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Chapter Text

Peter opened the sink cupboard and stared into a round and tear-stained face.

He had always been curious about this house. He still remembered it from ... was it a year ago? Whenever he passed it on his way to the Lukas’ family estate, he would feel a little tug. A promise of some good loneliness.

That was how Peter had found the man back then. The man – the family father chained by duty and lost in the domestic life out in the middle of nowhere. He had been an easy prey.

Not even once had the captain thought about what would happen to the family left behind.

He never did.

So, he hadn’t known how the mother would also succumb to The Lonely. About how the son would be blamed for the father’s disappearance.

But now as the sailor stood there and a pair of scared eyes stared back at him, did he feel a hint of guilt?

Before he knew it, he reached out and took the boy into his arms. Peter’s eyes went over the red lines where the edges of the cupboard had left their marks on the chubby boy. He took in the scraped knee, the bruise just below the eye, the swollen lip.

“Let’s go,” he muttered as he walked out of the now empty house.

There was no resistance.

Instead, the boy slightly flinched when they left the kitchen. He looked around as if searching for someone. It didn’t feel like he wanted to call out to whoever he was looking out for. It was more like he was scared to be seen.

Peter held the child a bit closer.

When he put him in the car, the big eyes filled with tears finally looked directly at him.

“Am I ... in trouble?”

Peter blinked. He lowered to one knee to look the boy in the eyes. “No. You’re safe now.”

The child opened his mouth. His lips were trembling. “What ... what about my mum?” he asked, choking on his words.

“Your mum—” the captain started before he stopped to think about it. There were many ways to tell the kid. But as it was too complicated, he took the easiest way out, even if it was harsh: “Your mum didn’t want you anymore, so I’m taking care of you now.”

There was silence.

The boy didn’t say a thing. He just stared at the captain with an unfathomable expression.

His eyes only followed Peter, when the man sat down in the driver’s seat and continued his way to the family estate. Only then did the captain feel the gaze drop. Through his mirror, Peter saw the boy staring down at his feet.

The little one was holding back his tears, obviously too scared to attract attention. But clever enough to know that there was truth in Peter’s words to not throw a tantrum.

Children always knew more than adults thought.

Every once in a while during the drive, Peter had to do a double take to make sure the boy was still there as he was fading like a ghost.

At some point, the child had leaned back and quietly stared out of the window. A distant gaze was on his face as he sunk deeper into the silence.

Fog had gathered around them outside the car, leaving the landscape as passing shadows.

There was no fear on the boy’s face. He was simply distant.

Peter decided that it had been a good idea to take the boy with him.

The child was different from its now gone parents.

He would make a perfect Lukas.

“If you tell anyone, strangers will come and take you away. You don’t want that, do you? Do you want to be separated from your family?”

His mother’s words still rang clearly in Martin’s ears. He had once told his kindergarten teacher where he got the bruise on his shoulder from. After that his parents had been invited for a talk.

When they got back home, his mother had cried for hours, scaring him off by telling him that he would never see his family again if he told anyone for another time.

“No,” Martin then had shouted. His trembling hands clinging to his jumper. “I do not want to be separated from you.”

He loved his parents too much after all. Even when they were shouting at him or sometimes hitting him. It was because he had done something wrong again, after all. He loved his parents and he had to stay with them.

That was what Martin had always told himself. He had to stay, he had to be a good boy, he had to help his parents get better.

When his father disappeared, he had to pull through for his mother. He had to be brave to dry her tears. He had to do most of the things in the house so that her rattled breathing didn’t get worse.

He had hold on for so long that he thought he could keep it going.

Yes, his school work was worse than average but it was hard to concentrate when you always kept an ear out to hear whether your mother was calling for you through the house or not. If he was only a bit too late, it could either range from “No sweets tonight!” or “Get in the cupboard, I don’t want to hear or see you for now!”.

He had thought he could keep going. But when this big man appeared and took Martin with him, Martin couldn’t help himself but cling to the soft fabric of an expensive coat.

I don’t want to be separated from my family, he had repeated in his head. But he hadn’t resisted.

I love my parents – I love my mother, his mind had screamed. But at the same time he had just wanted to flee.

Now, he was sitting in the back of a big car that took him further and further away from his home and his family.

For some reason, Martin knew that he wouldn’t be returning anymore. His father had already been gone for a long time. When they left, his mother hadn’t been shouting for him. He hadn’t heard her ragged breathing. He hadn’t felt the need to be as quiet as possible when the man took him out of his home.

No, Martin simply knew that there was no one left in the old house.

Instead, they parked in front of another one. The house felt even bigger than the ones Martin had seen on TV.

It was not as bleak as the landscape had been in the fog, but its sheer size and age commanded respect. The boy felt small looking up at it.

He didn’t notice how the big man had gotten out and circled the car to his side.

The man opened the door and took him into his arms.

“I ... I can walk!” Martin quickly piped, not wanting to be a bother.

The man just huffed in return, making the boy sink into himself and just keeping quiet. Once again, he let his nails carefully sink into the soft fabric of the coat, as he hoped it to keep him safe.

He tried to believe the big man’s words. He was safe now. He was safe.

No one would scream at him anymore.

No one would hit him anymore.

At least that’s what Martin hoped the word “safe” meant.

They entered the big estate. In passing Martin read the plaque by the door.

Moorland house

The name fit their surroundings.

There was no sound inside the building and the boy almost held his breath.

It felt like the very walls of the house commanded silence. There was no threat of punishment as Martin was used to if he did disturb the silence. Just the feeling that it was the right thing to do.

It was easy.

As long as he was as still as the rest of the house, he could do whatever he wanted. Just enjoying the quiet peace. With no one expecting him to be alert the whole time.

It was so easy just being himself within this big house that Martin curled up a bit more against the shoulder of the man.

The silence stayed even when they stepped into a room full of people.

Martin almost hid his face in the soft coat. He felt the attention shift towards them. It was like someone took the breath out of his lungs. But everything was staying noiseless.

No one had barely moved in the room. Their faces were like stone and there was no emotion that for a moment, the boy had thought them to be statues. But he had seen their eyes move.

He could feel them judging him.

It was a feeling he was too familiar with. At school. On the way through the neighborhood when he walked home. At home.

Martin clung even more to the big man. His eyes darted quickly through the room, trying to read the faces to know how he should behave.

Why was he here?

There were only adults. Older ones, younger ones, but all clothed in black and very very quiet.

Martin felt very out of place until he spotted a blonde boy in a corner of the room. That boy must have been around his age. He was wearing a fine black suit that made him look like a grown-up.

Their eyes met and the other boy looked away again quickly. Only for a second, though, as the other kid’s eyes soon flicked back to Martin, curiously. As quick as that happened, he looked away again.

Oh, okay. Martin understood. Stay still and don’t let anyone notice you. Whatever you want to do, fight it for now.

It was something he was good at. He swallowed his fear and tried to calm himself. He was good at not letting anything get to him. Just like how he would tune out his bullies’ jeers or his mother’s curses.

Martin put on a neutral face just in time, as a stern-looking man in the middle of the room opened his mouth.

“Peter!” he called out in a reproachful tone. “What is that?”

The shout almost made Martin flinch but he stayed put.

Peter – as the big man’s name apparently was – didn’t miss a beat and responded flatly: “Obviously a child, Nathaniel.”

“I— yes! I can see that!” Nathaniel sputtered. “But who is he?!”

Peter looked over to Martin. His gaze was distant but not cold.

Martin returned the gaze as calm as possible.

“What’s your name?”

Right. They hadn’t even introduced themselves to each other yet.

“Martin,” the boy replied. His voice was thin and high. He hated it. If only he could be more confident. He hoped at least his appearance didn’t give it away.

Peter nodded. He looked back to Nathaniel. “This is Martin Lukas” he declared.

“What?!”

Martin stared at the man with an opened mouth. His own voice had been drowned out by Nathaniel’s incredulous shout. There was a slight agitation among the people present. It was not much but it stood out compared to their former stillness.

When Martin’s eyes fell to the other boy for a moment, it looked like that kid was trying really hard to not burst out in laughter.

In the midst of all this, Peter stayed calm. His voice even took on a cheerful tone, as he smiled at Nathaniel. “Yes, this is Martin Lukas. I’m sure you’ll help me sort out the paperwork later, Nathaniel.”

The man opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by an old one who hit his cane onto the ground.

“Take it somewhere else, later,” he commanded. “We are here to pay our respects to a parted family member.”

Martin’s eyes widened. He looked around and surely he found the open casket quick enough. For some reason, he hadn’t noticed it until now.

Peter and Nathaniel silently fell in line.

A funeral. That would explain why everyone was so quiet. At least that was what Martin thought.

The confusion in him reached a new height he didn’t know was possible. But as Peter held him in his arms throughout everything, it felt like no matter what happened, it was alright.

After everything was said and done, Peter had brought Martin to something like a dark library. It had a connecting door to another room through which Peter and Nathaniel disappeared immediately after Martin was placed on an armchair.

The moment the connecting door closed, Nathaniel started shouting.

Peter wasn’t answering. Or maybe he was but it was quiet enough that Martin didn’t hear it. At least until a certain point because then the deep roar with which Peter would retort made it possible for the boy to make out words.

Martin curled up in the armchair he was left behind in. The shouting made his heart beat fast. Loud voice almost always led to violence. Martin dug his nails into his jumper.

The voices through the door made him remember the days his parents would argue.

It was a long time ago now, but the same fear rose in his stomach.

Once both were in a bad mood, they would blame Martin for it. It would be because Martin didn’t make his bed that they argued. It would be because he didn’t help cleaning the sink so his mum was mad and shout at his dad.

If he was lucky, they wouldn’t strike him for it. The anger they knew not to let out on each other would always be directed to their son instead.

Any argument would always be because of Martin as they told him.

And Martin knew exactly that the argument between the two men right now was because of him.

“We have the money, we can pay them to shut up.”

“But what exactly should I tell them in the first place?”

“I found a child crying on his own and no guardian was around – it’s not even a lie!”

On the one hand, Martin was tempted to block out everything by clasping his hands over his ears as he would always do. On the other hand, he wanted to know what situation he was in now.

“I’m helping keeping the family alive, Nathaniel!”

“He’s not even blood-related!”

“Well, I won’t take a stranger to bed if that’s what you want me to do instead.”

“We know nothing about that kid!”

“He’s perfect. I know that. You’ve seen him during the funeral!”

Martin barely understood what they were talking about. At least it sounded like he had behaved well?

But Nathaniel’s stubbornness made worry tie a knot in his stomach.

If Peter wouldn’t take him, where would he go? His father had already been gone for so long. And his mother ... he didn’t know where his mother was. He didn’t even know where he was.

Would Martin be left all on his own? The thought made his skin crawl.

In that moment, the door to the library opened.

Martin shot up, trying to be as presentable as possible.

He saw a blonde head peeking in. It was the other boy that had been in the corner of the big room before!

As their eyes meet, the boy broke into a grin.

“Ah, there you are!”

He scuttled into the room and closed the door behind him. He had changed into bright blue jeans and a colorful t-shirt, making him look much more like Martin’s age.

As the boy stood in front of Martin, he glanced at the other door that connected this room to the one the two men were in. He raised an eyebrow and seemed to strain his ears. A calculating look darted over his face.

(“The head of the family isn’t going to be happy about this!” – “Well, I don’t see uncle here, so it means he has approved it!” – “He is trusting my decision, that’s why he’s not here!”)

The raised eyebrow on the boy turned to a scowl, making him look like an adult again.

Then he rolled his eyes before he looked over to Martin. His smile was wide as he extended his free hand. In the other hand, he held a book.

“Hi, I’m Evan!”

“Hello,” Martin greeted. He wiped his hand on his jumper before he took Evan’s. “I’m Martin.”

Evan laughed, his voice bright and loud, before he quickly clasped a hand over his mouth. In a lower voice, he said: “Yeah, I think the whole family knows that by now.”

Martin felt how he went red. “S-sorry?”

“Oh no, don’t be! It’s great! And I’ve never seen Uncle Peter so interested in someone before!”

“‘Uncle’?”

“Ah, Uncle Peter is my father’s cousin!” Evan readily explained and nodded happily.

Martin nodded as well even if he didn’t exactly understand. He watched the boy in front of him.

Evan was so ... different. His bright smile, his loud voice, nothing about him seemed to fit this big house.

It also made him very different from Martin himself.

Before Evan could say something else, Nathaniel’s strained voice drifted to them: “Alright. You’re staying here. Both of you. I give you three months. We’re raising him like the rest of our family. If he passes that, you can keep him.”

Martin breathed in relief.

When he glanced at Evan, he saw that the boy had also turned his gaze to the door. He must have heard the words as well, as there was a mischievous glint in his eyes as if someone had challenged him to something.

Yes, Evan was very different from Martin despite being of similar age.

The door opened.

Nathaniel came through first, closely followed by Peter. He was barely through the door when he suddenly stopped. Peter almost crashed into him.

The scowl on Nathaniel’s face matched the one Evan had before. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought it would be great to adequately welcome a new family member,” Evan answered without missing a beat. At the same time he shoved the book in his hands into Martin’s.

Nathaniel stared at the two of them for a few seconds. Then he demanded: “Go back to your room, Evan. I think Martin will appreciate some alone time after the hectic day.”

“Yes, father.”

Evan turned to leave. When he was by the door, he caught Martin’s gaze winked at him.

Martin pressed his lips onto each other. He wanted to wave at the boy but as he had the two adults’ attention on him, he kept it to himself. He clutched the book closer to himself like a shield.

It seemed to help against Nathaniel because the man scanned the book as if he was judging the choice of his son.

Meanwhile, Peter had pushed past his cousin. In front of the armchair, he went down on one knee to be on the same height as Martin.

He smiled at the boy and reached out to ruffle his hair. His voice was jovial as he said: “I’m sorry, it must be a lot. Let me finally introduce myself: You can call me ‘Peter’ until you feel comfortable enough to call me ‘dad’. Because that’s what I’ll be from now on.”

Martin swallowed. He didn’t know what to say. It was so surreal that he almost thought he had been dreaming everything.

If it wasn’t for Nathaniel’s watchful gaze or Peter’s cold hand on his head, the boy would surely have tried to wake himself up.

In the end, he could only nod.

That was how Martin Blackwood became Martin Lukas.

Chapter Text

The next days went by in a blur. Martin was introduced to the house, the few family members that lived there, and his own rooms.

He barely remembered the face of anyone. Or even the hallways of the estate. Although Martin normally prided himself in remembering and reading faces fairly good, he almost forgot everyone’s appearance seconds after having met them. It was a lot at once.

But there was nothing Martin could complain about. He had a roof over his head. He had warm meals. He was well taken care of.

He even got clothes tailored for him. Tailored!

Martin couldn’t begin to fathom how much it must cost. His mother would always complain whenever he had grown a bit more and needed new trousers again. She would lament for the whole trip that buying new clothes for a growing child was such a waste of money.

Seeing the Moorland House as it was, the boy was sure that the Lukas didn’t lack any money. So that wasn’t a concern for them. Still, they spent so much money on him. It wasn’t something Martin was used to. In his few days here, he had already gotten much more than he would normally in a whole year.

Thus, it made him nervous whenever he remembered Nathaniel’s words.

Three months.

If he didn’t pass those, Peter wouldn’t be allowed to keep him. And then what? Would he have to return all the money? There was no way the boy had so much money. He didn’t even have anywhere to return to.

At some point Nathaniel had wordlessly slapped some papers on the nightstand in Martin’s room. He barely acknowledged the boy’s presence. As fast as he had come in, the man in his perfectly tailored suit left the room again, only leaving behind some biting words: “You’re on your own now.”

Only when Martin was sure that Nathaniel wouldn’t return, he tiptoed over to the papers and read them.

Certificate of death

It had the name and birthdate of Martin’s mother on it. The date of death was written as a week before Peter had taken Martin with him.

The boy wasn’t sure if his mother was truly dead or not but he knew that she was gone. Just like his father. It was just a certainty with the way the Lukas family acted.

What Martin knew for sure was that he was all on his own now. He had to be a good boy if he wanted to stay with the Lukas.

Martin knew how to be a good boy. He had always known how to behave, first for his parents, later only for his mother.

He couldn’t bear the thought of just being cast out onto the street with nowhere left to go. So, he would be a good boy.

Even though it scared him how perfect everything was.

Martin had gotten a bedroom of his own that was even bigger than his old living room used to be. The closet in it was being filled with new clothes for him by the day. Furthermore, he had an adjacent private room, where he could play, read, or do whatever he could on his own.

“How do you like it?” Peter had asked in his cheerful tone. He had taken the boy on his arms again.

Martin wasn’t repulsed by the contact. It was a very gentle touch despite the rough appearance of Peter.

“It’s ... nice,” the kid gingerly answered.

It was way too big. Two rooms all for himself. That didn’t feel right.

But Martin wouldn’t voice it as he didn’t want to upset his d— the man. No, not yet. For now, it was still just ‘Peter’.

Martin was scared to be too attached before he knew whether he could stay permanently or not.

Peter just nodded and walked towards the bookshelf. He looked through it before he pointed to a few older books. “I read some of these when they were younger. I never wanted anyone to throw them away, now you get to have them. I hope you’ll like them as well.”

Martin nodded heartily.

Books were the things that interested him the most. He loved reading. With the amount of books he had seen in this house, he couldn’t imagine him ever finishing all of them – which also meant he would never be bored here!

It seemed to match with what Peter was thinking as he smiled when he put Martin down.

He took out one of the books he had just mentioned and handed it to the boy. “Here you go.”

The big man dropped himself into the armchair in the room.

Martin smiled at him and climbed onto the fainting couch. He felt Peter’s tender gaze on him and he happily began reading.

As it was still early summer, the Moorland House was cold most of the time. But Martin didn’t mind it. Having Peter next to him, it was still comfortable.

The atmosphere was peaceful and there was no looming presence or the fear that something would break the quiet without warning.

The book Peter had picked was a shorter one. It was about a girl living in the forest and getting everything she needed from the nature around her. The villagers nearby were afraid of her, thinking of her as a witch. But as the story follows the girl, she was just simply happy with the way she was living, not caring about whatever anyone thought of her.

Martin wished he had the same carefree attitude like the girl. While he had learned not to show emotions when other children would bully him, it still got to him.

Speaking about the other children – would he even be going to his old school anymore?

Martin raised his head and turned towards Peter.

“Do I—? Oh.”

The boy blinked a few times but the chair next to him was empty. Had he been so engrossed by the book that he didn’t notice the man leaving?

Martin chewed on his lower lip. Had he been impolite? What if Peter had wanted to talk to him and he had just been reading instead?

For a moment, the boy considered going to Peter’s room. He had been told that the next two rooms were Peter’s but he hadn’t been there yet. What if he was bothering the man?

The comfort Martin had been feeling by just quietly sitting next to Peter and reading was gone and a familiar weight on his chest was back. A feeling of distress spread in him.

Next time he would be more observant. He would pay more attention to what Peter wanted and not let him leave like that.

In that moment, the silence in the house was almost deafening.

The only times it was not quiet in Martin’s rooms was whenever Evan came over.

It was two weeks in when he was lying on the fainting couch with a book that had a lot of words and almost no pictures. Martin felt almost like an adult.

The cold of the Moorland House didn’t even bother him anymore. Heavy curtains blocked out almost all of the sunlight and Martin had only moved them slightly to have enough light to read.

The door opened without a knock.

Peter would normally knock. It also wasn’t wildly swung open as Nathaniel would do. Instead it was slow and deliberately making no sound.

Martin peeked over the rim of the book at his new cousin as he muttered: “You shouldn’t be here.”

That was something he had learned very quickly. Every family member liked being on their own. No one in the family ate together or did anything together at all. Sometimes they’d even go out of their way to not see each other as they valued their solitude.

It had taken three more times until Martin was sure that he had paid attention and Peter had still disappeared from the room. Every time it left the boy behind with a strong feeling of loneliness. But if he had done something wrong, Peter never told him, he was at least sure of that. Thus, he knew that after a while of spending time together, the man just wanted to be by himself.

Through all the things he had observed, Martin knew that Evan was different from the rest of the family.

“Aw, don’t be like that! I brought cards over!” Evan grinned and rattled with a box of cards.

Before Martin could even answer, the boy had waltzed into the room and flung the curtains open. Sun shone on Evan’s bright red shirt.

Martin rolled his eyes. But he smiled and put his book away. It wasn’t a bad thing that his cousin was different.

It was fun playing with Evan.

While they did so, the boy could tell Martin a lot about the family. He explained how they were a really big family but rarely met each other. Normally they only met at funerals. Even Evan had trouble remembering who each family member was. He also couldn’t tell Martin anything about the one that was buried a few weeks ago.

Another thing that Martin had also already surmised was that the Lukas were really rich. Because of that, Evan had never gone to a public school before. He had always been home-schooled, in this very estate.

So, in return, Martin told him of school life, of commuting, and at some point, he also told Evan of his bullies.

Martin hadn’t want to do so at first. He was afraid of his cousin turning up his nose on him. But everything was so easy with Evan that Martin didn’t stop telling him about his life before Peter.

While it felt so distant to Martin now, Evan got worked up in Martin’s stead: “Since you’re a Lukas now, I don’t think you’ll ever have to return to that awful place!”

Martin giggled and nodded. He pushed down the rising dread that he was still at Nathaniel’s mercy for now. If he mentioned it now, Evan would just start ranting about his father again. Hearing his cousin bad-mouthing his father only scared Martin even more. Hence, the boy kept quiet about the fear that tied a knot into his stomach.

Suddenly, Evan’s eyes lit up. Hit with realization, he asked: “That reminds me, have you seen the rest of the house yet?”

Martin shook his head, glad about the distraction. He only had been in his rooms. His meals were brought here by a quiet lady. Was it a lady? Or was it a young man? Martin couldn’t quite remember.

Evan almost jumped at that. “Let’s explore the house then! You need to know where you live, after all! And if you need anything, you should know how to get it without having to ask anyone!”

That would be indeed very helpful.

Still, Martin hesitated. “Are we allowed, though? I was told to stay in my rooms ...”

“Oh, silly, it’s our house, of course we can!” Evan shouted. He was already packing away the cards. “Let’s go, Marto!”

Martin blinked. What did Evan just call him? “Marto”? Was that a nickname? No one had ever called the boy by a nickname before. At least not with some loathe behind it.

He stared at his new cousin.

Evan was already by the door and beckoned Martin with a bright grin. There was no contempt in his demeanor.

Marto.

Martin didn’t wait for his cousin to call him for a second time. He jumped up and followed.

Despite his bold declarations, the moment the boys left the room, Evan moved as inconspicuous as possible through Moorland House.

The more he tried to be quiet, the more Martin’s nervousness returned.

“Evan, should we really ...?”

“Shush!” The other kid stopped and turned around to Martin. “I’m just trying to keep father out of my hair. Everything else is alright! But you need to follow my lead.”

Martin took a breath. He looked Evan in the eye. Then he looked past the boy into the unfamiliar hallways. He was very curious how the rest of the estate looked like. If they did get in trouble, it would at least be together. So, Martin looked back and nodded.

Evan’s grin lit up the place.

“Great! Follow me, then. I’ll keep an eye out for both of us. Put your hand on my back so that I know you’re still behind me!”

And so Martin did. He placed his hand on Evan’s warm back and together they sneaked over the soft carpets of the hallways.

Martin learned of the family member’s rooms, the biggest library, the attic, and all the other nooks and crannies in which Evan liked to hide whenever he was running from trouble.

The house was much bigger than Martin had imagined and he knew for sure that he would get lost if not for his cousin. Also thanks to his cousin the size of the house didn’t make Martin feel as small.

“And this door leads outside,” Evan whispers from the front. “The weather is the worst today but we should play outside when the weather gets better again! There is a great pond over there and there are so many frogs!”

“Frogs? Really?” Martin asked in a hushed voice. “I don’t think I’ve heard them yet.”

“Yeah, that’s the worst part about this house! You can’t even hear what’s going on outside! But you’ll hear the frogs if you’re right by the pond!”

Evan infected Martin with excitement. The house had already been beautiful enough and the boy couldn’t wait to see what was outside and around the house.

“You boys having fun?” a cheerful voice interrupted them. The temperature around them immediately dropped.

Both kids flinched and turned around.

Martin’s hand slipped away from Evan’s back.

Peter was standing there in the middle of the hallway. He was wearing a coat in the house as if he was about to leave. He always looked like he was about to leave. Both of his hands were in the pockets of his trousers. A vapid smile was on his lips.

Martin immediately cast his eyes down. This was not good. He hadn’t heeded the house’s rules.

“I’m sorry. I left my room,” he muttered almost inaudible.

His nails dug into his collared shirt. He shouldn’t have done this. He shouldn’t have ...

Peter’s cold hand on his head made him jump.

The man had gone down on one knee and ruffled his hair. “Oh no, I don’t mind you having fun with your cousin.´! He knows what is important to a Lukas after all, don’t you, Evan?”

Evan inhaled sharply.

Martin could feel his cousin tense behind him.

But Evan seemed to be nodding as he stuttered: “Yes! Yes, of course I know!”

“Very good. You two are very good boys.” Peter smiled at them. He gathered Martin up into his arms.

Martin always felt so light when Peter picked him up.

“I was mostly wondering where you have wandered off to. How about us watching a movie tonight?”

Martin looked at the man with big eyes and nodded. He was still baffled that he hadn’t been shouted at. Although he broke the rules, he wasn’t even berated for that.

Instead, he looked into Peter’s smiling eyes.

It made Martin smile as well. He leaned against the man’s shoulder as a sort of hug.

Over the broad shoulder, he looked back at Evan, still standing in the barren hallway.

The boy gingerly waved at Martin.

There was something in the slumped shoulders of Evan that made Martin feel a hollow pull in his chest.

He reached out and wanted to call for his cousin as he felt Peter shifting and holding him tighter.

“Martin,” the man called out his name in the familiar jovial tone.

Martin blinked. A shiver run down his spine and he suppressed a shudder.

There had been the rumbling undertone of a threat that he knew so well from his mother. He didn’t dare to challenge it.

So, Martin tore his gaze away from Evan’s cheerless smile.

As they left his cousin alone in the hallway, he felt a strange satisfaction radiating from Peter. It somehow rubbed off on Martin because for some reason he felt a bit stronger than before.

He hid his face in Peter’s soft coat and inhaled the smell of the sea that always clung to the man.

The nights at Moorland House were still very bad.

His bedroom was too big. Actually, everything was too big.

When Martin laid awake at night, the darkness seemed to stretch on forever. Even when he turned on his nightlight, it felt like it didn’t reach the far corners.

In was in these nights that Nathaniel’s words hit even more.

He was alone now. He had no blood relative left. He was a bad son.

Over the days he never spent any thoughts to his mother. Instead, he enjoyed himself with either Peter or Evan.

But was if his mother was still around? What if she was searching for him? Would she even search for him?

Martin didn’t know. He hoped she would. He knew she wouldn’t.

In nights like those, Martin cried himself to sleep.

He had held back in the first days. Trying his best to be strong. To not let anything get to him. But after a while, the nights were too long. Too lonely.

It was after a few more nights that Martin left bed in hopes it would keep him from crying.

It began with him pacing around the room until he was tired enough to go back to sleep.

Later on, he’d go to the other room to read a bit to distract himself. It would help him fall asleep on the fainting couch.

In this night, nothing helped at all.

Martin paced between his two rooms, unsure what he should do. None of the books grabbed him enough to keep his attention.

His breath hitched and he forced to calm himself. He wouldn’t cry. Not tonight. He would not cry today.

His steps were muffled by the thick carpet. His only light source was his nightlight in the other room.

The silence around him was not the usual comforting blanket. It was suffocating him instead.

Counting the seconds every time he breathed in and out, Martin’s gaze kept on wandering to the wall that separated him and Peter.

Should he ...?

No, he shouldn’t.

But before Martin knew it, he had left his room and tiptoed over to Peter’s.

All the doors in this house opened silently, so the man wasn’t waken by Martin opening his door.

That was where the boy stopped. It felt like overstepping a boundary.

He shouldn’t be here.

He shouldn’t be disturbing someone’s restful sleep. Gods knew that his mother certainly didn’t like being disturbed.

Also, what would Evan say if he knew that Martin went to Peter because he couldn’t sleep? Until now, the other boy hadn’t harassed him for anything yet. But what if Evan just hadn’t found the right thing to tease Martin with yet?

All of his classmates had turned against him over time after all. What made him sure that Evan wouldn’t do the same?

Martin held his breath. His hand clung to the doorknob.

He shouldn’t think like that about his cousin.

He focused on Peter’s quiet snore to distract himself instead.

He didn’t know how long he stood there.

After a while, Martin knew that this was enough.

Just hearing someone else in this house made Martin know that he wasn’t alone.

As Peter shifted in his sleep, Martin closed the door again and went back to his own bed.

Moorland House had always been a place Peter felt comfortable at. Despite having so many people wandering around, everyone was doing their own thing and they barely met.

If it wasn’t for Nathaniel constant nagging about various things, it would be even better.

Peter seriously couldn’t understand how Nathaniel could worry about so many things when even his father, the head of the family, was letting everyone do as they pleased.

Nonetheless, it was a good place to be.

Even if the captain missed his ship already. But this was a good place for Martin. Peter had watched his son getting used to the estate and befriending Evan with satisfaction. Martin fit right in.

The sailor was sure that he had made the right choice by keeping the boy. The three months surely would go by like a breeze without any problem.

The only thing bothering him was that he hadn’t been sleeping well the past few days. He was still sleeping like a stone. A weird habit whenever he wasn’t out on the sea. But something was wrong.

He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was.

For some reason, he felt watched.

That shouldn’t be a thing. Not here at the stronghold of the Lukas. There was no way Beholding could take root here.

Still, Peter couldn’t shake the weird feeling. If only he didn’t fall asleep the moment he laid down. Then he might be able to find out what it was.

After almost a week like that, the sailor was determined to find out what bothered him so.

It wasn’t easy as the moment he was on the hard mattress, he felt his eyes slowly close.

No.

He had to stay awake.

He was sure that the feeling he had over the day was from the night.

Peter counted seconds. Then breaths. He constantly slipped away, either into the Lonely or into drowsiness.

So, when the door opened, he was barely awake.

A thin strip of light fell into the room.

Peter turned. He blinked a few times against the light from outside. It took a moment until his eyes adjusted.

But then the little round figure by the door was unmistakable.

Surprised, the captain sat up. “Martin?”

The boy flinched. He squeaked a prompt “Sorry!” and was ready to run away again.

“Wait!” Peter quickly shouted after him as one hand fumbled to turn on the nightlight.

Martin hesitated. He stood a moment longer by the door. Then he slowly walked towards the bed, not quite meeting Peter’s eyes.

Confused, the sailor stared at his son.

He saw Martin’s fingers digging into his little pajama. Something the boy would always do whenever he was afraid and ready to be chewed out.

Peter sighed. It would take a while until he could make Martin feel safe here and show his son that no one would be screaming at him or hitting him here.

“Why are you here?” he asked, trying to be as cheery as possible. It was his best way to show Martin that he was in no trouble.

“I ...” Martin began. He seemed reluctant to say it. His head hung low on his shoulders. After a long pause, he whispered: “I can’t sleep.”

“Oh.”

Peter finally noticed the tear stains on his son’s cheeks. He reached out to gently wipe them away.

Martin was so warm against his cold hand.

Right.

No matter how perfect the little boy was, it would still take a long time until he was like someone who grew up in the Lukas family.

Peter place his hands on Martin’s side and hoisted him onto the bed. A smile was on his lips as he saw his son’s big eyes got even bigger in surprise. “Come here,” he murmured softly. “Don’t tell Nathaniel about it.”

Before Martin could even protest, Peter had tucked him in and laid back down. He pulled the boy close and stroke his hair. “It’s alright. Try to sleep, Martin.”

Now that he knew what was watching him, Peter couldn’t stay awake much longer.

Just before he drifted to sleep, he felt Martin relax in his arms.

Then the boy muttered a quiet response: “Good night, Peter.”

Chapter Text

After Martin had gotten used to the house and the family, Peter had insisted on him starting to be home-schooled as well. It was another long argument between him and Nathaniel. While the captain wanted it immediately, his cousin wanted to wait until the three months were over.

Their shouting broke the silence of the Moorland House so much that not even Evan dared to come visit Martin during that time.

Martin himself was fidgeting just by the door of his room. He wanted to tell Peter that it was alright, that he could wait. But he couldn’t even leave his room as he was too scared.

Every time the shouting got even louder, he’d freeze by his door and almost run back into his room. He only stayed where he was because he didn’t want Peter to be arguing because of him.

Martin didn’t even know how long it went on for until the old man walked past him. He hadn’t looked that way but when it immediately got cold in the hallway, the boy turned around.

The old man who had shut up both Peter and Nathaniel on the day of the funeral – the family head – walked towards his son’s office. Fog followed him wherever he stepped. It was so quiet that Martin thought he had gone deaf.

The chill made the boy shudder. Still, for some reason, he wasn’t afraid. Instead, he went quiet with the old man and just watched him walk.

The moment the old man was near Nathaniel’s office, the two arguing men had fallen silent as well. When he stepped in, the rest of the hallway was shrouded in fog.

That was the cue for Martin go back inside his room, close the door, and ignore it.

He took one of the books on the lower shelf and tried to read. It wasn’t very successful as his thoughts kept wandering to Peter. Though the book kept him distracted for at least a little bit.

It was silent for a long while.

The first thing to cut through the silence again was a knock on his door.

The boy immediately jumped to his feet and looked at it eagerly. Only Peter knocked at his door.

It was indeed Peter who came in a moment later. He had a smile on his face and immediately strode in with big steps to take the boy on his arms.

“You’re going to start having classes tomorrow,” he proclaimed in his usual cheery tone.

Peter’s arms were much colder than normally. Even though the temperature around them had gotten warmer again. Martin even felt that the man was shivering lightly.

“I’m sure it is going to be different for you since you won’t have any classmates. Laura just teaches the children in their rooms all by themselves. But you look forward to learning new things, don’t you?”

Martin nodded. While he learned a lot from the books around him, being told things sometimes made it much easier. He was also determined to cherish the lessons as Peter had fought so valiantly for him to get them.

“Great!” Peter nodded as well and smiled at Martin. Just when he wanted to put the boy down again, Martin quickly clung to him.

“Oh?”

“You’re cold,” the boy muttered.

Peter’s chest rumbled with a low chuckle. “I’m sorry. Shouldn’t I let you go even more then?”

Martin shook his head and snuggled even closer. He didn’t know how to tell Peter that he wanted to warm the man up, especially with the difference in their body sizes.

While he was still struggling to find the right words, Peter seemed to have understood. He hummed happily and with Martin in his arms, he dropped himself into the armchair.

In the end, the boy didn’t find the right words, but it was alright for them to stay in silence with each other.

It was one of the days in which Peter didn’t disappear from Martin’s sight.

Laura Lukas was an old lady with such a furrowed face that Martin was scared to just look at her.

“Old hag,” Evan would call her under his breath when he was at Martin’s after a lesson. With an annoyed stare to mask the tears in his eyes, Evan would massage the red stripes on his hands.

Knowing that his cousin received the same treatment, it made Martin at least feel like Laura’s bad mood was not because of him – in contrast to the times he met Nathaniel.

Still, Martin was scared of his new teacher and would keep his gaze down on his notes during the whole lesson.

What Laura taught him was interesting, he could not deny it. Despite her croaky voice, when she was telling him about something, it would not be monotonous. It was quiet, but there was a certain passion behind it. It was definitely better than just reading it in the books because Martin was allowed to ask questions.

She didn’t even force him to look at her when he had one.

But the thing Laura was very strict with, was handwriting. Something both Evan and Martin were no good at.

“Hands out,” the old lady demanded with a stick in her own. She had just checked his notes and had found them lacking.

Martin swallowed. He slid down from his chair and obediently held his hands out. He couldn’t look at it, though, so he turned his head away and closed his eyes.

Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.

Three quick hits in succession with the stick.

Martin’s hands burned and tears had welled up in his eyes. It was better than everything else, he’d tell himself. It still hurt.

The boy only swallowed again. He didn’t complain and just climbed back onto his chair.

The lesson continued. With his throbbing hand, Martin did his best to keep his writing from wobbling. If he wasn’t careful, Laura would show no mercy again.

It still ended up being two more times.

At least Martin prided himself in not crying. There were still tears in his eyes when Laura left for the day and went on to Evan’s lessons. But he had managed not to cry this time.

With the back of his hand, he wiped away the tears before they could fall and focused on his notes before him.

For now, it was mostly basic stuff like maths and grammar. It was interesting enough. Sometimes Laura would also start on the Lukas family history. It was much more than Evan had been able to tell him. Those little snippets his teacher was telling were the ones he’d write down the most detailed.

There seemed to be only a handful of people important enough for Laura to mention by name. Martin could at least remember those. It didn’t seem like he would ever be quizzed on anything he learned here but he was very curious about the family that he was hopefully soon going to be a part of.

It almost made the pain in his hands worth it. He would not talk about it – maybe except to Evan – and he would learn. That was all he could do and he would do it.

Peter remembered that he used to eat alone most of his childhood. In a big estate like this with a dining room that could easily host twenty people, eating on your own was the perfect way to feel loneliness.

He knew that Nathaniel also expected him to leave Martin alone like they were as children. But the captain couldn’t do that. He had to make sure the boy was eating properly.

Also, if they were eating, he would be more present.

Whenever they spent time together in Martin’s room, Peter would feel so comfortable that he started to fade away.

Martin would then always think that he had already left. Thus, he didn’t want to scare the boy by randomly appearing again.

Things were changing now, though.

Ever since Martin was taking his lessons with Laura, the boy had begun to understand. Lately, when Martin finished a book, he’d look up and stared right at where Peter had been sitting before with his adorable big round eyes.

Then he’d always carefully ask: “Can you please come back, Peter?”

Most of the time, his soft voice alone was enough to bring the captain back. But even on days when Peter would stay in the Lonely a bit longer, Martin would simply wait. The boy would not leave his fainting couch until Peter appeared again.

Whenever the captain saw that, he would walk over to his son and take him in his arms. Martin’s warmth always grounded him much faster than everything else.

There was one time, when Martin even refused to eat until Peter was back. It ended up being way past midnight on that day and the kid was barely staying awake. Yet, he had stubbornly waited.

Ever since then, the captain always made an effort to at least have dinner with his son. Sometimes, when he knew that the rest of his family was busy with something else, it would also be for lunch.

Today was such a day. Since he knew that Laura would be finished with Martin’s lessons by now and had gone on to Evan, he knocked at his son’s door.

Martin hadn’t noticed him yet when he came in. Instead, the boy was focused on this notebook on the floor. If only Martin used his desk a bit more. That posture surely wasn’t good for his back.

Peter smiled and cleared his throat. “I really appreciate you being so diligent, but I think it is time for you to eat something.”

The boy’s head jerked up. He blinked blankly for a moment before it turned into a bright smile. “Oh. Yes. Thank you, Peter.” He shuffled to his feet and put his school supplies away.

The captain’s gaze fell onto Martin’s hands. Familiar red stripes were blemishing the palms.

Peter felt anger rise in him while he still tried to keep his voice calm: “Martin, what is that on your hands?”

“Huh?”

The boy froze. He didn’t even look down when he whipped around to Peter and hid his hands behind his backs. “Ehm ... nothing?” he tried.

Peter wouldn’t have that. Within two big steps, he was by his son. Carefully, he pulled the hands forward and inspected them. When his thumbs touched the red stripes, Martin flinched.

It surely must still hurt.

“Laura did this, didn’t she.” It wasn’t even a question.

 Peter remembered the days he was taught by Laura. If he was quite honest, he didn’t even know how old that hag was. She was ancient.

But he would not let Martin suffer through his relative’s absurdly high standard.

“LAURA!”

The captain stormed out of the room. She should be in Evan’s rooms right now. Currently the family only had the two boys in Moorland House, after all.

“P-Peter, wait!” Martin’s voice rang out next to him. It was meek and slightly desperate.

In this moment, the man didn’t care about that. He had to make sure that Laura would not hit his son another time. He didn’t even know how many times it had been already; he had just seen it today.

Next to him, he could feel his son trying to grab him by his legs. Peter moved carefully to not hurt Martin but he wouldn’t be stopped. Even if it brought his uncle – the family head – on the scene again.

Before he reached Evan’s rooms, Laura was already standing there in the hallway, staring at him with a disapproving look. Had it been many years earlier, Peter would have flinched and retreated.

Now, he walked right up to her, instead. He had grown and was a whole head taller. He stared down at her and demanded: “You are not going to hit my son anymore. If you have any problems, talk to me first.”

Laura stared back. Her expression was cold and unmoving.

Peter gritted his teeth. Naturally, the person who was the most stone-faced of the family would be teaching the kids. It was a wise decision from the family, sure, but right now, he couldn’t stand it.

So, his voice got louder, when he continued: “He should learn from you, not be scarred by you! I didn’t argue with Nathaniel and get scolded by uncle just to regret my decision!”

Actually, he didn’t know how to tell Laura to stop. It was not like he had anything he could threaten her with. Or maybe he had ...? What if he threatened with James? That would definitely get him in trouble with Nathaniel. But if it was just a threat with no follow-up ...

“Fine, then I won’t hit Martin Lukas anymore.”

Peter blinked. He didn’t think it would be that easy. He opened his mouth to say something. It stayed stuck in his throat for another moment.

His gaze wandered to the door where Evan had appeared and was watching everything with curiosity.

Peter knew his face had slipped. Quickly, he did his best to regain his composure and nodded. “Good. You better remember it,” he growled at Laura.

Then, he turned around. As Martin was standing frozen behind him, a few steps away, he gathered his son into his arms.

Martin’s warmth grounded him, after all.

“Tell me immediately, when she hits you again,” he muttered as he tilted his head lightly to feel Martin’s soft hair on his cheek.

“O-okay,” the boy promised quietly.

Peter felt a movement on his shoulder. With a glance, he saw that Martin was waving at Evan.

Oh.

Right.

Evan.

Peter had immediately jumped to Martin’s defense, but he hadn’t considered the collateral damage. He knew that Nathaniel would never do that for Evan.

The strong wave of loneliness he felt on his back told him, that Evan knew as well.

The captain pressed his lips onto each other and hurried on a bit more.

He knew they were all feeding on Evan. As a family. As a whole. Evan was struggling so much with The Forsaken that he had involuntarily become a good prey for them.

The captain wouldn’t let that happen to Martin. He would raise him right. He would show him how to be comfortable with being by himself. He wouldn’t let the child he rescued suffer more under his care.

Yet, Peter couldn’t help but doing the little things that were detrimental to serving The Forsaken. Like every time he had Martin in his arms when they walked through the house, so that the boy wouldn’t get lost in the hallways. Or like when Peter allowed him to sleep in his bed in the nights. He really shouldn’t ...

But he couldn’t keep Martin from associating with Evan, either. Maybe it was his way of having pity with Nathaniel’s son. He should keep the boys apart, but he couldn’t.

Still, he wouldn’t fail as a dad. That was what he promised himself.

And so, Martin learned and learned. He learned of The Forsaken. The patron of the Lukas family that protected them as long as a price was paid. It explained so much about Peter and the rest of the family and suddenly Martin didn’t feel scared at all anymore.

It was a comforting thought to have someone ... something watch over you and provide you safety as needed.

Martin had already not minded the silence in the house and now that he knew why it was so silent, he enjoyed it even more. That was also why he was not afraid anymore when Peter disappeared from his room. It became routine and if he waited long enough, the man calling himself his dad would return.

He would always return.

Martin only had to believe that.

That was no problem, though, as it was easy to believe it when it came to Peter. Thanks to the way he always protectively held Martin with his big arms, both whenever they walked the hallways but also at night, the little boy knew he was safe. By now Martin’s pillow and blanket were always left in Peter’s room, too, and the man didn’t show any signs of telling the boy to finally sleep in his own bed.

The only time Peter would actually leave the estate was when he was taking a walk outside. It was different to be alone in a house where you knew other people were living, just out of sight, compared to being alone somewhere in the moor with not a single soul around you.

Martin had come to understand that.

Whenever he knew that Peter wasn’t around, he would be reading in his room and waiting for dinner as if his adoptive dad was in the same room as him.

On some other days, he would be staring at the ceiling while lost in thought and then fall asleep at some point.

It was a good life. No one would bother him. He could spend as much time by himself as he wanted to if he just locked his door or do something similar. Everyone would get the cue. Nothing was really expected of him and he was well-cared for.

Even the fog that sometimes gathered in his room was friendly now. It was like a blanket that kept him safe from everything else. Letting himself fall into it was so very easy and good.

Ever since Martin was also in the house, everything felt so much better for Evan. He had been the only kid for so long that he forgot how kids are supposed to be like. He had read about it in books but never really experienced it. As Nathaniel was going to be the head of the family at some point, Evan had always been expected to be perfect. That was not easy at all as a Lukas – not if you hated the patron your family had decided to serve.

But now he had Martin. His kid cousin Martin. At some point they found out that Evan was several years older, and Martin had told him that he initially thought they would be the same age.

Evan huffed at the thought. Martin had such a baby face! There was no way one could think they were the same age! Evan certainly did not have a baby face!

It still made him smile.

Having the other boy around was a blessing.

Evan also loved how well Peter was taking care of the boy. While it always left a bitter taste in Evan’s mouth to know that his father would never treat him like that, he was very happy for his kid cousin.

Like many other times, Evan was on his way to Martin’s rooms after his own lesson ended. It was earlier than normally, so it would still be a while before Peter came to fetch Martin for dinner.

If Evan didn’t know better, he would be running through the hallways. But too much agitation would make the rest of the family take notice. That was something he avoided at all costs.

But by now he knew how fast he could walk and still let the carpet muffle his steps. He was amazing at sneaking around Moorland House.

Just when he turned around the corner, he noticed the fog seeping out from the crack of the door to Martin’s room.

No.

Evan gasped. The next moment, he was running towards the room.

“Marto!” he called out in a whisper, still too scared to be loud, as he tore open the door.

A wall of fog rolled out from the room, immediately chilling him to the bone. From where he stood, he couldn’t see his cousin.

How Evan hated it.

The cold fog had never been a comforting blanket for him. It was so uncomfortable and oppressing – why would no one else in his family see it?

But right now, he pushed all those thoughts to the side. Martin was in there. He had to get Martin out.

Taking a deep breath, Evan stepped over the threshold through the door. It felt like stepping into ice cold water. He suppressed a shudder and walked forward.

He should not be distracted. He should only think of Martin. The fainting couch wasn’t far from the door, he knew that. Even if everything looked different now, this was only fog. Martin hadn’t been part of the family long enough yet, it was only an illusion. Everything would be alright.

“Marto?” Evan called out again, this time a bit louder. “Hey! Do you want to go out and see the frogs?”

A few more steps. Only a bit more and he would be where Martin normally was.

“I’m not a big fan of playing hide-and-seek, you know? Come on, Marto!”

“... Evan?”

Just before Evan ran into the couch and Martin, he could see his kid cousin sitting up.

A book on his stomach slid off and fell to the ground.

The thump was quieter than the way the carpet would usually muffle it.

“There you are!” Evan put on a smile and crouched down to take Martin’s hand. It was still warm and soft. Thank god.

He watched the boy rub his eyes with the free hand and grinned. “Were you sleeping?”

“Hn? Oh, yeah, I must have fallen asleep ...”

Martin yawned and as the fog withdrew, Evan felt relief wash over him. It wasn’t intentional. Martin wasn’t feeling lonely. It was alright. Everything was alright.

Still, Evan had to make sure: “Hey. Tell me. What am I to you?”

“What?” Confused, Martin looked at Evan. He was still blinking his daze away. “You are ... my cousin?”

“Good. Don’t forget that.” Evan squeezed his kid cousin’s hand. “Because to me, you are also my cousin – and my friend. Don’t ever forget that, okay?”

“Friend?”

For some reason, Martin looked so astounded by it that it made Evan laugh.

“Best friends even, if you want!”

The slow smile that dawned on the young boy’s face made Evan silently swear to himself that he would always protect his kid cousin. Even more, when Martin’s was louder than normally when he replied: “Yes, I want to be your best friend!”

It was all good.

Evan would be there for Martin if the family ever tried to claim him.

Chapter Text

The days marched on and became warmer, allowing Martin and Evan to be outside much more. It was mostly between the boys’ lessons during lunch. Just after Laura at Martin’s and before she went on to Evan.

 While Martin was nervous about it in the beginning, it was Peter who told him that it was alright.

“You two boys shouldn’t be confined to the house. Go out! See nature! Enjoy it!” he encouraged his son.

Having Peter’s permission made Martin less anxious about going out with his cousin. It didn’t matter to him if Nathaniel didn’t like it. He already had the feeling that the man would never like him at all, after all.

“Wanna practice stone skipping again?”

“Yes!”

Martin nodded excitedly. It was something he was good at.

Evan would always be a bit offended by it whenever Martin would win the day’s bet. But it would also never last too long and it always made the boy happy, when his cousin’s face went from a pout to a bright smile.

Today, when they were running towards the pond, Martin felt being watched. He stopped and turned around, letting his hand that always found Evan so easily slip from his cousin’s back.

Nathaniel was standing by one of the windows. From the second floor, he looked down at the two children. Even through the slightly fogged glass and the darkness of the estate’s hallways, Martin could see the judging look on the man’s face.

With a pursed lip, he looked how his son pulled his cousin along.

It would be something Martin was used to nowadays. He knew he was still being scrutinized by Nathaniel as the three months were not over yet. It maybe wouldn’t stop, even after the three months were over.

Thus, Martin wasn’t too worried about it anymore. Especially if Peter’s increasing cheeriness and Nathaniel’s increasing pettishness was something to go by.

But the moment Martin saw the figure next to Nathaniel, he flinched. Nathaniel’s father, Evan’s grandfather – his granduncle.

Under the old man’s gaze, Martin always felt like he couldn’t breath anymore. A cold stare that made him realize how alone he was. No matter how little he minded being alone now, whenever the family head was looking at him, he was scared again. He was so small under the piercing gaze.

Martin jumped, when Evan suddenly grabbed his hand. He looked to his cousin who had stopped as well.

It only took Evan a few seconds to find the same window Martin had found. As he recognized which relatives were there, a scowl came to his face. A perfect mirror of his father.

Martin held his breath.

The tension between Evan and Nathaniel was a scary as the presence of the family head. Maybe the boys should head back inside. They could go to the pond on another day. Today also seemed good enough to simply read a book.

Just when Martin wanted to tug on Evan’s arm, his cousin bent forward and stuck out his tongue towards the men.

Martin snorted.

Quickly, his hand shot up to muffle the sound. His eyes darted back to his uncle.

The indignation was written all over Nathaniel’s face. He got ready to come outside to berate his son.

Meanwhile, the family head had stayed still. But when their gazes met, Martin was chilled to the bone.

The kid squeezed Evan’s hand harder. It was answered in the same way. Both of them seemed to be frozen in place by the stare, waiting in terror for the scolding.

Martin swallowed. They definitely overdid it.

That was when he saw Nathaniel stop. The man turned around to talk to someone. A moment later, the person he was talking to could be seen from the window.

Peter.

The man was happily chatted up Nathaniel. Even the family head turned over to answer to something Peter had said.

Warmth rose in Martin’s chest. Peter would always protect him. For some reason, the boy knew exactly that it was the man’s way to tell him that it was alright to go play with Evan.

Hence, Martin smiled and looked at his cousin. “Shall we go?” he asked.

Evan looked back. For a moment, there was surprise in his face. Soon, his daring grin returned to his face.

“Let’s go!”

With his cousin pulling him along, Martin looked back to Peter one more time who had fully distracted the other two. He could swear he saw a little wink even though the window was fogged up.

Most of the days, it was Evan coming over to Martin’s room. This time, Martin wanted to surprise his cousin.

Ever since he knew that Peter was alright with the boys playing, the kid at least wasn’t anxious about that part anymore.

If he thought about it, he hadn’t been to Evan’s room yet, either. He was curious if his cousin had decorated it in any way. It wouldn’t surprise Martin. Even if he didn’t know how a room in this estate could possibly be decorated.

Martin’s room still looked like on the first day it was assigned to him.

The blue flowered wallpaper made the rooms look darker than they actually were. It was still lovely. Martin couldn’t imagine anything on the wall that would fit the estate’s aesthetic.

Evan had called it dismal many times, though. Thus, he surely must have something to cover up the walls. Martin was curious if that was the case and if yes, where his cousin got it from.

With careful steps, Martin walked the hallways. While Peter was alright with it, the rest of the family did not like seeing the boys spending time with each other. Thus, he had learned from Evan how to peer around the corner before pressing on.

Considering what the Lukas family stood for, Martin fully understood. At the same time, he couldn’t be kept away from his cousin. So, he just avoided being seen.

As Martin sneaked through the corridors, he suddenly felt the temperature around him drop.

The boy shuddered. Granduncle! He didn’t question it for a moment. Frantically, he started looking around. When he saw a cupboard next to him, he didn’t think twice and crawled inside.

As he let the door shut with a quiet clink, he felt the presence of the old man in the hallway. Just in time.

Martin didn’t hear him, though.

It was as still as always.

Cold.

Stifling.

The boy pressed both of his hands on his mouth to keep himself silent. Even if he couldn’t hear the family head, he was sure that he would know if the old man was gone. Because then the temperature around him would rise again.

So, he waited.

The cold crept through the cracks of the cupboard.

Martin began to shiver. He knew that if he could see anything, he would see the fog. Surely, the whole hallways would be covered in fog now.

He couldn’t see anything. The thought suddenly hit Martin. He blinked a few times but it was pitch black around him. When he shifted slightly, he felt the walls press against him.

“Stay there until I get you. I don’t want to see you now,” his mother’s harsh voice rang in his head.

It’s been so long since he had heard her. He had almost forgotten it. Just like how he had almost forgotten her face.

But now it all came back.

His breathing quickened as his chest tightened.

His mother’s voice echoed in his head, making him curl into himself. He had to make himself small. He had to make sure that he wasn’t noticed. Be quiet. Be invisible. The boy kept telling himself that he had to stay inside.

He hid his face in his hands. It didn’t make a difference with the darkness after all. He was all alone here.

Waiting.

Although he didn’t see anything, it felt like the world was spinning.

Just waiting.

His face felt hot against the cold around him.

Waiting until he was allowed to leave again.

He was all alone. All by himself. It was—

Martin’s thoughts came to a grinding halt. He took a deep breath.

It wasn’t bad.

Being on alone gave you freedom to do whatever you want without being judged.

He was protected in the solitude. Laura had repeated that so many times in her lessons. While the fog was always cold, it was a blanket that could hide him. It was with him, even clung to him, and would always linger in some way. He was never truly alone if he accepted the presence of The One Alone.

Despite the tightness of the cupboard, it became easier for Martin to breathe.

He also didn’t have to be afraid of being alone because he had Peter. Peter would always come back to him. Even if it took a while, Peter— his dad would always return.

There was also Evan. His cousin who had promised him to be his best friend. Evan, who would also always be there for him. Who would find him even in the densest fog.

Martin was alone right now, yes. But he wasn’t alone forever. He wasn’t scared of being alone anymore.

As his thoughts cleared, Martin reached out.

His fingertips touched the cold wood. Carefully, he traced it in the dark. He only had to find out where the crack was.

It was interesting. Despite the cupboard being so old, the cracks didn’t let any light in. Unlike the one in his old house.

Here.

Martin felt it. He placed his whole palm on the wood and gave it a push. It opened more easily than he thought.

When the light fell in, his eyes had to adjust for a moment. But he immediately saw Evan on the other side.

His cousin’s face was stricken with worry like on the day he had woken the kid from his nap.

One of Evan’s hands was still on the handle. It seemed like Evan had pulled the door open the same time Martin had pushed.

“There you are!” The voice was just barely more than a sob. “I was looking for you everywhere!”

Had Martin been in here for so long? He was pretty sure that it was still in the middle of Evan’s lesson when he had decided to go to his cousin’s room.

It was hard to tell the time when you’re by yourself in the dark.

Judging from the clear hallway, his granduncle must have passed a long time ago.

Martin couldn’t think about it any longer as Evan flung his arms around the boy’s neck. He was so warm.

Evan immediately shuddered. He flinched back and stared at Martin with terror in his eyes.

“Why are you so cold, Marto?” He demanded to know. His hands gently grabbed Martin’s face as he forced the boy to look at him. “Are you alright? What happened?!”

His fingers that carefully caressed over Martin’s cheeks were so warm. They were so comforting that the boy just closed his eyes and leaned into them.

“Marto,” Evan called out him softly.

When Martin opened his eyes again, he saw tears in his cousin’s eyes. Before he could see anything, Evan let go of his face and took his arm instead.

“Let’s go,” he urged and tugged the boy along.

Martin let himself be pulled. After the first few careful steps, Evan became faster and faster until he was almost running.

“Uncle Peter!” Evan called the moment he barged into the room. “Uncle Peter!”

Peter was on the phone and turned around to the boys with a disapproving look on his face. But the moment he actually saw them, he dropped his phone and rushed forward to take Martin into his arms.

“Martin! Evan, what happened?!”

“I don’t know ... I don’t know ...” Evan’s voice sounded so tiny as he was almost sobbing.

Martin couldn’t see his face as he was pulled into Peter’s embrace, so he couldn’t quite pinpoint it. He didn’t understand why the other two were so worried, either. He knew he was fine with them around. He wasn’t scared anymore. Why were they so scared for him, then?

There was silence for a moment. Martin relished it.

Then, Peter called out in a soft voice: “Come here, too.”

One arm of his let go of Martin to beckon the boy’s cousin.

Martin turned around to see Evan.

For a moment, his older cousin was hesitating, unsure of what to do. That was why Martin reached out as well. “Come.”

His voice made both Peter and Evan turn to him.

His dad carefully stroked his hair. “Are you alright, Martin?”

“Y-yes. I think so.” Martin looked up at Peter.

“Will you tell us what happened then?”

Martin opened his mouth to say that he didn’t know and that everything was fine. But when he saw the gazes of the two people he loved the most, he closed it again to properly think about his answer.

Then, taking a deep breath, he tried his best to explain: “I ... I saw granduncle but I didn’t want him to see me. So, I hid in a cupboard. It was ... dark. It was also so cold. And I was scared. In the beginning, I mean, after I hid. It was so dark and scary. I was so alone.”

Oh. Yes. Now that he talked about it, he felt his fear creeping back.

He clenched his hands to force himself to stay calm. “B-but when I thought of both of you, it got better. I am not scared anymore. I just need to think of you two. And ... and I know that if I behave, the Forsaken will not hurt me, too.”

Martin pressed his lips onto each other once he finished. He would not cry. It was alright.

At least, he tried it.

When Peter and Evan both took a hand of his and eased them open, the tension fell. As did his tears.

Next to him, Evan outright started bawling. Between sobs and hiccups, something like an apology came out. That he wasn’t taking proper care of his kid cousin or something like that. Martin wasn’t very sure. His own sniffling was too loud.

“Come here, both of you.” With a soft sigh, Peter pulled the boys close and hugged them tightly.

The kids returned the hug as they cried their hearts out.

When Martin thought about it later, he was sure that Peter’s body was shaking, too.

“Three months, Nathaniel.”

Peter stood in the corner of his cousin’s office with crossed arms. He watched him signing some papers, filing them, and take out the next stack of documents. As it looked like Nathaniel was going to ignore him even longer, he continued: “The three months are over. Now, let me adopt Martin.”

Only then did Nathaniel let out an annoyed sigh. The first time he acknowledged Peter’s presence ever the captain had come to the office. Nathaniel grabbed some of the papers on the lower shelf and slammed them on his desk.

Peter raised his eyebrows.

He pushed himself away from the corner and walked towards his cousin. In the beginning, his eyes scanned the documents with suspicion. Only after he saw the first few words, he raised his eyebrows and grabbed them.

They were adoption papers. For Martin. With Peter as the father. The papers were finished and signed and there was ... simply no doubt about their relationship anymore.

Peter opened his mouth. He closed it again. Then he looked up to Nathaniel who pointedly looked at his own work and didn’t make eye contact with Peter.

Before the captain could say anything, his cousin already interrupted him: “You weren’t going to ask for my or father’s permission or opinion anyway. If we had opposed it, you would have found another way to adopt the boy.”

Peter smiled. He truly would have found a way. Even if it would have taken much longer.

As it was less resistance than he had expected, he tried to be amicable by asking: “I would still like to hear your and uncle’s opinion. If there is anything I can do to guide Martin along the right path, I will of course comply to the family’s wishes.”

Nathaniel sighed again. This time it was more exhausted. He put the cap on his fountain pen and leaned back in his chair. Still avoiding Peter’s eyes, he answered: “There is not much guidance we need to do with the boy. He is well aligned with the Forsaken and ready to accept it. You have proven to have a good eye for people. But I’m not that surprised, considering that those you have picked as the core crew for your ship are still around.”

Peter puffed his chest at the compliment. It was rare for his cousin to actually say things like that, so he took it all in. “Is that also uncle’s opinion?”

“Well, Martin did pass his test the other day,” Nathaniel replied, a deep scowl on his face. Many would assume he was older than Peter because of it, even though it wasn’t the case. “I mean, he made it out himself, even before Evan found him. He has the right temperament to serve The One Alone. Like that, he’s better than—” Nathaniel cut himself off.

He’s better than Evan.

His cousin didn’t have to say it for Peter to know. Evan had always been a disappointment for Nathaniel. He was just too proud to admit it. Too vain to send his only son away like how Peter’s siblings had been when they were young.

It was not a topic the captain wished to go into. Not since he had started to appreciate Evan more and more. Not since he saw how good the boys were for each other.

Thus, Peter quickly cleared his throat. As he held the documents close to his heart, he asked: “So, I trust you and the others will take care of Martin when I’m back on the Tundra?”

“You’re not going to take him with you?” Nathaniel looked in surprise at his cousin.

“He’s not ready for the ship yet. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to him,” Peter answered immediately. “Here, he can continue his education with Laura. And he’ll at least have Evan as another kid.”

Nathaniel pursed his lips at the mention of his son. But he stayed quiet.

Peter also felt like he had made his point clear enough. Hence, he just nodded at his cousin. With a cheery voice, he said: “Very well, thank you for the paperwork, Nathaniel. I’ll be seeing you.”

Like that, he was out of the office very quick.

He had to get to Martin anyway.

The thought of telling his son the news made his heart soar. Martin had yet to actually call him his dad, but he would give the boy as much time as needed. They were officially family now, everything else could wait.

As always, he found the kid in his room. This time, lying on his stomach on the floor, kicking his leg while going through an encyclopedia.

“What is this one about?” Peter asked with a smile as he sat down on the carpet as well.

“Spiders!” Martin replied with excitement. He looked up with a bright grin. It faded quickly. “Oh. Do you not like them?”

Peter had made a face and just couldn’t get it neutral again. So, he just shrugged. “Not really. But they’re surely interesting to learn about.”

“It is.” Martin nodded. He closed the book and sat up. With his full attention turned to Peter, the captain couldn’t contain a grin.

He held out the documents to his son as he announced: “From today on, you are officially Martin Lukas!”

Watching the disbelief spread over Martin’s face made Peter smile even more.

With shaking hands, the boy reached out to take the papers. His eyes flew across them once. Then one more time. By the third time, there were tears. The disbelief had given way to relief.

Peter wanted to reach out to dry his son’s tears. But as it looked like Martin wanted to say something, he waited.

With quivering lips, Martin quietly asked: “That ... that means ... that means I can call you ‘dad’ now?”

The simple question took Peter’s breath away. Butterflies were in his stomach as he saw at that stricken face.

“Oh, Martin!” Peter swept the boy into his arms and snuggled his face into the soft hair. “I have told you that you can do whenever!”

“But ...” his son’s voice was muffled from his coat, “I was so scared ... I was scared that Nathaniel would send me away ...”

“He won’t anymore. You are a part of the family now. You have already been since the first day I found you.” With his big hand, he caressed Martin’s head. “You are my son, Martin.”

The boy nodded as he clung to him.

Peter’s sweater grew damp around his chest. Martin was crying but the captain wasn’t too worried, as he knew that it was of relief.

They stayed like that until Peter felt Martin relax in his arms. Then he put the boy onto his lap to look.

As the captain became quiet, he saw that Martin was confused for a moment. But the kid masked it quickly with earnest.

Peter smiled lightly and tousled Martin’s hair once more. “This is your home now, I hope you know that. No one can chase you away from here. Even when I’m not here. You belong here and I want to see you here when I return.”

Martin had been nodding along but froze at the last words. “Wh-when you return?”

“Yes. I don’t think I have told you yet. But I am a captain of a ship. And I need to be out on the sea again. So, I will need to leave for a while. It will be ... a few months, I’m afraid.”

“Can’t I come with you?” Martin immediately asked, clinging to Peter’s clothes.

Peter’s first instinct was to agree but he quickly held himself back. No. What if Martin fell off the ship? Or just disappeared somewhere? He wouldn’t put his son in that kind of danger. Even though just the thought of parting with Martin was already gnawing at him.

Still, he had to shake his head. “Maybe when you’re older. Not now. But you will have Evan here.”

It turned quiet in the room.

Martin had lowered his gaze to think about the words. His fingers still dug deep into Peter’s coat.

With a light frown, Peter watched his son. He tasted fear in the air. Something he rarely felt from Martin. At least not in this intensity.

Martin must have noticed, too, because the boy shook himself before he met his dad’s eyes and voiced his thoughts: “You will come back, won’t you?”

The pleading gaze made Peter remember. Martin’s biological father had left the boy. Not completely voluntarily since Peter had had a hand in that. But the boy had been left behind before. He was afraid of being left behind again.

With a soft sigh, the captain smiled at his son. “I will come back, yes. It might take a long while, but I will return. I want to hear everything about your studies and whatever you’ve been up to with Evan when I am back, okay?”

Martin’s nod was still hesitant. “Promise?”

“Pinky promise,” Peter answered without missing a beat and held out his finger.

It made Martin’s face brighten up. The boy hooked his own pinky around Peter’s. He looked straight into Peter’s eyes. The man felt the intention behind hit and laughed quietly.

Martin wanted to make sure that his promise was real and not just something to keep him quiet.

It looked like Peter had to return to Moorland House immediately once he was back on land. He didn’t mind the thought. Instead, he even became a bit bashful, when he asked: “Would you call me ‘dad’ once more?”

Martin’s laughter rang out through the room.

“Yes, dad!”

Peter cherished Martin’s radiant smile and took the memory with him when he returned to the Tundra. While it was good to see his crew again, he missed his son’s presence next to him.

It was the first time he knew the loneliness of leaving your family behind on land while you were sailing. It was an interesting new feeling. It was a good kind of loneliness. Nonetheless, he couldn’t wait to be back with his son.

Chapter Text

The first night after Peter had left was when it really hit Martin that he was alone.

For now.

It was only for now.

His cushion and blanket were still in Peter’s room, and the little boy didn’t want to take them back into his room. So instead, when night fell, he still climbed in his dad’s bed. Leaving the nightlight on, Martin stayed on his side of the king-sized bed.

It felt way too big with only him in it. Although it was the same size of his own bed, he had already been in this one with Peter for so long that he couldn’t remember being on his own anymore.

As he laid there, he stared at the empty side. If he wanted, he could have traced the slight dent Peter’s heavy body had left behind.

Martin had never thought about Peter himself. Not even once had he asked himself what his dad did for a living. With the wealth of the Lukas, he had assumed that Peter was just living here.

Stupid. Adults had to work, obviously.

So, Peter was a captain of a ship. Martin had always felt the hard muscles underneath his dad’s clothes whenever he had hugged him. The image of a sailor did fit him.

But Martin knew too little about anything ship related. He had only seen some cartoons when he still was at hom— no, when he was at his old house. This was his home now.

There was so much Martin wanted to talk about with his dad. There was so much to learn, to really get to know the man named Peter Lukas. But he wasn’t here anymore.

For now, Martin had to remind himself again.

His dad had said that he would be back. He even promised it.

“Pinky promise,” the boy whispered into the silence of the night.

From the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of the darkness of the room where the nightlight didn’t reach.

He shuddered lightly, thinking of his lessons from Laura on the fourteen Fears.

There was no way the Dark would be here.

There was also no way it would reach him. He was a Lukas now and the Lukas were protected by the One Alone.

Martin had no reason to be afraid anymore.

Pulling his blanket tighter around him, the boy took a breath. If he hid in the Lonely, nothing would be able to touch him. He knew that now.

The nightlight shone on his back as he once more looked over to Peter’s side. He already missed his dad dearly.

But it was alright. When his dad returned, he would show him how much he had grown and that he was a dependable boy. He wouldn’t let Peter worry about him so that the captain could concentrate on his work when he was not at Moorland House.

Martin closed his eyes. The skin on his face prickled when it became colder in the room.

He fell asleep and when morning came, he didn’t mind that the window had opened overnight and the fog from outside filled the room.

Being summoned to his father’s office was something Evan always dreaded. While it hurt when Nathaniel ignored him and acted like he didn’t exist, it was less scary than being face to face.

His father took his duty as future family head very seriously and expected the same from the boy. It was something they both knew that it would never happen.

Evan could only indulge himself by imagining that he would take the position with the same pride if the Lukas family wasn’t serving the Lonely. He knew he was fooling himself.

But it made the way the rest of the family treated him more tolerable. He held onto the belief that they would be loving and doting on him if they weren’t bound to being distant.

When he saw the way Peter treated Martin, he had almost forgotten that conviction. But when his uncle also held him in his arms together with his kid cousin, he persuaded himself that Peter was different from the rest of the family.

Aloof Uncle Peter who had always looked like he’d rather be on his ship than here at Moorland House also had a soft side not taken by the Lonely.

Evan was happy for his uncle that he had found something to hold onto. Maybe one day they would see eye to eye that the Lonely wasn’t as great as everyone said.

“Evan!” Nathaniel’s bellow snapped the boy back into his father’s office. The man was standing, both hands slamming onto his desk. “Stop spacing out when I’m talking to you! Your grades have been abysmal! If Laura didn’t care about grades, she’d have stopped teaching you long ago! But no matter how little she cares, I won’t let the future heir of the Lukas family slack off like that!”

Evan pressed his lips onto each other and bit down a retort. The intricate patterns on the carpet were much more interesting.

He knew he had good grades. Some were even perfect, especially in science. But he hated history, his family history in particular. Which was one subject out of the myriad Laura was teaching. But of course, his father would harp on about that one bad grade.

Tears stung in his eyes, but he wouldn’t cry. Not in front of his father.

“You are a disgrace,” Nathaniel continued. “I really should consider whether the blood ties are enough to warrant you as the future heir. There are so many Lukas out there better suited for the position than you.”

Evan bit on his tongue. He almost dared his father to say that he was thinking of Martin, his kid cousin who was adopted and only haphazardly guided by Peter. It was almost unfair how well adjusted the boy was. If Evan didn’t know that it was in no way the other boy’s fault, he would definitely think that.

Now, he just clenched his hands to fists and kept on avoiding his father’s gaze. He wouldn’t put more attention on Martin. He wouldn’t let the family have his kid cousin.

“I had such high hopes for you, but you make it more and more difficult every day,” Nathaniel sighed. He rubbed his temples, sitting back down in his chair.

It was rare for his father to show this much emotion, Evan noticed. The changes in Moorland House lately with Martin really left an impact on everyone living here. Not for the better for this father-son-relationship, sadly.

“If you only were a better Lukas ... just where did your education go wrong? My closest relatives really are consistent in showing me that none of them will ever share my ideals, heh.”

Evan watched as the hollow smile on his father’s face became like a mask. He suppressed a shudder as the office became colder. He had always known that his grandfather wasn’t the nicest person. But he hadn’t thought that his father would have problems with his grandfather.

As he looked at Nathaniel, he almost opened his mouth. He almost said something comforting. But that was when his father already continued.

Nathaniel wasn’t looking at Evan anymore when he murmured: “Just why can’t you understand me?”

A light fog danced over the floor. Evan waited. He didn’t move. He even held his breath for a bit to make himself as small as possible. Only a bit more and his father would forget that he was here.

The way Nathaniel Lukas wielded his power gifted by the Lonely was a double-edged sword. He could make people forget about other people. But most of the time it also affected himself.

Now that Evan thought about it, it wasn’t really detrimental. No, it was actually quite profitable for their patron. It was the most Lonely if you were suddenly forgotten by everyone around you – even if that person had just been talking to you. His father’s power could make you feel truly alone, even in a crowd.

Nathaniel often used it as a punishment for Evan.

It was alright.

The boy was already used to it.

It normally meant he would be forgotten for the next meal. If his father was particularly mad at him, the next two meals. That was alright. By now, he was old enough to sneak into the kitchen and get himself something to eat.

It was no real punishment anymore.

Except for mealtimes, he was by himself anyway.

His father forgetting him also meant that he wouldn’t have to listen to the berating anymore.

That was even better.

So, Evan held his breath. He waited until Nathaniel was submerged in his paperwork again. Only then did the boy quietly leave the office.

In the beginning, he was walking backwards, keeping a close eye on his father. Once he was sure that his presence had been completely forgotten, he ran out of the room.

After Evan quietly closed the door to his father’s office, he took a deep breath. His eyes trailed along the thin layer of mist that covered the carpet. It was so unobtrusive that most of the time the rest of the family didn’t even notice it. Or they didn’t mind it as faithful followers of the Lonely.

Evan sighed and shrugged. At least it also meant no lesson for him today. Maybe he should go bother Martin earl— ah. Evan stopped himself in his thoughts.

If there was something he wouldn’t be able to just brush away, it would be a confused look from his kid cousin and the question who he was.

No, he had to wait until the fog subsided. Now that indeed was a punishment.

It was still alright, though. It had always been like this before Martin had come to Moorland House. Evan was stronger than his father’s little punishments.

So, his steps led him to the attic instead. One of the little nooks of the house he liked to hide in.

It was a forgotten place, all in all. A few years back, he broke the lock because he had been curious about what was stored there. It hadn’t been fixed since. He doubted anyone had even noticed it.

Evan stepped into the dark attic lit by a single window.

His eyes wandered over the familiar furniture and trinkets. As he slowly walked towards the window, his fingers brushed along the dust layers of the toys and decorations.

Ever since Martin had joined the family, he hadn’t been up here anymore. From what Evan had gathered, these were the belongings of outcast family members. Those, whose temperament was deemed not fitting the patron. Everything that had belonged to them was put up here, to rot and to be forgotten.

The boy felt at home here the most.

Over time, Evan had turned the windowsill into a window seat with some cushions and blankets he had taken from his estranged relatives. On days like these, it was even more comfortable than his own bed.

He snuggled into the cool cushions and draped the blanket over him as he stared out of the window. It was as bleak outside as it was in the house. Despite it already being noon, the sun wasn’t strong enough to pierce through the fog, leaving everything outside in a sombre grey.

Evan scowled and pressed his forehead against the ice-cold glass. He tried to focus on the point where the horizon line normally was.

It was just this thin glass separating him from the rest of the world. He had always wished to leave Moorland House behind.

But he wasn’t actively trying. He still loved his family in some way. No matter how scary and oppressive his grandfather was, it was still his grandfather. He could do without Laura, yes, but she was the only one actually teaching him anything. And his father – no matter how strict his father was, the boy knew that Nathaniel just wanted the best for him.

If only Evan could love the “One Alone” a little bit more. If he tried a bit more, he might be able to meet his father’s expectations. If he did that, maybe his father would be more loving. Maybe then he would have met his mother.

Evan hated it that he couldn’t be the son Nathaniel wished for. He told himself that he wasn’t seeking approval anymore.

But if he was only a bit different.

If only he didn’t fear the fog.

Why couldn’t his family understand that the way it swallowed everything until you couldn’t see nature anymore was too much? How it drained out colors and sounds was isolating?

There was no warmth in the fog.

It muddled his thoughts and made him forget.

The fog deformed the things he loved until they were unrecognizable. Then he would forget about them, just like how the things in the attic were forgotten.

Although he had gone through all the things here so often, he didn’t remember any of them anymore.

Just like how he couldn’t see the trees in the garden of their estate.

The silence was like inside a grave. He hated it so much.

He couldn’t even see his reflection in the window.

His body was numb in the cold.

The fog obscured his vision.

He—

Who was he?

Lunch and dinner had become a quiet affair for Martin ever since Peter was back on his ship. Thus, he also rarely saw the dining room anymore and let the food be brought to his own room instead.

It was hard to keep himself from the temptation to read while eating. If he hadn’t already made a mess of at least three books, he would still be doing it. But as Martin loved the books so much, he didn’t want to spill anything on them anymore.

Sometimes his lunch would be interrupted. He didn’t mind it at all. It was fun and a distraction to his day-to-day life.

But today it seemed to be quiet. It didn’t look like his lunch would be interrupted.

Martin kicked his legs as he sat in his chair and watched the fog that crept just above the floor.

He hadn’t seen fog like this in the house yet.

Normally, it would fill a room or maybe a hallway and adjacent rooms if granduncle was making his way through the estate. This one was different. It was very light, almost invisible and just laying low on the floor.

Martin was very curious about it and watched it dance across the carpet. It almost seemed playful. It made the boy smile.

This was a good substitute for the visits he would usually get by this time.

Martin stopped in the middle of putting the next spoon in his mouth and frowned.

Who would visit him? If not absolutely necessary, every family member would keep to themselves. So, why would there be anyone going out of their way to visit him?

Martin knew he enjoyed those visits. It was always fun. Always full of laughter. They would play a lot.

“Evan!”

Martin gasped when he thought of his cousin.

Why? Why was it so hard to remember him just now?

He should go see Evan.

His cousin didn’t come to his room every day. He also respected it that Martin needed time by himself. So, that wasn’t too worrying.

But for some reason, the boy still felt the need to see Evan today.

He turned to his food to finish it faster. Once he was done, he would immediately go to his cousin.

By the third spoon, his movements slowed.

Why was he in such a hurry again?

It was not healthy to eat so fast. Martin also didn’t have any plans for today. He could take his time.

Martin took a breath. He continued eating in a normal pace again. Whatever it was just now, it was weird.

Until his eyes fell on the fog again.

“Evan!” Martin hissed and threw his spoon away.

It was the fog’s fault; he was sure of it. He didn’t understand why it wanted him to forget his cousin, but he wouldn’t allow it.

With a frown on his face, the boy stared at the lingering mist on the ground. “Go away,” he commanded in a whisper.

Of course, it didn’t.

Sighing quietly, Martin slid from his chair. Keeping his eyes forward, he decided to go see Evan right now. He only had to keep his cousin in his mind, then he wouldn’t forget him again. The boy was sure of it.

It was not the usual time where he would make his way through the estate. That rarely mattered, anyway. Not in this house.

Martin still knew how to be careful and how to avoid attention. It wasn’t because he was scared anymore. It was because it had become awkward seeing anyone else except for Evan.

He had never been good at holding eye contact, now he barely looked at the person he was talking to anymore.

Luckily, no one in the family minded.

Because of that and many other things, Martin would never stop being grateful for Peter.

He really wished his dad would be back soon. It had already been a few weeks. Or a month? Two months?

Despite how much Martin missed his dad, it was surprisingly difficult to keep track of time. He had thought he would be counting the days until Peter returned. Although thinking of it now, he didn’t know for how long the captain had been gone.

The boy stopped in his tracks and looked around.

Why was he here again? Where was he even?

He almost slapped himself when he looked at the familiar door he was standing in front of. Evan’s door. Martin had at least made it here. He had almost forgotten again if wasn’t already standing here.

The boy lifted his hand to knock. Evan never knocked. It would also be too loud in this quiet hallway. So instead, Martin just carefully pushed down the handle and stuck his head inside.

“Evan?” he called out, his eyes scanning the room whether Laura was already here or not.

“... huh.”

When he saw no one inside, Martin opened the door fully. He walked through the empty room to the connecting door. The bedroom was empty, too. All that was here was the low fog that didn’t even reach his ankles.

As the boy was gripped with fear, he called out once more: “Evan?!”

There was no answer. Why was there no answer?

Frantically, Martin ran out of the room.

He hadn’t seen anyone in a while. Was he ...? No. It was normal. It was normal to not meet anyone in this house.

Martin knew that it wasn’t him who was alone and isolated. He would have felt it. He was sure of that by now. He would know if he had accidentally walked into the cold embrace of the Forsaken.

But then – where was his cousin?

Martin bolted out of the room. He had to find Laura. She would be on her way to Evan right now for the lesson. If he found her, he would know for sure that it was his cousin who was gone.

As the boy ran along the hallway his old teacher normally would take, the estate stayed empty and quiet. Martin did his best not to think about it. Instead, he repeated his cousin’s name in his head as he tore open the door to Laura’s room.

“Laura!” he called out to her. “Why aren’t you at Evan’s?”

His teacher stared at him darkly.

Martin was too relieved to see someone to be bothered by it.

The old lady pursed her lips when she looked at the panting boy. Then, her gaze slipped off him, down to the fog by her feet.

“Ah.”

“What?” Martin asked nervously. His hands fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

Laura looked back at him, her voice cold and indifferent: “It looks like Nathaniel doesn’t want me to teach his son today. Evan is being grounded.”

“B-but he wasn’t in his room?”

“You know full well that being in your own room is not a bad thing, Martin,” the old lady chided him sternly. “He’s with the One Alone.”

“Oh.” His eyes grew wide as he understood. “Oh no. Oh no no no.”

Evan hated it.

Martin even had the feeling that the more he got used to their patron, the more his cousin moved away from it.

He had to find his best friend. He couldn’t let him be by himself.

Where would Evan be?

Without another word to Laura or even closing her door, Martin turned on his heels and started running through the house again.

Evan had told him about a lot of places where he liked to hide on their tours through the estate in the first days Martin had been here. He only had to remember them. He only had to recall what Evan had told him about Moorland House.

Without caring about whether anyone would see him or not, the boy searched.

Evan was not in the cupboard in the room adjacent to the kitchen. The place just behind the oven where it was the warmest in the house.

He also wasn’t in the wardrobe above the stairs where he could watch everyone who passed the main hall.

Just where was his cousin?

Martin was out of breath by the time he stood in front of the attic. He had never been up here before. His cousin had just pointed to the stairs, but he had never taken him here.

Seeing how obscured the stairs to the attic were, Martin was sure that he was at the right spot now.

This fog was different. It was much more, much stronger.

The boy stood at the bottom of the stairs for a while longer. Both to catch his breath as well as to steel himself against the Forsaken.

No matter how much he had gotten used to it, he knew full well that he could also get lost if he was not careful. It was something Laura had repeated again and again.

While the One Alone protected the family, it was not benevolent. It ate without distinguishing friend or foe. It was something the family always had to keep in mind.

Taking another deep breath to calm himself, Martin donned a neutral expression.

Then he ascended the stairs.

Chapter Text

Being in the embrace of the Forsaken was a different experience every time.

Sometimes, it was just true nothingness, an all-encompassing grey that cut one off from the rest of the world. Sometimes, sceneries were shifting constantly, reflecting various fears without ever settling on one. Sometimes, it was a proper place as if one had just stepped into a colorless version of a memory.

This time, it looked like one of the hallways of Moorland House.

Martin couldn’t see the end of the long corridor, but it felt familiar enough that he wasn’t scared. He knew that his cousin was at the end of this, so he started walking.

The cold seeped into his bones, and the boy crossed his arms to keep himself warm.

Different from the hallways he was used to in the house, this one was heavily decorated. There were glass cabinets along the way. Paintings lined the walls.

Martin knew not to be distracted by them, yet he couldn’t help his curiosity.

Whatever was in the cabinets, it was not identifiable to him. If he squinted enough, he might recognize the shape of a statue or sometimes ... a book?

He was glad that it was so cold because he was forced to keep his hands to himself. If not, he would surely have tried to open the showcases to take a better look at the objects.

His steps had a hollow echo as he kept on pushing forward.

For a while, he did try to keep his gaze forward. A steady pace that would lead him to his cousin.

Yet, as the hallway seemed to continue endlessly, Martin let his eyes wander again. This time, he took in the paintings.

Now that he looked at them longer, he noticed that they were portraits. It seemed like paintings of people. Varying ages, gender, and status. The boy wasn’t too sure about the actual motifs. Just like how it was with the objects. The faces couldn’t be seen clearly. Sometimes other details were also obscured.

Forgotten.

The word pushed itself inside Martin’s mind.

These were people that had once existed but have been forgotten.

The blurry faces were uncanny. They left a melancholic taste on the boy’s tongue.

An existence bound to be forgotten. No matter whether they had families or not. Whether they had parents, children, lovers, friends. Everyone would be forgotten one day. No one left a mark behind.

It was something that should scare Martin. But it hadn’t for a long time anymore. Not since he noticed that he couldn’t remember his mother’s face anymore. His father had already been gone for so long, his face had already been a blur in the boy’s mind. It hadn’t come as a surprise when he failed to picture his mother in his mind.

What had been more scary was the fact that Martin wasn’t able to remember Peter’s and Evan’s faces as well. No matter how hard he tried, they just wouldn’t come to him.

Nonetheless, when Martin thought of his dad and his cousin, he could still feel their presence. There was a warmth in his chest whenever he thought about them. That was why he was sure that he was never truly alone anymore. Even if they were just connected by the fog between them.

It wasn’t like that for everyone. But it was like that for him and that was fine. He didn’t mind being forgotten or to forget. It was a part of being a Lukas – and this family had already given him so much more than he had ever had before.

Thus, Martin was able to tear his gaze away from the paintings and keep moving. The hollow ache in his chest was something he had gotten used to. It was as much a friend to him as Evan was.

As his thoughts focused more on his cousin, Martin felt a little pull.

There was a place he belonged to ahead of him. A place he loved and where he was safe. Immediately, he knew that it was Evan.

Martin started running.

“Evan!”

In this space, he didn’t care about being quiet at all. In fact, the louder he was here, the better.

“I know that you’re here, please tell me where you are!”

He pushed on and it felt like the fog retreated for him. It was something he didn’t dare to think about. There was no way that he could control the One Alone like that. But he at least hoped that it was Evan showing him the way.

The hallway gave way to a darker space. What once was unending slowly came to an end. The place turned into something what looked like an attic.

It was so very dark that Martin stumbled over some things littered on the ground. No matter how hard he looked, he couldn’t make them out or even actually see them.

He stopped trying to make sure he had a clear path. Instead, he kept his eyes on the only window that let in some meager light. The silhouette of his cousin was there.

“Evan,” he called out as he approached. “Let’s get out of here, okay?”

Martin stumbled over a few more things and almost cursed. He didn’t. It always scared him when Peter did.

“Hey, you’re listening, aren’t you?” the boy asked softly when he finally stood next to Evan.

He reached out to touch his cousin by the shoulder. His hand felt numb to the touch as if he had plunged it in ice water.

Taking in a sharp breath, Martin forced himself to stay calm. He moved his hand to take Evan’s.

At the same time, he asked: “You have no lessons today, so, why don’t we hang out earlier?”

There was no reaction from the other boy.

Evan’s deep blue eyes were clouded. They had taken on a grey hue. His boy’s face was devoid of any emotion, just like a statue. No, even worse than a statue.

“Or maybe, let’s eat? Did you even have lunch yet?” Martin continued into the silence.

Just don’t panic, he told himself simultaneously. Everything was still fine and there was no reason to panic.

Martin was, in fact, very panicked.

While he had managed to keep his voice even and quiet, his mind was racing a mile a minute.

He frantically searched for Evan’s usual bright smile. His hand squeezed the ice cold one of his cousin, hoping he could bring at least a bit warmth back.

Was this how he looked to Evan when he had been in the Lonely? No wonder Evan was always crying when it happened.

It had happened a few times more after Peter had left.

Evan would always find his kid cousin and the boys would hold each other through it, missing Peter’s strong arms grounding them.

It would have to be the same, this time. Martin knew for a fact that Nathaniel wouldn’t be here to help his son. Especially not if it was his punishment.

Martin closed his eyes as he remembered.

When he did, another feeling filled his mind.

It felt so good to be here. This place was ... home, too. Especially next to Evan, he felt stronger than never before. He could just be staying here—

Martin snapped out of the thoughts. He shook his head. No, he had to get the other boy out of here. His cousin was getting colder by the second.

With his other hand cupped over Evan’s, Martin strained to summon his brightest smile. “Let’s get out of here, okay?”

He gave Evan a little tug while he tried to concentrate on a place outside of the Forsaken.

They would need something warm. Tea would be good. Moorland House surely had to have tea. They should go to the kitchen. Martin had been there so often by now, that he could summon the place before his inner eye with some effort.

“If you catch a cold here and become sick, I won’t be able to play with my best friend,” the boy paused for a moment before the smile on his lips became easier. “You are my best friend, aren’t you, cousin?”

That seemed to do the trick.

While Evan showed no sign of recognition or even hearing his cousin, he began to slide down from the window seat and followed.

A little relieved smile was on Martin’s lips. He was still wary, but it was a first step.

Giving another small tug, he pulled Evan forward.

One hand kept his cousin’s company to warm it. His other hand found its way to Evan’s back, gently guiding the stiff motions.

Their surroundings became clearer over time.

The fog followed still them, but it became easier to see.

So, Martin led his cousin even further. Even when they reached the kitchen, they hadn’t been able to shake it off completely. As the fog was still present, albeit lightly, Martin hesitated to let go of his cousin.

That was why he took Evan over to the counter instead of seating him in the dining room.

“You like tea, don’t you?”

He only slowly let go of his cousin. His eyes kept going back to Evan to make sure the fog didn’t claim him.

Only when he was sure that his cousin stayed by his side, he skittered along the counter to collect everything he needed. One time, he even had to get a chair to get to the upper cupboards.

But every time Martin passed Evan, he made sure to put his hand on his cousin’s back. To let him know that he was still there. To promise that Evan was not alone.

A little bit later, he had made a steaming cup of tea. Carefully, he tested how hot the cup was before he gently took his cousin’s hands to place the cup in them.

“Here.”

Although it was scaring him seeing Evan so distant, he forced himself to look the other boy in the eye. He wanted to really see his cousin.

The cold grey of the eyes made Martin shudder.

If this was how he looked to Evan after every time he had been in the fog, he had to make sure to never show his cousin this side of him anymore. He won’t let Evan be scared of him – for him anymore.

For a while, Martin stayed like that and kept the cup there between their hands. It was only barely warm anymore when he felt the weight leaving his palms.

Evan had grabbed the cup. He still wasn’t looking at his cousin, but it was a change that Martin welcomed. He smiled.

Everything would take its time. But as long as Evan returned to him, everything was alright. Just like how Martin believed that his dad would return.

Without the cup between them, the boy moved to Evan’s side. He leaned against the counter and kept an eye out on the fog. Staring at it for so long made him less aware of how it faded over time. He had just been looking out so that it didn’t creep nearer to them.

Evan lifted the cup and took a sip.

Martin jumped at the movement. He almost missed the quiet words.

“Your tea is awful.”

“What?!”

Martin stared at his cousin in disbelief. Was this really the first thing he was being told after everything?

Still keeping his gaze downwards, the hint of a smile came to Evan’s lips. “Have you never made tea before?”

“Of course I have! I used to make it for my mum all the time!” The boy scrunched his nose. “You boil water and pour it over the bag! Done!”

Evan let out an exasperated sigh. Maybe a bit overdramatized. But the blue twinkle of his eyes returned. “Have you ever heard about steeping time? Water temperature? Different blends for different times of the day? Milk? Sugar?”

“What,” Martin repeated flatly.

He tried his best to sound annoyed. His cousin was back with him, and he would keep him talking if needed. This wasn’t even a topic where he had to pretend anything.

“We only had Oolong at home. Put the kettle on, put it in a cup with the tea, and then bring it to mum.”

The giggle Evan let out made Martin’s chest swell with pride. He got his cousin back.

“Oh, Marto. Come on. I’m going to teach you how to make proper tea.”

As Evan put his unfinished cup down to dive into a lecture, Martin watched as color returned to the boy. He took in how the smile got brighter with each sentence. He enjoyed how the stiff movements of his cousin became more fluid again over time.

Martin was sure: If this was what Evan had to deal with every time Martin had been with the One Alone, he would never let his cousin see it again.

Ever since Peter had talked to Laura, the old lady wasn’t punishing Martin for his bad penmanship anymore. It didn’t mean that the boy wasn’t trying. On particularly slow days, he would be practicing his writing.

Being a Lukas meant never lacking anything. He just needed to bring it up and one or two days later, he would receive it.

Most of the time, he would tell the men and women who brought him food. He still wasn’t quite sure whether they were part of the family or not. Sometimes he would tell Laura about what he needed. On rare occasions, he would also tell Nathaniel.

While Martin would be the most nervous when he asked Evan’s father for anything, the man would never fail him as long as it was material needs. It was obvious that Nathaniel wasn’t paying attention to any of that because that was also how Evan was able to decorate his room with posters from various bands that would definitely give the family head a heart attack if he knew. The boys both had seen Laura’s disapproving look but over the time she spent in Evan’s room in his lessons, she seemed to be able to ignore them well.

That was also how Martin came into possession of various notebooks, notepads, different kind of papers, and an assortment of pen, pencils, feathers, and ink.

Over time, the boy found out that ballpoint pens were awful for his writing. Pencils were better but never the propelling pencils because they would always break. Fountain pens were the best but as the ink Martin got was too valuable to him, he only used it for things that were very important or special. Like letters to his dad. He missed Peter a lot.

Due to his diligence, the boy’s penmanship did improve. It was nowhere near Nathaniel’s crisp handwriting or Laura’s flourish, but it became better.

Sometimes, Martin even imagined seeing a hint of approval in his teacher’s eyes when she checked his notes. But he never dared to believe that it was truly the case. The adults of the Lukas family were all strict after all – except for his dad.

He wasn’t scared of Laura anymore. The old lady still had a scary face. But as long as he behaved and was willing to learn, she wouldn’t even raise her voice. Even when he wasn’t really paying attention on some rare occasions. Just like today.

He hadn’t listened to Laura for the past few minutes as he had made a mess of his recent notes. At least it had been with a pencil or else he wouldn’t be able to erase it. If it had been a fountain pen, it would be a different thing. Speaking of fountain pens, he should be writing a letter to Peter again soon. He wondered what his dad was doing right now. Was he out on the sea? Or had the Tundra docked somewhere, and his dad was taking a nice walk?

Peter didn’t answer his letters. The captain had no time for that. Martin could only hope his letters even reached his dad.

“Now then. I want you to finish that page by tomorrow.”

Martin perked up. He bit his tongue for his inattention.

It wasn’t unusual for Laura to give him work to do after his lesson. Was it already that late?

No, when the boy glanced at the clock in his room, it was still too early. It was still morning and at least two hours away from lunch. Why was he already getting his assignments?

Today was ... history, so it must be a Tuesday. They never did any other subjects besides history on Tuesdays. Unlike Fridays, on which they would start out with English grammar and reading before Laura switched over to maths.

Although Martin was sure of that, the old lady said: “We are going to have you learn something new starting today.”

Martin’s eyebrows climbed, while he stayed quiet. The only way his excitement showed was him kicking his legs faster in his chair. Thus, the boy jumped down to put his current notebook away and get a new one. If he was moving, it wouldn’t be so obvious.

Laura waited. Unmoving and silent.

The boy sat down again with his brand-new notebook. Then, he looked up to his teacher in expectation. Since he wasn’t scared of her anymore, he also didn’t mind looking at her.

Naturally, she didn’t return the gaze. She just started lecturing instead: “While boats and ships go back a long way in history, from the 1800s on, more and more ships were built and set out as regular service liners. Sailing ships started to be replaced by steam ships, but nowadays most of them are motor ships.”

Martin blinked a few times.

He was surprised by the topic so much, that he forgot to write down what Laura was saying.

Only when she stopped and raised an eyebrow, looking into his eyes for once, the boy quickly started taking notes.

After almost a page Martin’s cheeks were hurting.

That was when he noticed that he had been smiling the whole time, thankful for Laura’s lessons.

There were still some nights in which Martin couldn’t sleep. Over time, he had gotten used to it. And it was the best time to sneak into the kitchen and grab whatever snack was left.

He did get enough food as a proper child of the family. But the thrill of sneaking around alone and the snacks were just too good. Also, the Moorland House at night had its own kind of lonely charm.

Tonight, Martin found the leftover cookies he and Evan hadn’t finished after dinner. He should be sharing these with his cousin but he was pretty sure his cousin was fast asleep now. Hence, they were his.

The boy put one cookie in his mouth while he took the rest of the plate with both hands.

That was when music drifted to his ear. It sounded distant and distorted. Like a memory that was mostly lost but still lingered on.

Martin stopped and turned around.

A light fog had entered the kitchen. His eyes followed it and he saw it spilling out from the adjacent dining room. Finishing his current cookie and taking another one in his mouth, he curiously followed the fog.

When he reached the door, the music had become louder. There was indistinct chatter as well. Everything still sounded far away. The cold that crept beneath Martin’s pajamas told him that he had entered the Forsaken.

An unfamiliar scene unfolded before his eyes: The dining room was filled with people. All of them wore old-fashioned clothing.

Martin couldn’t make out the faces of any of them, or anything else special about them. But he saw that they all had fun.

They were talking to each other. Some were eating from the table that was laid out extravagantly. Some others were dancing with each other in a designated corner. The music came from a little chamber orchestra from the other side of the room. There was so much life.

And Martin was watching from the sidelines.

It was a bit like whenever there was a Parents Teacher Meeting. He would always wait for his parents to show up. He would see his classmates running up to their parents, laughing and chatting away. Meanwhile, he would wait and wait by the wall. When the day was over, he then would walk home by himself. Back then, he had hated it.

Now that he was standing here by the door, Martin somehow didn’t mind it. These people were having fun. He wasn’t a part of them, but they were happy. That was what mattered. They would never notice him being here. They also wouldn’t notice if he was gone. But they were happy and content. It was all he wanted for them.

The boy didn’t know why, but he felt love towards these faceless people. Maybe they were family. Maybe they were cherished friends. He loved them dearly, that was what the hollow pull in his chest told him. All he wanted for them was for them enjoying their life, even if he wasn’t part of it.

Although Martin was aware that all the feelings and thoughts that rushed to his mind weren’t his, he still let it happen. He welcomed the melancholic feeling. He let the cold embrace him. He watched those forgotten ghosts.

Absentminded, he took another cookie and nibbled on it, as he let the slightly distorted music lull him.

It wasn’t until he had finished the plate that he noticed his granduncle sitting in the at the table.

Although the old man was in the middle of it, he wasn’t interacting with anyone. All the people moved around him as if he wasn’t even there.

Obviously, he wasn’t really there with these ... memories?

Martin could feel the Loneliness from the family head. He understood that this was the man’s very own domain.

The boy didn’t make any move to be noticed or seen. It felt like he was intruding on the solitude of his granduncle. Thus, he thought about leaving and returning to his room.

In that moment, the old man rose. With his movement, the people and the music faded.

Martin stayed where he was.

The fog retreated and the family head started leaving the dining room.

When the old man was about to pass him, Martin turned his gaze down and avoided looking at him. He wasn’t too scared of his granduncle anymore, but the presence was intimidating, nonetheless.

So, it took him by surprise when his granduncle put a hand on his head. It was very light, but the old man was petting his head.

With wide eyes, Martin looked up. His granduncle wasn’t looking at him. But he was gently ruffling the boy’s hair. Against the cold, the family head’s hand was very warm.

After that brief touch, the man carried on leaving the dining hall.

Although there was no other interaction, that moment brought tears to Martin’s eyes. It had been enough to make him feel approved. He was a Lukas. The family head had accepted him.

He lifted a hand to touch himself on the head. It was still warm. He knew he wouldn’t forget this moment so easily.

That was the last time he saw his granduncle alive.

Chapter Text

A thick fog enshrouded Moorland House. It wouldn’t be too unusual for mid-autumn if the very same fog wasn’t also filling up the rooms and corridors of the estate.

In the midst of the nothingness, the death of the family head was a silent affair.

On the surface, it looked like nothing changed. Nathaniel seemed to have effortlessly taken over his father’s work. There was just a lot to arrange like the funeral itself and writing the invitations to all family members.

Martin’s lessons were on hold during this time. Instead, he helped Laura with cross-checking the family tree with all the letters they sent out.

During the preparations, the Lonely was ever present.

While the Lukas family was aloof and cold, they weren’t monsters. At least not on that front that was what Martin learned from this. They were all grieving in their own way. If they weren’t, the presence of One Alone wouldn’t be that strong.

No matter how thick the fog and how obscured the boy’s sight was in these days, it was easy for him to navigate the hallways. It happened automatically. He had things to do, so he just did them without actually thinking about it. His body moved on its own, and Martin was thankful for it.

He still remembered his last meeting with his granduncle. It had been such a warm feeling to be accepted. Now, only the cold of the fog stayed.

Martin did his best to keep the cherished memory in his heart.

One thing that worried him in these days was Evan.

His cousin didn’t show it, but the mood and physical state of Moorland House was getting to him.

Whenever Martin had the time, he would come over to Evan’s room because it was easier for him to move around than for the other boy.

While they were together, they avoided any topic regarding the Lukas family meticulously. Instead, the played cards or any other board game that Evan had lying around. They also talked as much as possible to pierce through the silence.

(“Have you heard the ducks from the pond last night?”

“I am sleeping at night, Evan. So, no.”

“Oh, don’t be lying, Marto. We both know that you’re awake at night more often than I am. Or who else would have eaten the leftover cookies?”

“I did it once!”)

If they were not talking, Evan would put on music, one of the many CDs he had gotten his father to buy him. Every time he did, Evan would turn the music a bit louder. It was his way to challenge the rest of the family to come to them. For anyone to care and to berate them.

No one ever came to stop them. In the end, it was Martin who told his cousin when it was too much.

(“That’s way too loud!”

“Not loud enough if you sing along!”

“How do you even ... scream like that? Is it even considered singing?!”)

Martin was glad he could be there for his cousin.

Once, he had come into the room without knocking. He found Evan in his bed, clutching a pillow tightly and quietly crying. His shoulders shook from the sobbing. In that moment, the boy who was three years older than Martin seemed smaller than his kid cousin.

Martin had silently retreated. He knocked on the door and waited for an answer. Then he proceeded to pretend as if he had just arrived.

Ever since, Martin knew that his cousin was very good at putting up a brave face.

Through all the things he had to do, Martin actually forgot the most important thing: At a family funeral, the whole family was present.

It was in the middle of the night, when he was already asleep – not too deep yet –, that the empty side of the bed dipped considerably. A cold hand caressed his back gently.

“I thought you have your own bed?”

Blearily, Martin opened his eyes.

The broad figure was fully lit by his nightlight and was clearly discernible.

Yet, he couldn’t believe it for a moment. He blinked a few times. Then, the boy bolted up, fully awake.

“Dad?!”

Peter chuckled. “I’m sorry, now I have woken you u— oof.”

The chuckle turned into roaring laughter when Martin didn’t wait for him to finish but tackled him in a hug.

Although Peter’s body was cold, the boy snuggled into it as much as he could. The damp but soft coat smelled like the sea and Martin immediately felt more at home than just being in the Moorland House. His dad had returned. It didn’t matter that it was the middle of the night. His dad was back. Just like he promised.

Peter returned the hug tightly. While he pressed his son against him, he murmured: “You should go back to sleep. I was held up at the harbour, so it has become very late.”

“But ...”

“No buts, Martin. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

“No,” Martin protested once more. But as his dad cradled him in his arms and the rush of excitement waned, his eyes slowly closed.

It was also already more of an explanation of why he was coming back in the middle of the night than his dad normally deigned to say. Hence, he accepted it for the time being and was a good boy.

In Peter’s cold but safe embrace, Martin fell asleep again.

Peter had never felt like he belonged in Moorland House.

Okay, he did when he had been younger but ever since he had set foot on a ship, he knew he would never be here for long anymore. Even if the occasional uneasiness of being at the estate like a fish out of water was another good kind of isolation.

Being there for three months with Martin had been the longest time he had spent there in years. It surprised him how little he had minded it because of the boy. He had even been looking forward to returning to the house when the Tundra docked.

Thus, when he saw his son sleeping in his bed, he had felt both an indescribable amount of happiness surge in his chest as well as the bitter feeling of guilt that he had had to leave Martin behind.

But now he was back.

As he helped his son into a black suit for the funeral, he couldn’t tear his gaze from him.

“You grew quite a bit in these months.”

“Uh huh! I’m still shorter than Evan, though.”

“Well, he’s also a few years older than you. Have you learned a lot in the past months?”

“Yes! I’m also learning about ships, boats, and sea navigation now!” Martin’s eyes were sparkling with excitement and his smile was as bright as ever.

Peter couldn’t help but feel relief that the family hadn’t gotten to his little boy. He shouldn’t be thinking that, but he really loved Martin’s smile.

Thoughtfully, he scratched his chin. “Laura is teaching you that?”

He had never thought the old hag could be swayed to stray from her carefully planned out curriculum. He was grateful, nonetheless.

“You’ll have to tell me everything you have learned after the funeral then.”

With a proud grin, Martin nodded.

Peter nodded back with a little smile. “Okay. You’re all set, young man.”

At those words, Martin looked down on himself, his fingers running over the soft fabric. With a short nod, his demeanor changed. A solemn expression laid onto his face, one too old for the little boy.

For a moment, Martin had the same hard lines around his features like Nathaniel, and Peter had to do a double take.

Especially, when the boy turned around and walked through the fog with confident steps and a purpose.

Peter stared at his son. He had changed so much over the course of a few months.

It felt like the little boy had slipped through the captain’s fingers. He had missed so much of Martin’s growth. In one moment, he had still held his son close to him, so that the boy wouldn’t be afraid. In the next, his son was already treating the One Alone like his best friend and might even already be able to strike fear in others with his patron.

There was a little pang in Peter’s chest. If he wasn’t careful, Martin could quickly grow apart from him.

He blinked again when his son stopped at the door.

Martin had turned around. He looked at the captain with big curious eyes. A light tilt with his head asked the unspoken question whether something was wrong. The hard lines had faded into childish innocence again.

The pang in Peter’s chest melted into fondness. Without thinking about it, he quickly moved to his son and took him onto his arms.

Surprised, the boy shouted: “I can walk on my own!”

“Shush, you’re being too loud,” the captain retorted and proceeded to the funeral site, keeping Martin in his arms with no intention to let him go.

It took a moment, but then the boy snuggled into him like on the first day without another protest. The way his son sunk into his arms was enough for the captain to know that they had both missed each other dearly.

Martin had grown and gotten heavier.

Peter wouldn’t be able to do this for long anymore if the boy kept on growing at this speed. Hence, he held his son on his arm throughout the whole funeral.

Martin had tried to quietly protest a few times, but Peter just ignored him.

The whole process was a quiet affair. It always had been and would never change. The whole family would be together in the same room, yet each of them was alone with their thoughts and fully aware of the empty space the dead left behind.

It was the final duty of a Lukas: Impart the ultimate Loneliness with your passing.

Peter couldn’t help but imagine how devastated precious Martin would be when he died one day. As the captain had always wished to die alone, he wouldn’t even let the boy be there in his final moments.

It was a cruel thought but, in the end, Peter was still a Lukas. Seeing how well adjusted the boy was with the family now, he consoled himself with the thought that Martin at least wouldn’t be angry at him for that. Just ... Lonely.

A quiet thought crept into his mind.

What if Martin died before him? What if some accident happened? Or – by the Forsaken – what if that awful Archivist Gertrude found his son and saw that he was still only a fledgling of the One Alone?

The mere thought of losing his son took Peter’s breath away. His fingers felt numb as his imagination ran wild. He was actually afraid of losing his son.

Martin must have noticed it because in that moment, the boy hugged him even tighter.

Taking a few deep breaths, the captain returned the hug, hoping that it would ease the pain he felt. The pain that had been summoned just by a mere thought!

Obviously thinking that his dad’s reaction must be because of the family head’s death, Martin whispered: “Granduncle was very kind to me in the end.”

The way it came unexpectedly almost made Peter snort in the middle of the funeral proceedings. The hitting absurdity after that made it worse.

His uncle? Kind? No way. In no universe would that man be—

But his son’s voice was so sincere. There was even true affection in it.

It made the captain remember Martin’s story about how Laura also seemed to have started teaching about ships which Peter knew was not part of the standard curriculum of a Lukas – at least not at this age.

Huh.

Martin was really charming them all, one after another. One didn’t know true loneliness if they didn’t also know what love and affection was. What it was like to have a connection and then the absence of it. Maybe both his uncle and Laura had seen that in Martin and hence indulged him.

Absent-mindedly, Peter stroked the hair of his son. What a treasure.

He could already see himself being scared of Martin the day someone told him that even Nathaniel was besotted with the little boy. For now, it didn’t seem to be the case.

Yet?

The captain stole a glance at his cousin.

Nathaniel was as stoic as ever. If there wasn’t that deliberate obstinacy between him and Evan to not look at each other, one could have thought that the family head’s death hadn’t affected him at all. But both of them had the same slight scowl with the same put-on stone-faced expression.

All that Peter saw was that the relationship between Nathaniel and Evan hadn’t gotten better at all. It might be even worse now.

While Peter wasn’t against Martin’s and Evan’s friendship and even saw it as conducive to their growing up, he didn’t like the idea of how the tense mood at the estate could be affecting his son.

Thus, when the funeral was over, Peter sat his son down and said: “I will have to leave again very soon. This was actually an interesting coincidence that the dates lined up, but the Tundra needs to be on her way again.”

Martin nodded. He had his lips pressed onto each other but he neither protested nor clung to his dad.

It made the captain smile. He added: “What do you think about accompanying me this time?”

As much as Martin was thrilled to leave with Peter, the hardest part was having to tell Evan. He really didn’t want to leave his cousin behind but there was no way he could take Evan with him. It was already hard enough to meet him these days.

After the funeral, the boy barely saw him at all. As he was told, Nathaniel had given Evan more lessons to attend. More things to learn and less time to play or to just having a break.

The nearer the day came on which Peter had to leave again, the more restless Martin grew.

He couldn’t leave without having talked to Evan first. But the captain had a date by which he had to leave.

Martin was scared that his cousin was avoiding him. Whenever he went to Evan’s room, the boy would be somewhere else in the house. No matter how much he tried to catch him, it just didn’t seem possible. If Martin didn’t know how much Evan hated the Forsaken, he would have assumed his cousin spent his time there.

But why would his cousin not want to talk to him? Was he just overthinking it? Martin had gotten so used to them spending time together that he couldn’t even imagine Evan being that busy.

It didn’t help that Peter was also just shrugging it off. “He doesn’t seem to have time, then,” was all that his dad was saying.

Still, the boy didn’t give up and kept an eye out for Evan. There was no way he would leave without telling his best friend anything. He would also miss his cousin the most out of everything at Moorland House. He always felt so good when he was with Evan, after all.

When Martin was reminded of that, he felt a little pull. The good feeling that he always had when he was with his cousin seemed to be connecting them. A little pull that guided him on the right path.

“I’ll be right back,” Martin muttered towards his dad. He wasn’t very sure if his dad even heard it as he saw that Peter was about to fade in his armchair again.

Almost closing his eyes, the boy started wandering through the estate. He could feel Evan. He knew exactly where he was. He only had to follow the pull.

The more he felt his cousin, the faster Martin became. It was neither Evan’s room nor one of the places he loved to hide. It was nowhere Martin would have thought to look for him normally. The boy hadn’t expected his cousin to be in the old study of the former family head.

Both boys were staring each other in disbelief when they stood in front of each other.

Through the way Evan gasped quietly and furrowed his brows for a moment, Martin was now sure that his cousin had actually avoided him.

Before he knew what to do with that information, Evan had already put on a soft smile.

“So. You’re going to leave with Uncle Peter, yes?”

Oh. Oh no. That was it. Evan had already known and was not happy about it.

Martin should stay here. He shouldn’t leave his cousin here all by himself. It was not good for his cousin.

“Marto, don’t make that face,” Evan immediately chided him. “You’re getting to spend time with your dad! You haven’t seen him in months! Please go and have fun with him.”

“But are you going to be alright?” Martin dug his fingers into his shirt as he stared at the other boy. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

Evan sighed, stepped forward and pinched both of his kid cousin’s cheeks. “Marto. We are Lukas. Being alone is our nature.”

Tears rose to Martin’s eyes. Both because of the way the other boy tried so hard to be mature – and because his cheeks really started hurting.

Seeing that, Evan just grinned at him before he let go. A hand moved to Martin’s head to soothe him. Despite his calm demeanor, his slightly hoarse voice gave the lie to his words: “Go and have fun.”

“I will come back!” Martin blurted out.

He didn’t know how long he would be gone with Peter. It had been four month until he had seen his dad again. Would he be gone for as long? Even longer? Or maybe shorter? They hadn’t talked about where the Tundra was heading to this time.

But he wanted his cousin to have his promise. To have something to keep in his heart.

Despite him being so earnest, a little sly grin came to Evan’s lips. The older boy cocked his head and looked Martin straight in the eye. “Oh? Why are you saying that?”

Martin stared back into the deep blue eyes – and pouted. Evan was insufferable when it came to that. While the familiar behavior warmed his heart, it was always the younger one who had to suffer under it.

Thus, Martin’s voice was appropriately sulky as he still gave in and said: “Of course I will come back to my cousin. Who else is my best friend?”

The laugh those words got out of Evan was so rich and bright that it eased the worries in Martin. Evan also visibly relaxed as he resumed petting his kid cousin’s hair.

“I know, Marto. I will be waiting for you here. Now, go have fun with Uncle Peter.”

The boys hugged and took their time to properly say goodbye to each other.

Chapter Text

How long had it been since Martin last saw anything else besides the Moorland House?

He had been there for over half a year and not once did he leave its grounds. He hadn’t minded at all. He still didn’t. In fact, it was a bit scary to leave his safe home now.

But he was with his dad, thus, he wasn’t too worried. His dad would protect him if anything happened. So, he looked out of the car window with curiosity.

The landscape was becoming grey again.

He remembered that when he was on his way to Moorland House for the first time, spring was about to come. It hadn’t been quite there yet, and the trees were barren. Now, winter was approaching. Around the estate grounds, the trees had already started losing their leaves again.

They had to drive a long distance from Moorland House until the boy saw the golden leaves of autumn shining bright.

All the way to London, Peter was advising his son about various things: “Do not run on the ship. It can be very dangerous. Always inform me or Tadeas – the first mate – where you are. Actually, never leave our line of sight. Yeah, that would be the best. And stay away from the railings. Especially, when it is stormy. But just don’t go near it.”

Martin diligently nodded. He would prefer it if the captain kept his eyes on the road. But instead, his dad kept looking through the rear mirror to make sure that the boy was listening.

“And I should look into where and when to get you some swimming lessons. You really never learned it?”

“There has never been the chance,” Martin affirmed.

Their whole journey was like that. The boy couldn’t help but being relieved that Peter at least concentrated on the road more once the traffic got busier.

The port was even busier at this hour. There were so many people around working, delivering, and getting ready to set sail that Martin couldn’t help himself but cling to Peter as his dad carried him through the crowd and his eyes wandered over the various people around them.

A broad man at the corner of a warehouse seemed to keep staring at them although the boy felt the slight presence of the One Alone around his dad and himself. A lady with short hair had a dark look on her face as if she was about to voyage into her doom. Another lad was way too chipper for this early hour and Martin flinched at his enthusiastic “Hello!”.

His dad gently stroked his back. “Don’t look at the people. Look at the Tundra,” he whispered reassuringly and pointed to the ship.

Martin turned his gaze to the vessel his dad loved so much. Colorful containers were stacked on top. The ship itself was shining in the morning sun, reflecting the orange beams perfectly.

Yet, despite all the colors, something felt off. Something that felt old and looming. It was just barely out of Martin’s grasp.

It made the Tundra so very beautiful.

When they approached the ship, the boy saw a man by the gangway, giving instructions and keeping an eye on the sailors. An old whistle hung around his neck.

“Tadeas Dahl, my first mate,” his dad explained in a cheery tone.

They came nearer, and Tadeas fell silent. He turned to Peter attentively. His eyes fell on Martin for a moment, who was still in the captain’s arms. But his focus was quickly back on Peter.

“Martin, my son. He will be coming with us. Help me keep an eye on him.” The captain’s words were short and clear. It was different from the way he normally talked to his son.

Tadeas nodded.

Martin took the mate for a not very conversational type and that it was the correct way to talk to him. Hence, instead of saying anything, Martin just waved with a shy smile.

That seemed to be the end of their introduction as well.

Peter put his son on the ground and patted him on the head. “Stay with Tadeas for a while. I still have a few other things to attend to.”

There was nothing else that the boy could do except for silently agreeing. He watched his dad walking towards the warehouses of the dock. Then he turned to Tadeas with an inquisitive look.

The first mate simply pointed to the ground to tell him to stay by his side while he resumed giving instructions.

Martin did so patiently. He watched Tadeas work, trying to understand what the mate’s job was right now. Laura’s lessons were helpful for the basics but not enough to understand everything yet. The boy still did his best without saying a word.

A couple of minutes later, Tadeas beckoned him to follow onto the ship. He let the boy walk first.

Martin felt the first mate watching over him like a hawk, just half a step behind him. He didn’t know whether Peter’s or Tadeas’ hovering was worse, but it did make Martin feel safe.

The mate wasn’t talking to him, but he didn’t feel any malice behind it. It was the familiar feeling of the silence of Moorland House.

On the ship, they continued with a cursory check of the deck and the common spaces.

Martin got the feeling that Tadeas would normally be walking faster if they weren’t together. Instead, the mate took big but slow strides. The boy also kept on feeling the man’s gaze on him from the side.

He did his best not to worry anyone. Remembering Peter’s rant, he steered clear from the railings and always walked on the side of the cabins and containers. He also always made sure that he was idling somewhere in Tadeas’ line of sight whenever the mate had to stop and talk to someone.

Just when they finished the round, another crew member approached them. He had a little can in his hand and looked exhausted. His words were not much more than a sigh as he held out the unmarked can: “For The Captain. He’s not showing up.”

Tadeas took it without a word and beckoned Martin to follow once again.

With hastened steps, the boy did so.

Just after a few turns, he raised his eyebrows. This was not the direction to Peter’s cabin. Actually, he didn’t even know where his dad was. He hadn’t seen him anymore ever since he had been handed over to the first mate.

Martin wasn’t complaining about it. He knew the captain was busy. It was just that outside of the estate he wouldn’t be able to know whether his dad was just gone or completely gone into the Forsaken. He also wondered whether the crew ever knew. But maybe Tadeas knew and that was why he was able to walk with such a purpose.

At least Martin thought so until the mate started searching.

He wasn’t searching at normal spots, either.

Instead, Tadeas looked behind heating pipes. He crouched to look under a cupboard. He gently patted through a bunch of fabrics in a corner of a room.

Martin bewilderment grew with every place Tadeas searched. He didn’t dare to day anything, though, so he just followed the man through various cabins.

At first, any crew member they met on their way ignored or avoided them. After the second round over the deck, however, the first few began to smile lightly. Somehow, the mood lightened.

There was an older man painting some lashing rods winking at Martin. As they passed a young man cleaning the deck, he asked in a conspiratorial tone: “Is The Captain gone again?”

One of the cooks in the kitchen had looked at Tadeas and Martin in confusion before he saw the can in Tadeas’ hand. Then, he scratched his chin. Without looking at any of them, he answered the unspoken question: “I haven’t seen The Captain in a while ...”

Martin could see Tadeas getting tired. They left the kitchen and for a moment the mate seemed to be unsure what to do.

Something brushed against Martin’s legs.

The boy flinched and let out a little yelp.

When he looked down, he saw a cat snuggling up against him.

As he stared at the feline with big eyes, he heard Tadeas sigh. The mate squatted down, opened the can and put it down in front of the cat.

He only looked shortly at Martin when he pointed at the cat and simply introduced: “The Captain.”

Martin blinked at the odd naming. Then, remembering all the little comments from the sailors, a little grin grew on his lips. If his dad was prone to disappearing on the Tundra as much as he did at Moorland House, it was only fair to liken him to a cat.

Fascinated, he watched The Captain eating the canned food.

They both obviously weren’t going to move any time soon, and Tadeas rose. He nodded at Martin and signified him to stay there while he returned to his work.

Martin sat down cross-legged to keep on watching The Captain. When the cat finished, it promptly jumped into the boy’s lap and snuggled inside, purring loudly.

As Martin gingerly petted The Captain with sparkling eyes, he knew he would enjoy the journey on the Tundra.

Once the ship had set sail, it was enveloped by the familiar quiet solitude Martin had come to love. In the middle of the ocean, there was not much to see and yet the boy was never bored by the constant patterns of the waves.

Martin alternated between following Peter and Tadeas around.

If he was with the first mate, there would never be much talking. Instead, he got to slowly learn the man’s duties as well as those of the rest of the crew members whenever Tadeas gave them commands.

If he was with the captain, he would be constantly doted on. Peter often had him in his arms. Or ruffled his hair. Or pinched his cheek. Thus, whenever Martin was with his dad, he barely learned anything about the duties of a captain. Even if Peter tried to explain a few things. Martin was glad that he was home-schooled by Laura and not by his dad. Only when Martin was with The Captain, he was allowed to roam the Tundra on his own for a little bit.

Over the days, Martin enjoyed spending time with Fred the most.

Fred was a younger man with ginger hair and a bright face sprinkled with freckles.

It was thanks to The Captain that they found each other. The cat would always make its way to Fred whenever the sailor was keeping watch on his own with Iron Mike.

After a few times, it became routine, and Fred would always greet Martin and The Captain with a bright smile. He taught Martin about the workings of the autopilot.

“Really, it is a shame that no one is talking with each other,” Fred sighed one day as he thoughtfully scratched The Captain, who had decided to sleep on his shoulders. “It’s the reason why I became a sailor! You start out as strangers on a new ship but after having to work together to make it safe through the journey, there is a certain bond. A certain camaraderie! I heard you get a good salary with Solus Shipping, too, but I didn’t expect ... this.”

He made a vague motion towards the ship. Then, he blinked and smiled at Martin. “Oh, but please don’t tell your father. I don’t want to seem ungrateful. And I enjoy your company, mini captain.”

Martin grinned. “It also feels very good to be with you, so I won’t be tattling!”

Whenever someone called the boy “mini captain”, his chest would swell with pride. At some point he had become his dad’s messenger as he still minded being around people less than the captain did.

Peter’s gratitude showed itself in even more head kisses and hugs while the crew would always have a short nod of acknowledgement for their mini captain.

In fact, no matter how quiet or distant the crew of the Tundra was, they always treated The Captain with affection. In their eyes, Martin seemed to be a cat as well. Whenever the crew members passed the boy when he was on his own, they would ruffle his hair or give him a little pat on the shoulder. At the same time, they also seemed to sense it whenever Martin didn’t feel like being touched and kept their distance accordingly.

The Tundra and her crew were something Martin came to love dearly very quickly, and he came to understand why his dad spent so much time here. He didn’t know any of their names except for Tadeas and Fred, but he loved them all.

Maybe he would learn their names over time.

Since Martin shared the cabin with Peter, they also shared the bed like at Moorland House. It was just way smaller. The first few nights were difficult for both to find out what position was the best for them. But being in his dad’s arms let Martin rest peacefully, and it had been a while since he woke up in the middle of the night.

Thus, he was surprised when he found himself awake in the middle of one. The Tundra was creaking slightly under the wind, but her sway was gentle. There was no danger of a storm. It was nothing unusual and there should have been nothing that woke the boy up.

But Martin felt a pull.

There was something calling out to him.

Still in a daze, Martin blinked a few times and rose. As the heavy sleeper that his dad was, Peter didn’t notice his boy slipping out of his arms.

Martin barely registered the cold metal below his bare feet as he followed the pull.

It was so quiet except for the creaking of the ship and the wind.

The stars and the moon were shining brightly on him.

No one was around.

One time, Martin thought he heard The Captain meowing somewhere far away. But when he turned, he couldn’t see the cat anywhere.

His steps led him to the cabins of the crew members. One from where he could hear sniffling. Despite the thick metal door and the howling of the wind, Martin could hear those quiet sounds.

Without knocking, he opened the door into the dark room. The heavy shift of the hinges made the person inside jump.

Fred looked up with a tear-stained face. He quickly tried to wipe his cheeks as a wobbly smile came to his lips. “Oh, mini captain. Why are you still awake? S-sorry, I just had a bad dream ...”

Martin barely listened to the young man. He felt the pull. He felt the need to be here.

Walking towards Fred, the boy spread his arms for a hug.

Surprised, the sailor mutely lifted him into an embrace.

It felt so good.

Fred was so warm and comforting.

The man’s slight tremble woke Martin up entirely. The boy felt more awake than ever before.

The sailor’s irregular breathing, still hitching from sobs, calmed Martin.

The way Fred clung to the little boy as if he was a lifeline made Martin feel powerful, as if he was able to do anything.

The little boy relished in the feeling and could have stayed there forever in Fred’s arms.

“Martin.”

Peter’s sudden voice made his son flinch. He was ready to be reproached for leaving their cabin in the middle of the night.

Fred’s embrace loosened, and the boy turned around.

His dad was standing just outside the cabin. The light of the stars and the moon made Martin aware how dark the cabin was. He could barely see his dad’s features, but the silhouette was unmistakably him.

Peter’s long coat fluttered in the wind. With his captain’s hat and his thick sweater, he looked like he was ready to leave again. Just like how Martin always saw his dad looked like at Moorland House.

A light fog crept over the ship’s floor.

“Martin, you should leave the young man alone.” Peter’s voice was airy, distant.

The boy nodded. Hid dad was right.

Soundless, he slipped away from Fred, ignoring the fingers that brushed against him as if they begged him to stay. He took his dad’s hand instead and walked out of the dark cabin onto the bright deck.

He still didn’t feel the cold clinging to his feet. Peter swept him into his arms, nonetheless.

They didn’t return to the captain’s cabin.

Feeling like he was still dreaming, the boy let himself be carried to the lifeboat. They met up with the rest of the crew.

No one was saying anything. They all just looked at the captain and his son for a moment. Then they proceeded.

Tadeas climbed on the lifeboat first. Peter waited until his mate was securely on the boat before he passed Martin to the man and climbed over himself.

Tadeas was cold, but his body was firm and steeled from the work on the Tundra. The way he held the boy was also a bit stiff. He clearly wasn’t used to it.

Martin didn’t mind. He didn’t mind anything at all right now.

When the boy turned around to look at the ship, his hand touched the whistle around the mate’s neck. His eyes fell to the simple thing.

When Tadeas noticed his gaze, he looked over to the captain.

Martin did the same.

His dad nodded. The outstretched arms to take his son back returned to his side, dejected, but he didn’t stop the two of them.

As the first mate lifted the whistle and held it towards the boy, Martin felt the gazes of the rest of the crew on him.

There was expectation. There was fear. There was relief. There was respect.

These were the people who knew exactly what was happening and still returned to the Tundra.

They were family bound not by blood but by the ship. And both of the boy’s families were connected by the One Alone.

Martin blew the boatswain’s call.

The next morning, Martin woke up late.

He was feeling both sleepy and full of energy at the same time. An exhausting mix that made him linger between the sheets a bit longer. The Captain had curled up on Peter’s pillow right next to his head while Peter himself was reading a book by the little desk in the cabin.

Once he finally felt up to it, Martin silently got out of bed and climbed onto his dad’s lap. He was not stopped from doing so.

Instead, Peter put his big hand on his son’s head and stroked it slowly and gently.

When Martin was seated, he stared at the book his dad was reading. None of the words made sense right now. His thoughts were somewhere else. He didn’t need to ask to know that Fred was not on the ship anymore. While the boy was sad that a friend was gone, it was just a part of how things worked. Part of being a Lukas.

There was something else that kept him occupied. A certain dread had taken hold of him. It took him a while until he was courageous enough to ask the question.

The way Peter’s hand already stopped petting him when he took a deep breath told him that his dad had just been waiting for that.

“Is that the reason why I feel so good whenever I am with Evan?”

“Yes,” the captain answered quietly. His hand slipped from his son’s head to the little hands that had clenched to fists. “But it’s not only that, Martin.”

Peter lowered his head to press a little kiss on his son’s hair.

“You have a real friendship with Evan. You both enjoy each other’s company genuinely, not only because you’re feeding on him. You have a strong bond with him, stronger than any other bond within the Lukas family. Don’t forget that.”

Martin could only nod stiffly at those words.

He was still scared to meet Evan again. He did not want to hurt his cousin in any way. Maybe it was good that he was on the Tundra with his dad now.

After that night, the crew had become chattier with each other. There were no conversations about where they were from nor the mention of any kind of family and friends. But when they played games or ate with each other, Martin felt the camaraderie Fred was always enthused about.

They also showed their happiness of seeing the mini captain more openly. By now, not only Peter and Tadeas took care of Martin but the rest of the crew were entrusted with the boy’s safety as well. Especially when the boy was by himself with The Captain, the crew members would take their time to explain their work to the boy.

Most of the time, they would just hang out.

“Hey, have you forgotten the salt in the food?” A voice rang out through the eating area.

The cook immediately shot back: “Don’t complain about how much salt I put in if you don’t want me to start rationing your food!”

Martin smiled as he heard the crew members starting to quip while he quietly continued eating.

It was so strange for him to be eating in the same room with so many people. It was a nice change of pace every once in a while. Whenever he was here, he got to know a few of the sailors’ characteristics without really having to interact with them.

“No amount of salt can save whatever this is,” Kim, who was sitting across from Martin at the table, muttered under his breath as he side-eyed the bickering cook and sailor. This time, it was the third mate’s duty to watch over Martin. “Fish sauce is what we need to properly season this. We’re on the ocean and I have yet to see a bottle of fish sauce on this ship. What is this madness?”

Martin grinned but didn’t reply.

The food on the Tundra really wasn’t good – especially compared to what the boy got at Moorland House. But it was filling, which was more than enough. No one was seriously complaining, anyway.

As the room was roaring with laughter and curses, Martin felt the temperature drop slightly. It wasn’t too much but he still noticed it.

The sailors were obviously also susceptible to it because there was a small shift in the tone of the conversations.

Before, when the Tundra was as silent as a graveyard, the cold would make them shiver and even more withdrawn. Now, instead, the atmosphere stayed the same as it was before the temperature dropped. It even got an additional teasing tone to it.

Martin hid his smile as he stole a glance towards the door where his dad had arrived.

Then, it started. Various voices began a deliberate casual conversation:

“Has anyone seen The Captain?”

“I’m sure The Captain is being lazy somewhere.”

“We should really consider cutting The Captain’s meals.”

The increasingly conflicted look on Peter’s face made his son’s grin grow wide.

Only when Martin felt like his dad had quietly agonized over his crew members enough, he waved at Kim and walked towards Peter to take his hand.

“You were looking for me?”

The captain just nodded. There was still a complicated look on his face. Something between exasperation at the teasing and fondness for his crew. But with his son at his hand, he turned for them to leave.

When Martin turned around to wave at the crew members, he was met with winks and smiles which he happily returned.

During their journey, Martin learned a lot about the Tundra and the work of a sailor. For things no one could explain properly, he would take notes to ask Laura later if he had the chance.

By the end, when they arrived at their home port again, everyone was convinced that their mini captain one day would become their captain.

Chapter Text

Their first journey ended at dusk. From afar, Martin watched the lights of the harbour switching on one after another.

When they docked, Martin was in charge of seeing everyone off at the gangway while Peter was busy with the log and Tadeas was in contact with harbour management.

Every sailor that left the Tundra either had a hair ruffle for the boy, a little pat, or some even went for a hug.

“See you soon!”

“Requesting permission to leave, mini captain!”

Martin smiled and waved at all of them. He and his dad had talked. They would be spending a little while at Peter’s residence near the dock. Then, he would continue accompanying the captain when the Tundra sailed.

Martin told himself that it was because he loved the ship and the sea and everyone on it so much. But the boy also knew that he was using it as a way to avoid Evan. He hesitated when he wondered whether his presence was truly helping his cousin or whether it made everything worse in the long run.

The dock cleared and Martin waited for his dad after the last crew member had left.

He could go back up onto the ship to join Peter in his cabin. But he was sure that him walking around the Tundra unsupervised would worry his dad even more, so he stayed on solid ground and waited.

“Martin Lukas?”

Martin looked up as someone approached him. He saw a sneer.

A hand shot towards him.

With a gasp, the boy flinched and closed his eyes.

Nothing.

No impact. No sound.

Slowly, Martin opened his eyes again.

The hand that had been reached out towards him had frozen mid-air. It was slightly trembling. The sneer on the man’s face had turned into a frightened stare.

A large hand was put on Martin’s shoulder from behind him. With it, a familiar cold wafted over them and the boy relaxed.

“Is there anything you want from my son?”

Martin looked in the face of the terrified man. He didn’t need to turn around to know what the man saw.

His dad’s protective hand on his shoulder was barely more than smoke. The fog that crept at their feet were like a sea creature’s tentacles, reaching out to the stranger and wrapping themselves around him. Despite it being fog, it had become tangible with an icy grip.

His family was not fully monsters, but they were not human, either.

Martin knew that and pitied the stranger. No one messed with the Lukas.

Whatever form his dad had taken on behind him to strike fear into the stranger, was proof enough.

The mute terror stayed on his face as he was swallowed by the Forsaken. It happened in deafening silence.

Martin watched. He took in the man’s fear and felt his shiver in the fog.

He didn’t know exactly what the broad man had intended to do, but he knew there had been no good intentions. And he did have a hunch.

When he was with his biological parents, he had heard a lot about kidnappings and ransom demands. Children were made aware of it at school. The boy never paid too much attention to it because there was no reason for anyone to ever want him.

But now. Now, he was a Lukas. As if he hadn’t already known from their estate and everything connected to it, Laura had made sure for him to know how rich they were and how much they owned.

So, Martin watched.

He let the One Alone embrace him, always accompanied by the firm grasp of his dad, despite the hand being nothing more than haze.

For a moment, he contemplated whether he should also know how Peter looked like right now. He would never be scared of his dad, after all. But then he decided it was enough to just feel the horror behind him. He didn’t need to know. He didn’t serve Beholding, after all.

When his maybe kidnapper was gone, and the fog slowly retreated, the harbour was empty. The only thing replacing the silence was the sound of the waves.

“Martin, are you alright? Did he do anything to you?”

Peter fell on his knees and turned his son around. His hands cupped Martin cheeks with care as he stared at his son intensely.

The boy nodded. “Yes, he didn’t even touch me,” he stated quietly. He saw the frantic look in his dad’s eyes while the captain was gradually becoming solid again.

“You should have immediately gone into the Forsaken, Martin,” his dad chided him, struggling to keep his voice calm. “Just leave. Just disappear so that no one can do something to you. I would find you again. I would always find you in there.”

While he talked, he examined his son carefully. Only when he was sure that there was not a single scratch on the boy, he took him in his arms and showered him with kisses.

“I’m so sorry, I should have taken better care of you. I’m so sorry.”

Martin did his best to return the hugs and to soothe his dad at the same time. He wasn’t scared. Not too much, anyway. There was always the trust that Peter would be there.

Maybe he was a little scared. He found himself snuggling in his dad’s embrace even more than normally. He hid his face in the captain’s shoulder.

Peter lifted him and walked with him to the car. When Martin was seated in the backseat, he barely wanted to part with his dad.

The captain noticed because he stayed by the backseat for a moment. He had both of his hands on his son’s shoulders and pressed his forehead against the boy’s.

They both took their time to calm down. Then, when Martin finally felt himself relax, Peter left to take the wheel.

It was quiet for a while as they drove before the captain said: “I’m taking you back to Moorland House.”

“What?!” The boy’s head perked up. He scowled at his dad. “But the Tundra is gonna set sail again soon!”

“I’m not going to take you with me.”

“But—”

“No, Martin,” his dad decidedly said. “This was a normal human. Maybe he had some allies somewhere, I don’t know. But they weren’t much of a threat. What if it would have been one of the fears? The Desolation. Or ... or the Slaughter. Or just any other entity?”

“But you can’t keep me in Moorland House forever!”

“No, I cannot. But at least until you’re old enough to fend for yourself.”

Martin opened his mouth to protest again. That was when his eyes fell on Peter’s hands. They were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that the knuckles had turned white. It was so clear that he saw it against the pale skin of the captain.

The boy shut his mouth. He didn’t want to worry his dad. So, he just accepted it.

Once he was back, it was not a hard thing for Martin to fall back in line at Moorland House. Peter wasn’t able to stay for too long.

Once his dad had left, Martin was on his own most of the time. He wouldn’t be alone if he let his cousin visit him. But ever since he had returned, he avoided Evan.

The memory of how good it felt to be with scared and lonely Fred pushed back into his mind whenever he felt himself starting to relax.

In these days, Evan practically radiated a comforting presence that alerted Martin before his cousin fully reached his room. It was enough time for the boy to retreat into the One Alone.

After a week Evan obviously got the hint because his visits to Martin became less and less. When the boy one day found a little note with Evan’s awful handwriting by his door, he hid under the blankets of his dad’s bed for the rest of the day.

I’m still your best friend. You can come to me any time if you need something.

Martin felt bad for cutting Evan out like that, but he was sure that this was better for his cousin. Once Evan forgot about him and how much time they used to spend together, it would be better. Then Martin wouldn’t make his cousin lonely anymore. People were prone to forget the boy anyway. He knew it from his birth parents. He knew it from everyone at his former school.

It was going to be alright.

Evan was worried.

Did something happen while Martin was on the Tundra? Duh, obviously something must have happened. Else, his kid cousin wouldn’t be avoiding him.

Why was Martin back here anyway? Evan had thought he would be sailing for much longer with Peter. Did the two of them have an argument? Was this his uncle’s way to make Martin lonely?

Evan was bristling but there wasn’t much he could do. He couldn’t drag Peter back anyway and his father surely wouldn’t help him.

So, in the meantime, he could only open the door to an empty room.

“Still not home, Marto?”

Evan stood in his kid cousin’s room. It wasn’t a real question. He had just wanted to cut through the silence. He leaned against the doorframe and watched the last wisps of fog dance in the room. At least a little glimpse of his best friend.

The room was way too cold.

With a sigh, Evan pushed himself away from the door and went to the kitchen.

“Why does it taste so different?”

Evan remembered Martin’s fascinated face when he showed him how real tea was supposed to taste like.

Every Friday, after Evan’s final lesson for the week, the boys would make tea together. Evan would fix a cup for his kid cousin and vice versa. By now, Martin made tea exactly just how the older boy loved it: Half a cup of tea, half a cup of milk.

Meanwhile, Martin liked his tea sweeter. Two spoons of sugar and just a little splash of milk.

When Evan added the second spoon of sugar to the tea he was making, he sniffled. Quickly, he wiped the tears in his eyes away that threatened to brim over. Gods, he missed his kid cousin.

But at least Martin was back at the estate now. At least Evan could make him tea again.

The boy sniffled once more before he took the tea on a tablet with him.

Martin’s room was still empty.

“Don’t let it get too cold, Marto,” Evan quietly whispered into the room as he set the tea down on Martin’s desk. Then he left.

Ever since then, Evan would go to the kitchen to make his kid cousin a cup of tea whenever he felt like Moorland House was too cold again. He hadn’t seen Martin again. He didn’t even know whether the boy really drank the tea or not.

But it made him feel better.

Especially because his relationship with his father was getting worse by the day.

Making tea was his way to focus on the good parts of being at Moorland House. Something he forgot quite fast whenever he was in Nathaniel’s office.

“Explain these,” the family head demanded and spread out a few papers on his desk.

A quick glance told Evan that those were his recent tests. With his arms primly kept on his sides, he glared at his father. “I passed them, didn’t I?”

“You call that passing with all the mistakes you made?”

“One to two mistakes per test is not that bad, is it?”

“Don’t talk back to me!” his father shouted, the words echoing in the room. “A Lukas makes no mistakes!”

“Oh, but you’re alright with Martin making mistakes?” Evan immediately bit his tongue after shouting back. Keep the attention away from Martin had always been his principle. He never wanted to bring his kid cousin into these arguments, yet he just did.

The furious glint in his father’s eyes made him feel even more of a failure. For the first time in a long while, the fog that rose in the office made him shiver.

Nathaniel’s voice was chillingly calm, when he said: “I have such high standards for you because you are my son and the heir of the family. But maybe I should really consider that boy instead.”

Evan took a few steps back, his eyes stayed on the fog that kept on rising. When his father sat back down and didn’t keep him from leaving, the boy turned around and ran.

It was not like he could outrun the Lonely. But he didn’t want it to get him when he was in his father’s presence. He needed time to calm himself. To brace himself. He had gotten good at it. He could spend a few hours in the Lonely without it getting to him. He just needed to get to his room. Maybe put on some music. He needed to be fast for that.

When Evan slammed the door to his room shut, he was out of breath. As he felt the fog’s presence behind him, he stumbled towards the drawer, looking for his headphones.

He stopped.

A little tablet with a cup of tea and a plate with biscuits were placed on his nightstand.

Evan let his drawers be and walked over to his bed. His hand was shaking when he reached out for the cup. Carefully, he took a sip. Half tea, half milk.

The boy’s vision blurred with tears. It was not because of the fog creeping in.

“Stupid Marto,” Evan whispered into his empty room as he snuggled into the blankets of his bed with the hot tea and biscuits.

It became a routine between the boys.

Whenever the house was too cold, Evan would make a cup for his kid cousin. Whenever Evan got in trouble with Nathaniel again – and their arguments rose both in volume and frequency –, he would find a cup from Martin.

It was at least something.

Evan would still prefer to actually hang out with Martin but this was at least enough for him to know that his kid cousin still loved him.

Despite everything, he couldn’t stop thinking about why Martin was here and not on the Tundra with Peter. It surely was the same reason why his kid cousin was avoiding him now. He had to find out and he had an idea. It wasn’t easy. At least not for him. But there was a way and if it helped his kid cousin, he had to do it.

On one of the days on which he brought tea to Martin’s room again, he kept an eye out. He could see the fog. It was hard to miss, after all. But he could also feel the presence. Martin’s presence that was so much softer and warmer than that of any other Lukas family member.

Evan only needed to concentrate on it.

If he only thought of his kid cousin, he would be fine. He was also a Lukas, after all. Even if he tried to deny it so much. It felt like his hand brushed against an icy wall. Evan took a deep breath. Almost stopping breathing, he stepped into the cold.

To him, the Lonely was barely more than a mass of swirling nothingness. He didn’t care about that. Martin’s warmth was so near. Evan couldn’t help but smile for a bit. So his kid cousin had been watching him every time he brought tea.

Reaching out, he found the hand and held onto it. With a little tug, he returned to the room that was substantially warmer.

As Martin’s surprised face came into focus, Evan asked with a smile: “Can you please stop running away from me?”

Martin hadn’t expected for his cousin to reach out like that. But as Evan pulled him into a warm hug, he didn’t want to leave again.

When the boys finally talked again after months, they kept on and on and barely slept that night. It was almost morning when they both fell asleep in Peter’s bed, still holding each other’s hands tightly as if the other could disappear at any time – it wasn’t too big of a leap considering their family’s patron.

Evan had given Martin an earful for the younger one’s attempts to protect his cousin. When Evan heard about what had happened on the Tundra, he shed tears for Fred, something that Martin hadn’t been able to do. They caught up on so many more things despite pretty much nothing was ever happening at Moorland House.

Now, that the boys had found each other again, they didn’t let go of each other anymore. Every day they would meet and talk about their day.

It wasn’t always perfect. Especially not as they both grew into adolescence. But they did their best to at least share a cup of tea together every day.

With his age, Evan grew more rebellious and pulled his kid cousin along.

Martin didn’t mind if it meant being able to spend time with his cousin. It was fun.

Over time, Martin started enjoying the same music as Evan, too, and blasting it as loud as possible until Laura came was thrilling.

He definitely was on board when Evan suggested them to regularly comb through the estate and save any spider that had accidentally wandered into the house before the cleaning people did their rounds. Despite their family’s distaste for anything that was related to the other entities, both boys were very fond of spiders.

Those acts of rebellion were only put on halt whenever Peter did one of his sporadic visits. On those days, Evan would also keep his time with Martin to a bare minimum.

Martin enjoyed the days his dad was around. Even if the captain insisted on his son sitting in his lap as if he was still eight, the age Martin when he came to the Lukas family.

“Dad, I’m not a child anymore,” the boy protested. He was already sitting comfortably in Peter’s lap with a book in his hands.

“Shush, you still are. You always will be,” Peter muttered, stroking his son’s hair. It always left the salty smell of the sea behind which Martin adored and made him miss the Tundra even more.

But no matter how long the captain was gone, he would always return. He would also always have a little gift with him. Whatever Martin asked for in a letter or a postcard, Peter wouldn’t fail to show up with it the next time he was at the estate.

Over time, the boy had a little collection of souvenirs and presents in Peter’s room that had slowly become his own. They were something he could always look at if the captain had been gone for too long again.

In the years, Martin watched with fascination how Evan put much effort into unlearning every habit he picked up from his father

 While his scowls used to be a spitting image of Nathaniel, he hid his anger behind a smile now. It was an ice-cold smile that could be mistaken for friendliness if you didn’t know Evan’s mood as well as Martin did. He was able to keep his voice calm and smooth with a lovely smile on his face while he directed his anger precisely at the person who incited it.

Once, when Martin waited for Evan in front of his cousin’s room, he overheard him saying: “No, I won’t put my ‘hands out’. We both don’t believe in me improving my handwriting anymore, and I won’t let you hit me any longer.”

Martin raised his eyebrows. His cousin had never had the protection from his father like Martin received from his dad. But Evan was older and smarter than the boy, and Laura was actually nicer than her mask let on. So, it might work out.

Martin just didn’t know how much Laura was on Nathaniel’s side.

It was quiet for a while.

Then, the old lady answered: “About time you carry yourself like your father.”

One could take the tone of her voice as disdain, but Martin heard the hint of appreciation. Just like how he always knew what the true feeling was behind Evan’s smile.

When he later talked to his cousin, it was obvious that Evan hadn’t noticed that because he kept on ranting about “the old hag”. At least Laura went easier on Evan after that. If it wasn’t for Nathaniel’s increasing expectations in his son, life would have been quiet but good for the two boys.

Martin was fourteen and Evan seventeen when the final straw broke.

Martin was in the estate’s library, next to Nathaniel’s office from where he had been hearing the family head ranting for the past half an hour. He was actually surprised that his cousin hadn’t talked back even once until now. It all had been Nathaniel, complaining about Evan’s grades, his misbehaviours, and that his son would never be able to get in the university he wanted if he kept on going like that.

“You know,” when Evan finally started to speak, Nathaniel immediately fell silent.

The little lilt in his cousin’s voice made it possible for Martin to picture the smile perfectly. An innocent lift of the lips, almost naive in its demeanor. They almost overshadowed the calculating eyes that kept let their conversation partner in their spot.

“I don’t think I need to do what you want. I know my grades are good enough to get into any university I want. And even if you refuse to give me any certificates, father, I would still be able to find something. What about the Magnus Institute? Uncle Peter’s close relationship with Elias Bouchard should be enough to get me a job, don’t you think? And serving the Eye ... definitely more interesting than serving the Lonely. Oh!” The tone made Martin practically see how Evan’s face brightened up further. “If we’re already considering other entities, maybe I should see if the Mother is recruiting! I’ve never met my own mother, after all, so the Mother of Puppets might be a good substitute!”

Martin held his breath.

It became so quiet, he could have heard a pin drop.

“That’s enough.” Nathaniel’s voice was barely more than a whisper and yet it came through the wooden door separating his office and the library. “I have tried to get you on the right path, again and again. Other children who do not have the temperament to serve the Forsaken are weeded out much earlier. And yet here you still are. I had hopes for you and I have tried!”

The family head’s voice got louder with each word.

“But it looks like I have tried long enough. I shouldn’t waste any more time on you. You are no longer a Lukas, no longer my heir, and I will not see you in this house for another day!”

“Alright,” Evan’s voice was still calm. “Go for it. Get me someone to take me to wherever all those who I would actually call ‘family’ were banished to, then.” A mocking tone snuck into his words.

Martin bit his lip.

He threw the book he was still clutching in his hands back onto the shelf.

Without listening to the exchange any longer, he stomped to Evan’s room, where he waited, only to glare at his cousin with crossed arms when he finally arrived.

“Oh? Oh ...” Evan’s eyes widened for a moment when he saw his kid cousin. Then a frown took over as he understood. “Shit.” He closed the door behind him and tried to take Martin into his arms. “Marto. Listen.”

Martin took a step back, not letting his cousin come nearer. “You forgot that you would leave me alone with that move,” he said flatly. It wasn’t an accusation. It was a statement.

“What?! No! Don’t be stupid, I wouldn’t—” Evan bit his lower lip. He stared right back at his kid cousin. Guilt was written all over his face. “Yes.”

“You promised that you would always be with me!”

“I did! I do! I ...” Evan struggled for words. He tried a few times. But then he just gave up, defeated, he stayed where he was and did not try to get nearer to Martin anymore.

Martin could only stare at his cousin. He should be happy for Evan. His cousin had never liked the family nor the house after all. Martin was still upset.

“Great,” the boy nodded. He didn’t look at Evan anymore as he turned to the door. “Just great. And here I thought you tried so hard to be different from the rest of the family.”

“Marto!”

“Have a safe trip, Evan.”

He ran from the room before his cousin could see his tears. Martin hated himself for his reaction. He should have talked it through properly. They should have made plans to meet up or write each other or just find any way to stay in contact.

He wasn’t begrudging his cousin the way out of the One Alone.

Not really.

It was just too sudden.

If he had stayed and talked, he would have clung. He wouldn’t have let Evan leave. And Evan absolutely deserved to leave.

So, Martin let his cousin go, without seeing him off. He didn’t even look out of the window when he heard the car in the courtyard.

The note he found in his cousin’s room afterwards – the note with Evan’s awful, awful handwriting was something the boy always kept together with the first note Evan wrote years ago.

I’m still your cousin and your best friend, don’t forget that.

Chapter Text

Peter learned about Evan’s departure later on when he returned to Moorland House after another trip. His son hadn’t even mentioned it in the letter he had written. That made the captain worry even more about Martin. He knew how much his son loved his cousin even though they weren’t related by blood.

Was that really necessary? was a question that Peter really wanted to ask his own cousin, but he bit his tongue to stop himself from doing so. Of course had it been necessary.

Peter had seen his siblings leave like that. Judith and Aaron. They were not the first and Evan would not be the last. If Peter wasn’t so worried about his son, he wouldn’t have cared about it anyway. It was better for those who did not fit into the family to leave. Nathaniel had only been stubborn for too long.

If the captain was honest, he was surprised that Evan could stand being here for so long.

“Are you even listening?”

Nathaniel impatiently knocked on his desk to get Peter’s attention.

The captain only shifted his eyes to his cousin. They stared at each other for a moment. Then Peter slightly shrugged.

Nathaniel sighed. “As I was saying, I will start instructing Martin as well. Laura has told me that he is very bright and whatever he doesn’t get right away, he will make up by being hardworking. That’s enough for me for now. I just thought that I should let you know since you are his father.”

Peter rolled his eyes. He wasn’t asked whether he allowed it or not. It was just a notice that his cousin would be doing that. Although the captain wasn’t too surprised as he was only barely spending time with his son, he wished Nathaniel wasn’t just deciding things over everyone’s head.

In the end, Peter just asked: “Anything else?”

“No. I will consider the boy as my heir, though, if no one else more suited is found.”

Peter was already on his way to the door when he stopped and raised an eyebrow. Martin would be the first family head that didn’t have any blood relation to the Lukas family in ... what? In the entire history of the Lukas family?

Obviously, Nathaniel had been expecting that because he just stared at the captain as if he was daring him to say anything.

So, Peter stayed quiet and left for his son.

As always, Martin was in his – Peter’s – room. His son had acknowledged it and allowed entrance when Peter knocked, but he didn’t look up when his dad entered.

Martin laid in the fainting couch, his eyes firmly kept on the pages of the book in his hands.

The captain walked past him and dropped himself into his armchair. Quietly, he watched his son for a while. When Martin hadn’t turned even one page after five minutes, Peter called out his name.

The only reaction that came was that his son faded a bit into the fainting couch, fog rising around him like a protective wall.

Peter was quiet again.

He hated to be the one interrupting the silence. But he should be a dad. He should do something for Martin. Trying to take a deep breath, he felt ill at the thought of starting to talk. Still, as it was for his son, he did so: “It is weird, isn’t it? The way everything loses color and time becomes muddy. You don’t even remember when your last meal was or what color you are wearing. Things become so dull. Even the hobbies that we used to love.” Saying that, Peter reached out and gently pulled the book out of Martin’s hands.

There was no resistance.

He watched his son lowering his hands to his chest and silently staring at the ceiling. There was a deep breath, then the quiet question: “How can you describe it so well? You never mourned your siblings leaving, did you?”

“No.” Peter put the book on the table next to him and reached out to take one of his son’s hands. “But it is what I feel every time I leave you back here.”

Martin’s eyes shifted to him with an incredulous look that made the captain smile. It was rewarded with a small smile back from Martin.

With a long sigh, the boy sat up. “I just don’t understand. Why is Evan not suited? He leaves behind so much Loneliness just by not being around. He should be a perfect Lukas!”

“It is all about acceptance. He would be a perfect Lukas if he accepted us, his family. He never did.” Peter still didn’t want to talk too much. But as his son bravely held back his tears, the captain continued: “It’s the same reason why you fit in so much despite not being blood-related.”

That was enough to let the tears fall. As Martin reached out to be hugged by his dad and started crying, he whispered: “I miss him.”

Peter just returned the hug and silently stroked his son’s back.

The lessons with Nathaniel were much more practical than with Laura. After the initial instructions, Martin’s uncle would give him a set of papers which Martin had to work through in his own notebook while Nathaniel worked on them simultaneously. It both taught Martin how to work with finances and management and how to work with the same efficiency and speed as Nathaniel.

In the beginning, Martin was struggling. He had learned maths with Laura but to put it in relation with profits and margins was not something he loved. Especially not with the big numbers.

But the more his uncle aimed snide comments at him, the more he strived to be perfect. Somehow, he felt like he owed it to Evan. Furthermore, his goal was to someday be able to sass back at Nathaniel.

Everything the family head did was in line with the family’s patron. Martin learned how to manage most works through written correspondence. Phone calls were short and to the point. For the case of meeting people in person, he was taught how to make small talk that stayed impersonal and distant.

That was something Martin seemed to be good at because after a year, his uncle started to take him to galas, events, and meet-and-greets.

It led to Martin having a big variety of suits in his wardrobe, most of which he quickly grew out of within the span of a few months. He kept them as a collection of memories just like the gifts that Peter kept getting him.

“Yes, we’re in London right now. I don’t think we’ll leave before midnight, but you can still return to Moorland House with us.” Martin smiled as he heard his dad’s voice on the other side of the line. It drowned out the music and the constant chatter of the people at the anniversary party of some company.

He could practically see the captain’s grimace when the captain said: “That means a few hours in the same car as a tired and grumpy Nathaniel ...”

“But I’ll also be there,” Martin coaxed his dad softly.

“You would be anyway even if he hadn’t dragged you to that party!”

Ever since Martin was old enough, he also had started learning how to drive. Even now, before he officially got his license, he got to practice by taking Peter from the Moorland House to whichever harbour the Tundra was docking at and would go get Peter if he announced his return timely in advance.

“How are you holding up, Martin? Many people? And Nathaniel is drinking again?”

“It’s not too bad. And it’s only Uncle Nathaniel’s second glass of champagne, just so he looks somewhat sociable. He’s in an amicable mood as Conrad is also here.”

“Ah, the Daedalus project. Well, that one is too complicated for me. So, see you later, Martin.”

“See you, dad.” Smiling, Martin hung up.

A few voices and some snickering that he had been ignoring the whole time reached his ear again. He didn’t need to look to know they were two annoying heirs who he’d seen over and over again at these events as their parents obviously associated with the same people as the Lukas.

“See? I told you he wasn’t Nathaniel Lukas’ son. Must be that man’s errand boy.”

“No wonder he’s not talking to us. I thought he was too snobby, but it turns out that he’s just not in our league to be talking to us.”

Martin rolled his eyes at their stage whispering. He turned around to see them sneer at him. Champagne glasses were carelessly swung in their hands and their flushed cheeks spoke of them having had a drop too much.

It didn’t change the fact that they didn’t like Martin. The feeling was mutual.

Despite just being one or two years older than Martin at most, they boasted their wealth and the fact that they had been at these events ever since they were children. Martin’s late appearance and him refusing to drink with them while tattling about the other guests at the party had made them choose Nathaniel’s nephew as their bullying victim.

It was nothing Martin was bothered by. They had been annoying since day one. But today – maybe today he should teach them a little lesson.

The son of the bank chair and the son of some scientist? He didn’t care.

Sliding his flip phone into his pocket, he walked towards the event hall, passing the two brats.

When he was next to them, he leaned over. A little smile was on his lips when he said: “I don’t know who educated or raised you, but if the name ‘Martin Lukas’ equals ‘errand boy’ to you, then I am seriously considering their competence. Or they simply never cared about you at all.”

He didn’t stay to watch them being swallowed by the fog. Instead, he just braced himself for the volume of the music and chattering when he stepped back into the main hall.

Immediately, Martin felt two gazes shift to him.

From one corner of the room, Nathaniel stared at him, disapproving. The young man couldn’t help but shrug slightly. It was not like his uncle ever had any other sentiment for him than disapproval. It didn’t mean much. It could range from “that number looks like a six instead of a five” to “I swear to Forsaken, if you do that one more time”.

The other one looking at him was Conrad, his cousin twice removed. From the buffet, the man just raised his eyebrows and tapped his wristwatch.

Alright. Martin shouldn’t spoil the sponsorship with vanishing two heirs at once. So, he would need to get them out before they were missed. He would do so then. Eventually.

With a little sigh, Martin let his gaze wandered over the various glamorous people until he found the person again who had drawn his attention before Peter called. A young man by the window, as uncomfortable to be here as Martin was on his first day.

The smile returned to his lips. Now, that one was much more interesting than those two blokes in many ways.

Later, when the party had ended and Martin drove to the dock, he found himself in his dad’s tight hug while Nathaniel had also gotten out of the car to smoke. His uncle cursed in an overly annoyed tone: “Your son had too much fun tonight.”

“I know. I can feel it,” Peter replied and blissfully tightened the hug.

Martin groaned when the air was pressed out of his lungs. But he laughed. Especially, when he noticed that Uncle Nathaniel was also in closer proximity than he was normally.

And as Martin grew, so did his domain within the Forsaken and the clarity inside it.

A cliffside with a lighthouse. The faint and long forgotten salty smell of the sea. The Loneliness of waiting on top of the lighthouse, staring out to the horizon, waiting for the loved ones to return, not being able to go with them.

It was very much how he felt about living at Moorland House. He enjoyed it. It made him appreciate the times with his dad even more.

He was also very fond of his memories with Evan, but he had decided on letting his beloved cousin live his life. Even if it meant him ignoring all the letters and postcards that came every once in a while. Martin would take them, keep them, and carefully organizing them in his drawer. But he never opened or read them.

The only thing he knew about Evan now was that his cousin seemed to love travelling. Every postcard was custom-made with a selfie of Evan in front of a scenery of some different place. He was in the middle of the hustle and bustle of Times Square in New York. He obviously had made friends with a bunch of tourists on the plaza of the Forbidden Palace in Beijing. The markets of Morocco were colorful both in their displays and the people’s clothing. There was a long queue of people in front of a Japanese temple and Evan in the middle of it, his nose and cheeks red from the cold.

Utter joy radiated from all the pictures and made Martin smile when he was on top of the lighthouse, staring out onto the grey horizon. Evan was made for travel and people, just like how Martin was made for the silence and waiting.

Martin would always love his cousin, despite their distance. Sometimes he would let the scent of tea mingle into the smell of the sea. It was nostalgic and made Martin feel like Evan was still by his side.

The scent was stronger today. It was almost covering up the salt in the air. Martin could feel the slight warmth that touched his skin, right next to—

Martin perked up and found himself in his/Peter’s room again. Shooting up from the fainting couch, he turned his head and saw a cup or tea on his desk.

“You are late for your lesson.”

Laura stood by a bookshelf, dusting it off with her handkerchief, not looking at the young man.

Martin smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

He went to his desk and took the cup. It had cooled off to a nice temperature that it wasn’t burning against his cold skin. Carefully, he took a sip. It wasn’t as sweet as he normally liked to have it. But maybe that was good. He was almost an adult now, after all.

After a moment of consideration, Martin whispered: “Thanks for the tea, Laura. I really appreciate everything that you’ve done for me.”

As if on cue, his teacher put a new letter next to the cup. The handwriting was a dead giveaway that it was Evan’s.

A little sigh came over Martin’s lips. He was grateful that Laura didn’t comment on how he immediately slipped the letter into the drawer. Instead, the lady asked: “What? You’re done with calling me ‘old hag’?”

Their eyes lock for a moment. Martin laughed. “Long ago, Laura, long ago.”

“Hm. Well, don’t think I’ll go easy on your test with your flattery. I hope you haven’t forgotten that we’re doing the biology test today?”

“I would never dare.”

“Good. Sit down.”

The young man did and as he read through the questions his teacher had prepared for him, he let the bitter taste of the tea stay on his tongue.

By getting Peter from the harbours and taking him there, Martin got the chance to see the cities the Tundra docked at. He would always take his time to explore the surroundings.

He enjoyed the museums of London the most. It was fascinating how many people were there and yet almost everyone was by themselves when they regarded a painting or sculpture. It helped Martin find a lot of wonderfully lonely people. And he got to see beautiful art.

It was one of those days he made a new acquaintance. When he thought about it later, the young man was somehow sure that if he had never left Moorland House, she would have seeked him out there.

But instead, Martin saw her for the first time in the parking lot. He was about to get in his car and return home, when he noticed someone staring at him.

Because he preferred to avoid talking to strangers, he just let the fog rise faintly like a shield around him that let most people’s gazes slip off of him. But the staring didn’t stop, so Martin turned to face whoever watched.

The moment he did so, the girl smiled and waved. She was a young woman – maybe around his age? Her bleach-blonde hair almost looked white from the distance and for some reason, Martin didn’t need more to ascertain what she was.

As she beckoned him to come over, he sighed. Might as well learn what she wanted.

“So, you are Martin Lukas?” the young woman immediately asked once he was in earshot. The smile on her face made Martin’s skin crawl.

He didn’t respond. Instead, he just stared at her. Nathaniel had taught him that most of the time silence was the best answer to keep people talking because it made them nervous.

It didn’t seem to have the same effect here, as the girl just laughed. “Aw, come on, don’t be like that. You Lonely ones are really hard to get. I’ve always wanted to meet you. Spiders are very fond of you, Martin Lukas.”

Martin continued waiting, not surprised by her words. It was his first time meeting someone who served a different patron but he had felt it immediately.

The young woman stared back and for a moment, the silence settled over them like a blanket. The smirk on the stranger’s face didn’t wane even once. She was neither unsettled by the quiet nor put out by Martin’s rudeness.

Then, without any warning, she linked her arm with him. It was so fast that he didn’t even have the time to react. By the time Martin wanted to pull back, she had already gripped him tightly.

“Come on, let’s go have ice cream. It’s a date!”

“What?! Why?!” Martin sputtered. He felt himself being pulled along, even though he tried very hard to stand his ground. Curse the servants of the Spinner of Schemes. He thought he had a good relationship with spiders!

“Because I feel like having ice cream!”

That was how he found himself sitting across a young lady in vintage clothing in a crowded café. She was currently busy with enjoying the first spoon of a triple scoop, while Martin just had a tea, no cream, no sugar. He needed something strong to tune out the sound level. He really couldn’t tell whether he should feel safe with the amount of people around him in face of a Web avatar or whether this was even worse than being alone with her.

“You’re paying, by the way,” the young woman suddenly announced.

Martin choked on his tea. Coughing and trying not to make an even bigger fool of himself, he stared at her incredulously.

“You’re a Lukas! You’re rich!”

“I don’t even know your name! There’s no way we’re on a date and that I will pay for it!”

“Ah, are we finally talking now?” The girl put her spoon away. Daintily, she dabbed the corners of her mouth with a napkin before she looked straight at Martin. “My name Annabelle Cane, a speaker for the Mother, normally. But you don’t need to be alarmed. As I said in the beginning, I merely want to get to know you.”

Martin felt the scowl on his face when he demanded to know: “Why?”

“As I have also said, the spiders are fond of you. And because you should get to know those who serve the Fears! We all know each other in one way another – you should join the club as the Lukas’ future family head!” Annabelle replied cheerfully. Her demeanor was a stark contrast to the topic.

Martin couldn’t help it but feel like it was a threat.

But then he thought of Elias Bouchard, the Watcher, of whom Peter spoke so often. He thought of Maxwell Rayner, the acolyte of the Dark, who was in regular contact with Nathaniel and Conrad. Maybe they truly were all working together in some way despite serving different Patrons.

As if Annabelle knew what he was thinking, she smiled at him. “I’m sure you already know a few as you should in your position. So, I’ll be talking about those who do not ... live in upper society.” She resumed enjoying her ice cream. “Now then, shall I start with Jude Perry? Or Mike Crew? Or should I warn you about the various Hunters first ...?”

After a moment, she just started with someone entirely different, in the end, a Stranger named Nikola Orsinov, and worked her way from there. The Distortion, the Boneturner ... all of them. Annabelle was a fountain of knowledge when it came to who was who and who was associated with whom.

Martin didn’t dare to ask how she knew. Just like how he didn’t ask when she said she’ll send him a summary to his phone later when it got too much without ever asking for his phone number.

By the time they finished, Martin had had his fourth cup of tea and that lovely cheesecake he had been eyeing the whole time while Annabelle had gotten herself a sandwich.

“Great, that should bring you up to date with everyone in and around London for now. I’ll get in contact with you again if anything changes. Or whenever we have the time for you to get to know more people.”

While Martin wasn’t as distrustful anymore, he still had to ask: “Why are you doing this? The Spinner of Schemes was never one to explain, at least not from what I know.”

Annabelle smiled at him and batted her eyelashes.

Martin sighed. Of course this was the one thing she wouldn’t explain to him. After this, he appreciated it even more that his dad tried. Peter was never good at explaining, but at least he genuinely tried.

“Would you believe me if I said I hope this knowledge will keep you safe once you start living in London?”

“No. And I don’t have any reason to start living in London.”

“You will.”

“Nope.”

He did.

Martin has always known that he would have to leave Moorland House once he entered university. He had heard Evan talk about it so often. When he had this conversation with Annabelle, he hadn’t decided which university to go to, yet.

It ended up being London.

Chapter Text

There was no real farewell from Moorland House.

Martin and anyone staying there knew he would not leave forever. He would come home during semester breaks and whenever the family needed him – especially if it was a family funeral.

Both Nathaniel and Laura had similar things to say which essentially boiled down to “Don’t disappoint me with your studies.”

Peter was not at Moorland House anyway and being in London actually made it easier for Martin to meet his dad.

So, while his teacher had helped him pack and told him to just write her if he needed her to send anything to him that he had forgotten, Nathaniel was the one to see him off. Mostly, to hand him some keys.

“You do need your own car if you are going to go back and forth a lot.”

Martin stared at the keys in surprise.

Nathaniel had asked him to look at various cars and test drive them for the family head after he officially got his license a few months ago. The young man hadn’t expected it to be for him, though.

“Thank—” He couldn’t even properly start thanking his uncle, when Nathaniel already waved him off.

“Go. Your flat in London should be finished by now and I need to get back to work.” Like that, his uncle turned around and walked back into the house.

Martin watched him leave with a smile on his face before he turned to look at his new car, still astonished.

It slightly helped him with the nervosity about leaving. He had spend some good ten years here without leaving too often. It was only in the recent years that he went to different places with Nathaniel.

When it was decided that he should pursue a degree, It was a long discussion between him and his uncle.

(“Do I even need to get a degree? I mean, yeah, sure, but does it have to be one in business?”

“Yes.”

“But why? I just want to take over the Tundra one day!”

“Even better. You will need to take over Solus Shipping PLC then.”

“Now you’re stretching it!”)

Martin ended up liking his classes. He sometimes also sneaked into the literature classes if he wanted to just relax but business and management were very interesting to learn from so many different people with different lecturing styles.

He also didn’t mind his classmates. While he had been aloof at the events just as expected of him from Nathaniel, he wasn’t about to antagonize anyone in his classes. Not if he would see most of them almost every day for the next two to three years.

Instead, Martin adapted to being forgettable and invisible. Nothing to make him stand out too much. Perfect grades to satisfy his uncle but average on the surface in everything else.

The name “Lukas” did raise a few eyebrows here and there but with Martin keeping a low profile – despite his expensive car and clothes –, many chalked it up to coincidence that the business and management student had the same last name as a rich family that owned several companies.

It was easy for Martin. Smile, nod, be helpful, but don’t stick out. Being forgettable also made it easy for him to lure a few people into the Lonely without being noticed. He wanted to be able to stay here for a long while, after all. Especially because he also loved his new flat.

Martin had let his dad decide where he should live. His only requirement was that it was not in one of the student dorms as Martin dreaded the thought of also bumping into other students off campus. He was ready to commute as long as he got his quiet.

Peter ended up choosing a flat in Chelsea. “Makes things much easier for me!” the captain had cheerfully commented.

Martin didn’t understand until he moved in and found out that the Magnus Institute was only a few streets away. He could only sigh and shake his head at the revelation. He would never understand why his dad liked hanging out with an Eye avatar so much.

At least it was a really nice flat. It was the place where he was truly alone besides in the One Alone. He wasn’t sharing his space with anyone and on days when the city life got too much, he just needed to be in his flat and everything would tune out.

As it was on the fifth floor, it was like his lonely lighthouse he had gotten used to. The only difference was that he was able to see other people. He could watch how others lived their life, hurry about their day to get home to their families again. He could see how groups of friends hung out with each other and laughed while walking along the street.

The distance was good. His new life was good.

He didn’t expect his doorbell to ring one month after he had moved in.

While Martin walked to the door, he checked his phone. Did Peter forget to tell him that he was back?

“Huh.”

Martin raised his eyebrows when he noticed that there was no message from his dad. He was already opening the door.

He looked up just in time to have a bouquet of flowers shoved into his face.

“House-warming gift!” a chipper voice announced.

Martin’s face fell. He scowled at the woman as his arms automatically took the flowers. “Is there any reason for you to show up like this, Annabelle Cane?”

“You haven’t invited me to your new flat yet, even though I did tell you that you will be here in London! So, I had to take matters into my own hands!”

Annabelle walked into the flat as if she owned it and started inspecting it.

Martin could only helplessly stare after her.

After a moment, the young woman stopped and looked at him with raised eyebrows. “What? I surely don’t have to invite you into your own place? Don’t just stand by the door! Oh, and careful with the flowers, some of my little friends are in there.”

With an annoyed sigh, Martin rolled his eyes. He moved towards the kitchen counter to search for something that he could use as a vase.

The moment he set the flowers down, he could see at least three house spiders scurrying away. He frowned slightly. He didn’t like the idea of the Web invading his flat like that. But then again, they were spiders. Some would have appeared sooner or later anyway, and he wouldn’t have known whether they were with the Spinner of Schemes or not. Like this, he at least knew.

Spiders were useful anyway. That’s why he had always loved them. They could take care of the bugs and be his pest control. Thinking about it like this ... yeah, Martin rather had the Web than the Corruption infesting his home.

“Really lovely place. A bit lonely, but I did not expect anything else.” In the meantime, Annabelle obviously had given herself a tour through the apartment. Now her voice was drifting over from the study. “Am I the first friend to come over?”

“We’re not friends?!” Martin shouted from the kitchen, indignant. He quickly put the flowers in the vase he had found before he walked over to his study. “We’ve talked before. Yes. Once. That doesn’t make us fri—”

He stopped when he saw that Annabelle had been going through his desk.

“Put them down!” he growled as he recognized Evan’s letters in her hand. Fog immediately rose in the room as a threat.

Annabelle only glanced at him before she neatly put the unopened envelopes back into the drawer. “Evan Lukas? A relative?”

Martin glared at her, not answering. He only controlled the fog as much as it stayed low to the ground. But it stayed.

Obviously not letting herself be bothered by it, Annabelle walked past her host out of the room and said: “You should visit him. Family is always important.”

“Why do you care?”

“As I said, I want you safe.”

“And as you know, I don’t believe you.”

“Okay. I have a deal with someone.”

“Haha. Very funny.”

Martin turned around to watch her as she went into the living room. When she sat down on the couch, he suppressed a groan. It didn’t look like she would be leaving soon. Thus, he followed and took a seat in the armchair across of her.

Annabelle’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “How about I ask it as a favor? You go visit Evan Lukas and I owe you something. A favor. Maybe you’ll need me to pull the strings to get someone stubborn roped into a deal with the Lukas family?”

Martin stared at her. Immediately, a few investors came to his mind who would be of benefit to the family. They only had “ethical concerns” about the contracts that had been presented to them.

He quickly stopped himself from continuing the train of thought.

Annabelle was an avatar of the Web. And she would do that? Just for him to go see his cousin?

He only could repeat his question: “Why?”

Annabelle’s smile sent a shiver down his spine. “Because I want to show you the benefits of working with me through a no-risk transaction. You will be gaining way more out of this than me.” She leaned forward in the couch, looking straight at Martin with her smile and her head in her hand. “I want to offer you a business relationship. A favor for a favor, that is all. And each of us can always decline any request and it will be seen as a favor from the requester to not pursue it. How does it sound?”

Martin carefully weighed her words. He shouldn’t agree on anything that was just a spoken contract. Especially not with the Spinner of Schemes.

It sounded too good to be true.

He still found himself considering it. “So, let’s say I go visit Evan. You’re currently offering me to get me a business partner to agree to sign a paper they have been refusing before?”

“Correct.”

“And you say, hypothetically, I want ... I don’t know, Simon Fairchild and you refuse because you don’t meddle with the Vast, then you’ll be owing me two favors instead?”

“Yes, I am.”

“And this is just ... an introductory offer because normally we won’t know in advance what the other wants as the returned favor, right?”

Annabelle laughed quietly. She seemed satisfied. “Nathaniel has taught you well.”

His uncle indeed had. And yet, here the heir of the Lukas family was, seriously considering Annabelle Cane’s offer.

Martin leaned back in his armchair and crossed his legs. Putting his fingertips together, he scrutinized the young woman as he tried to put together what her ultimate goal was.

There were loopholes. She hadn’t talked about how many favors one could accumulate. Or how much the favors had to be equal in value. He could work with it. Somehow Martin felt like he could twist their relationship to his advantage.

By the Forsaken, Martin was very aware that it was hubris to think he could use the Spider’s own web against it. But he wanted to see it woven. He was curious about how beautiful it would look in the end. As beautiful as the ones he used to admire near Moorland House in autumn that sparkled with droplets from the fog? Even more beautiful?

So, when Annabelle probed again “Business partners?”, Martin nodded.

“A favor for a favor.”

Martin paced along the block for the third time. He looked at the door, sighed, and turned around once again. Maybe it was good that passersby’s gazes slipped off of him. He would have been very suspicious. Especially since it was already evening and almost dark.

In the end, with him accepting Annabelle’s deal, he finally opened Evan’s letters. They were lovely descriptions of the places his cousin had been to. Evan had always made sure to leave an address or a phone number for Martin to contact him.

Martin had never done so.

He hadn’t even contacted Evan right now; he just went straight to the last address he had been given. The last update was from three years ago. Was Evan even still living here?

Martin stopped pacing to stare at the building once again. From all he could gather, it was a student dormitory. Shared spaces, small rooms, and even from here, Martin could hear music being blasted over speakers from various windows.

It was a perfect place for Evan – if he was still here. How old was Evan now? 21? 22? It was possible that he was still a student.

Martin just dreaded the thought of lingering by the door for too long while trying to find a bell with his cousin’s name. What if he bumped into someone who would then start to talk to him?

As if to validate his thoughts, the main door opened in that very moment. A group of older students left the building, chatting and laughing loudly.

Since Martin was far away enough, he just stayed and tried to not stare at them. He failed, when one of them turned his head to look straight at him.

Martin stood there, frozen.

The other young man blinked for a moment. Then a familiar dazzling smile spread across his face.

“Marto? Marto, is that you?!”

Not waiting for answer, Evan ran towards him and tackled him with a hug.

Martin still tried to match that face with his memories of Evan. How long had it been? Five years? An eternity for teenagers growing into adulthood.

Martin was still struggling with the facial recognition, but Evan hadn’t hesitated one bit.

Only when Martin noticed that his vision was blurry not just from the impact but from actual tears, he lifted his arms to return the hug.

It was definitely Evan. His cousin who was still so very warm. Who was always bigger and stronger than him. Who would always protect him. Who would always be his home.

The hug and the smell were so nostalgic. Martin didn’t doubt whether he had the right person or not anymore.

He was here now, hugging his cousin tightly to make up for the last time they had seen each other, where he had refused the touch.

“I have always waited for you to come find me. Thank you,” Evan whispered, not about to let go any time soon, either.

Martin could only bury his face in Evan’s shirt. He heard his cousin’s friends finally catching up, murmuring curiously, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t let Evan go again.

Once they were near enough, one of Evan’s fellow students shouted in realization: “Oooh! ‘Marto’! You’re the kid cousin!”

The murmuring turned into a full discussion that Martin could barely discern.

“What? That’s him?”

“Yeah, that’s him!”

“His name was ‘Martin’, wasn’t it?”

“Oh, the one that Evan never stops babbling about! ‘My kid cousin likes spiders.’, ‘This is my kid cousin’s favorite tea.’, ‘Let me take a picture for my kid cousin!’ That one!”

Martin stopped hugging his cousin. He stared at the other young men as he slowly processed the jumbled mess. His lips quivered.

Evan had always been thinking about him. He had always missed him and talked about him. And Martin – Martin hadn’t even opened one of his letters.

He was feeling sick.

“I ... I shouldn’t be here. You were about to go out, weren’t you? I’ll see you another day, Evan, okay? Go out with your friends.” He barely managed to keep his voice steady. It was thin and quiet.

“Don’t be stupid.” Evan didn’t even let him fully untangle from the hug. He only moved to glare at his friends. But he did not part from Martin as his hand slipped onto Martin’s back. “Don’t let them ruin our reunion! Have you even had dinner yet? No? Then you’re coming with us.”

Martin was sure his heart would burst at the familiar touch. But he shouldn’t be staying. He opened his mouth to protest—

“Marto,” Evan’s voice took on a stern tone as he looked him right in the eye. “Who am I?”

Martin’s breath hitched. He looked his cousin in the eye. It was still that deep beautiful blue that calmed him. Just thinking of the answer made the long-forgotten warmth spread in his chest. It made it easy to ignore that Evan’s fellow students were watching them right now.

“You’re my cousin and my best friend,” Martin whispered solemnly. It had been years since he had last said it.

The smile that spread over Evan’s face was dazzling. “Correct! And now, let me buy you some food, kid cousin!”

Evan knew that it would have been a lie if he had said that he had never doubted that Martin would come to him one day. If he didn’t have a friend that assured him that his kid cousin would be reaching out to him, he would have given up that particular hope.

Now, here Martin was. He had grown so much that it nearly took Evan’s breath away. Martin’s face was still round and his cheeks still squishable. But his eyes had gotten so hard and tired that it made Evan sad by just looking at them.

Also, Martin’s body was so cold now. Evan missed the warmth he used to feel whenever he hugged Martin.

Despite everything he had promised, in the end, he had left and his kid cousin was obviously claimed by the Lonely. It was his fault. That was why he didn’t let Martin out of his sight even once ever since his kid cousin stood in front of his student dormitory.

Even now at the pub and with his friends’ teasing, Evan only had eyes for Martin.

“Oh, and try these pickles, they are amazing,” Evan kept talking to Martin as he pushed over a plate.

The slight frown his kid cousin had at those words told him that Martin had become a picky eater – he never was when they were back home.

Oh.

Martin still took it and ate it despite being unwilling. Maybe he just didn’t hide his distaste as much as he used to as a kid anymore?

Evan grinned at the revelation.

He only half listened to his friends practically interviewing Martin about how Evan was as a child. Nothing was a surprise or secret after all. Evan could proudly say that he was still true to himself and hadn’t changed at all. It was his kid cousin that had changed, and Evan’s heart ached for it. But that was nothing his fellow students needed to know.

Martin did his best with answering. He seemed shy and his smile made him even more withdrawn than outgoing. But he managed, and Evan enjoyed taking in all the new sides of his best friend.

They had so much to catch up on. They would. It didn’t look like Martin was going to run away again as soon as he had the chance. At least not if Evan went by the hug he had received.

About an hour into the dinner, Evan noticed the change.

The smile on Martin’s lips got more tired. He started fidgeting and the tips of his hair became slightly translucent. That was the cue.

Evan had seen his father like that often enough. He had seen Uncle Peter like that – even when the captain was at Moorland House.

So, the young man stood up and clapped into his hands. “Well then, I’ll return first. I can’t properly talk to my kid cousin with you guys trying to hog him. I’ll see you all tomorrow anyway.”

“Evan, you spoilsport!” – “Oh yeah, of course. You put your kid cousin over us, we know, we know.” – “Marto, is that the reason your cousin still hasn’t found a partner? You gotta help him!”

The teasing rose in volume and tone for a moment, but his friends all smiled and shuffled to let the two of them leave.

The cousins’ gazes met, and Evan could see the gratitude in Martin’s eyes. He winked at his kid cousin and pulled him towards the door as he shouted over his shoulder: “See you tomorrow!”

A moment later, they both were outside in the cool night air.

Martin visibly took a breath. But he smiled at Evan. “They’re nice people, your friends.”

“They are, aren’t they?” Evan nodded. “Now, shall we go? Where are you staying, anyway? Do you have to return to Moorland House now?”

“Oh. No. I actually live in London now. I study here.”

“No way.”

“Heh, yeah. A bit more than a month now. I hadn’t told you, sorry. But I just did now?”

“Yes! You need to tell me where and we’ll meet up more often then. Maybe even on campus or something like that!”

Evan watched Martin laugh and nod. It was yet only a shade of how bright the smile used to be. They had been separated for too long, but Evan planned to get Martin’s old laughter back.

“But yes. Let me walk you home and then I can get a cab,” Martin offered.

Evan huffed. “I should be the one walking you home! But okay, this time we’ll do it like that.”

He knew that the dorm was definitely nearer compared to wherever Martin was staying. So, they started the walk back.

After a while, he could not help but ask quietly: “How is father?”

“Hm. As good as an avatar of the One Alone is?” Martin hazarded. “We’re not exactly doing small talk when we’re with each other, you know? Just business.”

The words made Evan grin. That tracked with how his life was when he was still at Moorland House. He glanced at his kid cousin. “I heard he made you his successor?”

“Until someone more suited is found,” Martin immediately retorted in his best imitation of Nathaniel.

Evan laughed. It did sound like his father. Although he had hoped that his kid cousin would always stay the little boy, a little bit shy but full of warmth, he knew that there was no one better suited than Martin. It reminded him of his constant fights with Nathaniel. “I’m sorry that my father always hated you because of me.”

“Eh.” Martin waved his hand and shrugged. “He doesn’t hate me anymore. He’s only strict. But who am I telling that?”

Evan nodded. He doubted his father had ever actually hated him. It was just disappointment. Utter disappointment. A lot of hurt on both sides. They weren’t going to forgive each other for anything. But there was no hate.

He glanced at his kid cousin and saw the tired lines around his eyes. Although Martin tried to have a conversation and to keep smiling, Evan could see that it was straining him. As much as he loathed it, he took a deep breath and then asked: “Do you want to ... um, dematerialize? Disappear? Whatever it is you do to spend time in the Lonely?” He fidgeted with a few loose strands of his hair. “It was too much, wasn’t it? My friends are ... quite outgoing.”

Martin turned to look at him. His eyes were wide in surprise and there was a certain stubbornness in his face. “Maybe. But I won’t leave you alone here? Don’t even offer that? There’s barely anyone on the street anymore, it’s fine.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah!”

Evan stopped walking and raised his eyebrows, looking straight at Martin.

Martin returned it for a moment. His chin raised in defiance. But when a passing car made him flinch, he sighed and stared down at his feet. “Okay. A little bit?”

Evan immediately nodded. As he turned around to resume walking again, he suggested: “Hey. How about you put your hand on my back, then, that I know you’re still here, even if I can’t see you? I can keep an eye out for both of us.”

He heard Martin snort behind him. It made him grin. Obviously, his kid cousin was also reminded of their time as children, sneaking through Moorland House.

“Alright.”

When an ice-cold hand was placed on his back, Evan shuddered.

Get yourself together, Evan, it’s Marto.

He didn’t know whether Martin noticed it or not when he exhaled to relax himself. He was not going to start to be afraid of his kid cousin now. Martin would never be the same as his father. Never.

And the small promise that Martin whispered, made him sure of it: “This time, I won’t leave you again.”

There was a strange echo to the words.

Evan turned his head slightly to look back. He couldn’t see Martin anymore. Just a last wisp of fog that was quickly dispersed by the wind.

But he still felt the cold on his back. It was still freezing in this warm late summer air.

So, Evan smiled and just whispered back: “I know.”

Chapter Text

The years of his studies were busier than Martin had anticipated. It weren’t the studies themselves but the fact that there were so many people who wanted something from Martin.

Back in Moorland House, he used to only have Evan until his cousin left the house. Then he had the clear-cut schedule of being taught by Laura and Nathaniel alternatively, broken by his dad’s visits every few weeks or months.

Now, Martin spent time with his cousin on a weekly basis. They either went out together to eat, to the movies, or just hung out at Martin’s flat. During exam season, Evan would practically move into his kid cousin’s study as the dorms were too loud for him to concentrate on learning.

Because of that, Martin got good at cooking. Whenever Evan was in his learning mode, he would forget the time even worse than when Martin with the Forsaken. Another reason for Martin to keep his cousin around during that time was that he seemed to keep down Evan’s stress. Evan had told him that whenever they were together, he’d smoke less than without his kid cousin around.

“Really, I don’t remember seeing you this invested in your studies back home.” Martin grinned as he put a plate of pasta on the desk after Evan still hadn’t responded by the fifth knocking and flicked on the light.

In a daze, Evan looked up. He blinked a few times before he was able to process Martin’s words. “Because I neither liked my teacher nor learning about the family’s history?” Protecting his notes from accidental spills, he shuffled them aside and took the plate. While he did so, he looked at his kid cousin pointedly. “I don’t remember you not struggling with your studies.”

“Well, Uncle Nathaniel made sure that I meet his standards? And I’m not studying something as difficult as biochemistry,” Martin replied with a glance at Evan’s textbooks.

“It’s not as hard as it looks if you take your time to learn it,” Evan immediately defended himself, mouth full of food.

When Martin reflexively stared at him with a disapproving expression that Evan had told him looked exactly like Laura’s, Evan stuck his tongue out.

Martin only laughed and left the room, so his cousin could continue learning.

When Evan graduated a year later, Martin felt like a proud parent.

Aside from the regular meetings with his cousin, Martin also spent more time with his dad. He was meeting his dad much more often now than when he was at Moorland House. Mostly it was because at times, when the Tundra was only docking for one or two days, it just wasn’t feasible for Peter to return to the house. With Martin being in London now, it had become easier for the captain to visit.

Sometimes the young man would get a warning in advance. Most of the time the captain just showed up to wherever he was.

“Dad,” Martin whined, trying to make it as quick as possible. “Dad, please ...”

It was one thing to be greeted by Peter at the gates of his university. It was a wholly other thing to be greeted with a bear hug in the midst of everyone leaving.

“It’s been weeks again, Martin,” Peter just replied, almost lifting the young man off his feet with his hug.

Martin only groaned and hoped it would be over soon.

He always thought that his dad minded crowds just as much as he did. But it looked like when it came to seeing his son again after weeks, nothing mattered to the captain. He was also pretty sure that Peter would still carry him around, even through the city, if Martin wasn’t too big for that now. Age didn’t seem to matter.

Instead, his dad seemed to be happy enough by taking his hand when they walked home. “So you don’t get lost in the crowd,” was Peter’s reasoning.

Martin dreaded the thought that his fellow student would recognize Captain Peter Lukas and all his efforts of being unnoticed and forgettable would be in vain. Forsaken be damned, Martin would be very mad at his dad if he was doing this on purpose as a favor for that stupid, stupid Eye avatar Bouchard.

Because of that, whenever it was possible, Martin would be at the harbour first to greet his dad, so he wouldn’t be surprised anywhere.

At least he had the Tundra’s schedule. As the crew members had made it their task to teach him swimming whenever they had shore leave ever since Martin wasn’t allowed on the ship anymore, the captain’s son always needed to know when to expect them.

It still didn’t help whenever he got too busy with the others and forgot that his dad was returning. In the end, the young man ended up being surprised by Peter far more often than he was able to catch him at the harbour.

“So, when I’m allowed back on the Tundra anyway?” Martin asked over a dinner at a restaurant his dad had rented out for them.

Once the initial reunion was over, Peter was quick to retreat to places where they would be alone. Martin always felt more comfortable like this, even if renting out a whole restaurant was excessive.

“I mean, I understand your decision from back then, but it’s been over ten years. I think I’m quite capable of defending myself now.”

“Mhhh.” Peter made a non-committal noise and kept on eating.

Martin scowled. “Dad?”

“Look at you, glaring like Nathaniel.”

“Oh, stop comparing me to Uncle Nathaniel! Evan does that enough with Laura.”

“He has a point,” Peter replied cheerily. “So, you’re seeing your cousin again?”

“Yes, dad. I am. But stop evading my questions about the Tundra!”

“Let’s wait until you’re finished with your degree and then we’ll talk again, okay?”

“Dad!”

No matter how much Martin tried to talk to Peter about their beloved ship, the captain would always put his son off and change the subject.

Meanwhile, Nathaniel roped Martin more and more into his duties as the heir of the Lukas family.

Nowadays, Nathaniel often expected him to attend meetings and other events in his place whenever the family head didn’t feel like leaving Moorland House.

Martin would always curse up a storm but obey anyway.

Still, it didn’t sit well with him that everyone seemed to be keeping him away from the Tundra. More often than not, he would spend his time moping in his lighthouse after Peter left for another voyage again.

At those times, Annabelle would always call him, who took up more of his time than Martin had ever anticipated.

Sometimes, it would be an actual business call when she was in need of a favor. The first time she called in a favor after their initial deal was because of some Hunt-aligned avatars having their eyes set on her. Under her instructions, Martin was able to locate them and vanish them into the One Alone for a while which threw them off and forced them to back down.

In return, Martin got Annabelle to secure him a work experience as a business adviser at a rivaling company without anyone noticing him being a Lukas. Causing a minor problem in the company all while getting the credits for his degree was a breeze. It was harder to explain to Nathaniel how he managed to do it without mentioning the help of a Web avatar.

At other times, Annabelle would just call to hang out or to annoy Martin. They often went to various street food vendors together. Martin was also secretly having fun walking through thrift stores with her to find the most interesting outfits, even if he would complain in her presence.

It didn’t take long for him to be comfortable with her. He was even comfortable enough to call her for a favor once during a student party.

“Annabelle. I don’t know why I agreed to come to this and why I am still here. But they are not letting me leave. Please come and pretend to be my girlfriend and throw a tantrum or something like that.”

The cackle that ensued from the other end of the line immediately made Martin regret his decision. She was still laughing when she arrived to pull him away from the party without making him look rude. It worked out.

Martin dreaded the favor she was going to ask of him in return.

In the end, Annabelle stuck to the bit and got herself a discount on a yoga class.

“What?!” Martin stared out of the window, aghast, trying to figure out whether he misheard or whether his phone was broken.

“Oh, you heard me right. It’s a couple’s special! If you go with your significant other, you get 70% off! I already signed us up, you are going with me.”

“But ...”

“You’re owing me a favor, Lukas.”

“I can still decline!”

“But you won’t,” Annabelle cooed over the line. “Because this is the easiest for you to do. I will up my game if you decline this.”

Swallowing a curse, Martin closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Annabelle obviously took it as a sign of agreement and warbled: “Great, I’ll see you on Thursday. And it’s just ten times – so! You’re done in ten weeks!”

Martin would never say that they were friends. They were just as close as they could be considering their Patrons.

But he had to admit life away from Moorland House wasn’t too bad. Life in general wasn’t too bad with his family and friends accompanying him along his way.

When Martin received the invitation to Laura’s funeral, it felt like someone threw him into the deep dark sea.

He hadn’t seen her anymore ever since he left Moorland House. He only kept in contact by writing her a few times to keep her updated on his situation. One time, he sent a book with a note that she might need it whenever she was going to teach a new Lukas. Of course, Laura had never answered but that had only made Martin looking forward to seeing her again when he returned.

He had never thought about her not being there anymore. He should have expected it, though. Laura had already been old when he was adopted, after all. He should have expected it and yet he didn’t.

Once more, Martin stared at the invitation. The handwriting was unfamiliar. Nothing about it felt familiar. He remembered when he wrote the last ones, when he helped Laura inviting the family to his granduncle’s funeral.

Trying to breathe, Martin looked at his flat that had become grey and almost shade-like. He had to calm down. A death like this was normal in the Lukas family. No one had expected it and they should take the moment to attune to the One Alone again.

It didn’t come easily to Martin. He was rather happy that he and Evan were going to meet up later that day.

It wasn’t quite what he had expected when his cousin just raised his eyebrows. “Oh? is that old hag finally dead?”

Right. Evan had never liked Laura. He had never learned to love her like Martin did. He didn’t have the same bond, the same reason to grieve. Evan had never depended on Laura’s little acts of kindness to not be completely lonely in the big estate sometimes.

Martin didn’t know what face he had made but it must have been something because his cousin’s expression changed to something frantic and then to guilt.  Quickly, he said: “I’m sorry, Marto. I’m sorry for your loss. I just can’t say ... that I see her as a relative. Nonetheless, is there anything I can help you with?”

Martin slowly shook his head. “I’ll just need to pack a few things before I return. You won’t come, will you?”

“No,” Evan replied softly. He shifted his chair to put his hand on his kid cousin’s back and Martin let him.

Martin stared at the table of the café. He took a breath and tried to relax under Evan’s warm touch. Then he asked quietly: “Can you just stay with me for a while?”

He knew he didn’t need to ask and his cousin also didn’t disappoint him. Asking just made everything more bearable as it meant chasing away the silence for a moment.

Evan stayed with him until he was able to sort out his thoughts.

He wasn’t mad at his cousin for the cold words in the beginning. He couldn’t be because he knew how the family had treated its former heir.

It still had stung to hear Evan so unaffected by a death, especially because it was someone dear to Martin. But when his cousin lit a cigarette without taking his hand away from Martin’s back, Martin knew he cared.

Up until now, he had only seen Evan smoke when his cousin was stressed, and even if it wasn’t for Laura, Evan was stressed for Martin. That was enough for the young man.

The funeral was as bleak and silent as Martin remembered them to be.

It was so cold that he wished he was still a little child to be held by his dad throughout the procedure. But he had to keep up appearances. So, he wasn’t even by his dad’s side during the funeral but by Nathaniel’s.

Martin couldn’t bear looking at his old teacher because the dead Laura in the coffin had a statuesque face and no hint of warmth that he sometimes had been able to see a glimpse of.

The moment everything was over, Martin practically fled the main hall to go to Laura’s room. It had been tidied up and none of her personal belongings were around. Not even the textbooks Martin had sent her. It was just another empty, impersonal room at Moorland House.

When Martin heard shuffling at the door behind him, he didn’t turn around. Instead, he was wringing his hands desperately. “I had ... I had hoped for at least something to be left behind. Something of her. A farewell, a gift, anything. But ... but I was asking for too much, wasn’t I? There is even nothing left to mourn.”

He sighed, feeling his own breath tremble. Before the tears could fall, he turned around to his dad. “Will it ... be the same when you ... go?”

Peter stood there, not quite looking at his son. He was turned to Martin, but his gaze was distant, his expression unreadable. As always, he was wearing his coat, and as always, it looked like he was ready to leave.

Martin felt so small again.

Unseen and unimportant.

The last time was when his granduncle was still alive.

Thrown back to those days, Martin took a step forward and looked at his dad, as terrified of everything as when he was still a child.

“Will you please at least tell me if something is wrong? You’ve always promised to come back, and you’ve always done so. But if there is ever a day where you feel like you can’t keep that promise, can you at least warn me?”

Martin heard himself pleading but he couldn’t stop himself.

“Will you at least tell me, dad? Please? You won’t just leave like this, will you? You will at least leave something behind. That I know you existed. You won’t just ... vanish, right? Please.”

“Martin.”

Peter’s strict voice and the way he clasped his hand on his son’s shoulder sent a shiver down Martin’s spine.

His dad had only been strict to him on one occasion before. It was when the captain had decided that his son would not set foot on the Tundra again until he deemed it safe. Exceptions were only made when Martin wanted to see The Captain again.

It was a clear sign that Martin’s tantrum was not appreciated.

Martin swallowed. The terrifying feeling was not leaving his chest. But he couldn’t let it win. If he didn’t want his dad to be more upset with him, he needed to calm down.

While still struggling, Martin did his best to take a deep breath. It was shaky. He dug his fingers into the hem of his suit jacket to keep them from trembling.

“Yes. You’re right.”

He was a Lukas.

He did not get scared of the One Alone. No, he grew stronger in it and relished it. He only put the fear of the Forsaken in others. It was his domain. Also, he shouldn’t unintentionally feed the End, as well.

Martin schooled his expression. He had to stop thinking about Laura. She would want to be forgotten.

Peter’s face started brightening up the more his son calmed down.

In the end, he slapped him on the back and cheerily asked: “Well? Shall we return to London?”

Graduating was one thing. Applying for a job was another. Especially if it was a job at the UCL Biochemistry departments. It was highly coveted for its prestige but, more importantly, it had no ties to the Lukas family whatsoever.

Evan knew he was a very outgoing person and able to manage every social situation ever since he left the family and was more amongst people.

Yet, right now, he was very nervous. He had been loitering in front of the building for half an hour now, almost done with his second cigarette. If he didn’t go in soon, he would be late.

Instead, Evan pulled out his phone once again to look at the last messages from ten minutes ago.

Marto: Go in, doofus.

You: I’m already inside!

Of course, Martin had known how nervous he was and had sent the message unprompted. And, of course, Evan had lied. He couldn’t ask his kid cousin for support now or he would never hear the end of it that he was too scared to walk into a building that he even lied about it.

With a sigh, Evan withstood the temptation to take out a third cigarette. This was not worse than being called to his father’s office. He would get through this. It was alright. He knew how to talk to people. His grades were amazing. There was no reason for them to not pick him.

He had to do this and be successful, so that he could guide Martin who would graduate in two months. In contrast to him, his kid cousin had only focused on the studies and mandatory internships while Evan had loved to use the various opportunities to go abroad. He socially more capable.

Yes.

Evan could do this.

The first thing Evan saw when he stepped into the waiting room was the young woman who was nervously playing with her hands.

Immediately, he forgot his own nervousness about the job interview and scowled. If he looked into the mirror now, it would remind him of his father. The scowl he had always hated so much. But he couldn’t force himself into the dismissing smile he normally had in these situations.

He just couldn’t help it as he saw how the Lonely clung to that woman.

No matter how far Evan had distanced himself from the family, it was an ability that had remained.

It helped when it was with Martin. Evan knew his kid cousin very well, after all, and he knew how to help. Even when it was just a little bit at times as Martin had embraced the Lonely readily. But the ability was not helpful if it was with complete strangers.

He took a seat far away from the young lady. He shouldn’t pay attention. He had a job interview coming up. There was no time to be pulled into whatever bullshit his family’s patron was up to.

Yet, Evan’s gaze kept wandering back to the woman.

After a while, he took a different approach.

Maybe it wasn’t too bad. Maybe he could use his powers to help the people who needed it the most feel less lonely. Maybe he could help more people than just his kid cousin.

A little smile played on Evan’s lips as he took heart and shuffled to the chair right next to the woman.

“Hey. You here for the interview, too?”

The young woman stared at him with wide eyes. It took a moment before she nodded.

Evan kept talking quietly, carefully to not scare her off.

He was practiced at how to be gentle with closed-off people thanks to his kid cousin, even if he fondly remembered that he overdid it as a child.

Naomi Herne.

She was just as nervous as Evan was. At first it looked like she was annoyed by the distraction but soon she gladly took it.

They started talking about their career up until now, where they had studied, and how their courses had differed.

It was a light conversation but comfortable.

Naomi’s smile made his heart flutter.

All the anxiety from him was gone. Evan hadn’t felt this relaxed in a while. The hunger he had felt because he had been too nervous to eat before the interview, faded into the background.

In those ten minutes, Evan did everything he could to ease Naomi’s concerns. The only thing he couldn’t do was telling her that she would surely get the job. He wanted that position as well, after all.

But Naomi didn’t mind. Instead, she grinned. “Yeah, no, I would have branded you as a slimeball if you had said that. Good to know that you aren’t.”

Evan laughed. “What an honor.” He held out his hand. “To a fair fight?”

Confidence glimmered in Naomi’s eyes when she shook it. “You bet.”

By the time Evan was called in, he was happy enough to see that the fog around her had dissipated lightly.

He didn’t know how long it would last, though, so after he was done, he waited for her. The surprise and the bright smile on her face as she stepped out of the building and saw him made his heart flutter once again.

It was such a foreign feeling that Evan ignored the hollow pain he felt in his chest when they decided to go get lunch together on the spot.

It felt so right to be with Naomi. Evan had never felt this strong before until he was by her side. With her, he thought he might be even able to help more people against the Lonely.

Chapter Text

Martin was thrown off by the news when he called his cousin after the job interview to ask how it went.

“... Girlfriend?! Evan, what the—?”

“Look, I don’t know. It just happened, okay?”

“You went to have a job interview! Not for ... I don’t know?! Were you even at the job interview then?”

Evan’s huff on the other end of the line was indignant. “Of course, I was! I’ll tell you about it later, okay? Naomi is waiting.”

“... Naomi.”

“Talk to you later, Marto!”

It was a few weeks after that that Martin got to meet the mysterious woman who had turned his cousin’s head. They both quickly found out that they were not the talkative type but they enjoyed spending time together over a cup of tea. Even when Evan stepped out of the room for a phone call or something else, it didn’t feel awkward.

They were both comfortable with each other’s silence, and Martin just enjoyed having Naomi around as she obviously made Evan so much happier. She had also never mentioned it even once when Martin just stopped replying and almost disappeared. She would always be nervous about that, thinking that she had done something wrong, but never scared.

Martin appreciated that and thought Naomi to be a perfect match to Evan.

Soon, they would have family outings, just the three of them, and Martin had already accepted her as part of the family even before the two of them were engaged.

The news to that came on his graduation day.

Martin never knew what he wanted to do once he finished his studies. Some part of him expected to just return to Moorland House and continue to learn under Nathaniel until he one day would take over all of his uncle’s work. Some other part of him hoped he would be able to persuade his dad to let him finally work and sail with the Tundra.

No matter what it would be, the day of his graduation was one where he felt like being back to his halcyon childhood days the most.

It was also the day Martin’s fellow student truly recognized him as a Lukas. He was pretty sure he heard a whisper here or there about the regrets of not having gotten to know him better or not having invited him to more outings.

Good. It meant that Martin’s strategy of being unnoticed for his whole degree had worked out. Now he didn’t need to care anymore. He had never wanted to forge any bonds here and he didn’t in the end. He had his family for that.

Peter had made sure to be on land on that day.

Evan had been hyping up the day for weeks and also brought Naomi with him.

Annabelle had chosen to just text and call Martin instead, as she didn’t want for his dad and uncle to go off the deep end about her presence.

Even Nathaniel had come all the way to London to be there.

The air between him and Evan was icy and their greetings passive aggressive. While Peter and Martin were used to it and hence could tune it out, Naomi was visibly uncomfortable. She kept on tugging her boyfriend’s sleeve to soothe him.

But despite everything that had happened between them, Nathaniel and his son got along well for the circumstances.

Surprisingly, Peter also didn’t seem to get along very well with Evan. Back in the days, the captain encouraged the boys to play together but now he seemed to be avoiding his nephew. Martin didn’t have the time to ask about it.

“And since I have my closest family members all together today,” Evan began his news with flourish later on when they were in a restaurant. He winked at Martin before he deliberately stared at his father with a smug grin. “I am happy to announce that Naomi has proposed to me and, of course, I said yes! We are going to marry soon!”

With a delighted smile Evan turned to his fiancée and pressed a kiss on her knuckles. Naomi just smiled at him, bashfully. Following his lead, she had learned to ignore Nathaniel for most of the meal.

Since Martin noticed how both his dad and his uncle had frozen at the announcement, he didn’t want the couple’s moment to be ruined and quickly said: “That’s amazing news! This is the best graduation gift you could have possibly given me!”

“Yes, it sounds very lovely,” Peter chimed in. Martin noticed how his dad sounded a bit too cheery; the way he always did when he had to force himself. “I assume your cousin will be your best man?”

“Is that even a question?” Evan immediately confirmed with laughter. Then he abruptly stopped and looked at his kid cousin with worry. “I mean, if you want to, as well.”

“Evan, of course! And Naomi,” Martin turned to smile at the young woman, “I will be very happy to welcome you to the family.”

After he said that, he pointedly looked at Nathaniel, who had only scowled but didn’t say anything. At least the family head wasn’t being condescending.

“Thank you,” Naomi replied in a whisper and kept her gaze steadily on Martin. Her smile became more relaxed at the friendly face.

They had also become good friends by now. Martin didn’t want her to feel not welcomed. He was also always ready to help his cousin. Even if he had to protect Evan’s future wife from the colder side of the family. Thus, today, he was the one who kept the conversation going for the rest of their meal.

After the family meal, Peter left very quickly.

Martin was taken aback and slightly hurt by his dad’s behaviour. According to the schedule, the Tundra would still be around for three days before she set sail again. There was no reason for the captain to leave in a hurry like that.

Instead, Nathaniel stayed. “Martin. I have to talk to you about your future.”

Something about those words made the young man brace for what was to come. Reflexively, he looked at Evan for help who was already by the hall-stand. Just like when they were younger.

His cousin was just helping his fiancée into her coat when he noticed his kid cousin’s pleading look. He gently leaned to Naomi and whispered something to her before he returned to the table. His relaxed walk made Martin take a breath in relief.

Martin saw Nathaniel’s eye twitch, but his uncle kept his gaze on him as he insisted forcefully: “Alone.”

“My dearest father,” Evan immediately crooned with a smile, “you ignore me anyway and act as if I’m invisible. So, you’re alone with Martin right now.”

Knowing his uncle well enough by now, Martin could see how he was suppressing an eye roll. At least he was not making the fur fly and kept his attention on his nephew instead. “Very well.” He leaned back in his chair. “Now that you have your degree, there is a place that I want you to work at.”

A slight frown showed on Martin’s face. “Do you? You know I want to follow my dad on the Tundra.”

“Yes. But it is something you can do later on. For now, I want you to work at the Magnus Institute.”

“Where?!”

Before Martin had fully processed the words, Evan was already shouting.

“The Magnus Institute,” Nathaniel repeated impassively. “We’ve been sponsoring the Institute for a long time, and I do intend to continue doing so, if they pass the audit, of course. But instead of doing one punctually, I want someone to be on the inside, working there for a while and see how the Institute is doing.”

“How long is ‘a while’?” Martin asked, suspicion clear in his voice. He put a hand on his cousin’s arm as Evan was clearly about to continue shouting.

Nathaniel wasn’t looking at him anymore. Instead, the family head concentrated on a napkin in front of him that he was straightening. “A few years. Five to ten? Just to make sure that Bouchard isn’t hiding anything from us, and that the money goes to where he says it is going. It is good for you, too, Martin, as you will get to know one of the places better that we’re investing in. The Magnus Institute does also help the One Alone.”

Staring at his uncle, Martin pursed his lips. He knew that tone. It was one that allowed no argument or talking back. Next to him, Evan had obviously noticed, too, because his cousin was bristling with anger. But he kept quiet as long as Martin kept his hand on his arm.

“Five to ten years are a long time, especially if you have no actual end in mind. It also seems to be a very long time for an audit,” Martin stated, keeping his voice calm. “What does my dad say about this?”

Nathaniel’s hands stopped. “He agrees.”

There was the sound of Naomi shuffling uneasily by the door. She was still waiting for Evan but didn’t dare to interrupt them. Martin wondered how much she understood from the conversation. How much had his cousin told her?

It didn’t seem to matter because in that moment, Evan pushed Martin’s hand away and got into his father’s face. “You are not going to send Martin to the Magnus Institute! I thought we all agree on that Archivist being dangerous. You’re sending your heir into the lion’s den!”

“If she was really that dangerous, Bouchard would be the first one gone,” Nathaniel replied, still without any emotion.

Martin pulled his cousin back once again before Evan could say more. He glared at his uncle. Without a word, he kept the stare as long as it took for Nathaniel to finally return the gaze. Only when they were looking eye to eye, he asked, deliberately slow: “What was the bet?”

It wasn’t even a hunch. He just knew.

Nathaniel’s eyes flickered to his son for a moment. It wasn’t a smug look. It was more of a sigh, when he replied: “We were betting whether you would seek out Evan again the moment you leave Moorland House.”

“Oh, for the love of ...” Evan pushed his glasses up as he pinched his nose to alleviate his headache. The very same Martin felt coming.

“Great. Good to know. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Curtly, Martin rose and left the table.

Immediately, his cousin ran after him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Marto, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Evan. I’m going to have a word with my dad now.” Even if he was able to keep his voice calm, Martin was screaming inside. No wonder Peter left so quickly. He knew his son would be angry. He knew and yet he ...

Naomi backed away from him when he approached the door.

Martin stopped and blinked. Then he realized how his face must look like right now. “Oh. Sorry. I’m not mad Evan. Or you.”

“Yeah, it’s my father. I’ve warned you,” Evan muttered and pressed a quick kiss on his fiancée’s head before he turned to his kid cousin once more.

“Marto. If you’re going to do it, please be careful. Stay away from Gertrude Robinson.”

Martin sighed. “I’ve heard that name so often now, so, yes, I will do my best to avoid her if I work there.”

“Really, promise me! I have not met that Archivist yet, but she seems like a proper old hag! Like Laura!”

Those words brought a little smile to Martin’s face. He threw a side glance at his cousin. “It’s not helping your case if you compare her to Laura, you know?”

Evan groaned and hid his face in his hands. “Marto, you’re awful.”

With a grin, Martin only made a non-committal sound. Then, he looked at Naomi again. “I’m sorry. I fear this is what you’ll have to live with if you marry into this family.”

“I ... don’t think it’s too bad?” Naomi tried carefully. She looked at Nathaniel shortly, who was still sitting at the table. There was a little helpless shrug from her. “But are you alright, Martin?”

“Oh, we’ll see about that,” Martin said grimly. He felt the anger rising again by just thinking about his dad. “Once more, congrats on the engagement! I’ll be seeing you.”

The harbour was bustling with activity as usual on an afternoon. But as Martin walked across the dock towards where his beloved ship was anchored, he felt the place clearing. He didn’t care. He just kept his eyes on the Tundra.

As always, ever diligent Tadeas was there, despite most of the crew being on shore leave.

From afar, Martin already raised his voice: “Tadeas, have you seen The Captain?”

The first mate turned and stared at him. Martin had spent so much time with him by now, that he practically heard the unspoken question, which “captain” he was referring to.

Before Tadeas could answer, Martin already noticed the movement in the corner of his eye. His dad was skulking along the Tundra’s railings. There was hesitation in his voice when he made himself known. “Martin.”

Martin didn’t turn to look. He kept his attention on the first mate and repeated his question with vigour: “Have you seen The Captain?”

“Ah, yes,” Tadeas replied, straightening himself in front of his mini captain. “Last time I saw The Captain, he was by the container on the far end, chasing something.”

“Great, thanks. Be seeing you.” Martin smiled at the mate. It wasn’t reaching his eyes, as he knew Then, he turned around to board the Tundra without as much as giving Peter a look. He heard his dad following.

“Martin ... please?”

Ignoring him, the young man didn’t stop. Instead, he walked into the direction Tadeas had pointed him.

Nowadays, he rarely had to look for the cat anymore. It seemed to enjoy his presence. Whenever it noticed that Martin was around, it would come, purring and ready for pets and cuddles.

This time, it was no different. At the first hiding spot Martin crouched down to see whether The Captain was there, the cat jumped at him.

“Hello there,” Martin muttered, snuggling up against the feline.

“Martin, are you really not going to talk to me?” Peter was standing behind him, keeping a fair distance.

The young man kept his attention on The Captain. But he finally answered: “No. Why should I?”

“I’m ... sorry?”

“If you were really sorry, you wouldn’t have agreed to that bet to begin with! You knew how close Evan and I were!”

“But you never read his letters ...”

“Still!” Martin snarled. “I’m your son! Not something you can bet on!”

He was only stopped by an indignant meow from The Captain. “Sorry,” he muttered to the cat, lowering his voice.

As the cat climbed over his shoulder to drape itself on him, he raised a hand to scratch it behind its ears. With that little pause, he turned to glare at his dad. “Furthermore, it means you’ve already known for years that I would be working at the Magnus Institute. And you never told me a single thing!”

There was so much he wanted to say. There was so much he was angry about. In the end, he only lowered his voice even further and whispered: “You know that I want to be with you on the Tundra!”

“Yes, I know ...” Peter sighed. He took a step towards his son tentatively.

When Martin just sulked but didn’t back away, Peter came to crouched down next to him. “I’m sorry,” he repeated quietly. “But can you do it for me for a few years? You can come to the Tundra after that.”

“You promise you won’t push me away again then?”

The captain looked straight into his son’s eyes. One of the rare instances of him doing so. Hence, when he promised “I won’t.”, Martin believed him.

As his son nodded, Peter added in a more cheerful tone: “Also, Elias isn’t too bad once you get to know him!”

Martin rolled his eyes. “You know I already hate him.” He took The Captain off his shoulders and held it near to his chest to be able to lean against his dad. “And I’m still mad at you.”

“I know.”

Peter’s voice was almost just a low rumble. He put his cold arm around his son and pulled him even closer.

It was an awkward position with both of them being in the middle of the containers, both crouching, and having a playful cat between them. But they enjoyed the moment of silence and being with each other.

Peter somewhat wished he had told Martin earlier. He just never found the way to do so. Naturally, he had known how much his son loved the Tundra despite only having sailed with her once. It was just that that one instance of Martin almost coming to harm that had scared the captain so much. His little son was safer at Moorland House.

Later, when Martin was older, he became so busy with his studies and filling Evan’s spot. Nathaniel had convinced Peter that Martin was getting the better education if he stayed at the estate. The captain hadn’t been able to deny that. Albeit he missed his son a lot, he wanted Martin to grow up properly. No matter how beautiful the Tundra was, she just couldn’t give a young man what he needed to brave everything in the world instead of just the sea.

Then that damned bet came. Peter should have known. He should have known because he had encouraged the boys to spend time with each other. Even though he hadn’t been around a lot in the estate, he had heard Nathaniel complaining. He had read Laura’s reports. Yet, a bet had been too tempting. His cousin rarely got into bets, after all, as the boring man that he was. But this time ... this time it just had seemed perfect.

The captain would be lying that it hadn’t felt good in some way to lose that bet. The feeling of losing Martin to a temple of the Eye had been ... exhilarating. Seeing his son growing up and starting to become independent – it was something Peter had never expected to feel so lonely.

Knowing how it was to lose family in contrast to never having any at all was just different.

Later, he made peace with the outcome of the bet by telling himself that Martin would be where Elias was. So, when he visited, he could see both at once. That wasn’t too bad, either. He was also sure that the Head of the Institute wouldn’t actively do the captain’s son harm.

Thus, he was fine with lying to Martin for a few years. Peter had never actually been lying, too. He just avoided the topic whenever his son brought up the ship. Lying by omission. It wasn’t the nicest thing to do, but it had saved him the pain of explaining.

(The fear of abandonment that would always linger on Martin at those times was good, too. The captain would never admit that in front of his son, though.)

Peter had been all too happy to leave breaking the news to Martin to Nathaniel. He understood how it would strain his already distanced relationship to his beloved son. It was still better than having to explain.

Yet, he still felt guilty about the whole thing.

So, when Martin refused to leave the Tundra on that day, Peter indulged him.

“Yeah, it’s a short trip anyway and you don’t have your studies anymore. I’ll tell Nathaniel to make an appointment with Elias in two weeks, okay?”

Martin nodded, looking relieved of not being forced to leave.

Peter kind of missed how his son would have started beaming with excitement if he had still been younger.

Martin really had grown up.

The captain also noticed that when they shared the bed again that night. It hadn’t been too bad when Martin was still ten years old. Now, he was a grown, broad man. The bed in Peter’s cabin really wasn’t made for two adults.

But Martin had insisted, and Peter gave in. Especially when he saw the tears in his son’s eyes when Martin was moved by the fact that his dad had still kept the spare cushion on his bed, even though it had been almost fifteen years since the mini captain was last staying on the Tundra.

Peter had never thought himself to be the sentimental type. Yet, that night, he couldn’t fall asleep. Despite all the years of him instantly dozing away once laid down, this night he was watching Martin sleep.

Sparse moonlight fell through the little window of his cabin.

The captain gently caressed his son’s soft hair as he slept. At least some things would never change. Martin’s softness would stay the same, no matter how much Forsaken claimed the young man. There was just that something about the boy that couldn’t be taken from him. Maybe that was what had made Peter smitten about Martin in the first place.

He didn’t know and he didn’t want to know.

He just knew he loved his son.

When Martin left the Tundra again after those two weeks to go to the Magnus Institute, Peter could only let him go with a heavy heart.

His beloved son truly was growing up.

Chapter Text

When Evan finally left his department for the day and looked at the clock on his phone, he cursed quietly. He hadn’t meant to be working for this long. Naomi would be worried.

Ever since he told her about the Fears, about what was lurking, she had been more attentive to her surroundings, but also much more fearful for him. Every once in a while, she would doubt their engagement, asking whether it was really fine for him, considering who his family served.

Every time, Evan assured her that this was exactly what he wanted. He even had to call Martin once for his kid cousin to calm down his fiancée.

Making his way through the streets to the next subway station as quick as possible, Evan even forgot his usual cigarette. He was thinking about calling Naomi on his way home for her to know that he was just running late and that he was safe.

Just when his finger hovered over the call button, something else drew his attention. He felt something crawling up his neck.

With a frown, he turned around. The street was empty. No one was around this part of the city at this hour. There were only companies around here and by now most were already home.

But something was coming.

Evan left the main street to walk into a darker alley. He put his phone away and stepped towards the shadows.

There was something unnatural about the emptiness. Supernatural. It wasn’t his family’s patron. Evan would have noticed that much sooner. But normal humans just had the subconscious instinct to avoid places that were about to get spooky.

Evan was barely tucked away for half a minute, when a man barreled along the main street. A book was tightly clutched in his arms. Long black hair fluttered behind him. He only turned his head once to look behind him. Then, he ducked away into the alleyway where Evan was also hiding.

In the heat of the moment, he didn’t notice Evan. Instead, he just walked deeper into the impasse and steadied his breath to be quiet.

A moment later, his pursuers came to sight. A pair of ragged looking people, definitely less out of breath than the young man had been.

Shit.

Evan made a face.

Hunters.

The most relentless ones out of the Fears. He could feel it on them and he hated it. He didn’t want to get caught up in whatever this was.

But when one of the two raised his head to sniff the air, he knew he had no other choice. If they found him, he would be on their target list as well. Even if they’d had no reason. He would have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Evan took a deep breath. He had to calm himself first. No fear. As long as he could manage that, he wouldn’t catch the Hunters’ attention so easily. It was difficult, though, because the thought about what he was about to do made him more than just nervous.

Never before had he called onto his family’s patron. The experiences he had with it were not pleasant to ever try it. Hence, Evan shouldn’t be expecting to be able to control it. But just a little bit would be enough. Just enough to throw off his and the stranger’s scent. Just a little bit of disorientation to the Hunters that they left. Only that little bit would be enough.

Evan saw fog creeping over the ground and swallowed. This was not the time to be afraid. He had called the Lonely, it was his. It was not his father’s. Ignoring the pain in his chest, he concentrated on more. It only had to be light, but it needed to be more.

Because he kept an eye on the pair during the whole process, he saw one of them shudder even before the mist fully reached them. As it was empty and quiet here, their whispers carried over to him: “Are we in someone’s territory?”

“Dunno. But it reminds me of that time we were following that damned spider.”

“Ugh. Didn’t think the Lonely would be keen on forging alliances.”

“We don’t know if that’s what it is. But let’s move on.”

With those words, they got under way again, continuing their pursue along the main street.

Evan let out a sigh in relief. He didn’t think that it would work but somehow it did. Even if he didn’t quite understand what made them leave so easily. Now he just had to let go of the Lonely again.

It danced at his heels, clinging to him, trying to climb its way up. The hollow pain in his chest was like a magnet, a beacon of fear now that other potential victims were gone.

Evan froze. His breathing began to quicken, no matter how much he tried to stay calm.

He couldn’t get lost now. He had to go home to Naomi. She was worried about him. She just didn’t call because she was afraid of bothering him at work. She wouldn’t forget about him.

Evan was still panicking.

He knew how easy it was for others to forget him. His father had showed him again and again. That was why he was so social now. So loud. It was why he made so many friends. Even if his estranged family forgot him, the others wouldn’t. Naomi wouldn’t. And if something really bad happened, he could also count on his kid cousin. He only had to calm himself, and the Lonely would have nothing on him.

“A Lukas?” An unfamiliar voice snapped Evan out of it.

He turned his head and saw the young ... goth come out of his hiding. Still clutching the book tightly, Evan noticed the eye tattoos on the knuckles and joints.

Great. From Hunt to Eye.

He shoved his hands into his pockets to hide his trembling and schooled his expression to a smile. He let the air of haughtiness wrap around him – one that his father always had – as he stepped out of the shadows.

“Those are quite some admirers that you have there,” he commented easily, hoping his voice would come out steady enough. It was passable.

The other man stared at him with suspicion. He would almost be hostile if he wasn’t hunching so protectively over his book. Reluctantly, he then said: “Thanks.”

It was immediately followed by: “Don’t think that I owe you something for it, though.”

That was far from what Evan had been expecting, anyway. He might have had helped the stranger on the side, yes, but mostly he hadn’t wanted to have some Hunters breathing down his neck. So, he was quite ready to put the stranger off when something in those words caught his attention.

Owing someone. Those words were scratching something in the back of his mind. There had been something else worrying Evan lately and he had been searching for answers.

Favors. It had been a while.

It was the solution he was looking for.

“Huh.”

The goth stared at him in confusion. “What?

Evan blinked and quickly muttered: “Nothing.”

“Okay ...?” The man slowly moved to leave the alleyway. Just as he passed Evan, he stopped again and turned around. “Well. Hm. You still helped me. Do you ... maybe want to grab a drink? After I burn this book?”

Evan stared at the man.

Obviously, the other was nervous about the suggestion, quite probably mentally kicking himself for saying it out loud. But he was standing there, waiting for an answer.

The idea of not being immediately alone again – of having company for a bit longer was positively thrilling. Evan shrugged, his smile more genuine and softer. “Just let me call my fiancée really quick.”

Stepping into the Institute, Martin could feel how all eyes turned to him. Not those of the employees nor the front desk. Those barely noticed him and his dad. But he felt the attention of an Eye avatar on him.

Normally, it would make Martin wanting to vanish. But as this was Elias Bouchard, he just squared his shoulders and calmly walked next to Peter.

The office was decorated lavishly, worse than Nathaniel’s. Martin would never get the appeal of some things these rich old men seemed to be into. The smile on Bouchard’s face was also too slimy. It was their first time meeting and Martin immediately preferred his uncle’s emotionless stone-face.

“So, this is the famed new Lukas heir. You sure you want your son to work for me, Peter?”

“Yes, he needs the work experience, you know?” the captain replied in his cheery tone, sticking to the reason his cousin had given him.

Martin didn’t know why they even bothered. It wasn’t like Bouchard couldn’t look through this lie. Martin knew how to prevent it for a bit, how to obscure things from the Eye, but that would be a hassle and exhausting to keep up for a long time.

Judging from the Institute Head’s smile, the man knew as well. Yet, he didn’t comment on it and turned to the young man: “Martin was your name, correct? Is this truly what you want to do? Or are you just heeding your family’s wishes? Someone with your degree surely doesn’t have any interest in this old and dusty Institute.”

Martin scowled at him. It was clear that Bouchard didn’t want to have him here. He didn’t want to be here himself. But he had promised his dad to do it for him and also promised his uncle. Hence, he just replied coolly: “I am in fact very interested what our family’s money is used for. We all know why I’m here, so let’s not make it harder than it has to be. Because if you do, I will assume that the Magnus Institute has something to hide. And I do hope that it is not embezzlement.”

The smile on Bouchard’s face got thinner.

Martin saw how his demeanor had become even more polite, just like whenever Peter would get too cheery when he was stressed.

“Very well. I have nothing to hide as you will see,” the Head of the Institute yielded. “But what about you? Do you want your future colleagues to know that you are a Lukas?”

Martin paused. It would be the same situation as when he was studying, where he would want to avoid that. He didn’t want any attention at all. He also wanted to avoid that anyone would call him out on nepotism if he ever got any closer to any of his colleagues. Martin couldn’t say that it would sit with him well.

Bouchard continued as if he had heard the whole internal debate of the young man: “Yes, I thought so. We should think of another name for you to use then. If my information is correct, you once went by ‘Martin Blackwood’, didn’t you?”

The name made Martin’s blood freeze. He hadn’t heard it in so long. It reminded him of small cupboards, of permanent arguments, of burning cheeks and scars everywhere. He had almost forgotten about it.

The old dread must have been obvious because Bouchard was smirking, and his dad was putting a hand on his shoulder.

Peter even spoke up: “Hm, I don’t know about that. What about—?”

“It’s fine,” Martin quickly cut him off. He kept his gaze at the Institute Head, glaring at the obvious provocation. “Martin Blackwood it is.”

“Wonderful. It’s nice to be able to welcome Peter’s son to the Institute. Please call me Elias while you work here.” Elias’ voice was so slippery that Martin became very sure that his uncle hated dealing with this man. If it wasn’t for what the Magnus Institute was and how close his dad was with this man, Martin would have considered just stop funding the place. He wouldn’t be surprised if Nathaniel was in the same position.

“Ah, but before I forget,” Elias added, smoothly ignoring all the hostility radiating from Martin, “we currently have no position in Finances open. Nor in any other managing position, sadly ... but I can offer you a place as a researcher?”

“What?!” Martin stared at Elias indignantly. Why did that man had to wait until the last second like that? This was no way to treat a Lukas.

A smug grin was on Elias’ face. “It is nothing like what you have studied. But you seem like a curious young man, Martin. It does look like you are interested.”

He was right. Martin did want to know how things worked around here and how one researched the paranormal. Shit. Martin hated it even more. Knowing that his thoughts alone were already betraying him enough, he wasn’t keen on answering. So, he just shrugged, trying to be aloof. He just wanted to be fine with any position as long as he got into the Institute like Nathaniel wanted.

“Are you sure?” Peter asked from the side.

When Martin turned his head to look at his dad, he saw worry in it. For a moment, he contemplated shrugging again, as it was very much the captain’s fault that he was here now. But as Peter’s hovering from his childhood was still present in his mind, he tried it with a smile and nodded.

That seemed to be enough for his dad. There was a wave of relief washing over the captain.

It made Martin a bit softer as he could see the guilt still lingering on his dad. If it wasn’t for Elias’ piercing stare, he might have forgiven Peter right there.

Instead, he just turned back to his new boss and asked: “When do I start?”

Working in Research at the Magnus Institute was both easier and worse than Martin had anticipated. The work itself wasn’t hard. It was only hard to explain it in normal terms, to keep as much of the Entities still unknown as possible. He didn’t want to spill all the secrets, after all.

But being in charge of keeping an eye on a scented candle that was reported to go up in flames without any fire near it? (Which it regularly did without warning, having Martin throw it into the Lonely out of shock for a few times.) Easy, that was the Desolation.

The Spiral had a hand in driving a couple nearly insane with a mirror in their house that would always just change their appearance ever so slightly to throw them off. (When the people from Artefact Storage came to take the mirror with them, Martin just helped out slightly by fogging the mirror up until it was at the Institute.)

Setting out to confirm or deny things that were reported to the Institute was not difficult for someone who knew where to look and what they had to look for.

The worse part for Martin was that his colleagues were so very sociable. It was their way to let off steam. The work surely was stressful for those who didn’t know what they were getting into, after all.

Martin only wished that they wouldn’t be dragging him to various outings at least once a week. Sometimes it was even two or three evenings. If it wasn’t drinks, then they would be going out to eat together. Or go play bowling.

Martin had tried to vanish before but, in those moments, when someone would come up to him to invite him, it never seemed to exactly work. Sometimes, he suspected that Elias had a hand in that to get on his nerves.

Throughout all this, Martin barely had an evening for himself.

If his colleagues – whose name he still hadn’t remembered yet after a month – didn’t take him somewhere, he would be talking to Evan, Annabelle, Peter, or Nathaniel on the phone.

Each of them wanted to know how he was doing. While his uncle wanted reports from the Institute, Evan and his dad were more worried about him and wanted to make sure that he was alright. Annabelle, however, was just a nuisance as always. It almost surprised Martin that she hadn’t asked for a favor in a while but then again, he hadn’t, either. They actually were talking more for the sake of conversation, lately, than because of business reasons.

“Hey, Blackwood, can you take over this case?”

Martin looked up from his report, squinting at his team leader coming towards him with a case file in the hand.

But as he remembered something, before he took the file, Martin had already decided and nodded. “Sure, I can start looking into it immediately. But depending on where it is, I might not be able to come to drinking night today.”

His team leader stopped, staring at him in an accusing way.

Martin couldn’t suppress his smile. They both knew where this was going as they had already done this dance many times. His boss never took it amiss, and Martin would try his luck every time.

In the end, the other man just rolled his eyes and held the file out to him. “You and your excuses, Blackwood. I really don’t know what you have against our get togethers. They’re fun! But sure, this time I’ll let it slide if you can take this over for me. I’m still stuck with that case about the rotary phone ...”

“Good luck,” Martin cooed and watched his team leader flipping him off while laughing.

His colleagues were all just very draining on what little social battery Martin had, but they were all good people. If they were able to leave him alone for a bit more, he would actually enjoy being with them. At least Martin had already proven himself to be capable enough that he didn’t need a supervisor to accompany him to fieldwork anymore, which gave him his needed time off during work.

When he was all by himself again and looked at the file, though, he grimaced.

This one read like a proper menace. Reports about an escape room that sometimes seemed to shrink and start trapping people in it. The owners swore that it was not part of the room’s design to have things like that happen. There were even one or two people already missing, although their friends were not quite sure whether they had been seen after the escape room or not.

It definitely had properties of Too Close I Cannot Breathe. Literally. Martin dreaded being assigned cases about the Dark and the Buried. They just brought bad memories. But he had already accepted and if he wanted to use it as an excuse to be able to spend a quiet evening at home tonight, he had to get to it now.

It shouldn’t be too bad, though. If he did the room maybe three times and nothing happened, he could chalk it up to a false report and leave again. The probability that this was a false report was very low, but Martin was still hoping. So, he just packed his things and got to it.

For some reason Martin had expected it to be the fault of some rogue artefact. He had even thought of a Leitner. With all the knowledge that he had, for some reason, Martin did not think to actually meet an avatar. One, who was not happy about him being present. Even less as he had a polaroid camera on him and a notepad with the Institute’s logo.

“Um, wait, I can explain?” With careful steps, Martin back away, his hands in the air as a soothing gesture.

He had the wall in his back far too soon considering how long the hallway had been. The door to his right, which he was sure he had still seen a moment ago, had also disappeared.

He should have left immediately. Either physically by just running towards the man who was scrawny enough to be pushed aside if Martin really wanted or he could also have used the One Alone to leave. He should have. Just fading away and becoming invisible would also have been an option.

He would have had so many different ways. Each of them would have been better than trying to explain. Especially if the person was already showing open hostility.

But all of those thoughts came to Martin a second too late.

Chapter Text

Peter rarely took any calls unless it was from Martin or Tadeas. He doubted more people than those two knew his number anyway. Maybe Elias also knew but that was cheating if you considered what the Head of the Institute was capable of. Peter also never felt the urge to answer any unknown call as they were neither family nor important work.

So, when his phone rang on that day, he stared at it darkly before he proceeded to ignore it. A glance at the display told him that he hadn’t saved the number. Hence, unimportant.

He didn’t bother to turn his phone on silent as he was sure that whoever was calling would get it soon enough.

The phone kept on ringing.

It stopped – then it started all over.

For a moment, the captain considered whether he should throw his phone to the One Alone or not. But if he did, he would later get an earful, both by his son and his first mate. The Fears and electronics didn’t work together well, after all, and if they couldn’t reach him when needed, it was going to be a problem.

After a few moments of consideration, Peter took the call.

He didn’t actually answer it. He just pressed the button to connect and then stayed silent. If he was on the line, it couldn’t ring anymore. Simple as that.

Contended, Peter sighed. He reveled in the silence. That was, until Evan’s voice came through the crackling line. “Uncle Peter? Is Martin with you? I have been trying to call him since yesterday, I can’t reach him.”

The words made the captain go cold. A cold he had never felt before. He immediately grabbed his phone. “What do you mean, you haven’t been able to reach him since yesterday? Where is Martin?” His eyes darted to the clock. It was already past ten in the morning.

Peter gripped his phone tightly. He would feel it almost yielding under his grip if he wasn’t too preoccupied by waiting for Evan to answer.

“That’s what I want to know from you!” his nephew shouted over the line. “His department told me he’s out for some research and that’s all I know. I haven’t been able to reach Martin ever since! You better ask that damned Bouchard where your son is!”

... right. Right. If anyone knew where Martin was, it was Elias. If anything happened to his son, Peter would walk over their friendship to make the Head of the Institute accountable.

Evan’s ramblings over the phone faded into the background as the captain stepped towards the cold fog’s embrace. The next time he was aware of his surroundings, he was standing in Elias’ office, glowering at the man.

“Where is Martin?”

The Head of the Institute looked up. His mouth formed a thin line. An irritated scowl was on his face. “Peter,” he greeted curtly.

Elias’ assistant Rosie was sitting on the other side of her desk, a clipping board and a pen in her hand. She spun in her chair and almost jumped to her feet in shock. “Mr Lukas! I wasn’t aware that you had an appoi—” her words cut off as she stared at the man.

The sharp breath she drew filled Peter’s lung with fresh air. The quivering of her lips brought a smile to his face – not his usual cheerful smile but something darker. The shivering she tried to suppress sent a pleasant feeling down his spine.

“Peter.”

The captain barely heard Elias’ voice as he exhaled and reveled in Rosie’s fear. This was good. It had been a while since he felt this powerful. Coupled with his adrenaline, he was sure that wherever his son was, he could save Martin.

“Peter.” The second time the Head of the Institute called out to the man, it had a threatening undertone.

Peter felt a shift. A piercing power focused on him, solidifying his body in the present.

The captain lifted his gaze to meet Elias’ eyes.

The tension in the room lifted slightly, giving Elias time to turn to his assistant with a smile. “Thank you, Rosie, would you please leave us?”

Within the blink of an eye, a professional smile slipped back on the woman’s lips, and she nodded. “Of course.”

As she left, Elias leaned back in his chair. The way his eyes were fixed on her, contended, made it clear that he was also enjoying her fear. But when he turned back to Peter, the irritated crease between his brows returned. “What is it that makes you come barging in like this?”

The captain took a breath, trying to control his emotions. Everything inside him was still a mess. Only his body was truly here after Elias’ gaze had grounded him. The crack in his voice when he repeated his question was barely an indication for how churned he truly was. “Where is Martin?”

Elias frowned. He muttered, slightly annoyed, while already letting his eyes go unfocused: “In Research. I know you’re rarely here, but you do know where the departments are in this build— huh.”

The surprise in Elias’s voice made Peter even more frantic. He didn’t know whether he wanted to be more lenient with Elias for actually being surprised and thus not having a hand in whatever happened to Martin – or whether he should outright strangle Elias for slipping up like this.

It was the first time the silence was uncomfortable. While Peter was waiting for the Head of the Institute to find the captain’s son, he shifted from one foot to another. Without knowing where Martin was, he couldn’t rush anywhere.

It seemed to take forever until Elias finally said: “He’s fine.”

Peter pressed his lips onto each other to not snarl at his old friend. That couldn’t be all the man had to say. So, he kept on staring at the Head of the Institute.

Elias rolled his eyes but then finally continued: “Martin is resting at a hospital. He has a wound on his head but nothing serious. A slight concussion at most. Looks like he had a run-in with the Buried.”

Processing those words, Peter opened and closed his mouth a few times.

His son in a hospital? Which one? He needed to go there immediately! He also had to find out whether it was a Buried avatar or artefact involved. If it was a person, they were going to feel his wrath. Also, did Elias just say that it was nothing serious? A concussion and he called it nothing serious?!

When Peter’s thoughts finally slowed down for a bit, he croaked: “I want Martin out of Research.”

“You and Nathaniel were keen on getting him into the Magnus Institute, remember?”

“Yes. But put him in another department.”

Actually, Peter hadn’t been keen on this whole thing at all. But he had lost that wager and had to let his son be here. If he didn’t have to keep his word, he would have made Martin resign long ago. But for now, he could only let his son be transferred.

Elias looked at him for a long moment.

The captain did his best to withstand the stare. It made him uncomfortable, but he needed Elias to agree. If it meant for Martin’s employer to scheme something again, so be it.

In the end, the Head of the Institute just sighed. As he grabbed for a piece of paper and wrote on it in his flourished handwriting from his fountain pen, he merely said: “I’ll see what I can do. Here, I think you want to know which hospital Martin is in. Do try to not scare Rosie again on your way out.”

Peter blinked.

That had been ... surprisingly easy.

He wouldn’t make Elias think twice, so he carefully took the paper and mutely scrutinized the other man while doing so. But as it didn’t seem like the Head of the Institute was about to say anything else anymore, the captain just speedily turned around and made for his son.

Martin’s arms were itching. They felt heavy. They felt light. They seemed to do all sorts of things without him wanting to.

It felt like something was wrapped around his arms. It felt like it was tugged here and there. Something was scuttling along his bare skin.

Martin shot up with a gasp, trying to shake off whatever was on his arms.

“Hey there, easy!” a voice immediately soothed him from the side. Warm hands touched him, gently pushing him back into the pillows. “Steady there, Marto.”

Martin blinked. He turned his head to look at his cousin. “Evan?” It took a moment until he saw where he was: a private hospital room. “What happened?”

Evan looked at him, worry in his face. Instead of answering the question, he asked in return: “How are you? How are you feeling Are you all right?”

Martin stopped for a moment and checked himself. He looked down at his arms. Nothing was there. He patted over his body. Nothing hurt in particular. So, he slowly answered: “Yeah … I think I’m all right. Feeling a bit weird, but nothing too crazy.” The strange tingling on his arms was gone. His head was a bit hazy and if he looked around too fast, everything was slightly spinning. His fuzzy thoughts must have made him imagine whatever he had felt on his arms.

When he looked at Evan again, he noticed the other man’s gaze. He followed his cousin’s eyes and reached for his forehead. His hand touched a bandage. Oh, that was why everything was spinning. Even the light touch hurt slightly.

He must have made a face because Evan started grinning. “Be more careful, will you? But you do look alright except for that. Can’t answer your question, though. You have to tell me what happened. I just received a call to come here. The hospital just dialed your latest contact.”

With a long sigh, Martin sunk back into his pillows, nodding. He closed his eyes and tried to remember. It was hazy but he remembered the escape room. He remembered that other person. They had been very angry. Slowly, everything came back to him.

In the end, Martin sighed once again. “I walked into Buried territory,” he finally explained. “They were not happy about it.”

“Oh ... dear God, Marto, please be more careful.” Evan’s voice was tense, almost bordering anger. As he started ranting, he pulled out a thermos. Immediately, the scent of tea filled the room. “Really, working for the Magnus Institute is simply not up your alley. What did Uncle Peter think?!” He poured Martin a cup and put it next to the bed.

“Nothing, obviously,” Martin replied with a grim chuckle.

He was still huffy about the wager, even if he had gotten used to working in Research. It wasn’t too bad. But the circumstances that had led him here still made him angry. It was obviously the same for his cousin. But as he didn’t want to dwell on it, he took the cup Evan had poured for him and let the tea calm him.

Then, he asked: “How long have I been out for?”

At the same time, he grabbed his phone on the nightstand to check the time. Before his cousin could answer, he already blurted: “A day?!”

He stared at the display. It was around the same time he had left for the escape room, early afternoon but just a day later. Frantically, he scrolled through his messages and call logs. He wouldn’t want to know how Annabelle or his dad would react if they thought he ignored them. He also didn’t know which one would be worse.

Martin let out a sigh in relief when he saw that he didn’t miss anything.

“Everything alright?” Evan asked carefully, reaching out to put his warm hand on Martin’s arm.

“Oh! Oh yeah, I didn’t miss anything. Do you think the Institute already knows? It’s gonna be a hassle to explain everything and then fill out the proper paperwork ...” The young man rolled his eyes and checked his logs again to see whether his workplace was contacted.

His thumb froze mid-air. The last time he had a phone conversation with Evan was two weeks ago. His cousin had shifted their meeting because he went to the movies with Naomi. The two cousins rarely actually had a phone call because of their fixed meetings. And since their last call, Annabelle had already called Martin twice.

The young man looked up to his cousin. “Did you say—?”

“Martin!”

The door was slammed open, and Peter barged right in. With big steps, he strode towards his son and took Martin’s head into his hands. “Are you alright? What happened? What did the doctors say?”

After his initial surprise, Martin let the big hands caress and inspect him. Despite how calloused the captain’s palms and fingers were, they always treated him with great care and gentleness. In return, his voice was soft when he answered: “I’m fine, dad. It’s not too bad. But I haven’t talked to the doctors yet, I just woke up.”

Relief was written all over Peter’s face as he slowly nodded and let go of his son. Instead, he turned to Evan with confusion in his face. “You’re already here.” It was something between a question and a statement.

Martin also turned his head to his cousin. He saw Evan’s shrug and slight smile.

Evan’s smooth voice was a blaring indication to his kid cousin about how angry he still was at the captain for Martin’s employment: “Yes. The hospital chose to call me as Martin’s contact from his phone.”

Peter’s face went rigid. It was something no one outside of the Lukas family would easily notice. But as both the young men grew up at Moorland House, they saw.

Evan’s smile instantly became even more gleeful.

Martin quickly tried to come up with a way to deescalate the situation despite his headache.

Help came in shape of a nurse who cleared her throat by the door and looked at all of them with disapproval in her face. “Gentlemen, the patients need rest and silence, but I could hear you all the way down the hallway. I’m sure Mr Blackwood also needs his rest.”

At her words, Evan had at least the decency to look remorseful. The captain, on the other hand, ignored her and took Martin’s hand as a sign of protest.

That didn’t deter the woman from doing her job at all. Instead, she walked towards the bed and pointedly starred at Peter. “If you would please leave for the time being. I need to do my work here with the patient. If you insist, you can return in half an hour.”

When Peter still didn’t show any signs of being ready to move away, Martin shot the nurse a quick apologetic smile before he squeezed the captain’s hand. “Dad, I’m fine. We can talk later, okay? Please let the lady do her job. Else, I might even need to stay longer and then it will take longer for me to properly talk to you.”

That seemed to do the trick. With a heavy sigh, the captain nodded and rose to press a kiss on Martin’s hair. He carefully avoided the bandaged bit of his son’s head.

“Alright,” Peter finally said. “I need to talk to Tadeas anyway. Call me as soon as you know more.”

“I will.” Martin promised. He looked over to Evan who was already getting ready to leave. “Thank you, too.”

“No worries, Marto. If you need anything, give me a call at any time.” Evan reached out his arm, obviously in an attempt to ruffle Martin’s hair. But he stopped short before reaching his kid cousin’s head as his eyes fell on the bandages again. So instead, he went for the shoulder and gave it an encouraging squeeze.

Martin smiled and watched his closest family leave before he turned back to the nurse: “Sorry for them being so loud.”

“No worries.” The woman was now smiling at him warmly, her strict demeanor falling away. “I am used to overbearing family members. But you should still rest. Mr Martin Blackwood, yes?”

“Ah, Martin L—” the young man bit his tongue before he could correct the lady. “Martin Blackwood, yes.” He had almost forgotten that that was the name he was using for the Institute. His old name still left a bitter taste in his mouth. But since it was more or less a work accident, he would have to report it. It was better to stick to this name, then.

Come to think of it, how did he get such a fancy private room as a Blackwood?

He waited for the nurse to finish taking his blood pressure before he asked: “So, you contacted Evan Lukas for me?”

The woman looked up. She cocked her head in surprise. “Mr Lukas? No, he brought you here.”

“Did he now?” Martin muttered, absent-mindedly rubbing his arm after the nurse removed the device.

“You should rest for now, Mr Blackwood. The doctor will come during his afternoon rounds. But it looks like it’s not too bad, so you’ll be able to leave soon.”

Martin nodded and smiled at the nurse. As he fully looked at her, he noticed wafts of loneliness. Nothing too bad but since his dad was going to return later, he didn’t want any collateral damage. Not to someone who was helping him.

Thus, his eyes quickly slipped to her work ID before he smiled at her. “Would you like to have a cup of tea before you continue working, Ms Reid? Evan brought some in a thermos – please take it as an apology for my family?”

Startled, Natasha Reid looked at him. She quickly shook her head. “No, as I have said before, I’m used to that. I should be returning to my—”

“Please, I insist,” Martin urged, gently, yet firmly. “Come here and sit with me for a while, please. I would love to have some company for a moment.”

He didn’t really. He had a headache and after having dealt with his dad and his cousin, he’d prefer the quiet. But he knew his nurse would love to have a bit of company for a moment. With a smile, Martin softly tugged on her loneliness.

It was enough to make her yield. She still had a doubtful expression on her face, but she was turning a chair to Martin. “I guess I can finish a cuppa in five minutes.”

The young man nodded and poured a cup. “I can promise you that this is a very good tea.”

A job at the Magnus Institute hadn’t been Jon’s first choice. But he wasn’t going to complain now that he had gotten it. He had been interested in the supernatural anyway, so despite the reputation the Magnus Institute had amongst other institutes, it was perfect for him.

He had hoped that his work would involve more substantial things but the research he was doing was rather tame. He didn’t mind the paperwork. Reading up on various topics regarding the paranormal was right up his alley. But he couldn’t find proof of the supernatural actually existing in his current position.

Fieldwork was out of question. One had to have been working for at least a year here before they were assigned to any investigation outside of the building.

“But why?” Jon asked. “Everyone is sent out in pairs anyway, so I wouldn’t be on my own. I would learn much faster like that!”

He knew he had to be insistent. He was new here, fresh off of university. No one would take him seriously if he didn’t show what he was capable of. At least he had been told that his scowl was very effective, so, right now, he was staring at his supervisor.

The team leader sighed and rubbed his temples. “Can’t a day pass without you asking me this, Sims? It’s not like I want the regulations that much anyway. They’re fairly recent. But after the last incident, the Head of the Institute was quite harsh and wanted those in place. Some donors weren’t happy with how things were handled.”

“What happened?” The words left Jon’s mouth faster than he could think. He heard that his own voice was hard. Demanding. Authoritarian, despite his position. He shouldn’t make enemies. But now that he had said it, he couldn’t take them back anymore. So, he waited for an answer.

His supervisor looked at him, sighed again, and shrugged. “I don’t know about the details myself. But we had a newbie shortly before you. Blackwood was really good. Very competent. He seemed to know what he was doing despite his studies not having anything to do with our Institute at all. So, we also left a few investigations to him. Something happened, he ended up in the hospital. As it was a work accident, you can imagine how the Head of the Institute was not amused.” He grimaced.

Jon scowled even more.

He had heard that name before. A few colleagues had already mentioned Blackwood. Because that other man leaving the researcher post was the reason why Jon got this job, after all. By how the others were talking about Blackwood, he must have been very good at his job. Everyone seemed to be missing him.

But something had happened. Possibly something paranormal. Jon had to know. Thus, he continued his questions: “Where is that Blackwood now? Did he quit?”

The question made his supervisor look at him with a mix of disbelief and laughter. “Sims,” he started in a voice that should have been stern but couldn’t keep at it. “You have already talked to him several times. Blackwood is the librarian filling the front desk.”

“Oh.”

Jon blinked a few times.

That was Blackwood? That soft looking man who was always moving so gently between all the shelves and had an even gentler, yet polite smile?

Jon knew exactly who the team leader was talking about. He truly had already talked a few times to that librarian. Not as in an actual conversation. But he had let himself helped to a few books before. Something he only did if Blackwood was in. Yes, Jon absolutely knew who they were talking about now – he just had never paid attention to the name.

“Oh,” he just repeated and nodded. “Thank you.”

Blackwood.

Now Jon had a name to the big man who always made himself so small. Never intimidating. Always helpful, always gentle.

Jon could clearly picture the round face with the freckles. Good looking and competent – both when he had been a researcher and now as a librarian. Jon couldn’t complain in any way about Blackwood as a librarian. If he had also been that diligent as a researcher ... no wonder Research missed their former colleague.

Jon couldn’t get the man out of his head for the rest of the day.

When he went to the library that afternoon, he told himself that it was to find out why Blackwood was transferred. Before he had fully reached the front desk, the man was already looking up, his signature smile on his face.

“Oh, hello,” Blackwood greeted. It was barely a whisper – never disturbing the silence of the library – but clear to hear. “How can I help you today?”

“Oh, ehm,” Jon cleared his throat. He looked around. There weren’t too many people. There rarely were this late in the afternoon. “I don’t need books today.” He took in how Blackwood slightly tilted his head in surprise. “I ... I am a new researcher.”

Great. That definitely was not how he should breach the subject.

Blackwood raised an eyebrow. It only overshadowed his smile for a moment. “Yes, I am aware of that. Jonathan Sims, the newest addition to Research.”

“Ah, so ... so you know of me.” Jon cleared his throat again.

It was just a question; it wasn’t that hard. Yet, he couldn’t get his thought sorted. So, he took a deep breath.

When he tried again, the words all tumbled out at once: “I heard that you were in Research before, as well. Something had happened and you were even in the hospital, as I was told. What happened? Why did you choose to transfer after that? Was it something very bad? Should I know of it to be prepared as a new researcher?”

Jon bit his tongue the instant he stopped. That was too much. It didn’t help that Blackwood managed to look both taken aback and amused at the same time.

Jon saw that little quirk in the lip corners past the usual polite smile. There was that confused blink that the librarian always had whenever a book wasn’t where he expected it to be.

Just when the researcher thought that he wouldn’t get an answer anymore, Blackwood sighed. Jon interpreted it as an annoyed sigh.

“It ... actually wasn’t something that bad?” Blackwood started. His voice was surprisingly soft after that sigh. Was he not annoyed after all? His eyes did not meet Jon’s.

That was even better for Jon. He didn’t mind it. It made it easier for him to concentrate on what was being said.

“I didn’t initiate the transfer, nor did I know about it. When I came back, Elias had already arranged that. It seems like he was talked into doing so.” The librarian rolled his eyes, but they landed on a small ship in a bottle he had on his desk. His smile turned fond for a moment before he continued: “But as for what actually happened. Well, I ... made a house owner mad while I was doing my fieldwork. And they threw loose bricks at me. There’s still a little scar, I do hope it heals soon.”

To prove it, he pushed up his side bangs, revealing a little scar.

Jon stared at the curls fighting for freedom against Blackwood fingers. They looked very soft. He almost reached out to confirm that the curls were as soft as they looked. Only when he noticed what he was thinking, Jon quickly cleared his throat again and nodded. “Ah, I see. Please excuse me for having been so curious.”

He didn’t comment on the way the librarian had called the Head of the Institute by his first name without any honorifics. That was something for another time. Jon had a hunch that talking about it would only reveal even more how competent and well-known in the Institute Blackwood was. That must be what made Jon so nervous to talk to the other man.

If he had noticed it, Blackwood didn’t mention it. Instead, his polite smile returned to his lips. “No worries. Glad to have been of help?”

“Very. Now, um, if you excuse me.” Awkwardly, Jon lifted a hand in a farewell. He added a nod. He added another quick “Goodbye”. Then, he finally turned to leave.

The reason why Blackwood was transferred hadn’t been anything paranormal which was kind of a bummer. But Jon finally had a longer conversation with the librarian. It didn’t go perfectly but it was a start.

Only after he had left, he noticed that he didn’t take the chance to look at the nameplate to get Blackwood’s first name.

Gods, Jon was a disaster.

Chapter Text

When Martin came back to the Institute and heard that he had been transferred to another department, he had known exactly who to blame. The immediate change had to be done by Elias himself as the Head of the Institute. But the way Peter had been hovering over Martin for the week he had been off work for recovery, the man knew that his dad had had a hand in that, too.

It annoyed him that once again, everything had been decided without consulting him. Especially because it was not even Elias who broke the news. When he returned to Research, he was warmly welcomed, just to be followed by team leader giving him the notice.

Martin didn’t want for anyone to know about his family, but he was still insulted by the fact that the Head of the Institute hadn’t even deigned to inform him of the change personally. He was about to call his dad to complain, when he finally looked at the paper and saw where he was being transferred to.

The Library. That ... didn’t sound too bad? He did like being in the libraries at Moorland House most.

Curious about his new position, Martin didn’t call his dad, in the end, but accepted the transfer.

He fell in love with it. It was a simple job and quiet most of the time. He barely had to talk to anyone to do his job. They weren’t allowed to be too loud in the library. Most of the time, Martin only had to talk to someone if they couldn’t find a particular book. Which wasn’t too often.

Thus, it wasn’t hard for Martin to begin taking notice of Jon. Especially because that man had taken over his position after the transfer, too. Jonathan Sims was a bit awkward and either stumbled over his words or was talking like a waterfall. There was no in-between. It was endearing. Martin didn’t mind it.

The cherry on top of the lovely interactions were that Jon had started switching over to warning Martin before he needed anything. It would always be a well-crafted email, politely asking whether they had a certain book available and whether the researcher could come by to pick it up or how long it would take to procure said book.

Martin was even a bit flattered that the email was never sent to the shared inbox of the library employees but always personally to himself.

Jon was a very curious person, fitting for the Eye. Yet, he had no real knowledge about the supernatural. He was friendly and polite if one gave him enough time to sort his thought.

Martin enjoyed watching the researcher finding his way through the Institute and his work. It was obvious to Martin that Jon was more suited to this place than Martin ever was.

When Martin heard his phone’s notification, he saw that an email by Jon had just found its way to him again.

“No way, is that a loving smile I’m seeing on a Lukas’ face?”

Just in that moment, Annabelle returned to the table with her third ice cream cone.

Martin immediately slid his phone away. “Why do you care?” he shot back as he leaned back in his chair and grabbed the sandwich he had bought himself a while ago.

“Oh, I do not care,” the young woman replied chipperly between two spoons. “It’s just interesting to see how the Institute is changing a Lukas. I can’t imagine Peter nor Nathaniel being happy about it.”

“There’s nothing to be happy or worried about as you’re mistaken,” Martin returned calmly as he started eating.

Sunday mornings were peaceful, especially at an outdoor food truck that had various tables around it and was just opening up at this hour. Those Sunday mornings weren’t as peaceful whenever the Weaver was tagging along but Martin had gotten used to it by now.

“The Institute is the best way for me to learn how to be laying low even amongst many people affiliated with the Eye.”

“Ha, hearing you so confident means that you haven’t crossed paths with the Archivist yet?”

Martin thoughtfully chewed on his food. He had seen Gertrude Robinson a few times. Not too often as she was either out or in the basement. She had no needs for books, and Research had only sent the statements to the Archives after they were done. So, they had never been in contact. Whenever he saw her, it didn’t seem like she noticed him. Or at least she didn’t see him as a threat.

“We have,” he answered in the end. “But it doesn’t look like she cares a lot about me.”

Annabelle smiled. Martin couldn’t quite tell whether she was happy about that or whether she was just happy to have ice cream. Her velvety voice wasn’t an indication either: “Good. But don’t forget, if you ever need a hand to deal with that Archivist, I’ll gladly offer you a favor.”

“No, thanks,” Martin said immediately without actually thinking about it. It had become a reflex.

Annabelle attempted to coax him into more favors every time, but he knew that she wasn’t really trying, so he also didn’t bother to put any effort into turning her down.

Just like always, she just laughed about it. “I’m sure Evan is thrilled about your new position. Less dangerous, isn’t it?”

Martin froze. He looked up to see her scooping the last bit of ice cream out of the cone before she started eating the cone itself. His arms were itching again. Just for a moment but it was more than enough for a reminder.

Something in him stirred. He had worked with Annabelle for long enough now to know that she was never slipping up. Hence, it meant she was giving him a hint. Why? On what? Before Martin could think it through, his protectiveness won.

“Do not contact Evan,” he hissed.

“If you say so,” the young woman replied, completely unfazed. “But I’m not turning him down if he’s asking me for a favor.”

She looked up to meet the young man’s gaze. The way she batted her eyelashes wanted to convince him that she was innocent. But her smile was too calculating.

Martin bit his tongue and held back on going off on her. Her telling him that much in her roundabout way had some meaning. He had to be careful to not be caught in her spider’s web.

First of all, he mustn’t doubt Evan, no matter what Annabelle said. His cousin had always looked out for him, sometimes even more than his dad. Martin knew that. Secondly, he had to find out what she gained by telling him this.

Annabelle seemed to know what he thought as she said, unprompted: “You will not believe me, if I say that I do not want to lie to you and have your best interest at heart?”

“No.”

“Oh, you wound me. I thought we were friends.”

“Business partners.”

“Well then.” The woman laughed. She rose from her chair, walked around the table and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Then do believe me that I am keen on keeping you on my good side for an extended business relationship. Can’t have you fall out with your family over a little suspicion then.”

Martin gritted his teeth. She basically just confirmed his suspicions and is then saying something like that? When he looked up to meet her eyes, Annabelle merely winked at him.

“See you next week.” With a little wave of her fingers, she walked away.

Huffing, Martin turned back to his half-eaten sandwich.

He had to talk with Evan as soon as possible.

Meeting up with his cousin wasn’t easy as Evan was always working late and then either out with his own friends or his fiancée. It wasn’t like Martin wasn’t happy for his cousin to have such a good life, but after the talk he had had with Annabelle, Martin couldn’t help but feeling like Evan was avoiding him ever since they met up in the hospital.

But no matter Martin wanted it or not, his work kept distracting him as well. Getting mails from Jon and helping him or other people in the library was the easier part of it.

He even rather enjoyed it. Whenever it got too much for him, his colleagues were always ready to take over a shift or two for him.

Only whenever he got a query by Jon, he would not leave the work to anyone else.

The researcher’s interests were always so specific. Sometimes Martin would write back that he’d need a hand in finding the requested book on purpose. It would then result in him getting a full lecture about the topic while they went through the library together. It was fun learning about new things like that.

Martin was also interested in Jon himself, someone who clearly had had his encounters with the paranormal and yet denied them so vehemently. His ramblings were amusing to Martin who knew everything about the Fears his family and especially Laura were able to teach him. Yet, a look on everything from the outside was also interesting as things had grown so natural to the librarian.

Martin wasn’t planning on helping, he liked seeing the people of the Institute –  people who didn’t know they were of the Eye – stumbling around. It wasn’t with malicious intent. The irony was just very enjoyable.

Work wasn’t as enjoyable, when things turned up in the library where they shouldn’t be. Martin was quite glad that Artefact Storage had a strict protocol on how to treat the artifacts, even if they hadn’t been proven to be supernatural yet. He still kept an eye out, if not for his colleagues, then at least for himself.

Just like during his university days, he wanted to lay low and not be noticed. It wasn’t easy considering how Bouchard loved making it public when he wanted Martin to come to a private meeting. While it truly was about the Institute and its finances, the Head of the Institute made sure to let his employees guess and gossip.

Martin just ignored it and prepared stories in advance in case someone asked him or anything else came to light. He wouldn’t let the Eye feast on him with such a little thing.

No, it wasn’t as easy to keep a low profile as when he was studying. But not running into anymore supernatural encounters like in Research was the librarian’s goal.

So, when Martin felt something off from a box with the most recent delivery, he was very wary. He couldn’t tell anyone the actual reason and had to find ways to work around it. But he found reasons to thwart his colleagues from opening the boxes on that day and came in early on the next morning instead.

Like that, he could make sure that no one else was around to be hurt – or just seeing him doing some unnatural things.

“Okay, let’s see what you are ... I do hope you’re not what I think you are,” Martin muttered to himself as he started opening the box.

Almost unconsciously, he pulled the One Alone closer to himself, like a well-worn coat he felt most comfortable in. It kept others away and kept him safe at the same time. He also pushed a little spider aside, hoping deeply that it was just a normal spider for once.

Even before he noticed the book, the fog had wrapped around his fingers, stopping him from actually touching the cover.

“This one, huh? Just to make sure ...”

Martin glanced at the cover. Encyclopedia of cockroaches. The librarian almost recoiled. The Corruption. What a nice encounter in the morning. He grimaced.

Martin didn’t even try to see if he could find a nameplate. He didn’t need to know whether it was a Leitner or not, it was definitely one of those books. It was better to leave it in the box for now and just move the box somewhere his colleagues wouldn’t get to.So, how to deal with it?

He took a step back and considered his options. Taking care of it himself wasn’t too hard. But there was the possibility of really angering someone. After his encounter with the Buried, Martin wanted to stay clear of that. Also, him burning a book would lead to questions from his co-workers.

Just giving the book to Artefact Storage didn’t sit well with Martin, either. While he knew about their protocols, they had better things to do than dealing with a cursed book.

Thus, he couldn’t help but think of Gerard Keay. The man was well-versed in dealing with Leitners and definitely would take a tip with glee.

Martin was only hesitating because he had promised his family to stay away from the Head Archivist. Keay was working with Gertrude. That was how the librarian got to know about the book-hunter, after all. That was also how he knew that Keay wasn’t officially employed by the Institute and seemed to avoid Elias. Good for the man, honestly.

Still, Keay was Martin safest bet, and he hoped his way to contact the book-hunter wouldn’t attract Gertrude’s attention. It also meant he had to trust Annabelle’s words again.

One of Gertrude’s assistants – Emma Harvey – seemed to be owing Annabelle a favor. Since Martin was in the Institute, Annabelle told him he could use it at any time. Martin knew full well that it came with a price but since he wanted to get rid of the book now and not have it endanger anyone else, he used it.

There’s a Leitner in the library’s storage room. Please take care of it. I’ll leave the doors open tonight.

It was a simple message.

Martin wasn’t sure whether it was enough to convince Keay. Still, he passed the note to the reception, where it was passed to Emma, and then hopefully to Keay. That should obscure his identity enough. If the matter wasn’t resolved by the next day, he could still find another way himself.

Despite everything, Martin wasn’t sure it would go well if he didn’t keep an eye on it. Hence, as promised, he didn’t lock the doors to the storage room and once he was sure, that no one was paying attention to him anymore, he used the Lonely to obscure himself to stay the night there.

He didn’t even have to wait long. Just a few minutes after the official closing times of the Institute, the door to the storage room was carefully opened.

Gerard Keay peeked inside and when he didn’t see anyone, he stepped in.

Martin didn’t know if it was the influence of the Eye on Keay, his instincts as a book-hunter, or sheer luck, but he walked to the box containing the book in question with determination.

A bit of rifling through the stack later, Keay took out the book. His face had the same expression of disgust that Martin must have made as well, when he noticed what kind of cursed book it was.

Martin almost let out a sigh of relief when it didn’t look like the book-hunter was going to deal with the Leitner right here. It wouldn’t have been good for the library.

Instead, Keay tucked the book under his jacket and got ready to leave the storage room. Just before he left, he stopped and turned around again. His eyes weren’t searching the room but looked straight at the corner in which Martin had been hiding in the whole time.

Martin held his breath. Did the book-hunter know? Could he See through the One Alone? With gritted teeth, Martin pulled the fog closer as he looked back. If he was attacked, he needed to get ready.

But it didn’t happen.

Keay just stared for a moment longer in Martin’s direction but then just left as if he hadn’t noticed anything.

Martin couldn’t help but being surprised the book-hunter. What a curious person. He was pretty sure that he had been Seen. Yet, there had been no repercussions for the librarian.

With Keay taking care of everything, Martin could even leave earlier than he had anticipated. It really took a load off his mind.

When he found the note on his desk on the next morning, for a moment, Martin’s heart was jumping out of his chest. It was a phone number with a single line: Text me next time.

Darn it. So, at least one other person than Elias at the Institute knew. Martin had only wanted to keep a low profile ... He sighed as he sat down and took the note into his hand to inspect it closer.

Somehow, it didn’t feel threatening. It felt even genuine. And since it was quite possible that the library of the Magnus Institute would get more of these books – either by mistake or because someone thought they belonged here – it would be good to have an ally in that regard.

Martin couldn’t help but smile, in the end. He saved the number in his ever-growing phonebook. For a moment, he even considered making Keay a cup of tea as a thanks. But as he avoided being seen by anyone in the Archives, he left it at texting Keay.

Thank you for taking care of the Leitner. This is my number if you ever need it.

Martin had to pester his cousin this time until they finally met again after a few weeks of not doing so. It had been too long this time. Martin had never left so many voice messages before as his calls tended to get picked up. Just when he was about to think calling his cousin’s fiancée instead, Evan was free for a meeting.

The cousins normally alternated in their choices of where to meet. Sometimes Martin would follow his cousin to one of the louder restaurants. On other days Evan would come with him to a quiet park. This time, they met in the middle – a little bar that saw a lot of visitors but was a calm and relaxing place in general.

Evan was already there, sitting in a corner, quietly smoking his cigarette. The moment Martin stepped in, though, his cousin immediately looked up and greeted him with a warm smile as he would always do.

“Good to see that you are feeling better.”

“I’ve been back to work for a few weeks now,” Martin muttered and rolled his eyes as he sat down. “You were the one who canceled the meetings these few weeks.”

“I know, I know! But Naomi and I have just so many things to do lately. Last week, for example, she wanted to see the movie on premiere night, sorry.” Evan laughed.

Martin smiled back. It was a tight smile, and he couldn’t fully relax into it. Normally, he wouldn’t be angry about it. He still wasn’t really angry. He was concerned. But he didn’t want to bring it up immediately. Instead, he danced around the topic: “How is Naomi doing these days? And will you finally tell your best man when you are intending to marry? I do need to prepare for it, you know?”

“Oh, hm.” Evan stubbed his finished cigarette out. His smile had become somewhat hollow. His now empty hand scratched his cheek thoughtfully. “It’s ... gonna be a while? There are a few things that I have to think through first, maybe?”

The words made Martin’s stomach drop. He stared as his cousin. Evan was so happy with Naomi. There was no way that this could go wrong, was there?

His cousin saw his stare and quickly laughed. He waved his hand as he assured: “Ah, don’t worry, Marto, I’m not having doubts about this engagement! But it has to be perfect, you know?”

Only when Martin sighed, he noticed that he had been holding his breath. “Please learn to phrase things better.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. Of course my librarian cousin will scold me about my bad phrasing, won’t he?” Evan winked at Martin. “Now, we haven’t talked in a while, how is the library treating you? Better than research?”

The moment Martin started to answer, he wasn’t given the chance to ask his own questions anymore. As soon as he was about to finish with one little story, Evan had already spun his remarks into the next question, keeping his baby cousin in the flow of telling him things.

While working in the library wasn’t as exciting, it was surprisingly a lot that Martin had to tell after they hadn’t met for so long. After a few more questions from his cousin, he also ended up talking about the Leitner and his loose relationship with Gerard Keay.

He did not expect for Evan to be so relaxed about it, although Martin was in contact with someone who was close to Gertrude Robinson. Instead, his cousin laughed as he lit another cigarette. “You sound like a magnet for bad luck and working overtime. Do take care of your health, Marto. Also, maybe that’s something you shouldn’t let your dad know.”

Martin groaned and put hid his head in his arms on the table. Getting hold of Peter was worse than whatever his cousin had been doing for the past few weeks. “He’s out again and I don’t know when he’ll be back. I don’t know how to tell him, even if I wanted to.”

“And that’s why you insisted on calling me out for a drink? I’ve seen the messages. Not very Lonely-like. I thought you’d appreciate the time for yourself.”

Martin peeked at his cousin through his arms. He scowled. Immediately, he knew where Evan wanted the conversation to go with the teasing. He considered it briefly, then he played along in a dramatic voice: “Do say it to my face if you do not want to meet me.”

“Marto, please,” Evan laughed even more. His eyes sparkled with mischief. “I’m always happy to see you. I feel flattered that you confide in me even after all these years.”

“You’re still my cousin and my best friend – who else should I turn to?” Martin muttered. He hid his face again to block out Evan’s smug smile.

Evan still loved making him say those things out loud. It was something that had carried the cousins through their childhood and something they both still treasured deeply. It always warmed Martin’s heart to know that his cousin would never let him be lost in the Lonely.

Taking a long breath that turned into a sigh, Martin straightened himself again when he didn’t feel his cousin’s gaze on him anymore. He looked up to see that his best friend had turned away in quiet thought.

As he watched Evan taking a deep drag from his cigarette while absentmindedly watching the few people in the bar, Martin saw someone else for a moment. Someone who had the same thoughtful look. A little wrinkle between the eyebrows. An arm draped over the back rest.

Martin’s breath got stuck in his throat when he realized who he was thinking about. A colleague. Jonathan Sims. Someone, who he had only interacted with on a professional level. But the polite, yet friendly emails of the researcher had always made him think of his Evan’s postcards.

Why now, though? He didn’t even know if Jon smoked. He also looked nothing like his cousin.

“Hey, Earth to Martin!” Evan snapped his fingers in front of his baby cousin’s eyes.

Martin flinched back.

“You alright?”

“What? Oh. Yeah. Don’t do that again!” Martin grumbled. He felt his cheeks grow hot and hid it with his mug of beer.

His eyes focused on Evan again and he frowned. He looked at the other two cigarettes his cousin had already finished with the third one halfway done.

“Are you alright?”

“Hm?” Evan shifted his eyes to him. The tired line around his lips were masked quickly by a not so bright smile. He stubbed out his cigarette and leaned towards Martin. “‘course I am. Come on, tell me more about your work. You sure you’re not hiding more, now that you have the number of Gerard Keay?”

They both knew they were lying about being alright. But as his cousin didn’t press him on the matters Martin didn’t want to talk about, he respected that in turn. Thus, Martin swallowed and didn’t pose the questions he had wanted to.

Everything would be alright. He only had to trust Evan. There was no way his cousin would ever want to harm him. But it didn’t mean that he would just sit there and do nothing if there was something that Evan was hiding from him.

Chapter Text

There was something wrong.

Martin felt it in the pricking sensation on his neck that made his hair stand.

There was something wrong.

Martin felt it deep in his bones and it made him want to scream.

There was something wrong that didn’t have to do with Evan, and it made the librarian hate every second he spent at the Magnus Institute.

He had a hunch where it came from, and it didn’t sit well with him that he might be Knowing thanks to the Eye’s influence. He was a son of the One Alone. There was no way he would let any other Entity claim him.

Yet, it seemed like he had been working for Beholding for long enough now, that it was starting to take hold of him. If he was honest, then yes, he had always enjoyed watching those around him when they weren’t paying attention to him. It still shouldn’t be enough to get him the Eye’s attention.

Martin tried his best to ignore it. It was a quieter day in the library and he tried to distract himself with work as much as possible. The persistent feeling in the back of his head didn’t stop.

Still, it took him until a spider was persistently crawling over the back of his hand while he was sorting books that he stopped ignoring it.

“What?” Martin snarled, irritated.

At the same time, he instantly sifted through his memories whether he was currently owing Annabelle a favor or not. No, he wasn’t. They had both currently repaid their debts. There was no reason for him to pay attention to the spider. But he would be lying if he wasn’t curious about the feeling he had.

Thus, he looked at the spider and muttered: “Give me a moment.”

Immediately, the little arachnid scuttled away from his hand.

Putting the box aside, Martin hastily told his colleague some excuse and then hurried out of the library.

As he stepped out of the library, he saw the very same spider waiting for him in the middle of the hallway. It started taking off once it had made sure that the librarian was following it.

Martin clicked his tongue. Something was going on and he was going to be used for the Web’s plan. He didn’t like it nor did he approve it but watching the Spider’s work had always been too fascinating for him.

Sometimes he wondered what his life would have been like if the Mother had found him before his dad did. It surely would have worked out but he couldn’t say he would have liked it better. For all of its flaws, the Lukas family was the only one for him.

Martin only shook himself out of his thoughts when he saw where the spider was leading him. He sharply stopped in his tracks. “Oh no,” he breathed and shook his head. “I’m not going to go down there.”

He stared at the spider that stopped in front of the stairs which led down to the basement – to the Archives.

“I have promised my family not to cross paths with Gertrude Robinson. I promised dad. I promised Evan.”

Not moving an inch further, Martin just stood there at the top of the stairs. He waited to be forced going down.

Nothing happened.

There was no string. No tugging. The spider wasn’t trying to get him to go down the stairs.

Martin blinked. He was surprised about it for a moment. But when he realized that he had wanted the spider to lead him, to make him go down there, he hissed in frustration. He was curious and had hoped to not be responsible for if he went ahead.

“Okay, you got me.” That was all the librarian muttered before he rushed down the stairs.

He had been wanting to find out for the whole day what was going on. It couldn’t be too bad to meet Gertrude once. He could tell her that he was looking for something in the Archives. A book that was not returned or something like that. Maybe she wouldn’t even recognize him as a Lukas. He wasn’t using the name, after all.

It was so quiet down in the basement. All that Martin could hear was the echoing of his own steps.

The moment he had chosen to go down, the spider had vanished. Martin could only hope that it was still around to get help if things went awry. But who knew what the Mother’s plan was?

When the sharp smell of gasoline hit his nose, Martin felt panic setting in. What was going on?

“Hello?!”

Within a few more steps, he swung open the door to the main office of the Archives.

Both he and Gertrude halted.

The old lady had various canisters around herself. She was in the middle of dousing boxes of statements with the contents of the canisters.

Before Martin could think of a proper answer, Gertrude’s face went stern. Despite her size, she stood upright and proud, making her taller than she actually was. Her voice was cold when she demanded to know: “What are you doing here?”

Immediately, Martin felt like a small boy again. It was like when he had done something wrong and Laura found out.

“Um ...” Just like when he was a boy, he froze and wrecked his brain for an excuse. Everything he had laid out before was gone in an instant. His mind drew blank.

The sound of a distant door creaking, followed by unhurried steps shook him out of his thoughts.

Even before Gertrude said it, Martin just knew that it was Elias. Without another thought, he reached out to the Archivist and pushed her into the Lonely before he stepped into it herself.

He heard the sound of protest next to him. With a quick movement, he shushed Gertrude while he kept an eye on the door leading to the Archives.

The Head of the Institute stepped in. There was a hint of a scowl on his face. Hopefully because he couldn’t see anyone in the Archives. It disappeared quickly as he smoothed his suit jacket.

Martin couldn’t help but notice something around the man’s waist. His thought was immediately cut off, when Elias called out to him: “Martin.” It was a scolding tone, tinged with slight disappointment, almost like a father. Only almost.

“Don’t think I don’t know you’re here. There’s only one avatar of the Lonely at the Institute. I Know.”

No, you don’t, Martin thought in defiance. If Elias truly knew, he would have pulled the Lukas out by now. But he didn’t. Not really. The Eye could not see through the fog if it was strong enough. The heir of the Lukas family was putting a lot of effort into it.

Certain that it was working, Martin took a further step back, almost walking into Gertrude behind him.

Martin jumped slightly as he had forgotten about her for a moment. He turned around to look at the old lady.

She stared back at him darkly. If looks could kill, Martin was sure he’d already be dead. But at least the Archivist didn’t make any moves to attract Elias’ attention.

It obviously didn’t sit well with the Head of the Institute as he began walking through the Archives. His steps were confident, but he didn’t get near Martin. He didn’t hear Martin move, taking the cloak of the Lonely and Gertrude Robinson with him.

It wasn’t easy. Martin held his breath when he moved, careful about every movement of his employer.

It would be easier on him if he didn’t want to lose Gertrude in the Lonely. He didn’t even know if she could get lost or if she was aligned with the Eye enough. But he didn’t want to take any chances. She was the reason he was here, after all.

Why was he even doing it?

Martin gritted his teeth and kept on. He could think about it later.

For now, he concentrated all he had on Elias. It didn’t matter if they would be visible or even noticed from another angle as long as the Head of the Institute didn’t.

Martin watched the man. He saw Elias’ hand ready at his waist and really hoped it wasn’t what he was fearing. Because then they’d really be dead the moment they were found.

Elias’ stares almost pierced through the fog. Yet, it was not enough. It was at least not enough to tell where exactly they were. It wasn’t enough to tell whether it wasn’t just a fog that Martin left behind.

Neither Elias nor Martin doubted that it was clear that the Lukas heir was involved.

If the increasingly deep crease between the director’s brows was anything to go by, the librarian was very successful. Martin had been in meetings with him so often that he could notice the subtle shifts that would have been hard to spot otherwise – unless Elias was being overly dramatic again.

After what felt like hours but couldn’t be any more than a few minutes, the Head of the Institute dropped his hand. He stared grimly into the Archives and growled: “This will have consequences, Martin.”

Just like that, he turned on his heels and walked out of the door.

Martin held his breath. He didn’t trust it. For a good while longer, he stared at the door and waited. Only when Gertrude stepped past him, out of the Lonely, seemingly unfazed by everything that had happened, Martin relaxed.

The moment he dropped the safe shield of the One Alone, the smell of petroleum hit him, almost taking away his breath. Alarmed, Martin shouted at the old lady: “What were you doing?!”

The Archivist whipped around. Her eyes bore into the man, pinning him in his place. “What were you doing?” she demanded to know. “I had always noticed the presence of the Forsaken in the Institute but to think that it was so near ... What do you want from me?”

“Nothing!” Martin immediately replied, irritated at her distrust. “I just ... helped!”

“Why? What does the Lonely get out of helping people?”

The question made the man stop in his tracks. There was no compulsion in her question. Maybe that was her way of thanking him. But it made him question himself.

Why was he even doing this?

The Archivist was right, there was nothing for him to gain. To be on Elias’s bad side was not a good idea. And yet, here he was, having chosen to help Gertrude Robinson – without even knowing what she had been doing.

But when he looked at her, he knew.

He saw the stern lines in her face; her smaller figure, almost half as tall as he was. He saw an old lady, confident in herself and not caring about what anyone else said.

Gertrude Robinson reminded him of Laura. His old teacher, unforgiving and loving at the same time.

He had wanted to protect Laura as a way of paying her back – something he had never been able to do when she had been still alive.

Martin bit his tongue. He was not going to tell the Archivist about that. Instead, he just got his phone out while he spat: “I did not do it for you. I’m doing it for Keay. As a thanks that he has done me a favor once.”

As he said that, he pulled up Gerard’s number and called the man. He neither bothered to deal with Gertrude’s dark stare from the side nor with Gerard’s confusion about the call.

“I don’t care where you are, get here now and take the old hag with you!”

In the end, Martin stayed to keep an eye on the Archivist, waiting until Gerard Keay had come to get her out of the Magnus Institute.

He still wasn’t sure what had actually been going on but he knew that Elias had meant it when he said there were going to be consequences. Martin could only hope that him acting out like this was well worth it.

In the evening of that day, Martin received a message from Gerard that he and Gertrude were going to leave the country and investigate some other things while they were going to think about how to deal with Elias. He wasn’t actually telling the librarian anything, but Martin was fine with it. While he was curious, he didn’t need to know. Not if he was going to stay at the Magnus Institute.

He had to steel himself for whatever Elias was planning instead. There was not much the Head of the Institute could do, was there? He could fire him, declaring the contract between the Lukas and himself as void – which Martin wouldn’t even mind, actually. He could also throw a bit of good old fear at him? That Martin would hate. Being perceived was not something he enjoyed. It would be a good way for Elias to get back at him. Or he could expose Martin’s employment as nepotism. Then Martin would have to live with the judging gazes from his colleagues while continue working here.

It didn’t help that Martin didn’t hear from his boss for several days after the incident. It only settled the feeling in him that Elias was cooking up something.

The nagging feeling only got worse when his cousin showed up at his work. The librarian had been busy with answering a few emails that he didn’t see Evan coming until he was standing right in front of his desk.

“Well, well, well, isn’t my kid cousin getting into too much trouble?”

Startled, Martin looked up. His cousin was standing there with the pleasant smile his kid cousin was used to. There was no reproach in his voice. Evan was more amused if anything.

“What ... do you mean?” Martin asked, slowly. He immediately cursed in his head as his voice was higher pitched than usual. He normally wasn’t that bad at lying.

Evan laughed, obviously knowing more about the situation. “I heard about Gertrude Robinson.”

Martin squinted. “How?”

“Believe it or not but Gerry and I are friends.”

Martin opened his mouth. He closed it again. In the end, he rubbed his temples. “Of course, he’s your friend, you social butterfly. And you’re even calling him ‘Gerry’?”

At those words, Evan was only grinning. His face only shifted to worry when he lowered his voice and asked: “Are you safe? Did you get in trouble with Bouchard?”

“Not yet,” Martin grumbled. “But I will. I would be surprised if he let me off the hook that easily, th—”

“Martin?” Just before he could finish the sentence, one of his colleagues came along. She gave Evan a short smile before turning to the librarian. “Rosie just called; Mr Bouchard wants to talk to you.”

The cousins shared a look.

Martin bit back a sigh and rose from his desk. “I’ll see you lat—”

“I’m coming with you,” Evan announced with a bright smile, taking his kid cousin by surprise.

Before Martin could protest, his cousin had put both hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him forward.

“Come on, I won’t let you go alone.”

Evan’s voice was too cheery, and Martin couldn’t help himself but roll his eyes. It was so like his cousin to say something that would go against everything a Lukas stood for.

It did help to have his cousin by his side because even when Elias was staring down both of them, Martin didn’t feel as affected. When Martin felt his employer’s bad mood, he immediately had put up the Forsaken between them.

The director’s piercing gaze always made the librarian uncomfortable. When he had shielded the former Archivist, he had been using everything he had to not be Seen. It was not something he wanted to do when he was sitting face to face with the Head of the Institute.

But Evan’s bright smile next to him was truly disarming.

Martin had to hide his own smile when he saw that it was his cousin’s signature smile that he had used in the last days he had still been living with Nathaniel. Whatever Elias Bouchard was going to throw at them, Evan surely would be able to deflect it. The feeling of being protected by his cousin again made Martin feel fuzzy inside.

“And who do we have here?” Elias kept his voice professional, devoid of any emotion except for the hint of curiosity out of politeness.

“Evan Lukas, at your service,” the man replied promptly. “I’m Nathaniel Lukas’ son and have been sent here to deal with the mess my kid cousin has made.”

“Are you now?” Elias voiced the question that immediately sprung in Martin’s head.

The librarian had to force himself not to look at his cousin. Instead, he pricked his ears to make sure he didn’t miss anything that Evan said.

“Yes, my father couldn’t make it, so he sent me instead, as I am already in London anyway. I sincerely apologize for all that has happened.”

Martin pressed his lips onto each other to not interrupt the conversation. He preferred it if he wasn’t noticed and could just listen. But since when had Evan become so good at lying?

He didn’t know whether it worked with Elias or not. Just to make sure, Martin shielded his cousin a little bit more. The way Evan moved closer to him showed him that they were working on the same side.

Thus, the little wrinkle between Elias’ eyebrows satisfied Martin. It was one of the small things he had picked up from all their meetings: Sometimes he could keep the Head of the Institute out of his head – and obviously it was working right now, too.

Carefully, Elias probed further: “So, you are aware of the damage your relative has caused. As a Lukas, and the fact that you have come here first – you surely already have an idea of how to punish dear Martin here?”

“Of course, I did come prepared.”

What?

“While we Lukas are indeed patrons of the Institute, we should not interfere as much. Thus, we will have to compensate you for what has happened, don’t we? You will be needing a new Archivist, Mr Bouchard. And that Archivist is going to need archival assistants. As we both know how important the helpers are – what about transferring Martin to the Archives? It will surely broaden his skills.”

“Evan?!” Martin sputtered, not able to hold back anymore. He turned to his cousin, who just put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him.

Martin was not able to decipher that smile.

The proposal seemed to appease Elias. The Head of the Institute began to smile as well. His posture relaxed as he leaned back into his chair. “Well, if it is already the wish of the Lukas family, then I shall accept it. The Institute and you Lukas have a deep friendship, after all. We shall not sour it.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

The sweet voice in which his cousin sealed the deal enraged Martin. He grabbed his cousin by the wrist while he looked at Elias. “Very well. Are we done?”

Elias’ triumphant smile made the man even more furious, especially when he sounded like he was doing him a favor: “Yes, we are. I will give you the details of your new position later, Martin. You may go now.”

Filled with hostility, Martin almost growled. But instead, he shot up and forcefully pulled his cousin outside.

“Evan, what the fuck?!”

Martin barely held himself back from shouting. It was only because they were still in the Institute that he didn’t do it. For now, he pulled his cousin into an empty meeting room. “You can’t just decide that on your own! What would I want in the Archives?! This was definitely not discussed with dad or uncle before!”

“I heard that Jonathan Sims is going to be made the next Archivist. You get along well with him, don’t you? It’s a good chance to get to know him better.” Evan was still smiling while he rubbed the wrist his kid cousin let go. There was not even a hint of complaint in his voice.

It almost made Martin apologize. But the words made him stop.

“Evan,” he began while trying to keep calm, “why do you know that Jon is going to be the next Archivist? It just happened – Elias hasn’t even started thinking about replacing Gertrude Robinson yet!”

“Ah.” Evan stopped. His smile froze. He avoided his kid cousin’s gaze.

“What are you keeping from me?” Martin stepped towards his cousin. He felt the urge rising to punch Evan for keeping so many secrets. But his worry won. So, he just made sure to be close enough that his cousin wouldn’t be able to walk away from him. “Talk to me.”

“Martin, listen ...”

“I am listening. So, you’re going to tell me right now what is going on! Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’re doing weird things behind my back!”

“It’s not like you th—”

“Are you working with Annabelle Cane?”

The silence that followed the question was telling.

Evan looked surprised for a moment, then annoyed, then defeated. In the end, he let out a sigh. “I’m not working with her,” he said after some more consideration. He lit a cigarette, not caring that they were inside a building. “It’s exchanging favors. You know the spiel.”

Martin bit his lip, suppressing a scream that was rising.

Evan had left the family, and Martin had hoped that it was not only for distancing himself from the One Alone but from the Fears in general. By having a business relationship with Annabelle like Martin was, Evan was still too close to everything.

At the same time, so many things fell into place, which gave him even more of a headache. He took a deep breath. “So. The fact that I reached out to you again after I came to London?”

Evan smiled guiltily between two drags from his cigarette. “I asked her to give you a little push. She would have reached out to you anyway – it’s a part of her game, just like how she had reached out to me. Hence, I thought I could use it and bring you to me again.”

“And you had your way again when you wanted me out of Research.”

“... yes.”

“I don’t like it.”

Martin crossed his arms. He stared right into his cousin’s eyes as he swallowed the bitterness. While he had ignored Evan for a good part of his teenage years, it hurt that his cousin trusted him so little that he did not come to discuss it with him but used the Web instead. “I don’t like being manipulated. Least of all by you. You know I trust you. Don’t play with that.”

Evan’s shoulders drooped. He dropped his hand with the cigarette, looking right back at his kid cousin. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It will never happen again.”

The smile Evan gave him was so wobbly, that Martin could feel the pain behind it.

Martin sighed quietly. He had made his point clear and his cousin had obviously understood it. Feeling, that he could let Evan off the hook for now, Martin returned the smile wryly and muttered: “Well, if anything like this happens ever again, I will go to Uncle Nathaniel and blame him for everything. Because he made you leave the family, I can’t watch over you properly anymore.”

Evan’s following snort dispelled the tension between the cousins. They both started laughing when Evan pulled Martin into a warm hug.

It did ease Martin’s anger but the man couldn’t help being worried about so many other things.

Everything was a mess.

Chapter Text

Starting a new position was always nerve-wracking. Especially if it was a promotion.

Jon did not feel like he was the right person for this job at all. There were other people, more suited to be the Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute.

Why did Gertrude Robinson disappear anyway?

On top to the unfamiliar new environment, Jon was even surprised that any of the statements were still around and haven’t disappeared with their former keeper, given the state of the Archives.

That was exactly why he had asked for other people to join him down here. Sasha James from Artefact Storage – he had seen her work before and talked to her once or twice. She was so bright and competent; she should have been promoted instead. Now, Jon could only hope to be able to rely on her expertise.

He also asked for Tim Stoker – someone who started in Research with him at around the same time and whom Jon respected. Tim’s outgoing nature would help with meeting statement givers and doing follow-ups.

Jon had only asked for those two because those were the ones he knew were suited for this job. He was also only comfortable asking for them. But since those two alone were too few employees for the Archives, Elias had offered him someone else who was also well-suited for the placed: Martin Blackwood.

Of course Jon knew who that was. The friendly librarian. The soft man who would sometimes tease him lightly but never with malicious intent.

That librarian who had started working here before Jon and was in more meetings with Elias than some department heads even. Another person who would have been more suited to be the Head Archivist instead of Jon.

Whatever respect the man may have had for Jon as a researcher would be thrown out the window the moment he saw that Jon knew nothing about the Archives at all.

The very thought made him feel ill.

No. Jon could not let that happen.

He would not let it happen.

It didn’t look like Martin had wanted this position anyway. The librarian had walked back into Elias’ office at least twice with the new contract. If what Tim had allegedly heard from Rosie was to be trusted.

But if Martin truly had no interest in archiving, Jon could get through by pretending he knew better than the former librarian how to run the Archives. Maybe Jon would even be able to get him to go back to the library. Then it might be easier for them to actually become friends instead of boss and subordinate. They had never had the chance to truly talk to each other with how Jon had behaved around Martin.

Thus, he either had to make sure the man left the Archives or at least did not lose any respect he might have for Jon.

“Martin!” he called out to his assistant from between a few shelves. With some papers in his hand, he walked towards the desk. “These were on the wrong shelf. You put it under ‘seven’ instead of ‘one’!”

“Huh?”

Martin jerked up in a daze. There was a thoroughly confused look on his face.

Good. Jon had to keep going at the weakness. “You were the last one to have these statements after yesterday’s report! Who else could have made such a mistake then?”

“O-oh, did I? I’m sorry about that.”

Martin didn’t quite meet Jon’s eyes.

The Head Archivist felt bad about it. But he had to establish respect and a hierarchy first. Even if he used some little lies to get there.

To ignore his guilty conscience, Jon glanced at the statements Martin was holding. “What are you looking at, anyways? What is distracting you so much?”

“Aaah, is it the rich kids?” Tim barged in from the side.

He might have been throwing Jon glances the whole time while the Head Archivist was trying to berate his assistant. Jon had done his best to ignore Tim.

But now that they were changing the topic, there was no stopping the man anymore: “It’s a fairly recent one, so a follow-up should be possible! You’ll be able to do it without a problem, Martin!”

“Oh, that one!” Sasha also chimed in. She was immediately by Martin’s side as well, slinging an arm around his shoulder to get a better look at the statement. “Yeah, it’s the interesting one in which both of them had nearly the same experience! That’s very rare as far as I’ve seen it from all the statements until now!”

Jon watched the way Martin squirmed, moving his big body carefully out of Sasha’s touch while trying not to be offensive. He pretended not to see it and focused on the papers.

The statement of two heirs about a party they attended some years back. While they were there, somewhat later into the party and after talking to the Lukas heir, they found themselves at a desolate cliff again. One of them was on top of a lighthouse while the other was at the bottom. They could see each other but they couldn’t hear each other nor reach each other in any way despite having tried. And every time they took their eyes off the other one, they were all alone and left stranded at the mist-shrouded place.

Jon wrinkled his nose. He did not like to read the name “Lukas”. Members of that family had already turned up once or twice in the statements he had read so far. But he also had read that name on the board committee of the Institute. That name meant trouble.

“We’re not dealing with what obviously are drunk ramblings,” he growled. “It wouldn’t even surprise me if they thought of the prank together, given how similar their statements are. I thought I had already put it on the ‘Dimissed’ box. Go, and put it back there, Martin. You’re wasting time – no wonder you’re always behind. And you two, go back to work, too.”

Jon watched Tim and Sasha grin and scramble away from Martin’s desk.

Meanwhile, the man looked up from the statement, back to his boss again. “O-okay. Dismissed statements,” he muttered, obviously surprised and confused by Jon’s judgement.

He rose slowly and thoughtfully.

Jon braced himself to be berated that he was wrong and that they should look more into the statement.

But Martin just sheepishly pushed himself past the Head Archivist and complied.

Huh, maybe Jon was good at exuding authority after all.

We’re not dealing with what obviously are drunk ramblings.

Martin didn’t know he could feel that relieved over some few words. When he saw the statement, he had known exactly which Lukas it was about as well as when and where it had happened. He really hadn’t expected those two pests to believe in the Magnus Institute. But maybe that had changed after what Martin had done.

What Martin wanted the most was not to be recognized here. He liked Sasha and Tim – and he also had more chances to talk to Jon if they weren’t too busy re-organizing the Archives. Apart from the circumstances that led him to working in this department, he actually liked the work and his colleagues here. He didn’t want them to find out that he belonged to the monsters they were investigating.

It helped that he was using the name “Blackwood”, a name that still left a bitter taste in his mouth whenever he was called by or introduced himself with it. He didn’t remember that family – he didn’t remember that house anymore.

Still, the name was a necessary evil. It helped Martin staying incognito, especially here in the Archives. The Eye’s innermost temple. If there were any employees in this Institute the closest to the truth of the Fears, Martin knew it was the Head Archivist and their assistants. He had seen Gertrude working. He had read the statements.

Martin couldn’t help but wonder whether just being here also affected the people getting even closer to the Eye. He disliked how curious he had become about his colleagues, how he was always watching them when he was sure that they weren’t noticing him.

It also went the other way around.

Whenever Martin was sure that he was attuned with Forsaken enough to be working in peace and putting some music on his ears, Sasha would soon tap his arm to get his attention. “Jon’s coming,” she would always whisper to him in a conspiratorial tone.

That was the sign for Martin to quickly put his headphones away as his boss would always be shouting at him for being “distracted”.

Martin’s little vanishing acts never seemed to work on Sasha.

Neither on Tim.

Each Thursday evening, Martin tried his best to be inconspicuous. To either leave earlier than the others or stay behind for so long until he was the last.

Whenever he attempted that, Tim would sling his arms around Martin’s broad shoulders and wiggle his eyebrows. “Don’t forget, drinking night later! And this time we’ll get Jon to join!”

It had yet to happen that they got their boss anywhere after work.

But all those instances made Martin sure that just using the Lonely lightly in the Archives would not help. He was also reminded that Gerard Keay, who had unofficially been an archival assistant, had also noticed him back then.

Martin surrendered to the fact that if he wasn’t using the One Alone’s full power while being in the Institute, it would only barely help. Luckily, it didn’t look like there was any reason for him to do so here, anyway.

His fear of being found out got worse with every statement he found about the Lonely. Even other avatars didn’t let him go so easily.

When he was the first to find the statement about two hunters losing their prey because they were spirited away to the open ocean and still returned there every time they smelled salt, he almost ripped the paper apart.

He just barely restrained himself. If he had destroyed a statement, he would have Elias on him faster than he could vanish into the Lonely.

Martin was sure that the Head of the Institute would walk over the friendship between him and the Lukas when it came to the Archives.

But what else could he do?

He couldn’t destroy any of the statements. He could try to hide them but how long would it take for the others to still find it? If he already wasn’t able to hide himself here, there surely was no way he could hide other things without permanently concentrating on it.

In the end, all he could do, was hoping that his colleagues never connected the dots.

Martin thought he would be able to keep a poker face throughout everything once he knew that the handful of statements that could have been about him were found.

None of the statements actually described him or mentioned the name “Martin Blackwood”.

While it started to irritate him how Jon was constantly nagging about the quality of his work despite having dismissed each and every statement so far – except for any involving Leitners – it gave Martin a peace of mind that he could still work here without being watched too closely or even warily.

He was on guard, though, for the case that Elias felt like dropping something or nudging his fledgling Archivist in the right direction of the Fears. Or for the case that someone from his family or Annabelle showed up at the Institute.

Still, after a few weeks, things seemed to calm down, and Martin was settled. Just a few years here and maybe he could leave before Jon had amassed the same knowledge that Gertrude had. For whatever reason, the old Archivist had left this place in disarray, so it wasn’t easy for Jon.

In the beginning, Martin had felt bad for Jon for being thrown into this job. With the way the former researcher acted, he knew exactly that Elias had chosen someone who didn’t know anything about archiving on purpose. The Head of the Institute had fun with making a fool of other people.

But with the way Jon was trying to mask it, it started getting on Martin’s nerves more with each day. Still, he gritted his teeth and kept quiet. It was better not to stand out.

The day Martin’s resolve was shaken was when he came back later from a lunch break than normally. Annabelle had called him and insisted on going out for lunch together or she would come to the Institute and drag him out. Since Martin neither wanted his colleagues and his boss nor his employer to know about the avatar of the Web, he had begrudgingly followed the call.

By the time he returned, someone who had come in to do a live statement was leaving.

“Oh, excuse me,” Martin muttered when he almost ran into the person as they left the Archives.

Neither of them really looked at each other when the archival assistant stepped to the side and let her leave.

Only when she was almost gone, Martin looked up and raised an eyebrow. Was that ...?

That lady looked familiar. But she shouldn’t be here. She didn’t have a reason to—

“There you are!” Jon’s sharp voice cut through the Archives. “It’s already past lunchtime. I will not have you come in late another time!”

The man stared at Martin, who quickly ducked and made himself small. “S-sorry!”

It had been Annabelle’s fault. She had to go and order a second dessert. But it didn’t change the fact that he was indeed late.

From the way Jon looked at him, his boss didn’t care about any excuse, either. Instead, he held a tape up. “I just recorded a statement from Ms Reid,” he announced. “Transcribe it and mark any detail that will require a follow-up. You can at least do that much, yes?”

Martin froze.

It had truly been his nurse at the door? The one who was so kind to him when he had his stay in the hospital after the run-in with a Buried avatar?

“Martin?” Jon’s voice was impatient, just like his scowl was.

“Yes, sorry, of course,” Martin gabbled. He grabbed the tape and the introduction paper from Jon’s hands and plopped down in his seat, not noticing a pitiful glance Tim and Sasha threw him.

Martin was fully fixated on the tape he had gotten. When he looked at Jon’s notes, he felt a cold rush.

Natasha Reid.

It was indeed his nurse. But why? Did she run into another Dread Power? There was no way it was about him, was it? He didn’t do anything to her. He even made sure that his dad wouldn’t get to her, either.

With shaking hands, Martin put the tape in the recorder.

He almost dropped the headphones twice. Then, his hands were ready on the keyboard with a blank document opened on the screen.

But the moment he listened to Ms Reid starting her statement, he didn’t see the monitor anymore.

It was a statement about him.

Natasha hadn’t mentioned him by name. She only said “a patient” as she needed to keep the privacy of those in her care.

But after that day with him, she kept on hearing a voice calling out to her. Someone who told her to come sit with them, to keep them company for a while. It would always be so tempting, accompanied by the smell of tea. A smell that Natasha associated with comfort and rest.

But if she followed the voice, she would be walking endlessly through a thick fog. She would lose her way and only have the voice and the scent guide her – lure her even deeper into nothingness. She always knew, that if she didn’t turn around, she would just keep on walking with no end. All alone and without ever reaching the warm place the voice was promising.

If she ignored the voice, it would get louder each night, when she was alone at home. It would only cease for a while if she followed it again.

Natasha Reid was preparing. Until now, she had kept her wits. She had always returned just in time. But she wanted at least someone – some place to know what had happened for the day would be lost for good. Because knew that she would keep on trying to find the person behind the voice. Because she wanted to have that good tea, that company just once more.

“...tin? Hey, Martin!”

The sudden hand on Martin’s shoulder made him jump.

He looked up but wasn’t really seeing Sasha’s face in front of him. His mind was racing.

He hadn’t wanted to do that to Natasha. He genuinely had wanted to help her. He had wanted to make her feel less lonely, not lonelier!

“You look pale, are you alright?” His colleague’s voice barely reached him. Sasha glanced at the tape, then at the still blank document on the screen. She smiled wryly. “Nasty statement?”

Those words immediately brought Tim to the scene. With a bright smile he rose, his chair scraping on the floor, and announced: “Time for a break then!”

Martin winced. He had just managed to take the headphone off. With two pairs of expectant eyes on him, he choked: “I just came back from lunch.”

“Nuh uh,” Tim wiggled his finger in front of Martin’s face. “You came back too late from lunch. And you have already listened to the whole statement. So, if you look at the clock now, it’s already time for a tea break again!”

Just him mentioning “tea” made Martin go rigid. He had offered his nurse tea. It was the thing that was still haunting her.

“I ... I don’t drink tea,” he blurted out in the spur of the moment.

The compassionate look both of his colleagues gave him in response made him shrink.

“Yeah, you’re absolutely going to take a break from this statement,” Sasha decided.

“And if Jon is going to be on your case about it, we’ll take the brunt,” Tim added gravely.

As it was clear that the two of them wouldn’t give up, Martin finally moved. Flanked by them, they walked into the break room where Sasha pointed at a chair and firmly said: “Sit down! We’re making the tea today.”

Doing as he was told, Martin watched the two get to work.

Tim and Sasha rummaged in the cupboards to find the tea provided by the Institute that Martin had pushed far into the corner after he had brought his own down to the basement. They were talking to each other but none of that reached Martin’s ears.

His thoughts were still with the statement. He couldn’t think of any way to help the woman. He was never taught how to. Evan had helped him, and he had helped Evan, but they both were Lukas. It would not work on strangers – not like that.

She had stated that it was a recurring thing. Thus, it was also not feasible to go into the Lonely every time to pull her back out. Especially because Martin wouldn’t know when it would happen. Let alone what his family would say about such an endeavor.

Only when Tim gently nudged a cup into his hand, Martin noticed that the tea was done. He did his best at a wobbly smile before he carefully sipped the tea.

Martin stopped.

It was hard not to make a face.

It was even harder to keep his mouth shut: “Your tea is awful.”

“What?!” Tim and Sasha exclaimed in sync. Their faces also had the same incredulous look as they stared at the archival assistant.

Tim was the first to recover. He dramatically clutched his chest and said woefully: “You wound us! Do you see that, Sasha? Martin hurts us! And here we are trying to lift his mood with his beloved tea but we are scorned!”

Sasha couldn’t help but laugh about the performance. Still, she punched Martin in the shoulder in solidarity to Tim. “We did our best with what the Institute is providing us,” she defended their honor. “How could we dare to touch your fancy tea? Seriously, where do you even buy those?”

With ostentation, Martin rolled his eyes. He couldn’t help but smile at the drama in front of him. So, he rose from his chair and beckoned the other two. “Come on, I’ll show you how to make proper tea. Then you can also use my ‘fancy’ tea.”

As he began his little lecture, he was reminded of the day Evan began teaching him how to make tea. The day he had pulled his cousin out of the Forsaken and did everything he could to bring Evan back to him. Hadn’t it also been similar circumstances? A similar conversation even?

Now, in this position, Martin could fully relate to his cousin. Going through the familiar motions grounded him back in reality. Talking his colleagues through the steps cleared his mind. The scent of tea warmed him from the inside and told him that everything was alright.

It was for now, as neither Sasha nor Tim interrupted him and even seemed genuinely interested. It was for now, because Martin knew that Natasha Reid was lost and nothing could save her. He had even involuntarily done a good deed for his One Alone.

At the same time, the Lukas heir knew that nothing was alright. He was still throwing people into the Lonely even when he meant to do well. Maybe it was something subconscious because to him the Forsaken was indeed a good thing.

But it wouldn’t be good for the people around him.

He couldn’t stay here if there were people he had grown fond of and could not afford to hurt.

Chapter Text

No matter how busy the harbour was, whenever the Tundra drew near, all the sounds would slowly die down and the place would become emptier.

It always amazed Martin how people subconsciously walked away from danger. At the same time, the rumors and whisperings surrounding the Tundra because of that amused him greatly.

He came to the harbour on time, just when the dock was empty enough for no one to bother him. Pulling his coat closer against the cold wind, he watched as the ship majestically arrived.

The moment the Tundra was still enough, the first to greet Martin was The Captain. The cat hopped down to prowl around his legs and purr in a volume that could outdo the ship’s engine itself.

“Hello, I missed you, too,” Martin muttered quietly as he went down to pet the cat. Feeling the soft, warm fur under his hand almost immediately made him feel warm again.

The Captain let itself be petted until the sailors were ready to leave the ship as well. Before the first one left the ship, The Captain nimbly jumped back on the Tundra.

The crew was just as enthusiastic with greeting Martin. As they left the ship, they still called him “mini captain” just like they had done over the years.

One of them even punched him in the shoulder with a wink. “Here for your swimming lesson?”

“Not today,” Martin replied with a shy smile. He was fond of everyone here but handling their teasing was something he still wasn’t good at. Every time it was like seeing uncles and aunts again that live in a faraway country. Even if they were all leaving now, just seeing them warmed the mini captain’s heart.

As always, Tadeas was the last to leave. He only had his serious nod to Martin but that little greeting was enough between the two of them. That also meant that Peter was also done with everything and was staying with the Tundra a bit longer as always.

Once everyone was gone, Martin boarded the ship to go look for his dad. He found the captain by the railing, staring out at the horizon longingly.

Martin smiled. “You don’t plan on leaving already again, do you?”

“That might be a bit difficult without a crew,” Peter replied with a slight chuckle. He turned around and opened his arms to hug his son. “What a surprise, you’ve been too busy to come greet me like this for a while now.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. It’s difficult if it’s not the weekend like this.”

“You alright?”

“Mh.”

Not really answering the question, Martin snuggled his face into his dad’s chest, taking in the smell of the sea that still clung to the coat.

Peter hugged him tightly before he gently pushed him away to look him in the face. “Martin,” he called out in a stern voice. “Talk to me.”

A little groan escaped Martin. “Since when does a member of our family want another one to talk?”

Peter made a choked sound. It was something between a chuckle and conceding that his son was right. After giving it some thought, he put a hand on Martin’s head and softly tousled his hair. “Try?”

“Okay,” Martin muttered. He took a deep breath. “Okay.”

Carefully untangling himself from the captain, he started pacing around.

“It’s just ... I don’t know how much longer I can work at the Magnus Institute. I know you have some kind of relationship with Bouchard that is ensuring my safety. Uncle Nathaniel has also gone over the contracts with me various times and I know this is more or less his final test for me before I can take the family over. Everything should be alright.”

As Martin talked, he wrung his hands and kept walking in circles. “But I really do not like it. I know I am being Watched the whole day I’m there. I do not like the feeling. On top of that, I’ve started Watching people as well. Yes, we do not know about true Loneliness until we know how distant we are from the others – but seeing them should be enough. I shouldn’t be ... observing them! And all the statements! About me! I’m not doing things so that the Eye can feast on me! By the Forsaken, if the contract didn’t exist, I would have already run away to where no one knows me ...”

“Please don’t,” Peter muttered. He reached out and pulled his son close to him again.

Martin let out a long sigh before he returned the embrace once more. “I’m scared, dad,” he confessed, muffled by the soft cashmere of the captain’s coat. “I’m hurting people even when I don’t want to. I don’t mind serving Forsaken, I really don’t. But I want more control over it.”

“There’s only that much control we have over it,” Peter reminded him with a low voice. “If we don’t feed it, it will feed on us. You being scared of it right now is the first step of it feeding on you. Don’t be, Martin. Accept it.”

“I know! I know ... I still wish I could just run away.”

The atmosphere changed. Fog enveloped them and in the arms of Peter, Martin welcomed the cold. He welcomed the embrace of the One Alone. At least that “running away” was granted to him for a while.

A moment later, he heard the sea. The lulling sound of waves. Blinking up from his dad’s arms, Martin saw the sea around the Tundra. He was out on the sea with the ship he missed so much. The place he truly felt at home. The one time from his childhood had left an impression on him that had never faded. His dad’s domain.

It was such a good ship, nothing hurt here, unlike in the Institute where everything felt worse tenfold.

Peter was gently patting his son’s hair, just like in Martin’s childhood. His words made his broad chest rumble: “You’re doing so well, Martin. You’re enduring it so well, I’m proud of you.”

The soft words made Martin snuggle more into his dad’s arms. The embrace protected him from everything else.

“I’m glad you’re doing it for us. No one else can keep such a good eye on Elias. And now even the Archivist. While it is so hard for you, you are still doing it. I’m sorry. It hurts, doesn’t it?”

“Of course, it hurts,” Martin mumbled into the captain’s jacket. “We Forsaken are not made to be Seen.”

“I know, I know. And yet you’ve made it this far, Martin. You’ll make it further. You’re the strongest of us Lukas.”

Martin hummed, not entirely sure of it. If he was strong, he wouldn’t be running here to his dad like a little child. But Peter was right: It wasn’t as bad that he would be tossing in the towel— Martin stopped his train of thoughts. There was something wrong, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it yet.

“Don’t run away,” Peter softly asked of him. “I’ll make sure to celebrate once the contract is over and you’re leaving the Institute.”

Martin tore away from the captain and stared at him. He rewound the words. His dad had told him about running away regularly in his youth himself. It had even been encouraged by the family.

Anger rose in Martin as he understood. Yet his words were hollow when he asked: “So you’re not going to help me leave the Institute now?”

The captain looked at his shoes. “I wish I could help you leave the Institute.”

“You could!” Martin shouted. “You absolutely could! But you’d rather cling to your bet than help your son, don’t you?”

“Martin ...”

“Is this what it feels like to be abandoned by one’s father? I can’t quite remember the last time it happened.” Sarcasm started finding its way into his voice. “Thanks for repeating it so that it sticks.”

“Martin,” Peter tried again. “It’s just going to be for a few years. And you’re the only one who can keep Elia—”

“Don’t!” Martin pushed the captain away. As he took a few steps back, he spat: “I have told Evan and now I’m warning you: Do not try to manipulate me!”

He felt tears rising in his eyes. He took off his glasses and wiped them away as he muttered: “Right. Soft whisperings. Words of reassurance and kind encouragement. Empty phrases and pleasantries that seem to build connection but, in the end, build a wall instead. A wall that keeps you distant to avoid a real deep conversation. That’s what it is, isn’t it? I have learned it from Nathaniel and forgot that you, as a born Lukas, have also internalized it well and are a master at it. Yes, you’re serving the One Alone just great, dad.”

“Mart—”

“Just,” Martin immediately interrupted Peter before he could say anything else, “shut up for a while, okay?”

Without looking at his dad another time, he turned and stepped out of the Lonely to leave the Tundra behind.

When Martin returned to the Archives, it was begrudgingly. He could be running away, just disregarding the contract and his whole family. But whenever he thought about that, Elias’ smug smile would turn up in his mind. Martin just couldn’t let that Bouchard win who had predicted from the beginning that this place would not be a place he would like to be at.

So, Martin took on the challenge. Also in a way to defy his dad – if anything happened to him while he was here, it would be Peter’s fault for not getting him out of here. It was a petty revenge for their dispute, but it made Martin feel satisfied with his decision to return to the Institute after the weekend.

Still, when he met Tim and Sasha that morning, he wasn’t very sure how to behave to keep them away from him. He shouldn’t let anyone close again.

Should he just show his irritation? Wear his emotions on his sleeve? Just the thought of it made Martin feel bad. They weren’t at fault for everything else that was going on in his life, after all.

If he ignored them, would they be sad? Would they miss him? Would it drive them to the Lonely?

Martin almost let out a bitter laugh when he noticed what he was thinking. He was no one. The moment he left, they would forget him. He had no impact on their lives and was very forgettable – as he should be as an avatar of the Lonely. He wouldn’t be able to feed on them.

It was fine.

And even if they would be eaten up by the Forsaken, then he should actually be happy to be able to serve his Patron without effort.

He shouldn’t be feeling this guilty.

Martin gritted his teeth, trying his best not to think about it anymore. He shouldn’t overestimate his position and importance here. He was no one—

“Martin! What is with this follow up?!” Jon’s voice boomed throughout the Archive as he strode with confident big steps towards the assistant’s desk. “Why did you write ‘dismissed’? That’s my job! Your job is to do a follow-up, no matter what you think about the statement itself!”

With a glance at the papers, Martin almost groaned. He immediately recognized it as the last statement he worked on that morning. The one that neither fit any Fear nor a mix of Fears. A statement that was clearly some drunk teenagers playing pranks on each other.

So, he glared at Jon. “Because you’re clearly just trying to keep me busy. Your judgement is normally better than this.”

By the way the Archive had been working and how fast Jon truly dismissed statements without asking for any follow-up – in contrast to him denying every statement on tape – Martin was quite sure it was the Eye’s influence on its Archivist to allocate energy and time wisely. Thus, he was sure that this was just a personal attack.

For a moment, Jon flinched back at his assistant’s dry tone. But then, he set his jaw and doubled down, his voice rising in volume: “Don’t make me repeat myself. It’s my job to give you something to do. And it’s your job to do what I tell you.”

“Well, what do you know about your job?” Martin shouted back and yanked the documents out of Jon’s hands. “You aren’t even properly filing these! And you call yourself the Head Archivist?”

“What?” Jon scrunched up his nose indignantly. “I am trying to make the mess Gertrude has left behind somewhat comprehensible.”

Martin rolled his eyes. “Don’t you try that on me! I’m the one who has worked in Library for years! And whatever you this mess is, it’s not better than what Gertrude did!”

Both men stared at each other, panting from their shouts.

From the corner of his eyes, Martin could see both Sasha and Tim watching. He didn’t care as he would not let Jon berate him another time for something that was not his fault.

For a long time, it looked like the Head Archivist wanted to say something in return. But in the end, he just pressed his lips onto each other and nodded curtly.

“Very well.”

With those words, he turned on his heels and returned to his office. The door closed with a loud slam.

The initial feeling of victory faded quickly. With a sigh, Martin slumped into his chair and buried his head into his arms on his desk.

“Shit,” he muttered quietly.

He let his defiant side slip. Why did Jon have to be so much like his uncle in these moments?

Well done, Martin, you have just successfully made your crush absolutely hate you.

“That. Was. Amazing!” Tim had found his voice again and let out a cheery shout. “I already feared you would let Jon treat you like that forever!”

“It was not amazing,” Martin muttered into his arms.

“It totally was! I didn’t know you had it in you, Marto!”

“And don’t worry about it too much,” Sasha chimed in from the side. “We all know you’re right. Jon knows that, too. It’s just his pride is wounded but he’ll get over it.”

“Yeah, he’s always been a prickly guy, even in research. But he knows what’s right and wrong.” Tim laughed and threw an arm over Martin.

Martin recoiled from the touch and rolled away with his chair. Then, he immediately flinched. Hastily, he apologized: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to ...”

“Oh, nope! Nope, don’t be sorry!” Tim immediately replied, shaking his head at Martin’s guilt. “Personal space and everything, I understand, my fault!” He had raised both of his hands as if he was surrendering. The calm smile he gave showed his sincerity.

Martin exhaled slowly. He was relieved that he didn’t make another enemy on the same day. It was still awkward.

As if to counteract the silence, Sasha slammed her hands on her desk and rose. “Okay, come on, let’s go make tea! We can even make one for Jon as a peace offering.”

A nervous chuckle came over Martin’s lips, but he nodded and stood as well. Tea always calmed him, after all.

The idea of a peace offering sounded great as well. He wasn’t sure whether Jon would accept it or not, but it was worth a try. Yet, he was so engrossed to put down every compliment and amazement Tim and Sasha threw at him, that they forgot about Jon’s tea on that day.

Tim and Sasha were surprisingly good at taking Martin to a cup of tea whenever things threatened to be too much for him again. Actually, it wasn’t too surprising considering they were Archival Assistants. Still, it didn’t sit well with Martin of how observant they were.

While he enjoyed their presence and their banter as well as a good cup of tea to distract him from the offended cold treatment Jon was giving him now, he’d rather prefer it to have time to vanish into the One Alone. It was hard to recharge with them around. Even though they were both very mindful, it was sometimes still too much for Martin.

Of course, it was not only Tim’s and Sasha’s fault. Neither was it the sulky Jon who knew that Martin had been right. It was the feeling of being constantly Watched that his workplace was giving him. After all, one never was truly alone in the Institute as long as Elias was there.

It only made Martin more irritable over time which didn’t help his relationship with Jon at all.

At least the Head Archivist as well as his assistants were listening to Martin now. They listened to Martin’s knowledge on organising as well as whenever he tells them about how to categorise a statement. But that was all there was. Martin and Jon didn’t exchange a word except it was directly work related.

It also meant more work for Martin as he was reading through many older statements to make his colleagues see connections without outright telling them. If he was honest, though, those were the moments he liked the most. The concentrated silence in the Archive, the possibility to block off any attempt of conversation by being actually busy. In those moments, it felt like he was back at Library for a while.

Reading the statements wasn’t bad, as well. They made up for Martin’s lack of time with Forsaken. While it was not as good as experiencing Fear first-hand, experiencing them through the statements still got him going. Especially the ones related to his own Patron had a certain kind of appea—

Martin groaned. He realised his thoughts and the meaning behind them. Without thinking of the others, Martin slammed the paper he was currently reading on the desk and stormed into the little kitchen of the basement. He was not going to switch over to the Eye. He belonged to the One Alone! He would neither give the Institute nor Bouchard the satisfaction of him liking it here!

The Head of the Institute had called him to his office again the other day. It was just the first workday after Martin had gotten into an argument with his dad. Bouchard had looked at him with a taunting smile.

“I see that you have settled well into the Archives,” he had praised the Archival Assistant with glee. “You’re doing a good job. It’s also good to see how you are making friends. Your ... ‘One Alone’ surely won’t get jealous about that, won’t it? You are still doing your best to serve it. But tell me, haven’t you started to resent it for it takes and never gives?”

Bouchard’s eyes had been glowing and boring into his employee when he asked that question – and Martin had known that he was right. That Martin started liking it here. But he would not let the Watcher have that satisfaction. Even if it meant he had to fight through all the time he was here. Even if it meant he shouldn’t get any closer to his colleagues ...

“Martin?” Sasha peeked through the door with a little frown. “Are you alright?”

“What? Oh, um, yes!” he quickly scrambled for a lie. “I ... I just thought I left my tea here but it looks like I haven’t even made it yet ...”

The frown on Sasha’s face got deeper. Martin knew she was clever enough to look through his lies. But she also had the decency not to point it out when it was very important for him that the others believed him. This time, when he just did his best to smile softly at her, she nodded and withdrew again.

When the door closed, Martin let out a long sigh. This really was not good. He appreciated her and Tim too much. Jon, too, whenever his boss was ready to shed that prickly exterior again.

It was not like Martin could leave, anyway. Not after how his conversation with Peter went. He had to make it through these few years.

He turned around to actually make himself a new cup of tea. Just when he reached out to the kettle, he saw a spider sit next to it.

It was just there, looking straight at him, not moving. Of course, there was no facial expression or anything at all on the spider, but Martin couldn’t shake the feeling that it was laughing at him.

“Don’t,” he hissed as he made his tea with a bit more force than normally. “Just ... don’t.”

He became quiet for a moment as the water started boiling. When the spider was still staring at him, he glared at it again. “Seriously, stop spying on me. Or on anyone in the Archive. It’s not ... I’m not even asking for a favour. Leave or I’ll throw you into the Lonely.”

It was not an empty threat as he had done it lately whenever he noticed someone was skulking around the Institute, trying to get a look at the new Archivist.

The spider seemed to know that as well because it finally left after those words.

With another sigh Martin leaned against the counter, watching the steam rise from the kettle. He knew it was not a good idea to get on the Web’s bad side. It might come back to bite him. But being here at the Institute just irritated him so very deeply. He really didn’t know whether he’d be able to stay here until the end of his contract.

Chapter Text

Peter absent-mindedly stroked along The Captain’s whole body as he sat in his large wing chair.

It was unusual for the cat to follow him off the ship on the days the Tundra was docked. It was even more unusual that Peter returned to Moorland House on his days on land ever since his son had moved out.

But maybe that was exactly why he had done it.

Martin’s words still echoed in Peter’s mind.

His son was right. Was the bet truly more important to him than his son’s well-being?

Why did he even send Martin away? He had wanted to keep Martin safe. After that one incident, Peter hadn’t wanted to see his son near the Tundra anymore. But that also became the reason why he had left Martin alone so often.

It was never his intention to make the boy feel abandoned. He had just deemed it safer for Martin to be here, within the family, where everyone believed the same thing and worked towards the same thing. No enemies, no surprises, nothing. Yet, when he replayed his son’s words in his head, he had to question everything.

Had he been building a wall by keeping Martin so far away from him?

He still remembered the way Martin would look at him whenever he returned to Moorland House. The bright eyes filled with anticipation. The warm hugs always readily offered to pull Peter in from the outside world.

Maybe that was why he had returned to Moorland House this time. Maybe he had been unconsciously searching for Martin’s approval again.

But Martin was not here, and Peter might have destroyed their relationship with his careless words.

Peter watched the door as if he was hoping that Martin would be standing there.

It reminded him of a fond memory despite it having been so long ago and he had been half-asleep: The day he had noticed his little son standing in the door, feeling lonely and scared, not able to sleep. Peter had taken Martin in, this time into his bed to provide warmth and safety. Something the father and the son had kept doing long into Martin’s teenage years. Thinking about it, Peter had been defying the One Alone in his own ways since then.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory. Whenever he thought of that moment, his mind would also conjure a big teddy bear to that image of Martin. A big one, just as big as the boy was back then. Peter would see Martin in the doorframe, dragging the plush toy along as it was too big to be lifted by his son.

Now, for that, Peter was sure that his mind was playing tricks on him as none of the Lukas ever had a plush toy. It would have counted as a companion, as escaping the fact that they were alone. Thus, Martin never had that toy and yet when Peter was reminiscing, the teddy bear seemed like to be a perfect companion for his little boy. All completed with a captain’s head and a scarf around the neck.

Maybe he should buy one for Martin now. Martin had outgrown the age for teddy bears, but maybe it was a good companion for him in his apartment in London.

As Peter’s whole body rumbled with quiet giddy laughter, The Captain meowed indignantly. The cat woke from its nap and turned in Peter’s lap, as if to remind him that it was still around. Only when Peter stopped laughing and resumed the petting, The Captain settled again and closed its eyes contently.

“Sorry,” Peter murmured softly, as he ran his finger through the ginger fur.

He should actually tell his son that he was sorry. When did he ever ask what Martin truly wanted?

When Evan left the house and Martin became the Lukas heir, that had been Nathaniel’s decision. Just like how it had been Nathaniel’s choice what Martin should study and which path he should follow. Then, Martin’s first job was a joint decision between Peter and his cousin, pushing the young man into the Magnus Institute.

None of that had ever been anything that Martin had wanted.

Thinking about all his talks with his son, Peter surmised that Martin would have studied literature. He knew for a fact that Martin would have rather worked on the Tundra, something Peter had done his best to prevent.

It was all his fault.

He had never listened to anything that Martin had wanted. Despite the fact that he had always frowned upon how Nathaniel had treated Evan, he just noticed now that he was not better at all.

Yes, he should change that. He could really start with a gift.

Carefully, he put his hand beneath The Captain and lifted the cat up. “Sorry, but I think we already need to return to the ship. But it’s not like it’s warmer here than on the Tundra, is it?”

The Captain meowed again. Peter wasn’t quite sure whether it was in protest or not but since the cat wasn’t trying to wiggle away when he put it on his shoulder, it felt like it was alright.

“Well then.”

Peter pushed himself from the wing chair and walked towards the door. Just when he reached it, he noticed the wisps of fog under the door. With a little sigh, Peter lifted a hand to scratch The Captain behind its ears before he stepped out of the room.

Nathaniel was standing in the hallway, a thoughtful frown between his brows.

Looking just past his cousin to show his attention but without maintaining eye contact, Peter simply waited.

The crease between Nathaniel’s brows got deeper after a few more seconds. For the first time, it looked like the head of the Lukas family was struggling for words. It took a moment until he asked stiffly: “How is Martin doing?”

“It’s,” Peter thought for a second, “complicated.”

“How so?”

“I ... made him mad. He’s doing fine, though. At least, physically? He’s not very happy about his work.”

A joyless smile was on Nathaniel’s lips. He nodded, barely visibly, as if he wanted to say, “Thought so.” But it stayed silent. Instead, he clasped his hands behind his back and said in a business-like manner: “The Forsaken is losing its grasp on Martin. You have two choices, Peter. Either you get him back to the family, or you cut ties with him like I did with Evan.”

Peter turned to look straight at the other man. He considered his cousin curiously for a moment. There was something unexpected in the way Nathaniel had put it. While he had tried to keep his voice cold and unaffected, the suggestion was almost gentle.

The head of the Lukas family loved Martin in his own way. To suggest disowning him was not done out of malice. It was out of compassion.

On the rare days Peter and Nathaniel had a drink together, Peter would always be reminded that despite everything Martin was not born a Lukas. If anything ever got too much for him, Peter should let go and let the boy go back to a life away from the Dread Powers.

Peter wasn’t quite sure whether that would even work at all anymore after so many years.

But hearing the words from Nathaniel this time made him wonder whether the man had chased his own son Evan away with the same sentiment or not. But then Nathaniel would be a sentimental fool to do so, because letting Evan leave from the family was cursing his own son to a cruel fate as that boy had been born a Lukas.

Whatever the answer was for Nathaniel, Peter had his. He had decided. Thus, he looked to his cousin and shook his head.

“No. I will find another way. It is not your decision how this family will continue, neither is it mine. It’s Martin’s.”

That was all he had to say to the head of the family. With a short nod, he walked past Nathaniel to leave Moorland House. He had never been one to explain anything. But he knew he didn’t have to explain, either. What Nathaniel had said had not been more than some advice.

But this time, Peter knew that it was not the right one. Because he would not abandon Martin like that. Not as long as his son didn’t want it as well.

And if Martin wanted to continue being the heir of the Lukas family, it was a decision Nathaniel would have to accept as well.

Martin knew he had gone too far when even Tim and Sasha avoided him and threw him cautious glances.

Quite possibly, it was because he told them to just burn the statements the other day when they asked him where to file some of those they had been reading. Martin’s only excuse for that one was that that morning he accidentally arrived at the same time as Elias. The Head of the Institute’s smug smile always infuriated the man these days.

Or it might be the other occasion on which he told them to not go follow-up on a statement they were currently investigating. If they did, then they should kill whatever they found in the mentioned apartment. While his advice had been drastic, it at least had kept them from running into some danger. So, Martin didn’t feel too bad about it.

Or it was because he became very snappy and didn’t explain much whenever they had a statement about the Lonely before he took it away from them. After the last encounter, Martin couldn’t help but fear it was another statement about him. He couldn’t help but be afraid that his colleagues found out what his true nature was. And it irritated him to no end that he knew Elias was feeding exactly on that fear.

What Martin did feel bad about was his situation with Jon. Ever since then, the Head Archivist had gotten off his high horse. Not too terribly much, but he did make efforts to talk normally to Martin again. Martin had noticed that.

Yet, he was still too wrapped up in his argument with his dad to fully appreciate the casual tone Jon was trying. It made everything in the Archive even more awkward, and for that Martin did feel bad.

Hence, Tim and Sasha had begun to become wary of him as well. It did sting but Martin did his best to ignore it. He told himself that it was better that they neither got attached to him nor he to them. He would leave this place at some point after all. If they didn’t talk to him too much, it would help him tune in with the One Alone again, too.

Still, Martin couldn’t shake the feeling that the two of them were planning something. Maybe Jon was even a part of it, too. Sometimes, the three of them would whisper to each other but shut up the moment Martin turned up.

At some point the man was also pretty sure he had seen his personal file on Jon’s desk. All he could hope was that he wasn’t in any kind of work-related trouble.

He didn’t even know what would happen if Jon decided to fire him. His contract was with Elias and it got its blessing from Nathaniel. Was Jon even allowed to dismiss him? He could imagine how the Head of the Institute would use that as a reason to cancel the whole contract. Martin would not mind stopping to work here, but he really didn’t want to know how his uncle would react to that.

The truce or partnership or whatever they had between the Lonely and the Eye was something that Martin enjoyed since he could let his guard down at least for a little bit in the face of another Fear.

Even if he knew that Elias was pulling strings. It wasn’t as bad as whatever scheme the Web was spinning.

Thinking about Annabelle, Martin let out a long sigh. He hadn’t heard from her for a while and he didn’t know whether that was something good or bad. He doubted that she would let him off the hook that easily for shooing all the spiders within the Archive away.

There was some shifting in the corner of his eye and Martin looked up from the papers in front of him.

Sasha had the decency to look away quickly, while Tim kept on staring at him. His sigh must have gotten their attention.

Still, it did not warrant such staring, did it? Martin frowned as he thought about it. Or did he have anything on his face?

The moment he did that, Tim also quickly scrambled to look busy again.

Martin’s frown deepened even more. Was he really scowling that much? He had seen Nathaniel striking fear into people just with a look. He had seen Jon commanding diligence with a frown.

Martin wouldn’t have described himself with that power. But seeing the others’ reactions, he did wonder what his effect on them was. He did spend a long time by his uncle’s side after all.

The morning passed and apart from some small banter between Tim and Sasha and the occasional phone call, it was quiet in the Archive.

Still, Martin noticed the slight unrest amongst his colleagues.

Sasha checked her watch more often than normally. Her being distracted from the work at all was actually already surprising. If she was immersed in her work, she was almost as bad as Jon at keeping an eye on the time.

Tim kept on walking out of their area to get himself some coffee. While he normally used the kitchen with the others, the one time Martin went to get himself a tea, he saw Tim coming back from upstairs.

“Oh, heeeey!” was that man’s overly cheery greeting, followed by a quick excuse: “Thought I could use some exercise by running the stairs up and down for a bit.”

Martin had only raised an eyebrow and didn’t comment on it. He wasn’t Tim’s boss, after all. A while ago, the three of them would also be slacking together when Jon wasn’t looking. It had only changed recently, after some of Martin’s curt answers regarding the statements on his bad days.

Realizing that made the man feel a pang of guilt. He really should be keeping his emotions in check. He didn’t want to lose his friends like that. The way they avoided him almost hurt.

Lonely, Martin quickly reminded himself when he caught his thought. He was feeling lonely from the distance between himself and his colleagues – and that should be a good thing.

But even Jon seemed restless on this day. He left his office a lot, as well. One time it was because he needed a statement from somewhere else. Another time he needed a new tape for the tape recorder. Yet another time, he simply asked Sasha for a pen.

The way his colleagues permanently moved around made Martin feel quite uneasy himself.

It felt like something was coming that he was not prepared for.

When the door to the Archive opened, Martin barely registered it. He had gotten used to Tim coming and going the whole time that he didn’t think much of it. He only knew that it was someone else because both Tim’s and Sasha’s chairs scraped on the floor as they jumped up to greet.

Still, somehow Jon beat them to it. Before they properly said hello, the Head Archivist had already left his office and strode towards the door.

“Good day. Thank you for coming in,” he began. His voice was business-like and serious. “Miss Herne was it, correct?”

Martin almost snapped his neck when he turned around to look to the entrance.

The long hair and shy smile were unmistakable.

“Naomi?!”

His chair almost fell over when Martin jumped up as well and walked over to the woman he already saw as family. “Why are you here?! Please don’t tell me, you have a statement!”

It took everything he had to not grab her by her shoulders and shake her. Did she had an encounter with any of the Fear? Was it the Lonely itself? Was it because she was so close to his family?

For a moment, Naomi was taken aback by his forcefulness, her eyes darting between him and his colleagues. But then she took a breath and smiled at the others. “Well, if you excuse me then, as we have arranged, I’ll steal Martin away to a cup of tea.”

“Wait, what?”

Martin stopped and turned around to his co-workers. He saw Tim grinning widely at Naomi and giving her a thumbs-up, all while Sasha was nodding enthusiastically.

“Martin.” Jon looked at him with his serious face. The Head Archivist lifted his hand. He flexed it for a moment and seemed to think the better of it. He dropped his hand again as if he didn’t know where to put it and continued talking: “Consider this as the preliminary stage of an intervention.”

Martin felt his mouth go dry. “Why?”

Before Jon could answer, Sasha piped in, a line of worry on her forehead: “You haven’t been doing anything other than work lately. You don’t go out, you don’t meet with anyone, and I doubt you’re calling anyone after work.”

With an incredulous look, Martin stared at his colleague. “You have been spying on me?”

“Keeping an eye out,” Jon corrected him. “We just wanted to make sure we weren’t butting in uncalled. But what Sasha and Tim have reported, this seemed necessary.”

Trying to protest, Martin opened his mouth. But a stern look from his boss made him close his mouth.

“You have gotten more and more irritable lately. Some of it has been ... justified, I know that. But some are not quite what I want to see at our workplace. So, we have wanted to talk to your family first and when we couldn’t contact your ... cousin – was it? – Miss Herne stepped up to talk to you.”

“What do you mean you can’t contact Evan?” Martin asked Jon but turned around to look at Naomi. He felt his stomach drop but before he could spiral into worry, the woman quickly linked her arms with his and smiled at him reassuringly.

“Let’s step out first and take our time to talk, won’t we? I saw a lovely coffee shop in front of the Institute.”

For a moment, Martin thought about getting mad at the others. But Jon was right, he had really been irritable lately. Now, Naomi had even taken time out of her day to come talk to him. He should comply for now.

So, in the end, he nodded and let himself be led outside by the arm. Both he and Naomi turned to look back and for a second, Martin saw a grateful smile flit over Jon’s face.

That shy and genuine smile that he had used to see so often when he was still a librarian and Jon a researcher.

“So, what did they mean by saying ‘when they couldn’t contact Evan’?”

Martin brought Naomi’s coffee and his tea from the counter and set them down on the table. His eyes were trained on the woman as she thanked him quietly.

With a soft smile, Naomi shook her head. “He’s just very busy lately. They have a big project at his company, and he’s been coming home very late – and he’s leaving early, too.” Her sigh was wistful as she thought about her fiancé. “He’s very tired whenever he comes home and falls asleep quite quickly. Even when we’re still on the couch to watch a movie. That’s how I got the call for him when your boss called.”

Martin couldn’t help but sigh as well. He swirled the cup of tea in his hand. “Well, I sure hope Evan is taking care of his health.”

“He tries. But his work makes him so happy, so I can’t say too much against it.”

“Hm.”

“But what about you? Does your work make you happy?” Naomi quickly turned the topic to the reason why she was here.

The way she looked at Martin made him see how much she had gotten used to him. She wasn’t reserved anymore as she would be whenever there were strangers or just many people in general. Now, she looked straight at him, waiting patiently – almost challenging – for him to answer.

Martin sighed again and took a sip from his tea. He squirmed a bit under Naomi’s gaze before giving in. “I do not dislike it too much?” he eventually said. “Like, the work itself is fine, it’s not too different from the library. It’s just that the big boss, the Head of the Institute has gotten very insufferable ... and ... I got in a fight with my immediate boss.” He saw the surprise on Naomi’s face and immediately added: “He was a prick at that time.”

“Mr Sims was it, wasn’t it? That one?” She waited for a nod as confirmation. “He did sound very polite on the phone. But when I saw him, he also looked very – how do I put it – like a scared animals that lashes out easily?”

Martin almost choked on his tea. He couldn’t help but laugh as he asked: “How did you even get the full picture of him in such a short time?” He put his cup down. A fond smile was on his lips when he traced the rim of his cup. “He’s better now, though. He’s trying to be calmer about things. I think ... I just haven’t given him the time to prove it to me yet.”

“What is it then?” Naomi kept on probing. “You do sometimes have your sour and haughty moods – which is quite the family trait, if I might say so,” she winked at him, “but it’s not like you. What is weighing so much on your mind?”

“...”

“Martin?” Naomi looked at him sternly but not accusing. She was just waiting for him to answer. For a moment, Martin asked himself if that was what a mother was like – should be like.

He quickly shook the thought away. While it was embarrassing to admit it, he knew that Evan’s fiancée wouldn’t let him go if he didn’t do it. In that regard, the two were just too similar. So, Martin finally said it out loud, his voice high-pitched and strained: “I ... got in a fight with my dad?”

For a moment, it looked like Naomi wanted to reach out and tousle his hair. Instead, she just nodded. “Well, that’s something we can work with.”

There was a confident smile on her face, and it immediately drowned out whatever protest was on Martin’s mind. He had been awful to his dad. Well, the captain also had been to him, but as Naomi said, it was something they could work on.

Meekly, he whispered: “Thank you for coming here, Naomi.”

“We’re practically family, Martin,” she replied without missing a beat. Letting the tension in her shoulders fade away, she reached out and grabbed Martin’s hand. It was a warm touch and also made Martin relax when she squeezed his hand. “I know you don’t fully agree with Evan in that regard, but please try to not be too Lonely, alright? You can call us anytime you need anything. Or even when you just want to hang out.”

Martin squeezed her hand back and took in her smile. “Thank you.”

“Not for that! And now, let me text Evan. I’m sure he’ll come up with a solution for his kid cousin!”

Chapter Text

Evan’s solution for Martin was simply forcing him to go talk to Peter. After Naomi had reached her fiancé, Evan immediately called his kid cousin and asked when the Tundra set sail the next time again. As soon as they found out that it would be in two days, Evan ignored all his projects and took a day off and forced Martin to do the same.

While Martin had been welcomed back warmly after his lunch break with Naomi – despite how awkward he felt after everything – he felt even worse asking for a day off.

Yet, Jon readily accepted the request. For a moment, Martin had to force himself not to spiral into the thoughts of how Jon couldn’t wait to get rid of him. But when Jon said: “Go ahead. Breaks are important for one’s mental health, and the job here is not easy,” Martin had to keep himself from smiling while being in the Head Archivist’s office.

It hadn’t sounded so very stiff. As if Jon had just read a book about how to be a good employer. Actually, Martin wouldn’t even put it past Jon to truly do that.

That interaction did ease his worries, though, and when it was time to make his way to the harbour, he somewhat had hope in his heart.

On top of that, he had Evan by his side. There was nothing that could go wrong, was there?

Just before they reached the docks, Martin glanced at his cousin. Evan had his usual suit, even though he wasn’t going to be at work today. He took in his cousin’s exhausted lines around the eyes. He smelled the cigarette as Evan had been smoking non-stop ever since they met up.

While he loved having Evan by his side, Martin couldn’t help but voice his concern: “You’ve already taken me this far, I won’t chicken out anymore. You should rest, since it sounds like you barely have any days off.”

“Ah, nonsense, I’m happy to spend some time with you!” Evan reached out and tousled his kid cousin’s hair. “I’m actually quite mad that Naomi took the first step before me, you know! I’ve promised you I’d always be there for you – and not did I only not notice you had something on your mind, I even overslept your boss’ call!”

“Well, we hadn’t met for a while,” Martin tried to soothe him.

“That doesn’t make it better! No matter whether you are a Lukas or not, it should have made my alarm bells ring that I didn’t hear from you for so long!”

Martin hadn’t thought about it too much since they were both adults now. But with the furrow of Evan’s brows, he remembered their days together at Moorland House. If they hadn’t heard from each other for so long, they would have been terrified and would have searched the whole house for the other.

Easily recognizing what his cousin was thinking, it warmed Martin’s heart. He took a quick step to the side and bumped into Evan with a smile. “Really, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“Easier said than done,” Evan grumbled. But soon, he threw the cigarette down on the ground, and stomped it out. “We should pick up our weekly meetings again.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

The moment Martin stepped in front of the Tundra, he stopped and looked up the ship. She was never intimidating for him, she was home, after all. But when he looked up this time, he just noticed how big she was. It would take a while until they found Peter, right? He still had a moment to sort his thoughts, right?

Obviously, Evan wasn’t thinking the same. When Martin stopped, he nudged his kid cousin to continue. But when that didn’t happen, he walked forward to the ship. Even his broad back that Martin has always looked up to seemed small before the Tundra. But the special charisma that Evan had was different.

He stood there and cleared his throat loudly, commanding attention. For a moment, he was the spitting image of his father.

Seeing that, Martin sometimes lamented the fact that Evan didn’t follow Nathaniel’s footsteps. If Evan had another personality, he would have been perfect, and Martin would have less responsibility. But now he just reveled in the way his cousin stood there, radiating authority.

He didn’t expect that anyone would have heard Evan over the engine of the ship, no matter how empty and thus quiet the harbour had gotten. But a moment later, it got truly quiet.

Martin watched the slight wisps of fog dancing down the gangway of the ship. He readily stepped towards it while reaching out to put a hand on Evan’s back. No matter how calm his cousin has learned to look on the outside, the Lonely was Evan’s biggest weakness. Martin was sure it was the right decision when he saw his dad step down from the ship towards them.

The captain looked at the older of them, his face rigid and devoid of emotions. “Evan,” he acknowledged the man.

“Hello, Peter.”

“What are you doing here? Trying to entice my son again?”

“I just thought I haven’t seen you for so long that I wanted to say my greetings. But you are giving me ideas, dearest uncle. I mean, it was your fault to bet against me.”

“Don’t get cheeky, Evan. I just hadn’t fully considered what my son wanted back then.”

“Well, you still don’t, do you?”

Martin felt his cousin’s tensed body below his hand, while Evan’s face just had that cheerful smile that masked any emotion he felt. At the same time, he saw the fog dancing wildly to their feet, yet never getting too near to the cousins. It told him about an agitated Peter who still cared deeply for the two boys.

For the sake of all of them, this had to end quickly. Martin couldn’t keep on hiding behind Evan’s back. And this was just about him and Peter talking to each other again. They just had to make up.

Taking a deep breath and keeping his hand firmly on his cousin’s back, Martin took a step forward. He looked straight at the captain. “Dad.”

Only when he spoke, Peter’s gaze finally landed on him. Before that, his dad had made sure to look everywhere but at Martin.

Yet now, as they looked at each other, Martin saw the guilt in his dad’s eyes. The urge to talk but not knowing how. Martin couldn’t help but let out a sigh. The captain had never been good at explaining himself. So, Martin started for him: “You know I do not like how you’ve handled everything?”

Peter nodded.

“I wish you would respect whatever I want more. I’m an adult now, too. I love you, I love the family, I love the One Alone. I’m ready to keep on doing what you want of me as long as I get a say in it.”

“I ... you know I’m fine with that, Martin,” Peter slowly started. His voice sounded slightly strangled. “I just ... need to learn how. I would be happy if you showed me how. But ... are you sure? Nathaniel was about to disown you for that ...”

Martin blinked, stunned by those words.

“Oh, you can’t be serious!” Next to him, Evan cursed, bristling with anger. “Does he still have to control everything he can?!”

“No, Evan, wait,” Martin held his cousin back. Still slightly confused by the words, he frowned. “Dad, you just said he ‘was about to’ but he isn’t, is he?”

“Well ... it depends on what other things you decide to do or not to do?”

“Did I – did I wound uncle Nathaniel’s pride?”

The only answer Martin got was a shrug. Seeing that, he started to grin. He nudged his cousin slightly before he threw an arm around Evan’s shoulders. “Uncle Nathaniel’s scared that I’ll abandon the Lonely like a certain someone did!”

Evan rolled his eyes. “You should,” he muttered without much conviction behind it.

“I won’t,” Martin immediately replied. He squeezed his cousin a bit more and looked at Peter at the same time to make his dad feel at peace. “I’m happy with how everything is. Even if I’m not happy that you have chosen my path like this, I will not abandon the One Alone.”

Those words seemed to lift a weight from Peter’s shoulders. The captain exhaled and a certain line of tension left his body.

The fog around them began to recede. Martin could feel his cousin relax as well. He looked over to Evan, thankful that the older man had forced him to come here and talk to his dad, and that Evan held out despite hating being in the Forsaken.

“That’s good,” Peter murmured. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms both around his son and his nephew. His body was cold but when the three men were squished together like that, there was a certain warmth. “That’s good to hear. You can do whatever you want, Martin. You can even leave the Institute, if you want. I’ll help with everything. As long as you stay with the One Alone, I’m fine with anything.”

Martin giggled into the hug. “I promise you that it’s not going to happen. Now, come on, let us go. We’re not little children anymore!” Although he said that, he made no move to get out of the hug. Instead, he even raised his arms to have to other two closer. The hug reminded him of his childhood when Peter’s big, broad arms were the boys’ refuge when needed.

“Good. Leaving would be too dangerous. I mean, Nathaniel and I think you are safe since you weren’t born a Lukas if we disown you, but I don’t want to take any risks with our patron.”

Evan let out a sigh and began softly swatting Peter’s arms away. “Alright, alright. It was nice seeing you again, uncle. But I’ll leave you two to your tearful reunion, then. I still have a bunch of work to do.”

Before Martin had fully comprehended his own thoughts, he had reached out and held his cousin in place. There was no resistance. It was more like Evan gave up on trying to leave. That pushed the feeling that something was wrong even more into Martin and he slowly looked up to his dad.

“What do you mean ‘leaving would be too dangerous’?”

The way Peter looked back at his son was stricken with complicated feelings. He resorted to looking over to Evan.

Right, the captain was not good at explaining.

Thus, Martin also looked over to his cousin.

When Evan avoided returning his gaze, he felt a now familiar irritation rising in him. It took a lot of effort not to shout when he asked: “What are you keeping from me?”

“And when were you going to tell me about that?!” Martin’s shout echoed between the containers of the Tundra. From the corner of his eye, he saw how Peter quickly disappeared to be out of the picture once he had finished explaining, leaving the two men alone in the bridge.

In front of him, he saw how Evan wished he could do the same. Right now, Martin was very glad that his cousin wasn’t aligned with the Lonely. Because like this, he could keep on staring Evan down.

Meanwhile, Evan did his best to avoid his kid cousin’s gaze. He fumbled for a bit with his suit jacket. It was clear that he had thought about taking out a new cigarette for a moment but then remembered that they were inside.

So, he could just squirm around, as he said: “I just didn’t think too much of it. Fatigue is not uncommon in my job, you know that.”

“But you know about the problems that occur if you leave the One Alone for too long! You were born a Lukas; you have been in the attic – you knew!”

“Not really? I mean, there’s a unusually high early death rate for those who have left the family but it doesn’t have to mean much! Maybe it also just felt like ‘too often’ because our family always does those big funerals!”

While he was still very firm in his voice when he replied, the moment Evan ended his sentence, he didn’t look as convinced anymore – especially not when confronted with Martin’s unamused face.

But seeing that his cousin hadn’t intended to keep anything from him in particular, Martin sighed, in the end. “Just ... just promise me you’ll go see a doctor. Get checked. Everything. I worry about you and I don’t want to anything happen to you just because a Fear God decided to.”

A smile dawned on Evan’s face. He nodded, obviously relieved that his kid cousin was letting him go. “I will as soon as I get the chance.”

“Evan!”

“Just kidding. Look, I’ll make an appointment immediately and you can watch, okay?”

The man kept his light-hearted attitude, and Martin could only sigh. He studied the smile on Evan’s face, knowing well how scarily good his cousin was at masking any emotion with a smile. But Martin was quite sure that he was good at reading Evan in return - and for now it was well.

He watched as Evan got his appointment and texted Naomi to make sure her fiancé went to it, just in case. Only after all that was done, he let his cousin go. But not without giving him a tight hug first.

“Also give this hug to Naomi and tell her thanks, too. Really, it was childish not to be able to settle a dispute with my dad - so, thank you for jumping in.”

“Ha, don’t worry, Marto!” Evan immediately replied as he returned the hug. “You’re a lonely bunch, I doubt it would have been easy for you to reach out to each other. That’s why I am here as the family’s black sheep!”

Martin smiled weakly. “Then make sure you stay that for many, many years.”

Then, he watched Evan leave, his cousin ready to still return to work for the day, since his project was calling.

“You know that won’t be enough, do you?”

Martin wasn’t even startled when his dad appeared out of nowhere again. Instead, he just sighed and threw Peter a weary glance.

“I know, dad, I know. I’ll ... I’ll think of something else, too.”

“Sometimes it’s just how it is,” the captain muttered. He stepped to his son and put his hand on Martin’s head.

The man could only sigh once again. He knew that his dad wasn’t trying to discourage him. It was only to set the expectations straight.

Martin also knew that the Fears didn’t easily let anyone go. After working in the Archives, reading the statements, and doing the follow-ups, the archival assistant had seen that the Dread Powers would get their victims sooner or later. There was no way out once one was caught in the web.

“Huh.” Martin leaned against Peter’s solid broad body. “Maybe I do have a way to help.”

“So, you only call for me when you actually need something, yes?”

Annabelle sipped her tea. Despite her accusing tone, she looked relaxed in her chair, even smiling slightly at Martin.

In contrast, Martin pursed his lips as he watched her, trying his best to tune out the rest of the loud café that she had chosen. “Our whole relationship is based on a business relationship. Of course, I will call you if I need a favor.”

“But showing courtesy even beyond that is something I would have expected from a Lukas! Weren’t you well-educated, Martin? Aren’t you a gentleman?”

Although she kept her tone light and said everything in a teasing way, Martin still felt goose bumps crawling up his skin. He had always known that it was not a good idea to make Annabelle Cane his enemy. Now, she was letting him have a taste of what it was like if they were truly on opposite sites.

“I was just keeping the Archives clean,” he murmured defensively.

“Oh, so you do know where you were at fault!” Annabelle exclaimed and pointed with her little teaspoon at him. “My poor little spiders were scared to death because of you!”

“And you’re admitting that you were spying on us right now.”

“Not spying, silly. I just like to know where everyone is and where they’re standing.”

“That doesn’t make it better.” Martin sighed and started drinking his tea as well. He had already accepted any terms Annabelle had given him for meeting up. He even went to a place bustling with life that distracted him more from the conversation than it was helpful. At least the tea here wasn’t bad. But he wasn’t ready to be chastised by the avatar of the Web the whole time.

Since he didn’t bother to hide his discomfort, he could see how it amused Annabelle.

“As you were not being chivalrous, I am going to refuse the favor this time without any punishment.”

Martin sputtered. “That’s bending the rules!”

“Did we ever make up any rules about this?”

Martin had to stop to take a deep breath. Annabelle was his best bet with all the connections she had. He was also sure that she had a business relationship with Evan, so he had thought she would readily help. Now she was showing him how wrong he was.

Her chuckle almost made him snap at her.

“Why are you even coming to me for this kind of problem?”

“‘Why’?! Because—”

“While I do know a lot and am part of one of the ... let’s say ‘stronger’ Fears,” Annabelle continued without letting herself be interrupted, “fighting another Fear head on is something even the Mother is not capable of.”

Martin harrumphed, irritated by the way she was playing with him. Obviously, she knew why he had been calling her and had never asked of him to explain – or even start stating the favor. Still, he let her talk. Annabelle’s way of helping was never straightforward, after all.

“But if you wish to find a way to help your cousin, you do know you have the fountain of knowledge at the tip of your finger, don’t you?”

Martin opened his mouth. He closed his mouth. Annabelle wasn’t wrong. But it was not like he could just walk up to Elias and ask him questions. There were enough opportunities, yes, they still met on a regular basis whenever Martin donned his role as the representative of the Lukas family on board meetings. But it didn’t mean the Head of the Institute would just answer his questions.

A slightly annoyed expression came to Annabelle’s face. She let out a long sigh before she said, clearly having deducted what Martin was thinking: “I’m talking about the Archivist.”

Oh. That’s right. He was working with Jon, after all. That was much easier and Elias couldn’t stop him from talking to his immediate boss. It just didn’t feel like Jon knew anything at all.

Still, it was worth a try, wasn’t it?

He took a breath as he saw what he should do next. “Thank you.”

A smile came to Annabelle’s face. As always, it was a mix between genuine warmth and cold calculation. “I’ve already said too much for someone who had declined giving you a favor. You better consider that with the next favor from me, Martin.”

Martin returned the smile, fully aware of the web she had once again spun. “Sure. Now, as you have wished in the beginning, let’s stop talking about business and enjoy our tea.”

Chapter Text

The revelation Annabelle had given him had felt so natural. It had filled him with confidence for a moment. Martin still was convinced that this was the right way. That if he could get the Eye’s help, Evan would be safe.

But the question was: How could he get the Ceaseless Watcher’s help? Its forte was – of course – Watching, after all.

Martin was also sure that Elias would love to see him suffer. Surely, the Head of the Institute would make some outrageous demand that the Archival Assistant would have to agree to out of desperation.

No. Before the Lukas went to Elias, he would need to have a plan. He would need to know exactly what he wanted instead of some vague “Please save Evan”.

So, as Annabelle had said, his other way was Jon.

But how should he ask his boss about it? Ever since they started working together, Jon had been nothing but a prick to him.

Well, not always.

Martin thought about the last time they met, on Friday, before the weekend. There seemed to have been genuine concern in Jon’s eyes, when his colleagues were calling for Naomi without his knowledge.

If Martin was honest, he still wasn’t happy how they had handled the situation. But it had helped, so he wouldn’t be complaining. It didn’t make the current problem at hand any easier, though.

With another sigh, the man returned to his desk and let himself fall into the seat.

He was still purposefully ignoring Sasha and Tim who had been trying to start a conversation with him ever they had come in. Presumably to ask how his talk with Naomi had been.

Now, they were just watching him scraping together his courage to walk to Jon’s door, just to shake his head and go back to his place, resigned.

If Martin had been a regular avatar of the Lonely, he could have written off his behavior as typical for his kind. But he was the future family head! He hadn’t been dragged to various functions by Nathaniel for nothing!

So, why was it so hard now to just walk up to Jon and ask him for help – or at least for advice?

“Martin?” Sasha finally called out to him when he let out another frustrated sigh.

Martin waved her off without looking at her. If he were able to explain it at all, he wouldn’t be struggling so much right now anyway.

He heard his colleague take a breath. Sasha was ready to start scolding him or at least try to make him talk when the creaking of a door interrupted her.

Only moving his eyes, Martin saw that Jon stood in the door to his office and was looking straight at him. Looking away again, the archival assistant tried to ignore his boss.

“I,” Jon started in a certain tone that Martin can vividly imagine the arched eyebrow, “have been hearing a lot of footsteps today. Is something the matter?”

“Martin has something to tell us.”

“Martin is not talking to us!”

Both Sasha and Tim began to talk at the same time. They stopped and stared at each other as they contradicted themselves.

That only made Jon look more confused. Thus, he looked straight at Martin.

The Archival Assistant could feel the heavy gaze on him. He swallowed. He couldn’t run away. He shouldn’t run away. For his cousin. Just like how Evan had accompanied him to Peter, he now had to face this, too.

So, he swiveled his chair around and looked at his boss. When he did, he also saw Tim and Sasha staring at him.

All their gazes were so ... innocent. They did not know what they truly were working for. If Martin started to tell them, they would start to be afraid – and that would play right into Elias’ hand.

But then again, wouldn’t his colleagues get more scared over time when more and more things happened that they couldn’t explain? They should be able to protect themselves, which they could only do if they knew what was happening.

Fuck Elias and his little games! They weren’t even as intricate - as beautiful as the Spider’s. At least the Archives should not be blind to the Dread Powers anymore. Not them.

And even if it alienated Martin from his colleagues, then so be it. He couldn’t strife to be comfortable if it didn’t help Evan. His cousin was his best friend, and he would definitely be more important than the people Martin hung out with but barely actually knew.

Martin took a deep breath. Then, he looked straight at his colleagues and began to explain: “My cousin, Evan Lukas – as you already know –, is in danger. It’s not any kind of danger, but the kind that you would read about in the statements. And I think, I need your help.”

There was a short pause. Martin looked at the others again, pondering whether it was the right decision.

But as they kept on staring at him in anticipation, and when even Jon turned fully to him, Martin continued. He told them everything. About his family, about the powers, about the Institute, about Elias, everything.

There was a certain fear in them as the employees of the Archives listened to what he had to say.

Martin drank it all in. It was like finally being able to take a breath again after having something heavy rest on him. There was a pang of guilt of feeding on those he considered friends, but Martin had accepted what he was. So, he just enjoyed it for a moment in the silence that ensued after he had finished.

At some point, Jon had sat down on Tim’s desk while the Archival Assistant had leaned back in his chair, staring at nothing in particular. Sasha had been taking some notes but now she was just gnawing on one end of her pencil as her eyes went over her notes again and again.

After the silence went on for too, he began talking again, doing his best to alleviate their worries: “I know I said that Elias might become difficult once you know about all this. But you’re all bright people, so I’m sure you can manage. Please don’t worry—”

“No, Martin,” Tim interrupted him. He had also lifted his hand to make the young man stop. “Now you don’t need to worry about us. You need to worry about your cousin.”

Martin’s mouth opened in surprise. He blinked, before he quickly said: “But you just learned so many new things. I can’t just continue yapping about ...”

“He’s family, isn’t he? Then you need to help him,” Tim replied forcefully. He tore his gaze away from the empty space and looked right at his colleague.

Any words of protest got stuck right in Martin’s throat.

Especially because Sasha was also chiming in: “I think I got the gist now. Basically, the most important thing for an ... ‘avatar’ is to be aligned with their patron. Like us here. Even if we’re not fully endorsed by the Eye, we need to read, we need to know what is happening to other people with the Fears.”

Martin nodded at the summary. He was surprised at how well his colleagues were taking it. He had even confessed that he was the subject of some of the statements – damn the Eye, he hadn’t wanted to tell that much – but it didn’t look like anyone was going to blame him.

They just saw it as a natural part of him, which made him accepted more than he wanted to admit. He had been so afraid of them turning their backs to him.

“As for you Lukas,” Sasha continued, wiggling the pen in her hand, “it is best if you are ... alone. Hm.” She looked up to Martin. Her gaze was doubtful, but she continued anyway: “Evan is engaged, isn’t he? I know it sounds mean but ... what if he broke up with his fiancée?”

Horrified, Martin stared at her. Then, the words did not stop: “What?! No! That would break his heart in other ways! He loves Naomi so much! He wouldn’t want to be parted from her! If they called off their engagement, it would push him back into something he’s always hated! Evan does not belong to the Lonely!”

Sasha looked at him with an open mouth.

Martin had never talked that much at once before. But he could not even entertain the thought. It might possibly help Evan. But it was more likely that he would lose his cousin to the One Alone.

In the stunned silence, he felt his lips quiver. His eyes stung with tears, and he tried to put on a brave face.

That was when Jon slid down from Tim’s desk. He awkwardly stood there in the middle of the room. His gaze was on Martin, when he nervously asked: “Do you ... do you want some tea?”

In the end, Martin had trudged behind Jon into the break room. By the way Tim and Sasha were taken aback by his outburst, he wanted to avoid them as quick as possible. He didn’t know whether it would be better or not with Jon but at least he got out of the room for a bit.

As he stepped into the break room, he automatically moved towards the kettle.

“No,” Jon’s quick shout made Martin flinch. He stopped and turned around to his boss.

Jon returned his gaze with an uncertain look, then he mumbled: “Let me make the tea for you.”

“O... kay?”

With a suspicious glance, Martin stepped aside. He remembered the tea Tim and Sasha made him and it was not good. As for Jon, who didn’t seem to be the type to care much about tea unless Martin brought him some – and even then, it depended on the day –, the Lukas was not sure what to expect.

But when Jon’s look urged him to take a seat, he just suppressed a sigh and sat down. With his back to the wall, he watched his boss making tea by the kettle.

As the Head Archivist turned his back to him, he seemed calmer. With his hands occupied, he seemed to be finally able to think through everything that he had just been told. When the kettle began to whistle, he muttered: “I am not quite sure yet about what you expect me to do. But I will do my best to help.”

Martin lowered his gaze. He had not expected anything else. What had he hoped? That the moment he told Jon, the Head Archivist, would suddenly magically know how to solve the problem? That surely was not how the Eye worked. Even the Forsaken was still surprising Martin after so many years, so he shouldn’t be expecting anything from Jon in this regard.

Still, he whispered a small “Thank you” when the mug was placed in front of him.

Jon sat down opposite to him.

It got quiet as they waited for their tea for a bit. The mug was hot in Martin’s hands. Thinking about Evan, he lifted the cup and took a sip from the tea. His eyes widened in surprise.

“This is good!” he exclaimed and looked excitedly at Jon.

His boss scrunched up his nose and retorted indignantly: “What? What did you expect?”

“Oh, um, nothing? Like, have you ever tried the tea the other two make?”

“Well, excuse me to shatter your expectation that you’re the only one good at making tea. My grandmother at least taught me this.”

Jon’s indignation made Martin laugh. It was freeing after all the tension in the Archives. At least one of his problems were solved. His colleagues all knew who he truly was and they accepted him. He could more or less talk to Jon, like how they used to when he was still in Library.

He had to say, once Evan was safe, too, life would be even good.

His laughter seemed to soften Jon a little bit. The corners of the man’s mouth lifted slightly. He lowered his gaze to drink his own tea.

This time, it was a comforting silence that settled in the break room. The air was filled with the scent of tea. Martin had company but it was a quiet one as both of them were in their own thoughts. There was a certain warmth to the place as the basement of the Magnus Institute also had the boiler room.

For a moment, the Lukas was at peace in such a way, that he could close his eyes.

Jon’s words were so quiet, Martin would have missed them if it wasn’t so silent in the break room: “You said your cousin doesn’t belong to the Lonely. But you do?”

Martin set his jaw. The words had come so unexpected. It felt like a whiplash. As if Jon wasn’t ready to accept who he was.

Seriously. Was this really the time now? He wasn’t going to be interrogated by an Archivist now. So, he curtly replied: “Yes, I do. I grew up in it and it has always protected me. It is a part of me.”

That shut Jon up.

But when Martin looked up, he saw that his boss was staring at him with wide eyes. There was a slightly nervous glance as if he wanted to say something but kept himself from.

Only when Jon was caught like that, he cleared his throat. Bashful, he broke the eye contact. With a hand scratching his neck, he said: “I see. B-but if there is something you ever want to talk about ... I’ll gladly listen. I mean, even if you want to be alone, it doesn’t need to be ... lonely?”

Oh. Martin blinked. That was something he hadn’t expected. Thus, he only managed to croak: “I’ll ... think about it?”

Jon nodded. That seemed to be enough for him. He took another sip from his tea, ready to fall back into the silence, when something seemed to dawn to him.

Martin could watch how the face of his boss lit up. His eyes going wide, then the frown on his forehead.

With a loud thud, the Head Archivist put his mug down and looked straight at the Archival Assistant: “Martin. How come you haven’t been ... looking for anyone anymore ever since you started working here? I mean, you haven’t, have you? You haven’t fed anyone to the Lonely lately, have you?”

The words made Martin pause. Jon was right. He hadn’t sought out any lonely people lately. He also hadn’t brought anyone to the One Alone. He even had to try hard to think of the last time he did. Had it truly been that long?

But why?

Martin began to drum his fingers on the table as he thought. Was it because he was reading the statements? Like second-hand loneliness? But that didn’t feel right. Except for his time on his own at home, he hadn’t properly tasted Loneliness anymore.

It made him curious.

Was there a reason why he was satisfied as he was? He needed to know if it was something he could do to help Evan. He should have observed his daily life recently more closely to see what changes had occurred. But maybe it was not too late to start keeping an eye on it, now ...

Martin blinked, when he noticed, that Jon was watching him closely. His boss was still waiting for an answer from him. He just hadn’t continued inquiring, so that the Archival Assistant had time to think.

But that was when Martin realized what had happened. He groaned softly.

“Is something the matter?” Jon immediately asked with worry.

Martin shook his head. It was a big matter, but nothing they could solve. “It’s because I’m working here. This is the Eye’s territory. And it is starting to get a hold of me ...”

In his head, Martin cursed. Did his dad know? Did Nathaniel know? He doubted they would let him work here and be bound by such a long contract if they had known. They might be able to work with it if he decided to leave the Forsaken, but not if he was forcefully taken by another Dread Power.

Not knowing what Martin was thinking about, Jon raised an eyebrow. “So, you mean, if an avatar, who has already sworn themself to one patron chooses another, they will be freed of their current one?”

“No, it shouldn’t work like that, it’s just ...” Martin didn’t finish his sentence. He was quite sure that the Fears were quite jealous if anyone tried to switch. But if one never truly belonged to one Patron or was not willing to follow ...?

He had heard rumors about one Mike Crew. How he had outrun the Spiral and joined the Vast. Annabelle had mentioned that in passing once but it came back to Martin’s mind.

Would that work ...?

He had always wanted for his cousin to get away from this whole business of Dread Powers and supernatural things in general. But if that wouldn’t work, which other Fear would fit Evan? Martin would be damned if he let his best friend join the Mother. Even if Evan had once taunted Nathaniel that he might since he never got to know his birthmother.

The day was still stuck clearly in Martin’s mind, because it was the day that Evan was expelled from the Lukas family. The first time Martin was truly separated from his best friend.

Thinking back to that conversation, the other option presented itself so easily to Martin: the Eye. The Magnus Institute. In that very same conversation, Evan had also jokingly said that Peter could easily give help him getting a job here.

Talking to Evan was easy. Whenever his cousin wanted to know something, Martin wouldn’t stop telling him. On top of that, Evan was a social butterfly. He knew how to interact with people. He knew how to look trustworthy and make friends. If used correctly, he could be serving the Watcher without bending anything about him.

Of course Evan would hate that he was unconsciously hurting the people around, but it would just happen like how Martin had been unaware that he had made his nurse even lonelier.

Another advantage was if Nathaniel accepted for Evan to be in the Institute instead of Martin, the Archival Assistant would get out of here sooner. Especially if he mentioned how he hadn’t been aligned with the One Alone lately ...

Martin looked back at Jon, only to notice how on edge his boss had been the whole time.

But Jon had had the decency not interrupt his thoughts, although it was clear to see that he had so many questions to ask.

That was why Martin at him. A thankful smile for all the help and all the patience that he had needed. “You ... have helped me more than you might be realizing.”

“I ... did?”

“Yes.”

“So, you know what to do now?”

“I do,” Martin confirmed. He nodded as he emptied his tea mug. “I need to talk to Evan first. And then to Elias.”

The mention of Elias made Jon flinch. He seemed unsure to let Martin do that.

Trying to guess what was making Jon so uncertain, the smile on Martin’s lips grow bigger. He looked his boss right in the eye, as he reassured him: “It’s going to be alright. I am a Lukas. I can handle someone like Elias.”

Chapter Text

“This is so dumb. It won’t work, will it? I really don’t like this, Marto ...”

It had been a whole week since Martin had told the Archives crew the truth about the Dread Powers and his identity. Ever since then, Elias had always looked at him with an annoyed look whenever they crossed paths. But then the Lukas would always just shroud himself in fog and ignore the Head of the Magnus Institute.

It had taken a week to get everyone on board with his idea. He even had to drive back to Moorland House on the weekend to talk about the matter with Nathaniel himself.

While the head of the Lukas family had distanced himself from his son, he was still visibly uneasy at the thought of the Ceaseless Watcher claiming Evan. But as Martin had suspected, his uncle had been less inclined to lose him as his heir. Thus, it had become the priority to get Martin out of his contract.

At least Nathaniel had made it sound like that on the surface, but the heir of the family was sure, that the man was still worried about his son deep down.

“No chickening out, Evan. You have already agreed,” Martin returned quietly, as he used his hand on his cousin’s back to push the man forward.

On the other side of Evan, Naomi was walking along with the two men, holding her fiancé’s hand tightly. But unlike her husband-to-be, it was not to ease her nervousness, but to drag him along.

Martin admired his future relative. She was even more nervous at first when she heard about the plan. Yet, when she heard that it might be the only way to save Evan and what other fate would await him, she was ready to give it a shot.

So now, it was only Evan left, who had doubts. Even if the doubts weren’t about him: “I know but what if it goes wrong? What if Elias ... I don’t know, stares you to death? What if he knows too much about you? You’re more Lonely-aligned than I am, Marto ...”

Martin couldn’t help but laugh at the words. “Are you even hearing, what you’re saying? If Elias did that, he would be in deep deep trouble with dad and uncle. He wouldn’t dare.”

“Don’t be so sure ...”

“Okay, even if he dared. The moment he tries anything funny, I’ll stop him, alright?”

Although Martin’s words were so certain, Evan could only sigh in exasperation. He was more worried about his kid cousin than himself.

Martin only grinned and stopped paying attention to Evan. In the arm that he was not keeping on his cousin’s back, he held a teddy bear. It was a cute big one, complete with a sailor’s hat and scarf.

Just before they left for the Institute today, Peter had been standing in front of Martin’s apartment door. Of course, the captain would not help him against Elias Bouchard. But at least he was morally supporting his son.

“Take him with you, he’ll protect you,” Peter had mumbled and shoved the teddy bear in Martin’s arms.

Martin could only stare at the big stuffed animal in surprise. It was something he definitely would have wished to have when he was younger and alone in the Moorland House. It still filled him with warmth, although the gift was many years late.

“I’ll call you, when we’re done,” he had promised his father, who had sent him off with a smile.

The captain of the Tundra truly was not good with relationships, but for Martin it was enough. Just knowing that his dad wished the best for him was all he could want. If everything went well now, he would also be able to spend more time with Peter again. Martin fully intended on sailing with the crew once he was out of the Institute.

Together with Evan, they brought Naomi to the coffee shop across the Magnus Institute. Neither Martin nor Evan wanted her to accompany them inside the building. Not if they were going to confront its Head.

Martin watched his cousin giving his fiancée a kiss. “We’ll be right back.”

“Yes, you’ll be alright,” Naomi replied softly, looking at Evan lovingly.

That made Martin grin, as he handed his teddy bear to the woman. “Take care of him for me, will you? If you can think of a name while you wait for us, please do.”

While Peter said that the stuffed toy would keep him safe, he knew that he could take care of himself. This was for Evan because from the corner of his eye, he could see his cousin relax when Naomi took the teddy bear.

Martin needed Evan without any doubts and anything that could soothe Evan’s mind would be used.

“Well then.” Martin clapped on Evan’s back and they made their way over to the Magnus Institute.

Martin had known to make an appointment with Elias. Rosie was a formidable opponent when it came to keeping the schedule of her boss well organized. But since he had dealt with the Head of the Institute for a while now, he knew exactly how to get to Elias without a problem.

With all the formalities out of the way, the two Lukas stood in front of Elias Bouchard, who looked at them with a disdainful smile. “Well, if these aren’t the sons of my esteemed business partners,” he began with a sneer, “ah, wait, one son. The other has been disinherited, hasn’t he?”

There was a meaningful look between the Head of the Institute and Evan. Martin remembered the one time his cousin had come in to talk to Elias as a Lukas, despite the fact that he had already been disowned by Nathaniel at that time.

But Elias didn’t give them time to retort as he looked over at his employee: “So, do tell me, why you’re here with an unaffiliated person, Martin. I saw the appointment and thought it was an internal problem that you want to discuss. The leaking of confidential data to people who are not cleared for that knowledge, for example?”

It was clear that the Head of the Institute did not appreciate the fact that the employees of the Archives were aware of what the statements truly meant now. They all were wary but not scared of them anymore. They had the words to talk about the statements now.

Martin did not regret that one bit. In fact, the past week was much more fun to work with Tim and Sasha than it ever had been before. Even Jon had calmed down much by now and was actually talking to his Archival Assistant instead of berating for things that were not even worth mentioning.

Thus, he just looked straight back at Elias and replied: “No, I’m here because of something else that will also change Evan into someone affiliated with the Magnus Institute.”

There was the lightest twitch on Elias’s face. But he still kept his composure as he cooed: “And what would that be, Martin?”

“Simple. Re-write my contract and put Evan Lukas’ name in my stead.”

“Do you think it is that easy?” Elias cocked an eyebrow. “If you want out of the contract, that is easy enough. You just need to pay the fine for breaking the contract. But I won’t write another name instead of yours in it.”

Martin stared at the Head of the Institute with a grim expression. He had known that it wouldn’t be easy to convince him. He had just hoped he wouldn’t need to force Elias.

He could feel Evan shift behind him. There was a little bit of doubt. The hand that almost touched Martin to stop him.

It was enough for Elias to notice. The man immediately jumped onto that little movement: “See, your cousin doesn’t even want it. There’s no reason for me to change the contract.”

“You will have one, though,” Martin replied. He reached behind him and grabbed Evan’s hand to make sure his cousin would stay with him. “I’m not even asking you. I’m demanding it. And if you don’t comply, I will be a menace.”

For a moment, Martin closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was smiling. The cold, polite smile Nathaniel knew to put on when he was negotiating. The bright smile that Evan always used to mask his anger. Martin had learned from the best – and he was the future head of the Lukas family.

“You fear the End, but don’t you think I can give you the same with the Lonely?” Martin took a deep breath. He could smell it clearly. The smell of the Forsaken. The scent of home. The salty sea and warm, spicy tea. “What ... if I made sure to keep you from returning to the Institute? A Lukas’ word has much weight on the board as you know. What will be left of you then? Who will know who you are? Who will remember you?”

Martin didn’t care whether he could pull Elias fully into the Lonely or not. Being embraced by the fog, he felt powerful enough. As long as he got his point across, it would be enough. He enjoyed not being seen, not seeing anyone.

There was a ripple in the fog. The annoyed blinking of an eye, trying to find its way through the fog.

Martin could only sigh. He needed to be faster.

“Tell me, Elias, isn’t it the same? If no one remembers you anymore, isn’t it like being dead? Isn’t it even worse?”

With another breath, the man tapped into the place where the Fears overlapped. He would have never thought it to be possible. But it was the Head of the Magnus Institute that showed him that one could use both Dread Powers if attuned enough.

So, Martin did his best to show – to let Elias feel what he was talking about. And he showed, how much more potential was in there, to make clear how much of a menace he would be if Elias didn’t let him go.

If the Head of the Institute still wanted someone to fill the spot, Evan would be a better bet because Evan was not as aligned with the One Alone as Martin was.

“Marto ...”

Evan slightly pulled his kid cousin’s arm.

Right. They didn’t want to make Elias fully their enemy.

Thus, Martin pulled back. He watched the Head of the Institute inhale sharply with satisfaction. Obviously, he had gotten through a little bit.

As they had still been standing, Martin now walked towards the desk. He pulled the seat out and sat down without any invitation. Once he was seated, he looked at Elias and cocked his head questioningly.

For a moment, the Eye’s follower stared at him with gritted teeth. Then the man swiveled his chair with a swift motion and put his fingers on the keyboard of his computer.

“Do you really think a simple contract can change the fate of your cousin?” he snarled. It was obvious that Elias had already been aware about everything.

Martin simply shrugged. “Your contract was able to attune someone so deeply ingrained to the Forsaken like me to the Ceaseless Watcher. So, I’m sure you’re able to do that.”

“Still, I would need a very good contract to bind someone who is serving the Web.”

“Hardly ‘serving’.” Evan finally addressed Elias with a huff. “It was more of a plea to the Mother to pull whatever strings needed to get my kid cousin away from the Lonely.”

For a moment, Elias stopped typing. He threw a glance at the older one of the Lukas. “You can’t be so naive to think that she did it out of sheer goodwill.”

“Oh, gods, I’m not that much of a fool. But I don’t mind getting deeply entangled as long as I can keep Martin safe. And that is why we will work out a contract together now, won’t we?”

Now even Martin looked up to his cousin who had stepped behind him. His cousin winked at him which made him pout. Who was protecting whom now?

There was just a hint of a smile on Elias’s lips. He made up for it by being snarky: “Just a fair warning: If you’re not careful, the Web will snatch your precious kid cousin away.”

That only made Evan smile even more. “That’s why I went there first.”

Martin’s ears perked up. He couldn’t help but wonder whether they truly had any choice with the Web. As both of them had already been so enthralled by spiders around Moorland House as boys, maybe it was always going to be both of them involved with the Scheming Spinner.

Elias rolled his eyes. He had been typing while they were talking and now turned fully to the cousins. “I have finished the contract, but you will at least show some decorum and wait until it arrives via mail. Although I might try to get out of the Web first. Else, it might not arrive at all if your Mother gets jealous.”

“Is that all?” Martin rose from his chair.

“If you can make sure your cousin isn’t eaten alive by another Fear? Yes.”

“Good, I can handle that.”

With a confident nod, Martin smiled at his soon former boss. “Thank you for your cooperation. Have a good day, Elias.”

Like that, he walked past Evan and pulled his cousin with him out of the office of the Head of the Institute.

Martin stepped out of the door and let out a long sigh once he had heard the door click behind him.

He barely acknowledged Rosie with a smile before he exchanged a gaze with Evan.

His cousin looked back at him with a hint of nervousness.

But when their eyes meet, a smile slowly came through on their lips. It went much better than everything they had expected. They had gone through a few scenarios before they came here.

With a light punch on Evan’s shoulder, Martin turned to leave the Institute. They could still talk, once they were outside and with Naomi again.

“Oh?”

Martin stopped when he saw Jon fidgeting in the hallway. The Head Archivist had kept his distance properly from Elias’ office. But it was clear that he had been waiting here the whole time.

Evan grinned. He punched Martin back on the shoulder before he expressively shook his pack of cigarettes and walked past them.

The younger one did his best not to roll his eyes. Instead, he stepped over to Jon and raised an eyebrow.

The Head Archivist did not stop fidgeting. In the end, he only rubbed his neck and turned his gaze away. “Did it go well?” he asked.

Martin had been watching the movements with interest. It reminded him of the Jon that he knew. The Researcher that had come by to the Library so often. Not the prick that had become his boss. Thus, his answer turned out in a softer voice than he had intended: “Yes.”

Jon nodded. He mumbled something that might have sounded like he was congratulating his Archival Assistant. What Martin could actually hear was a small: “You will leave the Institute, won’t you?”

The triumph that had begun to swell in Martin’s chest was dampened slightly. He had talked about it a bit with Sasha and Tim, but those had always been theoretically spoken. Only now did he have the true answer: “Yes ... I’m just not made for this place. And my cousin will be here now to do what I was supposed to.”

He had found his peace with what he was doing in the Institute. It wasn’t particularly anything he loved. It even had barely anything to do with what he studied. But he always had had the prospect that he would leave this place one day. So, it had been alright.

Now, however, he felt that he would be missing the people here. It would be ... lonely without the colleagues he had made. Which was not a bad thing. But Martin would still miss them in some way.

Jon seemed to be thinking the same, because after a few more seconds of hesitation, he finally looked at Martin again. As he did, he asked: “Can we ... can we still meet?”

With a slightly open mouth, the Lukas stared at his boss. There were so many things that were inside his head. So many curses from the days Jon treated him like he was incapable of doing any word.

Instead, he just said, almost automatically: “... yes. I would love that. It’s fun hanging out with you as long as you’re not my boss.”

Jon’s lips parted into a relieved smile. Martin stared at it in awe. There he was. Fully like he used to be. The kind researcher who always made Martin smile when he visited the Library.

Martin was not going to ask why Jon had changed so much after taking on the position of Head Archivist. He had a hunch. He would not say that he knew. But it didn’t matter, either. He saw Jonathan Sims as how he was supposed to be again, and that was enough.

And even if Martin left today, he knew that they would meet again.

When Martin left the Institute building, Evan just finished his cigarette. He had stayed on the sidewalk closer to the Institute but as Martin got to his cousin, he saw that Evan had been communicating with Naomi with glances and motions.

Naomi was smiling and when Martin looked at the window she was sitting by, she took the teddy bear she was still holding and waved him with the bear’s arm.

It made Martin smile. He looked with a inquisitive gaze at his cousin, who was still biding his time before going over to fiancée.

As Evan carefully put out the cigarette, he asked: “Elias had mentioned it but I didn’t have the time to ask – how long have you known? You didn’t seem surprised that I was ... ‘serving’ the Web.”

“Eh,” Martin shrugged, “I had a hunch. Maybe since I saw you picked up smoking.”

“And you still played her game?”

“A favor for a favor can come in very handy. I do like our business relationship.” Martin didn’t have to explain any further. They both knew that Martin would have crossed paths with Annabelle sooner or later. It might just truly have been that the favors Annabelle had to do for Evan made life easier for Martin.

“Despite knowing my ties to the Web, you were still looking for other ways to save me?”

“Evan.” Martin huffed and looked at his cousin in annoyance. “Even if you’re working with the Mother, you’re refusing to actually be her avatar. Thus, the Web could have dropped you any time and not save you from the One Alone.” He shook his head. “I needed something more substantial since you’re so set on not being a Lukas or serving any Fear at all. Not with the way you tried so hard to steer me away from the One Alone. Despite my dislike for Elias Bouchard, the Eye is the safest bet for you. You can use it to your favor. And as the Lukas family has ties to the Institute, I also can be near you if needed.”

Evan gave his kid cousin a long look. Then, he just sighed, and said with a sincere smile: “Thanks, Marto.”

“Don’t mention it. Now, I just need to get Annabelle— ah, speak of the devil.” Before Martin could fully finish his sentence, his phone was ringing. The cousins shared a knowing look before Martin picked up.

He hadn’t even said anything when the woman on the other end of the line was already saying: “Do me a favor.”

Martin raised an eyebrow. “You’re opening with a request, Annabelle?”

“Oh, no.” The avatar of the Web was laughing brightly. “But you’re about to ask me for a big one, aren’t you?”

The Lukas sighed. He put his phone on speaker, so his cousin could also hear. “Continue.”

“Do me this favor and, in return, I’ll never ask Evan for any favor again nor will do him any favors.”

The cousins shared a look. That sounded too good to be true. “What would you need from me?” Martin asked carefully. He paid attention to his words that he wasn’t agreeing to anything yet.

“With your money as a Lukas, you can buy a plot of land, right?”

The question stumped the men. Slightly confused, Martin replied: “Uuh ... depends on how big?”

“There is a patch of land at Hilltop Road. Become its landlord and don’t let anyone else touch that plot or the house on it. That’s all, you’ll even get paid back through the rent.”

“... where’s the catch?”

Although Martin couldn’t see her, he could clearly hear Annabelle’s smile. “There is none. I used to live there for a while, and I feel somewhat sentimental towards it. And I’ve heard that the city has plans to demolish the house. I just want to preserve it.”

Martin and Evan tried to communicate with their looks. It didn’t sound like they would have any problem with that. It truly sounded like there were no strings attached. Of course, they did not believe it because it was the Scheming Spinner.

Still, Martin couldn’t find any fault in what Annabelle had spoken. “Huh. Didn’t take you for the sentimental type. But it sounds like something I can do. That’s the favor?”

“Yes.”

Once more, Martin paused to ponder over the favor. But as he told Evan: As long as it kept his cousin safe, he would do everything.

After he promised Annabelle that he would look into it as soon as possible and hung up, Evan immediately asked: “And you believe her being ‘sentimental’ just like that?”

“Of course not. But buying a plot of land sounds harmless enough. And if there’s more to it, there’s not much we can do against the Spinner’s plans, can we? We both have always been too fond of spiders.”

Evan’s smile was as bright as always that it pushed away everything around his kid cousin that was cold. “Touché. Their webs are beautiful, we can’t deny that. Also, Annabelle has yet to betray us. I even dare to say that she wouldn’t do so except it’s something the Mother really wants.”

“Heh, you might be right. And being sons of the Forsaken, having ties to the Spinner, and working for the Beholding ... it should balance out the worst.”

“That’s a pretty hefty gamble, Marto.”

“I do take after my dad?” Martin smiled wryly. “Also, we have each other.”

“Yes, we do. Best friends forever?”

“Best friends forever.”

The promise they had made as children was still between them. For a moment, Martin had the urge to hold out his pinky. It was just the fact that they were in the middle of the sidewalk and still in front of the Magnus Institute that stopped him from doing so.

Instead, he reached out and placed his hand on Evan’s back like he has done so often throughout all the years.

His cousin looked at him with a grin. He began to teas: “Now, who else do we have to thank? Jonathan Sims?”

“Oh, shut up, Evan,” Martin groaned. He would talk about Jon right now. Not if he didn’t know yet what will become of them. “Rather, tell me about you and Naomi? Now that everything is said and done – when are you going to marry her?”

“Ah, right, there’s something I still need to talk to you about.” Evan turned his head and scratched his nose.

Martin immediately tensed. “Oh, by the Fears, what is it now?”

“Oh, nothing too bad, but,” Evan fidgeted around. He avoided his kid cousin’s gaze. There was giddiness in his expression. But also concern.

Was he afraid that Martin would be upset? After everything that had happened? Martin pressed his hand harder on Evan’s back and raised his eyebrows, waiting for his cousin to speak.

Then the question came, Evan’s voice faster than back when he was still a child and confessed that he had done something wrong: “Would you be very mad if I stopped being a Lukas for good?”

Martin paused. He looked at his cousin, his hand firmly where it belonged. Did that question really need an answer?

Martin could see his own smile reflected in Evan’s eyes. “Evan, please. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. For you to not be a Lukas anymore. Evan Herne, hm?” He let the name roll over his tongue like a purr. “Yes, I like that sound very much.”

The words made Martin laugh himself. He pushed his cousin towards the café where Evan’s fiancée was waiting.

“Come on. Let’s start planning your wedding.”