Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Lumine has created a chat 

Lumine has added 65+ users 

Lumine has named the chat “Teyvat Chat”

Jean: Honorary Knight, what is this?

Lumine: A group chat with everyone I know.

Ningguang: Is there a purpose for this?

Lumine: It’s partly because I think certain people should get the chance to meet, plus I get lonely and miss those who’ve I met.

Venti: Aw, you miss me?

Xiao: Worthless. I have no use for a chat like this. 

Kamisato Ayaka: Traveler, you’re always welcomed here. If you’re lonely, come for a visit. 

Lumine: I know, but if I’m in the middle of my travels, or have a mission, it’s not like I can just turn around. 

Lisa: Oh~ My cute Junior and little Collei are here too it seems. This may be nice. 

Jean: Well, I guess it’s not the worst thing to happen, besides this could be handy.

Cyno: It’s nice to speak with you again, Lisa. Hey, do you know why you can’t go to the world’s biggest library?

Tighnari: No.

Lisa:  Why?

Cyno: It’s always booked.

Lisa: lol, nice one Cyno

Collei: Please don’t encourage him. 

Lisa: Aww, it’s my little Collei! 

Collei: H-hello Miss Lisa! It’s nice to talk with you again!

Amber: Collei!! Hi!

Collei: Amber! It’s nice to be able to talk with you!

Amber: It is? I heard you were cured of your Eleazar! You should visit!

Collei: Yes, I feel much better! At some point, I will! 

Tighnari: If you want, we can travel and look into learning about some of the other nations' specialties.

Collei: Really! That sounds so fun! 

Tighnari: Alright, I’ll start to plan. If anyone needs me, please feel free to tag or pm me. 

Amber: Thank you so much! Collei, hopefully we’ll see each other soon. 

Kaeya: My my, look at this. Collei, it’s nice to see you’re doing well. 

Collei: Oh! Sir Kaeya… hahaha I gotta go… later everyone! 

Diluc: And here I thought you were good with kids.

Kaeya: Why excuse me, Master Diluc, isn’t Klee the one who called you “The weird grown up?” 

Albedo: Leave my sister out of your bickering.
Kaeya: Sorry Bedo. Just wanted to point out that Diluc wasn’t good with kids. 

Diluc: Like you are any better.

Jean: Enough you two, take it to DMs if you’d like to continue your bickering. 

Kaeya: Yes ma’am

Diluc: Yes ma’am

Lisa: Whipped lol

Jean: Lisa

Lisa: Yes ma’am

Venti: Oh, Master Diluc~ 

Diluc: No

Venti: A tune for your finest glass of dandelion wine?

Diluc: Pay your tab, then we’ll talk

Venti: How cruel of you, Master Diluc

Venti: I offer to play you one of my amazing songs, and you cruelly reject me.

Zhongli: Hello, what’s this?

Xiao: The traveler made a group chat for everyone due to them being lonely it seems. 

Venti: … boomer

Zhongli: Excuse me?

Venti: You’re excused

Ei: What’s this?

Yae: Back read. 

Ei: How am I supposed to back read? I cannot look at my back.

Venti: ... Ei’s the real boomer her 💀

Yae: Oh, like you’re one to talk. 

Venti: Ehe~

Zhongli: Speaking of the traveler, where are they?

Lumine: Lurking

Zhongli: I mean what region are you currently in?

Lumine: Sumeru. I’m currently in the middle of a commission in the desert. I’m just about finished up though. 

Cyno: Which area are you in? We could travel together.

Lumine: As nice as that sounds, I’m sure that you have more important matters to attend to. 

Nahida: Hello everyone! Traveler! I saw you’ve been lonely, you can always come find me and I’d be happy to talk with you. 

Lumine: Thanks, Nahida.

Childe: Girlie, you can always come to see me 😉

Lumine: Our weekly fights are enough for me, thank you.

Childe: No need to be so cruel, girlie~

Xiao: Disgusting

Razor: Benny need help. He fell from tree, got hit by lightning. Stuck between rocks. 

Kaeya: Not again. I’ll be right there

Lisa: I’m coming too, after all I should take care of my student.

Barbara: I’ll come too, it sounds like he may need to be healed

Tighnari: I’m sorry, did he just say AGAIN

Jean: This is a normal occurrence. He’ll be alright, he usually bounces back to his cherry self quickly.

Xingqiu: That’s unlucky… although it would be an interesting story…

Chongyun: No. 

Xiangling: Yes

Chongyun: Don’t encourage him!

Ningguang: My one request to you three: Please do not set fire to the harbor… again. I don't wanna ask Gingersnaps for help again.

Childe: That’s a new one, I’m genuinely impressed

Xiao: Wait… the children were the ones to set fire to the fire? I’m quite disappointed in you three. 

Chongyun: I’m sorry, Adeptus Xiao.

Xingqiu: Don’t be too hard on YunYun. It’s technically Xiangling’s and my fault. We snuck Jeuyun Chili’s into his food and he reacted poorly.

Xiangling: Tattletale

Xiao: You two should know better. 

Childe: Wow, the adeptus is actually talking. Here I thought he was only capable of “useless”, “weak”, and “worthless”. 

Xiao: I didn’t know you were writing an autobiography. 

Lumine: STOP NOT XIAO DRAGGING CHILDE

Wanderer: Deserved

Childe: Do I even know you? 

Wanderer: 🙂

Lumine: No, do not use that emoji. 

Wanderer: Hmph

Nahida: He probably won’t be on unless he senses more Childe slander.

Lumine: So, he’ll be on a lot more. 

Childe: Girly!

Lumine: You make it so easy, ginger locks.

Diluc: You’re Fatui scum. You deserve all the slander you get. 

Collei: Fuck the Fatui. Fuck you for being in the Fatui

Tighnari: COLLEI!

Cyno: COLLEI!

Collei: WHAT? 

Tighnari: Please don’t swear, especially at others. 

Collei: Sorry, Master Tighnari. 

Tighnari: I’m going to go on a patrol with Collei. 

Cyno: I’ll join you two in a bit. I’m sorry I’m not there to help you. 

Diluc: Damn Childe made a child freak out

Ningguang: As much as I don’t like gingersnap, he is actually really good with children. 

Childe: Thanks for the compliment. 

Traveler: Yea, except you made me watch your kid brother when he snuck to Liyue to see you, instead of taking time to be with him. Then you let him roam around a ruin guard warehouse… 

Childe: When you put it like that I sound like the bad guy

Xiao: Cause you are

Zhongli: Enough, the both of you. 

Xiao: Yes sir

Childe: Yes, Mr. Zhongli

Xingqiu: Whipped lol

Kaeya: … Bennett just set a fire trying to cook an egg…

Tighnari: What the fuck

Cyno: What’s got you so scrambled, Nari?

Tighnari: Cyno. No.

Nahida: Good one, Cyno.

Barbara: On my way 

Mona: I’m almost there as well, as this fate was foretold by the stars. 

Lumine: This scholar… 

Childe: Girlie seems to be itching for a fight~

Lumine: Y’know what, keep your ass there.

Childe: But of course, girlie~

Keqing: Ningguang, they’re at the golden house again

Ningguang: Trust me, let them be. It’s the safest place for them to fight. 

Keqing: Understood.

Zhongli: Why did the ground start to shake?

Ganyu: Well Lumine and Childe finished their fight, then decided to go attack the Primo Geovishap and I have never seen it be brought down quicker. 

Tighnari: If I have to patch up the traveler one more time…

Zhongli: Don’t worry, I’m retrieving Childe and Xiao is getting the traveler. 

Ganyu: … They just screamed “Race you to dragonspine” and took off in a full on sprint

Xiao: They cannot outrun me.

Childe: You two are buzzkills. We were having fun. 

Xiao: You were causing a disturbance. 

Lumine: I’m going back to the desert. See you.

Childe: Aww man, and it was just starting to get fun around here again. 

Zhongli: Quiet. 

Childe: Yes sir

Lumine: lol whipped 

Zhongli: traveler. 

Venti: Boomer

Ei: What is this boomer you keep speaking off

Venti: Boomer x2

Yae: Ei, please no. Oh, enough of that, bard.

Venti: … 

Lumine: Oh? Cat got your tongue? 

Venti: Yae scares me ngl

Lumine: Understandable. Have a good day.

Zhongli: 🙂

Venti: No.

Zhongli: 🙂

Venti: Oops, look at the time!

Diluc: I like you 

Zhongli: Thanks, I just like messing with him.

Diluc: Same, he makes it too easy too. 

Rosaria: Wow, Master Diluc making friends? On his own?

Kaeya: Real? Not clickbait? 

Kaeya: I’m so proud

Diluc: Seems like I need to cut you off, you’re already severely intoxicated 

Kaeya: wAIT no! Please don’t do this to me bro. 

Diluc: You definitely have had enough and don’t call me “bro”. 

Jean: I’ll come get Kaeya

Diluc: Thank you

Rosaria: Jean dead ass just hauled Kaeya up like a sack of potatoes. 

Amber: Jean is amazing! 

Cyno: I just saw the traveler speed run with a bunch of Fatui and Eremites chasing after her… 

Cyno: I’mma watch over- and she just finished defeating all of them. 

Diluc: I’m so proud. 

Jean: Diluc, stop condoning violence. 

Diluc: I’m not, I’m condoning the Fatui getting their asses handed to them.

Jean: Diluc, there are children in the chat. 

Diluc: Yes, they should be aware that the Fatui are, in fact, scum.

Lisa: Diluc, sweetie, that’s not what she meant

Childe: Y’know it’s bad when I’m behaving better 

Zhongli: Childe, don’t egg him on. 

Ningguang: He does have a point tho

Lumine: Nahida! Cyno is dragging me to Gandharva Ville, Help!!!

Cyno: She’s injured. I’m dragging her to Tighnari. 

Tighnari: How bad

Cyno: You’ll see

Tighnari: Does she keep pushing herself and getting injured further?

Cyno: Unfortunately 

Tighnari: Thanks for letting me know.

Lumine: Why would you tell him that?

Barbara: Honorary Knight! You have to take better care of yourself! Like I’ve told you before, a small wound can turn into a big issue. 

Tighnari: She’s right, Traveler… plus you’re normally better than this. 

Lumine: Fine, I’ll just teleport us there, it’s better than walking. 

Tighnari: tmw Cyno and the Traveler randomly materialize and terrify your trainee. 

Traveler: I did say I was sorry. I wasn’t aware you two were there.

Amber: Is Collei alright?

Tighnari: Yeah, she was just surprised

Amber: Ah, how’s the traveler?

Tighnari: She’s all patched up and I convinced her to join Cyno, Collei, and I for dinner. 

Lumine: stop not u using proper grammar 

Tighnari: Why wouldn’t I?

Lumine: 💀

Collei: … 

Collei: boomer

Lumine: cyno’s dying laughing 

Lumine: I am genuinely concerned 

Tighnari: I’m more concerned with his humor, he’ll be fine

Nahida: Why? His jokes are like hidden gems!

Tighnari: … I guess some understand his humor.

Cyno: C’mon Nari, you know you love my jokes

Tighnari: I love that you try to make people feel less uneasy about being around you, but that doesn’t mean your jokes are good.

Lumine: lmao imagine getting roasted by your own bbg

Cyno: Traveler. 

Lumine: Cyno’s staring at me like it’s gonna have any effect on me. 

Cyno: Only I’m allowed to call Nari bbg, got it?

Lumine: LMAO 

Lumine: Loud and clear!

Tighnari: Really, Cyno?

Cyno: I thought you liked being called bbg

Lumine: THIS IS AMAZING 

Collei: Please, wait until you hear Tighnari try to flirt, and it going over Cyno’s head at first

Tighnari: Not my own trainee exposing me

Cyno: You alright, bbg?

Tighnari: Not here, Cy

Lumine: No, please, keep going. 

Xiangling: Umm Childe… can you help us?

Ningguang: Please tell me that you did not set fire to the harbor…

Chongyun: No, we were adventuring. I was hunting for demons or ghosts to exercise, Xiangling wanted to go look for new ingredients, and Xingqiu joined us. Childe saw us leaving and joined us because he was heading in the direction we were adventuring in… We ended up running into a stonehide lawachurl and we’re having trouble defeating it. 

Xingqiu: Childe just ran up and Xiao appeared at the same time… they actually are kind of good together… AND CHILDE JUST STARTED TO THROW ARROWS?!? 

Venti: i’m sorry… he was THROWING the arrows?

Yomiya: HE WAS WHAT?!?!

Tighnari: … Do I need to teach you how to shoot a bow?

Amber: How… Why do you THROW the ARROWS?

Venti: Dude… just do an easy form… 

Xiao: Next time, call my name if you are in danger in Liyue. Do not rely on someone like him to help you. 

Chongyun: Thank you, Adeptus Xiao. You have our thanks! 

Childe: I have to head to my mission now. If you get into more trouble, I’ll get there asap.

Xiao: They won’t. They will not need your help.

Xiangling: Umm, we’re going to continue to explore… I still need fresh ingredients and YunYun believes that he’ll find something he can exercise. 

Zhongli: Xiao, you have an eye on them, correct? 

Xiao: Of course. I’ll make sure they return to the harbor safely. 

Zhongli: Thank you!

Amber: Okay… so can we go back to talking about how Childe THROWS his arrows?

Childe: It does more damage than using my bow

Lumine: You only use a bow for fun, it’s literally your worst weapon… and you use it for fun. 

Childe: You flatter me

Xiao: That’s the only thing that’ll flatter you

Lumine: damn, Xiao going for Childes throat today

Xiao: Someone has to. He makes it too easy

Childe: Y’know what? Want to fight?

Lumine: Wait, no, stop. 

Xiao: I will not lower myself to fight a mortal.

Childe: Ah, so you’re scared

Ningguang: Please, enough. Childe, haven’t you already destroyed Liyue enough? Unsealing Osial wasn’t enough?

Childe: Sorry ma’am 

Childe: Her girlie?

Lumine: Bring it.

Tighnari: Really? No, I’m putting her on bed rest for a week. She needs rest. 

Lumine: I’m fine 

Cyno: She’s not, she also had an infected cut she didn’t take care of that she got a week ago. I honestly don’t know how she survived it, it was bad. 

 Lumine: This is just a flesh wound

Tighnari: A flesh wound that was severely infected that would have made you sick if it wasn’t taken care of

Nahida: Traveler, please rest. You deserve it and need it.

Lumine: I don’t have time to rest. 

Collei: I know how you feel, but if you’re injured, you need to rest.

Lumine: I need to find my sibling

Venti: How can you find your sibling when you’re injured, tired, and sick? 

Lumine: I’ll manage

Zhongli: I know you believe that you have been through worse, but you still need your rest.

Lumine: I’ll rest when I find my sibling. 

Xiao: Traveler, please. 

Lumine: … fine

Childe: oh~

Lisa: Oh~

Venti: I’d usually join in, but right now we need to let the traveler rest. Xiao, thank you for your help in this matter.

Tighnari: She just fell asleep. Collei’s curled up next to her asleep too. 

Lisa: Aww my cuties 

Kaeya: I wonder if I can tease them about it later

Jean: Kaeya!

Kaeya: Back to work for me!

Diluc: Then why are you in my tavern… again?

Kaeya: Work. 

Kazuha: How is our dear traveler on this fine morning?

Tighnari: She’s doing much better, she’s still sleeping but I’m not sure how long she’ll stay still and stay in Gandharva Ville.

Zhongli: Hmm, perhaps some tea will help.

Zhongli: Where did everyone else go?

Chapter Text

Childe: Girlie, wanna join the Fatui?

Lumine: not interested

Diluc: None of that propaganda here, scum

Lumine: unless

Venti: Traveler

Zhongli: Traveler

Ei: Traveler

Nahida: Traveler

Wanderer: Traveler

Tighnari: Traveler

Cyno: Traveler

Collei: Traveler

Yae: Traveler

Lumine: Listen, the only one who has actually been helpful enough to help me find out anything about my brother is some random guy I met in Mondstadt before I left to Inazuma, Nahida and one other person through sources I will not name

Childe: Well, we do understand the importance of family in the Fatui

Diluc: Be gone, thot

Tighnari: I just saw a bard in green randomly appear with a gust of wind, take the traveler and leave in the same matter.

Diluc: That would be Venti 

Diluc: And they’re in my manor… 

Lumine: Jean! Venti kidnapped me!

Jean: Good

Lumine: -_- 

Childe: I should say this was mostly a prank

Lumine: Yeah, but still

Lumine: It’s an interesting proposition 

Childe: Yeah, but even so I wouldn’t let you join lmao

Childe: I will be looking into information for you as I can and letting you know what I know

Lumine: I appreciate you

Xiao: I bet that he knows shit but ain’t telling you

Lumine: He ain’t like that

Xiao: Whatever 

Zhongli: Childe, I’d like to have a word with you 🙂

Childe: hELP

Xiao: Suffer

Childe: Lumi, Xiao is being mean to me

Lumine: I mean…

Lumine: Deserved

Ningguang: What is happening 

Beidou: Entertainment 

Kazuha: Captain please, I believe the timing is not appropriate. 

Beidou: Hush son, this is entertainment at its finest 

Ningguang: Beidou… 

Xingqiu: I just saw Childe begging to Zhongli on his hands and knees

Lumine: LMAO 

Lumine: Please tell me you got photos

Hu Tao: I did

Xiao: I require one

Hu Tao: Of course, I have several for you

Venti: The traveler is mine now. I adopted her. Childe isn’t allowed anywhere near her

Albedo: Has anyone seen Klee? 

Jean: What do you mean “Has anyone seen Klee?”

Jean: Kaeya weren’t you supposed to be watching her today?

Diluc: He’s currently at the tavern. I do not see the child with him.

Albedo: Sir Kaeya, I’d like to have a few words with you once we find Klee

Kaeya: I don’t know how it’s possible for me to be in the tavern? I’m at windrise with our precious Spark Knight as we speak. 

Venti: Can confirm. I’m chilling by the symbol of Mondstadt's hero and I see them both strolling and taking care of the Hilichurl camps.

Albedo: Fuck. Master Diluc, do not let that Kaeya leave.

Lumine: Whopperflower arc, but Kaeya edition?

Albedo: We’ll see

Rosaria: I just walked into the tavern and the fake Kaeya is bound in a corner. What’s really weird is that it has an eyepatch, but it’s over the left eye, the shirt is fully buttoned up and he actually isn’t annoying Master Diluc like the real Kaeya does.

Kaeya: Hmm… This’ll be interesting

Albedo: How interesting

Wanderer: Unlike Childe

Childe: What did I do to you?

Wanderer: Exist

Xiao: 👀

Lumine: I mean… you tried to drown out an entire country… 

Childe: It was my job. 

Collei: Sucks to suck lol

Tighnari: COLLEI

Tighnari: Who’s teaching her this stuff? Cyno?

Cyno: It’s not me, I normally just try to teach her jokes

Collei: Yeah, except your sense of humor is dryer than the desert

Tighnari: I- I can’t 

Cyno: I can’t even be mad at her, even I’m laughing

Collei: 👼

Wanderer: Why do you eat so many apples btw?

Collei: An apple a day keeps the Doctor away.

Wanderer: … Gimme some

Collei: I mean, you’re eating one right now. 

Diluc: … Are you talking about Il Dottore?

Collei: DON’T YOU DARE MENTION HIS NAME

Wanderer: HOW DARE YOU UTTER THAT VULGAR NAME IN CHILDREN’S PRESENCE 

Diluc: … I literally went on a hunt through Snezhnaya because of him killing my father…

Childe: THAT WAS YOU

Diluc: /HJ

Childe: … 

Wanderer: Anyone who died just wasn’t strong enough. 

Childe: Dude WTF

Wanderer: No one cares about your opinion 

Lumine: I went back to Gandharva Ville and I am watching as the Wanderer and Collei eat a feast of apples… HOW are they not full?

Tighnari: Shit, not again

Cyno: Again?

Lumine: LMAO, Tighnari literally just ripped the apples outta their hands and grabbed the remainder of them. 

Cyno: … It’s just apples man

Tighnari: Until Collei eats so much she gets sick, then gets terrorized that someone is gonna come for her then tries to eat more apples.

Lumine: Hey Collei? I have this apple scented perfume… It helps keep the Doctor away and it’s so light of a scent that it shouldn’t affect Tighnari’s sensitive senses. 

Tighnari: It really is light. Good idea, traveler

Cyno: Is Collei a cat now?

Tighnari: Cyno what the hell?

Cyno: She’s using purrfume… 

Tighnari: Out. That was bad, even for you.

Collei: TMW your boyfriend kicks you out because you have a bad sense of humor… couldn’t be Cyno. 

Tighnari: Collei!

Collei: I didn’t say anything false or wrong in that sentence, besides everyone knew you two were dating. 

Dehya: It was kind of obvious… 

Alhaithem: It was the logical conclusion 

Zhongli: Congratulations on your relationship

Nahida: We could have a party to celebrate?

Tighnari: No

Cyno: No, thank you though

Lumine: Heh gay

Tighnari: Hey bard, mind bringing my patient back?

Venti: Sure!

Lumine: Wai-

Tighnari: Thank you. 

Lumine: I’m really fine

Tighnari: Mhm, sure. 

Cyno: I’m heading to Gandharva Ville, so don’t think of running away. 

Lumine: Fineeee

Zhongli: Traveler, you should try this tea I’m fond of, it helps with exhaustion and such

Tighnari: What kind of tea is it?

Zhongli: It’s made from Qingxin flowers, Sunsettia, and Sweet Flowers. 

Tighnari: Interesting… 

Lumine: I think a mint tea would be better

Tighnari: Mint soothes… maybe replacing the Sunsettia with Mint may be better for your pallet…

Venti: A mint flavored alcohol would also be nice… hey Master Diluc

Diluc: Hmm

Kaeya: Oh? 

Collei: What about mint coffee?

Tighnari: You’re too young for coffee

Cyno: Hehe…

Tighnari: … 

Tighnari: We’ll talk about this later Cyno

Cyno: Will we?

Amber: Collei!

Collei: Amber!!

Venti: Venti!

Wanderer: Where’s the Childe slander?

Childe: Oh COME ON

Zhongli: L

Chapter Text

Childe: What is your problem with me?

Xiao: Would you like the list in alphabetical order?

Wanderer: You wanna hear a joke?

Childe: Sure

Wanderer: Look in the mirror. 

Lumine: He can’t. Each time he tries, it shatters. Even his reflection gets rippled in the water

Collei: It’s cuz he’s a Fatui Harbinger. 

Childe: Listen

Wanderer: Nahhh

Cyno: WHERE IS SHE

Lumine: Cyno? What’s wrong?

Tighnari: We were leaving Mondstadt and Collei ran off

Cyno: @ Collei Where did you go?

Collei: Chill

Cyno: I WILL NOT 

Cyno: WHERE ARE YOU

Collei: Teyvat

Tighnari: Collei.

Collei: Uhh… hahaha 

Tighnari: Seriously… where are you

Collei 🙂

Tighnari: This child… 

Amber: Collei are you alright? Are you lost?

Collei: Ehe…

Cyno: I- Collei, what’s around you?

Collei: There’s a Statue of the Seven…

Amber: What else…? 

Collei: Umm there’s a tree? It gives off some refreshing energy… 

Venti: I know right, although not many can feel the energy it emits 

Collei: WHAT THE FUCK

Collei: Cyno literally essentially appeared in front of me. Startled the shit outta me. 

Tighnari: Both of you, wait there. Collei, no swearing. 

Collei: Cyno won’t let go of my hand… 

Cyno: Cuz you keep running off. You almost ran into a camp of hilichurls. 

Collei: I’ll be fine. I can take care of them easily. 

Tighnari: While I don’t doubt my trainee’s abilities, I’d prefer to not have to bandage either of you up. Collei listen to Cyno and stop wandering off. We need to get back to Gandharva Ville. 

Collei: Yes, Master Tighnari

Sucrose: You all really are protective of each other… 

Amber: So Tighnari just caught up to those two and grabbed Collei’s other hand… It’ so cute

Amber: @ Cyno @ Tighnari I’m adopting and stealing Collei.

Cyno: Nope

Tighnari: I almost throttled Faruzan for trying to steal her as a student…

Cyno: She’s at it again? 

Tighnari: I wouldn’t worry about it… 

Itto: HELLO!!!!
Shinobu: Oh no

Sara: No

Sara: WHO gave him a phone?!?!

Heizou: Hmm, what a mystery

Sara: Heizou…

Heizou: 😉

Shinobu: My apologies in advance 

Itto: Now that I’m here, we can really get this party started

Collei: Master Tighnari let go of my hand so I can talk to you guys.

Itto: Why hello little lady

Collei: Uhh sorry, Master said I shouldn’t talk to weird strangers

Heizou: Harsh lol

Tighnari: Who is Itto?

Itto: 😲 

Itto: Man, I’m so awesome 

Itto: How do you not know about me?

Tighnari: … 

Shinobu: Sorry about that, everyone! I took his phone away for now. 

Sara: Thank you

Kamisato Ayato: Itto is harmless. He is interesting and can come off intense, but he means no harm. 

Tighnari: Hmm… 

Collei: 🙂

Cyno: Nari… 

Tighnari: Collei… Not again… 

Tighnari: It’s about to rain

Collei: Both of you are fucking blind

Cyno: COLLEI

Tighnari: COLLEI

Collei: Turn around

Cyno: Oh… 

Tighnari: How did I not hear you

Collei: Oh, I’ve learned ✨things✨

Tighnari: Seems so, especially with that new mouth of yours

Nahida: I wonder… 

Lumine: Uh… Oh… Yeah that makes sense

Wanderer: 😛 

Xiao: It’s Childe’s fault

Wanderer: Agreed

Collei: Sounds about right

Cyno: Childe, we are going to have a problem

Childe: I literally didn’t do anything 

Ningguang: You forgot to add the “yet” to the end of that sentence 

Childe: Oh shut up

Cyno: I better not see your ass in Sumeru

Zhongli: That won’t be hard

Zhongli: He has no ass

Ningguang: Zhongli… There's a child present. 

Tighnari: I took away Collei’s phone before she could read it and deleted those messages.

Tighnari: Ugh I hate the thunder… it’s so loud… 

Cyno: Nari, you should hold onto Collei’s phone for a bit.

Tighnari: No. She uses it to listen to music. I ain’t taking that away from her

Lumine: … OH! Cyno, you should join me before y’all head back to Sumeru.

Childe: I don’t like where this is going

Lumine: Shush

Cyno: Why?

Lumine: Childe and I have weekly fights… 

Cyno: When and Where

Lumine: We can go today and we normally meet up around golden house in Liyue

Cyno: Bet

Collei: I hope he kicks Childe’s ass

Childe: Kid, you don’t even know me.

Collei: Good 🤗🥰

Childe: WHO’S KID IS THIS

Collei: Jokes on you, I’m actually an orphan. 

Collei: Mostly because of the ✨Fatui✨

Childe: … 

Tighnari: Collei… 

Collei: What?

Tighnari: Cyno and I adopted you

Collei: Hasn’t been finalized yet. I can still use that until it’s official. 

Lumine: Collei, ILYSM RN 🤣

Collei: ILY2 🤗

Childe: Oh, she can be cute

Collei: Bitch, shut the fuck up.

Wanderer: No one wants your opinion

Cyno: Collei, please stop swearing… 

Collei: Hmm… 

Tighnari: Collei

Collei: Fineee

Amber: Hey Collei, I thought you didn’t like being touched?

Collei: I don’t lol, but I wanna be able to at least hug my friends. Master and Cyno have been helping me with exposure therapy. 

Tighnari: She is doing good, but we don’t force her until she’s ready. 

Childe: Lumine and Cyno are already here

Childe: TTYL

Cyno: If you’ll be able to text. 

Lumine: Uhh, Cyno looks scary rn

Cyno: Let’s go

Kaedehara Kazuha: Hello Everyone

Beidou: MY BOI

Beidou: You should share some poetry with us!

Kaedehara Kazuha: I would love to, but alas the time is not right

Venti: Poetry?

Xingqiu: Another literature lover?

Kaedehara Kazuha: Pleasure to hear from you two again, perhaps we can exchange our new works with each other.

Lumine: Alright, I love you but gotta do something real quick…

Lumine has changed Kaedehara Kazuha’s Nickname to Kazuha

Lumine has changed Kamisato Ayaka’s Nickname to Ayaka

Lumine has changed Kamisato Ayato’s Nickname to Ayatoe

Lumine has changed Ayatoe’s Nickname to Ayato

Lumine: And fixed

Tighnari: Are you already done with the fight

Lumine: Your “Husband” took over and both of them have engaged in a physical fight instead of a weapon against weapon fight

Tighnari: Of course they did… 

Tighnari: Collei and I are going to try and get to an Inn in Liyue before it starts raining again. That big lummox should hopefully be done with the fight by the time we’re situated. 

Xiao: I’ll ask Verr if she can put aside a room for you at Wangshu. 

Tighnari: That’s quite kind of you. 

Xiao: Your boyfriend is fighting Childe. 

Tighnari: And?

Xiao: You have my respect

Wanderer: Tell Childe to cry louder, Lumine. I want it for my ringtone

Collei: Send it to me, please

Zhongli: If you want him to scream

Hu Tao: Li, please, for my sanity as well as the rest of the chats, do NOT finish what you were gonna send… 

Collei: Zhongli and Childe are lovers though… Why would Zhongli want to make Childe scream

Tighnari: No, we’re not doing this today. Hey grandpa, you’re on thin fucking ice

Zhongli: And here I thought you didn’t want your child to swear… and yet you’re swearing in front of her… 

Collei: Hey, Papa? Look at that flower over there…

Cyno: Aww but why won’t you call me Dad or something… 

Collei: Oops… I meant Master?

Tighnari: Too late, already screenshotted it. SUCK IT, CYNO

Cyno: Yeah, yeah

Collei: 😶

Chapter Text

Yae Miko: My my, it seems like you have all been quite lively lately

Ayato: Why, what a pleasure for you to join us again.

Ei: Hello

Zhongli: Ah yes, hello

Venti: 👀

Nahida: Hello to you all!

Ei: Ah, hello Buer!

Nahida: Ah! Hello Ei!

Nahida: You can just call me Nahida!

Ei: Alright. At some point we should get together and enjoy some desserts!

Nahida: I’d like that.

Lumine 👀

Kazuha: 👀

Wanderer: 👀

Cyno: Eye see…

Tighnari: … 

Collei: … 

Albedo: That’s a good one

Klee: … Master Jean? I’m worried about Mister Albedo… 

Sucrose: Don’t worry too much about Master Albedo, he’s always like this with Mr. Cyno. 

Collei: No wonder he’s been joining my trips to Mondstadt

Tighnari: Like your trip where Cyno found Eula, the Traveler, and the others in the middle of the desert? 

Cyno: It seemed like there was a fish out of water in that situation

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Despite the rumors where I am referred to as a mermaid, I am truly just an ordinary human. 

Raiden Shogun: And yet, a mere Human was able to have a resistance against my Sakoku Decree. Impressive and yet, foolish.

Sangonomiya Kokomi: We have negotiations going on between Watatsumi Island and Kujou Sara of the Tenryou Commission. 

Yae Miko: Now, Ei, this group is supposed to be lighthearted, perhaps some dango milk will help you.

Ei: I could go for something sweet… 

Yae Miko: I’ll bring you the newest light novel as well. 

Ei: That sounds lovely

Venti: Once, there were two stars. They were fated to travel together but at last they were cruelly separated. 

Lumine: This sounds oddly familiar. 

Venti: One of the stars fell and disappeared for over 500 years, while the other had a lonely journey around Teyvat searching for their fellow star.

Lumine: …

Zhongli: … 

Nahida: …

Venti: At the end of the story, they decided to stay together in Teyvat… Wonder what happened next? 

Lumine: What was that?

Venti: Perhaps a new tale that has been foretold by the stars. Worry not my dear traveler, just some of my musing to myself.

Lumine: Right… 

Arataki Itto: I HAVE FOUND A WORTHY ONIKABUTO BEETLE FOR MY NEXT BATTLE

Shinobu Kuki: Well, that’s one way to the change the subject

Ei: Who? What?

Yae Miko: Don’t worry about it, it’s not important. 

Ei: Ah, alright

Lumine: KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE

Ayaka: What?

Xiao: Who?

Lumine 😉

Kaeya: Well, that was interesting… 

Diluc: You’re one to talk

Kaeya: Oh hush, Master Diluc. 

Hu Tao: Why how lively we all are today!

Zhongli: Yes, quite lively. It makes me want to go on a walk throughout the harbor and enjoy the atmosphere. 

Lumine: May I join you? 

Zhongli: Why, of course.

Chapter Text

Wanderer: Why is this even a discussion?

Childe: No, no. You brought it up, you’re seeing this through to the end

Wanderer: What’s the point? Why should I satisfy your needs?

Arlecchino: What’s got Childe’s panties in a twist

Lyney: They’re discussing pizza toppings… 

Childe: Look, all I am saying is that pickle pizza is actually better and isn’t as cursed as pineapple pizza

Wanderer: And that is where you’re wrong. Pineapple pizza is at least suitable when there is ham and bacon, maybe some barbeque sauce on the pizza. There is never an appropriate time for pickle pizza

Lynette: Pickle and fish pizza… 

Lyney: Lynette… No.

Arataki Itto: Why not all three? Pineapple pickle fish pizza… the best of three worlds? Hell, yeah!

Xiao: I think pineapple pizza wins here. 

Xianyun: Don’t you dislike pineapple on your pizza?

Xiao: I dislike Childe more

Childe: Come on, man! Pickle pizza is always tasty.

Xiao: I used to think there was something wrong with you. Now, I know for a fact that there is something wrong with you!

Yelan: Maybe you guys should just fuck already and get rid of your tension… 

Xiao: … 

Childe: …

Collei: Well, that’s one way to kill a chat…

Amber: Collei!

Sucrose: Collei!

Collei: Hey guys! Hopefully I’ll be able to visit you soon!

Hu Tao: Hey! Someone said something about being dead… oh… yeah, Childe that’s nasty. Pineapple pizza is better than pickle pizza on any occasion. 

Collei: Master Tighnari usually makes pizza. Either mushroom or cheese pizza. I’ve never had any other type. 

Tighnari: And it will stay that way. Also, Childe… What is wrong with you? Pineapple pizza is barely accepted if it is even accepted. I think you need some medical assistance.

Cyno: He needs some milk!

Lumine: So, I am 100% a horrible person but… I wanna cosplay something… 

Collei: I’m sure whatever it is, it’ll be awesome!

Lumine: It may involve a long brown wig and a certain animal mask…

Venti: Lumine…

Lumine: Ed-ward? Play? 

Furina: BANNED

Lumine: Don’t hurt Daddy

Nahida: Who’s daddy?

Diluc: Me

Xiao: Me

Beidou: Me

Kazuha: Me

Zhongli: Me

Arlecchino: Me

Yae Miko: Me

Lumine: STOP LMAO

Klee: So you all have kids? Why have I not met them yet?!

Jean: Oh no… oh hell no @ALBEDO YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF THIS

Jean: I am not telling Alice’s kid about this stuff, you can as her oldest relative. 

Sucrose: Mr. Albedo is currently in dragonspine… he has a few experiments he’s working on and won’t have a cell signal for another day at the least.

Lisa: Why did Jean just throw her phone?

Lisa: Nvmd… also not cool Lumine

Lumine: lol

Lumine: Also… pineapple pizza over pickle pizza, and any other pizza over pineapple pizza. Sorry, not sorry.

Childe: Oh, come on, Girlie! You know it’s good.

Lumine: If I ever thought it was good, I’d be worried about being pregnant or severely sick.

Tighnari: Lumine… where are you…

Lumine: Trevat

Tighnari: 🙄 You know what I mean. Get back in the hut

Venti: Wait, Lumine’s been in Sumeru?

Tighnari: Yes, I have been making her rest. She just shoves right through her travels, but doesn’t stop to rest. She’s currently escaped my sight… 

Venti: Let’s be honest… Did you expect anything less?

Tighnari: TBH no.

Lumine: You can both chill, I am just down by the waterfall. It’s calm there.

Tighnari: Fine, but just head back soon. I don’t want you to catch a cold.

Xiangling: What about melon pizza

Zhongli: … not this again… Fuck this

Lumine: 😳

Childe: WHY IS A CHILDE WITH BLACK AND GREEN HAIR CHASING ME WITH A GOLDEN SPEAR!?!?

Lumine: Oh, Xiao is probably blaming you for Zhongli swearing… and I agree.

Chapter Text

Sir Pounce-a-lot: Meow
Rosaria: I see…
Albedo: Ah, it looks like he’s enjoying his time with you guys. Thank you for taking him in, Lumine
Lumine: Meow, meow. Meow!
Venti: Achoo
Lumine: Weak
Venti: You know… I almost want to take back my “May the wind bless your travels”
Xiao: But You Won’t. 🗡️
Venti: I won’t
Yae Miko: Meow~
Lumine: NOPE

Chapter Text

Venti: Look, do whatever you want but Blue cheese is absolutely disgusting

Lumine: I mean, you’re not wrong but any sauce is better than sauceless nuggies. 

Albedo: What about skinless nuggies?

Lumine: …

Venti: …

Tighnari: …

Cyno: It seems your judgment would have been jail, but you enjoy my jokes… so free pass

Childe: Don’t knock it until you try it

Xiao: Of course you like it like that. 

Childe: What’s that supposed to mean?

Xiao: Do I have to spell it out for you?

Wanderer: I would say yes, but he’d need to spell for that

Yomiya: Aren’t you guys being a little too mean?

Lumine: No

Xiao: No

Wanderer: Absolutely not

Cyno: After his agreement with Albedo, he’ll take his judgment instead. 

Lumine: Honey mustard is the best

Tighnari: Anything that isn’t too fragrant or spicy works for me

Sucrose: Sugar

Lumine: … I don’t know if that’s worse or better…

Yae Miko: My… what a rowdy bunch… the best way to enjoy nuggets or any type of chicken is to just eat the bird whole, while they’re not expecting it. 

Ei: Miko… dear…

Kamisato Ayaka: Oh my… 

Heizou: As long as it’s deep fried, it will be good with any sauce.

Jean: … I’m muting this chat

Diluc: You didn’t already? 

Kaeya: No, she likes to read the tea before, during, and after work

Diluc: Interesting… 

Jean: Kaeya! I just like keeping up with current events…

Kaeya: Sure…

Lumine: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chapter Text

Xiao: What is that repulsive smell throughout the inn?

Childe: I believe you meant to say delicious. It’s a cultural dish from Snezhnaya. It’s clear that you have no class.

Xiao: You should know by now that Liyue’s dishes are far superior of yours

Childe: Says the one who only eats almond tofu. I swear, if I didn't know any better, I would say you worship that stinky stuff and not Rex Lapis. 

Xiao: You’re making something out of seafood? That’s disgusting!

Childe: I believe you meant to say healthy

Diona: Get back here you fire rodent!

Kaeya: Fire… rodent…?

Diona: You know, Mr. Gloom and Doom of the Dawn Winey. I don’t get what Donna sees in him. He literally looks like a drowned rat, especially in that dusty coat of his.

Jean: Why is Kaeya wheezing on the floor- Oh… 

Lisa: Is she wrong though?

Diluc: Excuse me?

Yae Miko: I wonder what Sangonomiya Kokomi would taste like as soup.

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Um, hello?

Ei: Yae

Yae Miko: She even brings her own water for the broth. 

Ei: Yae, no. 

Yae Miko: Yae, yes

Diluc: Are we not going to address that Diona called me a drowned rat and a fire rodent?

Kaeya: Is she wrong though?

Lisa: Oh, he's not on the floor dying anymore. Seems a downright shame…

Jean: Shame?

Lisa: Seems an awful waste… 

Kaeya: Please stop trying to kill me off…

Lisa: There's one reason I don't. Who would I make fun of?

Albedo: Hey, um… has anyone seen Klee?

Jean: Oh no…

Tighnari: Why is the forest on fire and a red toddler? 

Albedo: Found her. Sorry, she's my sister. I'll come get her. 

Klee: Oh, a rainbow! 

Xiao: A rainbow?

Klee: Yeah! You must be on the other side! Mr. Leprechaun. 

Xiao: I'm not, but Childe is

Childe: Did you have to?

Klee: Mr. Childe, can I please burn you? 

Xiao: YES

Childe: No?!

Xiao: If only I could set your face on fire… 

Wanderer: If your face was on fire and I had a cup of water, I'd drink it.

Xiangling: If you do burn him, let me try a piece of his burnt face! It might be a good ingredient!

Xingqiu: Xiangling… sweetie no

Zhongli: I have heard that throughout the ancient years many creatures thought of humans as a delicacy. They say that human flesh is delectable. 

Childe: can we stop talking about setting my face on fire and then eating it?!

Wanderer: Does it make you uncomfortable?

Childe: YES

Wanderer: Then no

Cyno: Albedo, come get your menace before Tighnari has a heart attack. 

Cyno: And who let this kid play with fire?!

Cyno: Usually, I'd say something like she's a de light but no, not with this one… I dare say she's no match for anyone. 

Tighnari: Stop it with the jokes… I can't take it today…

Albedo: I’ll be there soon. Thanks for looking after her. I know she’s a handful. Cyno, I always appreciate your jokes.

Chongyun: HELP. Xiangling is trying to set my face on fire!!!

Xiangling: You getting hot and all is interesting plus I want to try it as one of my ingredients.

Chongyun: Uh oh, Xiangling, this is your fault. 

Xingqui: What happened now?

Chongyun: She activated the circle of ruin guards. 

Xiao: Looks like I’m babysitting kids instead of a Childe this time.

Wanderer: Hey you may give him Childe abandonment issues.

Childe: I would be mad but that’s actually stupid clever. 

Wanderer: Is that supposed to be a compliment?

Xiao: No, he’s just admitting that we’re all more clever than him.

Childe:  Excuse me, when did I say that?

Lumine: You don’t need to say it, we just know

Xiao: The traveler is always right

Childe: This is slander!

Yanfei: Can’t be slander if it’s the truth. 

Lumine: The lawyer has spoken!

Kujou Sara: Why do I have a request from Yae Miko to bring Sangonomiya Kokomi in but in a cast iron pot?

Ei: Yae… Sara, please disregard that order.

Kujou Sara: Yeah… I just read the chat. Tbh better her than me.

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Excuse me?

Kujou Sara: I’m a bird, you’re a fish and she’s a Kitsune. 

Sangonomiya Kokomi: I AM A HUMAN

Everyone: You are?

Sangonomiya Kokomi: YES. My priestess attire makes me seem like a fish.

Kirara: Did someone say fish?

Sangonomiya Kokomi: I do not have the energy for this. 

Tighnari: I- Klee set someone on fire… I’m actually okay with this… 

Collei: Same here

Lumine: Who did she set on fire?

Cyno: Kamran

Lumine: Oh. Deserved

Xiao: I cannot believe that after our conversation, you’re still eating that stanky ass dinner.

Childe: Oh, just be quiet.

Chapter Text

Venti: - And that’s why I no longer eat sardines with my toast

Diluc: What in the actual fuck did I just read

Venti: Ehe! 

Lumine: Venti, listen… I love you but no. 

Childe: … Sardines on Pizza

Arlecchino: What is with you and putting everything on pizza

Childe: Pizza on pizza?

Tighnari: Is he on poisonous mushrooms?

Lumine: No, and if he is, it isn’t purposeful. He tries to be a good role model for his siblings… Usually

Cyno: You know, they call me fun-gi? Get it, because I’m fun and a guy?

Collei: Literally no one calls you that. 

Collei: You probably scare more people than the amount of people who have fun with you.

Furina: Wow, this chat is really popping off. 

Tighnari: Collei, come to my hut please. 

Collei: Nah, that’s too much work and effort. 

Nilou:  DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THE ORIGAMI SQUIRRELS?

Lumine: Yes

Navia: Yes

Nilou: Okay, good. 

Tighnari: ...

Cyno: ...

Collei: … yes

Tighnari: Collei, where are you?

Collei: 😏iykyk

Childe: Can I fight them?

Xiao: Oh look, Childe being an obnoxious and trying to pick a fight

Xiao: Imagine if he put that energy into his actual combat skills or used his brain, he’d probably be tolerable

Lumine: Childe is smart… sometimes

Lumine: He was the one who planned Osial’s resurrection. 

Childe: GET THIS MIDGET OFF OF ME

Xiao: You Are Dead.

Zhongli: Stop!

Zhongli: Everybody dance now

Xiao: Sorry, but even you cannot stop me from finding and maiming him.

Lumine: Xiao-

Xiao: Lumine, no

Wanderer: Get his ass!

Collei: I mean- he is part of the Fatui…

Arlecchino: That would also suggest the children of the House of Harth are also-

Lumine: No, this is just more justification for Childe

Cyno: You know… this could be categorized as child(e) abuse.

Tighnari: How old is Childe?

Lumine: Prehistoric

Childe: Excuse me, Girly. That’s you, not me.

Wanderer: Calling a beloved traveler old… and a lady at that. Clearly you were never taught manners.

Childe: She started it

Xiao: And I’m ending it

Yae Miko: Oh my, what lovely screams. I don’t know which lady is making them

Yanfei: Childe.

Yae Miko: 😂

Chapter Text

Venti: Purr

Diona: Says the one allergic to cats

Diluc: Says the one who wants to destroy Mondstadt’s Wine Industry

Kaeya: Says the one who looks like a rat in that dreary dirty old black coat of yours

Jean: Says the one who’s supposed to be work- oh

Kaeya: I’ll take it that you just found the report on your desk?

Lisa: Yes sweetie. She’s reviewing it now

Dr. Baizhu: Why must you all make more work for me? The harbinger Mr. Zhongli had made me treat is fine.

Lumine: So, we can have our weekly fight?

Dr. Baizhu: … You guys are unbelievable… 

Xiao: Can I joi-

Lumine: No

Zhongli: No

Childe: Yes

Dr. Baizhu: No- WHAT DO YOU MEAN YES

Childe: He only defeated me because I wasn’t prepared for it. Next time, he won’t be so lucky.

Xiao: Big talk from a guy that just got his ass whooped. You’re lucky Zhongli interfered when he did, otherwise, there wouldn’t have been anything to patch up. 

Lumine: Childe, it’s best to lick your wounds. Xiao is more powerful than you think, and I can tell by the fact that you’re alive he didn’t use his abilities, likely because you’re human.

Xiao: Tch. I won’t make the same mistake next time. 

Zhongli: Xiao. The danger has passed and Liyue has received funds from Snezhnaya due to the accident. I think I need to take a trip to talk with you.

Xiao: Don’t trouble yourself with this trivial matter. Even if it’s you, it’s my duty to project Liyue from anything that threatens it.

Zhongli: And Childe, as much as a nuisance he is, is not a threat to Liyue. Trust me on this matter.

Xiao: Fine, but if he does one thing wrong, I will make sure it’s his last

Navia: Oho! It looks like it’s a party here! I’d love to have you all in the Spina

Ningguang: The Spina? I’m unfamiliar with such an organization

Neuvillette: They’re an unofficial branch in Fontaine’s government, however they assist in various matters that the Gardes may have difficulties with. They’re extremely helpful.

Ningguang: I see. How interesting

Lynette: Navia is one of the sweetest people you could ever meet and she is the head of the Spina di Rosula. I believe that she became the head at a young age, when her parents passed… 

Venti: Womp womp

Ei: What is actually wrong with you? 

Venti: Yes

Ei: It wasn’t a yes or no answer

Venti: YES

Diluc: Before you ask, no you shouldn’t be worried

Venti: How rude. 

Lumine: How true it is though

Kaeya: I’d be more worried if he went silent. As long as he’s loud, it’s fine

Yelan: Y’know taken out of context-

Yanfei: No

Arataki Itto has been muted by Kujou Sara for 24 hours

Ei: Who?

Kujou Sara: No one to worry yourself with. He’s just-

Kamisato Ayato: Someone who is kind, but isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. He’s harmless

Ei: If he isn’t the sharpest tool, then what is he? And how could a tool be in this chat?

Yae Miko: Ei, sweetie, he’s an Oni. He is harmless but his antics gets him in trouble. He’s slightly dimwitted as well, so he’s easily roped into things.

Kuki Shinobu: Which is why I usually have to clean up after him.

Lumine: Appreciate you!

Venti: Womp Wom-

Venti has been muted by unknown user for 5 minutes

Lumine: Who?

Unknown User: You’ll know soon enough

Lumine: Do we know you?

Xiao: Traveler? Who are you talking to?

Lumine: Does no one else see the Unknown user’s message?

Tighnari: Lumine, I think it’s better to come back to Gandhara Ville and rest before your next journey. 

Xiao: Why don’t I escort you?

Venti: Who in the abyss muted me?!

Zhongli: Ah, no wonder it was truly peaceful

Venti: Wow, I feel so loved

Zhongli: Pleasure, truly

Lumine: THERE IS A DOG

Zhongli: Xiao… maybe you should escort her befor-

Lumine has muted chat indefinitely

Xiao: I’ll head that way and supervise.

Tighnari: Please bring her to Gandhara Ville when she’s done

Zhongli: Perhaps I should meet you all and we’ll enjoy some tea together

Kaeya: Or, Liquor? 

Diluc: No

Rosaria: Well, it probably won’t be the worst thing the traveler has ingested. She’s drank Captain Albedo’s experiments

Albedo: They were safe for consumption. I ensured it before she drank any

Zhongli: It concerns me that she even drank them in the first place

Jean: I- No, fuck this, I’m going to the Angel’s Share. I need a drink

Diluc: I’ll make sure a dandelion wine is ready for you when you get here

Kaeya: Oh? Oh~

Diluc: Whatever thoughts, you’re thinking, stop. 

Kaeya: No, make me

Diluc: You asked

Kaeya: Wai- SHIT

Venti: Hahaha, Diluc is chasing Kaeya around the city of Mondstadt. 

Jean: Does he have his sword out? 

Venti: No, at least not yet

Jean: Then it’s no cause for concern.

Lumine: Sooo, umm… I stumbled into Natlan and… Meet my saurian! 

Xiao: Traveler… 

Lumine: Xiao…

Xiao: You need to rest before continuing- and you jumped right into lava…

Tighnari: …

Xiao: I don’t know whether to be more impressed at her acts of insanity or the fact she’s relatively unscathed.

Xiao: … I- 

Tighnari: She jumped back in didn't she…

Xiao: Yep. 

Xiao: She’s back out but it seems like she realized how to play in the lava…

Zhongli: She’s able to take over Saurians, isn’t she?

Xiao: Yep. And she’s switching out into different ones.

Xiao: I’m going back to Liyue. She knows if there’s trouble to call my name. 

Lumine: Now, that was fun! 

Diluc: Of course out of everyone, you would be the person who’d have FUN playing in literal LAVA. 

Lumine: Rawr lol

Diluc: …

Lumine: I made a mistake

Diluc: Either go back with Xiao to get checked by either Dr. Baizhu, get dropped off in Sumeru to have Tighnari check you over, or I will come get you with Venti and drag your ass to the cathedral.

Lumine: Fine. 

Xiao: She just disappeared 

Tighnari: And she’s here. 

Nahida: Is the traveler alright?

Tighnari: She has some burns on her, but nothing too major. I have her resting for now

Neuvillette: Good, she needs some rest.

Xiao: Now, Childe? Is it time for our rematch?

Childe: Yes

Zhongli: NO

Dr. Baizhu: NO

Lumine: Ooo, I wanna join

Tighnari: I’m going to take your phone

Lumine: No!

Tighnari: and she’s gone. 

Lumine: Shi- XIAO

Xiao:

Chapter Text

Xiao: I cannot- the fucking situations the traveler gets herself into

Cyno: What did she do this time?

Xiao: … Let’s just say I’m keeping an eye on her.

Lumine: I can feel your eyes on me

Xiao: Good.

Lumine: At least I didn't pretend to drown again, although that wasn't my idea tbh

Xiao: Don’t remind me of that

Lumine: Yeah, that part of lantern rite wasn’t my favorite

Ganyu: I did think Paimon’s plan wasn’t the best either… but man for a tiny little thing she can be quite pushy

Paimon: Hey! It was a good idea for what we had at the time.

Lumine: It really wasn’t. I could’ve just called Xiao to ask, or we would have ended up running into Zhongli or Madam Ping to get more information.

Paimon: At least my plan got us there quicker

Xiao: I would rather the traveler call my name. It would have alleviated some of the worries those actions caused for several people.

Paimon: At least Paimon doesn’t come out of thin air and scare Paimon!

Xiao: That sounds like a you problem 

Yae Miko: Have you ever thought about how Ei has literal thunder thighs?

Ei: Miko!

Lumine: I mean, is she wrong? 

Ei: Traveler!

Wriothesley: Seems like someone is thirsty

Neuvillette: Perhaps I can assist. I have plenty of water. 

Furina: Um… I don’t believe that’s the type of thirst he meant…

Neuvillette: Ah, perhaps it’s some Fanta or tea they need

Furina: Suree… Let’s go with that. Anyways I’m going to go make macaroni 

Navia: Why don’t I stop by? We can have some Macaroons together

Furina: I may need to take you up on that! 

Paimon: Food

Lumine: No

Wriothesley has muted Paimon for 24 hours

Lumine: I would say yes, but now I have to hear her screech about it.

Wriothesley: Thank you for your honorable sacrifice.

Lumine: Sure, no problem. Although, you know she’s not that bad. She is my precious emergency food.

Furina: I can hear her screeching from Fontaine!

Lumine: Once I finish making food, she should calm down,

Lyney: What about my food? I would love to try our dear Traveler’s cuisine once more.

Lynette: We’re not near her and we’ve already tried it once. Perhaps you should make a time where you could get together and cook together.

Lumine: I don’t mind cooking but she’s right. 

Arlecchino: A homemade meal for the Children of the Hearth? How kind of you. Perhaps this time you can stay longer. I know the children would appreciate that. 

Lyney: Father! That may be too much for the traveler to take on…

Arlecchino: Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that all of the ingredients are provided for our dear traveler… I’m quite interested in tasting their food as well.

Lumine: I guess that’s alright, after all I’m a decent cook that was able to assist the Wangshu Inn in their time of need.

Beidou: Not to be downer on this but I just found a photo of Lumine. She’s covered in a bunch of purple lines…

Lumine: Ah, that must have been after I fought the Raiden Shogun. I was covered with a bunch of lightning scars. For some reason, I still have a few on my back. 

Ei: I’m sorry to hear about that, usually they do go away after a day or two… perhaps it’s your sensitivity to the elements that is making it stay. 

Yae Miko: Perhaps Watatsumi Island’s Divine Priestess could help? Her healing power is incredibly potent.

Lumine: Kokomi has been an absolute doll and has healed me up several times, and tried her best with this.

Yae Miko: Oh, that’s unfortunate… So, should we talk about Ei’s thunder thighs again?

Ei: Miko...

Chapter Text

Lumine: Okay, but could he shut up?

Kinich: He’s actually behaving right now

Lumine: This is him behaving?

Kinich: Unfortunate isn’t it?

Kaeya: What has our honorary knight worked up? That isn’t like you.

Lumine: Ajaw

Kinich: Ajaw

Mualani: Ajaw

Xilonen: Ajaw

Kaeya: Umm… who?

K’uhul Ajaw has joined the chat

Ajaw: What, you’ve never heard of my greatness? Bow down before the Almighty Dragonlord

Lumine: Archons no, not here too

Venti: .

Zhongli: .

Raiden Shogun: .

Nahida: .

Furina: .

Mavuika: .

Neuvillette: I don’t think the archons can do anything here

Kaeya: Yeah, no, let’s just ignore or mute him

Lumine: Kaeya… you’re my hero right now. Diluc his drinks are on me.

Diluc: I’ll limit him, but sure

Kaeya: How cruel Master Diluc. 

Diluc: I’m merely thinking of our dear traveler.

Kaeya: Fine fine

Lumine has muted K’uhul Ajaw indefinitely

K’uhul Ajaw has been unmuted

Lumine: What?

Lumine has muted K’uhul Ajaw indefinitely 

K’uhul Ajaw has been unmuted

Lumine has muted K’uhul Ajaw indefinitely

K’uhul Ajaw has been unmuted

Xiao: What is happening…

Ajaw: Bwahahaha foolish mortal, you cannot silence me!

Lumine has muted K’uhul Ajaw indefinitely 

Lumine: Okay, I think that did it.

Xilonen: Good, now I can get back to my nap.

Kinich: I'll put Ajaw away so he can't bother us in person either. 

Lumine: Good, I don't need his negativity when I open chests anymore.

Jean: Well, if you need more stable income, you can stay with the Knights. 

Diluc: Or help out my staff and make drinks at the Angel’s Share. 

K'uhul Ajaw has been unmuted

Lumine: NO

Ajaw: YES

Lumine: NO

Ajaw: YES

Kinich: No

Ajaw: No-

K’uhul Ajaw has been removed from the chat

Lumine: Finally

Mualani: Peace 

Kaccina: And

Xilonen: Quiet

Kinich: For you guys and for now.

Diluc: So, are they new friends of yours?

Lumine: Yeah

Kaeya: How interesting. Is our traveler able to control pyro now too?

Lumine: ... 

K’uhul Ajaw has entered the chat

Lumine: ARCHONS DAMN IT

Jean: Not again…

Chapter Text

Ganyu: Isn’t the traveler supposed to be in Natlan?

Xiao: She is

Diluc: Did you miss the chat thread earlier?

Ganyu: No… it’s just I thought… nope now I know she’s here in Liyue

Ningguang: And with a certain harbinger…

Cyno: Are they fighting?

Tighnari: When don’t they fight

Neuvillette: There was that time they didn’t fight in Fontaine, but to be fair that harbinger was sent to the Fortress of Metropide quickly

Xiao: Should I break them up

Mualani: Well… she may try to murder Ajaw again. Childe offered to spar with her to help her steam off

Diluc: And she didn’t invite me

Kaeya: To be fair you’re banned from Snezhnaya for a reason and I’m sure that a friendly spar with Fatui is not in the cards for you.

Diluc: I hate the fact I cannot argue against that

Tighnari: Are they still fighting?

Ganyu: Yup

Diluc: Can you tell who’s winning?

Ganyu: Oh, it’s definitely Lumine.

Ganyu: And now they’re going towards the monsters…

Diluc: I suddenly feel like taking a trip to Liyue…

Kaeya: Sounds fun, when are we going?

Diluc: Now, I kind of want to watch them fight

Lumine: Or, why don’t you join our party? We’re going to go fight the oceanid! 

Lumine: And no offense to Childe but he is kinda useless unless he uses his delusion, so having you and even Kaeya join…

Lumine: Actually, I take back the no offense, I meant full offense. 

Diluc: I don’t mind. 

Kaeya: Me either. We’ll be there soon

Lumine: Yessss

Kinich: Ajaw has been sent away. I took the phone away too.

Lumine: Thank the archons

Chapter Text

Lumine: I need a drink

Diluc: I have grape juice or some Apple Cider Vinegar 

Kaeya: … Diluc, let her have a Cider Lake

Diluc: She’s a minor. 

Kaeya: Yes, but at least she’ll have a set amount instead of being swayed by our dear green clad bard to steal a few bottles

Lumine: I kind of like the raid option right now
Diluc: Did something happen?

Childe: I have fire-water?

Lumine: Bet, where can I meet you?

Childe: You know, the usual

Lumine: Ooo, spar time too?

Diluc: My hatred for the Fatui grows even more

Kaeya: Okay, Mr. Edgy McEdge

Diluc: What the fuck

Chapter Text

Venti: I’m working late~

Diluc: You work?

Lumine: CuZ i’M a SiNgEr

Ayaka: Traveler? I thought you were an adventurer? 

Kaeya: Oh, he looks so cute

Diluc: Not you too…

Childe: Wrapped ‘round my finger

Lumine: … 

Lumine: Nope, Childe ruined it

Childe: How? 

Xiao: Existing

Childe: Come on!

Diluc: What even was that…

Kaeya: No one tell him

Jean: How can he not know?

Lisa: It’s Diluc

Jean: Fair enough

Diluc: Pardon me?

Kaeya: You’re pardoned

Diluc: Kaeya… 

Mualani: Aw, I missed the fun! 

Lumine: No, it’s only fun because you’re here now.

Childe: Uh oh, Lumine stealing hearts again

Lumine: Oh no, I broke Childe, again

Childe: Well, the last time you broke me, I tried to drown Liyue

Xiao: Oh? So we should drown you?

Childe: How did you get that from that?

Xiao: 🙂🔪

Childe: I don’t know which one is scarier, the fact that Xiao used emojis, or the fact that he sent those.

Lumine: Ugh… the fact I almost agreed with Childe…

Diluc: Are you coming down with a fever?

Lumine: Wait, no don’t say that word

Tighnari: Traveler…

Baizhu: Are you feeling unwell?

Barbara: Please take a rest, do you need me to heal you

Diluc: … I apologize for concerning you all. The traveler is in okay health

Tighnari: Are they though?

Lumine: I’ve been able to get rest, thanks to the accommodations that Mavuika prepared for me.

Mavuika: Aw, well you’re a hero across all of Teyvat. Who wouldn’t have accommodations for you?

Diluc: Ah, yes, who wouldn’t have accommodations for our dear traveler?

Lumine: It’s cool, I don’t mind sleeping outdoors or in my teapot.

Diluc: … 

Lumine: Well, I’m going lava surfing and maybe even lava boarding so catch y’all later

Kaeya: Please tell me you’re joking… 

Mualani: Oo! Wait for me! 

Diluc: I don’t think they’re joking… 

Mavuika: It’ll be okay. It’s fun sometimes

Jean: Should you really be promoting this?

Mavuika: If it was anyone else other than the traveler and Mualani, I’d be the first to stop them. 

Tighnari: Traveler, I’m not treating any burns this time

Mualani: At least they’re not swimming in it this time

Tighnari: ‘This time’? 

Kinich: Don’t worry, Mualani’s Sharky will keep them safe

Childe: Okay… what the duck is a sharky?

Childe: Duck*

Childe: I’m not saying duck, I’m saying duck

Wanderer: Sucks to suck

Childe: Do I even know you?

Wanderer: You wish

Childe: ?

Zhongli: Huh, I thought Childe swallowed

Xiao: Oh god

Diluc: Kaeya, give me your phone

Kaeya: Why?

Diluc: I need to burn them after this conversation

Kaeya: And why do you need mine?

Diluc: Because you’ll be on it and I’ll see it while you’re at Angel’s Share.

Kaeya: Why don’t you just set the messages to disappear?

Diluc: You can do that?

Kaeya: I- I swear you and Jean…

Diluc: Finish that sentence… I dare you

Kaeya: … I’m going to the Cat’s Tail

Venti: Ah, my dear Knight, perhaps you’ll reconsider? 

Diluc: Kaeya, if you set my phone up for the messages to disappear, your drinks are on the house.

Kaeya: Okay, boomer.

Diluc: Kaeya, we are essentially the same age.

Kaeya: You’re the one who insisted that you were older.

Diluc: When we were children, and with the way you act? If I didn’t know any better, I would say you’re still a child

Jean: How about we don’t fight here? Kaeya, before you drink remember you’re on Klee duty tomorrow.

Kaeya: Ah, right. 

Kaeya: Guess I’ll only do like 6 glasses tonight

Diluc: No, you’ll have 3

Kaeya: 4

Diluc: 3, or I’ll make it 2

Kaeya: Fine, 3

Jean: Are we in an alternate universe or something?

Lumine: Who knows, maybe I’d be with my brother

Kinich: Maybe Ajaw won’t be annoying

K’uhul Ajaw: I am mighty, not annoying! Bow down to me!

Kinich: Nope, we’re still in ours, or Ajaw is annoying throughout all of them.

Chapter Text

K’uhul Ajaw: I am the Almighty Dragon Lord, K’uhul Ajaw

Ororon: Okay Grannie

Lumine: HAHAHAHA

K’uhul Ajaw: How DARE you call me old

Mualani: If you’re the Almighty Dragon Lord, then you have to be a Grannie

Hu Tao: Oho~ I know someone else who is a Grannie

Zhongli: Director Hu Tao… I can feel your eyes on me

Hu Tao: I’m not wrong. Remember, you have your employee discount if you need it

Zhongli: Thanks for that… kind reminder. I don’t believe I’ll need one just yet.y 

Lumine: Oh god, I love this

Lisa: I have tea~

Lumine: Coming!

Neuvillette: Why not have some refreshing water? Pure water is always the best.

Xilonen: Agree to disagree. I need some flavor in it, like sugar or a squeeze of a lemon

Neuvillette: Blasphemy 

Furina: Speaking of grannies… 

Navia: Should you really be talking?

Furina: Okay, but technically Neuvillette is older than me

Wriothesley: Oh, so he’s an old man?

Hu Tao: JUST BUY THE CASKETS ALREADY

Zhongli: I don’t need any. I’d like to join for tea

Childe: Or, why don’t I take you out for tea

Zhongli: I’d prefer the traveler’s company

Lumine: Hah! Eat shit, Childe

Tighnari: Language

Lumine: English

Tighnari: … 

Cyno: Why does Tighnari seem more disappointed than usual

Grumpy Birdman: Where is Sir Kaeya

Jean: Who are you and why are you asking?

Grumpy Birdman: Kaeya set my phone up… and changed my name.

Jean: Oh… I don’t know where he is.

Diona: The boozehound is at the Cat’s Tail

Kaeya: S i  d o n so d e ut

Jean: How drunk is he?

Diona: Umm… 

Grumpy Birdman: And this is why I told him to go to Angel’s Share… 

Lumine: I would like to point out that ‘The Almighty Dragon Lord K’uhul Ajaw’ has been Silent 

Kinich: I sent him on a timeout. 

Albedo: Why is Master Diluc dragging Kaeya by the ankle?

Grumpy Birdman:  Reasons.

Albedo: Alright. Well, I’ll go check on Klee.

Chapter Text

Lumine: I swear to archons-

Venti: Ehe?

Zhongli: Oh?

Raiden Ei: Hmm?

Nahida: What’s on your mind traveler 

Neuvillette: Well, the only thing close to an archon that we have is myself and Miss Furina

Furina: Count me out please, thank you

Maurika: What can I help with?

Lumine: I was going to say that I’m pretty sure at this point my brother is fucking with me from the abyss

Amber: Oh? Have you found your brother?

Lumine: Eh… sort of…

Amber: Really? Why aren't you excited? You finally found your twin!

Kaeya: Amber…

Jean: Outrider Amber!

Amber: What? Isn't it a good thing? 

Lumine: Guys, chill. Amber, sometimes things get really complicated. I may have found him, but… 

Yumemizuki Mizuki: You’re not together.

Lumine: Yeah… 

Kaeya: I can understand being forcibly separated from your loved ones.

Lumine: I know, and thank you Kaeya. It helps a bit

Kaeya: Anything for our dear traveler

Ayaka: I can second that

Hu Tao: 🎵I’m a Barbie Girl~🎵

Yun Jin: 🎵In the Barbie World!🎵

Shenhe: What is a barbie?

Chongyun: I don’t know, all I know is that it’s a song

Collei: Barbie almost sounds like something fake?

Wanderer: Like Childe’s crit

Childe: I don’t need that to inflict damage

Wanderer: Mhm, sure. That’s why you couldn’t defeat that whale

Arlecchino: Now now, stop teasing the Child

Childe: I’m not a Child.

Diluc: I say let him suffer

Ningguang: I like that idea

Childe: Why do y’all roast me like this?

Shenhe: We could tie you to bamboo and put you over an open pit

Xingling: Ooo…

Lumine: No, we did cannibalism a few chapters ago

Xingling: But… It’s Childe? He doesn’t count

Childe: EXCUSE ME?

Tighnari: Every single time I check this… Y’all need therapy

Lumine: Yeah…

Chapter Text

Lumine: For the love of archons…

Venti: Ehe

Lumine: No

Venti: Fair

Lumine: I feel like fighting… CHILDE

Childe: Bet

Tighnari: NO

Collei: Let me get in on that

Tighnari: No

Cyno: No

Lumine: Yes

Wanderer: I’ll join in too

Xiao: Fucking bet

Childe: Is this gonna be a 4 on 1? Cuz that sounds fun

Cyno: Collei

Tighnari: Too late Lumine kidnapped her

Cyno: I’m joining the dog pile… I don’t know which side I’ll join yet… 

Tighnari: Drag Collei and Lumine back after 

Collei: Oh no, another lecture?! 

Lumine: The horror

Tighnari: One of these days I’m going to make a batch of paralyzing tea…

Cyno: Nari…

Nahida: Sounds interesting… share the recipe with me and please make sure it’s safe enough for anyone you want to try it on

Lumine: Like the Sages

Nahida: They’ve been stripped of their positions already

Lumine: They imprisoned their own archon… imo they can get far worse

Tighnari: I don’t want to but I agree with Lumine here

Lumine: Thank you

Tighnari: I’m still mad at you

Lumine: Womp Womp

Arlecchino: I can and will punish you if needed

Lumine: Yes Daddy

Arlecchino: ...

Lyney: Lumine run

Lynette: Seriously though, run

Cyno: Honestly, I may just watch the fight at this point

Tighnari: Cyno...

Lumine: Sorry, Childe took my phone

Childe: wuh

Arlecchino: You're dead

Chapter Text

Lumine: Imagine being a sore loser

Childe: Imagine being a liar and accusing someone of a fake crime

Xiao: Imagine just being a loser in general

Childe: Imagine permanently being a short person

Wanderer: Imagine shutting the fuck up

Childe: Imagine actually being wanted 

Skirk: Imagine insulting someone with a double edged sword.

Lumine: … Someone get a cryo user! I think the child(e) is going to need it for that burn

Diluc: Or, hear me out, we burn him more

Arlecchino: I agree with this guy

Lumine: Pretty sure you burned him good enough… although I think Xiao’s about to make Tartaglia skewers

Zhongli: When isn’t he?

Ningguang: When you stop him usually

Beidou: I thought you said that you’d stay out of this chat for your sanity?

Ningguang: Who could not be in here when my favorite terrorist is being burnt

Childe: And here I thought you’ve forgiven me

Ningguang:  Eh, more like tolerate you

Lumine: Ouch, that’s gotta sting

Childe: Not as bad as the wounds left from your blade. 

Tighnari: You used Blades?

Collei: Oh no, a fight? With swords? The horror!

Lumine: Wait… Collei being sarcastic?

Wanderer:  It’s not bad

Nahida: Are you rubbing off on her?

Cyno: Why are you letting him near her?

Sucrose: HELP Mr. Albedo ate a spider

Albedo: They’re tasty… 

Tighnari: Are all of you maniacs?

Lumine: Be for real for real, do you expect any less?

Tighnari: Yes, from you

Childe: Oop, looks like you got burnt this time

Lumine: Is it really a burn if it's true, you know, other than you?

Childe: Want to fight?

Tighnari: I’m going to tie you down to a bed

Yae Miko: Kinky

Ei: Is that all you have to contribute to this conversation?

Yae Miko: Ehe

Venti: That’s my line!

Chapter Text

Lumine: Hiiii I’mm drinl 

Diluc: Who the fuck gave her alcohol 

Venti: Ehe~

Venti: Not me

Lumine: I’m like 500 years old

Lumine: My little Soda Pop

Diluc: What the hell? Where are you

Lumine: Where are you?

Diluc: Mondstadt

Lumine: I’m somewhere in heat

Tighnari: What?

Lumine: On the floating land

Maureika: Does she mean an Island?

Bennett: Yeah, don’t worry we’re in a group with her

Amber: That makes me worry more

Bennett: I’ve been having better luck lately!

Oz: That’s quite good, our dear friend. 

Childe: I’ll be your idol

Chasca: And the traveler puked. 

Lumine: Just picturing Childe

Mualani: And they’re puking again.

Kaeya: I guess that’s one way to get the alcohol out of her system.

Albedo: One you know too well

Chapter Text

Venti: - nd then they took the cat’s ashes and 

Jean: I don’t think this is an appropriate topic right now

Amber: No, no. I need to know what happens next

Yelan: Did you know the Traveler is in Nod-Krai?

Tighnari: Oh god… 

Childe: YEAH! We can fight with very little interference or consequences!

Neuvillette: Seems you’re still a trouble maker

Xiao: Does that surprise you?

Neuvillette: No

Lumine: WHO THE FU-

Lumine: YELAN WHY WouLD you tEll them?

Cyno: So we could come find you?

Wanderer: Nah, I’m heading there to check on someone and for a bit of personal… 

Collei” Oh, is it time?

Nahida: Oh god no

Nahida: This is not what I said

Collei: You said to face your problem to heal… 

Wanderer: … It’s better if your problems are gone.

Nahida: BOTH OF YOU COME BACK NOW

Tighnari: When the hell did you sneak out… AND HOW?! I hear EVERYTHING!

Collei: That’s for me to know and you to NEVER find out.

Cyno: … Or we could just use her phone to track her?

Ei: You can track people with these devices now?

Cyno: If you set it up right, then yes

Tighnari: Cyno, please tell me instead of talking you’re tracking those two, right?

Cyno: I would say yes but she figured out how to take it off… I’d say the hat guy probably helped

Wanderer: Eh, I’ll let you think whatever you want

Lumine: WHY IS WANDERER AND COLLEI HERE?

Tighnari: WHAT THE HELL

Tighnari: What about studying for the Akademiya? Your lessons?

Collei: I’ll do that later

Approx. 5 hours later

Lumine: Guys? The Kuuvahki Experimental Design Bureau is on fire…

Diluc: It must be beautiful… too bad I’m banned from Snezchnaya 

Tighnari: HAT GUY if you corrupt Collei I’m coming for your head

Lumine: I don’t think he’s the one doing the corruption… 

Lisa: Oh, is Collei having fun with the Dodoco’s Klee gifted her?

Kaeya: I knew she’d love it

Cyno: … You let a small child near those things?

Tighnari: AND LET HER SHARE THEM?

Collei: Chill. You should make and take a chill pill.

Tighnari: When you get back you’re on house arrest

Collei: Worth it

Yae Miko: You should find an electro user and have them apply some of their elemental energy.

Ei: Miko… is that really appropriate right now?

Flins: That sounds like fun

Lumine: Wait… what if we added some pyro too?

Childe: You’re all lunatics… but if I’m not mistaken… what if you loaded them into one of the Kuuvahki bullets, that way it won’t implode on you

Lumine: Hey, that’s actually smart

Arlecchino: … Sandrone isn’t going to be happy about this

Tighnari: I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS

Chapter Text

Yae Miko: Wasn’t someone talking about ashes

Venti: Nope, no one at all. Absolutely no one.

Amber: Someone was but I don’t remember who.

Xiao: I̶̙̐̄̀̇̉͗̉̇͗́̈̈́͘͝'̴̧̣̖̆́̾͂̌͐̅̄̐͒̎̀̕͝͠ͅĺ̶̛̛͕͉̪͉̯͎̟̟̻̰̔̈́́͑̾͗̑̅͆̌̅̀͑̑̓̅̚͘͠͠l̵͙̝̫͇̲̪͍̼̮̹̘̖̩͕̱͎̺̤̈̅̐̈́̀͊́͆̈́̔̑͂͂̑̋̇̀̕͘͘͘̚͜͝ͅ ̶̡̧̞̣̝̱̙̦͖̞͙͔̯̹̼̗̎̓͑̈͐̑́̚͠b̴̛̥͔̞̪̫͔̣͕͎͎͕͉̥̞̙̗͇̯̜͉̪̗̂̇́̽̀̀̍̅́́̌̏̚͝e̴̡̧̠̗̞̣̜̗̞̞͇̯͖͙͎͖̥̭̪̫̲̦̍́ ̴̢̢̧̨̗͓̝͎͉͙̱͎̗͖̩̫̰̟͕̘̱̽͋̐͒̈̃̽̇̔̆̀̅̓͝͠ͅͅy̶̢̧̧̨̙̜̬͇͕̼͍͍̮̙̱̰̟̩̩͚̥͍̼̑̿̉̂͆̽̋͗̓̀̍̂̿͘̚͝ǫ̵̡̢͚̮̱̺̮̦̻͙̙̖͇̲͇̪͈̲̭̬̞͕̿͒̈́͂͜ų̶̜̳̹̬̻͔̝͓̲̦̙͚͈͓̻̗̠͔͍͆̇̑̐͊̓̀̾̀̂̌̚͠͝r̴̳̲͓̖̔͐̇̔̇̈́̊̂̕͠ ̵̛̹͍̰̥͓͎̯̘̰͕̮̘͌̀̐̌̿́͌̓̓͌̋́̆̚͜͝Ì̵̧̡̛̛͍̠̟͍͕̜̫̭͈̠̃̔̇̔̈́̓͗͛́̃̓͒͊̃̅͝͝͝d̷͙̥̫̀̚ǫ̸̠̟̮̜̹̭͘l̸̛͈͎̎̍̋̾̊̌̀̀́̿̒̽̍̄͑̈́̿͒̈̑͘͝

Zhongli: I ‘m scared

Wanderer: Don’t be scared, just let it take you over. 

Kamisato Ayato: It’s what they want

Thoma: Miss Kamisato? What’s happened?

Kamisato Ayaka: I wish I knew… He’s supposed to be JuSt AyAkA’s

Diluc: Nothing makes sense… and why aren’t the three drunkards here?

Kaeya: Why Brother Diluc, we are paying our dearest respects to our god, Barbatoes at the Cathedral. After all, Alcohol is sinful and distasteful

Diluc: Dear Archons, get the holy water. They’re possessed!

Rosaria: Why Brother Diluc? We’re in the grace of his holiness, Lord Barbados

Barbara: Yeah… something’s wrong with them

Jean: Man, all of this work? Fuck it let’s drink with the company funds!

Lisa: Man, I really need to cover up. This is much too revealing

Lumine: What the hell is going on?

Tighnari: Ooo a pretty kitten! What’s it doing in the wild? 

Kaveh: THAT’S NO PRETTY KITTY!

Tighnari: If not friend, why friend shaped?

Cyno: What the HELL is going on?

Lumine:  I literally just asked that

Venti: I must set an example for my people as the Anemo Archon

Ei: I want to cook

Everyone: ABSOLUTELY NOT

Dahlia: Ah, this was worth the price.

Lumine: THIS WAS YOU

Dahlia: EHE

Venti: HEY THAT’S MY THING!

Diluc: I- WHY ARE YOU- NO!

Kaeya: Brother Diluc, Join us! Become one!

Diluc: I’m going to murder you, Dahlia

Dahlia: OOO! By stabbing, strangulation, poison? Oh how Kinky and Sinful Master Diluc

Diluc: You know what, no. Just no. 

Dahlia: But I said yes

Diluc: No

Dahlia: Yes

Tighnari: Ooo! Sea Puppies!

Cyno: NO!

Kaveh: THAT’S a Spinocrocodile

Private Messages

Collei-> Dahlia

Collei: Thank you for keeping them distracted while we finalize our journey plans. 

Dahlia: No problem. Just make sure they don’t find out you asked

Collei: Oh don’t worry, I’m the anxious little bean who can do very little wrong. The things I can get away with…

Dahlia: Oh? This is peak blackmail material.

Collei: So? Haven’t you forgotten what I have?

Dahlia: Touche

Private Messages

Cyno-> Collei

Cyno: Collei

Cyno: I know you’re there. 

Collei: Yes?

Cyno: Come home while I’m asking. 

Collei: No. I need to do this

Cyno: I didn’t save you so you could throw your life away for a mere moment of vengeance. 

Collei: I need to do this. Don’t try to stop me

Cyno: … 

Private Messages: 

Cyno-> Nahida

Cyno: I accept your mission. I’ll bring Hat Guy and Collei back.

Nahida: Be safe and careful. I want all three of you back alive and well. 

Cyno: Understood

Private Messaged: 

Tighnari-> Collei

Tighnari: If you don’t turn around and leave right now, or wait with the traveler for Cyno to come, I will-

Collei: ?

Tighnari: You'll need to find another teacher.