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Mirrored Feelings

Summary:

At Queenie Goldstein and Jacob Kowalski's wedding, Newt Scamander finds himself confiding in both Theseus and Queenie about his feelings for Tina. They both tell him the same thing: Tina Goldstein loves him irregardless of his insecurities around his asexuality and ASD (of which he has no labels for).

Newt finds himself getting overwhelmed by the advice and leaves the wedding early. Tina finds the strength to finally speak to Newt about how she really feels about him and they both find themselves mirroring one another in the most magical way.

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***

Newt stood at the side of the room, the music only now beginning to become too much for him. He watched as every person he loved more than anything in the world danced around the room. Jacob and Queenie looked delighted by their new nuptials, and everyone in the Bakery appeared to share their joy.

"How are you holding up?" Theseus' voice was light from the side of Newt, his hand clasping a large glass of wine as if it were second nature. "You've had a difficult few years."

Newt found his eyes wandering towards Theseus, noticing a hint of a tear forming in them. He quickly darted his gaze elsewhere once Theseus met his.

"This can't be easy for you," Newt responded, bowing his head to the floor and tugging at the pocket of his best man suit. It was an unfamiliar texture that made him shiver slightly until he reminded himself he was wearing it for his friend - for his best friend. For Jacob. Newt's voice was innocent and Theseus picked up on what he was referring to almost immediately. "Leta would be proud of what you did."

"Leta should be here," Theseus bit his lip. Newt flinched at his tone - it was frustrated and hurt. "You're right, Newt, this isn't easy for me," he said, simply. He knew it was important to Newt to know when he had picked up on social cues correctly. "But today isn't about me or you - or Leta," he lifted his hand up to the back of Newt's neck and gave him a small pat. "It's about them," he used his other hand, the one holding the red wine, to point towards Queenie and Jacob.

Newt let a small smile form on his face, chewing the inside of his mouth. His eyes fell on Tina, who was standing on the other side of the room to the side - mirroring Newt without her even knowing - eating a pastry while talking to her sister.

"You should speak to her."

"She's here for her sister," Newt replied, blankly.

"Oh, Newt-" Theseus nudged him slightly, which made his brother tense up at the sudden, unprovoked touch, "-I promise you that isn't the only reason she's here."

Newt watched as Queenie held her stomach, her smile contagious as Tina ran her hand across her bridal dress.

"Queenie's expecting?" Newt summised, tilting his head a little, wondering if that was what his brother was getting at.

"Huh," Theseus clicked his tongue, "good eye, Newt. But no, that's not what I meant."

Newt sighed, rolling his eyes at his brother's refusal to explain what he meant.

"Yeah, right. I know what mum said," Theseus grinned. "Tina's here for you, too," he explained. Their parents had told Theseus to be fair on Newt and explain whenever he pulled the very face he just had - blank and confused. "Newt - you should speak to her."

Newt scrunched his hand up in his pocket, letting out a small sigh. He didn't know how to. He didn't know what to say to her.

"Just tell her you're glad she made it - and that you're happy to see her."

"I - I - I'm not sure-" Newt stammered over his words, feeling his heart begin to race beneath his tux.

"Trust me, little brother, she'll be glad to hear it," he smiled.

Newt watched as Queenie and Jacob took to the floor for their first dance together - the first proper dance, he was told. It was a Muggle tradition, Jacob had explained.

"Look, Newt, I know this isn't something you find easy-" Theseus tried to be delicate, "-but Tina and you - I know you're meant to be."

Tina was stood alone now, smiling at her sister and her husband gliding across the room. Newt thought the two of them moved like a Hippogriff in flight. They looked happy. He smiled.

"Mr. Scamander, would you care to dance?" Lally's voice made Newt jump slightly.

"I'd be honoured, Professor Hicks," Theseus took her hand. "Don't think about it and it'll come to you," he said to Newt before disappearing into the crowd.

Newt looked down at his top pocket, noticing that Pickett was swaying to the music.

"Go on, Pick. Go." He picked him out of the fabric and placed him onto the table before rushing out of the building into the snow, his feet unable to carry him fast enough.

As he stepped outside his ears adjusted to the silence gleefully, his lungs taking in a deep breath as he regulated his feelings. He collapsed against the wall and closed his eyes, clenching his hands together and grounding himself through the pressure. The cold air stung against his freckled skin as he shuffled to the floor, just taking in the moment.

Theseus was right in what he had said; this didn't come easy to Newt. Social situations had never come easy to him. It was no secret to anyone, least of all Newt. He much preferred the company of his creatures over the company of other people. Until he met Tina. He found things simple with her. It was everyone else and everything happening that made all of that seem more complicated.

He pulled out his wand and performed a simple uncloaking spell to show that he had - despite what the outer shell he was wearing showed - been wearing his familiar coat all along. He rested his head on the bricks of the wall behind him and took in a breath, shakily. His fingers were freezing as the snow fell in front of him but he didn't feel the cold.

"Hey," Queenie's voice came from behind him and gave him a slight fright, "what's botherin' you, Newt?"

Newt could feel his eyebrows meeting in the middle as he tried to work out where the question had come from.

"You've been worryin' 'bout somethin' all day, sweetie," she mumbled, reading the confusion immediately.

"Please don't read my mind," he pleaded, his eyes averting to the snow on the floor. "Congratulations, Queenie."

"Thanks honey," she grinned, gleefully. "Now, you don't gotta be worried about Tin."

Newt said nothing, sucking his cheeks in..

"I know Theseus has already said all this but - but what's troublin' you?" She tilted her head, noticing something in his mind that she couldn't quite read or make out.

Queenie had always found Newt difficult to understand. She had once told him it was because he was British but she knew that wasn't the case. She'd been able to read Grindelwald easily, and Credence too. Granted, he was brought up American but Credence was British blood. She was able to read every single Brit except Newt. He was different in that way. His mind was unique. He wasn't typical of any other Witch or Wizard, or Muggle. He was Newt. And he was unreadable.

"Oh!" Queenie looked down to her stomach, her hand placed delicately over it. "Four months," she said, answering his question simply. "I only found out the other day though."

"Congratulations!" He blinked.

"Oh, sweetie," Queenie realised, her eyes widening at the notion. Newt's mind spiralled, his body retiring backwards when he noticed she'd seen something - felt something. "Tina ain't bothered about any of that."

Newt felt as though his throat was closing up. This was everything he wanted to avoid. He never thought he'd fall in love, let alone find someone that loved him for authentically being himself. He found this part of that difficult. And he didn't want to have to talk about how he felt about ... that with anyone, let alone Tina's sister.

He'd spoken about this matter to only one other person before. He had confined in Leta once about this. And she had laughed about it before realising Newt was being serious. And then she had apologised profusely and told him it was okay. But Newt didn't believe her. That laugh stung deep in his bones.

"I promise you, Newt, honey," Queenie tried to reassure him by lifting her hand up to his arm. He flinched at the touch, stiffening and stepping out of it automatically. He'd had enough practice. "Tina loves you."

"Love-"

"I shouldn't have told you that," Queenie forced her hand up to her blushed lips, her cheeks flushing red, "I promised I wouldn't tell you that."

"Tina - Tina loves me-" Newt felt his body begin to burn. He looked down to his hand, which was shaking.

"Please don't tell her I told you."

"No," Newt said. "I won't," he promised.

"I mean it though, Newt, sex ain't a thing that Tina's ever been interested in. Not like other people are, anyway."

Newt shuffled in his stance at the sound of the word, his very skin stiffening at the topic.

"Speak to her, Newt," she begged, "please," she nudged him. Newt didn't know why people kept doing that today but he didn't appreciate it. "You can say it's my Wedding gift," she grinned.

Newt ran his finger down his coat fabric, using it to regulate his emotions again. It was his favourite way to calm himself down after an awkward encounter - and Newt had plenty of them - so the coat pocket had plenty of wear and tear.

"And it's alrigh' that you wanna spend the night out here, okay?" She continued, "I know this sorta thing isn't your scene."

Queenie disappeared back inside before popping back out for a split second.

"I'll send Tina out here, hey?" Queenie said as she shut the door.

Newt felt his stomach churn at the idea of having to have this discussion on a day that was already tiring socially. He sat back down on the concrete floor and tugged at his hair, pressing his forehead to his hand to feel the pressure. If Teddy was with him now and not inside trying to steal the wedding rings, he'd have been stroking him.

Tina fell out of the door, brushing the hair from her face. She wasn't used to the curls but she was starting to like them after hearing Newt say he was fond of them. She straightened herself up and brushed the dust from her coat, blushing at the idiocy of falling over a door step.

"Go and see the snow, Teen, you'll love it," she mimicked Queenie's voice. It was true Tina had never seen London in the snow. She'd never seen London at all, in any weather. And she'd dreamed of it since she was a child, so when she heard that they'd all be partying in London after the wedding ceremony in the Bakery, she was overjoyed. "Yeah right." She scoffed, turning around and stumbling again into Newt. "Sorry," she said, her voice laced with embarrassment, "I didn't see you there, Sir. Oh, Newt."

"Tina," He stuttered, helping her up. Their eyes connected as she blinked in disbelief.

"Did Queenie know you was out here?"

"She - she might have done," he responded.

"Of course she did," Tina smiled. "Were you in on this?"

"On - on what?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry - I don't know."

"No then," she smiled again, lightly. Her eyes were dazzling against the London snow; the grey of the sky danced around her dark Salamander eyes. "What're you doin' out here anyway? It's real cold."

Newt scrunched his nose up, taking his coat off without a second thought and wrapping it around her small body. She was taken aback by the gesture before remembering how selfless Newt Scamander was.

"Thank you," she beamed. "But now you'll be cold."

"Oh - I grew up here," Newt said. "And - and I don't feel cold."

It was a blanket statement regarding his interoception but Tina took it as if he wasn't feeling cold right now. She smiled at him again.

They fell into silence. Tina glared at Newt and studied the expression on his face. He was staring back at her, his mouth twitching as he tried to think of something to say.

"I - I saw you," she told him, gently, "with the Qilin."

Newt nodded, his eyes widening.

"You were broadcast all over the world. In every Ministry of Magic. Now the whole world knows how pure your heart is."

"The Qilin bowed to Dumbledore."

"The Qilin trusted you, though," she argued back. "Every creature trusts you. No, no - every creature loves you."

Newt stiffened again at the word.

"Queenie is pregnant," Newt stated. He knew Tina knew already so he didn't know why he said it.

"She is," Tina nodded.

"I was thinking of you," Newt said. Tina couldn't work out what he meant by that and she dropped her smile, her eyebrows furrowing. "Um - I was thinking of you when I was looking for the Qilin," he explained, "they - they have pure hearts and are incredibly intelligent."

Tina felt her heart swell.

"I wish I could have been with you," Tina said, her mouth running away from her before she could stop it, "with - with everyone, I mean."

Newt let out a small laugh.

"I wanted you to be with me too," he replied. It came out wrong - he was meant to say with everyone but his words got muddled.

"I'm here now," she said, taking a small step closer to him.

"You are," he nodded. "And I'm glad."

"I'm glad too," Tina smiled. Newt liked it when Tina smiled, her dimples would become more prominent and her eyes would melt into him.

Newt reached his hand up to Tina's face, running his finger against her cheek. She swallowed the lump in her throat and stepped closer to him, allowing him to make whatever move he was going to make first. She didn't want to cross his boundaries. She knew he didn't like physical touch.

"Tina - Tina - I - I - " He stuttered, his mind blocking what he wanted to say more than anything. "I - I- "

"I-" Tina tried herself and failed. "I'm glad I came tonight."

Newt scolded himself for being unable to say what he wanted to say.

"Not just for Queenie but - but I needed to tell you somethin'," she lifted her hand up to his hand, which was still rested on her face. She interlocked her fingers into his and lifted her gaze to meet his eyes, "you don't have to say it if you ain't ready. You ain't gotta say anything at all, Newt."

Newt forced himself forwards into her arms, resting his face into the crook of her shoulder. It took Tina by surprise but she melted into the hold almost immediately. He closed his eyes, taking in her familiar scent and basking in it.

"How are you so warm?" Tina tried to lighten the mood, tried to make Newt more comfortable because she knew this was a lot for him. "And please don't say you grew up here because I know that ain't the reason. I grew up in New York and I sure ain't used to the heat."

Newt pulled away from the hug, his eyes wide open as he shuffled where he stood. Tina still had her arms around him.

"I am always warm when you are around me, Tina."

The words landed in Tina's ears at a surprise. She recoiled a little. It was strange hearing something like that come from Newt.

"You burn as bright as a Phoenix," he added, as though he were speaking in poetry. Tina could feel her chest dancing at the kindness of the words. They were genuine Scamander words and they were utterly charming, even if Newt didn't intend them to be. He was just being honest and speaking in the way he knew best. Through his creatures.

Tina grinned at him, her skin glowing in the moonlight.

"You say the nicest things, Mr. Scamander."

"Newt."

"Newt," she repeated, gleefully; she always liked the way his name tasted in her mouth. His eyes met hers again, his hand drifting back to his pocket. Tina looked down at it. "Why do you do that?" She asked, signalling to his fidgeting fingers. He blinked.

"I - I don't know."

"It calms you down, yes?" She said - just getting it. "I've seen you do it whenever you're uncomfortable."

"I'm - I'm not uncomfortable around you," he told her, quickly.

"I didn't say you were."

"I'm - I'm the opposite of that. Um - I'm comfortable in your company."

Tina felt a small smile form on her face again. She couldn't stop herself from smiling tonight and it was all Newt Scamander's fault.

"Newt, I need to tell you somethin'," she said, still smiling. Newt nodded, inviting her to say what it was she wanted to say, "I think we're both tryin' to tell one another the same thing but we're both rather useless at it."

Newt felt his eyes prick in intrigue.

"I really - I really quite - I think I-" It was her turn to stutter now, "this shouldn't be this hard."

They had been dancing around the subject for years now.

"Mr. Scamander, Newt,"s he said.

Newt bit his lip in anticipation.

"I love you, Newt," she allowed herself to say it at last, her voice not shaking or quiet. She felt as though she could shout it from the roof tops - from the top of the Elizabethan Tower or Buckingham Palace.

Newt felt his whole body frame tense as the words processed in his mind. He swallowed his nerves and stepped forward, placing his hand back on to her cheek where it had rested just 10 minutes before. His hand twitched in his pocket, his fingers clutching the fabric.

"You don't have to say it back," Tina said, her voice shaking now.

"I love you, Tina," he ignored her - repeating her tone and words exactly. They mirrored one another in the way they usually did. He took in a breath as she did.

"You - you do?"

Newt nodded, confused by the question. He had just confirmed he did.

"Can - can I please hug you?" Tina asked, her voice gentle. Newt dropped his hand from her cheek and gave her another nod.

She threw her arms around him as if she had wanted to do it for ages and he pulled her in tighter, placing his hand gently behind her head and being careful not to ruin her hair. She really did look beautiful with it like that, he thought. She looked beautiful anyway but today she was glowing. Like a Phoenix.

"I don't ever want to pass up the chance to be with you again," Tina said, her voice melting into Newt's ears. "I'll leave the Ministry."

"But Tina - it's your dream."

"Oh, they're all a bunch of - what was it you called them?"

"I-"

"I'm kiddin' around, Newt," she nudged him, playfully, pulling out from the hug, "your brother offered me a position in his office."

"In London?"

Tina nodded, "do you think I should take it?"

Newt didn't hesitate to nod, his breath inches away from her face.

"Queenie and Jacob are movin' into our flat in New York anyway so I figured it was time for me to move out-"

"You can live with me," he said, not realising that wasn't a normal thing to offer so early into a relationship.

Tina grinned.

"I could?"

"Absolutely!" Newt nodded. "Bunty can - can move out and you can have her room."

Tina nodded, smiling.

"Won't Bunty need a place to stay though?"

"Oh - no," Newt shook his head. "She moved in just last week to take care of the baby Nifflers. She has her own house."

"I see," Tina smiled, "I wouldn't want to force someone out."

"You're not," Newt confirmed.

Tina nodded.

"No," she shuffled, scratching her arm. "Oh, I'm so happy," she bounced on her heels, lifting herself up to plant a light kiss on his cheek, "thank you, Newt."

Newt didn't flinch but he did blink rather fast, indicating to Tina that she crossed a boundary.

"Sorry," she chewed her tongue, "I didn't mean to-"

She was cut off by Newt leaning down to plant his lips to her mouth, his eyes closing as he pulled her in close. Newt had never kissed anyone before - he'd never thought about kissing anyone before he met Tina but he knew it was something that was expected when two people were in love. He'd seen romance in his creatures and in Leta and Theseus' relationship, and in Jacob and Queenie, so he knew what he was doing slightly. He was gentle with her, which made Tina's heart faint. She had been kissed only once before and it was a messy affair. She didn't enjoy it and it wasn't with someone she loved. She thought she'd never find anyone she loved as much as she loves Newt.

The touch of Tina's hand behind his ear made Newt shiver, collpsing into her touch. Tina ran her hand through the soft cotton-like feeling of Newt's hair and played with the curls lightly.

"Are you two comin' back-" Jacob's voice trailed off as he stopped in his tracks. "Oh," he stepped back inside.

Queenie bounced on her toes, her eyes lighting up at the sight of her sister and Newt finally admitting how they felt for one another. It had been a painful few years for them playing will they or won't they.

"Teen!" Queenie screeched, tapping Tina's back as the two of them pulled apart. Newt fell back slightly, his balance going hazy.

"Hi," Tina said, turning around to face her newly wedded sister.

"Hi," Newt mirrored her.

"This is the best wedding present, ain't it, Jacob, honey?" Queenie jumped into her husband's arms.

"Oh, absolutely!" Jacob smiled. "I'm happy for you, pal," he turned to Newt, who was flushing a bright pink tone on his freckled face. Newt was averting his eyes to the ground. "Now, can we all get back to partying, please?"

"Yes," Tina nodded. Queenie and Jacob headed back in with grins as wide as the Thames. "Are you comin' back in?"

Newt nodded, agreeing to follow Tina wherever from now on. He knew he could do anything by her side.

***