Chapter Text
Chan has added xxx-xxx-0368, xxx-xxx-9917 and 5 others to the group chat: Support Squad
Chan: hey everyone :) I hope this is ok...mrs park told me you all gave permission to join the chat. she texted me all your numbers... If I'm wrong feel free to leave or yeah...I don't know why I'm doing this to be honest (⌒_⌒;)
xxx-xxx-1214: ew did u just unironically use a kaomoji in 2023 THE YEAR OF OUR LORD, I need some fucking bleach for my eYES
xxx-xxx-3666: i think it's ctue
Chan: sorry, just wanted to seem welcoming and stuff, I won't use them anymore
xxx-xxx-8784: noooooo, don't be sry (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Chan: @xxx-xxx-8784 I can't tell if you're making fun of me or not :(
xxx-xxx-8784: I would neverrrr D: kaomojis r life <33
xxx-xxx-9917: you still sound sarcastic dumbass
xxx-xxx-8784: waaaaaaa I didn't mean to!! srsly!!! channnnnie believe meeee <3
Chan: it's ok, I believe you :)
xxx-xxx-8784: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
xxx-xxx-1665: Stop spamming or I will leave this group.
xxx-xxx-0368: lmao who brought grandad
xxx-xxx-1665: Are you referring to me?
xxx-xxx-0368: kfjgsdjf
xxx-xxx-1665: Punctuation exists for a reason. You should try it.
xxx-xxx-0368: kjdgkhsakhgdf
xxx-xxx-1214: okay......anyway I'm putting this on silent, nap time is sacred and my pores hold grudges
xxx-xxx-3666: sleepb well!
xxx-xxx-8784: wtf is a pore???
xxx-xxx-9917: I guess we found our resident himbo
xxx-xxx-8784: HA! I don't even know what that is, your words can't hurt meee
xxx-xxx-9917: exactly my point
Chan: ok this isn't going how I planned. how about we start again? introduce ourselves and stuff?
xxx-xxx-3666: sounbs good!
xxx-xxx-8784: yesssss
xxx-xxx-0368: k
Chan: ok, I'm Chan. uhhhh....I'm in third year. I'm a music major. I'm from Australia? I don't know what else to say tbh...that's probably everything important haha
xxx-xxx-8784: :O!!!! I'm a music major too!!!!
Chan: oh awesome! :)
xxx-xxx-8784: okayyy imma go next :D I'm han jisung, I'm a music major, oh wait I said that alrdy loll
UMMMM
what else?? oh I'm second year
[Chan changed xxx-xxx-8784's name to 'Jisung']
Jisung: thankuuu<3
[xxx-xxx-3666 changed their name to 'Felix']
Felix: hi everyone! I'm felix, I';m also from Australia actually! I',m a bance madjor
*dance madjor
and I'm in 2nd year too, it's nice to meet all of you!
xxx-xxx-1665: major*
xxx-xxx-0368: r u fr
Felix: sorry, I'm not very good at speling, thanks for correcting me!!
Jisung: oh nah me neither bro it's all chill, aaa I'm so excited...2nd year buddiess :D
Felix: same!! yess
Chan: where abouts in Australia?
Felix: sydney
Chan: omg seriously?? same!
Felix: chan, us meeting must b fATE
Chan: oh definitely
Felix: :)
Chan: Anyone else want to introduce themselves?
xxx-xxx-0368: grandpa, expose yourself
xxx-xxx-9917: wtf did I just read
Jisung: MY EYESSSSSSS
xxx-xxx-0368: nOT LIKE THAT OMG
Felix: hahahhaha
Chan: I don't even know what to say anymore
[xxx-xxx-1665 changed their name to 'Seungmin']
Seungmin: My name is Seungmin. I'm a second year pre-med major.
Jisung: oooo fancy
does that mean if I get hurt, LIKE let's just say I trip down the stairs and get this badass cut on my forehead like right above my right eyebrow
I can come see you instead of the nurse??
can you do like stitches and shit??
xxx-xxx-9917: he's not actually a doctor yet, genius
xxx-xxx-0368: this scenario seems very specific
Chan: oh god, you didn't actually fall did you?
Jisung: hmm....no? :D
Chan: go to the Nurse, jisung
Jisung: but I don't wanna :(
Felix: you don't like Nurse Son?
Jisung: ugh no, she smells like wet dog
Chan: whaaat, no! she's so nice :( promise me you'll go see the nurse?
Jisung: OK fiiiiiine ugh
xxx-xxx-9917: i mean, she does smell like wet dog tbf
xxx-xxx-0368: she always gives me chocolate when I visit, she's not that bad
Chan: you get chocolate???
Jisung: CHOCLAaaATE?!?
Felix: I never get chocolte >:(
xxx-xxx-0368: I guess i'm just special
Seungmin: Or, she's grooming you.
xxx-xxx-9917: ....well, that's dark
xxx-xxx-0368: what the actual fuck
Chan: oh my god this is not what mrs. park wanted when she said make a group chat
Felix: im crYING
Jisung: omfg my water just spurted out of my nose ahahahahah, grandpa's a savage xD
xxx-xxx-0368: she's not grooming me ffs! ...right?
...is she?
guys??
Chan: no!! of course not... she probably just has a... a soft spot for you or something, I don't know
Jisung: lmfao I'm glad I don't have her sofT SPOT ew
Felix: wait....actually I think I remember getting chocolate when I was a fresher...are you in first year?
xxx-xxx-0368: ....yes
Chan: ohhhh ofc! that'll be it then
xxx-xxx-0368 : oh thank fuck...@Seungmin you scared the shit out of me u ass
Seungmin: Sorry, I didn't think you would take a senile grandad seriously. My mistake. :)
xxx-xxx-0368: ....
Jisung: lolololol BURN
Chan: seems kind of sinister when seungmin uses emoticons for some reason :') ...anyway, @xxx-xxx-9917 why don't you introduce yourself?
xxx-xxx-0368: christ okay, I'm jeongin...but don't call me that pls, only my mum calls me that when she's pissed off, call me IN...and I study biology ig
[Chan changed xxx-xxx-0368's name to 'IN']
Seungmin: Nice to meet you, Jeongin.
IN: ...
Jisung: dkjsfnglaih
Chan: :') come on guys, let's get along please
@xxx-xxx-9917 want to introduce yourself next?
xxx-xxx-9917: minho...3rd year. I dance.
[Chan changed xxx-xxx-9917's name to 'Minho']
Felix: minho?? aren't you the one in charge of hhe dance club
Minho: yup
Felix: i was tihnking of joining
Minho: do it, we need more dancers tbh, classes every wednesday
Felix: cool cool
Chan: we're missing two introductions but I'm not sure they're online right now...mrs park said it might be helpful if we talked about...like....why we joined the chat and stuff but maybe we should wait for the others
IN: ew feelings
Jisung: I vote....
...no :D
Minho: don't be a pussy
Jisung: THAT'S SEXIST
IN: yeah don't be a pussyphobe, pussies r actually pretty metal
Minho: a....pussyphobe?
Jisung: yeah pussies are badass, they like...give birth and bleed and shit
Minho: well, not shit I hope
IN: the person who owns the pussy gives birth, not the pussy itself
Seungmin: And now we delve into pussy philosophy.
Jisung: hsiblgrwht you know what I meant!!!
IN: we've all heard of plato's cave, but how about plato's pussy
Jisung: who tf is plato and why are we talking about his pussy
Chan: how about we stop talking about pussy :s
IN: that's not very str8 of u
Chan: I get that a lot
Felix: me too
IN: me three
Minho: me four
Seungmin: So, everyone here is gay?
Minho: yes
Jisung: lKJNFGA I'm not!! speak for yourself
IN: sus
Jisung: I'm not though?!
Minho: me thinks thou dost protest too much
Jisung: what does that even mean dfkjgsd
IN: it means you're gay
Jisung: im not gay >:(
Chan: alright alright, if he says he's straight, he's straight...anyway every gay group needs a token hetero and we're getting off track. jisung go see the nurse >:(.
Jisung: :((