Chapter Text
“Welcome ladies aaaaand gentlemen! You know what time it is! It’s time for the Ionozone!”
Wrong wrong wrong .
How do you mess this up in the first line? You’ve done this a million times!
“Hey, hey, hey, HEYYYYY !”
Stupid. How’d you even make it this far? It certainly wasn’t your stunning personality.
Idiot.
“Your eyeballs are MINE - caught in my Electroweb! Whosawhatsit? Me ! Ionooo~ I’m the Gym Leader here down in ol’ Levincia City! ‘Ello, ‘ello, hola! Ciao and bonjour!”
Despite how little you changed it everyone will notice. They’ll all clip this moment!
“ Quick! Screenshot this my little ions! You won’t get a pose like this in a long time! Maybe , I ‘unno!”
What’s the point of saying this when your manager is gonna make you do this pose till your legs hurt to put on magazines and on Twinklegram?
Why do you still listen to him despite everything he does? Oh, but deep down you know. You’re nothing without a manager. You couldn’t function without someone pulling your strings.
Pathetic.
“Timeee’sssss UP! If you want more pics’ like this then check out my account on Twinklegram @ionooffical! Remember, @ionooffical, where just like the name of the site says’s, I’m twinkling all the time like no other!”
I hate you more than I hate him.
“Now my precious ions, onto the celebration at hand, y’know what that means!”
I hate myself.
Iono collapsed onto her bed sheets, her legs aching as her muscles clenched and unclenched relentlessly. She groaned, flopping over to the other side, wishing for the ache to go away.
She could feel her feet bruise over with the immense amount of pressure she had put them under today. She just wanted to close her eyes and go to sleep for the rest of the week but she had the annual gym leader conference and she just couldn’t skip it or she’d get in major trouble with La Primera. Not to mention how her skipping on it would beget rumors among her fans - and then her manager would be on her.
It’d be a complete and utter mess , to say the least.
The gym leader watched as her Luxio left its pokeball and looked around her bedroom wearily before letting its hackles lower as it settled down. She sighed, watching it pad around her room and jumping onto her bed and settling against her side, nuzzling into her arm. A fond smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she ran her thin fingers through her pokemon’s fur, feeling it purr under her touch.
Sometimes she wished she could be a pokemon. Maybe a Shinx, they were small adorable creatures that could curl on themselves when things got too much. She wanted to be small, so no one could see her and what a failure she had become. Not have to worry about anything or anyone telling her what to do. Not having to worry about performing and streaming on time or what anyone thought about her. Life seemed easier that way, it seemed more enjoyable that way.
But she knew damn well she had no room to complain considering she had everything .
There were people who wanted what she had, who envied what she had, who deserved what she had. There were people who had nothing and might never have anything and were suffering more than her. She had no room to complain.
To even begin to compare herself to her fellow gym leaders felt wrong
She was depressed, nothing like Brassius or Larry. Grusha got injured so badly that he couldn’t even be a professional snowboarder anymore. Katy ran a homegrown business that could easily fail someday if something bad happened, the same applied to Kofu. Ryme and Tulip … She couldn’t think of any problems they had, maybe the two were just too good to have them, it makes sense why they wouldn’t, they were good people and they deserved the best.
Sure Iono enjoyed the spotlight, she coveted the attention, it was something she craved since she could use a screen. After so many days and years of playing on the iPad her parents gave her, it created a hole in her that seemingly nothing could fill. She wonders what they think of her now, what they think when they see their little girl shining on the stage, still insatiable as ever, still acting out for whatever attention she could get.
She wonders if they’re disappointed in her, or maybe if they have at least an ounce of pride in their eyes when they see her. She wonders if her fellow gym leaders stare at her the same way, with disappointment or pride, maybe even envy .
Iono always found herself as someone who was in between things, never quite bad but never quite perfect. Never quite enough for her parents, never quite enough for her manager, and never quite enough as a performer.
But she had always been told if she put her all into things- if she put her heart into it - then one day she could perfect, one day she could feel she deserved all the stares directed at her. Maybe one day she could be enough for someone , anyone maybe.
Maybe one day she could be good enough for herself .
There’s a drawer in her room, right underneath her bed where she keeps all the things she collected over the years, they’re mementos of some sort, things that hold too much sentimental value for her to throw away. It’s an assortment of things, little trinkets that make her heart warm when she sees them, lanyards, an old crinkled map, a few broken pokeballs, some pictures that are worn with ages, some that aren’t, and contest ribbons and awards she won when she was little. Things that made her feel like she belonged somewhere when she got them.
She does it in the hopes that maybe one day if she collects enough she’ll build enough to be someone, to find a place where she feels she truly does belong. Maybe one day she’ll find the courage inside her to take a piece of paper, and with a pen that has those bright pink fuzzy balls at the end and she’ll write her parents a letter. A letter she won’t let rest underneath her desk, forgotten and trashed with the words scratched out, stained by the tears of something she doesn’t quite understand.
That one day she’ll have one or two people who’ll say she belongs even if she doesn’t quite feel it, even if she isn’t quite enough for them.
Maybe she’ll be able to call herself a gym leader one day with full confidence and faith. That she’ll be able to believe that she belongs with them, that she belongs to shine with the rest of them on a stage, a stage she is supposed to be able to call her own.
That one day she’ll find a place to call her own, a home, a place where she feels she truly belongs. If she even deserved that.
One day she’ll find it, one day she will.
But that day is not today.
So with a sigh, Iono closes her eyes and allows herself to rest for a few hours, dreaming of a place she
truly
belongs, where the spotlight doesn’t blind her and she can finally rest her feet.