Archive of Our Own

The face of Jaemin is pained as he listens to his best friend's rant.

Or, 'master plan', as Donghyuck dubbed it.

"I'm going to do it," he concludes with an enormous grin on his face. "I'm going to make Renjun fall in love with me. Whatever it takes."

Jaemin sighs, flat palms held against another as he sighs again, pointing his joined hands at the one he has the misfortune to call his best friend.

"You," he begins, slowly, "are out of your goddamn mind."

"Uh, out of my mind for Renjun, yes," Donghyuck only retorts. The radiant happiness on his face would normally be such a relief and a sight to behold, considering the tough phase he's been going through, but Jaemin does begin to feel regret.

"Please," he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Please, just - shut up for a moment."

"So you also think this is going to work perfectly well?" Donghyuck gleams with joy.

Truth be told, it's unusual for Jaemin to be the rational one out of the two, but he figures this is about Renjun, so he can't really say he hasn't seen it coming. He just never thought Donghyuck would actually get back to it after smoothly ignoring their synchronised heartbeats for what must have been twenty years, counting.

"No," Jaemin says dryly.

"Excellent," the other only grins in return. "I'm going to do it - starting Monday, I'll woo him like he hasn't been wooed before!"

Donghyuck throws a fist of victory into the air and it makes Jaemin's smile even more pained. But underneath it, to be honest … he can't help but to look forward to it, too. He's finally moving, huh?

When Jaemin comes home later that day, he sends a quick message before tossing his phone into a corner, ignoring the notifications that blow up soon after.

Oh, those two, really …

—

The non-existent encouragement of Jaemin is, in fact, the last ledge Donghyuck needed to pull in order to commit to the plan. Is it ridiculous? Maybe. Is it stupid? Possibly. Is he still going to do it?

Absolutely.

He's been smiling on the whole way back from the small get-together with his best friend; his steps are light even on the following day, on a dreaded Monday, as he thinks about seeing their mutual friend and his on-off crush-of-a-sort, Renjun, again so soon.

To be honest, they haven't seen each other frequently for the last five years or so - after graduation hit and they all went separate ways to each pursue their dreams, only Jaemin stuck by his side as they've been the only two deciding to stay in this town. All of them kept in touch, of course, but it's bound to be difficult with all of them spread apart, going on which each their lives. They went through quiet phases and phases where they blew up each other's notifications for hours.

Not everyone could make it to every get-together and things were coming to a standstill every once in a while, but … somehow, they all found their way back. One after another - and the thought alone still makes Donghyuck smile as he walks out to the familiar streets that he can recall with his eyes closed.

The way to the university is familiar, too, though it does feel a bit odd to enter the building without being a student nor because his work as librarian made it necessary to work with the university, though the purpose almost strikes familiar.

He has to ask around until he finds the way to Renjun's office, a sigh audible from the open door and it widens his smile, no less. Just the thought of him being near again is comforting, warming him from the inside.

A cheeky grin on his face, Donghyuck leans against the open door, knocking on the wood. It startles Renjun, flinching up as a hand goes to grip his chest - but when he notices the familiar figure in the doorframe, he only rolls his eyes, readjusting the reading glasses on his face as he gestures Donghyuck in.

"Gosh, didn't expect you to show up," Renjun says in lieu of a greeting, voice scolding, but the smile that appears on his face is betraying his words.

Donghyuck wiggles his eyebrows as he closes the door behind him, taking a seat across the table full of paper and books, opened at varying pages, Renjun's keyboard nearly drowned out under them.

"What can I say? I'm but of many surprises," he laughs out loud.

He just knows that Renjun wants to be annoyed at him, but the small curl-up of his lips isn't good at conveying it. Nor the way his shoulders relax visibly as he stretches.

"Are you just here to annoy me? Because-" There is a tired tone in Renjun's voice; as much as they talk normally now, he knows the older must be on edge. Donghyuck is plenty aware that he's treading a thin line here, with how much in disarray the entire office looks like.

With how books, binders and folders are stacked on the floor, emptied from the shelves, it's no wonder it seems like the other inhabitant of the office has fled the scene for the meanwhile - not to mention the dark circles underneath the glasses Renjun wears.

"No, I'm offering my help," Donghyuck thus says more gently, gesturing to the books on the ground. "You're done with those, right? Want me to put them back?"

Renjun looks at him startled. "Wha- you don't have to-"

"Shhh," Donghyuck only snickers out loud. "I was curious if you changed after graduation, but seems like even as junior professor, you're still a mess when deadlines are approaching. I don't mind, really."

"Growing up is such a scam," the other only retorts with a sigh.

"Sure is," Donghyuck laughs.

Uncertainty is evident in the older's eyes - but Donghyuck tries to exude the most reassurance that he can. He made it all the way to his office, after all.

"Well … if it's really not too much to ask for … I keep-"

"-bumping your legs? Yeah, I wondered about that, too."

"I begin to regret this," Renjun rolls his eyes, but there is the foundation of a smile on his face however as he tries to wave Donghyuck away. But, unfortunate for him, he did come here to help out, and helping out he will.

It's the first step of his masterplan, after all.

"Left shelf for binders and folders, middle shelf for monographies and such and right shelf for your critical editions and all?" Donghyuck hums in question, turning to the other.

Renjun faces him with a tired but gentle smile. If the afternoon light flowing in through the windows wouldn't be of such a warm tone, Donghyuck might have guessed that there is a red hue on his cheeks.

"You still know me so well," Renjun says, a soft touch to his voice.

It doesn't help Donghyuck's lightly quickened heartbeat, rapidly gaining in speed as he tries to laugh over the momentary surprise. "Well, just means in this case, you're still the same Renjun I've got to know," he says, winking.

The Renjun I fell in love with.

Though, truth be told, he might find something to love in any version that Renjun present himself as, as long as he feels the comfort that he feels when he's with him.

Humming quietly to himself, he begins to sort out the chaos on the floor, nearly dropping a heavy handbook when he hears the faint humming coming from the other, intertwining so seamlessly with the melody that's been on his mind.

It makes him smile - hum a little louder, as his heart beats so steadily, feeling utterly grounded in this menial task.

But, it's familiar and that's all that matters.

Perhaps, he finally came home.

—

Tracing back, it's Chenle who first moves back into their quaint little town where all seven of them met for the first time, and it was blessing and a curse alike. Somewhen later, homesickness brought back Jeno - and Mark dropped in a year or so after, cheesily claiming that even after seeing so much of the world within such a short time, nothing compares to being together.

Jisung is a bit of a strange case because he has to switch his workplaces so often and Donghyuck certainly doesn't envy the other - but, he looks happy doing what he loves, so he can't find it in himself to pity him too much.

And then … Renjun.

The ever-elusive figure that he'd like to call his 'home with legs'.

He is the last to return to their familiar town, when most of them are crossing or have crossed the bridge to thirty. Everyone is eager to help Renjun move into his new apartment - overly excited at the prospect of the full squad being together again, whooping laughter and joyous cheers during the housewarming party. Some of them have seen it coming, but frankly? Donghyuck didn't - and still can't quite so believe it, even after days turning into weeks, turning into months.

And yet, Renjun is here - despite Donghyuck's clear memories of late-night conversations during university, huddled together and so, so close; whispered secrets that he carries ever since.

He doesn't know if it is because Renjun never told the others, or because he's the only one remembering - or if it's because he's the only one who is still living in the past of it.

It's not that he dislikes the thought of him being here, quite the opposite, but there remains something surreal about it.

Even as Donghyuck helped him to tidy up his office just yesterday, meeting up with Renjun before work still feels a little bit like a miracle.

… Granted, Jaemin is also here in Donghyuck's apartment because he's been boasting about his new coffee machine, so his best friend insisted on coming over to try, and honestly? He couldn't wish for a better scenario.

(Even as the dirty looks Jaemin throws him when Renjun isn't looking aren't helping his cause; he's still trying to win a certain someone's heart, after all.)

"This fragrance … makes me wonder if I should come over every day," Renjun says dreamily, humming as he takes in the lingering scent alone.

"Yeeeeaaaah, wouldn't you think so," Jaemin unhelpfully supplies, a little bit of a devilish grin on his face as Donghyuck clears his throat.

"I mean," he pointedly says with a look exchanged with his best friend, "you're welcome any time if you want. Just let me know, so things aren't a safety hazard when you come over."

He gets a crispy laugh of Renjun in return. "Says the one who cleaned up my office yesterday," the other just chuckles.

"What? You should do that for me, too, I'm suffering between all those forms!" Jaemin complains, whining as he has the audacity to pout - which only earns him a deadpan stare from Donghyuck, and a very amused snicker from Renjun.

"No offence, but the one time I tried to help you, you almost bit my finger because I was disrupting 'your natural order in chaos', quote-unquote," Donghyuck reminds him dryly.

Jaemin only fingerguns. "Point taken."

Donghyuck rolls his eyes - maybe fondly - as he detaches himself from the conversation to turn around to prepare all of their coffees, perhaps taking a bit longer than usual. But, that is exactly step two of his plan as he returns to them with three mugs on a tablet, brilliant smile in place.

"This one's for you," he hands a mug with a purely dark liquid over to Jaemin, raising an eyebrow at the satisfied sound his best friend lets out.

"And this," Donghyuck takes the mug with a heart formed out of milk foam and coffee and places it in front of Renjun, "is for you."

He makes sure to observe Renjun's reaction, the crinkling of his eyes to crescents as he hums. "You've been practising latte art? Impressive!"

"Hehe, it's just something I picked up-" Donghyuck tries to reply nonchalantly over the discreet cough of Jaemin.

Renjun doesn't have to know about the hours of videos he watched for this moment alone, let along the many coffees that have been drunk in the process of it all, to the point that he nearly opts for a cup of tea this morning, but that would be too odd, no?

"And I don't get anything special?" Jaemin whines with a pout, making both of the others roll their eyes.

"I'll draw you a cat when you start drinking latte," Donghyuck says dryly, making Jaemin fistbump the air in victory.

Renjun chuckles at the almost absurd image of Jaemin drinking something else than the shots of espresso that linger in his mug now, but apparently, the conversation earnestly shifts to how Jaemin will embrace all types of coffees now.

It feels truly out of this world at this rate, but there is warmth inside of Donghyuck's chest, too - warmth alone from being with the both of them, as gentle eyes are watching the relaxed figure of Renjun in particular before they all have to rush to get to their respective workplaces in time.

But, it's been worth it, to see how Renjun carefully took sip after sip in fear of destroying the heart before he caves in and just drinks it all up.

It's so worth the happy smile that he gets to see when they part, and the cosy feeling in his chest.

—

Sometimes, Donghyuck would dream about days gone by.

Days where things have felt easier yet harder, a complicated time of joy and turmoil as they all went through the cycle of growing up. He remembers how he and Renjun would lay close to each other, head on shoulder, stars shimmering in the night sky like the content smile of the person next to him.

And, Renjun would have said, "I don't think I can come back here. Not to live here, no."

He would laugh, knowing how silly he'd sound - his eyes would be filled with such a twinkling, conflicting happiness that Donghyuck could do little else than squeeze their intertwined hands, rubbing his forehead against the other's.

So, so close.

"Why not?" Donghyuck would ask, trying not to feel the lump in his throat.

"It's stupid, but …" Renjun would start, "I'm so happy, I don't think I could survive being this happy for so long."

What he didn't say and Donghyuck still tried to decipher was, I don't want this happiness to end, so I'm leaving at my happiest. I'm going to leave my memories here, so they can shine brightly forever.

Donghyuck didn't understand - still doesn't, Renjun's mind working like an enigma -, but like so many times in Renjun's presence, he would only nod, a bit dumbfounded.

"If that's what you want, I want it, too."

And the memory would fade into something else, with Renjun's soft smile the last clear memory he has from that particular evening that has cemented one thing inside him: that Renjun will neither stay nor come back.

He wakes with an ache in his heart, and goes on about his day.

And yet …

It's the third day of this week, a Wednesday, when everyone gets together for a movie night.

They're still animatedly talking when they're out of the cinema, Jisung in particular expressing his vivid thoughts, always one to find something to marvel over, even in the smallest things. Donghyuck is quite glad to see that this seems to be a thing untouched by time, so he indulges their youngest in the talk also, throwing questions here and now.

They're crowding the entrance area for sure, but it's late and nobody else has the audacity today to watch something this late on a workday.

"-and that final shoot, just- wow," Jisung lets out with a noise that sounds almost strangled, but is commonly agreed to be a sign of awestruck disbelief. "-Wait, don't tell me it's starting to rain, though-"

Jisung's face drops the smile so fast, eyebrows furrowing in a way that has the other six turning to the street.

And true to his words, rain is starting to fall down - gently at first, but it's evident that it will become a torrent in the near future.

"Hah, good that I came prepared," Chenle flexes the large umbrella he brought along with him the whole time and Jisung's face is distorting in pain. He's probably remembering the way he mocked Chenle earlier for bringing it when the sky appeared to be so clear … and now, he has to fear how much he has to bargain for the other to let him under the umbrella, too.

Jeno, Jaemin and Mark all just shrug as they fumble for their portable pocket umbrellas, though Mark's certainly saw better days once he finally managed to bring it forth from the depths of his bag.

Donghyuck, too, isn't too worried as he made it a habit to bring a small one, the unpredictability of this town's weather a continuous threat to whatever he has to carry safely and, most importantly, dryly.

He does notice that Renjun is frowning deeply.

"You good?" he scurries over immediately, dropping his face into Renjun's line of sight, who blinks at him before giving him a lopsided smile.

"Huh …? Oh, yeah, I just forgot to bring an umbrella," Renjun sighs out. "Forgot how the weather is around here."

"Do you want to borrow mine?" Donghyuck immediately offers, making the other frown.

"What about you then-?"

"It's fine, I can just run home real fast! I practically live around the corner, anyway."

Renjun sighs, though there is a smile forming despite. "You literally do not."

"I do if I run really fast," Donghyuck only smirks, holding out his umbrella for the other to take. "I'll be fine, seriously."

However, instead of gallantly taking his offer, Renjun rolls his eyes, pushing the umbrella towards its owner again. "If anyone, I should be the one to run really fast. My new apartment is quite close, remember?"

Maybe, it's stupid how Donghyuck's heart skips a beat or two at this silly banter, but the grin on his face just won't be willed away (not that he puts a lot of effort into it).

He pushes the umbrella back.

"Hm, do I?" he says with a cheeky grin, laughing when Renjun groans exasperatedly in reply.

"Yeah! You were there like, last week!" Renjun tuts, and maybe it's a bit angelic to Donghyuck's ears.

He really missed this.

"Maybe I need a reminder-"

He hasn't noticed how everyone else around them turned quiet - even Jisung and Chenle - if not for Mark's not-so-subtle whisper of "dude, he's flirting-"

"Aaaaaalright," Chenle thusly chirps in, slinging an arm around Donghyuck in what he can only describe as 'most devious manner'. "Since Donghyuck is so adamant on giving you his umbrella, you should really take it," he addresses the older, taking the item out of Donghyuck's hands to shove them into Renjun's, no talking back accepted. "And since Renjun is so worried about you getting wet," Chenle then turns to Donghyuck who feels his stomach drop down-below, "you'll just come with us! My umbrella is big enough for the three of us!"

Which, honestly, seems to be quite a bold statement and a far, far stretch.

Jisung protests when Chenle throws his other arm around him, pulling the three of them together, muttering something about almost getting hit by "that damn thing" as he rolls his eyes.

"Don't tell me you forget you literally live two streets down from my place, it is only reasonable," Chenle bats his eyelashes in mockery.

"… I'd rather forget," Donghyuck states dryly, but gains no support from any of his other friends, with Jisung having resigned to his fate.

"Well, then everyone is accounted for?" Jeno asks as they shuffle to part - or, as much as one can shuffle when Chenle isn't one to let go of the death grip. One could think they're carefree university students again instead of grown-up adults. … Sort of.

It's the feeling of being together again after so long, Donghyuck muses, eyes glancing over to Renjun in a silent plea, but the other simply smiles back sweetly.

"Thanks for the umbrella and get home safely!" he chirps, fully knowing what he succumbs Donghyuck to, but the younger can't really be mad about it.

Seeing Renjun smile makes him feel like step three of his entire plan might have worked out after all, even though he had no plan for step three, too focused on step four, but he'll take a win when he sees one.

… Even if he now has to endure whatever leaves Chenle's mouth at this point, but maybe it's worth it all the same.

And at least, Jisung suffers with him.

—

The fact that his umbrella is missing the next day only reassures him of the very real existence of Renjun in this town, rather than somewhere where Donghyuck can maybe visit for a week or two during holidays at most.

To be honest, Renjun being so close again still feels like a dream.

Don't get him wrong, there is this overwhelming sense of joy and contentment whenever he is in the other's presence, seeking it out whenever he can. It goes as far as contemplating to move to Renjun's current whereabouts multiple times, just to stop at the realisation that where Renjun can't - or, couldn't come back to the town they met for the first time, Donghyuck simply cannot leave it.

The current situation feels so surreal that it takes a moment to sink in.

After that, it's everything all at once.

Memories of their years together - of silly letters exchanged, of feelings that have kind of always been there. Donghyuck always knew that Renjun is attractive, both inside-out, and that anyone would be lucky to be greeted with this brilliant smile. And to a degree, he always knew that he was in love with this dear friend of his. People call him sunshine without realising that there is a brilliant star shining in the night right with him.

There was a period in university, right at the end of an exam (curse him and his mind going back and forth between everything and nothing), where he considered confessing - asking Renjun out on a date, to be boyfriends. But in the end, the thought went away as quietly as it came and things moved on from that singular moment that could have changed everything and nothing, but did none.

Donghyuck can't quite find it in himself to regret it, either, knowing it must have been for the better, anyway - and if it all that happened and hasn't happened comes down to him standing up a little earlier than he has to, normally, to prepare a lunchbox for Renjun, it's a little bit worth it.

He's smiling and humming to himself as he scurries around in the kitchen, a familiar song playing in the background; one he'd always associate with Renjun.

It accompanied him for the past days, and continues to do so for the day until lunch time hits and he excuses himself from his colleagues to walk over to the nearby museum. Renjun mentioned something about a part-time job he accepted, to be a tour guide for their temporary special exhibition that's part of his expertise, but if one thing hasn't changed, then …

He goes to the information booth, mentioning the reason of his visit and he's gestured to wait nearby as Renjun is called over.

Donghyuck can't help but grin to himself when he sees the familiar figure approaching, evoking a deep sense of longing and warmth throughout.

"Hey you," he says once Renjun is closer, a fond smile on his face in contrast to the apparent confusion on the other's face.

"Hyuck? Why're you here?" The words blur a little bit into another, evident of his surprise. "You're in luck, though, I was just about to head back to university-"

"I know - well, I assumed as much," Donghyuck cuts him off with a sly grin, laughing over the dumbfounded expression on Renjun's face. "You used to get like this when you had so much to do, you know? Hopping from one place to another without rest. I bet you were about to skip on lunch, too, right?"

It furthers the furrowed eyebrows Renjun displays, an unfamiliar emotion settling before he all but laughs it off, washes it away with an amused smile of his own.

It makes Donghyuck's heart skip a beat, or two.

"Seems like bad habits die hard indeed," Renjun sighs, arms in the air, palms out. "You caught me. But, don't tell me you-"

"-brought your favourite snacks? Yeah, maybe I did," Donghyuck can't keep the smugness off his voice when he pulls out the prepared lunchbox, neatly packed up in a sunshine yellow cloth. "You really shouldn't skip meals, Jun-ah."

Pink dusts Renjun cheeks as he groans over the accusatory words, the familiar nickname in such a whining voice that's so 'unfit' for someone their age, maybe. But even the eyeroll can't quite so hide the fondness seeping out from somewhere within and Donghyuck counts that as a win for step four.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll take care - it's just for another week or so, anyway," Renjun remarks in reply. "And - thanks. I appreciate it."

Donghyuck all but beams. "You're quite welcome!"

"Well," Renjun then says, tilting his head in question. "Wanna eat together, then?" He squints at the expression that dawns on the younger's face. "Wait … where's your lunch?"

Donghyuck looks at his now-emptied tote bag as he clears his throat, coughing lightly. "Oh … oh, about that …"

Renjun raises an eyebrow, apparently waiting for the continuation, so he has little choice but to continue, albeit a little quieter. "… maybe I was so occupied with preparing yours, I kind of forgot to make my own?"

The older lets out an exasperated noise, lightly hitting the other on the arm. "Ya! Hyuck, I swear-" He pinches the bridge of his nose.

"It's fine, it's fine - my lunch break just began, anyway, so I'll find somewhere to sit and all. You should hurry back, though, if you want to stay on your schedule, no?" Donghyuck gives him both thumbs-ups in an attempt to soothe the waking dragon.

Renjun still glares at him, though his words or the silly gesture seem to have done the trick because he doesn't go all out into a lecture or two. "I guess I'll let you off the hook for now since I'm also kind of the reason why you forgot. Just … send me a picture of your lunch or something?" He checks the clock, confirming Donghyuck's earlier thoughts - he seems to be on a tight schedule.

"Don't worry about me, I got this!" Donghyuck affirms with a grin.

And he thinks he hears a "kind of hard not to", but it might as well just be his imagination because Renjun is already giving him a soft smile in return, nodding. "Yeah, off we go then?"

They only talk for a little more as they walk towards the door, parting when Renjun really runs for it to catch the bus to the university, making Donghyuck chuckle as he sighs out.

Well, off to his own lunch he goes.

—

Perhaps, he's always been a little bit in love with Renjun.

Even as he kept circling back to him in all those years passing, anyway, eyes and heart hovering around the other in one way or another, he always felt rather content with how things were between them.

Perhaps it's the lack of feeling electrocuted when near him - the lack of imaginary digestion problems caused by metaphorical butterflies that never pushed him to act on those fuzzy feelings of warmth. Being with Renjun rarely took his breath away - being with him was much more like being wrapped in a warm blanket.

Being in love with him feels like coming home.

Jealousy rarely got to him when they kept on being in each other's lives in their own ways, with or without someone else by their side. They still texted and called whenever feasible, replying to each other's memes with one of their own.

It's comfortable like this and he wouldn't quite so mind if nothing comes out of his whole plan, either, but … having Renjun in the same town again does make spark fly a little - fireworks exploding.

And this time around, he can't help but to fall right into it.

"You really didn't have to come here and help me with that, you know?" Renjun furrows his eyebrows as he closes the car door, yawning as the stars are already twinkling in the night sky. "I - I could've just come and drove the books back to my apartment later."

Donghyuck firmly shakes his head. "Please, I know you'd rather work on it during the weekend, too, and you hate how much of a hassle it is to get into your own office on a Saturday," he argues, smiling as he can't keep the fondness out of his voice at this rate, a sleepy Renjun next to him. "'sides, did you even get a proper night's rest this week?"

"-don't ask," Renjun mumbles. "Your coffee pretty much saved my Tuesday, I should come over more often."

It makes Donghyuck chuckle, elbowing the other before he starts the engine. "You're always welcome, though I'd rather just have you sleep enough."

The soft gaze of the other startles Donghyuck a bit, but he focuses on the road ahead, steering the wheel as they drive the distance to Renjun's apartment.

"I can always recommend you some nearby coffee shops, too, if you come in a clutch timewise, and if you don't want the university coffee," Donghyuck begins to talk anew.

Renjun yawns another time - he thinks he can see him nodding in peripheral - before he speaks. "Wouldn't be too bad? I mean, the university coffee is fine, I guess, but …"

"Lacks the certain something?"

"Exactly! Plus, now I feel old listening to all the students talking about their first term paper and whatnot." He chuckles.

"Come on, we're not that old - we still have more than half of our lives left!" Donghyuck protests, though it probably comes out weak amidst the laughter and amusement.

"Guess there's still much time left, huh?" Renjun hums.

Donghyuck grins. "You can bet on that."

The rest of the ride goes by relatively quietly, with Renjun yawning rather than talking and Donghyuck filling the silence with some radio music rather than his own voice, simply enjoying the nearness of it all. Surely, it's step five of his plan to woo one Huang Renjun, but it's also so familiar, it could probably be any other time.

Driving down into the apartment building's basement garage, he parks in the respective place before he gently stirs the other awake. "Hey, did you really doze off?" he laughs, amused - utterly endeared.

Renjun only grumbles, stretching - almost hitting Donghyuck's face - as he huffs out. "Nothing you can do about it now," he remarks with a cheeky tone in his voice despite the lingering fatigue. But he seems to be able to get it together enough to help with carrying the boxes full of binders, documents and books.

"Do you seriously need all that stuff?" Donghyuck lets out incredulously as the last box is finally deposited in the corridor of Renjun's apartment.

"Figures," Renjun rolls his eyes, but he's clearly amused, judging by the smirk on his face. "Well, some are just old things I don't need in my office anymore, so I figured I'd bring them over instead, but the rest … I thought you should know how long a bibliography can get."

"Shh, don't remind me, I'm trying so hard to forget," Donghyuck whines back. "I'm reading to elementary school kids these days for a reason."

It elicits a laugh out of Renjun, and honestly? All that work is worth it, just for this. "I'm sure you're doing a great job."

"I am, the kids love me!"

"Mh? Convinced you'd make a great father, too, huh?"

Donghyuck grins. "Obviously. In fact, we should adopt a cat."

They stare at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. Renjun's eyes crinkle to crescents and Donghyuck can't help but to stare a bit.

"What - that's barely even related - your mind amazes me every time," Renjun finally lets out between fits of chuckles.

"That's not a no," Donghyuck retorts, but the back of his head is soon met with the palm of the older's hand, a brief encounter that still has him snickering.

"Let me settle properly first and then we can talk, maybe."

"Really?!"

Renjun chuckles. "You're so weird."

"You wouldn't want it any other way," Donghyuck challenges confidently.

"Hah … I really would not," Renjun hums as he checks the clock. "It's getting late, though, do you want to stay over?"

It's a familiar offer, to be honest, even as it hasn't been quite so active for the past years, considering their respective living circumstances - considering they usually stay in each other's residences when they come for a visit, anyway.

It warms him, still, and he smiles, but shakes his head.

"Nah, I have to get out early tomorrow, wouldn't want to make you miss me when you wake up without me," Donghyuck winks, perhaps overstepping in bravery, but the other merely scoffs, bemusement playing with the corners of Renjun's lips.

"Bold of you to assume," he snorts.

"Am I wrong, though?"

Maybe, Donghyuck's heart is about to beat out of his ribcage. This feels both familiar as their interactions tend to go this way or another, and yet …

Renjun smiles back at him, a clear streak of mischief visible in the twinkle of his eyes. "That's for me to know, and for you to find out."

"That is not a no-" Donghyuck doesn't want to sound so utterly hopeful - breathless, even -, but he can't help it when Renjun merely laughs in return, a clear and airy sound.

"You should go before you get any more tired, Hyuck," he hums, pushing the younger towards the door. "I'll see you around - sleep well!"

"Jun-" Donghyuck can barely mutter before the door closes right in front of his nose. And yet, he can't help the grin that threatens to spill all over.

He really is back, huh?

—

Saturdays used to be for the hustle and bustle with the others, friendly hangouts during a day when most of them are free - in the recent years, though, Donghyuck started to take saturdays for himself.

He wakes, tickled by the rays of sunlight that blends through his curtains, raising a smile to his face as he yawns - stretches as he sits up. There isn't much on his schedule today, but he did promise to walk his neighbour's dogs this morning, so he leisurely readies himself for the day, humming a melody.

He checks the group chat and replies to a few direct messages during his breakfast, sending a few texts of his own. Technically, there is no step six to his five-step plan, but considering he hasn't actually finished step five with completing the goal, thus he's still working on wooing the other, he takes the leisure to add a step seven by leaving a message in Renjun's inbox, asking if he wanted to do a picnic tomorrow.

Step six - today, however, remains his sacred day to himself.

Truth be told, he hasn't always allowed himself this spare window to mostly himself, to reflect and recharge. There used to be a time - a long, long time - where he clung to others, recharging his energy this way while depleting it at the same time. He's a particularly social one, after all, but constantly being with someone or another, lest he feels too unnerved, have grated on his nerves, leaving a particular gap once his friends weren't always available anymore - weren't even in close proximity, for a part. He became reliant on someone else's words and thoughts, for the worse, until everything but broke down above and underneath him. It's only then that slowly, he began to claw his way out to be with himself - and, just himself.

Saturdays are the place and the time he made for himself, fortunate enough to have friends that are willing to reschedule and adjust if needed, as he's growing not to feel as fearful of missing things.

Barely any plans for one day of the week, just one day to sit back if he needs to.

He's still learning so much about himself and others - but now, at least he has the time to do just that and reflect instead of chasing someone or something else without rest.

"So, how's your wooing going? Are you really going to ask him out at the end of it?" Jaemin's voice rings through the phone speaker, playfulness evident in his voice, but a hidden notion of concern, too.

After all, he's been with Donghyuck whenever things were rough - secrets shared that some of the others aren't even aware of.

His own crippling self-esteem - why he never bothered to ask Renjun out before included, even as there was a time during university where it only seemed to be a matter of days until the two of them would announce their relationship.

Obviously, it never came as far before, but now …

"Mh-hm, yes! I asked him if he wants to go on a picnic tomorrow, and we'll see from there I guess," Donghyuck hums with a laugh, if only to hide his nerves flaring up.

"You're gonna be okay?"

Donghyuck chuckles. "We're going to see about that, no?"

Jaemin hums. "Yeah … as long as you know what you're doing," he sounds unusually serious, a thoughtful edge to his words.

"To be honest, it still feels so unreal that he's here," Donghyuck breathes into existence, quietly as he stares at his empty plate. "Like, Min-ah, he's here-" He sucks in a breath. "I … I really want to give this a try, if it works out. You think I should?"

Jaemin chuckles in return. "Hey, I thought we've talked about this already? Hyuckie - it's fully up to you and him, I'm not going to say anything."

"Force of habit," Donghyuck lets out with a sigh, but the words are still reassuring. If he won't be confident, then nobody is going to be it for him, either. "But, thanks. I appreciate it."

"I still think you're a little bit crazy, though, but I'm glad to see you didn't go all out," Jaemin laughs. "Though, that would have been funny-"

"I mean, who said I can't go all out, should we end up dating?" The smirk is evident in Donghyuck's voice.

"Ohohohoho, playing the long game, I see, I see-"

They end up talking a bit more over everything and nothing while he cleans up, promising Jaemin that he'll come by on Monday if he finds some time. Once the call ends, he goes over to his neighbour's apartment, ready to be welcomed by the two dogs that greet him eagerly. Taking his neighbour's dogs for a walk is part of the recharging, too.

He takes them to the nearby park where he plants himself under a shade-spending tree, leisurely playing with the dogs until they're bored and scurry to find something else in close vicinity to do. It leaves him with enough freedom to check his messages - accept an incoming call.

"Jun-ah? You're awake?" Donghyuck laughs with a teasing voice, humming as the other merely gruffs.

"Mh, sort of … just woke up and saw your text," Renjun's voice comes out unusually raspy, probably an after-effect of having slept for hopefully a good time.

"Aww, so you wanted to call?"

"You're the one who said you prefer calls-"

Perhaps, his heart stutters a bit. "That was ages ago," Donghyuck can't keep the fondness out of his words as Renjun merely hums. "Can't believe you remembered that."

"Well, is it still true?"

"… Yeah, it is."

"Then here I am, calling you."

Renjun's voice comes out soft, and Donghyuck can picture the gentle smile forming on the sleepy face, crowned by bed hair. It's been a while since he saw it, when Renjun visited and slept over the last time prior his move, but like so many memories with him, they feel easy to remember. Even those that are harder to swallow.

The mere image of Renjun in his mind is enough to let a soft smile form on his own features.

"Like me that much?" he teases, earning a laugh from the other side.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Renjun only replies in sing-song, a small yawn following. "Before I forget, though - your - the picnic. I'd love to do that tomorrow. Maybe you were right and I need a bit of a break before Monday comes around again …"

Donghyuck can't help the smug grin that rises.

"I-"

"-told me so, I know, I know," the other intercepts before Donghyuck can even start, making the younger pout while the older laughs. "You're sulking now, aren't you?"

"-no," Donghyuck replies with a huff, "'course not."

"Naww, come on, we're going on a picnic tomorrow, yeah? I could make us some tea?" Renjun all but coos and Donghyuck may or may not be about to lose it in a public park, eyed by at least two pairs of dog eyes as he works hard to suppress indistinguishable noises of exasperation (and fondness) from escaping.

"-Yeah, that works," he replies, as nonchalantly as he can. "I can cook for us again?"

"I'd love to - your lunchbox was really great!"

"That's the seventh time you told me that now," Donghyuck laughs, feeling pride welling up inside.

"Maybe seven's the charm," Renjun only hums before he starts a whole interrogation on what kind of tea type Donghyuck is.

"Why is that even important-" the younger whines at some point, only earning an incredulous noise in return.

"Just answer the question, silly," Renjun merely retorts. "How would you describe your relaxation routine now, hm?"

By the end of it, he feels more drilled than a Saturday should feel like, but Renjun's voice seems rather chipper and utterly satisfied when they hang up, so maybe it's not as bad. Besides, he still has the neighbour's dogs that keep him company as a warm, brilliant smile permanently attaches itself to his face for the remainder of the day.

When Renjun texts him more things regarding tomorrow, Donghyuck decides to pocket it for now, reply to it later, as he takes a breath of the bright moment that exists right now.

—

"Well …" Renjun sighs.

"Yup," Donghyuck confirms.

Rain is pouring heavily on the outside, a sudden weather change that, this time, doesn't quite work out in Donghyuck's favour. "Guess that's a literal rain check?" he can't help but to let the dejection colour his voice, frowning as he listens to the light laughter that comes from the other side of the call.

"Aww, were you looking forward to it this much?" Renjun's voice is teasing, but gentle, too, a humming melody accompanying his words.

"You can't tell me you weren't, judging from our chat last night," Donghyuck retorts, smugness returning as reality sinks in. It's not the first time that such a thing happened, for sure, but he can't really get used to it. He looks over to the table where he already began to prepare some of the snacks.

"Okay, okay, I was very much looking forward to it, too," Renjun admits with a laugh. "It feels like it's been a while that we did something together for more than fifteen minutes."

His last words come out quieter than before, but Donghyuck still catches them. It melts his smile to an infinitely soft one.

"Well, I'm here," he hums. I've always been here.

Renjun snorts, though even the phone static can't quite so hide the amusement - the fondness? - that seeps through. "Figured, so what?"

It sounds challenging, and - well, Donghyuck isn't one to back down from a challenge. Especially not if it comes from Renjun.

"So … why don't you come over?"

—

In the end, they don't only do an indoor-kind of picnic, spreading out a blanket in the living room - Renjun also managed to salvage a small tent from the depths of Donghyuck's storage room as evening nears, eyes twinkling brightly. And who is Donghyuck that he could say no to that?

Of course he can't.

"It's getting pretty late" he notices as he studies the manual on how to put up this tent. "You … want to stay over?"

The words are almost drowned out by the noises of Renjun continuing to rummage in his storage room. It makes him roll his eyes, but the smile on Donghyuck's face is fond no less.

"Huh? What did you say?" Renjun halts for a moment. "Staying over? Hmm … yeah, sure, why not? I'm not gonna clock in until a bit later on Monday, so it's fine. Wanna lend me some stuff?"

"Sure, I should have some spares," Donghyuck throws back, maybe feeling a little too happy about the occasion. To be honest, step seven hasn't gone according to the five-minute-plan he drew up yesterday with the picnic in mind, but this is … infinitely nicer. There is something so utterly grounding in the way he can see Renjun through the doorframe of the storage room, how he disappears and appears again between boxes. His head turns to the manual once more, but not for long as Renjun exclaims in joy.

"A-ha! Was wondering if you kept them," he exclaims at last, returning with a chaotic bundle of fairy lights.

"-I swear I wanted to give them back to you-" Donghyuck is immediate in his defence, eyes widening at the familiar sight. Renjun once brought them over from his own dorm for when they were students. However, it seems to have been more of a one-way ticket since it's been lingering in his belongings ever since.

Renjun shakes his head with a smile, amusedly. "Nah, what should I have done with it, anyways? I'm more happy to see you kept it for all those years."

"How could I throw it away? It's yours," Donghyuck scoffs with a smile.

There it is again, this intricate warmth as Renjun settles next to him, leaning his head on his shoulder and suddenly, it feels a bit like they're twenty-two  again, on the verge of altering the courses of their lives forever, continuously - forward, forward.

But, they're thirty instead and things have been said and done - and yet, something threatens to spill right out of his throat-

-and, something does.

"Hey, Jun-ah … why did you come back?"

His voice is barely a whisper, but it makes the figure next to him halt, anyway, to stop try and dissect the fairy lights cords for a moment.

The world seems to stand still until, "so you remember."

"It's kind of hard not to," Donghyuck muses, when I wanted to create my life around you.

It confirms the fact that Renjun hasn't just forgotten, either, and moved on a whim or something - there is something more deliberate, delicate at work and maybe, he's failed to notice.

Failed to notice how Renjun detaches himself, threading both of their hands together as he sits cross-legged in front of him instead, fairy lights in his lap, until Donghyuck all but blinks at the other owlishly.

"I guess the short answer is … I wanted to come home," he hums, eyes glancing upon their intertwined hand, but Donghyuck can't avert his gaze from the figure in front of him.

His heart spills over, but the words don't follow. There are too many of them.

"And the long one?"

"The long one … hm. I told you about happiness, didn't I? To be honest, looking back, I don't even know what deep pseudo-philosophy I trapped myself into, but leaving felt good in the moment. I knew I couldn't stay - I guess, with everyone but you and Jaemin leaving, it didn't feel right. I was afraid how things would turn out to be once they'd move, so I guess I wanted to leave first - when everyone was still here."

Renjun takes a deep breath, fingers moving as the next words fall from his lips. "We all know that happiness is bound to end - or get interrupted, at least - sooner or later, that something bad will occur, and I … guess I was afraid that if something happens while I'm still here, I could come to hate this town that I love so much. When I said I couldn't survive being this happy, maybe I meant I couldn't survive hardships. I know it sounds absurd - I really don't know if I make sense, but …" He laughs, a thoughtful, airy sound that lingers in the space between them.

The sun is setting, and Donghyuck listens, quietly, a thumb running over the other's skin in encouragement to continue.

"You know? I lived in places, been with people, had my ups and downs, and what I once feared didn't seem so bad. Sometimes I loathed my job because of something bad that happened, but ultimately, I wouldn't quit it just because of that. There are other things to cherish about it, and other things that make something all the more precious than one - or plenty - ugly stains. And … well, I saw you."

"Me?" Donghyuck's voice comes out a bit scratchy, raw from the emotions spilled - from the lump in his throat, but he still chuckles. "What about me?"

"Well, you always stayed here with Jaemin - and I saw, or heard, about this or the other that you went through. You know, back then, I feared you'd come to hate it here, like I was afraid I would, this precious place where we all met. But when I came to visit you next, your eyes were still sparkling when you talked about our all-time favourite café, or the new restaurant, and the people you've come to know in the past year or so. You didn't just abandon everything when things got rough, even if you could have - but … well … you stayed. I ended up wondering if I could do it, too."

"I'm not that easy to get rid of," Donghyuck hums quietly.

"It's one of your better and worse qualities," Renjun laughs. "And when I said I wanted to come home …"

Donghyuck smiles. "Well, by now you should know the town welcomes you back-"

"… I meant you."

Donghyuck almost missed the words over his own more playful ones, the mere whisper of a thought as Renjun lightly squeezes his hands, gaze finally meeting his - lips curled to a small smile, hesitant still, and yet-

Oh.

"… me," Donghyuck breathes into life, a little speechless.

He remembers what he declared to Jaemin exactly a week ago, but somehow, he failed to prepare himself for the serene laugh that comes out of Renjun at his perplexed reaction, the melodious hum as he removes his hands from his, going back to fiddle with the fairy lights.

"You," Renjun says determinedly, face brightening up when he's able to smoothen out the chaos to a more stringent line that he puts around Donghyuck who is still too stunned to speak. "Is it this hard to wrap your pretty head around?"

Donghyuck opens - closes his mouth in confusion, eliciting another glistening laugh from the other as he stands up to plug the fairy lights in, literally engulfing the younger in light.

"I think we might have taken the long way home, but … I do love you. Want to date me?"

Renjun's voice is playful, bopping his nose as he chuckles, a warm hand pressed against his cheek. "I mean I'm kind of certain about your feelings, but a verbal answer would be appreciated - and, no, kissing doesn't count as yes. Tell me."

"You're - what - I'm-" Donghyuck fails to conjure words, eyes widening. "-kiss you?"

"You may," Renjun snickers yet gently, "but only if you tell me after."

In the end, they both lean in closer, a breathless moment to Donghyuck as their lips touch gently. Lights are dancing on his closed eyelids, fairy lights all around in such a silly gesture, but it feels so sweet - everything about this does. He can't help but to want to lean in even more, but in the end, they do break apart sooner rather than later as they start laughing, his head falling against Renjun's shoulder who wraps his arms around him to hold him tight.

"Can I spend my life with you?" Donghyuck whispers, grinning like a fool - so overfull of everything.

"You may," Renjun repeats softly, hand finding its way into his hair, treading through it soothingly. "For as long as you want to."

"Even if it might be forever?"

"We can make it work."

"Even if things won't always be happy?"

"Even so. It's worth it, Hyuck. You're worth it."

Truthfully, nothing could have prepared him for this moment now that it's here, throat closing up as he feels like crying - for all the good reasons, but not before - he owes Renjun a reply, after all.

"Yes - yes, I love you, I love you so much," he stutters, words less elegant than the elaborate speeches he prepared before, but who would have known that Renjun would beat him to it? "Please, yes. I love you."

Renjun's laugh is delighted, tightening his embrace - fairy lights and all - and Donghyuck can feel his own smile imprinting itself in the crane of Renjun's neck. He wraps his arms around the other, too, and it feels like breathing all over.

Step seven? A success in a way he didn't see coming, but it doesn't even matter as much anymore. What counts is …

"Welcome home."

His home has come home.

"I'm home."

—

(They string the fairy lights around the tent afterwards, huddling together in this small abode within, blankets and pillows cushioning out the wooden floor.

Donghyuck is still in light disbelief that Renjun is here, but he wouldn't mind falling asleep to the mindless chatter of the other, his warm presence tightly intertwined with his own.

"You know, Jaemin sent me a message like, a week ago? Wishing me good luck and all," Renjun muses as he plays with the younger's fingers.

"That …" Donghyuck sighs, though not unkindly. "And?"

"Hmm, how should I say … I kind of had a hunch of what Jaemin was referring to after Monday, but I was only sure on Tuesday. Were you trying to make me fall in love with you?"

Donghyuck looks up curiously, not even trying to deny the obvious. "Did it work?"

"Mhh … not really," Renjun chuckles, lifting his head just enough to face the pouting face of his now-boyfriend, poking his cheek. "I was already in love with you, stupid. Still am, before you ask." He turns his whole body to snuggle up against Donghyuck, arms wrapped around his chest.

"To be honest, with Jaemin's message, I expected something worse than what you did. It felt oddly domestic, though."

Donghyuck laughs. "Actually, I was on the verge of ordering a gigantic flower bouquet and dozens of heart-shaped balloons and anatomically accurate heart-shaped balloons and all, but I know it was a stressful week for you, so … I just wanted to be there and do some nice things for you."

Renjun leans in to kiss him, and Donghyuck can feel the smile against his lips. "You knew I would have smacked that bouquet across your face if I was particularly tired, didn't you?"

"That, too," the younger snickers. "I still got the order saved, though."

"Good," Renjun hums, nuzzling cheek against cheek as their eyes meet, smiles mirrored on each their faces. "I want to see it one day. That and the balloon nightmare. I want to see it all."

Donghyuck turns his head just enough to leave a kiss on Renjun's face, peppering it with kisses.

"I'll make sure of it.")