Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Luz Noceda is not a morning person.

In reality she doesn’t really know what kind of person she is. Nobody really does at seventeen. But one thing that has always been true for her is that she hates mornings - she knows that much.

With one lethargic groan, she rolls out of her bed, mindlessly making her way to the bathroom. Despite having a vendetta against the early hours of the day, Luz still follows a routine, though she doesn’t always follow it strictly. As she would every morning, she lazily turns on the taps, revelling in the steamy hot water that spouts from the shower head. It is one of the only things in the morning that she actually enjoys, taking a few minutes every day to just relax - a few minutes of peace before a busy day. Luz gently massages the shampoo into her hair, feeling the way it foams in her locks. She breathes in a deep sigh before-

“Luz, mija has visto mis llaves?” Camila barges into the bathroom, causing Luz to let out a loud scream.

“Mamá! Sale de aquí me estoy duchando!” Luz screeches, her hands quickly reaching out towards the shower curtain, clutching it close to her chest to hide her body. Shampoo suds begin to drip down her body and the curtain in white clumps.

Camila waves a dismissive hand, rolling her eyes, “Ay hija no es nada que ya no visto. I made you in my body! You are created from me! Now, have you seen my keys?”

“Have you checked the couch?!” she feels her cheeks begin to flush red, her patience beginning to run thin.

Camila sighs, “Si ya vi.”

“Your purse?”

Her mother looks down that the purse draped around her shoulders, unzipping it before beginning to search through its contents. After a few seconds she pulls out a keyring with a row of brass keys attached to it, shaking them in the air.

“Lo encontré!”

“Por fin!”

“Gracias Luz!” Camila looks down at her watch frowning, “I’ve got to go now, or I’ll be late. Portate bien cariño.” She blows Luz a kiss before exiting.

“Mamá! La puerta!”

Camila sheepishly returns and begins to shut the door, but before she could fully close it, she pops her head in a final time, “And don’t forget to start looking at universities!”

“Mamá!”

The door closes with a satisfying click and Luz lets out a curt groan before returning to her interrupted shower.

The Noceda household is incredibly hectic, which is odd considering that it’s just the two of them, but Luz wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s hers and she loves her mother more than anything. Luz knows that even though she’s overly-dotting and at times critical, like most mothers are, she always means well. They didn’t always get along, having a couple of arguments here and there, but that’s expected. At the end of the day there’s always this persistent love. And Luz is grateful for that.

It doesn’t take her long to finish her shower and to get dressed. Logically that means that she would be on time for school, but oddly enough time seems to always pass her. When she turns to see the electric alarm clock on her nightstand, the bright red numbers read:

7:20

“Shit, shit, shit.” She curses under her breath.

Luz runs down the stairs, collecting her rucksack that haphazardly hangs on the banister, unzipping it as she hops around the house. She collects the stray books on the living room coffee table, frantically shoving them into the unzipped bag. After packing everything she needs, she collects her shoes from the entrance, struggling to put them on as she rushes out the front door, almost tripping over her own feet.

The sun beams down on the neighbourhood, bathing the yellowing trees in warm hues. Luz pulls the ends of her jacket together as a chill runs down her back. Despite the sun being out, it didn’t stop the nippy breeze that passes by her, typical of early September weather.

Hexside High, isn’t far by any means, it’s within walking distance from the Noceda household (as everything is in their small town of Gravesfield, Connecticut) but that doesn’t mean that she’s not going to be obscenely late. She sees her neighbours coming out their houses to collect their daily mail, one even waves at her before heading back inside. Gravesfield is a small town, that not many people know about, near the ‘Sleeping Giant’ hills. The people are mainly friendly, and the community is small enough that nearly everybody knows everybody. Luz waves back at the neighbour before she begins to pick up her pace, her casual stroll turning into a slight jog. Her mamá is going to kill her if she gets another late detention.

By some miracle Luz manages to get to class moments before the morning bell rings. She lets out a long, dragged-out sigh, slumping into her seat, ready to start the long day.

She doesn’t hate school by any means, but school definitely hates her. Its not like she tries to but, trouble always seems to follow her, or rather (at least to her teachers) she’s trouble itself. Luz is no stranger to being dismissed from class or being sent to the principal’s office, her ways of learning considered ‘disruptive’. Her mother always tells her that she’s a ‘good kid’ but she finds that hard to believe when the label of ‘trouble’ follows her everywhere she goes in this journey of academia, weighing her down, shackling her like a ball and chain. She has good grades, even excelling in some subjects, but that doesn’t help when all anybody thinks she’s good for is nothing. What’s even worse is that now that senior year has started, everyone around her seems to know what they want to do in the future, choosing universities, careers… all things Luz hasn’t figured out yet. It becomes lonely and confusing. She has the drive and the compassion but no direction to focus that energy to. They are all going to go somewhere, be somebody while she… In the end she just feels left behind.

With a brief sigh, she lazily places her hand beneath her chin, the words of the teacher blurring in her mind as she watches the hands of the clock, ticking down the minutes.

♡︎

“You know there’s a plant that’s exactly like the one from Mario.”

Luz closes her locker shut after shoving her books inside. Behind the locker door is her best friend, Willow Park. She’s talking animatedly about all the different plants she learned about over the weekend, her eyes glistening with passionate glee. Alongside being a massive botanical nerd, Willow is also the badass captain of the Hexside Banshee’s roller derby team. At first glance, she doesn’t seem the sporty type, with her soft features and rounded glasses, but Luz knows that beneath everything, she has muscles that would make a weightlifter weep, and an aggression on the rink akin to a rabid dog. But currently, outside her locker, Willow has a sweet smile, one that definitely does not belong to someone who had once gotten a foul for knocking someone’s teeth out.

Luz quirks a curious brow before asking, “Which one? The fire flower?”

“No.” Willow raises the magazine clutched in her hands, folding the page before showing it to Luz. “The piranha plant. Look.”

Willow shoves the magazine closer to Luz’s face, pointing a finger to an ugly looking plant. Surely enough the tear drop shaped plant has leathery red skin, with white filaments lining the petals like teeth.

“Holy shit it does look like the piranha plant!”

Willow beams, retracting the magazine, flipping through the pages with her thumb, “I know right. It’s called the ‘Hydnora Africana’. Apparently, you can eat it with cream, and it can even cure diarrhoea!”

Luz wrinkles her face, “Lovely.”

“I told you botany is cool!”

“I never said otherwise.” Luz counters, watching her friend’s eyes widen as she sees something behind her. Willow happily waves at the newcomer, welcoming them into the conversation.

“Hey Gus!”

“Hey my dudes.”

Luz and Willow both raise an eyebrow.

“Dudettes?” Gus groans, “Ugh, I don’t know. I was just trying something out.”

Luz snorts, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you call anybody dude.”

“Like I said, I’m trying new things!”

Gus Porter is Luz’s other best friend. He’s a few years younger than them but was able to skip a couple of grades due to him having a huge brain. Always a fanatic of the theatrics and spectacle, he has found his place within the drama club, taking his role as a ‘dedicated thespian’ a little too seriously.

“Anyways,” Gus casually leans against the lockers in attempt to put on a cool façade, “What are we talking about?”

“Willow was telling me about her diarrhoea plant!” Luz snickers.

Willow pouts, rolling up the magazine before hitting Luz’s shoulder with it.

“Ow!”

 “I knew you were making fun of my plants behind my back!”

Luz rubs her shoulder, “Gus!” she whines melodramatically, “Willow’s hitting me again!”

“Willow.” He reprimands. “What did we say about hitting Luz?”

Willow sighs, “No hitting Luz unless she really deserves it.”

“And did she deserve it?”

“Well I-“

Gus wraps an arm around Willow’s shoulders, calming her down with a gentle ‘Shhh’.

“I think Willow here deserves an apology.”

“What?” Luz shrieks. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”

A smug smile grows on Willow’s lips before she lets out a false weepy sigh, “An apology would cure my aching soul!”

Gus looks at her with an expectant expression, as if it’s saying, ‘Go on’.

Luz looks at her friends, her gaze flickering between them. She sighs. Putting on the most heartfelt tone she has, she begins her half-assed apology, “I’m sorry Willow for making fun of your poopy plant.”

“Willow?”

Willow huffs, rolling her eyes, a smile on her lips, “I guess I accept your apology.”

It’s not long before Willow starts another tangent about a different plant as Luz and Gus attentively listen to her ramblings. At some point Luz’s attention shifts from her friends, her focus now on the group of girls that stride down the hallway.

Luz smiles smugly, “Is it me or did Boscha get bitchier over the summer?”

Willow and Gus turn their heads, following Luz’s eyeline. Walking down the hallway in her expensive clothes and perfectly manicured nails, a permanent scowl on her face, is Boscha. She’s a tall girl with long strawberry blonde hair, her holiday tan skin always rosy around her cheeks, almost making her look pink. Even though they don’t have a set hierarchy like they do in cliché high school films, Boscha’s the closest thing they have to a queen bee. Being the star player of their rugby team has its perks, and Boscha makes sure to take advantage of that, it also helps that her parents are quite possibly one of the richest people in Gravesfield.

“I don’t know about bitchier, but she definitely got buffer,” Gus deducts, “Damn what are they feeding that girl?”

“It’s scouting season that’s why.” Willow explains, thoroughly examining the red headed girl. “She’s probably training for some university scout.”

Willow and Gus begin to go into ramblings, theorising about Boscha’s training and dietary plans. Their voices begin to blur in Luz’s mind, turning into background noise, as Luz’s eyes zeroes in on the girl next to Boscha, the one and only, Amity Blight. As always, she walks with confidence, her posture perfectly straight and stiff. There’s this air of elegance that follows her everywhere she goes, but that’s expected from the top student. Luz had always seen her face in the school’s trophy case, both from her academic and athletic accolades, and it amazes her how somebody could complete so much in such a short time span. She’s everything Luz is not. There, however, is something different about her, something about her presence that isn’t the same as it was the previous summer.

“You’ll be there, right?” Willow’s voice fades back into her conscious, but her thoughts are still stuck on the girl who just passed them.

Luz’s mouth moves without thinking, “Her hair changed.”

“What? Who’s?”

“Amity’s.” Luz pauses whilst Willow turns around to see the pair of girls who are fading into the crowd. “It used to be green before the summer but now its brown.”

Luz has always remembered Amity Blight having voluminous curls that were dyed a brilliant shade of green. She was unmissable and unforgettable. But now her hair is long, slick, and a warm shade of brown that’s almost like the autumn leaves.

Luz doesn’t know how the impossible happened, but someone had dampened the flame that was once Amity Blight.

“Oh.” Willow hums, “I didn’t notice.” A moment of silence passes between them before Willow shrugs, “Anyways, like I was saying before, you are coming to my game, right? Boscha’s not the only one fishing for scouts, mama needs a scholarship. And it would mean a lot if you guys come to my games.”

“Are you kidding? Of course, I’m gonna go, I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

“Count me in too!” Gus pipes in.

Willow beams, wrapping her strong arms around her two best friends, “I love you guys so much!”

“I love you too!” Luz and Gus reply simultaneously, their own face’s beginning to mimic Willow’s.

High school may be its own certain hell, but it can’t be all that bad if she has her friends along the way.

♡︎

Luz slots her key into the door, her body instantly groaning the moment she enters her house. Her bones feel like they’re made out of lead, each movement becoming a chore. Slowly she comes to the realisation that she will never get used to the long hours of school. Or long hours of anything, staying in one place is just way too boring. She kicks off her shoes by the entrance, shoving them rather messily in the corner with the toe of her foot, so that her mother doesn’t tell her off.

The lights are all turned off, which is odd considering that it’s a weekday and Camila usually arrives home before Luz. She doesn’t think much about it at first, her mother could be lounging in the living room, in the dark, just to save up on the electricity bill. But before she can pop her head in the living room to check for Camila’s presence, her phone begins to buzz.

Mama <3:

-Sorry bebe, I’m being held back at work. Hay moro de habichuelas en el freezer.

-Puedes poner lo en el stove. No uses el microwave!!

-Cuidate amor !!

Luz frowns at her phone, her mother always overworks herself and doesn’t really know how to rest. Usually this would culminate in an argument, but instead Luz settles on a:

Luz:

-Okay mami.

-I love you. Llamame cuando sales <33

With a sigh, she pockets her phone, muttering something under her breath about her mother being a workaholic. In a swift motion, Luz slings her rucksack on the banister, her body instantly slumping after removing the extra weight. Feeling her stomach begin to grumble, Luz stretches her body and groggily begins to make her way to the kitchen.

She doesn’t fully understand why they have a microwave if her mother hates them, but there it stands on top of the fridge, pristine, and never been used. Camila has always claimed that it has no health benefits, the tiny box letting out radioactive waves with each usage, taking out all the nutrients from the food. Luz sighs, bending down to open the white door of their freezer, taking out the leftovers that have been preserved in an old ice cream tub.

Luz kicks the door shut, beginning to open the cupboards to look for a saucepan. In a couple of minutes, she has already started to heat the saucepan with half of cup of water or so boiling before she chucks in the frozen rice. With a wooden spoon, she begins to stab at the frozen slab until it starts to break down. After a few minutes, the water has completely evaporated, the once frozen rice now revived and fluffy. Luz grabs a bowl and begins to pile the rice into it, filling it to the top, deciding that she’s more than starving. In one hand she holds the bowl, whilst the other searches the utensil drawer for a spoon.

They don’t have a dining room in their small two-story house, only a four-person table in their kitchen. Usually most times than not, the Nocedas opted to eat their dinners in the living room, huddled around the coffee table, deciding that it’s more comfortable - either they would sit and talk casually on the couch, or they would watch whatever teleserie Camila was into. No matter what dinner was usually reserved for the two of them. Usually.

Luz is halfway into shoving a spoonful into her mouth before her phone begins to ring. She ignores it first, deciding that whoever is on the other side of the line can wait until after she’s done eating. There’s a brief moment of silence, and the naïve part of Luz believes that they got the message.

RIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGG

She lets out a groan and her other hand reluctantly reaches out to answer. Her eyes widen when she sees who’s calling. Quickly she shoves the spoonful in her mouth, trying hard to swallow before answering.

“Hwreow?” her words are muffled by a mouthful of rice.

The line is silent for a moment.

“Hey kid, short notice, but I need you to come in.”

Chapter Text

The Owl House is not a high-end establishment per se.

Neither is it a house.

It is in fact a run-down antique shop on the boarder of the town, run by the infamous Edalyn Clawthorne, or as she likes to call herself, ‘The Owl Lady’. Eda, in Luz’s (humble) opinion, is quite possibly the coolest person she knows - having a plethora of minor criminal offences under your belt and a sexy Harley-Davidson would do that for you.

The antique shop itself isn’t even an antique shop in a traditional sense either – Luz is pretty sure that she saw a Walmart vase on sale once, the original price tag still intact - but it still holds its own kind of wonder, with windchimes hanging from the ceilings, and even a collection of geodes and crystals on the countertop. And a job’s a job, so Luz can’t really complain about it, the pay is good, and Eda runs the place with a laissez faire attitude, so shifts aren’t the problem.  Mostly.

Usually, Eda is fair when it comes to shifts - having given Luz this job when she was fourteen, Eda would give her shifts on the weekend and only more recently after school. But these would be scheduled at least a week in advance, not half an hour prior.

And that’s how Luz Noceda finds herself working an unscheduled shift at The Owl House, on a Monday afternoon, bored out of her mind. The Owl House isn’t exactly the most popular store, only having a couple customers come in every week. In the entire history of working there, Luz can only remember one legitimate sale, that being that one time a customer bought a stained tablecloth, believing it to be a genuine Jackson Pollock, when in actuality it was Eda’s lunch that she spilled earlier that morning. So, when Eda asked her to come in, Luz can’t think of reason why, it’s not like anybody is going to come inside.

For the millionth time, Luz clicks open the till, taking out all the coins to count. She places each copper coin on top of each other in neat piles, muttering the number under her breath. After she finishes counting, she places them back in the till, then repeats.

This is so boring, she thinks.

Luz stares at the ring of keys lying lazily on the counter, contemplating on whether she should close early or not. Ultimately, she decides against it, fully knowing that Eda would be disappointed in her, so instead she sighs heavily, the short breath causing her front hairs to fly upwards. She leans forward, feeling the coolness of the counter beneath her skin. If she just closes her eyes, she can sleep, even just for a moment. It's not like the store is going to go up in flames if she closes her eyes for just a few moments.

Eventually a few moments turn to a few minutes, and a few minutes turns into an hour later. Her eyelids feel heavy and soft snores begin to come out her mouth.

DING.

Through bleary eyes, Luz gets up, blinking rapidly to get rid of the sleep. In the distance a figure stalks the end of the store, their head bobbing up and down looking at all the artefacts.

Finally, a customer.

Their figure is tall and slender, with an oddly straight posture, hidden slightly by a dark hoodie, their movements hesitant and fidgety. Luz raises her head slightly to get a better look at them, she knows that they don’t really have any regulars, but the way this person moves seems strangely familiar.

The stranger stops at the jewellery selection, cautiously eyeing the collection. Their gaze settles on a pair of dangly amethyst earrings, their hand slowly and tentatively reaches forward for it. Quickly, they take their hand back, their head beginning to look side to side, scanning the area for something. Once they think it’s safe, they rapidly snatch the pair of earrings before hastily making their exit towards the door.

Luz jolts up, “Hey! Get back here!”

In an instant, she vaults herself over the counter, knocking over a couple of knick-knacks with her foot, but she decides that she can clean that later. Right now, her problem is that somebody’s stealing from her. Luz swings the door open, the bell violently chiming on her way out.  

The thief is undeniably fast, already half a block away from the store, but unfortunately for them, Luz is running on adrenaline. She quickens her pace, going out on a full sprint, already starting to catch up with the earring thief.

Blood rushes in her ears, the chase causing her heart to pump rapidly – it is exhilarating and far more interesting than sitting behind a counter counting coins.

When the thief turns a corner, Luz suddenly gains speed, causing her to crash into the stranger with a harsh thud.

The impact of the fall has caused the thief to turn around, Luz’s body lying on top of them.  Luz groans, using her arms to prop herself up against the pavement. Once she regains consciousness, she looks down at the figure below her. A short gasp escapes her lips, and her eyes widen.

There beneath her, in all her glory, with her long brown hair sprawled against the pavement, her cheeks red from running, is-

Luz lets out an incredulous scream, “Amity?!”

♡︎

A phone call later, Luz and Amity sit in Eda’s office, the latter deciding to stay tight lipped after being caught. It’s a small room, closer to an equipment closet than an actual office. Papers are scattered messily around the room, and Luz is pretty sure that her invoice from years ago is stuck to the bottom of her shoe. Amity is sat on the tiny plastic office chair, her leg impatiently tapping against the floor.

Luz can’t really put her finger on why Amity would steal a pair of earrings, especially from The Owl House, it’s not like they’re particularly expensive, and even if they were, it’s not like Amity can’t afford it. When it comes to wealth within Gravesfield, the Blights even outrank Boscha’s family, them having the most capita within the entire town, so Luz knows that it has nothing to do with money. There’s nothing special about the earrings either, sure they’re pretty but they’re nothing extraordinary – she’s certain that Amity has much better jewellery back in her own home.

Luz watches Amity’s fingers, noticing how they fiddle with one another, clearly nervous.

“I’m not going to call the cops.” Luz says softly, trying to reassure the girl opposite her, “It’s only Eda, I kinda had to call her… I mean you did try to steal from us.”

“I did not try to steal from you.”

Ah, so she speaks.

Luz raises an eyebrow, her hand lifting the exact pair of earrings that Amity tried to steal, rattling them slightly, “Uh, you kinda did.”

Amity opens her mouth to say something, but decides against it, biting her tongue.

A silence grows between them.

Amity begins to pick at her fingernails, creating hangnails from perfectly manicured fingers. “I didn’t mean to steal from you specifically.” She mutters beneath her breath, deciding to settle on the logistics.

Luz can tell that this is the first time Amity did anything slightly out of place, because of course it is, she is Amity Blight, the closest thing to perfection.

Luz sighs, “Why did you do it.”

Amity begins to open her mouth to speak-

“So, what’s all this ruckus about?” Eda bursts into the room, her grey mane as wild as ever.

“Um, we kinda got a thief situation.” Luz says timidly.

“A thief situation?” Eda cups her hand over her eyes, and starts to scan the room almost cartoonishly, “Where?”

Luz points her thumb at Amity who’s patiently sitting on one of the office chairs.

 “Little Miss Hoity Toity?” Eda guffaws, her whole body shaking with each laugh, “Okay, I’ll bite, what did she steal. An old family heirloom? Cursed artefact? A cursed family heirloom?”

Luz places the earrings into Eda’s open palm, “Nope, just these pair of earrings.”

Eda frowns, “You called me all this way for a pair of earrings?”

“Hey, you told me it’s store policy to call you up!”

“Yeah, when it’s interesting! This is petty theft, worse, less than petty theft!” Eda wipes a fake tear from her eye, “And they said your first time is meant to be special.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, your first steal must be something important, but either way I’m just following your rules.”

Eda blows a raspberry, “Rules, shmules, you should’ve just used your instincts on whether or not to call me in for this.”

“I did use my instincts for this, and that’s why I called you, I’m not even meant to be here tonight, so you’re lucky that you just needed to deal with a call. I chased this girl a whole block!”

Amity raises an innocent hand, almost as if she’s asking a teacher to speak, “While this is all very touching, and I only committed, in your words, a minor offence, can I go now?”

Eda smiles a wicked grin, “Yes it was a pathetic steal, and that’s not including the getting caught part, but you forget one minor detail. You decided to steal from me. So now you have to deal with me.”

Amity shallowly gulps.

Eda places her arms on her hips, “Luz, I saw that mess you made outside, go clean it up whilst I talk to Miss Cat Burglar here.”

“What?! I caught her, I should at least be in the room!”

“Look Kid, I don’t know what weird power play you got going on, but I gotta have this talk alone. Capiche?”

Eda begins to stare Luz down, golden eyes boring into her own until she surrenders. Luz sighs, rolling her eyes as she makes her way out the room, slamming the door behind her.

“Capiche my ass.” She grumbles under her breath.

She collects the dustpan and broom from the corner of the store and begins to sweep the fallen knick-knacks. It’s not like she wants to see Amity get punished or anything like that, she only wants some recognition from Eda, maybe a ‘good job’, or at least something. The older woman has become a mentor to her over the years and Luz takes her appraisal very seriously, so her not allowing her in the room annoys her to say the least.

♡︎

It doesn’t take Luz long to clean up the mess, so for the remainder of the time she sits on the counter, counting down the seconds. The moment the door opens, Luz’s ears perk up, her head instantly turning towards them. Eda comes out the room with a wide proud grin, clearly pleased with herself, Amity on the other hand, is not. Instead, Amity stands there quietly fuming next to Eda, looking like a cat who had a bucket of water thrown on them, with a frown so deep that Luz thinks her lips are going to fall off.

“Luz.” She says proudly, slightly pushing Amity towards her, “Meet your new partner, Amity Blight.”

The smile on Eda’s face is absolutely mischievous, and something about the look on Amity’s face tells Luz that she had little say on the matter, or even a say at all.

“She’ll be here to help you with closing every other day.”

“So, she’ll be doing your job.” Luz points out.

“Precisely.”

Eda’s face exudes pride, and Luz knows Eda well enough to know that she is mentally patting herself on the back.

“Amity here will be starting on Friday,” Eda continues, “I’m not gonna be here so I need you to train her.”

“Eda, no offence to Amity, but I don’t wanna train her, that’s your job.”

“I’ll pay you double.”

“Double that double and we have a deal.” Luz bargains, and Eda laughs, her arms crossing in amusement.

“Double and a half.”

“Triple.”

“Deal.” Eda finalises; she reaches her hand out to Luz and they engage in a brief but firm handshake.

“Deal.”

“I’m right here you know.” Amity chimes in grumpily.

“Yeah, yeah, Grumps, just remember that I’m doing you a favour before you burn this place down,”

That seems to simmer Amity down, her mouth pressing into a tight line.

A favour? Luz notes down mentally to ask Eda about that later.

“I’ve overstayed my visit here.” Eda yawns out, “Now the both of you, get out of my shop!”

Eda swats her hands in a shooing motion, practically pushing the two girls out the store.

Once the door slams behind them, the bell chiming violently for the umpteenth time that day, Luz begins to sheepishly rub the back of her neck.

“I guess we’re going to be working together now.” She offers Amity a small smile, “I don’t think we’ve properly met. I know who you are, but I don’t think you know who I am, I’m – “

“I know who you are. I’ve heard of you, so no need to introduce yourself.” Amity cuts in, her voice like venom.

“All good things I hope?”

“No.” she says plainly.

“Right. Well… uhm, it’s kinda late now, do you want me to walk you home?”

Amity’s eyes look pointedly at Luz, her amber irises burning with a fiery intensity. “Look Noceda, we might be colleagues now but that definitely does not mean that we’re friendly. You’re the reason I’m stuck in this mess in the first place.”

“I’m not the reason for anything, you stole from us!”

“Attempted to steal.”

“That’s not any better!”

“Whatever. I can make my own way home.”

And with that Amity turns around, already beginning to head towards the west side of town.

Luz sighs, the thin wisps of fog clinging to her lips from the cold.

What a shift.

Chapter Text

“Okay, fuck, marry, kill: pie, cake, and…” Gus pauses for a second to think, “ice cream.”

“Obviously kill pie, marry cake and fuck ice cream.” Willow answers seriously, as if she has been contemplating this question for a long time.

“What?!” Luz protests, “Not ‘obviously kill pie’! Pie is so versatile; you can have sweet and savoury! So no, not ‘obviously kill pie’.”

“What can I say? I have a sweet tooth.”

“Nuh-uh, you are not killing pie. Ice- cream is the obvious kill option.”

Gus gasps, offended, “What did ice cream do to you?”

“Lactose intolerant, duh!”

Gus mutters a ‘fair point’ under his breath, placing his hand thoughtfully beneath his chin.

Lunchtime is the time where they just unwind and have the most ridiculous conversations, the current one being an example of one. The school’s cafeteria is fairly large with circular fold away tables dotted around the room; each table filled to the brim with students. It’s not exactly the Ritz but nothing really is in Gravesfield.

“So, Willow wants to kill pie and Luz wants to kill ice cream… all I’m hearing is that we’re all marrying cake?”

“Agreed.” Willow and Luz say simultaneously.

“Then I solved it.” Gus says proudly, “the answer to the human condition is cake. Now I finally understand the French.”

“Makes sense.” Luz hums in agreement, “I too would revolt over cake.”

Gus raises the sandwich he has in his hands to his mouth, frowning as the filling spills out from the other end, leaving him with two pieces of bread.  Luz snorts, bringing her own sandwich to her mouth, pouting as she succumbs to the same fate.

She chucks the plain bread at the tray in a huff, “Cafeteria food sucks!” she exclaims.

“And that’s why you bring your own lunch.” Willow tuts as she plops her bag on top of the table, taking out a cute Hello Kitty lunchbox from inside.  Luz feels herself practically salivating as Willow opens her lunchbox, revealing steamed rice, slices of cooked spam, and an assortment of vegetables, all topped with a fried egg. She lets out a low whine as her stomach begins to rumble.

Willow rolls her eyes, pulling out another lunchbox and placing it in front of Luz, “You’re lucky Appa likes you.”

Luz’s eyes widen with glee, shining like a million diamonds, “Gilbert, you son of a gun, I love you!”

She takes the box from Willow, not wasting time in opening it, inhaling the sweet smell of fresh food. Willow holds up a fork to Luz’s face, fully knowing that she doesn’t know how to use chopsticks.

Gus grumbles under his breath, his gaze astray, but this is quickly resolved as Willow pulls out another lunchbox, sliding it over to him.

“I don’t know what it is about you, but my Appa really likes you.” She says to Luz.

Luz looks up from her food, already having devoured half its contents, grains of rice stuck to her cheeks. She smiles a smug toothy grin, “It’s because I’m so charming!”

Willow wrinkles her nose, “No. It must be something else.”

“Hey! I am very likeable I’ll have you know. Parents love me.”

Willow smiles smugly, returning back to her lunch, settling on a quiet hum instead of another quip. The Parks are a hospitable family, always welcoming to Luz whenever she comes over to Willow’s house. Luz always made a show of greeting her dads and thanking them with every visit, just as her mother taught her to, and clearly that landed her reputable favouring with the Parks.

“Gilbert, Harvey, you have my heart.” Gus sighs out, his stomach full and satisfied.

Luz lets out a matching sigh, “Send my love to them both!”

“You two are really going to fill up his ego.”

“Good. Gilbert deserves the world!” she exclaims, an idle smile on her lips.

That smile soon drops when she catches someone’s gaze across the room.

“What’s wrong?” Willow asks. She’s observant, always has been, having a somewhat sixth sense in identifying and deciphering Luz’s emotions, even before she could fully process them herself.

“Amity.”

“Amity? What? Did she –“Willow turns to look at Luz, cocking an eyebrow at her friend in confusion, “Luz, what are you doing?”

Luz has her elbows propped against the table, fork held close to her eye, her tongue sticking out in concentration. “Imagining Amity behind bars.”

Willow sighs at this, “And why are you imagining Amity behind bars?”

Luz closes her right eye, fully focusing on how the tine of the stainless-steel fork captures Amity in an imaginary cell. And all she does is give a vague response, “Because she deserves it.”

♡︎

Luz has been late to class in the past for a lot of reasons.

Oversleeping, a poorly timed bathroom break and even simply forgetting.

But being pinned against her locker by the girl who tried to steal from the shop she works at was not one of them.

And despite all that, that’s where Luz is currently.

Pinned against her locker by the girl who tried to steal from the shop she works at.

“You cannot tell a soul Noceda.” Amity presses Luz deeper into her locker, her hands tightly gripping the collar of her t-shirt, elbow digging deep into Luz’s ribs.

“Tell who what Blight?” Luz settles on using Amity’s surname to respond to her, keeping the same energy in her tone. She doesn’t know Amity that well, but she never pinned her down to be the aggressive kind - clearly, she was wrong.

“About last night.” She spits out between gritted teeth.

“Oh, about how you tried to steal –“

Amity pushes her again and Luz’s head slightly hits the cool metal of the lockers.

“Not a word. To anybody. Not even your friends, understand?”

“And why should I listen to you?” Luz shoves Amity off of her body, straightening her shirt with the brief distance.

“Because” Amity pauses, her bright amber eyes beginning to glare at Luz with fiery intensity, “because I don’t want my parents hear about this. They can’t hear about this.”

Luz starts to look into Amity’s eyes, really looks at them. Behind the fire and fierceness, she sees desperation. It’s quiet but it’s present. And it suddenly clicks. Amity Blight is not perfect, she’s not untouchable, in reality she’s just a scared teenage girl. One that’s afraid of getting into trouble with her parents. Just like any other teenage girl.

“Okay” Luz says.

“Okay?”

“Okay.” Luz repeats, her voice full of softness and sincerity.

Amity’s eyes flicker between her hands, the locker, and Luz, her lips pursed in a tight line in pensive thought. Luz realises that Amity does that a lot – staying quiet for a moment to think.

“I- uhm - “ Amity stops, “Thank you.”

“It’s really no problem-”

“We’re still not friends.” Amity cuts in, not fully letting Luz finish her thought.

“I never – “

Amity stops listening, Luz is not even sure if she was even listening in the first place, and just as quickly as she came, she leaves, leaving nothing but confusion.

Luz just can’t figure her out.

♡︎

“Y como te fue en el colegio?” Camila asks, poking her piece of chicken with her fork.

“Fine I guess, the usual.”

It’s one of those rare days that they’re sitting at the kitchen table instead of the living room. Camila had decided to cook a whole roast dinner on the occasion of getting off of work early. Not wanting to get the couch dirty, Camila suggested that they eat in the kitchen. So, there they are, sat around the circular wooden table, their eyes barely meeting.

“Just the usual?”

“Yes.” Luz slumps forward, resting her head idly on her hand while playing with her food, shovelling her peas to one side of the plate.

“Luz, tus codos!”

Luz looks down to her elbows, noticing how they’re propped on top of the table. She rolls her eyes, knowing that her mother hates it when she has her elbows on the table. “Es malos modales!” she would usually say.

“Mama.” She groans.

“Come on Luz, es malos modales.”

Whoop. There it is.

Luz sighs, begrudgingly fixing her posture as she removes her elbows from the table.

“Mejor?”

Camila hums in approval, bringing her fork towards her mouth, quietly chewing the piece of chicken. “Your abuela called earlier.”

Luz perks her head up, suddenly interested in the conversation. “Which one? Abuelita Maria or –“

“No. Abuelita Silva. Your Papi’s mama.”

Luz swallows, hard. “Ah.” She says thoughtfully, “Y que dijo?”

“She misses you mostly. She says that she can’t wait to turn 80 just to see you!” Camila finishes with a laugh, but Luz can’t find it in her to join her.

It mainly hurts when she thinks about her dad. It’s like she has a peach pit lodged in her throat and she can’t breathe, but she swallows it anyways because anything is better than thinking about it.

“La extraño también.” She replies half-heartedly. It’s not like she’s lying either, she really does love her grandmother, and it’s been a long time since she’s seen her since she lives a couple of states away, but the last time she saw her was the funeral. And that’s a memory she wants to keep buried like a cursed treasure.

“Ay que bueno, I’ll let her know.” She waves her hand excitedly, her eyes brightening as another thought pops into her head, “That reminds me, universities! You still haven’t told me anything about it.”

“Mama, I don’t really want to talk about it.”

Camila dismisses her, not listening to her protests, “How about astrophysics? I remember how you used to sit outside for hours mapping out all the stars in the sky when you were a little girl, and your grades en la fisica aren’t bad either.”

“I haven’t been into physics since the 9^th grade!”

“And I’ve heard that Boston has a good course for it, and that’s only a state away, so it’ll be easy to visit.”

“Mama.”

“Ay, my little Luz, always with her head in the stars. You always drew so beautifully; it was like I was staring at a picture of the night sky itself. Oh! And those nights you would spend telling me about the different stages of the stars. I did enjoy those.”

“Mama.”

“And how you begged me to buy you all those science books about the planets.”

“Mama!”

Camila blinks harshly, suddenly removed from her daydream, “Que?”

“I don’t want to study astrophysics.”

Camila cocks her head to the side, looking at her with owlish eyes, “Entonces que quieres estudiar?”

“I don’t –“ Know.

She doesn’t know.

Luz stares down at her dinner and all of a sudden, she’s no longer hungry. She bites the insides of her cheek, pushing her tongue against the trapped skin. She has no idea what she wants. She doesn’t even know who she is.  Her nerves start to take a hold of her, and she starts to poke at her food with her fork. Camila doesn’t cook big dinners unless it’s a special occasion or if she has an announcement, and Luz doesn’t think that getting out of work earlier than usual is a special occasion.

“So,” Luz begins, trying to change the subject, “how come you finished work early?”

“I –“ Camila stops, neatly resting her fork against her plate, “Luz, cariño, I’m going to be working more shifts at the clinic. Just for a while.”

“Pero Mama, you already work so much, can’t they get somebody else to do it?”

Camila shakes her head, “No, Luz, I think you misunderstand. I asked for the extra shifts, just in the meantime, just until I get things sorted out.”

“Is this about money? I have some saved up from The Owl House, I can give it to you.”

“No, no, estrellita, keep that for yourself. This opportunity… it’s going to be very beneficial for us.”

“Mami, you’re barely even here anymore. You don’t need to work that much, it too much- “

“Luz. Cortala. Enough.”

Luz closes her mouth, sinking into her chair. The conversation is over, and Luz doesn’t like that.

♡︎

After the uneventful dinner, Luz stalks up the stairs, mindlessly making her way to her room. She hates arguing with her mother, completely abhors it. And it doesn’t help that this time the argument was about Camila’s work schedule, something that Luz has felt the consequences of for a long time. Ever since her dad died, Camila has been working more and more just to make ends meets, and Luz began to see her mother less and less as the years went by. Even now she understands why her mother needs to work more, but to a little girl it felt like she was being abandoned – it was like a second death. And despite growing older, and gaining a better understanding of the situation, Luz still holds resentment against it. At fourteen she had hoped that getting a job would lead to Camila working less hours and subsequently leading to her spending more time with her, but instead her efforts were fruitless.

Luz twirls a pencil in her fingers, her old spinning chair creaking beneath her weight. She likes to believe that other people don’t have an effect on her, but that is a complete lie. Her mother – Camila – and her constant pushing of the topic of university, it bothers her. It’s a constant reminder that she really doesn’t know what she’s doing with her life. She knows that already and hearing it aloud – it’s like a voice in a hollow room, it echoes, it mutates, it magnifies.

Luz lets out a frustrated groan, pushing herself back on the chair, making her spin. Why can’t she figure it out? She rolls herself towards her desk, opening her laptop before furiously typing out universities into the search engine. Most of the links are already highlighted purple but Luz clicks on them anyways.

It’s the same thing as before.

Each application asks for the same question to varying degrees.

500 words.

Who are you?

What do you want?

Why do you want this?

500 words.

Who are you?

What do you want?

Why do you want this?

500 words.

Who are you?

What do you want?

Why do you want this?

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who

        are 

                 you?

Her hand slams the screen shut. She can’t look at it anymore. It hurts her brain just thinking about it.

It’s so simple.

So why can’t she figure it out.

Luz takes out her phone from her pocket and starts to text the only people that can make her happy right now.

[ NERDS ON THE RUN ]

Luz:

- EMERGENCY MEETING!!

- MEET AT KIKI’S

Willow:

- Already On My Way!

- *omw

- I hate when autocorrect does that

Gus:

- Roger that Captain

- Uh

- @Willow can u pick me up?

Willow:

- I gottchu

- look out ur window

Gus:

- Sweet!

- See u soon Luz !!

Luz:

- <3

Chapter Text

Willow swirls her spoon around her milkshake, making a face when some of it splashes on her cheek, “So what’s the emergency?”

“Is it not obvious?” Luz sighs melodramatically, “My life’s a mess!”

“Ah,” Gus muses, “It’s a code 7, Luz is having an existential crisis.”

Luz sags forward until her head hits the table, a little muffled ‘Mhm’ following afterwards.

They’re sat at a window booth at ‘Kiki’s Diner’, a 1950’s style diner, with neon signs and checkerboard floors, on the side of town. It’s a popular joint where most of the teenagers in town leisure in; it is also opposite a gas station – so they have their fair share of tourists and truckers pass by as well.  While others know it as a ‘perfect first date’ spot or just the typical hangout, the trio know it as their ‘Luz’s emergency meeting’ rendezvous spot – the meetings being called that as Luz usually calls them whenever her life feels like its falling apart.

“I mean how am I supposed to know what I want to do with my life at seventeen? I don’t even know how to drive, and I only just learned that koalas are marsupials and not bears!” Luz lets out an exasperated whine, her body jumping upwards like a jack in a box, “I’m so doomed!”

Willow pats her back comfortingly, “You’re not doomed, just a little dramatic.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” she retorts, “you guys already have your lives figured out.”

“That’s an overstatement.”

“At least you know what you want to do. Like Willow, environmental science, that’s big. That’s the kind of degree that makes you somebody in the world.”

Willow hums, not knowing how to respond to that. Her eyes just soften with somewhat sadness, Luz doesn’t need words to know that she’s pitying her.

“Well, I don’t know about having things figured out,” Gus chimes in, “I just live things day by day, with only one thing on my mind: Broadway.”

“One track mind, one track heart.” Willow mutters.

“Exactly” he says proudly.

“I will never get your rendition of ‘Think of me’ in the style of ‘Hamilton’ out of my head.” Luz adds absentmindedly.

Willow nods with an affirming hum. “It was a masterpiece.”

“My best work. My dad complained a lot the week I was composing it. He said, ‘it’s a lot of noise’. And then I looked him straight in the eyes” Gus wags a dramatic finger, “and said ‘No dad. You’re a lot of noise.’”

“You did not say that.” Willow declares.

“You’re right. I did not say that, but I thought it!”

“If I said that to my Mami…” Luz shivers, “Dios salvame.”

They all begin to giggle at that. All the stress Luz had been feeling starts to lift from her bones.

“Don’t get me started on parents.” Willow groans out, “Just the other day my dad started asking me if I have a ‘special someone’. Like that’s so outdated, what if I don’t want a special someone?”

“Well do you have a special someone?”

Willow pinks at this. “No.” she says slowly.

Gus gives her a knowing look, but Luz takes her word for it, shrugging as she pulls the basket of fries towards her, popping one into her mouth. She chews loudly as her friends amicably chatter, suddenly, she stops chewing as something catches her eye. A wicked grin grows on her lips.

Luz grabs Willow’s sleeve and starts shaking her vigorously, “Guys! Look who’s working tonight!”

They all turn their heads, and there behind the counter, working at the till, is Boscha. Her hair is up in a messy bun, and she is wearing a simple yellow diner dress with a white collar. She has a sour expression on her face and her eyes echo boredom.

It’s something Luz discovered over the summer while her friends spent their vacation abroad and she stayed behind, stuck in Gravesfield. With nothing to do in their small town, Luz frequently visited the diner, ordering a burger, and fries before every shift at The Owl House. It was a casual day when she made the discovery, she was eating her food in silence in her usual spot by the window when she saw an all too familiar head of strawberry blonde hair. It turns out that Boscha had been made to work at the diner as a punishment ever since she maxed out her credit card. It’s a small thing, but Luz takes this as an opportunity to annoy the girl at any chance she can. While Boscha may have all the power at school, in the diner, Luz holds all the cards.

“No way!” Gus exclaims with all the excitement of a kid seeing snow for the first time. “Since when does she work here?”

“Since the summer.”

“Woah. This is rarer than seeing Bigfoot! And I have seen Bigfoot!”

“I’m gonna go annoy her.” Luz says excitedly.

“Luz no, she’s working.” Willow scolds.

Luz pushes herself up from the booth with a shit-eating grin, “That’s the point.”

Before Willow could protest any further, Luz is already halfway there to the counter.

Luz leans over the counter and her elbow slightly hits the tip jar. Her eyes fly open as she watches it precariously teeter on the edge before it steadies itself. She feels herself exhaling a breath she didn’t know she was holding when the jar doesn’t fall over.

 A Cheshire cat smile falls on her lips, “Hey Boscha- “ she says, each syllable drawn out and elongated.

“Ew. No.”

Luz raises her head with a wounded look, “What do you mean ‘Ew. No,’ I’m a paying customer!”

“More like a pain in my ass, I saw you order already, now go away.”  

“Well, I want to order more!”

“Go finish whatever you’re eating.” Boscha whines, her voice laced with annoyance.

“This is preposterous!” Luz gasps exaggeratedly, “I am a humble customer who would just like some food to eat!”

“I’ll tell you what you can eat, you can eat my fist-“

Boscha is cut off by a curt cough from the corner of the counter. Luz’s gaze follows the sound of the cough, and she sees a short woman with a perpetually red face, standing by the kitchen door, her foot rhythmically tapping against the floor. Shining against the light, is a tiny badge pinned on her uniform, the tag reading ‘Kikimora’ and right below it in neat capital letters ‘MANAGER’. She gives a look at Boscha, gesturing at her to serve Luz.

Boscha closes her eyes and slowly inhales, a quiet fury simmering beneath her skin. When she opens her eyes, a plastic smile is plastered on her face, almost twitching.

“Hi welcome to Kiki’s Diner, the best American style diner in the state- if you can think it, we can flip it. I’m Boscha. What can I get for you?” she says with the fakest customer service voice.

Luz smiles brightly – life is about the small victories. “Hmmmm… Lemme think.” She places a pondering finger on her chin whilst she looks upwards, “I would like some curly fries, but they can’t be too curly, and a milkshake but hold the milk and extra shake. And maybe a cheeseburger but substitute the cheese with lettuce, but it has to be organic- “

“Luz please stop bothering my colleague.” A tired voice calls out.

Luz looks to the side, a tall blonde boy in his late teens, with a small scar on his right cheek, stands next to her holding a tub filled to the brim with dirty dishes. His shoulders sag forward as his body physically sighs.

“Blanquito!” Luz exclaims cheerfully, lunging herself towards the boy, colliding against him with a brief ‘umph’ as she enwraps him in a tight hug.

“Tía told you to stop calling me that!” he says, his cheeks a dusty pink.

Luz dismisses him, “Psssh, whatever. Mami doesn’t need to know about that, Hunter.”

Hunter is Luz’s cousin, she isn’t quite sure how they’re related, not fully wanting to dive into the logistics of their tree, but he has always been there, both at family functions and her life. He’s a couple of years older than her with a serious aura, taking the role of an ‘older brother that she never had’ in her life. They grew up doing everything together, from learning how to ride a bike to their first concert (A Shakira tribute act at the local bar – fake IDs courtesy of Eda), Luz and Hunter were stuck to the hip to one another.

 Even when her dad died.

Hunter didn’t know him well due to him being from her Mama’s side of the family, but he comforted her, nonetheless. Her Tío Darius helped them out during the grieving period, picking Luz up from school and even cooking dinners when Camila couldn’t find the strength to.

Through thick and thin, Hunter’s always there for her, and he means the world to Luz.

“She will know about it if I tell her!” Hunter replies, a childish lilt at the end of his tongue.

“Ay Primito don’t be like that!”

“I will be like that until you stop calling me” Hunter stops, struggling with the word, “‘blahn-kee-toe’.”

“I’ll stop calling you ‘Blanquito’ when you learn how to pronounce it!” Luz sticks out her tongue at him.

Hunter’s face scrunches up like a paper ball, his cheeks a bright red, “It’s not my fault Papa never taught me how to speak Spanish properly!”

“No Sabo!” Luz teases.

“Luz!”

“Fine, fine, I’ll stop. You know I just like messing with you.”

Hunter’s body relaxes. “I know.” He places the tub of plates over on the counter, pushing them to the side. “How come you’re here anyways, isn’t it a little late for milkshakes and fries? Did Tía Cami get held up at work again or something?”

“No,” Luz shakes her head, “Mami’s fine, I just came from dinner with her.” She pauses. “I had a code 7.”

“Ah.” He says knowingly. “So are you here by yourself or…”

“No, I’m with friends. Gus and Willow are here.”

Hunter’s cheeks go a fiery shade of red, almost like the colour of the fire trucks they used to play with as kids. “Willow’s here?!” he splutters out.

“Yeah, she’s right over there in our booth if you want to say hi.”

“No, I’m food.” His blush brightens in embarrassment. Mortified, he trips over his tongue. “I mean good. I was going to say fine, but then I said good, except I didn’t say good, because I said food. But obviously I didn’t mean to say food because who would say food? – “

“Hunter.” Luz stops his ramblings, “Are you okay?”

“Perfect!” he says an octave higher than he should’ve. “I just realised that I have a job. Yes! A job, that I have to do… lots of burgers to wash - I mean lots of plates to fry.”

Luz raises an eyebrow, “Okay…”

“Ha-ha, nice talking to you primi, but I have to go. I’m a very busy man.” He hurries behind the counter, disappearing behind the kitchen door, the white double acting door swinging behind him. After a few seconds he comes back out, collecting the discarded tub of plates from earlier, giving Luz an awkward smile before disappearing for good.

“Weird.” Luz mutters under her breath.

She shrugs, brushing off his behaviour as just Hunter being Hunter.

Luz makes her way back to the booth- Gus had slotted himself next to Willow whilst she was gone, so Luz slides herself opposite them.

“What took you so long?” Gus exclaims, already having finished the basket of fries, Willow’s now empty milkshake lies in the middle of the table.

Luz stretches her arms forward, “It’s hard work being annoying.”

“Really? Gosh Luz, you make it look so easy.” Willow jokes.

“What can I say? I’m a professional. But on a serious note, I just bumped into Hunter, and we chatted, you know, prima to primo.”

Willow blushes, her cheeks tinted a pretty pink, “Hunter’s working tonight?”

“Yeah, you just missed him.” Luz gazes at Willow’s pink face, “Hey is there a bug going around? Both you and Hunter look kinda feverish.”

A devilish smile grows on Gus’s lips, all too knowing eyes staring pointedly at Willow, “Oh there’s definitely a bug going around. A love bug-“

Willow smacks a hand over Gus’s mouth, not allowing him to finish his sentence. “Now, now, enough of that.”

Luz perks up, “Hm? Gus did you say something?”

“No, he didn’t, right Gus?”

Gus shakes his head; his eyes filled with fear as his head is being held hostage.

Willow smiles a syrupy smile, one that’s so sickly it’s wicked, “See.”

“Right.” Luz drawls out, suspicious of her two companions. She slumps back into the booth, her body relaxing into the red faux leather of the seat.

SLAM!

Her moment of peace is interrupted by a pair of hands slamming a plate on the table in front of her. Next to the plate is a tall glass filled with what Luz thinks is foam, a fluorescent pink swirly straw hanging out of it.

Luz looks up at the newcomer, “What’s this?”

“Just what you ordered,” Boscha says nonchalantly, “’not too curly’ curly fries, oat milk milkshake extra shaken and a cheeseburger with a cheese substitution of lettuce, locally sourced and organic. Anything else?”

“Uh no.” Luz replies slowly, absolutely gobsmacked.

Surely enough laying right in front of her is the ridiculous order she made earlier as a joke.

How did she get the curly fries to look like that?

“Just to let you know, I may or may have not spat in your drink just to spite you, but that’s nothing you can prove.” Boscha catches Kikimora’s gaze, and her posture straightens, the plastic smile returning to her face. “Thank you for ordering with us, with the custom changes that will be a total of 45$, tips are appreciated.”

Boscha begins to glare at Luz, her eyes like bullets – easily piercing into her soul. Luz sighs pulling out her wallet, taking out a couple of bills. Boscha continues to glare at her until Luz places a couple more bills down. The strawberry blonde girl lets out a satisfied hum.

I guess this is what karma feels like, Luz thinks.

Boscha quickly snatches the notes from the table, instantly stuffing them into the front pocket of her apron. She brings her hand up to her forehead in a mock salute, “Kiki’s diner thanks you for choosing to dine with us, there’s no place like home, but here’s close enough. Kiki’s diner where the food is de-licious!” Her smile drops into a scowl after reciting the scripted motto, her yellow dress swaying as she returns back to her place behind the counter.

Gus swings his head side to side, then stops, finally settling his gaze on Boscha, “What the fuck was that?”

Chapter Text

“Careful with that kid!”

Luz raises her leg to balance the box on her thigh, her hands struggling to support the weight by themselves. In the distance, the sun begins to dip into the horizon, deep hues of pink and orange swirl around the sky. Twilight wind starts to crawl up her skin as Luz hauls another box out of Eda’s van.

“What’s even in this box?” Luz heaves out, stressed out sweat starting to form on her forehead.

“Priceless merchandise.” Eda states from her place at the chair by the door, sipping languidly from a

mug that has the phrase ‘I’m a real hoot’ written on it in cursive, a cartoon owl peaking from the handle.

Luz props down the heavy box down with a slight ‘umph’, her fingers beginning to feel painfully numb, “And can I know what exactly the priceless merchandise is?”

“Nope.” Eda says, emphasising the ‘p’ with a satisfying pop. “That’s part of the fun of unboxing, which you’re gonna do with Little Miss Sticky Fingers when she arrives later.”

Luz groans, “Ugh! Don’t remind me.”

Friday came way too quickly for Luz’s liking, the days passing by like a blur, and that meant that its Amity’s first day working at The Owl House – and Luz’s worst nightmare. She doesn’t know the girl well, but going off of their past interactions, Luz isn’t particularly looking forward to working with her. But there’s just something about Amity Blight that intrigues her. Amity always puts on this cool and poised exterior, but behind it all, there’s just this something that Luz thinks she wants to know better.

“Don’t complain kid, I know you guys are iffy with each other, but I think she’s going to be a good worker. She has that ‘it’ that I can’t put my finger on.”

“You mean free labour?”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

♡︎

After a while, Luz unloads the van completely, successfully transporting each box into the inside of The Owl House. Her body collapses against the counter in exhaustion, deflating like a balloon.  

I don’t think I can lift another box ever again, Luz thinks.

The front bell chimes and a familiar head of long brown hair walks in.

“Aight, that’s my cue to leave.” Eda looks Amity up and down, “Kid keep an eye on this one, make sure she doesn't set this place on fire by the end of the shift.”

With that Eda exits the store, Amity’s eyes following her like a magnet. When the door fully closes, Amity’s gaze snaps onto Luz, “So you’re supposed to train me.”

“Uh, yeah… Though ‘training’ is a strong word for it, I mean it’s not some fancy establishment, so there’s not many rules.” Luz awkwardly scratches the back of her neck.

“Except to call the manager when someone is stealing?” Amity adds almost amused,

“Yeah,” Luz says slowly, “except that. I guess there’s a couple of rules.”

“Well, are you going to elaborate on them or are you just going to stand there and have me guess them myself?”

“I mean I could that,” Luz tries to joke, a laugh at the end of her tongue, but Amity’s bored gaze tells her that it’s not well received. “But I won’t obviously. Uh… Follow me.”

Luz pushes herself up and jumps over the counter, starting to walk past Amity - to the end corner of the store. “This is Hooty.” Luz starts, pointing upwards at something mounted on the wall.

‘Hooty’ as Luz and Eda have come to call him, is a grotesque looking owl figurehead made out of wood. His features are carved into a warped expression, his beak pointing upwards in an oddly smug smile.

Amity makes a face, a look of disgust on her features.

“Hooty here is our mascot of some kind,” Luz continues, and though she has seen him a million times, she still tries to avoid eye contact with him. “Eda found him the day of our Jackson Pollock sale, so now he’s our token of good luck. And that’s the first rule here, under no circumstances can you sell him. He stays here at all times.”

“Jackson Pollock? And how did you manage to get your hands on a Jackson Pollock?”

“We didn’t.” a smile grows on Luz’s lips, “And that brings me to, rule number 2, apart from Hooty, and obviously the money, absolutely everything here is for sale, and you have to try anything to get a sale, even lie.”

Amity scrunches her nose, “That doesn’t seem entirely ethical.”

Luz shrugs, “It’s not, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.”

“Right. So, are there any other convoluted rules, or is everything else pretty standard and common sense?”

“Pretty standard.” Luz stops to think for a second, “Except the till can get tricky at times and the shutters are fiddly, but I’ll show you that at closing.”

Amity hums, “Anything else?”

“Nope.”

“So, what do you want me to do?”

Luz points to the pile of boxes in the corner, “Eda wants us to unpack those boxes and stock up, says that it’s priceless merchandise.”

Amity starts making her way to the boxes, following the direction of Luz’s finger. She crouches down, her eyeline matching the box height, inspecting the tape.

“Here you need scissors to open that –“

Amity brings up a sharpened nail trailing it along the tape seam, cutting it open.

“…Or you can do that” Luz finishes.

She joins Amity by the boxes, helping her in taking out the bubble wrapped items. Amity handles each item with such caution and care, gingerly unwrapping each one – Luz doesn’t think she’s ever seen hands so gentle.

Over time, the pile of boxes gets smaller and smaller- the sky outside is pitch black by the time they get to the last box. Throughout the entire unboxing, Luz tries to speak small talk with Amity, but each attempt is rejected as Amity prefers to stay silent, amber eyes deep in focus. The items Eda ordered (Found? Stole? Luz doesn’t know) ranges in weirdness, from the normal: ceramics of milkmaids and angels, to the peculiar: amulets with what Luz hopes are not human teeth.

Luz picks up the final item from the box, mindlessly starting to unfurl it from the bubble wrap. She almost carelessly discards the item until she sees a familiar shade of green peak from the packaging. Her eyes widen and a gasp escapes her lips.

Is that? –

“Is that a 1997 limited edition The Good Witch Azura figurine?” Amity vocalises, with an excitement that Luz didn’t know she had in her.

“Uh…Yeah…” Luz blinks rapidly, Amity’s words finally sinking in. “Wait. You read Azura too?”

Amity’s cheeks pink. “No.”

“Oh my God! You totally do!”

“No, I don’t.” Amity points her head up haughtily, “That doll is just a pop culture thing- “

“You did not just call it a doll.” Luz cuts in.

Amity ignores her and continues, “There’s only three of them in existence and two of them belong to the two voice actors from the 1993 animated series and the other was put on auction at the 1998 Comic-Con. It’s general knowledge.”

“Right. General knowledge. And its general knowledge in what? Nerd culture? Gosh Amity you’re a total nerd!”

“I am not!”

“You so are!” Luz says childishly. Her eyes widen in glee when an idea pops in her head, something that would guarantee if Amity’s an Azura fan. “You know, I actually really liked the 2012 live action film, it’s what introduced me to the series.”

“How do you like that shit?” Amity shrieks, her face absolutely mortified. Someone would think that Luz just told her that she killed Amity’s family pet by her reaction, not that she liked a movie. “It is the worst film to ever exist! A total abomination. And they keep pronouncing Azura’s name weirdly! I mean how hard is it to say Azura?”

Luz smiles the biggest ‘gotcha’ smile she can muster.

“The horror!” she says sarcastically, pride bubbling in her stomach.

Amity’s eyes dilate in realisation, her face flushing a magnificent shade of magenta, “Nonononono-“

Luz’s smile widens, “Yesyesyesyesyesyes!”

“Well at least I’m not a fan of that atrocity!”

“I’m not a fan, I lied! I knew that I could catch you out with that!”

Amity groans, “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope.”

Amity groans again, this time it’s more high-pitched and whiner. “Fine. I love The Good Witch Azura, happy?”

“Ecstatic.” Luz drums her fingers against one of the discarded empty boxes, not being able to contain her excitement in just her smile. “So, what’s your favourite ship?”

“Definitely Hecate and Azura.”

Luz’s heart thrums in her chest, “They have so much chemistry with each other!”

“Right? At first, I was sceptical ‘cause they had that whole rivals thing going on… But who doesn’t love a good ‘enemies to lovers’?”

“It’s only the best trope ever!”

“And the way Featherwhyle writes Hecate’s arc? It’s my favourite redemption arc of all time!” She gushes, her cheeks brightened by a beautiful shade of pink, and Luz briefly thinks that she looks pretty when she’s freely talking.

Her focus starts to shift, her eyes falling back on the Azura figurine, especially her green hair. She then looks back up at Amity, her eyes darting between the two.

“Your hair.” Luz says absentmindedly.

“What?”

“Your hair before the summer. It was green.” Luz brings up the figurine to Amity’s face, picturing the green hair on Amity, “Hey, it used to be the exact same shade as Azura’s, what a coincidence.”

Amity snatches the figurine from Luz’s fingers, her cheeks a fiery red. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let’s just get back to work, we’re wasting time talking.”

And just like that, that bubble of concord suddenly pops. A wave of coldness washes over Amity and it’s like the conversation they were having never existed.

Amity Blight is an enigma, one that Luz wants to figure out.

♡︎

The rest of the shift goes fairly quietly.

Amity doesn’t talk and for the most part she stays on the other side of the store, away from Luz. When the time comes, Luz shows her the hacks on how to use the till – “You just need to hit it twice, hard, and it opens!” – and how the close up shop, teaching her which keys to use and how to pull down the shutters- “The trick is that you have to use your whole-body weight!”.

They wordlessly part ways and Luz starts to make her way home.

Luz doesn’t think that they’re friends, not yet, but she feels like they’re making progress.

The walk back home is Luz’s favourite part of finishing a shift. It’s her time to think and unwind.

It’s a quiet night, with the stars shining right above her. There’s the occasional hoot of an owl from the distance and an ambience of calm created by the quiet constant hum of the streetlights. Trees rustle in the night breeze. Everything is peaceful yet moving – alive.

Luz enjoys that part the most. That despite how barren the streets are - Luz being the only one out at that time - everything feels alive, and free.

She stretches her arms forward before idly crossing them behind her head. Above her the stars observe her with watchful eyes, blinking ever so often. Stars are odd she thinks. They’re millions of miles away but they still exist in the same world as her.

And they’re massive.

Stars are bigger than she can ever imagine, a size so incomprehensible that it hurts her brain just thinking about it. But if stars could think they would be thinking the same thing, about how small Luz is.

And she is.

Compared to everything, compared to the world, compared to the universe, she is small.

She doesn’t have any impact on the intricacies of the universe. If a meteor were to hit the earth in that moment, she wouldn’t have the power or control to do anything about it.

She hates feeling small. Insignificant. It just reminds her that in the sum of it all she is just a spec in the grand scheme of the universe.

She hates that part of the walk. She hates the part where she feels dead amongst life.

Luz sighs.

Just keep walking.

♡︎

Luz toes off her shoes at the entrance, quietly closing the door behind her.

She hangs her jacket on the banister, ready to dive into her bed, but something catches her gaze before she makes her way upstairs.

The kitchen light is on.

Usually at this hour her mother would be sleeping so that she can wake up early the next morning. Her first thought is that her mother left the light on, forgetting to turn it off before bed, but that thought is quickly snuffed out when she hears the familiar melody of Camila’s voice.

“I don’t know. Luz - she just won’t speak to me.”

Luz stops at the sound of her name.

She silently tiptoes her way to the kitchen, hiding slightly behind the wall.

Camila is sat at one of the chairs, her eyes tired with sleep and riddled with worry. She’s still dressed in her work scrubs, her veterinary name tag still pinned to her breast pocket. Her head is slumped on her hand, her other hand holding her phone close to her ear.

Who is she talking to?

“I know, I know. But she should know by now, right? I mean at this point most kids know what they want to study, but Luz. She doesn’t talk to me anymore, and I try to talk to her but its like her mind is occupied with something else. I – yes. Yes, I understand… I don’t know. I just think this might be my fault.” Camila stops and tears start to well in her eyes. Luz’s heart drops. She’s never seen her mother cry like this, not when it came to her. “Things have been hectic ever since… you know. But it’s been 8 years and I’ve tried my best but what if its not enough? What if I’m not enough for her?”

Luz’s insides knot. She wants to go over to her mother to hug her and tell her that she’s enough. But she doesn’t. She can’t. She’s an intruder, watching a private moment.

“I just wish she had more conviction, more direction, something. She’s a smart girl but she… she doesn’t do anything with it, and her teachers, they’re hard on her… I don’t want her to be like me. She’s a good kid. A really good kid. But I don’t want her to go through what I went through… University, it will be good for her.”

Slowly, Luz starts to peel herself off the wall, she’s heard enough. She rushes to her room and slams the door shut.

Guilt pools at the bottom of her stomach, its thick and heavy like tar. It makes her feel sick.

Her mother feels like its her fault that Luz doesn’t know what she wants.

Why can’t she figure it out?

She tries. Luz tries.

You’re enough for me, but when will I be enough for you?

Chapter Text

“Go Willow!” Luz hollers, jumping from her seat.

Cheering alongside her is Gus, his face painted yellow and blue – the school colours – while he passionately waves a couple of flags. The roller derby arena is small and makeshift, as it is in fact not a roller derby arena but rather the school gymnasium converted into one just for the event. In previous years the roller derby team didn’t get much attention from the school, only existing in the background, but ever since Willow joined the team in sophomore year, they have actually begun to win things and the team started gaining traction.

Below them Willow is dressed in a yellow tank top and blue shorts, whirring around the gymnasium floor in her skates. Her eyes are fixed and focused, eyebrows furrowing in concentration – like a predator in the wild. Willow rams herself into an opposing player, causing the purple and white player to spin on their skates, eventually leading to them falling harshly on the floor. The sound of skin hitting the wooden floor echoes across the gym.

Luz winces, “That looks like it hurt.”

“And Willow’s awesome! Look at her go! She’s practically skating circles around that jabber.”

“Jammer.” Luz corrects him.

“Jammer. I mean look at her, she’s virtually flying!” Gus cups his hands over his mouth, “Glandus can suck it!”

A small crowd of students in white and purple turn around and glare at Gus.

“Yeah, you heard me!” Gus continues, “You can S-U-C-K on my-“

Luz covers his mouth with her hand, the last of his insult lost and muffled into her palm. Her mouth twitches slightly as she offers them a nervous smile. “Sorry about him, he just gets really riled up at these things.” She turns to Gus, “Gus stop trash talking the competition, we’re here to support Willow, not start a fight!”

“It’s not starting a fight if they’re already losing.” He sticks his tongue out at the Glandus students.

Luz rolls her eyes, turning her focus back to the game. Willow is expertly weaving between the players; her roller skates glide smoothly across the court - it’s almost like the floor is made of butter. She wears a determined look on her face and Luz knows that it’s the face Willow puts on when she knows she’s going to win. It’s the face of a victor.

Willow rams past the players, merely missing the elbow of a particularly aggressive Glandus student with deep purple hair. Luz’s heart throbs in her ears. She’s seen Willow play in the past, and she was amazing in each play, but currently, the stakes are intense, everyone is trying to get the attention of the scouts. For some this is their only chance to get into college- the full ride scholarship can only be appointed to a couple of exceptional students, and Willow is dead set on getting one of those spots.

Swiftly and rapidly, Willow ducks beneath the arms of the Glandus students, and once she gets through the wall of limbs, she taps her thighs, ending the time for the other jammer- starting a new play.

“I’m going to take a gap year.” Gus says.

Luz perks up, her interest piqued, “Hm?”

“I’m gonna take a gap year. Like I’m going to go around the world, try new things out. I might even take a few courses, hone my skill, expand my horizons. Then I’m going to get into training, perfect everything, my singing, dancing, acting, all of it. Maybe even start a new diet and regime. It’s going to be tough but it’s all going to be worth it in the end.”

“You really thought this out, what happened to living things day by day?”

“I mean I still go by it, but I really want to get into Broadway. And these people, the ones going to Julliard, New York, and even Michigan, they’re intense. Triple threats, maybe even more… I need to take a year back and improve.”

“Makes sense. I guess I’ll be the only one staying behind. It’ll be like I’m the mom sending their kids off to school.”

Gus softly pushes her shoulder, “Don’t be like that, you’ll figure something out.”

Luz feels something dark and heavy form in the pit of her stomach. It’s this ugly something that flutters and concaves like a stray firecracker slowly dying.

Her throat tightens and restricts, and suddenly it’s hard to swallow. She settles on a small smile, “Sure.”

Apart from the occasional cheer for Willow, they sit in silence.

Across the gymnasium, Luz sees amber eyes and a head of long brown hair. Amity catches Luz’s gaze and offers her a small, awkward wave. It’s been a few weeks since Amity started to work at The Owl House, and while their foundation began as shaky, it had begun to form and strengthen over time. In their shared shifts they would talk about miscellaneous things, like the weather or weird items they found – casual things, shallow conversations, but mainly they talked about Azura. They talked about Azura a lot. And in that time, they had begun to form a relationship that Luz would call a kinship, not quite a friendship but close enough.

Luz waves back.

“So, what’s going on with you and Amity?”

Luz drops her hand, “Nothing is going on between me and Amity.”

“Then why are you waving at her? Just last month you were imagining her behind bars.” He asks.

Luz gapes like a fish; she closes her mouth ending it with a shrug, “She’s just been nicer lately, that’s all. I guess we’ve been getting along ever since- “

She stops.

Amity doesn’t want anybody to know about her working at The Owl House and that includes Gus and Willow. It pains her to keep a secret from her friends, but she made a promise, and she’s intent on keeping it.

“Since what?” Gus raises an eyebrow.

“Since nothing. She’s just been nicer, and she waved at me, I’m not going to be a dick and not wave back.”

“Mhm.” He isn’t convinced.

“Fine! Don’t believe me.” She says, raising her arms in the air in exasperation.

“I didn’t say anything. But if you’re trying to imply that there’s something for me to believe in- “

“I’m not implying anything!” Luz huffs grumpily.

“Okay, if you say so.”

“I am, I am saying so, because there’s nothing going on.”

“I believe you.”

“The way you’re saying that makes me think that you don’t.”

“Whatever you say Luz.” Gus shrugs.

Luz opens her mouth to respond but is interrupted by the loud cheers of the crowd. She turns her head and Willow’s in the lead, fiercely skating in circles. The loud blare of the timer echoes in her ears and a wave of euphoria ripples amongst every single Hexside student. Roars of excitement bubble over like boiling water in a pot and Willow revels in every cheer, her arms proudly shaking in the air. Luz didn’t know when she got up, but next thing she knows she’s tripping over the stalls, making her way down to her best friend.

The moment her foot hits the gymnasium floor she pounces at Willow, wrapping her long arms around her, peppering her hairline with a row of kisses, “You fantastical juggernaut! You were amazing out there!”

“It’s a team effort, I can’t take all the credit.” She laughs, pink tinting her cheeks.

Luz doesn’t know when Gus joined the hug but he’s there, towering over them both, his head resting on top of them, “You’re being too modest ‘Low, you were definitely the star player. I mean even your helmet has a star!”

“Yeah,” Luz agrees, “the team would be nothing without you!”

“You guys flatter me too much. The team’s great and Skara is an amazing pivot- I couldn’t ask for anybody better.”

“Grow an ego woman!” Gus blurts out, “Let us compliment you!”

“You’re the star player of the Banshees… the school pride –“ Luz wraps her arm around Willow’s shoulders, her hand stretched outwards in emphasis.

Willow groans but a laugh is concealed within it, “Oh my God, if Boscha heard you say that…”

“Then let her hear it!” Luz exclaims puffing her chest out. She inhales, with all her power she begins to shout, “Hey everyone! This is my best friend Willow and she’s the best player to ever exist! She is the star player of the Banshees and the school’s pride!”

“Luz, stop it!” Willow tries to stop her by covering Luz’s mouth, but she wriggles about, hopping from one place to another, continuing to shout her appraisals.

“Willow Park is the fastest, coolest person in the world! Miss Park when you’re famous do not forget your dear friends!”

In the madness of it all, Luz sees Amity exiting the gymnasium with who she assumes are her friends, Amity’s eyes follow her as she’s being chased by Willow- her gaze unwavering. Their eyes meet, and Amity releases a quiet giggle at the antics - the smile is there, ghostly, but Luz catches it anyways. She fades into the crowd as they mill out the exit door.

And suddenly Luz’s heart is in her ears and her body feels numb.

♡︎

After the adrenaline of the victory washed over them, they find themselves ending up at Luz’s house.

Camila has missed Willow, not having seen her since before the summer, her win turning into the perfect opportunity to see one another again.

When they enter the Noceda household, the smell of cinnamon and vanilla attack her senses. In the kitchen Camila is happily humming to herself, dancing to an old bolero song blaring from the speaker. Her hands are covered by a pair of old red oven mitts, the heart pattern that was once on them now faded. She’s clearly lost in the song, and a devilish thought pops into Luz’s head.

With feather-light steps, Luz approaches her mother, her arms raised above her head. When she’s close enough she forcefully clamps her hands on Camila’s shoulders.

“BAH!”

Camila instantly jumps upwards, her heart in her mouth. “Mija! Por que haces eso?” Her hand comes up to her chest to soothe her beating heart. She smacks Luz’s shoulder, still in shock, “Tonta! Un dia vas a matar tu pobre madre.”

Luz crosses her arms, “No seas dramática, no te voy a matar!”

“Un día!” Camila stops scolding Luz when she sees Willow and Gus by the door. Her face becomes a starry galaxy, bright and brilliant – full of joy. “Willow! Gus! Ay, que no te visto hace tiempo! Come give me a hug!”

They waste no time in approaching Camila, wrapping their arms around her warm body. Camila bombards their cheeks with a million kisses, affectionately showing them her love. Her mother always holds such tenderness when it comes to her friends, adopting them into their family, considering them one of her own. She is that kind of woman, overflowing, flooding, with love. She always has that – love, always having enough to give out like an endless cornucopia.

“We missed you too Tia!” Willow giggles, snuggling closer to Camila. “It’s so unfair, Luz hogs you all to herself like the glutton she is!”

“She is a very selfish child; I spoil her rotten!” Camila jokes back. “That reminds me!”

Slowly Camila unwraps herself from the teens and starts heading to the oven. The warm, comforting smell of cinnamon and vanilla fills the room when she opens the oven door, and Luz is briefly taken back to her childhood, memories of scraped knees and healing kisses echo in her mind.

“Augustin, cariño, can you get me a plate por favor.”

Gus quickly relays her orders, placing a large plate on the kitchen table. Camila grabs the tray from the oven, carefully shuffling the cookies onto the plate.

“I made galletas de canela, Willow’s favourite.”

“Tia you shouldn’t have.”

Camila waves a dismissive hand, “It’s nothing, anything for my ganadora!”

Willow blushes, turning her head to Luz, “You told her already? It was meant to be a surprise!”

“No, Luz didn’t tell me anything, all she told me was that you had a game, the winner part is a given.” Camila smiles with such fondness.

Willow flushes pink, shuffling on the spot in embarrassment, “Thank you Camila.”

“Es nada, I’ve always believed in you abejita.” Camila pulls out a box of icing sugar from the cupboard, “Ya, the cookies have cooled down now, so let’s decorate them and start eating.”

♡︎

Willow and Gus are long gone by the time Camila starts getting ready for work.

“You’re taking a night shift?”

“Es el unico shift extra que tenieron.” Camila sighs, her eyes: apologetic.

The cookies from earlier have now all been eaten, only crumbs left on the plate. The only pieces of evidence of the cookies ever existing are the bowls and tray sitting in the sink, remnants of batter still stuck on the ceramic. And after all the laughs and jokes shared in celebration, Luz sits in silence. Sits in silence as her mother places a kiss on her cheek, sits in silence as the door shuts close, sits in silence with her thoughts- alone.

It’s a plummet that she feels from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet- the highs falling quickly to the lows.  She hates how it can happen so quickly, this deep depression.

But hey, that’s just part of being a teenager, right?

Chapter Text

Tick, tick, tick.

The ticking of the clock becomes oppressive after a couple of hours.

Luz knows that the clock isn’t even functional, its old and it tells the wrong time, but it ticks nonetheless, its heavy silver pendulum swinging side to side. She stares at it from her place at the counter, her hand idly beneath her chin.

She’s late. Amity Blight is late.

She’s more than late, it’s already close to closing, the sky outside is a perfect shade of black, with clear, bright stars freckled on its skin, and Luz had already finished all the tasks Eda set for them.
It’s an odd thought because Amity Blight is never late, to anything – Luz is certain that the girl had even won punctuality and attendance awards in school, she was just like that. So, the idea of her being late is almost absurd, as absurd as the idea of flying pigs wearing tutus or dinosaurs speaking French- an impossibility. Hell must be freezing all over, because the impossibility became possible, and all truths in the world begin to point at the fact that Amity Blight is late.

And like all impossibilities, its existence just feels wrong, and Luz can’t help but feel worried. Something must have happened to her, something bad, terrible, horrific, because some great force must exist for an impossibility to occur. It hollows her, scoops out her insides and serves it on a platter, filling her with this deep anxiety instead. But she pushes it down and ignores it. Because in the end, the final truth, the very real possibility is that Amity and Luz are friendly but they’re not friends. To be honest she doesn’t know what they are.

They talk, and she laughs, this sweet melodic laugh that makes her think that this is what the Gods hear when cherubs sing to them, filling Luz with this fervent emotion that leaves her feeling feverish. And sure, Amity waves at her and chats with her in passing at school, but it’s nothing more than that. It’s never more than fleeting conversations.

It’s never deeper than that.

♡︎

Luz pulls down the shutters, its metallic rattle vibrating on her skin.

Amity didn’t turn up to her shift at all.

Maybe that shouldn’t bother her more than the slight inconvenience (because it’s a dick move to leave your co-worker alone without notice), but it does. It does bother Luz beyond the amount of bother she should feel. She doesn’t fully know or understand why she’s so bothered by the idea. Part of her thinks it’s an obsession with the impossibility, the other part of her thinks that it has to do with this undecipherable, feverish emotion she’s been feeling.
Fog forms around her lips when she exhales, a crisp breeze crawling up her arms, it’s the tell-tale signs of mid-autumn, the cold finally sinking its teeth fully into the earth. Luz shivers slightly, rubbing her hands up and down her arms to warm herself.

Luz left her bike at home again, which means walking home in the cold. It won’t be a problem if she just sticks to her usual route and walks directly home. But she doesn’t.

She’s really not sure why but she decides to take detour, visiting the unfamiliar (well lit) streets of the upper side of the suburbs. The houses are grand here, modern, with white picket fences guarding them, all neatly in a row- almost militant. Each house is adorned with perfect, trimmed, green lawns with gauche gnomes and flamingos decorating them. It’s picturesque, like something you would find on a postcard.

They get bigger the more she walks, like a tower of dominos, each more elaborate than the previous- it is clear who holds the wealth– and soon she finds herself stuck in a labyrinth of champagne flutes and clutched pearls, a neighbourhood that’s so alien to her. Suddenly she’s transported into a new world.

Luz is not even sure she can call these houses part of the suburbs, they’re far too expensive and far out the reach of the average American family, she’s not even sure she can call them houses. They’re huge, enormous, gargantuan, any descriptive words of the sort – they are mansions. Gone are the gawky decorations that tied the previous houses to a semblance of normalcy, these mansions are carefully cultivated, elegant and rich.

At some point her feet stopped, gluing themselves in front of a particularly nice-looking house. It has a different architecture to the other mansions, instead of being modern with wide windows and rectangular walls, this one is Victorian and gothic- a perfectly preserved time capsule of the past. In some way it is beautifully haunting, much more akin to a manor than a house or a mansion. It is oddly enchanting.

Luz’s thoughts are interrupted by the loud sound of shouting emanating from the manor, the lights are on, silhouetting two figures behind the thin curtains. Whatever they’re arguing about is intense, their voices loud and powerful, travelling across the neighbourhood. Before she knows it, one of the figures storms off making their way to the front door. Luz has no time to run, her feet planting themselves to the ground, she’s clearly going to get caught by the incomer.
The door slams shut, echoing in the air. A girl starts flouncing across the lawn with such vigour that Luz’s heart starts thrumming in her throat. The closer she gets the more pronounced her features become, highlighted by the streetlights. At first Luz sees a ribbon of brown hair, then, more severely, she sees red cheeks and furrowed brows.

“Oh, great it’s you. Are you fucking stalking me Noceda?” she shouts.

Amity Blight.

“No, I was just in the neighbourhood- “

“This is just perfect. Of course, you would be here.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means, that you’re always there for my worst moments. It’s like you’re ready to witness the worst of me, prepared to watch me mess up. What? Do you want a picture? It will last longer.”

She’s furious, her eyes reddened with past evidence of tears – blotchy with smudged stains of mascara. The way she looks standing outside her lawn is different to how Luz knows her, remembers her, here she is small, covered in what Luz presumes is a nightrobe, shivering under the night breeze, hurt and fragile. Far from the outspoken and headstrong girl, she had admired for years behind the scenes. Luz shrugs off her jacket – it’s an old bomber jacket that had belonged to her father, one they found together thrifting- and drapes it over Amity’s slender shoulders.

“I’m not trying to see the worst of you.” She says softly, Amity’s cheeks reddening in response.

“I don’t want your pity.” She hisses.

“I’m not pitying you; you wouldn’t appreciate that, and I don’t want to give that to you.”

Amity quietens at this.

This place, it makes Amity shrink into herself, it makes her tiny and even afraid. It hurts Amity. And Luz feels the urgent protective need to get her out of here. Far away.

Luz points her thumb towards the road, “Do you wanna take a walk?”

Amity looks at Luz, her eyes glowing under the streetlights flickering like fire, she then briefly turns her head, looking back at the coldness of the manor. She purses her lips then nods.

♡︎

“Is that the reason you weren’t at work today?” Luz asks.

Streetlights shine on them whilst the wind whistles by, they’re at least a block away from the manor at this point and Amity hasn’t spoken a word.

Amity pulls on the zipper of the jacket, her fingers twitching at the metal- whilst they were walking, she had slipped her arms through the sleeves, fully putting on the jacket. It engulfs her small frame but at least she’s warm.

“She’s a lot sometimes.” Amity finally says, barely above a whisper.

“Who?”

“My mother… she’s a bit critical. It’s too much for me and it’s so…”

“Suffocating?”

“Yeah.”

“I get that.” Luz sighs out, her hands mindlessly sinking into her pockets only for her to realise that she’s not wearing her jacket, “My mama can be a bit too much at times too… but that - whatever that was, looked intense.”

Amity scoffs, “Well, my mother’s an intense woman.”

“That bad?”

“You can say that.” She hums, her hands still fiddling with the zipper.

There’s a silence between them - while it’s not exactly uncomfortable, it’s not comfortable either.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes.” Amity says immediately, it’s not eager, it’s still hushed, but it’s filled with want. A want to spill like an over pressurised dam. She reserves herself again and responds with a much firmer, “No.”

Luz laughs, though it’s not mocking, “It’s either a yes or no. You can’t choose both.”

“I want to talk about it, but I don’t know how. It’s – It’s a lot.”

“I have time.”

Amity inhales and exhales through her nose, her shoulders rising upwards like a boat on the waves, “She has this image of me, these expectations of perfection that I can never achieve. It’s like she always wants me to be somebody else. A legacy…” she pauses, her voice caught on her tongue, “A Blight. If I’m not being compared to her, I’m being compared to my siblings…” Amity points her head upwards arrogantly, pushing her shoulders back, straightening her posture. Her eyes become steely and cold - a stark contrast to the hearth that usually resides in her irises. She clears her throat and continues in a fake falsetto, “Oh Amity, why can’t you be like your sister Emira, studying computer science at Stanford! Or like your brother, Edric - he’s going to cure cancer!”

Luz stares at her, fully taking in the girl standing in front of her, the cracks in the dam starting to spray fragments of water.

“And I guess it started to get to me,” Amity continues, looking away in attempt to avoid Luz’s gaze, “I’m already studying to get into law, just like she wants me to, and I guess it’s fine, but to be denied my own self like that, constantly compared… When someone looks at you and always expects somebody else, it hurts, and it’s not one of those quiet hurts either, it’s loud, and it’s ugly - it festers. And I… I guess I cracked, I shouted at her, and we started arguing… you can fill the blanks from there.”

“You don’t deserve that,” Luz says, her eyes warm and sincere, “You don’t deserve to be invisible. You deserve to be seen. You are somebody. I- I see you, Amity.”

Amity’s eyes become glassy. Luz reaches out to hold her hand, intertwining Amity’s cold slender fingers between her own – and Amity lets her.

♡︎

“Okay, three, two, one- Hey that’s cheating I didn’t say go!”

Luz had comforted Amity as she cried, holding her close to her chest. They stood there for a while beneath the streetlights, holding each other, as if it was the most important thing in the world. At some point Luz suggested that they should get something to eat, that consequently leading them to where they are now: in the middle of town, sitting on the curb outside a convenience store – having a slushie race.

Luz insisted that they should get every single flavour, but as fate would have it, only two flavours are functioning at 12 in the morning. So, Luz settles on getting blue raspberry while Amity gets strawberry, both giggling at the childish idea of having a race.

Amity snorts into her straw as Luz complains about her ‘cheating’.

“Shut up and drink!” she says, “I’m winning.”

Luz laughs, “Oh you are so on.”

They both grin into their straws as they competitively slurp their slushies. Feeling the cold in her nose, Luz grimaces once or twice, but that doesn’t stop her from drinking. Amity on the other hand has to stop a couple of times to regain her composure. After what feels like an eternity, Luz rises victorious, she pumps her fist in the air, gloating over her win. Her celebration however is premature as a sharp pain pulses in her head.

“Shit, shit, shit- brain freeze!” Luz groans, vigorously rubbing at her temples.

A wide grin breaks on Amity’s face, it’s almost instant how fast Amity falls into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. From behind them, the fluorescent lights from the convenient store halo Amity in a heavenly glow, every curve of her face and body are softened and shaped. Every crease on her face made by her smiles makes her shine and Luz wants to trace every single line with her thumb. She looks beautiful like this.

“That’s what you get for being overzealous!” Amity guffaws.

“I don’t fully know what that means, but you’re just a sore loser!” Another sharp pain pulses. “Ow!”

Amity smirks, “Look who’s sore now.” She scrunches her nose and sticks out her tongue.

“Wait stick out your tongue again.”

“What? No! Gross.”

“Just do it, trust me.” Luz pleads.

Amity groans and begrudgingly sticks out her tongue, her own eyes cross-eyeing to look at it.

“Red.” Luz says smiling before asking excitedly, “What about mine?”

Luz sticks out her own tongue.

“Blue.” Amity confirms with the seriousness of a doctor diagnosing a patient.

Luz nods back with the same mock seriousness before throwing her head back laughing, Amity soon joining in afterwards.

It’s light and mesmerising the way Amity laughs, it’s something that Luz wants to capture and replay again and again, but instead, she settles on making her laugh herself and hearing it live.

♡︎

“So Boscha, what’s her deal? Real or Fake?”

They’ve started to make their way back to Amity’s, it getting too late for them to be out any longer. On their way back they’ve started a twenty-questions of sorts, but that was long discarded a couple of blocks back, now they just ask random questions, disregarding the whole ‘twenty’ part of it. Luz for the most part asks things about Amity’s life, what parts of it are her decisions and which are manufactured by her parents.

“She’s real.” Amity snorts, “One of the only real things that has come out of our pedantic parents. Even though we were forced to be friends at first, we kinda bonded over time. It helped that we have similar interests and we’re even on the rugby team together.”

“You were scary out there; I remember going to one of your matches.” Luz reminisces.

“Yeah, I guess. But it was fun, and I was just always in the zone when playing. It also helps that rugby is a full contact sport, it just allowed me to release all that pent up anger I had towards my parents in a socially acceptable way. It’s kinda like that scene where Regina George is playing lacrosse at the end of Mean Girls.”

“Oh, shit yeah. I can see that. All that teenage rage – that is totally you.”

“Thanks.” Amity deadpans.

“You’re welcome.” Luz smiles, stretching her arms behind her head.

“But yeah, Boscha may be a bit difficult at times- “

“You mean a major bitch.” Luz offers helpfully.

Amity rolls her eyes, “She may be difficult, but she’s a really good friend. You know she’s the one who dared me to steal those earrings in the first place.”

Luz raises an eyebrow, confused, “How is that being a good friend?”

“She wanted me to get out of my shell… I would always complain about my parents and do nothing about it. So, she wanted me to rebel, and the first step to that is to make my parents angry. But I kinda chickened out, and when I got caught, I begged Eda to not tell my parents. You know, deep wounds heal slowly, and old habits die hard - something like that.”

“Is that the favour she was talking about that day?”

“Yeah. I broke down crying, practically on my knees, begging, and she kinda took pity on me. I’m so grateful for that.” Amity pauses, “I don’t think I’m ready to face my parents if I did rebel. I don’t think I’m strong enough.”

“Sometimes its small things that make a difference. Like look at Boscha, she maxed out her credit card and now she’s stuck at that diner.”

“Oh my God, talking about the diner, you are a total dick.”

Luz puffs out her chest and grins pridefully, “Ah so you’ve heard.”

“Heard?! It’s all Boscha talks about. You’re driving her crazy!” Amity laughs.

She raises her arm and flexes jokingly, “What can I say? I just have that effect on women.”

Amity flushes red, “Right.” She twirls a finger in her hair, and Luz can’t help but stare at it, watching how the auburn contrasts the paleness of her finger. “So do you have any more pressing questions or is this interview over?”

“Your hair, before, did you dye it like that ‘cause of Azura?”

“Next question.”

“Nooo- Come on Amity, answer the question pretty please.” Luz flutters her long lashes at Amity, putting on her best puppy dog eyes.

Amity sighs, finding that she can’t say no to those big brown eyes, “Yes, I did. I just loved Azura so much that it wasn’t enough to just read the books and be a fan.”

“So why did you change it?”

“Huh?”

“Why did you change your hair?” Luz repeats, slower this time.

“My mother doesn’t like dyed hair, or at least when it’s unnatural. She made me dye it back to brown and straighten it over the summer because ‘College universities don’t like brightly coloured manes, it’s unprofessional and uncouth’.”

“That’s such bullshit, universities won’t care about your hair, they’ll be too busy admiring how cool and classy you are.”

“You think I’m cool and classy?”

“Definitely.” Luz’s hands come up to gently wrap around Amity’s wrists, “You’re amazing.”

♡︎

“So, this is me.” Amity says, standing outside the front lawn where the whole night started.

“This is you.” Luz parrots awkwardly, already missing Amity even before they’ve even parted.

“Thank you for tonight… It meant a lot to me.”

“It’s really nothing, I’m just so glad I made you smile.”

“Likewise, Luz.” Amity wraps her arms around Luz’s shoulders, tucking her face in the curve of her neck, and Luz reciprocates, welcoming her warmth.

Once they pull apart, Amity’s cheeks are tinted a dusty pink like the early hues of the dawn- new and enchanting.

Amity turns to leave but stops as her face lights up, “Hey, I’m having a Halloween party next Saturday, and I would love it if you could come.” She gestures to her house, “You already know where I live.”

“I would love to Amity.”

“Cool. It’ll be fun.”

“I bet.”

Amity is halfway across the lawn when Luz remembers something.

“Amity! I don’t have your number!”

There’s this awkward jog Amity does on the way over, it’s cute, and it’s accompanied by a small, embarrassed smile on her lips. She quickly types in her number into Luz’s phone, giving her a small wave before completely disappearing into her house.

Luz grins, her heart pounding profoundly in her chest. Looking down at her phone she realises that Amity added a little ‘<3’ next to her name in her contacts.

Her heart skips a beat.

♡︎

Luz is not even sure how her mother heard her coming into the house, she was featherlight and discreet in her movements, but she did, and now Luz is big trouble.

“Lucia Manuela Silva Noceda, donde mierda estabas?!”

Luz winces at the usage of her full name, Camila usually reserves it for when she’s filling out government documents, or like she’s using it currently – when she’s extremely livid.

“No text, no calls, nada.”

“Sorry mama-“

“No excusas, where were you and what the hell were you doing? I was worried sick. Do you even know what time it is? I have work tomorrow, and I can’t keep staying up for you to come home.”

“Mama, I’m not asking you to stay up, I’m big enough to take care of myself.”

“Yes, I do have to, soy tu madre por Dios. I worry about you, and you are still my bebe, and as long as you’re living under my roof, I am going to be concerned about your whereabouts. Now, donde mierda estabas?”

Luz sighs, her shoulders slumping forward, there’s no use lying to her mother. “I was with a friend; she was super distressed, so I had to stay with her and comfort her.”

Camila softens, her whole-body relaxing, “Una amiga? Y estan bien ahora?”

“Si Mami, she’s much better now.”

“Ay que bueno.” Camila sighs out. Her demeanour shifts slightly, and she smacks Luz’s shoulder, “Proximo ves digame. Mandame un texto, algo!”

“Okay Mami. Te prometo.” Next time.

“Okay querida, me voy a acostar. Duerma bien.” Camila kisses Luz’s cheek before climbing up the stairs.

Luz smiles to herself. In the end everything is worth it.

Amity Blight is her friend.

Chapter Text

“Do you think this looks okay?”

Luz fixes the collar of her shirt, her face scrunched up into a pout at she stares into the mirror.

“Where are we even going again?” Gus says, adjusting the white plastic armour of his storm trooper costume. Luz rolls her eyes, unbuttoning the first button and sighing.

“Amity’s Halloween party, I told you this.”

“Actually no,” Willow pipes in, “all you said over the phone was ‘Guys meet at mine, we’re going out, come dressed up’ then you hung up.”

She’s wearing a simple red knee length dress, a pointed tail lazily wrapped around her waist, with a devil horn headband pushing back her curls.

“Well, we’re going to Amity’s.” Luz pulls out a tinted lip balm and applies it to her lips, smoothly applicating a thin layer of red.

Willow raises an eyebrow, “That doesn’t explain why you’re getting all glammed up.”

“I just want to look good, is that a crime?”

Gus smiles knowingly, “Look good for Amity you mean.” He says in a sing-song voice.

Luz feels her cheeks heating up without reason, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, we’re just friends.”

“Uh-huh, and when did this happen again?”

“Guys if we don’t go soon we’re going to be late!” Willow says, looking at her phone.

Luz tugs at her long black blazer, then fixes her yellow sweater vest and red plaid skirt, making sure everything looks pristine. Pushing her hair back until it looks windswept, Luz takes one final look in the mirror before heading towards the front door.

Leaning against the kitchen doorframe is Camila, worry is worked deep into her eyebrows, a frown pulling at her lips. “Y vas estar bien?”

“Si Mama.” Luz says opening the door, Willow and Gus exit outside, offering a small goodbye to Camila on their way out.

“Who is going to be there? Do I know their parents?”

“Well for one, Willow and Gus are going to be there, and my new friend Amity is the one who invited me, so probably a couple of her friends too. And no, I don’t think you know her parents.”

Camila purses her lips, deeply in thought and Luz can read almost every single one of them in her eyes. Her mother has always been like this, anxious whenever she goes out, Luz knows it comes from a place of love, but it’s an annoyance nonetheless.

Luz watches as her mother’s fingers drum against the doorframe, “Y que hora vas a volver?”

“No se Mami, I’ll call you.”

“Is your phone charged?”

Luz groans, “Si.”

“Do you know if there’s going to be alcohol or drugs, I don’t want anybody to peer pressure you, if somebody tells you to do something you don’t want to do-“

“Okay Mami, I gotta go,” Luz places a quick kiss on Camila’s cheek, “Ciao, te amo!”

“Luz, wait! Espera un momento.”

Camila quickly dips into the kitchen and comes out holding something in her hands.

Luz’s eyes widen in horror, “Mami, no.”

“Ya, Luz, es buenos modales!”

Luz sighs and ruefully accepts it.

♡︎

Luz doesn’t what she was expecting, but in some weird way the Blight manor has become spookier. Fake spiderwebs stretch against the windowpanes, thousands of plastic spiders clinging onto the thin white lines. Paper bats hang from the portico, swaying slightly in the wind over the dozen carved pumpkins on the patio. An eerie vibe emanates from the haunted faces, fire dancing in hollowed mouths. The floor vibrates beneath her feet, the deep base from the music inside echoing in the ground. She can see the silhouettes of people dancing inside and suddenly anxiety begins to build inside her chest. She grips on tighter on the box in her hands, fingers sinking into the cardboard.

Admittedly, she has never been to a party of this calibre. Well, admittedly, she’s never been to a party at all (hanging out with her friends on a field with a bottle doesn’t count) , and the fact that she doesn’t know how to act and behave in one begins to dawn on her. Amity had invited her as a kind gesture, and she definitely doesn’t want to make a fool of herself in front of such a cool and classy girl – she really is so amazing.

Willow catches her frown and places her hand on Luz’s shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze.

“You’re going to be okay,” Willow says softly, “Now let’s go in.”

Gus’s eyes brighten and he tugs Luz towards the door, “Party~!” he yells, a slight skip in his step.

All her senses are suddenly assaulted when the door opens, music blares loudly out the speakers and oscillating projections of witches and ghosts bounce off the walls in various different colours. Artificial fog pools on the floor illuminated by bright floor lights, clouding the feet of people as they pass by.  The smell of alcohol wafts into her nose and Luz reactively scrunches her face. Everything is so new and her heart in racing, but it’s also so exciting.

“Wow.” Luz gasps out, her mouth moving before her mind could even think.

Gus mimics the sentiment, his head bobbing around excitedly, eyes completely awestruck. He starts to buzz even more, hopping on the balls of his feet when a large screen with moving words catches his eye. “They have karaoke!” he exclaims before beelining to the karaoke machine.

Willow tuts and shakes her head, a small smile on her lips. She sighs, placing her hand on Luz’s shoulder, “I’m going to make sure he’s okay, you know how he gets when it comes to karaoke. Call me if you need me.”

With that she leaves Luz at the entrance, disappearing into the crowd of partygoers. Luz shoves her hands into her pockets and her eyes flit between the rooms. She quickly makes the decision to make her way into the kitchen but is stopped when her gaze lands on the top of the stairs.

There stands Amity, her hand idly resting against the banister, and the world fades away around her. She is almost spotlighted in Luz’s mind, her figure highlighted by a heavenly glow. A long black dress hugs her curves, and Luz’s gaze follows the shape of her arms and the way the long sleeves billow around her wrists. A decolletage neckline shows off her pale collarbones, an intricate red jewelled necklace plunges down her chest. Her long brown hair flows down her shoulders, framing her delicate features, curling slightly at the end. Amity’s amber eyes are trained on Luz’s, dark and intimating, making her heart thrum in her mouth. Amity exudes elegance and grace; she’s never looked so gorgeous.

Luz’s mouth goes dry as Amity makes her way down the stairs, each step so graceful that it looks like she’s floating. At some point Luz’s feet started absentmindedly moving towards her until they both meet half-way at the bottom of the stairs.

“Hey.” Luz says, her voice cracking at the end. She coughs into her fist and tries again, “Hey Amity.”

Amity offers her a small smile, “Hey, I’m glad you made it.”

“Yeah,” she awkwardly scratches the back of her head, “here I am.”

“Here you are.”

Suddenly becoming awkwardly aware she is holding a box, Luz shoves it into Amity’s hands.

“Here, I brought you this.” She says, her words slurring into a ramble, “Well my mom told me to bring it, she says that its rude not to bring a gift for the host, so she gave me this box of cookies, and -uhm – you’re the host so I gave it to you. It’s dumb, I know, but, yeah – uhm.”

Amity laughs, “Thank you. It’s sweet of your mother to consider me. Most people just trash the place, but this is nice. I’ll put it in the kitchen with the other snacks.”

Amity smiles.

“You look amazing by the way.” Luz splutters out.

Amity’s cheeks redden, “Thanks. You look good too, pretty even.”

Excitement runs through her bloodstream and her eyes brighten, “It’s my Maka cosplay from one of my favourite animes. She usually has this cool scythe thing, but I thought it would be too much for a party.”

“I don’t think the scythe would’ve been too much, if its any consolation I think you would’ve looked really cool. I don’t really watch anime, but I really do like your costume.”

“You really should, I think you’ll like it, it has the magical world allure like Azura so it’s right up your alley.”

“I’ll think about it.” Amity says, her eyes flitting to the side.

Luz smiles and tilts her head to the side, her big brown eyes blinking owlishly. “So, what’s your costume?”

“Oh, it’s Carmilla.”

“Like from the video game, Castlevania?” Luz asks eagerly.

Amity laughs, her pearly white teeth fully on display. Luz catches a glimpse of Amity’s fake fangs, and her breath catches in her throat.

“No,” Amity says earnestly, gently correcting her, “like from the classic novel. Call me a cliché nerd but I love classic literature.”

“I bet.” Luz smiles despite her face feeling like it’s going to explode from how hot it is. “You’re like super smart. I love listening to you talk in class, you always give such great points.”

“Thanks Luz.” Amity blushes furiously, “I didn’t think anybody was paying attention to my ramblings besides the teacher.”

A small silence follows them afterwards, and Luz spends the majority of it looking into Amity’s eyes, recording into memory the way the lights make her irises look kaleidoscopic.

Amity fiddles with the fabric of her dress then looks up at Luz, “Do you wanna get a drink?” she blurts out.

“Sure.”

And just like that, Amity takes Luz’s arm and weaves between the crowd, leading her into kitchen. Luz’s shoulder bumps against the bodies but she ignores the temporary ache, all of her focus is instead on the heat where Amity’s skin connects with hers.

It’s not long before they’re standing in the middle of the large pristine kitchen, Halloween decorations draped on the white cupboards. Guests crowd around the marble kitchen island, mindlessly reaching out for liquor bottles, taking swigs from them until their minds go numb.

Amity lightly pushes a couple that are making out on the counter and takes a bottle before pouring a bit in two plastic cups. She pours a mixer into both cups before handing one over to Luz, taking a tentative sip from her own cup, pink lip gloss sitting perfectly on the rim. Luz takes the cup, heart thrumming in her ears and takes a large swig from her drink, ignoring the dull taste of alcohol on her tongue.

“I didn’t take you for a party girl.” Amity says, watching Luz down her drink.

“I’m not.” Luz replies, already refilling her drink, this time with some of the punch that sits on the isle. She’s not quite sure why she’s drinking so quickly, but it seems to quell the jittering nerves that bounce around manically in her stomach. “I didn’t take you for a party host.”

“I’m not.” Amity mimics her earlier sentiment. “My siblings were the ones to always host the ‘Blight Halloween Bash’ but they’re off in college now.”

“So how come you’re hosting?”

“Boscha convinced me.” She says simply.

“Ahhh.” Luz says rolling her eyes, a small smile on her lips. “Boscha.”

Amity lightly shoves Luz’s shoulder, “Don’t be a jerk!”

“So if Boscha told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?”

“Obviously not!” Amity exclaims, “But a party is harmless, and it’s also an excuse to see you again.”

Luz blinks, “You wanted to see me again?”

Amity’s cheeks redden as she brings her cup to her lips, hiding her face behind the plastic. “No. Yes. Maybe. I-“

Music streams in from the living room, and Luz’s ears perk up, the tune familiar and upbeat. A smile breaks on Luz’s face, “Oh my God, I love this song! Amity lets go dance!”

Amity squeaks, “What? Luz!-“

Amity is pulled into the next room by an overly excited Luz, her hips swaying to the rhythm of the music. Luz can hear Amity giggle behind her, making her heartbeat race. Once they are within the mass of bodies, plastic cups sloshing drinks as drunken teenagers dance, Luz holds Amity’s hands and sways her to the song.

“I don’t know how to dance to this!” Amity admits over the music.

Luz laughs, “How do you not know how to dance to music at your own party?”

“Skara makes the playlist.”

“Ah. Do you not know how to dance at all?”

“Of course I do, I’m classically trained.” She says.

“Ballet?”

“Close. Ballroom.”

“Then this should be easy! Look,” Luz firmly places her hands on Amity’s hips, moving them side to side, “Just follow my rhythm.”

“Your rhythm or the rhythm of the music?”

“Bold of you to assume they’re not the same thing.”

Amity laughs, “Okay smartass, what’s next.”

“You gotta just be loose with this. It’s all in the flow.” Luz slightly parts Amity’s legs with her own, both beginning to sway their hips in matching rhythms. Amity instinctively rests her arms around Luz’s neck, anchoring herself to her body. “See! You’re a natural, what did I tell you?”

“I’m just following you.”

“Still a hard feat, I’m hard to keep up with.”

Amity grins, her hands clasped around Luz’s neck tightening, “I bet.”

Bodies press against their backs, a mass of sweat and skin all compact in a small space like a tin of sardines. But all of this is pushed to the back of Luz’s mind, all she’s thinking about is Amity and her pink cheeks as she smiles.

The song begins to fade out, and Amity’s arms loosen, falling lazily by her side. She looks up at Luz her eyes shining with something that Luz can’t quite decipher. Another song starts to play, this one has a much slower tempo but Luz’s eyes brighten nonetheless.

“I love this song!” Luz exclaims barely above a whisper.

Amity rolls her eyes and chuckles, “Do you love every song?”

“Maybe.” Luz swerves to the side leading with her shoulder. “You lead this time, I’ll follow.”

“I think I’m better at following.”

“Come on, humour me.”

Amity briefly closes her eyes before feeling out the rhythm of the song, her shoulders rolling side to side. Luz follows in suit, matching her movement, their bodies growing closer to one another as the music plays. Amity’s hands come up and silently click as she begins to circle Luz.

There’s a certain magnetism when it comes to Amity Blight, and Luz can’t care to resist the invisible pull that makes her return to her each time.

Their eyes never lose contact with each other even as they move. Luz’s heartbeat becomes a second tempo to their dance – she’s pretty sure its beating so loudly that the whole West Coast can hear it. She finds herself getting even closer to Amity, so close that she’s only a breath away. A sudden urge to close that gap begins to twist her stomach, a stampede of butterflies raging in her insides, but she pushes it down and hides it in her mind. She’s not sure why she’s feeling this way, Amity is just a friend.

A friend with beautiful eyes and pretty eyelashes, a friend who smells like lychee and vanilla, a friend who makes her heart beat a mile a minute and her body heat up in seconds. And maybe those thoughts aren’t the kind of thoughts one would have when things are strictly platonic, but Luz likes to think that she just pays close attention to all her friends and Amity isn’t the exception.

She feels Amity leaning in closer with every movement and Luz subconsciously begins to close her eyes, she can almost feel Amity’s breath on her lips.

Just when their noses bump against each other a loud crash is heard from the other room, the sound of glass hitting the floor ringing in the air.

Amity jumps backwards, hitting someone behind her. Suddenly Luz becomes hyper aware of her surroundings, ears burning red.

“I better check that out.” Amity says through her blush. She hurriedly turns around and starts striding towards the noise, the crowd parting around her.

Luz stifles chuckle when she hears Amity screaming at someone in the distance, “Hey, no! Put that down! That’s a family heirloom!” She yells at a poor soul.

No longer interested in dancing, Luz begins to wander around, exploring the different rooms. The Blight Manor is a labyrinth of rooms and Luz finds herself going around in circles (and unfortunately re-entering rooms with equally unhappy couples), lost in between the crowd. She ends up back in the kitchen at some point, so she grabs a beer bottle on the way out and languidly drinks from it – hating the taste of it on her tongue but enjoying the slight buzz in her brain.

She’s a vagrant amongst the crowd, but she finally finds footing when she hears Gus’s baritone voice coming out of a nearby room. Most people would sing their hearts out off key when it comes to karaoke, but ever the dramatic thespian, Gus sings out a full performance, each note perfectly hit and performed. Luz follows that voice to a room on the side of the manor; there are no windows in this room, everything completely blacked out apart from the large screen at the front. Blue light from the screen illuminates the rows of red cushioned seats, the aesthetic of the room leads Luz to believe that it’s a cinema room – which isn’t a surprise considering the amount of wealth the Blights possess. Connected to the screen are two wired microphones, one is held by an awkward teenager that Luz had seen in passing once or twice in the school hallways, he is shaking with fear his grip on the microphone tight enough to break it. The other microphone is held by Gus, his hands tightly clutching on with confidence and vigour, each note sung with much gusto.

Luz smiles to herself and her eyes flitter to the corner of the room where she sees Willow, her arm prepped against the plush armrest as she arm-wrestles a guy Luz recognises from the varsity team. Sweat beads down his face as he struggles against Willow’s fist, while she casually yawns before slamming his arm down. She lets out a victorious whoop and her eyes brighten when she sees Luz.

“Hey Luz! Nice to see you again!” She yells over the karaoke machine.

Gus turns his gaze from the screen, a wide grin breaking on his face, “Hey Luz!” he yells excitedly into the mic. Everyone in the room grimace at the feedback, some covering their ears with their hands. “Sorry.” He whispers sheepishly.

He tosses the mic to the awkward teenager who quickly fumbles to catch it, leaving the poor boy to sing the high note all by himself. Gus slings himself over the row of seats and comfortably sits himself next to Willow, where the unfortunate varsity member had previously been sat. Luz slouches into the seat in row in front of them and slumps her chin on the backrest.

They talk for a bit, catching up on what they’ve done in the past hours. Gus had been singing the entire time, only taking a break to drink water. Some were intimidated by his skill and watched from the side-lines, others joined in, taking in his glee. On the other hand, Willow had been challenging members of the varsity team to arm-wrestling matches, betting on limited edition Pokémon foils – (apparently jocks really like Pokémon, which is news to Luz). She has until this point of the night, garnered impressive card collection.

After a while Gus returns back to karaoke, insisting that he’ll be fine on his own because ‘his song’ is on. Willow and Luz give each other a questioning look before shrugging, leaving the room arm in arm.

♡︎

They head up upstairs, deciding to venture there since neither of them have explored what’s up there yet. They push through the various doors, quickly shutting them whenever they see that they’re occupied by lustful couples, giggling to one another afterwards. Music from downstairs pulses through the wooden floors, and Willow and Luz find themselves dancing down the hallway to muffled music, spinning, and messily pirouetting until their feet ache.

At the end of the hallway, they stumble into a large room with pink walls. Dozens of eyes blink at them, indicating that they have interrupted something. At the top of the circle of people, sits an all too familiar head of strawberry blonde, a wicked smile beginning to grow on her face.

“You’re just in time.” Boscha says.

Luz eyes the people in front of her, they’re all people she’s seen here and there around the school, but the most notable faces are, Skara, Cat, Bo, Amelia… and more importantly: Amity.

Luz raises an eyebrow, “Just in time for what exactly?”

“We were just going to start a game of truth or dare.”

She stands there, her eyes flickering between Willow and the circle, contemplating her decision.

“You should join us.” Amity chimes in.

And just like that, her resolve is broken.

“A couple of rounds can’t hurt.” She says to Willow.

Willow shrugs and begins to sit herself down on the floor, Luz following in suit, whilst the guests closest to the door awkwardly shuffle to make room for them. Luz starts to look around the room; from the corkboard covered in tiny notes and assignments to the desk filled to the brim with academic books (an Azura volume peeking out beneath the pile), Luz quickly deducts that they’re in Amity’s room.

Suddenly everything feels a little more intimate.

Once they’re all settled down, Boscha straightens her shoulders and clears her throat. “Okay now, everyone put your hand in the middle.”

All start to put their hands in the middle, even Amity, who rolls her eyes before doing so.

“What the fuck is this? Some kind of cult shit?”

Boscha sighs, “No. It’s a truce, once you’re in the game  you’re in the game and you have to play no matter what. Only rule is, if you refuse to play after you’re in, you have to drink from whatever I put in this,” she pulls out a comically large jumbo cup, giving it a quick swirl before placing it on the floor next to her. “You can opt out now, but now is your last chance.”

Willow turns to her and gives her a  competitive smile, “I’m in if you’re in.”

Luz matches her energy, “Aight, bet.”

They both place their hands in the middle of the circle, the group of teens all muttering a quick “Truce” before retracting their hands and starting the game.

♡︎

“Okay, Skara, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

Almost a half hour later, they’re still playing the game, all slightly shuffled from their original positions. Willow is slumped against Luz’s shoulder, admittedly a little drunk after drinking ‘Boscha’s mega cocktail’ when she refused to answer a particularly risqué truth. All are a little cautious, not wanting to drink from whatever monstrous concoction Boscha has conjured.

“Booo! Lame!” Boscha complains, but she gives a question nonetheless. “Who is the best person you ever kissed?”

“Easy.” Skara says matter of factly, “Abbey Seabrook, ninth grade band camp.”

“The trumpet player?” Cat pipes in curiously.

“You know what they say about trumpet players and their lips!” Bo waggles her eyebrows at Skara.

Skara blushes furiously, “Bo!” she grabs a pillow from Amity’s bed and throws it at her, it landing squarely on her face with a muffled thump.

Bo giggles and clutches the pillow close to her chest, “You’re not denying it!”

Bo and Skara bicker with one another as Willow drunkenly laughs at the antics. She further slumps onto Luz until she rests her head on her lap, soft snores beginning to emanate from her pink lips.

“Alright enough. We’re moving on.” Boscha says, eyeing the circle, “Now who’s next? Uhmmm… Amity! Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“You guys are all boring! Every single one of you!” Boscha’s eyes land on Luz, boring into her soul. Luz doesn’t know why she’s staring at her, but it radiates something absolutely evil. “But fine – Amity, out of everyone here in this circle, who do you want to kiss?”

Amity instantly goes red, “Dare.” She blurts out.

“That’s against the rules Blight.”

“I don’t care,” she says, “I’m the host and I said dare, so just give me a dare.”

Boscha rolls her eyes, and Luz doesn’t know how but an even more mischievous and evil smile replaces her previous one. “Whatever you say Blight. I dare you to-“ Boscha elongates every syllable, painfully dragging out the suspense of her dare. Her piercing blue eyes land on her again. “I dare you to do seven minutes of heaven with Luz.”

Luz’s heart thrums in her chest.

“What?” Amity shrieks, her entire body a stunning shade of crimson. “That’s not even the game we’re playing!”

“Yeah Boscha, what are you playing at?” she manages to say through her blush, though she doubts it’s subtle.

“Tough. The rules are I give you a truth or dare, and you do it, if you don’t,” Boscha raises the cup again, shaking slightly the drink that had knocked Willow out cold, “you drink from this.”

Luz and Amity shallowly gulp, they look at one another with shining eyes, both anxious to find out what Boscha has mixed in the drink.

Surprisingly it is Amity who speaks up first, “Fine.” She slowly pushes herself up, “Luz?”

Luz nods dumbly, “Uh – huh, okay.”

She gently migrates Willow’s head onto Amelia’s lap as she is sitting next to her. She gives Willow a comforting pat on the shoulder before following Amity into her closet.

♡︎

It’s a big closet, and Luz thinks that she should’ve expected that considering the amount of money the Blights own. Hundreds of shirts and dresses are hung on the walls, shoes perfectly pushed against the shelves. It is still mainly dark, dimly lit by wall lights. It would be a rather romantic setting, were it under other circumstances.

Amity awkwardly shuffles next to her, not knowing what to do with her hands.

Luz is nervous herself, Amity is a good friend of hers, and she’s way too cool to be stuck in a closet with her. Amity looks pretty under this light, her soft curls illuminated and her eyes like burning gold. Luz’s heart begins to beat erratically again, and she begs whatever divine deity out for Amity not to hear it.

“We don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.” Luz says softly, she means every word of it but a small part of her is disappointed that she’s giving up this opportunity. “I know you don’t want to find out what Boscha did to that drink, and neither do I, but we don’t actually have to do anything, we can just lie.”

Amity sighs and flattens her hair behind her ears, “It’s not like it’s something I don’t want to do…” she admits.

“What do you mean?”

“Kissing you…” she elaborates.

Butterflies flurry in her stomach. “I didn’t know you liked girls?!”

Amity giggles, “I’m literally dressed as a lesbian vampire.”

“Okay that one is on me, I skipped Carmilla in class.” She says sheepishly, “But that’s only because they were running a marathon on the Azura series that week!”

“Fair enough.” Amity smiles.

The realisation of what Amity said hits Luz like a truck, and a bright blush flush her cheeks. She twirls a strand of her hair around her finger, suddenly becoming shy.

“So…”

“So…” Amity parrots.

There’s this feeling that courses through her veins, deeper than the blood within them. It’s ineffable. It’s a vivid feeling that ricochets in her skin and echoes in her mind. She can’t completely describe it, nor does she want to. The only pressing thought on the forefront of her mind is Amity, and the way she is looking at her in that moment.

“Were you serious when you said that?”

“Said what?”

“That you wanted to kiss me.”

Luz brings up a hand to cup Amity’s face, her thumbs rubbing small circles into her soft skin. Amity melts into her touch, revelling in calloused fingers.

“Yes.” She says, her voice barely above a whisper. She leans forward, capturing the warmth of Luz’s body against her own.

Luz’s heart beats in her ears, an overwhelming roar that pushes her to breathe out the next couple of words. “Can I – Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” Amity breathes out.

Something unravels in that moment, like a loose thread coming undone. Luz tentatively presses her lips against Amity’s. The first kiss is pure and chaste, almost like a question, asking for an opening. The second kiss is more confident, their lips becoming known to one another, though still exploring. The third kiss is absolute bliss. Luz pulls Amity closer to her body, kissing Amity at a pace that is unique to them.

Luz starts to understand the addicts in that moment. Completely intoxicated by her skin and her lips, lost in her everything. She decides in that moment that she is absolutely addicted to Amity Blight.  

This addiction comes naturally to her like the tide being pulled by the moon. It is strong, it is powerful, it overcomes her – tearing her down and rebuilding her all over again in just mere seconds.

Luz feels herself being gently pushed back until her shoulders hit the floor, Amity flushed against her, still kissing her. She massages her fingers in between Amity’s long brown curls, kissing her as if it is as essential as breathing. Luz feels like she can drown in these kisses, die in the arms that hold her – she finds that she simply doesn’t care if she does.

Just when she is about to deepen the kiss, the closet door opens, bright light from Amity’s bedroom streaming in. Luz squints to look at the intruder, a curt groan escaping her lips when she sees who it is.

“Seven minutes is up lovebirds,” Boscha says smugly with a wicked smirk on her lips, “actually it’s been up, like 10 minutes ago.”

Amity awkwardly pushes herself off of Luz, her face red and flustered. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, more than okay. Great actually.” She assures, her words rolling over each other.

Amity offers her hand and pulls Luz up. She smiles, “Shall we re-join society?” she says in an overly haughty voice, using a humorous tone to dispel the awkwardness.

Luz laughs, “We shall.”

♡︎

Later in the night, Luz walks along the empty streets, a slight skip in her steps. A wide smile caresses her face, it is uncontrollable and lovesick.

She can’t contain the way her heart beats in her chest, it beats so wildly she feels like it will soar out her mouth. Joy pinpricks every single crevasse of her skin.

Amity Blight kissed her.

She kissed Amity Blight.

The most beautiful, wonderful girl she has ever met.

In lovestruck thoughts she starts to realise that she has an absolutely undeniable crush on Amity Blight.

Chapter Text

There’s nothing Luz hates more than quiet offices and expecting stares.

But like most things in her life, she finds herself in unwanted situations.

Her leg rapidly bounces against the floor, her fingers drumming against the wooden surface of the desk. The woman in front of her flickers through the thick file, thumbing each page, a deep frown on her lips as she takes in a shallow sigh. She tucks back a long raven lock behind her ear, the dark colour contrasting her pale skin. Placing the file down on the desk with a heavy thud, her eyes begin to search Luz, looking for something Luz can’t quite place her finger on. She expects some kind of scrutiny within the gaze but finds none, instead there’s this odd softness behind her green eyes.

Luz fiddles with her fingers, trying to avoid her gaze.

She clears her throat, “Miss Noceda, there is no reason to be nervous, I am only calling for this meeting to assist you, just like I have with all the previous students. This meeting is to assist you in choosing your route for the future, whether or not you want to continue with further education or enter the workforce. You are nearly eighteen, so these matters are pressing.”

Luz gulps, a heavy pit forming in her throat. “Lilith – “

“That’s Ms Clawthorne to you within the school premises.” Lilith interrupts.

Luz fights the urge to roll her eyes, “Ms Clawthorne, I don’t see why I have to make these decisions now. I won’t be eighteen for another few months and I won’t be graduating until next year.”

“Yes that might be so, but the deadline for university applications is soon. Early submissions have already passed, and you still haven’t started a draft on your application, much less have you decided on what you’re going to do when you graduate.”

Her drumming fingers cease, nails now beginning to embed themselves into her palms until red crescents start to form. “What if I don’t know what I want to do?”

“Then a decision must be made soon.” Lilith picks up the file once again, flicking through the pages, stopping when she lands on a particular section. “By looking at your grades and recent extra curriculars, I can help you come up with some kind of plan. It is my job as your guidance councillor to help you in these kinds of decisions.”

Luz looks away, deciding to focus on the clock on the wall, watching the hands methodically tick the seconds down. She then looks back down to her hands, noticing how sweaty they’ve become. Lilith is still looking at her, waiting for her to say something – but she just can’t find the words to say. Instead, she just avoids her gaze, feeling the weight of it on her back, pushing her down like a cinderblock.

It makes her anxious.

And she doesn’t know how to handle it.

She bites her lip, worrying the skin between her teeth.

“Miss Noceda.” Lilith tries to no avail. She tries again, “Luz.”

Luz looks up, her eyes – glassy.

Lilith softens, a sympathetic smile on her lips, “You’re a bright student, a good kid, and if you – “

The words echo in her mind like a mantra, ‘good kid’, that’s what her mami always says about her. What she said about her that night when she cried to an anonymous caller on the other end the line, tears lost on broken hopes. She doesn’t know what she wants in the future, she hasn’t known what she wants ever since…

Ever since…

Luz pushes that thought into her deep subconscious, and instead intense resentment replaces it.

This resentment…

It builds something inside her chest, something heavy, something ugly.

“If I what?” Luz snaps, “if I put a little more effort, if I applied myself, I’ll finally amount to something and know what I want in the future?”

“No – “

Luz shoots up from the chair, causing it to fall back and rattle on the floor.

“Then what? All this planning, this idea of the future, it’s bullshit. It’s all bullshit.” She feels hot, unwanted tears begin to well up in her eyes, but she blinks them away, refusing to wipe them with the hem of her sleeve. “Do you think everything goes to plan? Fuck no. Nobody knows what’s going to happen in the future, I don’t even know who I am, so the past is fully fucked too. So, tell me how, how can you possibly help me decide what I want – huh?”

“Luz, please, take a seat and calm down.” She tries to rationalise, but Luz ignores it.

“No. I’m done. I don’t know what I want, there’s your fucking answer, happy?”

Luz picks up her bag from the floor and abruptly leaves the room, slamming the door behind her.

Her vision is completely blurred with red, energy thrums within her veins, her movements more vigorous than usual. So much so that she doesn’t realise when she bumps into someone the moment she steps out the office. Papers fly everywhere in a frantic flurry, the incomer’s books falling onto the floor.

 All the anger she had been feeling dissipates, turning into apologetic ramblings as she crouches down to recollect the fallen items.

Unfortunately for her, the newcomer also decides to reach down and when they both rise up, their heads bump against each other.

“Ow.” Luz says dully, rubbing her forehead.

The newcomer also rubs their forehead, pushing their bangs up. Suddenly Luz’s cheeks flush red, and her body becomes her personal inferno. “Amity.” Luz breathes out.

Amity scrunches her nose, and smiles when her eyes meet Luz’s, “Hey Luz.”

“Well, this is cliché,” Luz laughs, awkwardly handing the books over to Amity. “Cute girl drops her books in the middle of the hallway. Major fanfiction trope.”

“Mhm.” Amity replies timidly, her cheeks equally a bright shade of red, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

Luz’s eyes follow the movement, her heart throbbing in her throat. “I like your new hair,” she manages out, “it’s like cotton candy.”

Luz mentally slaps herself, knowing that was quite possibly the dumbest thing she could’ve said.

All those negative thoughts disappear when she hears Amity laugh.

Her heart palpitates uncontrollably in her chest.

She’s not sure how she’s going to deal with this crush considering the fact that it might just kill her.

Amity’s face is delicately framed by her newly cut hair, what was once waist length brown hair, is now a light hue of pink toned lavender trimmed just slightly below her shoulders. A stray strand of hair flows down the side of her face; Luz pushes down the urge to tuck it behind her ear and instead folds her arms to stop herself from doing so.

The hallway lights are ugly, an unbearable fluorescent white, but despite this, Amity shines like the evening stars – a goddess amongst mortals.

“Thanks.” Amity says, her cheeks a beautiful shade of pink, “My mother hates it. If I’m being entirely truthful, I did it to spite her, a little rebellion if you will. But I like the colour and I’ve been wanting to dye my hair for a while.”

“I’m starting to think that your mom has no taste whatsoever ‘cause you look amazing.”

The blush on Amity’s face brightens, spreading all the way down to her shoulders. She reaches out for Luz’s hand and interlaces her fingers with her own, giving it a quick but comforting squeeze. “You always know the right things to say.” She says.

Before Amity can say anything else, the bell rings, indicating the start of their next class. Amity looks up at the clock above the lockers and gives Luz an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I got to go to class.”

“Right. I should start heading to mine too.”

“Well, I’ll see you later at work?” Amity asks hopefully.

“Yeah I’ll you then.” Luz smiles.

“Cool.” Amity elevates herself on her tip-toes and quickly presses her lips against Luz’s cheek in a chaste kiss. “Bye Luz.”

Luz’s hand slowly comes up to her cheek as she watches Amity walk away, the warmth of her lips still present on her skin.

Amity kissed her so casually in the middle of the hallway, somewhere so public, where everyone can see. She doubts that it is anything more than a platonic gesture, the French always greet one another with a cheek kiss, so it might just be a European thing. She doesn’t even know if Amity is European, but that possibility feels more viable and realistic than the idea of Amity Blight liking her back.

No, Amity could never like a girl like her.

Not in a million lifetimes.

Luz shrugs away the thought, preparing herself to head to class. But just when she is going to make her way there, her phone buzzes. She takes her phone out of her pocket and looks at the incoming text.

Eda:

- Meet me outside

- We’re going for a ride

♡︎

It’s not a regular occurrence but Luz does find herself ditching school every now and then. It’s a bad habit and she knows that, but school can be stressful at times and any other option is way more interesting. That being said, the most common option, or really the option she mainly chooses is ditching class.

She pushes past the school entrance, avoiding the cameras as she passes by the courtyard. A smile begins to grow on her face when she sees the all too iconic mane of grey parked outside on the road. Her black Harley Davidson shines under the afternoon sun, the metal glistening as if it is brand new. There are little things Eda cherishes and takes care of, and her motorbike is one of those things. She hasn’t even let Luz breathe around it, much less touch it if she’s not around.

So when Eda gives Luz her signature mischievous grin, tossing Luz a helmet, she is thrilled to say the least. Eda mounts her motorbike, Luz following in stride. She tightens her arms around Eda’s waist as she revs the gears, the strap of the helmet itchy against her skin.

The wind whips past them, blowing Eda’s hair in her face. She ignores it though, the adrenaline of their speed overtaking her senses. The only times she has gone this fast is on the countless rollercoasters she has ridden in her past years, there however is something different. It’s a different feeling all together, she isn’t bound by a seat bar and their course isn’t limited to the tracks built by another person, this, this is more freeing – a liberating experience.

Luz watches the familiar buildings of the small town they live in blur as they speed by, a cacophony of colours that have no shape or form. She revels in the crisp breeze, feeling an uncontrollable smile break on her face. Trees come into view, and she starts to realise that they’re driving out of town and into the outskirts.

Eda slows the bike to a halt, stationing it next to a couple of trees. She strips off her helmet, hanging it on the handle bar. Luz watches her take out a satchel from the back compartment, slouching on a nearby picnic table. Luz begins to follow her, only stopping when Eda throws something in her direction. She fumbles to catch it, only just firming her grip on it before it lands on the floor. Her eyes travel downwards, scanning the item between her fingers.

A sandwich.

Luz looks up at Eda, confused.

“I know you had your meeting with Lily during lunch. Eat before your stomach explodes.” Eda clarifies nonchalantly, unwrapping her own sandwich before taking a large bite.

She gingerly unravels the saranwrap, revealing wholemeal bread with the crust cut off, a combination of peanut butter, bananas and bacon filling the inside. Luz eagerly takes a bite before smiling up at Eda, “How did you know this is my favourite.” She asks between mouthfuls.

Eda winks, “A little birdie told me Kid.”

Luz smiles, continuing to eat her sandwich until all she’s left with is crumbs. After finishing, she licks the remaining peanut butter off her fingers, eyeing Eda curiously.

“So I heard you had a little problem with Lily earlier… said that you blew up… what was that about?” Eda says finally after a while of silence.

Luz knew that the question was coming, she felt it ever since she got the text. It twists a knot in her insides.

“So you heard…” Luz says awkwardly.

“Lily texted me about it the moment you stormed out. She’s worried about you. I’m also worried about you but that’s besides the point.”

“Well I’m fine,” Luz groans, rolling her eyes, “I don’t need you to worry about me and Lilith didn’t need to blab.”

Eda raises a weary eyebrow, “Careful there kid, that’s still my sister we’re talking about.”

Luz crosses her arms with a huff, “Yeah well, there’s nothing to talk about.”

Eda sighs, her eyes soft and sympathetic, despite the fact that her sister’s eyes are green and hers are gold, they still have that same look in their eyes. “Don’t do that Luz.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Bottle everything up.” She says simply.

“I’m not bottling everything up.” Luz retorts.

“You are. You can’t lie to me I’m not your mom.” Eda snorts, a small smile on her lips, “Now seriously, what’s going on.”

“It’s too much… everyone expects me to know what I want, but I don’t. And things… things change so quickly, one day I’m learning how to ride a bike and the next thing I know I’m graduating and going to college. And my mom…” Luz bites the inside of her cheek, her teeth sinking into the sink until she tastes a drop of blood, metallic on her tongue. “Oh my God, my mom, she’s off on this idea that I’m going university, like dead set on it, but I’m not even sure I even want that… But she’s expecting that, already has it planned, but I - It’s a lot, and I hate not knowing what’s coming next, because things can happen so suddenly. And I can’t keep up, it’s like I’m stuck.”

“We all get stuck sometimes kid, but we just got to move forward even when we don’t know how.”

“I guess.” Luz rubs the back of her head; she wants to take Eda’s advice to heart but she can’t find herself honestly doing that.

“Come on chin up and smile.”

Half-heartedly, a small smile tugs on her lips – its weak and ghostly but it’s still there.

“There’s the Luz I know.” Eda lightly punches Luz’s shoulder,“ I know everything is a little stressful now, but you got to remember that you’re just a kid, you don’t need to worry about everything yet. Just take it one day at a time. Step by step. And one more thing, I need you to take it easy on Cam, she’s trying her best.”

She playfully pokes Luz’s ribs, making her laugh.

“Okay, okay.” Luz surrenders, a genuine smile on her face. She knows Eda is right. She knows her mom is trying her best, but its still hard to fully admit.

Eda stops her tickling assault, and straightens her shoulders, “Let’s get you home kid.”

Chapter Text

Loud chattering fills the room, laughter echoing off the walls. Kids chase each other, hiding under tables, their innocent giggles – light and high pitched. Colourful streamers hang from the wall, a waterfall of colour on display. An array of different food is meticulously laid on the long table, greedy hands reaching out for the assortment of finger food.  

Luz watches her relatives talk with one another from the wooden chair she’s sat on, mildly disassociating as noise overwhelms her senses. She looks down at the cake in her hand, peeling the first layer of the milhoja with the end of her fork. Slowly, she brings the fork to her mouth, sucking on the dulce de leche.

It’s her grandmother’s 80^th birthday.

Abuelita Silva, is her father’s mother, she lives in Oregon, so she rarely visits her ever since their move into Gravesfield. She’s a kind woman from what Luz remembers of her, with permanent crows feet around her eyes from her constant smiles. Luz remembers her strong hands and how they kneaded the dough for the empanadas, the many lines in her palms, telling many stories.

A party hat sits lazily on her head, the string pressing again her chin – (she assumes that it runs a little short on her due to it being kid sized).

Her brown eyes slowly blink as her aunties gossip mindlessly around her, she mainly tunes them out but it becomes harder the more they try to include her in the conversation.

“Ay que estas buen guapa Lucecita. Has crecido tanto de a ultimo ves que te vi.” Her Auntie Lupe says poking her cheeks. Her round face accents the mole on her upper lip, bright rouge blush on her cheeks.

“Tan alta! Puede ser modelo!” another aunt coos, pinching her cheek.

Luz yelps as an older aunt jabs her side, “Ay no! Es muy flaca!” she exclaims laughing.

“Flaquita tienes novio? Una niña linda como tu tienes que tener un novio.” Aunt Lupe asks.

“No Tia, I’m not seeing anyone,” Luz says, a curt groan threatening to leave her lips in embarrassment, “I don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Remember I’m Bi.”

Aunt Lupe dismisses her with a wavering hand, “Si, si, me acuerdo. Disculpame. “

“Solamente es una etapa.” From the corner of the room, sat on an old reclining chair, sits her Tio Alejandro, a permanent frown etched on his lips, hidden beneath a thick moustache. He’s a rugged man, his moments within the room spent mainly in silence in his own personal solitude. Luz doesn’t speak to him much, but from what she knows, he is rather traditional in his thoughts, acutely conservative.  “Va a pasar.” He mutters, it is lost on others’ ears but Luz still catches it.

“Como van tus estudios? Tu mami me dice que vas a ir a Universidad.” Aunt Lupe squeals excitedly, her hands gripping Luz’s wrists, “Piensalo, la primera Noceda para ir!”

Ever since her grandparents from her father’s side settled down in Oregon many decades ago, political instability in the Dominican Republic making it much harder to live, they have come to seek for a better life, better opportunities. But as life has it, even life in the states was difficult, and unfortunately none of the Noceda line have gone to university or had the opportunity to.

All Luz sees when she looks into her Aunt Lupe’s eyes is hope, a hope that she doesn’t feel like she can fully fulfil.

“Si… la primera Noceda…” she says slowly, a knot forming in her intestines making her feel dizzy.  Luz pushes herself up from her seat, the air in the room becoming thinner. “Permiso.” She excuses herself from the room, avoiding the worried looks of relatives as she hurries past them.

She pushes past her mother and all the older ladies in the kitchen, all gossiping and laughing with one another as they prepare more food. Wooden spoons wave in the air accompanying liberal smiles, it all clouds in her brain as she feels her chest restrict. Luz opens the door leading into the garden, shutting it close behind her.

Slumping against the wall, her breaths begin to steady. Usually she is able to handle all the questions, but lately she has been more on edge, everything becoming much more real to her, date approaching faster than she wants them to.

So lost in her thoughts, she doesn’t realise the door open and close next to her, a new body leaning against the wall next to her.

“Getting away from the crowd?” a raspy voice says to her.

Luz turns her head, a smile beginning to crawl on her face.

Her eyes brighten and uncontrollable squeal of glee escapes her lips, “Vee!”

Same brown skin, and dyed blonde hair dipped blue at the ends, Luz’s cousin Javiera (Vee for short- when Luz was a child she had difficulty saying ‘Javi’ and settled on the nickname ‘Vee’, to say it stuck is an understatement) always seems to cheer her up.

“Hey primi, how’s it going?” she grins, smile lines accenting her brown eyes, the birthmarks within them shining in the dusk light. Luz has always thought that her eyes are the most interesting eyes she has ever seen; within the sea of warm honey are pools of deep black that spill past the iris like a galaxy overflowing.

Luz curtly laughs, short and sarcastic, “Honestly or the polite answer?”

“Honestly.”

“Shit.”

Vee shrugs nonchalantly, “Can’t expect everything to be sunshine and rainbows.”

“No kidding.” Luz smiles, rolling her eyes, “How are you? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.”

“Nothing much, studying for my SATs, got a new partner, got a new go to boba flavour, I changed from apple jelly to lychee jelly, total life changer – “

Luz’s eyes widen, “Wait, hold on, what did you say?”

Vee quirks an eyebrow, confused, “I changed my boba order?”

Luz firmly grabs Vee’s shoulders and lightly shakes her, “No! You got a new partner? Who are they?” 

Vee laughs, “Yeah, their name is Masha, they’re super pretty, and I met them at camp last year. We were the camp councillors to cabin 7.”

“That’s amazing, tell me more!” Luz yells, absolutely thrilled, “Who fell first? Who confessed to who? Oh my God, how was your first date?”

“Ay Dios, you’re even worse than the Tias when it comes to chisme! Already building up to auntie status!” Vee tuts, shaking her head, but she is unable to hide the unmistakable smile that graces her face, “They fell first, I confessed, and our first date was a picnic under the stars!”

“Que romantico!” Luz coos, her hands squishing her own cheeks as she swoons, “It’s just like all the romance novels!”

“Not everything can be a fantasy, but with Masha it sure does feel like it.” Vee sighs, her eyes looking upwards, almost lost in a daydream. She waves a dismissive hand, her gaze trained on Luz, “Now enough about me, what’s going on in your life… any romances?”

Luz thinks back to the past week, her cheeks becoming red as she thinks about Amity’s soft lips on hers during the Halloween party, the way her body pressed against hers, hands clutching her blazer. She then thinks back to the school hallway when she kissed her cheek, warmth spreading all the way to her toes just thinking about it. At work afterwards things were timid, awkward, shy, almost as if they were meeting again, new to one another as strangers. Amity didn’t mention anything about the kiss, so Luz assumes that it was as casual and platonic as she theorised. A bitter taste spreads on her tongue and an equally bitter thought plagues her mind, it’s the same thought that has reoccurred ever since the kiss, an ugly, ugly, thought – Amity would never date her.

“No. It’s the same old, same old.” Luz sighs out, trying to obscure any negative feelings from Vee.

“Lame.” She whines, though she doesn’t linger on the topic. Vee points her thumb as the door, “You ready to deal it out with the Viejas and their chisme?”

“Don’t remind me.” Luz groans, her body instantly starting to recoil from the idea of the hellfire that is her aunties and their constant gossip.

“Well –“ Vee says, slowly revealing two shot glasses with a warm golden liquid inside them. “I may have something to help with that.”

Luz’s eyes widen, “Vee! Where did you get this?” she exclaims, staring at the rum.

“I took it when the Tias weren’t looking.” Vee exclaims, a mischievous smile on her lips, “So, are you going to take it with me or are you just going to stand there like a fish?”

“Give me that.” Luz snatches a glass and raises it to the air. “Salud.”

“Salud.”

The glasses briefly clink together, the delicate connection of the glass wavering in the air.

Luz winces as the golden liquid flows down her throat, the slight burn settling in her belly.

 “Lista?” Vee asks.

“Lista.” Luz confirms.

♡︎

Nothing much has changed since her departure, the ladies of the room are still chatting with one another, except now their plates are filled with food, and more of her relatives have gathered in the living room, most coming from the kitchen.

Luz spots her grandmother sat on the sofa, sinking into the plush cushion; she smiles and makes her way towards her. She sits down on the armrest and leans down to hug her grandmother.

“Feliz cumpleaños Abuelita. Que lo difrutas.” She says, kissing her forehead. Abuelita Silva smiles, wise eyes creasing into crescent moons.

“Gracias amor. Que estas grande. Me acuerdo cuando eras chica, puedias caber en solamente mi mano.” she declares, her voice worn out from years of telling stories and singing lullabies. Her hand comes up to gently caress Luz’s cheek, her eyes staring intently at Luz. “Te ves tanto como tu Papi. Manuel siempre era mi favorito. Mi chiquitito, tan bellisimo. Eres igual como el. El va estar tan orgulloso de ti si estaba aqui.”

It hurts. She will never admit it, but it does. Luz knows she looks like her father; she is reminded of it every time she looks in the mirror. It’s a painful contradiction, she likes to be reminded that she once belonged to him, was once a part of him, but at the same time it’s a face she can only find in reflections and photographs, not a face she can touch and hold.

She swallows hard, her tongue heavy in her mouth. She pushes it all down and smiles, “Gracias Abuelita.”

All the noise in the room begins to fade in and out, almost as if she’s repeatedly plugging and unplugging her ears just like when she was a child. All the voices seem to blur and merge, her focus jumping from conversation to conversation. It eventually stops when she zeroes in on the conversation that her Tia Lupe is having.

“Y la dije que no puedes salir con el, esta casado!” Her boisterous laugh echoes in the room, her hands clasping firmly on her knees. She turns her head slightly and catches Luz’s gaze. “Luz! Volviste, en que estamos cuando fuiste?”

“La Luz nos esta dicendo de el Universidad no?” her Tia Paula says, already intrigued by the premise.

“Ah si!” Tia Lupe raises her hands, “Como te sientes de todo eso?”

“Tia, I don’t really want to talk about that now.” Luz says, the energy seeping out of her body already. The buzz from the rum had faded, the gossip no longer bearable.

“Deja hablar de todo eso,” Tio Alejandro exasperates, his low voice rumbling deeply. “No es para nosotros.”

“Y porque no?” Tia Lupe cocks an eyebrow, almost as if she’s challenging the older man.

“Dejalo para los gringos.” He waves off grumpily.

“No soy gringa.” Luz interjects quickly but it comes off quieter than she expected – meeker.

Tio Alejandro huffs, hand slapping his knee, “Ha! A que no. No eres Latina, eso es cierto.”

“Si soy Latina.” Luz says, a little louder this time.

“Y yo soy la reina de Inglaterra.” He mocks, a haughty laugh on his tongue, “Digame Luz, donde naciste?”

“Aqui, en Los Estados Unidos.”

“Y has hido a el pais?”

“No.” Luz mutters quietly, ashamed.

“Entonces, no eres Latina.” He deducts proudly, a smug grin on his lips,  “Eres gringa, con ideales gringa, todo eso de haciendo bisexual, son cosas de aqui.”

“Me being bisexual has nothing to do with me being Latina.” Luz retorts, anger beginning to boil inside of her. Instead of blowing up, she bites her tongue, letting the rage simmer beneath her skin.

“Y porque me hablas en ingles?” he raises an eyebrow and that quietens Luz. She doesn’t know how to respond. “Eres gringa. Asi es.”

♡︎

Camila idly chats as she drives their SUV back to Connecticut. She, unlike Luz, has left the party with a more positive attitude, enriched by the social aspect of mingling with the older crowd.

“And I told your Tia Cecil that she can’t have my maduros recipe. And Luz, I’ll tell you, if looks could kill, your poor mama would be en el Cielito.” Camila turns her head and catches the frown on Luz’s face. Her expression shifts to concern, eyebrows knitted together, “Que paso cariño?”

“Do you think I’m Latina enough?”

Camila’s grip tightens on the steering wheel, “I mean sure, but what does that even mean in the first place?”

Luz is nervous to speak but the thought lingers and pesters. “Like if I went to the Dominican Republic do you think I can pass?” she asks.

“No.” Camila says simply, her head turning side to side looking for incoming cars.

“Mama!” Luz exclaims.

“Que? I don’t know what you want me to tell you. Your Spanish is a little off, and they’ll catch onto that.”

“What?!” she shrieks, embarrassment tinging her cheeks.

“Don’t worry, its still good, its not as bad as Hunter’s” Camila laughs, most likely remembering the times Hunter tried to speak Spanish to her. She shakes the memory out of her head, smile still plastered on her lips, “but you just get lazy with some of the pronunciations and your accent slips, but that’s okay, there are many Latino kids who don’t speak Spanish…”

“Yeah well I didn’t think that I’m one of them.” Luz grumbles.

“You’re not amor, your papi and I made sure of that.” She reassures, “But still, I don’t see why you want to pass. Do you want to go there to live?”

“No.”

“Entonces porque?”

Luz crosses her arms in a huff, gazing out the windows, watching the trees and scenery blur into a mess of green, “I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to feel connected somehow.” She bites her lip, “I guess I thought it would make me feel more Latina.”

“You keep saying that, ‘more Latina’, what does that even mean?”

“You know, Latina.”

“Luz,” Camila sighs, as if she was expecting this conversation to pop up one day, “Latinos come in all shapes and sizes, and even colours! But all of that doesn’t make anybody ‘less Latino’. Ay por Dios, not even every Latino speaks Spanish, I mean, Brazilians speak Portuguese!” She slows down the car at a red light, taking the chance to look at Luz, her gaze instantly softening, “Luz, estrellita, you’re just as Latina as me.”

There’s a certain warmth to her words that Luz can’t deny, so she smiles, “Thanks mami.”

Camila starts the gears again and tuts, “What brought this up anyways?”

“It’s just something Tio Alejandro said.”

“Is it the university thing? It’s not a white thing to go to university Luz. Lots of Latinos go to university, I went to university. I mean that’s the whole reason why your abuelos moved here in the first place, for a better future.”

Luz fiddles with her fingers, the topic of university already pinpricking her anxiety, “Yeah, I know that you’ve told me.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

“Nada Mami.” Luz mutters, wanting to change the subject.

“Everything that your abuelos have done, that I have done, its for you to have a better life. I don’t want you to throw that away based on some silly comments made by your Tio.”

Camila doesn’t do it on purpose, but she always has a way of making her feel guilty. This, ugly, treacherous guilt. Luz can’t let her down – she loves her too much.

She has to be somebody that will make her proud.

“I won’t Mami, I won’t throw it all away.”

Chapter Text

CRASH!

Ten pins fall down, the loud blare of the congratulatory airhorn accompanies badly animated graphics in bright neon colours on the TV screen above their heads. The pins are promptly dragged by a mechanical arm, sweeping them into the pit.

Willow cheers loudly, celebrating her strike. Gus rolls his eyes, a brief huff escaping his lips. The animated dog with sunglasses dances as Willow’s score goes up by another ten points, already a perfect fifty by the fifth round.  She goes back to her seat, leaning into the hot pink faux leather as she languidly takes a sip from her soda.

They’re gathered at the local bowling alley for their bi-monthly bowling session. The neon lights glow around them, illuminating the floor in bright pinks and blue. In the distance, the sound of dozens of pins scattering to the floor fall on attentive ears, the constant bombinate of the slushie machine whirling at the counter accompanying it.

Luz smiles, cracking her knuckles as she approaches the bowling lane. She eyes the balls, deciding on which weight class would give her the advantage. After a moment of pondering, she picks up the lightest one, thumbing it slightly before lifting it. Her warm brown eyes echo a determined fire within them, eyebrows furrowed, a focused frown on her lips – she has never looked so serious.

Inhaling deeply, she brings the ball to her chin, her peripheral vision beginning to blur as all her attention is pinpointed on the lane ahead of her. In one dramatic motion, she swings her arm back, letting go of the bowling ball at the end. The bright orange ball barrels through the lane at high speeds, Luz feels excitement begin to thrum in her body as it rolls dead centre of the lane – perfect positioning for a strike. Just when it starts to approach the pins, it quickly swerves to the side, falling into the gutter.

Luz’s smile drops as the screen flashes above her indicating that she has won absolutely no points.

She stomps her foot in frustration, “This shit’s rigged!”

“Better luck next time!” Willow says smugly from her seat.

Luz sticks her tongue out at her before flipping her the bird.

“Rude!” Willow exclaims laughing.

With a pout on her face, Luz slumps next to Willow, snatching her drink and chugging it.

“I would’ve totally gotten it in if somebody didn’t say we’re not allowed barriers” Luz grumbles.

Willow rolls her eyes, “Barriers are for cheaters.”

“So how was y’all’s weekends?” Gus asks, trying to change the subject, as he inspects the array of bowling balls, just as Luz had earlier.

“Nothing exciting.” Willow shrugs, “My dads had the weekend off, so we just stayed in and watched movies. Appa ordered take out but that’s pretty much it. What about you?”

“Well,” Gus places a finger under his chin thoughtfully, “It started off normally, you know, classic Saturday morning, I’m having jam and toast with my dad, we’re talking about how the government is sending messages via birds, when suddenly we’re out of jam. Now this usually wouldn’t be a big deal ‘cause we make our own jam and we have an elderberry bush outside. So, I go outside to pick some berries, and there I see something shifting in the bushes. At first I think it’s a stray cat or even a skunk, but when I look closer, it’s too scaly to be either. And that’s where I see it, a chameleon, running free in Connecticut! I mean I never thought I would see one loose like that, their natural habitat is in African Rainforests, but they were there. I got my dad and he helped me bring them into the house, but it was a shock to say the least.”

“Oh shit, that’s so cool!” Luz exclaims excitedly, her sour mood from her loss now fully gone. “I can always ask my Mami to take a look at them if you like.”

“Oh my gosh, really? That would be amazing, thanks.”

Luz smiles, taking another swig at Willow’s drink, frowning slightly when she hears the raspy sound of empty suction at the remaining ice, the realisation that she finished the drink dawning on her. She places the empty cup on the counter and crosses her arms, sinking further into the seat.

Gus swings the ball forward, the deep blue ball landing on the lane with a hefty thud, steadily rolling down until it hits a couple of pins. He reserves his celebration as he picks up another ball, tossing it at a higher speed than before. It hurdles towards the pins, full throttle, the impact echoing in the air. The ball narrowly misses two pins, those being the two pins away from winning a spare. Gus sighs, reluctantly accepting that Willow is going to continue in her winning streak.

“So how was your weekend, Luz?” Gus asks, on his way to his seat.

Luz perks up, the weird urge to gnaw at her lips becoming more appealing as the seconds tick by. “It was okay.”

Willow raises an eyebrow, “Just okay?”

“Yeah, just okay, I went to Oregon to celebrate my abuela’s birthday, that’s pretty much it.” Luz shrugs, her body beginning to shrivel up into itself.

Willow turns to Gus, a worried look worked deep into her features, knowing eyes asking for an answer. Luz swallows the tight knot in her throat, she knows that Willow knows her better than she knows herself – in hindsight she should’ve expected that Willow would know she’s lying.

“Gus,” Willow starts, “Luz is hiding something, do you think Luz is hiding something?”

“Oh definitely.” He dramatically sighs, a mischievous grin tugging at his lips, “which means that we unfortunately have to go through protocol 205.”

Luz’s eyes widen in horror, “No guys, I swear I’m fine, we don’t need to go through protocol 205.”

“Hmmmm,” Gus hums, his gaze landing on Willow’s, “What do you think ‘Low?”

The smile that appeared on Willow’s face in that moment is absolutely wicked, and pure evil. Luz’s hands grip onto the leather seat in attempt to escape, clambering backwards into the seat. Slowly but surely, Gus and Willow approach her, hands raised in the air – ready to attack. She feels her heart beating faster the closer they get, she’s almost off the seat when she suddenly loses her balance, promptly falling onto her back.

Both of her friends pounce on her, their wiggling fingers beginning to mercilessly tickle her sides.

“What happened over the weekend?” Willow interrogates, her fingers deep in her ribs.

“Nothing!” Luz replies in between catching her breath. She realises that she responded incorrectly when they continue their assault, wandering fingers reaching her armpit making her uncontrollably squeal, discomfort settling deep into her lungs when she finds herself not being able to breathe.

“Luz stop lying and answer the question! What happened over the weekend?” Gus demands.

“Nothing, just some relatives being a dick that’s all, it’s nothing new.”

Gus gently peels himself off of Luz and begins to inspect her, a pondering finger beneath his chin. “Dr Park, I diagnose this patient with ‘asshole relative syndrome’.”

Willow also stops her assault, tender eyes looking at her up and down – thoughtful but not judging. “Ah, the common asshole relative, I’ve seen this before.”

“On the scale of 1-10, how asshole-y ?”

“Ten.”

Gus looks at Willow, “That’s maximum capacity chief. What’s your verdict?”

Willow briefly but firmly nods, “My verdict is, vent to your heart’s desires.”

The tension in Luz’s shoulders begin to raise, but the tight knot in her throat is still present. She sighs in defeat, “He said that I’m not Latina enough, and then he said some homophobic shit about me being bisexual… Like I’m Latina enough, right?”

“Yeah definitely,” Gus says proudly, he then slumps a little, almost meekly, “Though you are the only Latina I know besides Hunter and your other family members. Like there not many of you guys here.”

“I mean I can count the entire non-white kids in Gravesfield with both my hands, not including us.” Willow raises her hands to emphasise her point, “Well maybe I’m exaggerating a little but you get the idea. Small town, small minority, all that jazz. You’re Latina to me if that matters.”

“I guess…” She says, words trailing off. “I still can’t get it out of my head though. Like that’s part of my identity, I’m a bisexual Afro-Latina in Connecticut, it’s important to me to be recognised that way you know? And all of me. Ignoring the different parts, that’s like denying myself of my self.”

“I totally get that.” Willow admits, placing a comforting hand on her back, rubbing circles into the fabric, “Like I have some asshole relatives from my Korean side who think I’m not Asian enough because I’m half black. And it hurts, trust me I know how much that hurts – Your family, the people who are meant to love and protect you can be the people who are most capable of hurting you and denying you. You’re completely valid in what you feel Luz.”

“Yeah, fuck your uncle, he’s a total dick!” Gus chimes in with an affirmative nod.

“Agreed!”

She slowly feels her insides begin to unknot themselves, settling on a more complacent feeling. “Fuck him!” she smiles.

Willow pulls her into a hug, grabbing Gus by the hem of his shirt to drag him into the embrace.  One thing that she is certain about in life is that she will always have her friends, and they will always have her back – and vice versa, she will always have theirs.

Once they all pull apart, Gus clears his throat, “Now that all the bad stuff is out the window, lets get to the juicy gossip. How are your love lives?” he asks batting his lashes.

Willow reddens at this, her confidence seeping out her body turning into a shy schoolgirl meekness. “Well,” she begins, twirling a curl between her fingers, “I’ve been thinking about it lately and I think I’m going to ask Hunter out.”

“Atta girl!” Gus cheers.

Luz high fives Willow, but then her appraising smile turns into confusion as the words begin to sink in. “Wait you have a crush?!”

With an uncharacteristic shyness, Willow nods, “Mhm.”

“And it’s on Hunter?!”

“Yes-“ She says slowly.

“How have I missed this?”

“Have you been living under a rock woman!?” Gus exclaims, throwing his hands in the air, “she’s been pining for him for the past year! It’s almost as bad as your crush on Amity!”

“Hey don’t bring Amity into this!” her cheeks flush red and she begins to stutter on her words, “and who says I have a crush on Amity?”

“PUH-LEASE, that is the most obvious crush in existence!”

“Am I that bad?”

“Mhm.” Willow and Gus confirm.

Luz groans into her hands, hiding her bright red face.

“Talking about you and Amity… what’s going on in the love department?” Gus asks, waggling his eyebrows.

“Nothing is happening. We’re just friends.”

“Luz cut the bullshit, we know about your crush, stop hiding it!”

“No, it’s not that. We’re seriously just friends.”

“Didn’t you guys kiss?” Willow chimes in, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yes – wait how do you know about that? Weren’t you asleep?”

“My eyes were closed, not my ears. I heard the dare and I heard Boscha talking about catching you in the act.”

“We did kiss but it was platonic. Its just something friends do.” Luz says plainly.

“Luz. I love you, but I would never shove my tongue down your mouth.”

Luz reddens even further, her face feeling like a handful of hot coals. She trips over her words as she speaks, “There was no- we didn’t – THERE WAS NO TONGUE!”

“Details, details,” Willow dismisses her with a waving hand, “either way, that’s not something friends do. Like a kiss on the forehead or the cheek, sure, but on the lips? Hell no.”

“Yeah Luz, you’re my girl but you’re not my girl. I’m not lip locking with you even if you paid me!”

“Thanks guys.” Luz mutters sarcastically.

Willow rolls her eyes, pulling Luz in close, “All we’re saying is that its not just something friends do. There’s something there.”

“I don’t think so, Amity is just so amazing and smart. She is so talented and beautiful – she would never fall for someone like me.”

Its an idea she has unwillingly become accustomed to, with all the sun that comes along with her loving thoughts of Amity, her heart feeling full and complete, comes a flock of grey clouds to rain on her parade. Maybe those stormy days are self-inflicted, thoughts buried in pessimism, but Luz likes to think she’s being pragmatic, even if it hurts her.

“Luz you’re spiralling again.” Willow reassures. She grabs both of her hands, grounding her.  “You are also all those things and so much more. Amity would be so lucky to have a girl like you, and if she can’t see that then she honestly isn’t worth it.”

♡︎

Amity stacks another book on the shelf, carefully arranging them to maximise storage space. From the counter Luz watches her, watches her soft hands delicately restock the store-front, watches as a few lilac strands tickle her cheeks, watches her amber eyes flitter across the room, gently illuminated by the dim lights.

She finds herself doing that often when they share a shift, studying her and all her little habits. From the way her nose scrunches up when its catches some dust from the furniture to the way her fingers effortlessly glide through the objects, curiously exploring the different oddities of the store. In this time, Luz reflects on how much their relationship has changed in just a couple of months, from practically strangers to –

Luz isn’t quite sure what they are now. She thought she knew but she is starting to become unsure. It was once a simple concept, they were friends, but now, after everything, the lines are much more blurry. She starts to think back to what her friends said, on how they thought there was something there. Its an optimistic thought, and Luz selfishly clings onto that hopeful possibility like a reluctant child.

♡︎

Their shift is fairly uneventful from that moment onwards. They speak from time to time, only sharing their casual thoughts, or awkward mutterings about their current shift.

Luz pulls down the shutter, ignoring the way the metal screeches in her ear, the vibrations reverberating in her skin. Amity waits for her from the side almost expectantly. She’s quiet, her lips pressed into a tight line.

When Luz turns around, she catches the way Amity’s face instantly lights up, a bright smile tugging at her lips.

“So…” Amity starts, “I’ll see you at school?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.”

“Okay,” she tucks her hair behind her ear, revealing a dusty pink blush across her cheeks, “Bye Luz.”

Amity stretches up on her tiptoes, pressing her lips briefly on Luz’s lips. Something erupts in Luz right there in that moment, a thousand fireworks exploding in her brain. She’s brought back when Amity pulls away, Luz’s palpitating heart clasped tightly in her hands.

“Do you like me?” Luz blurts out, her face a furious shade of crimson.

“What do you mean by that?” Amity cocks her head to the side, confused.

“Do you like like me? Like more than a friend?”

“Of course I do… we’re literally dating.” Amity responds as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

A brief silence passes between them, the wind whistling past them.

Amity’s eyes widen as she suddenly realises that Luz was not aware of their situation. She stumbles backwards, her face lighting up like a bonfire as she covers her face in embarrassment.

“Oh my God. You didn’t know, and I just assumed-“ she rambles frantically, “I thought I asked you out after we kissed at my party, but I guess I forgot in the euphoria of it all and- Oh my God I’m an idiot.”

Luz looks at Amity, taking in every detail of her features, the way the blush spreads all the way to the tip of her ears, the way her eyes are squeezed shut pressing her long lashes, and the way her lip is captured between her teeth. She looks so shy, looking for some kind of answer.

In that moment Luz’s chest feels lighter. She looks at this girl, the girl who practically just confessed to her and sees nothing but joy. All this time she has been worrying over nothing.

Amity likes her back.

Suddenly everything, all her fears, seem ridiculous.

Luz laughs.

Amity opens her fingers slightly, and through the space, Luz can see her pretty amber eyes.

“If you’re going to reject me just do it already.” She says meekly, barely above a whisper.

Luz takes a step forward, closing the gap between them. She slowly raises her hands to Amity’s face, tenderly wrapping her fingers around her wrists to pry her small hands from obscuring her face. Dark brown eyes lock directly onto amber – there’s no escaping now.

“I’m not rejecting you.” Luz says gently, “I actually think its so cute how flustered you are.”

Amity looks away, her face burning red. Luz gingerly guides her face back to hers, their lips only a breath away.

“I like you too Amity.” She finally declares, a small smug grin tugging at her lips, “Though it would be nice if you asked me out first. I mean apparently we’re dating, but we haven’t even gone out on a date!”

Amity bites back a laugh, rolling her eyes. “Fine. Luz Noceda will you be my girlfriend?” she sighs out reluctantly, though there is an everlasting smile on her lips.

“Yes, definitely, absolutely.” Luz grins.

It doesn’t take her long to press her lips against Amity’s once more, warmth enveloping her entire body. Amity’s arms wrap themselves around her neck whilst Luz’s hands find their place on her waist. It’s a chaste kiss, brief compared to the one they shared in the closet, but it holds just as much bliss. This kiss, it’s so much more than a kiss, it means so much more.

It’s a comfort.

An affirmation.

That Luz Noceda is worthy of the affection she seeks.

When they pull apart, matching heartbeats that were once tucked away in their chests now on full display, Luz sees stars in her eyes, all the wonder in the world captured in her irises.

They say their goodbyes to one another, with all the tenderness their hearts can muster, the widest smiles on their faces.

On her way home, Luz’s heart uncontrollably palpitates in her chest.

She has never been happier.

Chapter Text

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Pristine white walls illuminated by cold beam lights close around her, multiple informative posters plastered on the wall. The constant hum of the machinery fills the room, the occasional beep sounds rhythmically in the gaps.

Luz stares at the diagram of human anatomy on the wall, following the pathways of the veins and muscles, focusing on the wall instead of the pain in her right arm as the doctor takes a sample of blood. In the corner, Camila is sat on an uncomfortable plastic chair, her fingers anxiously drumming on her leg. She searches Luz for a sign, some kind of form of communication from her blinking eyes.

The doctor is a kind lady, she mainly talks through the appointment, maybe to comfort her through the tedious process – Luz doesn’t really know. Nevertheless, she’s gentle with her touches, always checking up on her to make sure she’s okay.

She slightly winces when she feels the cold metal of the needle extract from her skin, miniscule droplets of blood peaking from the pinprick. The doctor presses a tissue against the bleeding, quickly replacing it with a Band-Aid.

“We’re nearly done with your tests.” The doctor says, her voice syrupy sweet, “How are you feeling so far?”

“Good.”

Luz omits the part where she still feels the ghost of the velcro wrap from the sphygmomanometer on her arm from when they took her blood pressure, a dull ache on her upper bicep.

“That’s good.” She smiles, “I’m going to send this off in the meantime, and the results will come back pronto.”

She turns to briefly exit the room, leaving Luz alone with her mother’s worried stares.

It’s no secret that Luz hates hospitals, she makes sure to vocalise her distaste every visit. She hates the distinct sombre smell of the clinical rooms and the white lights that hurt her eyes. Luz is also no stranger to hospital rooms, having visited them frequently. It makes her nervous just sitting there, anxiety tightly clinging to her throat like an acidic bile.

“Mama just because you stare doesn’t mean I’m gonna have any answers.” Luz groans out.

Camila sighs, dropping her gaze, “I know mi amor, I just worry.”

Luz softens, she can’t really be annoyed with her mother, not when all she does is care for her. “I know Mami, I’m sorry. It’s just so long… like is this really necessary?”

“Lucecita, I know it’s boring, but you know that we have to do this.” Camila tries to give her a sympathetic smile, but it gives her no comfort.

“I know.”

Eyes flitting to the side, Camila inhales deeply, ready to say something.

“So that’s sent off now.” Leading with her smile, the doctor walks in, a stethoscope already slung around her neck, “We only have your pulse to check and we’re done.”

Boredly swinging her legs against the hospital bed, Luz briefly nods, communicating to the doctor her understanding. The doctor crouches down slightly, pressing the bell chest piece over her heart. The doctor presses her lips together, eyebrows furrowing over focused eyes, as she listens to her heartbeat. Anxiety starts to rise from her nose, her fingers beginning to tingle, the way the doctor studies her makes her worried.

She rises up, taking her stethoscope off and placing them on the desk.

She smiles, “It’s a healthy heartbeat, I see no problems, you’re perfectly fine.”

Luz hears her mom exhale a deep sigh of relief, her hand over her heart. “Que bueno.”

“If you just wait outside in the waiting room for a while, I’ll just collect the data from your blood results.”

Luz catches the frown that tugs at Camila’s lips, stress returning to her senses.

♡︎

Camila’s hand grips her own firmly, her knuckles going white from how tight she’s holding on. If her arm didn’t go numb from the blood pressure test earlier, it definitely is going numb from the manifestation of all of Camila’s stress in that moment, all her circulation halted by her grip. Luz dully looks at the wall, her mind miles away in another world. It helps to disassociate, it steadies her, nullifying all her anxiety from sitting in a hospital waiting room. The stiff back of the plastic seating makes her spine ache, making the waiting process much more tedious than it should be.

“I don’t think they’ll find anything new. I mean the tests earlier would show something if there was something wrong, right?” Camila asks, rapidly rambling.

She worries more than Luz at these things, always has, but Luz supposes that that’s just part of being a mother. She cares – more than she has to.

Luz sighs, her thumb rubbing small circles into Camila’s skin to reassure her, “Mami, I’m going to be okay. The tests always come back negative; I doubt it’ll be any different this time.”

“Si pero, things can change and develop between each appointment. I worry Luz, I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t lose me.”

The doctor walks out the door, clipboard in hand, her expression is neutral causing Camila to grip her hand even tighter.

“The results conclude that there are no signs of any disease or any problems whatsoever, you have a healthy girl in your hands Mrs Noceda.”

♡︎

Outside the hospital, Camila and Luz hold each other arm in arm, clinging to each other closely like a child would hold their teddy. Despite abhorring the appointments, Luz appreciates these small moments, taking them as an opportunity to bond and spend time with her mother. Those moments are scarce now that Camila is working longer hours, but they’re precious nonetheless.

Cool late autumn breeze passes by them, their jackets serving as their only protection against it. It’s one of those rare days that the sun is out, shining brightly, accompanied by clear blue skies despite the low temperatures. The trees ahead of them have already shed the majority of their coats, the fiery leaves lying lazily on the ground near their roots.  She listens to the starlings’ song in the distance, a combination of whistles and clicks, as they walk along the pavement.

Camila pulls Luz a little closer, “You were so brave in your appointment today.” She says proudly, “I remember when we first started, you were in absolute tears. It pained me to bring you every other month after that but – “

“It’s a necessary precaution.” Luz finishes for her, “I know Mami, I know. But aren’t you worried that all of this is becoming a little pricey?”

It’s a sensible concern, considering all the bills that came out of her Papi’s own visits – they were lucky enough to get a loan to cover it the first time, Luz doesn’t want to know what they’ll do this time if they can’t afford it.

“Nonsense mija, I got it.”

“But-“

“Estrella I got it. Trust me.”

Luz cowers into herself, she trusts her mother but she just doesn’t trust the situation.

Camila’s eyes soften at the sight of this, she exhales and offers her a small smile, “Well on the bright side, you know what always comes after check-ups?”

Luz’s face lights up at this. “Milkshakes?”

Camila nods, confirming Luz’s hopes, “Milkshakes.”

♡︎

Per tradition, Camila has always taken Luz out to the local diner for milkshakes. At first it was a bargaining chip to convince Luz to not bite the nurse whenever she tried to take her blood, but now it’s part of their routine, a comfortability. At this point she is convinced that abundance of milkshakes she has drunk in her youth has caused her newly developed lactose intolerance. Luckily for her, lactase is available in every corner-store pharmacy.

Luz swirls the straw around the glass happily mixing the whipped cream into the liquid. Once it’s properly incorporated, she takes a long slurp from her drink, absentmindedly smiling into the straw. Camila dips one of her fries into her own milkshake before mindlessly nibbling on it. It’s miscellaneous chatter between comfortable smiles. Still a moment to treasure in Luz’s mind – the only thing she looks forward to in these visits.

“So, tell me more about the many adventures of Luz Noceda,” Camila prompts, waving her fry in the air, “anything new, any new friends,” she gasps, waggling an eyebrow, “any lovers~?”

Luz blushes red, laughing as she speaks, “Mama!”

“What? Can’t a mother be curious? I may have been eavesdropping when you went to that Halloween party-“

“May have?”

“Okay, I was eavesdropping, but I heard Gus say that you were dressing up for someone… Could this be a secret amante that you’re hiding from your poor old mother?” Camila squeals almost dramatically with a glee akin to a schoolgirl’s.

“Ay Mami, siempre eres tan dramática. And you’re not old!”

“Older than you!” she exclaims childishly, and Luz can’t help but smile. “So tell me Estrella, is there a lover in the midst of your life?”

Luz sighs, thinking about the past weeks, memories of hand holding in the hallways and stolen kisses between classes materialising in her mind. It’s been a dream dating Amity Blight, and just knowing that its real is a slow process that she hasn’t caught up with yet. But the more people she tells, the realer is feels.

So, she smiles, slightly pushing her milkshake away before dreamily placing her chin beneath her hands. “Well…” Luz starts, butterflies already starting to infest her stomach, “there’s this girl, her name is Amity Blight, and… we’ve been dating these past few weeks.”

The excited scream that rips out of Camila’s mouth is glass-shattering, Luz winces slightly in response but Camila’s cheer is undeniably contagious. “Lo sabia!” she says confidently, her hands clasping together, “Who is she? Have I met her?”

Luz purses her lips, instantly realising how Vee must’ve felt when she bombarded her with questions. She bites back a groan and instead fishes her phone from her pocket, flicking through the pictures until she settles on one of the most recent pictures of Amity. Luz smiles, warmth taking over her chest just from looking at a picture of her girlfriend. She turns the screen around, handing over her phone to her mother.

It’s a simple picture, Amity is smiling her cheeks flushed red, hand slightly (unsuccessfully) covering the camera. Luz had just complimented her, unabashedly flirting with her until she went bright red, deciding to take a picture when she was the most flustered. Luz believes that she can remember that moment just with her memory alone - the way her eyes beautifully shone imprinted deep into her mind. Nothing can compare to the real thing – but a photo will do.

Camila’s eyes briefly study the photo, a grin on her lips as she gushes, “Que hermosa tu novia!”

“Verdad?” Luz sighs out absentmindedly.

“So when did this start?”

“Start of November.”

“Oooh sounds serious. I can already hear the wedding bells.”

Luz suddenly blows into her straw hard, all the liquid ricocheting off the glass and exploding on her face. “Ma! It’s only been a couple of weeks!”

Camila laughs, bringing a napkin up to Luz’s face to wipe away the milkshake remains. “I know amor, I was only teasing.” She hums contentedly, folding the napkin neatly and tucking it beneath her basket of fries. “You know it only took me a few weeks to realise that I was going to love your father forever.”

Luz doesn’t meet her gaze, instead her eyes trail her straw as she swirls it around the leftover milkshake. Though it doesn’t hide the blush that starts to rise in her cheeks. She’s not sure if she loves Amity like that yet, they haven’t been dating for long, so the idea seems incredulous to give her that unconditional devotion right now, but the idea of loving Amity like that some point in the future… it’s nice.

 “And how do you know something like that so early?”

Camila winks, “Mother’s intuition.”

She wrinkles her nose, “You weren’t even a mother back then!”

“No, but it still applies, call it an eighth sense. Your father was just a very kind man, he understood me in ways that nobody else could- it doesn’t hurt that your Papi was very handsome - muy guapo. So hot you could fry an egg on his skin!” Camila dramatically fans herself to emphasize her point.

“Mama!”

“What?” Camila shrugs nonchalantly, “Can’t a woman appreciate her handsome husband?”

“Maybe.” Luz mutters.

It’s this silly greed that she craves despite the way her stomach seems to contract at the mention of her father. It’s this need to consume every piece of information she can about him just so she can feel close to him once more.

Luz bites her tongue before asking, “How did you and Papi meet?”

“Hm?” Camila raises an eyebrow, “You’ve never really asked me about your Papi before.”

“I know… I just- I just want to hear about him today. Please.”

Camila’s expression softens as she places her finger on her chin, tapping it pensively, “Let me think… Was it spring or summer?... No. It was Autumn. We met at sci-fi society at the local library. I just moved to Connecticut for my first semester at Yale and it was hard being by myself, I missed your abuelos and it was so lonely.”

A frown tugs at Luz lips, not only could she relate to these feelings of loneliness, but she has also never seen her mom so vulnerable.

There’s this lovesick gaze that strikes Camila in that moment as she says, “And then I met Manny. He was one of the only other people there, and I gravitated towards him. Maybe it was fate, and it was the thread of life bringing us together, or maybe it was because he was familiar, safe. Besides myself he was the only other Latino there, and when you go to a school with mainly white people who don’t fully know how smart you are despite you working just as hard to get there… Manny was a piece of home I never knew I needed.”

Tears pinprick the corners of Camila’s eyes and Luz swallows the knot that has begun to form in her throat. She wants to tell her mother that she no longer needs to speak of him if it makes her sad, but she decides otherwise. It’s selfish. But she needs to be close to him.

“And what did you say to him when you saw him?” Luz prompts.

A small smile grows on her lips, “Hello.”

It’s instant how they both burst into laughter, Camila’s own chuckle laced with hints of tears.

“Just ‘hello’? Nothing more interesting?”

“What else was I supposed to say? We just met!” Camila exclaims.

“I don’t know, something with more pizazz! Oh-oh, maybe something like ‘I am Camila Reyes of the Human Realm, daughter of Maria and Ignacio.” Luz shakes her fist with vigour.

“Definitely not.” Camila states, crossing her arms.

“Why not?”

“It isn’t one of your fantasy books Luz.”

“No, but you’re still a nerd, I mean ‘sci-fi society’, come on Mami.”

Camila blushes slightly and leans over the table to ruffle Luz’s hair, “Well you had to get your imagination from somewhere.”

Luz smiles cheekily, “So how did you know you loved him~”

“I fell.” Camila laughs. “Literally. I fell down a couple of steps and hit my head, and when I was slightly concussed, all I thought about was how he was my best friend, the one person I could fully rely on. He defended me and he cared for me, and he was just so kind. You get that from him you know. Your stubbornness but also your relentless kindness, you see the good in people even when they can’t see it themselves.” Camila hums, fiddling with her fingers as she speaks, “I broke my arm that day, I fell on it to soften my fall, but when I gained consciousness, I went over to his house and told him how I felt. He was pleased with what I told him, and he said that he loved me back, but then he told me how reckless I was for coming over instead of the hospital, so then I quoted the great Chief O’Bailey: ‘Love is the greatest adventure of them all. It's filled with pitfalls and setbacks and mistakes but it's a journey worth taking 'cause you take it together.’”

“That’s so cheesy mom, but also super romantic…”

“I’m quite the romantic, aren’t I?” she smiles.

Luz’s own smile drops, her gaze falling onto her milkshake glass, her eyes – distant. “Do you miss him?” she asks, her voice small and barely above a whisper.

Without a beat of hesitation Camila answers, “Every moment that I breathe.”

There’s a bittersweet silence that coats the air around them that Luz can’t fully process and digest.

Camila is the first to speak, “So when can I meet this ‘Amity’?”

Luz fidgets with her straw, pinching the top with her fingers.

It’s not that she’s embarrassed… she could never be embarrassed about Camila. But their lives, their home… it’s just – different.

And how do you even begin to explain to your mother who you love so dearly that the person your dating is from another world much different to their own.

She can’t fully conceptualise why and can’t rationalise all her thoughts. All she knows is that she’s scared, scared that if Amity catches a glimpse into their lives, she’ll see how she’s not normal- not in the same way she is. And if she does, she’ll leave.

So Luz settles on a, “Soon. But not yet.”

Chapter Text

Amity laughs as Luz falls on her butt for the umpteenth time.

Dazzling lights dance around the wooden floor in a myriad of shapes and colours. Couples and groups of friends laugh and chatter as they mill around in their skates, successfully meandering within the rink – something that cannot be said the same about Luz.

‘SK8 WRLD’ is the new roller-rink on the edge of town, fashioned in an 80’s retro (Luz doesn’t really know why the majority of the venues in their town are retro themed- maybe the owners have a nostalgic boner for these kind of things). The disco ball shines and twirls, illuminating the dark room. Dimly lit silhouettes dance around, whirling quickly in circles, though Luz can’t make out more than their outlines. At the base of the rink is DJ booth, it is wide and chunky and sticks out slightly onto the rink. Two large retro speakers are on either side of the booth, the cushioning slightly faded and worn. The DJ himself is in his mid-forties with a pot belly and a slightly balding head, he plays a series of 80’s songs in theme with the rink, a some are recognisable, and others aren’t.

 A few paces in front of them is Willow and Hunter hand in hand, skating with much better ease. Willow already being an expert in skates is helping out Hunter, his arms are tightly wound up around her own whilst his legs precariously wobble like a baby deer gaining movement. Not that Luz is doing any better, considering her current predicament of her rear being best friends with the floor- at this point she thinks that the two might as well get married.

Amity being the gracious girlfriend she is, outstretches her hand, her eyes still creased from barely contained laughter.

“Here, let me help you up.” She says.

Amity’s still laughing when Luz tentatively reaches out for her hand, though that laughter is prematurely halted when she herself loses balance and ungracefully falls on her own butt. Turns out Amity isn’t a great skater either. Luz laughs uncontrollably as Amity blows a stray hair upwards.

“I think you should help yourself up first.” Luz teases.

Amity rolls her eyes before pushing herself off the floor. She has difficulty finding footing, the wheels of her skates slipping on the smooth wood. Luz has a similar problem in getting up and they both cling to each other, trying to find stability in one another. They make it a few steps forwards before becoming acquaintances with gravity once more. It’s a somewhat dance they repeat again and again, a couple of shaky steps here and there, barely managing to make it halfway through the rink. Luz is certain that the DJ has played the entirety of Whitney Houston’s discography in the time it took the pair to advance 3 metres (minor exaggeration but her point still stands).

No matter how many times they fall, Amity is always holding her hand. Their hands become a little clammy from tightly pressed fingertips but neither seem to mind, instead Luz finds a great comfort in their intertwined warmth. She honestly can’t think of any other place she’d rather be.

It is not long before they both fall again, this time Amity is pressed onto Luz, briefly winding the air out of her lungs.

“Ow.” Luz groans, rubbing the back of her head.

A couple of kids no older than ten skate circles around them, almost antagonising them. Luz screws her eyebrows into a tight line with half a mind to stick her tongue out at them. She is stopped when she feels Amity’s laughter rumbling on her chest.

God she is so pretty, she thinks, her cheeks starting to burn red.

Amity preps her chin on Luz’s chest, her gorgeous golden eyes shining beneath the dim disco lights.

“This isn’t exactly romantic, is it? Us constantly falling on our asses.” Amity muses a giggle on the tip of her tongue.

Luz grins, the most shit-eating grin she can muster, “I don’t know Blight, it looks like you’re falling for me.” She waggles an eyebrow.

“Pffft.” Amity laughs, pushing Luz’s face away with her hand. “You wish.”

“Yeah, I do.” Luz grabs Amity’s wrist and pulls it away from her face, quickly surging forward to plant a kiss onto her lips.

 Luz will never stop enjoying the way Amity melts into her whenever they kiss. It’s a timeless sensation that she will never stop craving. When they pull away Amity’s cheeks are a furious shade of fuchsia. That also never gets old.

“Cat got your tongue Blight?” she says smugly, the smile on her face is constant and unwavering.

Amity smiles sweetly and Luz instantly knows she’s in trouble. “Never.” She grabs Luz by her collar and presses their lips together.

Okay maybe Amity isn’t the only one that melts into their kisses.

Luz chases Amity’s warmth as she pulls away giggling, clearly proud that she was able to reduce Luz into a puddle of lovestruck goop.

“Two can play it that game.” Amity whispers into her ear, her dulcet tone tickling her skin.

In the past weeks that they’ve been dating, Luz began to see parts of Amity that she’s never seen before, parts of Amity that she believes (that she knows) are only reserved for people close to her. She has grown to know the cocky Amity, the unabashedly loud and excitable Amity, the sweet and shy Amity. All different facets of her that connect them to one another.

Luz likes when Amity is overly confident, it lights a flame in the pits of her stomach like an untamed wildfire, it brings out this playfulness that makes her feel complete.

Luz peppers her face with fleeting kisses, enjoying the way Amity squeals and squirms with each one. She almost forgets that they’re sprawled across the roller rink floor, surrounded by masses of increasingly sweaty strangers and badly mixed 80’s tunes. What brings her back to earth is the ear-piercing feedback and a muffled finger tapping twice against the microphone.

“Can the two teenagers in the middle of the rink stop making kissy faces at each other and move out the way?” comes out the dry voice of the DJ, his face is unwaveringly bored and blank.

Luz’s face becomes red hot. She looks to her side and sees that Amity is equally if not redder than she is, the warmth spreading all the way to her shoulders and ears.

“Shit.” Amity mutters, frantically tapping at Luz’s chest. “Get up, get up, get up.”

Despite Amity showing more aspects of herself, one thing never changes is the fact that Amity Blight will always be scared of authority figures. Luz finds it laughable that in this particular situation the ‘authority figure’ in question is a balding DJ who is most likely being paid just above minimum wage, but sure, she’ll indulge in her girlfriend’s cute panicking.

Her hands find ground against the polished wood, pushing them both up into a squatting position before steadying themselves into standing up straight. They wobble for a bit, but the embarrassment from being called out by the DJ brought upon this new sense of determination onto Amity, her brows furrow into a concentrated line and her tongue sticks out slightly as she tries to find her centre of balance.

A gust of wind brushes past them as Willow and Hunter elegantly and flawlessly skate alongside them as if they’re cruising across the clouds. Seems like Hunter got the hang of skates rather quickly (it doesn’t hurt that his partner is an expert at roller-skating). Willow twirls Hunter around with an overexaggerated flare and Luz instantly knows that she’s messing with them. Luz sticks her tongue out at them and flips them off.

“Show-offs!” she shouts after them.

Willow knowingly smiles and twirls Hunter again.

Amity loudly thuds onto the floor, her face scrunching into a frustrated pout. She sharply exhales, “I don’t get it!”

Luz cocks her head to the side, “Don’t get what?”

“This!” she says exasperated, pointing towards her rollerblades, “I usually pick up things quickly, but I keep messing up. Like logically this should be like ice skating, right? I’m good at ice skating. But every time I try to apply what I know I just fall over.”

“Awww, did the princessa finally find something she’s not good at?” she teases.

“Luz-” she lowly growls.

“Calm down nena.” She pulls Amity up, ignoring the way her own skates wobble beneath her, “You’re amazing at pretty much everything else, so what if rollerblading is a dud?”

Amity sighs, defeated, “I don’t know. It’s hard I guess.”

“What? Not being good at everything?”

“No. I mean things not always being easy. I’m used to things coming to me naturally or just eventually. These kinds of things are meant to be easy for me. But when they’re not, I get really-“

“Frustrated?” Luz finishes for her. Amity nods, her lips pressed into a tight line. “I kinda gathered that.”

Amity smiles sheepishly and fiddles with her fingers, her forefinger beginning to chip of the black nail polish from her thumb.

Luz steadies her hands, “Well some things are never going to be easy, but we’ll figure it out together. Okay?” Amity smiles, genuinely this time. “Besides, good skater, bad skater with your butt glued to the floor, you’re the prettiest skater on earth if you ask me.”

Amity makes a face, her nose crinkling like a rabbit’s. She’s contemplating whether or not to let out another frustrating screech or to relax and laugh. Usually, it is hard to calm down Amity when she’s all wound up, not only has Luz experienced her frustration first hand but she’s also seen that anger geared towards others, and it is in one word: terrifying. But lately Luz has realised that she has gained the superhuman ability to be able to calm Amity down, something that she is incredibly proud of.

 Amity tightens her ponytail and smiles. She looks in the direction of the DJ and once she sees that he too occupied to be paying attention to them, she chastely pecks Luz’s cheek. “You’re too sweet.” She hums, intertwining their fingers together. “But you’re wrong on that last statement.”

Luz raises an eyebrow, “Oh?”

Amity shakily reaches over to bop Luz’s nose, “You’re the prettiest skater on earth.”

♡︎

Luz pumps another slim line of mustard on her hotdog. The yellow sauce drips onto the side of the bun, messily coating her fingertips. She licks her lips and begins scarfing it down the moment it reaches her mouth.

Hunter wrinkles his nose in disgust, his lips pulled down into a slight grimace. “Are you really going to eat like that with your date here?”

Luz perks up her lips rimmed with mustard, “Hm? Amity doesn’t mind, do you nena?” she says between mouthfuls.

Amity pinks at the nickname. Her own hotdog is cleaner and considerably less messy than Luz’s, and her bites are way smaller. “I don’t mind.” She says, taking a slightly bigger bite in solidarity.

Hunter rolls his eyes, acutely aware of how whipped Amity is for Luz. “Well, what about my date? Willow doesn’t have to see all of that.” He says, gesturing towards her body in a circular motion.

She waves him off, “Trust me, Willow’s seen much worse.”

Willow dramatically grabs her heart and sighs looking skyward, “Oh chubby bunny of 2-Oh-18.”

“Do I wanna know?” Amity half whispers to Willow.

“Not if you still want to be attracted to her.”

Amity’s mouth does a little ‘o’.

“I don’t see why you’re so worried Hunter, like you’ve done way more embarrassing things when we were kids.” Luz adds on nonchalantly while she dabs at her lips with a napkin.

Willow’s eyes brighten in an instant, a glint of mischief in her bright green irises. “What kind of things?”

She inhales deeply, ready to reveal his ugly secrets.

Suddenly Hunter’s gruff hands cover Luz’s mouth, preventing her from uttering another word. Panic dances in his eyes, his heart beating so profoundly that Luz can feel his pulse on his wrist. “Nothing important.” He says hurriedly an octave too high.

Luz licks his palm, and he instantly releases her.

“Ewwww!” he whines.

“As I was saying, when we were little, our dear Hunter used to-”

“LUZ USED TO MEOW AT THE NEIGHBOURS!” Hunter sputters out before Luz can say another word.

Luz’s cheeks bloom into a bright pink.

“What?” Amity says curiously. Luz doesn’t miss the slight curl on her lips.

“She used to meow at the neighbours whenever she saw them on the streets. And she would hiss at the ‘bad neighbours’.” He clarifies.

Amity turns to Luz and strokes her cheek, “Awww, baby that’s adorable.”

Luz leans into her touch and smiles until she momentarily stops, “Wait are you petting me?!”

“Maybe.” Amity hums cheekily. “Ghost likes it when I do.”

She shakes her head, brushing off the fact that her girlfriend compared her to her cat. Briefly distracted by her girlfriend’s soft hands, Luz returns to her story, wanting to quickly shift the attention from herself. Amity may have found that story cute, but it isn’t guaranteed that she’ll find all the stories endearing. “Well Hunter used to think he was a wolf for a whole month! He wouldn’t eat unless Tio Darius put it in a dog bowl!”

Now its Hunter’s turn to blush, “Luz fell into the toilet, feet first!” he retorts quickly.

“Feet first? How did you manage that?” Amity asks.

Luz slightly panics and tries to change the subject, “Hunter peed himself on the first day of kindergarten!”

“Luz laughed so hard that hot chocolate came out her nose!”

“Hunter thought that a period pad was a giant Band-Aid and came out the bathroom with three stuck to his leg!”

“Luz thought the world was still Pangea until the fifth grade!”

They quick fire embarrassing stories and quips, directing each one to each other’s respective date. Amity mainly laughs quietly, her hand still wrapped around Luz’s, she finds most of the stories to be endearing and she lets Luz know after each one. Willow on the other hand further teases Hunter, though her words carry no malice but rather her own kind of endearment. Luz thinks that Willow likes watching Hunter become a puddle of words (it is so easy to do that in hindsight), it becoming her own personal form of amusement.

After a while, when they run out of stories to tell, they fall into casual conversation. They order more food and drinks, laughing over most random things. She’s relieved that none of the stories were too embarrassing. She isn’t sure how long endearment lasts with these kinds of things.

Over their chatter, Luz doesn’t miss the way Amity’s fingers curl around her own, or the way her head inches closer to her shoulder. Luz hums contently, comfortable in her embrace.

♡︎

Stars twinkle brightly above them, a thin mist of fog clinging to their lips.

Each couple had separated at the roller-rink, heading to their own respective homes. Luz, being the gentleman that she is, had offered to walk Amity home, both as a form of chivalry and a selfish desire to spend more time with her date. She supposes that Amity shares that same desire as she allows Luz to walk her home, her arms firmly wrapped around Luz’s. Her cheeks brighten at the way Amity holds her close to her body. Maybe it’s to maintain some kind of warmth in the blistering weather or maybe (hopefully) it’s just her wanting to be closer to her.

Luz thinks it’s the latter.

They fall into a comfortable silence, no immediate need to verbalise any thoughts, the only sound in the quiet night is their own breaths and pounding heartbeats.

It might be imagined but Luz believes that even their heartbeats are in sync.

When the Blight Manor comes into view, the large, dark structure visible to human eyes even a block away, Amity says the first words of their walk.

“I had fun today.” She says simply.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Even when Hunter said all those things about me?”

Amity laughs, “Wait until you meet my siblings, I bet you they have way more embarrassing stories about me.”

Luz lightens up at this, “Can you tell me any of those stories?” she sweetly flutters her lashes.

Amity pushes her face away and snorts, “Not today lover-girl.”

She raises her hands in mock surrender, “Okay, okay another day.” Luz smiles. “Sooo…”

“Sooo…” Amity mimics with a giggle.

“This date wasn’t a bust?”

“Far from it.” She hums, twirling a strand of lilac hair between her thumb and forefinger.

They’re approaching the Blight Manor now, close enough to count the lights from the windows.

Luz clasps her hand tightly around Amity’s and twirls her around into a tight embrace, their noses brushing against each other, only a fingertip away.

“Far from it huh? Even when we were falling on our butts every ten seconds.”

“Especially when we were falling on our butts every ten seconds.” She grabs the lapels of Luz’s coat and leans forward, so close that she can feel her breath on her lips.

Oh, how Luz feels weightless staring into those eyes.

Amity’s phone pings in her pocket. She fishes it out and sighs, deflated, when she sees the text.

“My mom knows I’m here and she’s telling me to come inside.” She says apologetically.

Luz raises an eyebrow, “How’d she know?”

Amity groans, “She told me to turn on my location before I went out. Wouldn’t let me go otherwise.”

She lowly whistles, “That sucks.”

“Yeah. But at least I still got to see you.”

“If you’d like, I can get Eda to look into it. Could probably hack into it and programme your location to Antarctica or something.”

She laughs, grinning wildly. “Sounds like a plan.”

Another ping.

Amity’s grin drops. “I gotta go. See you, Luz.”

She raises herself to give Luz a deep kiss and she finds that their kisses are sweeter when they’re fleeting- it’s like a secret only they know. Amity waves a quick goodbye before descending into her house.

Luz watches as Amity disappears inside, her heart still thrumming in her chest.

Chapter Text

“What differentiates a homogenous mixture from a pure substance?” Amity mutters to herself, her canines chewing at the tip of her ballpoint pen. An object the size of a marble hits the back of her head. “Ow!” she yelps, swinging her chair around to face Luz. “Did you just throw an M&M at my head?!”

Luz looks up from Amity’s bed. One hand is clutching onto a sprawled open Azura book, while the other guilty hand is wriggled in a half-eaten M&M bag. Ghost is nestled on her lap, pink nose buried into her pant leg, purring happily in the warmth of her thigh. Luz removes her hand from the candy bag and raises it almost innocently. “You said to make sure you stay focused!”

“By throwing an M&M at my head?!”

“You were talking! You said no talking!”

“I was reading out the question- Ow! Did you just throw another M&M at me?!”

“No talking!”

They’ve made it a habit to study together for the upcoming exams at the end of the semester. Well, Amity studies whilst Luz just hangs about, usually occupied with reading or other miscellaneous things. Most of the time Luz likes to watch Amity as she furiously scribbles onto flashcards, using her neat array of highlighters to decorate each one. Sometimes Luz helps her study by quizzing her or drawing tiny doodles onto the flashcards that are actually surprisingly helpful (Luz has always been a visual learner). She would study if it weren’t for the fact that traditional forms of learning don’t really help her. She always seems to focus on other things in the room like the quiet hum of the lights or the posters on the wall, basically all things that are not homeostasis and then suddenly its midnight and she has nothing done. Unless it’s a last-minute recap, the information doesn’t stay in her head. It’s like her brain is a ticking time bomb and she doesn’t react to it until the numbers are flashing ‘3 SECONDS!’- she always works best under pressure.

So, she prefers to accompany her girlfriend as she panics her way through textbooks and sharpening her pencils until they’re tiny wooden nubs. Amity’s hair is pulled up in a messy ponytail, lilac tendrils cascade down her face, her thin reading glasses sliding down her slight upturned nose – in every single form, Amity Blight is the most beautiful girl Luz has laid eyes on.

Her face goes red as she scrunches her nose, “Luz-”

“Look I’m just doing what my pretty girlfriend asked me to do.” she smugly places her forefinger to her chin, an impish grin sliced across her face, “And if I recall correctly, she promised me a kiss or two when she finishes studying.”

Amity folds her glasses and places them on her desk, “If she finishes studying. And last I checked she said one kiss not two.” There’s a small mischievous glimmer in her eyes, and quite frankly that mischief scares Luz to the core, “But, unfortunately her girlfriend is way too distracting.” Amity sighs dramatically, “I guess she’ll never finish studying. Bye-bye kisses.”

“No kisses?” Luz exclaims, clutching her heart in mock hurt, “You wound me Blight.”

Amity rolls her eyes. “You’re such a dork.”

“I think you should go back to studying so you can give your very deserving girlfriend the kisses she was promised.” Luz picks up a random book from the desk and flips it open to a random page. She coughs into her fist and recites the passage in a haughty voice, “O, wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world, That has such people-”

“One kiss.” Amity says, snatching the book from her hands. “And I’m not onto the Tempest yet, that’s lit, I’m doing chemistry right now dummy.”

Luz stretches her arms over her head, a wide yawn escaping her lips, “I don’t get why you’re studying so much. I mean you’re like the smartest person I know. Besides these exams are basically flukes, we’ve already done our SATs so the hard part is gone. What d’you get for that anyways? 1480?”

“1550, actually.” Amity closes the Tempest and places it on her bookshelf. She shuts her eyes for a couple of seconds and sighs, “My mom wants me to keep up my 4.0 gpa.” She wags a finger in mock anger at Luz, “No slipping up young lady, a Blight always excels.”

Luz has heard a lot of stories about Amity’s mother Odalia Blight, but she has never met the mythic bitch in person. One thing she does know is that she is not eager or in any hurry to meet her either. From what she’s gathered, from the bits and pieces that Amity has told her, is that Odalia Blight is the snuffer to Amity’s brilliance and shine- she always brings her down – an extinguisher to her flame. And Luz has a word or two (possibly with her fists) for anybody that dampens Amity, for anybody who hurts her. Odalia Blight is coincidently the first on her list.

 She ignores her thoughts on Odalia and focuses on Amity instead, her long arms languidly wrapping around her shoulders, “Well, I think you’ve done enough for today, take a break cariño.”

“I still have to finish this module and start on the Tempest-” Amity starts to protest but Luz hastily quiets her with a kiss.

“Just a few minutes, I promise.”

Amity’s face screws into a sour pout, her eyebrows furrowing together. She opens her mouth as if she’s about to say something, but a small yawn escapes her lips instead. “Okay.” She says, “Just a couple of minutes and then I’ll get back to the homo-genies substances.”

“Homogenous.”

“Whatever. Just cuddle me for a bit Noceda.” Amity extends her arms outwards, and Luz quickly obliges, slipping her fingers beneath her thighs to hoist her up. She takes them both to Amity’s bed, her cheeks blooming a soft hue of pink when Amity squeals as they flop onto the mattress. Amity’s small outbursts of absolute cuteness still takes her by surprise.

Once they’re properly settled, Amity weaves her fingers into Luz’s hair, index fingers twirling curls. She hums, burying her face into Luz’s chest. “Just a couple of minutes.” Amity says dazedly, almost to herself.

“Yeah, I got that, you don’t need to remind me Blight.” Luz noses Amity’s hairline, a small smile on her lips. No response. “Blight?”

Soft snores escape her parted lips in small puffs. Luz’s heart warms at the sight. She wraps her arms around waist, bringing her in closer to her body, heat seeping through their skins.

Amity deserves to rest, Luz decides, she’s been working too hard.

She promptly kisses her forehead before resting her head against Amity’s goose down pillows.

Dang, rich people have comfy pillows.

Luz feels her eyelids becoming heavy, her lashes fluttering close. Comfy pillows, warm girlfriend – sleep sounds good.

Just a couple of minutes, maybe five, then she’ll wake Amity up.

Just five minutes.

♡︎

Bleary eyes blink open, Luz’s vision begins to come back to her in pieces. She feels a vague warmth around her waist, but she feels no urge to resist it. Slowly, she starts to collect her bearings: Azura posters that are not her own, vivid pink walls, and an array of crystal stars hanging from the ceiling.

Oh yeah, Luz thinks, she fell asleep at Amity’s place.

She looks down and see’s Amity still curled up against her side, her rolling snores sounding suspiciously like purrs. Luz cranes her head down and gently kisses her. Amity stirs slightly and begins to kiss back.

Her eyes flutter open, golden eyes behind thick lashes stare back at her. “Hey baby.” She says softly, a yawn at the tip of her tongue.

Luz is a goner.

It’s weirdly domestic. Just waking up to each other sets her insides aflame. Something so simple tears her apart so easily.

“Hey.” She croaks back.

Luz internally winces, she doubts that sounded sweet, but her voice always seems to crack whenever she first wakes up.

Amity smiles, not seeming to care… That is until she sees the alarm clock behind Luz’s head, the bright red digits blinking silently: 7:30 PM.

Instantly upon reading the numbers, Amity jumps out of bed, her right knee jerking upwards and hitting Luz pointedly in the abdomen.

“Arghhh.” Luz groans, clutching her stomach.

Amity’s hands fly upwards to cover her gasp, “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” she repeats like a mantra, “I’m so sorry, but you have to go.”

“Huh?” Kneed in the gut and kicked out in the span of a minute is not something Luz expected when Amity invited her over to study. She props herself up on the bed and watches as Amity hurriedly mills around her room, picking up Luz’s things and shoving them in her bag. “Nena, what’s wrong?”

“I lost track of time when we fell asleep, and I just saw the time. My mom gets back from work soon and I’m not meant to have anybody over on a school night.”

“Aww, you broke the rules to see me?” Luz says with a cocky grin, but Amity is already pushing her out the door.

In a flurry of limbs and stairs (many, many stairs), Luz makes it to the front door in just a couple of minutes. Amity impatiently taps her foot against the floor as Luz toes her shoes, not even bothering to undo her laces.

“Finally.” Amity says exasperated, grabbing Luz’s hand and flinging the door open.

Amity pales, her face turning white like ivory. “Mother.” She breathes out.

At the door stands a fairly tall, shapely woman, her dark black hair pulled back into a slick bun, not a single hair out of place. She is stunningly beautiful but a wave of cruel washes over her features making her look cold. Her piercing blue eyes scan Luz, deducting the situation in seconds. She sneers slightly, her upper lips jutting upwards – it seems that she doesn’t think much of Luz from what she sees. Suddenly, beneath her gaze, Luz feels like she’s being wrapped in a cyclone of the North winds. She pulls her jacket around her even tighter.

Odalia Blight.

The mythic bitch finally has a physical form that Luz can repeat to memory.

“Amity.” She smiles coldly. “And I’m assuming that this is your girlfriend.”

She says the word girlfriend as if it is a tough piece of gum that she can’t quite chew.

“Yes.” Amity says curtly, avoiding all forms of eye contact, “This is Luz, and she was just leaving.”

“Nonsense.” Odalia clasps her hands together. Luz gazes absentmindedly to Odalia’s hands, her breath catching in her chest when she realises that her nails are filed into pretty points, menacingly sharp. Amity had told her that her mother is a very important CEO in some home security manufacturing company, but Luz doesn’t know any CEO that would have the need to sharpen their nails so, but the thought chills her to the bones and forces her to swallow the pool of saliva that has started to gather at the back of her throat. “Why don’t we invite Luz inside for dinner, I would love to get to know her better.” She smiles with those all too perfect, all too white teeth- hardly any warmth behind it.

Amity clutches onto Luz like a lifeline, her knuckles turning white. “What about your no guest rule?”

“Well, I don’t see why we can’t extend the invitation even further seeing how you have already broken the rules. And I suppose we can, ah, make an exception. I insist.” Every word that comes out of her mouth is like poison, it seeps into Luz’s mind like a viper bite.

The grip on her arm tightens. Luz turns to face Amity, her face is ghostly, her lips pressed into a tight line almost as if she is going to explode. Her fingers tremble against her arm but despite her shaking there’s a determined look on her face, her golden eyes are unwavering, shining with a protective gleam.

She’s challenging her, Luz deducts.

Amity doesn’t stand down; her eyes disobediently glare into her mother’s. It’s a terrifying scene, both Blights staring each other down- an unmovable object meeting an unstoppable force. Who is which, Luz can’t decide.

She takes this as her chance to intercept. “Thank you for the offer, Mrs Blight, but my mother is expecting me for dinner and Amity has already offered to walk me home.” Luz musters her best people pleasing smile and hopes that it’s enough.

Odalia straightens herself, “Is that so?”

Amity snaps out of her protective stupor and pushes past her mother, “Yes, and we’re already late, aren’t we Luz?”

Luz wordlessly nods and before she knows it, she’s being pulled out the door and in a few seconds they’re already on the sidewalk briskly walking away from the manor.

“That was intense.” Luz sighs out.

When the manor becomes a spec in the distance, Amity releases a pent-up shriek, all her frustration being tunnelled out her lungs. “She is so, URGH!” she kicks a nearby lamppost, the hollow metallic ringing echoing through the quiet neighbourhood.

“Woah calm down hermosa. The lamppost did nothing wrong.”

“She is a- No she is the she-devil. Did you see her? Who does she think she is?” She swivels on her heel and points a menacing finger at Luz, “Do you even know how lucky you were to have me there as a buffer, you can’t even imagine the things she would say to you if you were left alone.”

“My hero.” Luz feign swoons, bumping her shoulder against hers. This seems to simmer Amity down and Luz imagines steam lines flowing out her hair like a seething teakettle.

Amity’s shoulders relax. A smile creeps onto her lips as she softly pushes Luz away, “You’re such a dick.” She gazes wistfully at the stars, almost as if she imagines herself amongst them. “Do you ever think about running away?”

The question surprises her, she’s halfway to asking her if she’s joking but when she turns look at her, the deep look in her eyes and knitted brows tells her that she’s not. Luz looks up at the same stars, brilliant balls of light glimmering in the freckled sky. She feels a little wistful too.

“Sometimes.” She answers honestly.

She’s never told anybody those thoughts, not even Willow and Gus, maybe it’s because she feels guilty.

“I used to have a plan when I was younger.” Amity says seriously, but there’s a small smile at the end, “Looking back a lot of those ideas would’ve never worked.”

Luz raises a curious brow, “Oh? And what plans were those?”

“I used to say that I would build a treehouse in the backyard and live in it… It’s not really running away if you’re just a couple hundred feet away.” She laughs humourlessly.

“And now? What are your plans now?”

“Equally as stupid, but I still like to fantasise about it.” Luz looks at her, absorbing every word. She prompts her to continue. Amity sighs, “Sometimes when I think about running away, I don’t really have a plan, maybe vague ideas of stealing a stash of my parents’ money and buying train tickets but the details aren’t really clear. There’s only one consistent thing in each plan, one thing that always stays the same.”

“And that is?”

“That I’m running away with you.”

Butterflies flutter in Luz’s chest, but these butterflies are the uncontrollable sort, the kind that are ravenous and almost carnivorous, destroying her from the inside.

Amity’s cheeks are a bright red like a fourteen-year-old schoolgirl who had just confessed to their crush. “It’s stupid I know,” she stumbles through her words.

“It’s not stupid.” Luz assures, but then she shakes her head. “Okay the running away bit is kinda stupid, ‘cause we’re two dumb teens-”

“Hey! I’m not dumb!”

Luz placatingly outstretches her hands, “Okay, okay, one dumb teen and a dumb teen with a 1550 SAT score.”

“Better.” Amity says with that wild smile of hers.

“But I don’t think the other stuff is stupid.” There’s a word for it, Luz is certain that there is, but she can’t form it around her tongue. So instead, she says, “I think I feel the same way.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, I think.”

Amity hums and laces their fingers together; her hands are frozen cold in the winter nights.

They mindlessly walk hand in hand. Amity’s nose has turned a cute shade of rosy pink, though it is distinct from her usual blush.

It’s only when they pass the same lamppost for the fifth time that Amity turns around to look at her, her hands on her hips.

Her eyes soften with a certain twinge of something that’s almost like sadness, “I’m not walking you home, am I? We’ve been walking circles around my block for the past hour.”

“Sorry Ames, not this time.” Luz says ruefully, her lips pressed into a thin line. She searches for a lie, knowing that it will only make herself feel better. “My mom doesn’t like people coming over without at least a day’s notice. House rules. I hope you can understand.”

Amity looks at her, searching her eyes for answers, trying to decipher whether she’s lying or not. With a sigh, she finally gives up, “I understand.” She says.

Luz is not sure if Amity figured her out, but something on Amity’s face tells her that she’s not fully satisfied with her answer, but she lets it fly anyways.

The only thing Luz is sure about in that moment is that she doesn’t want to let Amity go right now, not yet at least.

“Can we stay like this for a bit?”

Amity smiles, “Of course.”

The wind whistles past them, it leaves a path of biting cool in its wake. Above them the stars continue to twinkle, a moon of silver smiles back at them from its place in the sky.

Gravesfield doesn’t have many things that would make you go ‘wow’ but the night sky in its tranquil beauty – yeah that’s definitely ‘wow’ worthy. They are far enough from the big cities that the light pollution doesn’t affect them that much, leaving them the clear skies before them.

Distantly Luz can make out the outline of a couple of planets, namely Venus and Mars, maybe even Jupiter.

Love, War, and the Heavens. Luz thinks absentmindedly.

She knows a couple of facts here and there about Greek and Roman mythology, mainly due to the fact that the name of a character from her favourite book series (/slash hyper-fixation) Hecate is named after the Greek goddess of magic and she had obsessively researched the origins for her fanfiction. But also, partly due to the fact mythology brings magic into the real world, and she always longs for that kind of spark in her life. Mythology and folklore do that for her. Nobody really knows how life was in the past, not really, it’s all impressions and assumptions, and sometimes she guesses that it’s nice to believe that the reason behind the trio belt of stars in the sky is because the gods placed a giant archer there in memory.

Amity is also staring upwards into the clouds, though Luz doubts that she’s having the same thoughts. Funny how two people can look at the same sky, the same stars, the same moon and come up with different conclusions.

“I used to be able to name all the constellations in the sky when I was little… but right now they just look like lightbulb soup.” Amity says offhandedly a couple blocks later.

“What happened? Like how come you don’t remember anymore?”

“I grew up maybe,” she says simply with a shrug, “those kinds of things are no longer essential when you have other things to think about.”

“Things like your awesome girlfriend?”

“No like SATs, university applications, future careers, all that stuff.” She says with a certain finality, and then Amity pinks, suddenly becoming unsure, “And maybe a little like my awesome girlfriend.”

“Legacy stuff.” Luz says thoughtfully.

Amity frowns. “Yeah, ‘legacy stuff’.”

Luz stretches an arm around Amity and bops her nose lightly with her forefinger, “Well… If your pretty head has any space left in it, I’ll be happy to share some information. Though you might have to shuffle some files around”

Amity scrunches her nose, “My brain is not a hard drive Luz.” Then she smiles, “But I’d like that.”

Luz excitedly pulls Amity close. She can talk about stars for hours.

“Okay you see those three stars in a line, that’s Orion, that’s the most recognisable constellation so you can use it as a starting point…” She splays her fingers outward to the sky, tracing the stars with her fingertips, “Right above it to the right, the one that looks like a funny man with a pointy hat, that’s Perseus.”

“Like gorgon slaying, sailed in a box, Perseus?”

“Yeah, that guy.”

Amity unsuccessfully holds back a giggle, “Did you just call the Perseus constellation a ‘funny guy with a pointy hat’?”

Her cheeks bloom red. “I mean look at him! Tell me I’m wrong.” Luz exasperates, “Also, I said funny man not guy.”

“Hmmm you have a point.” Amity hums, leaning her body closer into Luz’s. She points to a random star. “So, what’s that one called?”

Luz goes into a tangent about all the different constellations. She gathers all the bits and pieces of information she can remember about Greek and Roman mythology and tells Amity the stories of each constellation with enough seriousness laced in her tone that it sounds like reality. All while Amity contentedly listens, staring at her as if Luz hung up the stars herself.

“You sure know your stars, Luz.” She curls further into her side. “Lucy in the sky of diamonds.” Amity half-amusedly muses.

Staring into the sky, a faded memory crawls into her mind. Small fires, messily drawn up tents, and a smile worth a million hearths. A sliver of pain threads itself in her throat, suspended there.

 Luz finds her mouth moving on its own volition before her mind can even catch up, “My dad used to take me camping in our backyard, he would show me all the stars and tell me stories about them.”

The moment the words leave her lips, the memory becomes more vivid. Long nights huddled beneath a shoddy tent as owls hooted in the trees, thousands of stars shimmering above them. The way her tiny body clutched onto her father’s larger frame, her small hands grasping the air as she carelessly giggled. Her father’s hearty laugh that could satiate even the emptiest souls, filling like freshly baked bread. It all washes over her like a tidal wave – suddenly and mercilessly.

Luz must’ve been frowning because Amity gives her look that she knows all too well.

Pity – maybe.

It’s no secret that her dad died, she’s mentioned it once or twice passively in conversation, but also, they live in a small town, and word travels quickly. It’s hard to shake off the reputation of being the new kid in town who’s dad died within a year of moving.

“Do you miss him?” Amity asks her cautiously.

That question is also one she’s heard repeatedly.

She has an automated answer that she tells everyone – ‘I miss him every day of my life!’ or ‘Of course I do, he’s my dad!’ – but for some odd reason she can’t find herself telling Amity a half-hearted answer like that.

Luz doesn’t understand but she finds herself talking, even though she doesn’t want to. On top of that, she finds herself answering honestly.

“Mhm, it’s hard not to, but… it’s been awhile so it’s kinda dulled.” Amity curiously cocks her head to the side. Luz panickily corrects herself, “Like of course I miss him, but it’s been years. I feel guilty about it sometimes, the more I grow up, the more it feels like I’m leaving him behind.” She shakes her head, suddenly feeling dumb. She can’t believe she said that to her like some sad loser. Like we get it, your dad’s dead! “I’m sorry for blurting that out. It’s silly right?”

“Don’t be sorry, I asked. And it’s not silly, at least to me it isn’t.”

“Thanks.” Luz smiles sadly. She sighs, “I try to keep his memory alive; it makes things easier. How exactly? I don’t know yet…”

Amity thinks for a second, her eyebrows furrowing the same way they do when she studies. “You know they say you keep people alive with their stories, it’s like their legacy… So… tell me a story about your dad.”

Luz pauses for a second, actually considering Amity’s words. Where to begin? Her dad was a man made of stories – he could make a riveting tale about a tea kettle on the whim. Not only that, but she also has all their times together and those memories to consider as well. There are so many things she can tell Amity about the great Manny Noceda, so many that her mind is currently drawing a blank.

Then she looks up and sees Jupiter glowing distantly. The perfect story pops into her mind, the memory burning vividly as if she’s reliving it.

So she starts speaking, “He used to tell me that if you listen closely, you can hear the planets sing. I mean, there’s articles about frequencies and all that now, but he obviously didn’t mean it like that. No, back then, when he told me it was like he expected the moon to sing Frank Sinatra or something.”

“Why don’t we try to hear them now?” Amity suggests, no trace of humour in her voice.

Luz quirks an eyebrow, “Huh?”

“I bet if we’re real quiet we can hear them sing.”

Oh.

Luz’s features soften, her voice barely above a whisper, “Amity, you don’t have to-”

“Shhh.” Amity interrupts, her hand clutching onto her shoulder.

“Amity-”

“Hush. Listen to the planets with me.”

After a moment of considering her options, Luz finally obliges. They stand in the middle of the road, still like ghosts, holding onto one another as they listen to the heavens. It’s impossibly quiet, not even the wind whistles by and not a single tree shuffles. It would be eerie in any other situation but standing next to Amity – Luz thinks she’s going to be okay.

She concentrates on the bright dots in the sky until they become blurry, wavering like ripples in the water.

Suddenly she feels really childish listening to the planets. Luz clutches onto her jacket, super aware of all the cells in her body. There’s a warm pressure on her hand, steadying her.

Amity leans closer, the silence becoming nought with her pounding heart roaring in her ears.

Maybe if she looks harder the planets will sing.

Anything seems possible with Amity.

It’s that little kind of magic – faith, hope.

For a moment she feels like she can actually hear something.

There’s a slight hum, its airy and clear as a bell. It shifts from a single note to a series of different notes that endlessly pour into one another.

Wait a minute that sounds familiar.

Luz swivels her head around, nearly hitting Amity’s nose with her jaw.

 A small smile graces Amity’s lips as she hums an all too familiar tune that Luz’s has heard before.  

That’s when it all suddenly clicks.

She’s humming fucking Frank Sinatra’s ‘Fly me to the moon’.

Luz laughs, a real genuine laugh.

She finds herself saying something that Amity always says to her, but she never thought of herself saying back.

“You’re such a dork!” She says between laughs, lightly shoving Amity away. A smile settles on her lips, warmth seeping deep into her bones. She stares at Amity with adoration, absorbing all her sweetness. Luz pauses for a second and then whispers softly, “Thank you.”

Amity beams, “I learned from the best.” She stretches upwards and kisses Luz’s cheek, “Let me cheer you up sometimes yeah?”

Chapter Text

Overplayed Christmas songs blare through the tinny supermarket speakers as Luz rolls their shopping cart into the next aisle. Bright yellow signs swing above her head each reading various bargain deals like ‘Buy one get one free!’ or ‘Great deals!’. The wheels of the cart squeak alongside her dragging footsteps, cruising jaggedly across the cream speckled supermarket floor. She absentmindedly hums along to the tune while her mother stands in front of the endless shelves of cereal. Rows of red, yellow and blues line the white shelves with different cartoon animal mascots on each one.

Camila furrows her brows pensively, “Luz, mija, que cereal quieres?”

The Noceda bimonthly shopping trip is not something that Luz usually looks forward to.

Who really does?

Nobody in actuality jumps with joy at the prospect of grocery shopping with their mom. That’s silly. An hour or two parading around roughly forty-thousand square feet of long aisles of produce and cleaning products all while some tedious tune blares out of barely functioning speakers. That is literally nobody’s idea of fun.

And while Luz is not jumping for joy, she does appreciate this quiet moment with Camila. Sure, she’s bored out of her mind trudging behind her mom with the shopping cart, her heavy footsteps are almost zombie-like, but it’s a chance to spend time with her mom, even if it’s just a handful of hours every other week. Luz treasures her moments with Camila, especially now that they’re fleeting.

Luz slows the cart to a stop and parks herself next to her mother. “I don’t know, maybe Cookie Crisp? We haven’t had that one in a while.”

Camila takes a moment to think, her eyebrows knitting themselves together as her eyes scan the price tag. Her eyes wander to the next aisle of cereal where all the off-brand cereals lay. She pulls out a blue box with a brown coyote on the cover, replacing the more familiar grey wolf, “How about Kookie Krunch this time?”

Luz shrugs, “All taste the same to me Mami, entonces cualquiera.”

Camila takes the box off the shelf and tosses it into the cart before glancing down at her checklist. She mutters a string of numbers under her breath, quickly counting up the total. A small frown crosses her face, but she shakes it off a moment later. “Let’s get the eggs and milk, then we’ll head to the counter.”

Luz nods and follows her mom through the aisles.

On their way to the dairy sections, a pretty purple box catches her eye. Inspecting it briefly, she quickly concludes that it’s something Amity would like, the swift swirls of lilac instantly reminding her of the wisps of Amity’s hair.

She finds herself doing that a lot recently. Seeing random things and thinking about her girlfriend. Just the other day she saw a video of two scorpions dancing and excitedly sent it to her, captioning it with a simple: ‘us :)’.

It’s gotten worse over the past weekend, especially due to the fact that Amity is currently a couple states over in Cambridge, Massachusetts, her parents having taken her to scope out Harvard and the surrounding area.

‘Parents.’ They both laughed about over the phone one night, talking for hours on end about how stressful their respective parents have been about university. Long strung-out conversations about different things their parents did, the little things like the scrunch of a nose in disdain or the high-pitched whines when the dishes weren’t done. The things they had in common. She could listen to Amity speak forever if she was given the chance. Her laughter is always distant over the phone, and it just builds up how much Luz misses her.

Luz decides that she is positively Amity deficient.

They gather the remaining items from the list and make their way to the checkout. Camila loads the groceries onto the conveyer belt, watching as the bored cashier with heavy eyeliner scans each one, loading them onto the end for the bag boy. Her eyes flicker between the moving groceries and the ever-increasing total, her movement becoming frantic the higher it goes.

“That’ll be $180.64 ma’am.” The bored cashier says in a straight monotone, a piece of pink gum blowing into a bubble.

“Is that with all the coupons?”

The bubble bursts with a satisfying ‘pop’, “Yep.”

Camila tenses briefly, she attempts a polite smile as she fumbles through her wallet. “The prices really have gone up, haven’t they?” she says through a nervous laugh.

“It’s the inflation.” The cashier responds casually as if she’s heard that statement a thousand times just that hour- which she probably has.

Pressing her lips together, Camila pulls out a card and swipes it across the reader.

The cashier looks at the reader expectantly, waiting for the approval. She sighs, “Sorry, your payment didn’t go through. Try again maybe.”

“I thought I put money on that card.” She mumbles under her breath, searching through her purse, “Give me a moment, I think I have another coupon. If not, you can start to unload some things.”

Crumpled up receipts fly from her purse, landing unceremoniously on the loading bay. Luz scrunches her nose as she watches her mother struggle to find extra coupons. The cashier continues to look at them and a small line had begun to gather behind them. There’s a particular old lady that’s glaring at them to hurry up, her knuckles white around her cane. Luz thinks that if they don’t hurry up, the geriatric hag will either die on the spot or hit them with her cane – Luz hasn’t decided what’s worse yet. It’s like their dancing on the cogs of a clock, narrowly missing being squashed by the turning mechanisms. Briefly glancing at Camila, Luz pulls out her own wallet and takes out a few bills and hands it to the cashier.

“This should cover it.”

“Luz.” Camila hisses lowly, throwing a pointed look in her direction.

Luz shrugs her off and offers a small smile, “I got it Mami, don’t worry.”

The cashier takes only seconds to ring them up, handing Luz her change alongside their receipt. Throughout the entire exchange, Camila purses her lips, clearly unhappy with Luz.

Once they pass the sliding glass doors, Camila clicks her tongue, “You didn’t have to do that.” She chastises, “I had it covered.”

Without missing a beat, Luz responds, “Well I wanted to. I have a bunch of money saved from The Owl House, so it’s no big deal.”

“That’s not the point Mija.” She pinches her brow, massaging the bridge with her forefinger and thumb.

“Then what is?”

Camila sighs, “I had it covered.”

“Lots of kids help out their parents with the groceries.” Luz exasperates, beginning to load the bags into the car.

“I know that.”

She slams the boot shut. “So, what’s the problem?”

“I had it covered.” She just repeats.

Luz groans. Her mother is so stubborn when she wants to be.

♡︎

“Okay Luz, despacio, despacio. Ya un poco mas. Despues de tres levantalo. Uno. Dos y – Tres.” Camila heaves the large red box upwards. A small hiss of a curse word escapes her lips when the box slips through her fingers, landing squarely on her foot. “Ay Coño!”

“Language Mai!” Luz chuckles cheekily.

“Por Dios.”

“I know, I know.” She says placatingly, still laughing between her words. The basement stairs creak beneath her feet as she slightly wobbles, trying her best to balance the weight of the box. She’s a little out of practice but Eda’s long inventory unboxing days sure do help with the heavy lifting.

Camila readjusts herself at the top of the stairs, lifting the box up once more. “Ya, otra vez.”

After minutes of fumbling out the basement, they finally heave the box into the living room.

“You unbox that while I get the decorations out.” Camila commands, already starting her trip down the basement.

Luz flops down onto the floor and begins to fiddle with the old Sellotape around the box seams that have been opened and sealed countless times in the past. The box is tattered and worn, the original red lamination beginning to peal, revealing the natural brown beneath it. There used to be a picture on the front, but that too had faded. In one swoop she rips off the tape, scrunching it up into a ball and tossing it to the side.

Inside she sees the familiar mess of green plastic and the faint fake sent of pine. She smiles to herself as she starts to assemble the faux tree, right by the window where everyone can see. Its one of her favourite traditions between her and her mom. The moment late November rolls in and Christmas cheer is waft in the air, they take out their plastic tree out of the basement, dedicating a whole afternoon to assembling and decorating it.

They’ve been doing it together for as long as she can remember. It’s their thing.

While Luz hooks on the remaining artificial branches, Camila walks in with the heavy decorations, slightly panting as the plastic boxes strain against her arms. Seeing this, Luz quickly attaches the last branch and rushes towards Camila to help her out.

A few moments later all the ornaments are sprawled across the living room floor, ready to be hung. In a silent agreement they both begin working on their respective sections of the tree, with Camila focusing on the bottom of the tree while Luz focuses on the top.

The artificial tree is an old one, it has been with them ever since Luz was three. It followed them from every house they moved to, from New Haven to Vernon to now Gravesfield. The branches are no longer as full as the used to be, over the years the plastic pine needles have shed, leaving some areas gruesomely bare. Some parts of the tree are pathetically skinny and worn, but even after all this time they can not bare to part with it. It is somewhat as much as family as they are to each other.

Camila delicately hangs some glass ornaments that she brought from the Dominican Republic. They belonged to Luz’s tatara abuela and are possibly one of the most expensive things they have ever owned. They are expertly crafted, depicting beautiful angels with cherub faces. Their halos and wings are gilded in pure gold. Camila deeply cherishes them, those angels being one of the only things she brought from home.

Christmas has always been one of Camila’s favourite times of the year. Enchanted by the lights and pretty decorations, Camila had always said “People are always a little kinder this time of year.” Maybe she believes that way because subconsciously she herself is a little kinder (though that is almost impossible considering how fiercely kind Camila is already), but she sticks to the idea, nonetheless. As a little girl she was raised catholic by her parents, and even to this day she carries a little bit of those teachings and that faith into their everyday lives even though she decided not raise Luz religious.

It surrounds aspects of her life, – her abuelas still cross her forehead before she leaves the house, telling her that “que Dios te bendiga”. Sure, Luz had the respective ceremonies, mainly to appease her grandparents, even though her mother assured her that she didn’t have to. She can still remember her holy communion when she was 8, all her family members coming round her house, bringing mountains of food, hours, and hours of dancing. Even her quinces started with a mass. It’s just always there even if just casually. Ultimately, she always connects religion to her family. When her dad died it was an elderly Latino couple from her mother’s church that helped them out before they too eventually passed. Luz understands that in some way that Catholicism has been an important part of Latinidad, it has been a place where generations of Latinos have built community, especially in the US. But on a personal level she’s never really felt connected to all that. She respects the hell out of it, especially seeing how it’s helped her Mami with grief, but she’s decided a long time ago that it’s not for her (even though she still finds herself reflexively crossing her head and chest from time to time).

Luz drapes the last rope of tinsel around the tree before taking a step back to admire their work. The tree has always been a little mismatch but honestly that’s what Luz loves about it. She hates the picturesque Christmas trees that are neatly colour coordinated, they are always so lifeless missing any kind of excitement or joy. She especially hates the white Christmas trees with gold monochrome decorations – they’re just so ugly! Instead, she prefers her own tree, with its discordant decorations, arraying from expensive glass angels to makeshift art projects she made in elementary school and everything in between. She loves the burst of colour, the way there is no distinct pattern, unpredictable and so homely. All the ornaments are a time capsule of the Noceda family, a collection of things over the years.

Camila finishes setting up the Nativity set, notably leaving the little baby Jesus away from the scene. She pulls something out of her pocket and hands it over to Luz, the tiny object is slightly weighty atop her palm.

“You forgot one.” Camila says laughing, pressing the ugly thing into her hand. Luz looks at it and joins her mother’s laughter. It’s a weird looking thing that Luz made out of clay and paint in the second grade. Her younger self had insisted that it was a reindeer but in hindsight Luz thinks that the only way it even remotely resembles a reindeer is if it is roadkill. Perhaps the only element that serves as younger Luz’s saving grace is the crude red nose she hastily painted on, the only indicator that it can even possibly be Rudolph.

“It’s a Salvador Dali,” Luz exclaims exaggeratingly, dramatically hanging the ugly thing near the top for everyone to see. “Surrealism Mai.”

Camila snorts. She ruffles Luz’s hair while playfully shoving her into the tree.

“Ayudame con las luces, Luz.” Camila says, beginning to unwrap the mess that is the Christmas lights.

“Ha, ha. Luces, Luz.” She says dryly with a smile.

After what felt like days of work, they finally stand in front of their tree, marvelling at their teamwork. Something about it looks empty – incomplete. Luz curls an arm around Camila, pulling her close.

“We did good Mami.” She whispers into her hair.

“Me acuerdo de ti cuando eras chica. You would get so excited that you couldn’t stop screaming and jumping.” Camila reminisces nostalgically, sniffling to hold back her tears. “I would hold you up in my arms because you were too small to reach the top. Siempre quierias poner el ángel.” Her eyes light up as she blinks away the tears. Luz owlishly looks at her. “That reminds me.”

Camila brings out a medium sized velvet box and everything clicks into place.

“El ángel” Luz breathes out with a smile.

She curls her fingers around the box and pulls out pièce de resistance. The angel has a pretty, tan, porcelain face, her two cheeks are rosily dusted. Her figure is draped in lace and white velvet, so innocently heavenly. Luz breathes in as she places the angel at the apex of the tree, noticing offhandedly that she only needs to go on her tiptoes now to reach the top of the 6’5ft tree.

Though, she is not the only one that realises. “Ay, como has crecido.” Camila says, her voice strained. “You’re so big.” She repeats in English to emphasise herself. “Ahora ya no me necesitas para levantarte. I don’t think that I even can.” She stares at her hands as if only realising that they are no longer big enough to hold her.

Luz playfully lifts her leg into her mother’s arms, “You can still try.” She says jokingly, trying to ease the tension. Camila manages a weepy chuckle. Luz wipes a tear away, “Hey, hey, hey, I’m still here okay.” She places a soft kiss on her mom’s forehead.

“Ya se, ya se. It’s just… You’re growing up so fast. And soon you’ll be going away, and I can’t keep you here forever. Ya no eres mi bebe.”

Luz wraps her arms around her, “I will always be your baby, even if I’m like 7ft tall with rippling muscles.” She reassures. Camila laughs into her shoulder. “I am always going to be around. No matter what.”

Camila pulls away with a tearful smile. She wistfully gazes at the tree and sighs. “Maybe you could pass the tradition one day, do it with your own kids.” She hums knowingly.

Luz’s cheeks bloom red, “Mami!”