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Wonwoo collapsed on his bed, groaning; mentally and physically exhausted after just finishing his exams. Following behind him was Seungkwan, his roommate, chuckling as he made his way to their table and placed the bag of his favorite pudding on it.
“Are exams for art students that hard?” He teased which earned him a low gruntle from the older. “Puddin’, don't ever mention that again.”
Seungkwan just chuckled and started eating the pudding, the dessert that Wonwoo named him after.
On the other hand, Wonwoo was watching him from his bed and smiling every time Seungkwan made little happy noises after every bite.
He felt a tug in his chest and it took great strength to stop himself from standing up and kissing his roommate until they both end up breathless.
Puddin’.
What a cute nickname that is.
He can still vividly remember why he started calling the younger “Puddin’”. It's just that Seungkwan acted as if he cannot breathe whenever he missed a day without eating the said dessert and he once cried when he found out that Wonwoo had eaten the pudding in their refrigerator. The older one had to rush to the nearest convenience store to buy him one. The nickname inevitably attracted questions like “are you guys dating?” Wonwoo just shook his head to answer it everytime. Nevertheless, the nickname has stuck with them… and Seungkwan doesn't seem to mind it, too.
Wonwoo can only smile at the memory.
“Wonu…” Seungkwan called out to him with a pout on his face as he walked closer, a bottle of water still in his hand. “Can we cuddle?”
Seungkwan no longer needed a verbal answer as Wonwoo opened his arms; the younger one immediately found his place in them.
“Tired?”
Seungkwan nodded.
“And here I thought I was the one complaining about painting.”
Seungkwan whined and lightly hit him in the chest.
“Shut it.”
Seungkwan pouted even more and Wonwoo can only think of one thing.
God, I love him.
Truth was, he always has. Ever since Seungkwan went through that door on his first day at the university, he knew that one day he’ll ask for his hand in marriage. As cliché as it sounded, Wonwoo was down bad for Seungkwan. His roommate with the most flawless rosy pink cheeks and eyes that shone brighter than the stars; only a fool would not fall in love with Boo Seungkwan.
He gave him a chuckle before pulling him closer, basically wrapping him in a tight hug. Seungkwan gladly obliges—scooting down and resting his head on the taller one's arm, making it his pillow.
In a few minutes of tranquility, he was already lightly snoring in his arms.
Wonwoo glanced down, his fingers tracing Seungkwan’s features with a feathery touch. Enough for him to feel him; not enough to awaken him.
His heart was beating relentlessly in his chest.
How can it not? One-sided pining is painful. Especially when the other have considered you their best friend-slash-roommate for the past four years.
In the past years of living under the same roof, Seungkwan has gone home with tired eyes and a broken heart at least twice. Wonwoo was the one who shouldered those endless tears and quiet sobs, keeping him close to his chest as he lulled the smaller man to sleep.
Wonwoo closed his eyes as he recalled the very thing that haunted him and hugged Seungkwan tighter.
Was it hard?
It was.
Still is.
Especially when he can easily hold him like this.
Such a marvelous thing it is—Love. Beautiful yet painful. Sweet yet bitter. Melancholic yet still making the heart blossom like cherry blossoms in spring.
And right now, Wonwoo’s heart yearned for Seungkwan.
—
Seungkwan opened the door with a bang; dropped his bag on the floor and tossed his exam papers in the air.
“Fucking finally! I have passed my Theater Arts exam!”
Wonwoo, who was sitting across the table with his newly finished watercolor artwork, jumped up from his seat and almost spilled the coffee.
“Could you not do that again, please?”
Nonetheless, he chuckled and placed the coffee away before grabbing his hair blower to dry his work quicker.
Seungkwan threw his arm around him, resting his chin on top of his head.
“How’s it going?”
Wonwoo groaned.
“Horrible. I just finished this piece and now I'm already starting to think of new character designs for next year before Christmas break comes.”
“You're too workaholic.”
“Maybe I am.”
“You say that like it's a good thing,” Seungkwan complained as he lets go of the hug. “Come with me.”
Wonwoo had no choice but to stand up when Seungkwan started dragging him out of their room and to a nearby karaoke room.
Seungkwan can sing, Wonwoo knows that much. What he didn't expect was the theater student bellowing out Celine Dion's notes like he was eating CDs for breakfast. And while the singer was belting out notes effortlessly, the art student opted for songs that suited his vocal cords better—pressing the buttons for I’m In Love With You by The 1975.
Wonwoo stood up and offered his hand to Seungkwan, “Sing with me.”
Seungkwan grabbed the other mic once again and took Wonwoo’s hand in his own, standing up to mirror the taller one’s antics.
He wanted to stop time. He wanted whatever this is right now. Seungkwan in his hand, dancing and singing their hearts out without a single worry, having fun—just the two of them in their own little world, but like all wishes in the world, it came to an abrupt end.
“How come we’ve never done this before?” The theater kid asked as they beeline toward the door.
“Because, I think, you never asked,” Wonwoo answered with a chuckle, holding the door open for him.
Seungkwan dramatically groaned.
“Touché. We should do this mo— Mingyu, hi.”
Wonwoo's eyebrows met in the middle and turned his head to the now-opened door. Lo and behold, it's the film student, Kim Mingyu. Seungkwan’s ex.
“Oh, Seungkwan, hi!” He greeted them with a smile, his canine teeth showing up. Behind him was a tall, skinny male with a fluffy black mullet.
“You guys reserved the room?” He heard Seungkwan ask while they walked out of the room.
“Yes, we did. Nice seeing you again, Boo.” Mingyu commented as he ushered his boyfriend inside.
Wonwoo’s jaw clenched at the statement.
Kim Mingyu. Seungkwan’s first heartbreak in their first year of living together. The blonde always says that they had a clean breakup, but that doesn't change the fact that Wonwoo was the one catching the tears that wouldn't stop falling down his cheeks. It doesn't change the fact that Seungkwan quietly sobbed every night for weeks because he felt that he was also becoming a burden to his roommate. It doesn't change the fact that Mingyu hurt him by falling in love with someone else while they were still together.
Wonwoo woke up out of his trance when Seungkwan snapped his fingers in front of him. “Hey, you okay?” The blonde asks.
Wonwoo blinked.
“Am I okay? Are you okay?” He threw the question back to him.
“Of course, I am. Why is your jaw all clenched up?” Seungkwan asked, grabbing his jaw.
Wonwoo was taken aback by his actions and momentarily froze on his spot before holding himself together. “I'm okay, I swear. Are you not bothered that we just ran into your ex just now?” He lightly slapped the blonde’s hand away.
Seungkwan's eyebrow shot upward as he gave him his answer, “What, no.”
That's weird.
Wonwoo found it weird.
Seungkwan is no longer bothered meeting his ex. Good for him?
Wonwoo still found it weird.
A year ago, Seungkwan would bow his head down to hide the fact that he teared up just by taking a glance at Mingyu.
“And besides,” he paused, smiling widely at Wonwoo before continuing, “I’m in love with somebody else now.”
And just like that, Wonwoo's heart sank once again.
“Really?” He feigned happiness with a smile like he always does everytime Seungkwan said this. “Good for you, then.”
The theater kid gave him a hearty laugh and grabbed his hand, “Let’s go home, Wonu.”
Wonwoo’s chest just got tighter.
—
“Are you kidding me?” Wonwoo whispered under his breath.
Beside him was Seungkwan who was astonished as he was. “That is one heck of a rain.”
Worse, they couldn't hail a cab because both of them didn't have their phones with them.
“I thought you brought your phone so I didn't bring mine.”
Wonwoo could only sigh deeply. He squatted down with a pout on his face, not noticing that the blonde’s hand was still holding his.
“You know what I think?” Seungkwan grinned mischievously at him.
“That we should have brought our phones and an umbrella?” He answered with a groan.
Seungkwan gave him a low, almost scary laugh while sporting the same grinning face as earlier.
“No… I'm thinking that we should do... THIS!”
With that, the blonde pulled Wonwoo up, the taller one almost stumbling from springing from an awkward position to a sudden run in the rain. One second after going out of the shelter and they were both already soaking wet.
“Seungkwan!” Wonwoo scolded, yet falling into deaf ears as Seungkwan continued to run, laughing wholeheartedly.
He didn't know whether to be thankful or not that they both left their phones back in their dorm.
The nearby open karaoke place was blasting It's Not Living If It's Not With You by The 1975.
Corny as it sounds, Wonwoo felt like they were in a music video. With them running through the rain with hands intertwined and Seungkwan's laugh overpowering the sound of raindrops falling… Wonwoo couldn't be more in love.
Without thinking about it much, he halted—pulling Seungkwan closer to him and swung along the song, dancing in what seemed like hurricane rain without giving a single damn about the world. The blonde smiled wider, twirling himself under Wonwoo’s arm.
Wonwoo found himself in another scene where he just wanted time to stop. His heart ached in its cage as he caught Seungkwan when he almost slipped doing that dance move.
Seungkwan’s smile glowed under the artificial light, the raindrops around them sparkling like glitter, the sound of his laughter echoing in his ears—muting the sound of the rain that was hitting them. Something snapped inside Wonwoo and he didn’t want anything more in the world than to kiss him then and there—under the rain, under the streetlights.
So, he did.
His eyes fluttered close, the hand around Seungkwan’s hip tightened its hold as he captured his lips with his own and he felt him stiffen for a mere second. Remembering about the blonde telling him that he was already in love, Wonwoo knew that he made a mistake. The taller one was about to pull away when two arms wrapped around his neck and gently pulled him closer while also feeling the blonde’s lips curve into a small smile. Wonwoo chuckled in a hushed tone and hugged him tighter, one hand behind his nape to support him as their lips slotted onto each other.
Seungkwan’s lips felt tender against Wonwoo’s. He tasted of the spicy buffalo wings that they ate back at the karaoke place. It was addicting. Oh, so addicting that he couldn’t help but bite down on it which caused the younger to gasp, letting out a soft moan.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit, indeed.
Wonwoo was the first to pull away. With their arms still wrapped around their bodies, they both stared at each other. The rain felt cold against his skin and yet he felt warm in Seungkwan’s hold. It felt like a dream. The kiss felt like a dream but there's a reality that Wonwoo has to face. The reality that he kissed his best friend even after that one certain information he received.
“We should go home,” he suggested, placing Seungkwan back on his feet. The blonde nodded in agreement.
—
The walk home was quiet. Despite both of them having their lips on each other, it was not an awkward walk. Cold, yes. But not awkward.
Just… quiet.
Though, he couldn't say the same when they arrived in their room.
Upon stepping inside, Wonwoo felt the atmosphere grow heavy. He knew that Seungkwan felt it too.
With their source of light only being the dim light of his desk lamp that he forgot to plug out and the muted sound of the rain, the air around them grew heavier as every second of tranquillity passed by.
Wonwoo reached his hand out to Seungkwan—the very tips of his fingers felt like it sent millions of volts of electricity throughout his body. He heard the blonde gasping out the same way he did.
He looked at their hands—slowly traveling up until he was locking eyes with the other.
Nobody knew who went in first nor who reciprocated, but they found themselves in each other's arms once again. Their lips on each other's, tongue pirouetting—hungrily tasting each other.
One by one, the clothes went off and the next thing they knew, they were under the blankets sharing their warmth and whispering their moans, profanities, and their names in their ears; Seungkwan’s legs placed on both his sides—nails digging deep in his back as Wonwoo plunged himself deeper.
Wonwoo reached his climax inside; Seungkwan reached his own between their torsos—the warm, white, sticky fluid making a mess on both their bodies. The tall one drops on top of him—sweaty and panting.
Wonwoo caressed his cheek as Seungkwan also rode his high.
It was wrong.
Wonwoo knew it was wrong, but God, did it feel so right to hold Seungkwan like that.
His hot hand seared onto his skin, contrasting the cold that surrounded them. It felt so right when Seungkwan was underneath him, asking for more. It felt so right when he was moaning his name in his ear. It felt right when he was marking his back with his nails.
Everything felt so right.
And all it did was make Wonwoo hurt more.
“Are you okay?”
Seungkwan held the hand that was on his cheek and smiled sweetly, nodding.
“Is this a bad time to say this?” Seungkwan whispered.
“A bad time to say what?” he whispered back.
“To tell you that I love you.”
Wonwoo blinked once.
Twice.
“Say that again?”
Seungkwan giggled and cupped his cheeks, “I love you, Jeon Wonwoo.”
So, when he said he's in love he was referring to— oh.
Wonwoo gently dropped his head, resting his forehead on Seungkwan’s as he softly laughed at himself.
What an idiot. I'm such an idiot.
“I hate you,” he answered.
The blonde's eyes widened at the sudden hate confession, but almost immediately turned into a soft gaze as he realized what he meant and gave him a peck on his lips.
“You don't have to say it… I know. I’ve always known.” Seungkwan whispered.
Wonwoo gently pulled back, but still close enough that the tip of their noses still touched.
“You knew?”
Seungkwan nodded, “I'm not blind, Wonwoo. And I'm sorry that it took me so long to tell you that I feel the same. I couldn't gather enough courage until you kissed me.”
Wonwoo wanted to cry. Years of what he thought was unexpected pining turned out to be reciprocated all along… and he was blind enough not to see it.
Leaning down, Wonwoo recaptured Seungkwan’s lips in a gentle kiss, “God, I love you… so much.”
“I know. I love you, too.”
The next morning, Wonwoo woke up with Seungkwan in his arms just like always. Only this time, he can fearlessly give him a forehead kiss and a sweet good morning.