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They’d had big plans. Or rather, the children had had big plans and Stede hadn’t exactly shot any of them down yet. Doug and Mary were going to be out of town for a whole week and the children had decided that this also meant vacation for them in the form of forcing Stede and Ed to take them anywhere their little hearts desired. They’d mentioned the aquarium, the science museum downtown, even the rickety old amusement park that Ed knew Stede was never going to take them to for safety reasons alone. But they were definitely going to spoil the hell out of them, that was certain.
Stede and Ed’s romance had been a bit of a whirlwind. Like, they’d met and gotten married within a year. All their friends had teased them but when you got to be their age, you knew a good thing when you found it and they were both tired of waiting for what they wanted. And oh, Ed had wanted Stede. He was like an oasis in the desert, the first truly good thing to come into his life and stay. How could he let that get away? So five months after they’d met at that coffee shop, Ed proposed. And four months (and a last minute, surprisingly elaborate wedding) after that, they were married. And Ed had never been happier.
But with all this wining and dining (and other things), he’d never really had a chance to spend an extended amount of time with Stede’s children. He wasn’t scared of them! He was great with kids! But they were Stede’s kids, so now they were kind of his kids and that was a much more worrying situation. Both he and Stede had come from not so great home lives, something they’d bonded over pretty early in their relationship, but Stede had had years to deal with meshing those feelings with becoming a father and Ed had had months. It wasn’t that he didn’t love the kids, it was more that he was worried he’d fuck them up accidentally and he already loved them so much that the thought was terrifying.
“It’s going to be fine,” Stede had tried to convince him in bed the night before the kids were going to be dropped off. “All you have to do is love them and I already know you do. Everything else is just details.”
Which was very easy for him to say, rubbing Ed’s back and being all soft and lovely and perfect . But at least they were facing this together, a united front against the terror of a eight and six year old in vacation mode.
Or at least, they were supposed to be.
“I’m so sorry , love,” Stede apologized again as he stuffed his feet into a pair of immaculate loafers at their entranceway minutes before the kids were supposed to arrive. “I told Lucius not to call me unless it was an emergency but apparently there’s been some sort of delivery mishap and Jim got into a fight with the man in the truck and now they’re in custody and Oluwande’s gone to bail them out and they left Swede in charge while they’re dealing with everything and it’s all some big mess , darling.”
Ed may or may not have growled slightly. Stede laughed. Laughed!
“It will be fine , my love.” Stede shrugged his coat on and leaned forward to press a kiss to Ed’s cheek. “The kids adore you and I’ll be back as soon as everything’s been cleared up. I’m sure it won’t take long.”
“Jim’s in jail , Stede.”
“Not for long!” Stede’s eternal optimism was something Ed loved about him most of the time but right now it was a bit much. “I’ll get this all fixed up in a jiffy and be back before you’ve even missed me.”
Ed found all of this incredibly hard to believe but complaining wasn’t going to change anything so he let Stede give him a kiss goodbye and hustle out the door. He had roughly twenty minutes to fret on his own, cleaning an already clean kitchen and making sure the kids’ beds were made, before the doorbell rang.
“Morning, Ed,” Mary’s bright smile either spoke of her calming influence or her excitement to have a week to herself without the children, it was impossible to tell. Ed gave her a hug as Alma and Louis ran past him into the apartment. “Stede called on his way into town. Hope everything’s alright.”
“As long as the shop’s not burning down, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Ed joked, although with John Feeney on staff, it might not be that much of one. “You two all set for the trip?”
Mary smiled even wider.
“Oh, completely! We’re actually headed to the airport from here. I cannot wait to lay out by the pool and do absolutely nothing for five days. …. And the conference, of course,” she added with a wink.
“Of course,” Ed nodded, smiling. “Don’t worry. We’ll watch over the little monsters, get them back to you in one piece.”
“Two at the most,” Mary laughed.
“It’s a promise.”
And with a couple of quick goodbyes, Mary was out the door. And Ed was alone in the house with Alma and Louis. Who were staring at him from the living room.
“Hey,” Ed began, nerves hitting out of nowhere. Was it sharks or kids that could smell fear?
Louis rushed over and hugged his right leg.
“Hi Ed,” Alma smiled sweetly, maybe too sweetly. “Can we watch Paw Patrol?”
“Paw Patrol!” Louis added from somewhere near his calf.
On the one hand, Ed knew that Mary was trying to limit the kids’ screen time. And he was pretty sure those dogs were cops which he wasn’t a fan of. On the other hand, it was an easy way to score points with the kids without actually having to entertain them and gave him a chance to get his head back in the game while they just happily sat on the couch. Maybe he could even get them something to eat?
“Paw Patrol it is!”
He got the kids situated on the big plush sofa Stede had fallen in love with at first sight when they were furniture shopping a few months ago and paid far too much for. Although, with all the quality cuddling Ed had managed on it in the meantime, maybe it had paid for itself by this point. His genius plan: make pancakes for the kids, surprise them as they watched their show, win big step-dad points. Easy.
Except they were out of pancake mix.
“Damnit,” Ed muttered from the kitchen, quickly darting around, trying to find something else to bribe–er, feed the kids. They’d done some grocery shopping before the kids had come over but Stede had also planned to take them tonight, let them pick out some special treats for the week. With a groan, Ed grabbed the box of Lucky Charms he’d picked up for himself and poured three bowls.
“Lucky Charms!” Alma squealed as he placed the bowl in front of her. “Mom never lets us have sugary cereal!”
“Well, we’ll put the dentist bills on your dad’s card,” Ed tousled her hair as he handed Louis a bowl and sat down on the end of the couch. “Bottom’s up!”
The Lucky Charms was a hit and he was back and forth into the kitchen with a refill for each of them. Louis looked to be just picking the marshmallows out but Ed couldn’t blame him, that’s what he did half the time himself. When they were done, he went and put the bowls in the sink before coming back to join them on the couch.
The plan had been to rest his eyes. Just rest them. He’d closed them for ten minutes at most . But somehow, it was now three hours later and Alma was poking his shoulder.
“Eeeeeeeeddddd,” she pleaded. “Ed, wake up. Play with us~!”
“Play with us!” Louis repeated from his other side, where he’d latched onto Ed’s arm.
Ed was still half asleep (not that he’d been sleeping) and muttered “What do you want to play?”
“Zoo Escape!” Alma cheered.
“And what is Zoo Escape?” Ed asked, patting Louis’s head with his free hand.
“Well, there’s been a break in at the zoo,” Alma began with an intensity that looked so much like her father when he was excited about something that Ed couldn’t help but smile, “and all the animals have escaped. And Lou and I have to go find them.”
“Okay,” Ed nodded. “And what do I do?”
“You’re the zookeeper, of course!” Alma put her hands on her hips, as if she couldn’t believe Ed wasn’t following.
“Of course!” Louis added.
“You have to hide the animals and then you turn off all the lights and we have flashlights and then we have to find them.”
This was getting quite labor intensive. But Stede’s kids were Stede’s kids, alright, and he’d do anything for them. Including telling them to wait in the living room while he went, gathered up the rather obscene amount of stuffed animals that were scattered amongst their two beds in their room, and began depositing them around the place. He hid a lion in the cupboard, a dog in the laundry basket, Alma’s unicorn right by the lightswitch in the bathroom.
Within ten minutes, he’d managed to hide twenty five or so stuffed animals, though why there were so many dogs and cats in a zoo he wasn’t going to question. He went to the hall closet and pulled out two flashlights before closing all the blinds and turning out the lights. He was killing it at this step-dad shit.
“Alma! Louis!” he exclaimed as he ran into the living room, surprising a giggle out of both of them. “You have to help me! The animals!”
“What seems to be the problem, mister?” Alma asked, immediately in character, a mini-Stede from her head to her toes and Ed’s heart ached with love for her.
“I work over at the zoo,” he gasped, as if he were still trying to catch his breath. “And all the animals have escaped! I can’t catch them but when I heard that the Bodacious Bonnet Siblings were in town, I knew I had to ask them for help!”
Louis had lost it at the word ‘bodacious’ but Alma nodded, like of course he’d heard of them.
“Of course, citizen!” she declared, face imperious. “Point us in the right direction and my brother and I shall reclaim all the animals for the zoo!”
Ed armed them each with flashlights and followed behind, still pretending to quake with fear. Alma led the charge, flashlight brandished ahead of her like a warning, Louis close behind, a little nervous. He was still young enough that situations could feel more real, even in the hallway of his father’s apartment. Ed carefully brushed his hand against Louis’s, open just in case, and grinned when a tiny hand gripped his back.
“There!” Alma shouted and reached down to grab a donkey that had just been chilling in the middle of the hallway. Had to give them an easy one to start off with, after all. Ed took it from her and slipped it under his arm, though he’d have to come up with a better system soon. He was very aware of how many animals were hidden in the house and he couldn’t walk around with them all.
After the lion in the cupboard and the shark in the sink, Ed was able to grab one of Stede’s decorative baskets (that Ed stashed chips in) as a temporary animal transport. He was also getting a little bit into the game, making a horse attempt to gallop away before Alma tackled it and having a tiger attempt to fight back before Louis hugged it into submission.
In fact, it was all going perfectly until Alma turned the corner into the bathroom and flicked on the lights. Ed, still riding high on the kids enjoying the hell out of this game, reached out and grabbed Uni the Unicorn, hiding just inside the doorway, in order to help her resist capture. Unfortunately, Uni had one thing none of the other stuffies had: a somewhat solid horn sticking out from her forehead. A horn that, in her attempts to get away, knocked Louis right in the teeth.
“Ow!” Louis yelped, both hands flying up over his mouth, dropping his flashlight.
‘ Fuck fuck fuck, I broke Stede’s kid !’
“Fuuu dge ,” Ed quickly course-corrected, falling down to his knees in front of Louis. “Lou, I’m so sorry, mate! Can I see?” Alma peered from behind Ed’s shoulder, worried but extremely curious.
Louis, still blinking in shock, slowly pulled his hands down, opening his mouth that now sported a big gap just to the right.
“Lou, your tooth!” Alma exclaimed, pointing right where Louis’s tooth had been only thirty seconds before. And sure enough Louis furrowed his brow, moved his tongue around a little, and spit out one tiny tooth.
“Had that tooth been loose?” Ed asked, hopefully.
“No,” Louis gulped, mouth wavering, eyes getting big. Oh god, oh god, Ed had knocked out Louis’s tooth and now he was going to cry . He was the worst step-dad ever .
“Well, that’s alright!” Ed tried to cheer him up, slowly rising and trying not to think about how much his bad knee was going to bother him tonight. “Everyone’s teeth come out eventually and how many kids at school will be able to say a unicorn took their tooth out?”
“N-n-none,” Louis warbled.
“Exactly,” Ed winked with more confidence than he felt, leading the two to the kitchen where there was better light and he could make sure that a knocked out tooth was all that had happened.
“I bet the Tooth Fairy will give you something wicked for that tooth, too!” Alma piped up, running ahead, already in big sister mode. Ed could kiss her. “Maybe five whole dollars!”
“Whoa, really ??” Louis’s whole face lit up at the thought and Ed felt blessed by the lucky, and cheap, save.
“Oh, the Tooth Fairy could definitely swing five dollars,” Ed agreed, hoisting Louis up on the counter and opening the blinds to let the light in. A quick look confirmed Uni’d just knocked out the tooth and hadn’t done any other damage, thank god. He made a mental note to check his wallet for a five dollar bill. “How are you feeling, little man?”
“Alright,” Louis replied, though he clearly couldn’t help sticking his tongue in the new gap between his teeth. “A little sore.”
“Would a popsicle help?” Ed asked, pulling from childhood memories of his mom coming home with popsicles whenever he had a sore throat.
“You know,” Alma grabbed Ed’s hand, tiny little face grinning up into his, “I bet I know what would make Lou feel so much better .”
Which is how, a half an hour later, Ed found himself seated at the Starbucks around the corner from the apartment, Alma on one side, Louis and his favorite stuffed animal Lucky Dog on the other, both sipping Chocolate Chip Frappuccinos.
“Now remember kids,” he said again, “if your mom calls and she asks ‘Did Ed take you to get Frappuccinos,’ you say yes because we don’t lie to our parents. But what else don’t we do?”
“Volunteer information,” they both repeated.
“Exactly,” Ed nodded, taking a big sip of his hot chocolate, his nerves finally beginning to calm down again.
“Ed?” Louis asked, leaning over to trace the snake coiling down his arm from underneath the sleeve of his tee shirt. “How do you get the pictures on you so they don’t come off? I tried to draw a snake like yours on my arm but it washed off in the bath.”
Ed’s heart sputtered at that and he had to blink back tears that suddenly threatened to spill from the corners of his eyes, the image of Louis concentrating intently as he drew a little snake on his arm warming his heart.
“My tattoos? You actually have to go to a person and they put them on with ink and a needle.”
“A needle?!” Alma squealed. “Doesn’t that hurt ?!”
“A little bit,” Ed agreed. “But not too much. Plus I’ve got a bunch so I’m kind of used to it.”
“Can I get a tattoo like yours?” Louis asked, eyes wide, drink sitting forgotten on the table.
“If you still want to when you’re older, sure,” Ed agreed. “I’ll even take you. But we’re years away from that, mate.”
“Me too?” Alma asked, still looking a little apprehensive about the needles involved in this operation.
“Of course. You can both get tattoos when you’re older if you really want to.”
“Yay!” Louis cheered, throwing Lucky Dog in the air in glee. Unfortunately, Lucky Dog did not come straight down and instead landed a few tables over, right where two older women were chatting over coffee.
“I’m so sorry,” Ed apologized as one of the women stood up and walked Lucky Dog back over to Louis.
“No problem at all,” the woman waved it off with a smile. “Are you two out having fun with your dad?”
Ed opened his mouth to correct her but Alma beat him to the punch.
“Yeah!” She grinned. “He accidentally knocked Louis’s tooth out so he took us for Starbucks!”
“In a game,” Ed amended. “Accidentally in a game.” He would examine how warm he felt at Alma automatically agreeing Ed was her dad after he made sure this woman didn’t call Child Protective Services on him.
“Oh, I raised a few of my own. I know things happen,” she laughed. “But it looks like you’re all feeling better now?”
“Ed’s going to get us tattoos!” Louis shared happily.
“When they’re older!” Oh god, the children were going to get taken away and it would be all his fault. “I said they could get tattoos when they were older!”
With a laugh, the woman bent down so that she was eye to eye with Ed where he sat.
“Take a breath, love. You’re doing fine.”
Ed felt all the tension flow out with him, his shoulders finally coming to sit in a more natural place. The woman just patted him on the shoulder.
“Wife sick?”
“Husband called into work and first time step-dad-ing alone.”
Her face was full of sympathy. “Well, you’re doing a fine job. They’re both adorable, healthy, and clearly having a good time. I’d say it's gone exceedingly well.” She looked up at Alma and Louis. “You’re having a lovely time with your dad, aren’t you?”
“Of course!” Alma smiled at the same time Louis squealed “Yeah!”
“See?” She patted him on the shoulder again before using it to push herself back up to standing. “Now you kids have fun. I need to get back to my wife before she realizes her phone is more interesting than me.” And with another wink, she was back over to her table.
In that moment it suddenly hit Ed that, even though he loved Alma and Louis, he’d spent the whole day thinking of them as Stede’s kids and while they were that, they were also his now. And all that love that he’d been holding at bay, unconsciously waiting for something to turn bad, for him to mess up, for Stede or Mary to remind him that they were the kids' parents not him, suddenly washed over him. These were his kids .
“Ed?” Alma had reached over and placed her hand on his, breaking him out of his stupor. He looked over at her little face, at the reflection of Stede and Mary he could see, and felt his heart crack open with love.
“Come here, kiddo.” He opened his arms and pulled Alma into a big hug, keeping his right arm open to envelope Louis who, as predicted, joined a second later. “I love you two, do you know that?”
“We love you too, Ed,” Alma replied matter-of-factly. Like there’d never been any doubt.
“Why are you crying?” Louis asked, tucked in under his right shoulder.
“Sometimes you cry when you’re happy, right?” Ed asked, sniffling a little. “And I’m just so happy that you guys are my family now.”
Sometimes you just had to have a little breakdown in Starbucks.
Stede was finally free around five.
“Hello, my darlings,” he exclaimed as he walked in, making sure to kiss all three of them in greeting. “I brought food with me!” And he had, a veritable feast from the combination A&W/KFC: Buckets of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and root beer floats for the whole family. Ed set about getting it all out of bags and onto the kitchen counter as the kids told Stede about their day. Ed had only been vaguely paying attention until one sentence in particular got his attention.
“And then Ed hit me in the face!” Louis exclaimed with a toothy grin (though not as toothy as this morning.) Stede glanced over at Ed in confusion.
“In my defense, a unicorn knocked him in the face. I just happened to be driving it at the time.”
“Ah yes,” Stede nodded. “I’m aware of the inherent danger of unicorns.” He turned back to his son. “And then what happened?”
And that was it. No questioning, no accusations. Stede just accepted it was an accident at face value. Which made sense because Stede loved him, Stede knew him but maybe there was a little part of him that had still been worried and it finally let go. Ed shoved a biscuit in his mouth to make sure he didn’t start crying again.
Dinner was had, Encanto was watched, and soon the children were in bed, promises of adventures awaiting them in the morning. Stede walked back into the living room after getting Louis a glass of water and collapsed into Ed.
“Long day?” he asked, brushing a loose curl away from Stede’s forehead.
“Unbelievably.” Stede turned his head and kissed Ed’s collarbone. “Sounds like you had quite the day yourself.”
“You know,” Ed felt himself getting a little choked up, “the whole thing with Louis’s tooth was an accident.”
“I know, love,” Stede murmured from where he’d tucked himself under Ed’s chin. “Accidents happen. And that tooth was going to come out eventually.”
Ed didn’t trust his voice to reply so he just kissed the top of Stede’s head.
They watched tv in silence for a while, the next episode of some British murder mystery Stede had gotten them hooked on. Soon enough, though, they were both barely awake, and Ed had missed whatever had happened in the last ten minutes.
“I think it’s time for bed, love,” Stede sighed, rolling off Ed and getting to his feet. He stretched and then held an arm out to pull Ed up, too. They quickly went about their evening routines, faces washed, lotions applied, teeth brushed, five dollars slipped under Louis’s pillow, and were soon collapsing into bed.
“Are we doing the aquarium tomorrow?” Stede asked into the darkness as he curled up behind Ed, pulling him into his arms.
“I think so. The weather’s supposed to be bad so somewhere indoors is a good idea.”
“Mmm, they’ll love that,” Stede agreed, nuzzling his nose into the space behind Ed’s ear.
“Hey, Stede?” Ed asked, moving his right arm to lay on top of Stede’s, lacing their fingers together.
“Yes, love?”
“We’ve got good kids, don’t we?”
There was a pause, a sudden intake of breath, and Ed realized he’d never referred to the kids as his before. He had a moment of uncertainty before Stede pulled him closer, tightening their embrace.
“That we do.”