Work Text:
Alma: Dad’s discovered podcasts
Louis: So
So? God, Louis was such a child. He was only 10, but still. Alma liked to think she had been a very mature 10-year-old.
Alma: So dummy what does dad do when he finds a new interest?
Louis: Don’t call me dummy or I’m calling mom
Alma: 🤪
Louis: 📞
Ugh. She kicked at their shared wall and heard an answering thump.
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Alma: Dad’s discovered podcasts
Mom: That’s nice? We’ll be home by 6, did you take the chicken out?
Ugh. Alma trudged to the kitchen.
Alma: Yes
Alma: 😣 mom you know how he gets
Mom: It’s good for your father to have hobbies. Or do you want him to start coaching again?
Hmm. She hadn’t considered that angle. Her father wasn’t a bad soccer coach, but he did spend a lot of time trying to come up with trick plays. His strengths were more with cheering and buying ice cream after.
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Alma: Dad’s discovered podcasts
Doug: Doug says he’s staying out of it.
Alma: MOM
Doug: Also his hands are covered in charcoal.
Doug: Now he’s wondering if your dad would like a guest on to talk about art appreciation.
Alma: 😵
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Alma: Dad’s discovered podcasts
Ed: …
Ed: Sorry, luv.
Alma: Why are you sorry?
Alma: What did you do??
Alma: ED WHAT DID YOU DO
Ed: I might have ordered him a mic. It’ll be here in the morning.
Alma: ED I TRUSTED YOU
She considered facetiming him. Maybe if she really turned on the puppy-dog eyes, he’d intercept the microphone and steer Dad toward something less life-ruining. But they didn’t really work on Ed since he was the one who’d taught her about using the eyes when mom and dad couldn’t be reasoned with.
Alma: My life is over 🥺
Alma: Don’t let him talk about s e x 🤢
Alma: Or pirates
Alma: Or the ‘call of the ocean’ omg what have you done
Alma: Maybe books?
Alma: But like really really boring ones my friends wouldn’t read
Ed: I’ll try luv.
Ed: Still on for SDV tonight?
Alma: I’ll be on after dinner.
He sent a goofy selfie where he looked apologetic but also like he was kinda laughing at her.
Ugh. Nobody understood how dire this was. Maybe dad’s old PA?
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Alma: Dad’s discovered podcasts
Lucius: Oh, you poor thing. Who let this happen? Tell me everything, I’ll see what I can do.