“In my dreams I felt that I’ve spent almost a lifetime looking for her, and when I finally found her, a fully grown woman, a beautiful princess, I fought so hard to make her believe that life was worth being lived, that miracles were possible, and that true feelings could be eternal… I gave all of myself to her… so that she would believe in me… Still, my dream didn't end well, she slipped from my grasp, falling into a deep abyss without me being able to save her…”

A long sigh escaped her lips then as she turned off the fire; went to the cupboard to get two cups of tea and holding the china in her hands, watching them for a few moments while listening to the sobs coming from the other side of the kitchen, Utena confessed in a whisper.

“I thought my dream ended like this because I had failed her; because in the end she wasn't able to believe in me despite everything I did for her... And I remember that even as a child, just before I forgot everything, in that brief moment I wished so hard that I could go back to sleep just to be able to dream it again, just to be able to see the princess once more and try harder, to have another chance to save her… So yesterday when I had this same dream, once more I was saddened because still, at the end of it, she once again slipped from my grasp without believing that my feelings for her were true, but now fully awake and seeing you sitting right here in front me, I understood that that dream wasn't just a dream at all... I understood why you came to me that day ten years ago, and why every time I look at you I can't help but keep falling in love again and again…”

Utena set the teacups down on the table and only then did she meet the other woman's gaze directly, holding it in hers with the same strength, nobility and love as before.

“So, yes, Anthy…” She whispered evenly. “I'm very, very happy, because now I'm sure I didn't fail, for the princess I love and will always love believed in me, and today I see that she is a free woman.”

Before her Anthy was a trembling mess who no longer struggled to hold back the abundant tears that slid down her face, staring at Utena overwhelmed by so many emotions that it seemed her heart would burst; her green eyes sparkled with absolute love, joy, tenderness and recognition.

“U-Utena…”

Her harmonious voice cracked in a weak and low whisper amidst tears, and Anthy saw her kneel before her; steady hands hardened by years of basketball training grasped her trembling delicate ones with gentleness and reverence, and after tenderly kissing every knuckle, Utena removed the silver ring with the rose crest and wore it on her own finger, replacing it in the same spot where it used to rest in the past, in a symbolic gesture that for her had a very clear meaning.

The ring that belonged to her prince and that she had worn in hopes to find her again, now rested back in its rightful place; her so long-waited and beloved prince had finally returned to her.

Utena's hands then rested on Anthy's cheeks, stroking them gently, she half rose and kissed away the tears of joy that were still sliding down her face, and when she pulled away to watch her, a charming smile dressed her handsome boyish countenance.

“Finally I could hear you say my name without using formalities…”

Anthy responded, giving to her the most beautiful smile that made all she had gone through worth it; wide, sincere, and so, so very full of life and joy.

The petit woman fell off the chair against her chest, her slender arms gripping her prince tightly, hands that ran down and up her back and over her athletic muscles, fingers digging into her short and soft pink hair with the same eagerness of someone who has been for years thirsty for life, in such an intimate and close caress that she had only dreamed of accomplishing before and now it become reality, no longer holding back the strength of the true feelings she had in her heart. In turn Utena's arms enveloped her in a strong embrace; warm, safe and so, so very familiar as her lips crashed against her own in a powerful and hungry kiss, demanding all of her and Anthy freely gave herself entirely to her, corresponding it ardently; it lasted a sweet eternity and completely stole their breath.

Sprawled out on the floor in a mess of intertwined limbs, her long, flowing violet hair covering their bodies like a soft blanket, Anthy looked down at her prince with enamored, amazed eyes; both of her dark, still trembling hands caressing Utena's face with the utmost tenderness, still scarcely able to believe that this miracle was really happening and Utena laughed softly at her expression; she partially turned her face and kissed one of the hands that affectionately cupped her cheeks, blue eyes twinkling with amusement.

“I think our tea is getting cold…”

“We can warm it up later…” Anthy whispered back warmly and made no move to get up from her position, neither the pink haired woman’s arms loosened their strong grip around her waist.

“Chu-Chu will eat all our cookies…”

“We can order more by delivery…”

“What about our date? I was supposed to ask you out tonight, you know…” Utena reached out to caress her princess face, her gaze evenly and full of contentment; she grinned in that so very special way that only she could. “But this... this is distracting…”

“Is that so…?” The other woman repeated that same phrase, but instead of emptiness it was now overflowing with emotion, harmonious and graceful like the music of the heavens. “We have all the time in the world, Utena… My dear, beloved Utena… We have eternity.”

And with that Anthy dove in and sealed her lips with her prince's once more, and Utena kissed her back and loved every second of the life they shared together from that day forward.