Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sometimes he felt like screaming. He wanted to shake something. He wanted to tell his father exactly how stressed he was from the constant, non-stop tasks. Sometimes he didn't just feel like doing that, sometimes he did do that.

Today was one of those days. He told his father he needed a break, he needed to have more free time. He tried to explain that free time would make him happier. He threatened to quit modeling, trying to give his father an ultimatum. He yelled at his father. Loudly. He'd pushed a ceramic plate from the table where he often sat alone for meals, leaving the broken pieces for their kind maid, Shelia, to clean up.

His father, in turn, told him this was just proof that he couldn't handle his own schedule, that he wasn't mature enough to manage responsibilities yet.

"You are flailing around like a child throwing a tantrum. I cannot speak to someone like this," his father said and walked out of the room. No solution. No compromise. No words. Nothing.

Adrien gripped the edge of his bathroom sink, head bowed, urging himself to stay calm. It would get better.

It will get better.

He replayed the sentence in his head for years now. If he just did what he needed to do, it would get better. If he followed the schedule, if he obeyed the rules, it would be better.

He knew that trying to force his father to listen wasn't the way. Gabriel decided to do what Gabriel wanted, when Gabriel wanted to. Adrien knew his words would fall on deaf ears. What had he been thinking?

He knew that it would get better eventually, whenever his father decided to make it better.

He could even remember the times over the past four years that it had gotten better. Because it was better sometimes, wasn't it?

His mother left when he was twelve. He spent the first year home schooled and hidden. That was a difficult year of solitude that Adrien didn't like to remember.

But then his father had agreed to let him go to school!! The greatest gift he had ever gotten... friends and freedom! He wasn't alone anymore, and he wasn’t stuck in his house.

It was only natural that the schedule started. Yes, he was able to make friends. And yes, he could keep the friends. All he needed to do was follow the schedule.

It was good. Wasn't it? So what if he had only an average of 4.7 hours to himself over the course of one week? It was a gift: wasn't it? Weren't the lessons, the tournaments, the photo shoots, and extra classes all better than being stuck in the house alone?

School was the gift, and the schedule was how he earned it.

It was good. Things were better. He just had to follow the schedule, even if it got stressful at times. He learned quickly that to complain meant to be threatened to be taken out of school. He learned to not complain... and so he didn't.

A couple years ago, as a reward for doing what he was told, his father had allowed him to go to New York with all of his friends. It had been a dream come true, the best gift he had ever received from his father. A gift that he earned. Some of the best memories he had were made in New York and he learned so much about himself, his miraculous, his lady, and even made new friends for life.

He should be grateful he even got the chance to go. It didn't matter that for the six months after the trip his schedule became even more strict, limiting his free time to 2.3 hours per week. Yes, he saw his friends even less after that, but his father had allowed him to go to New York! He followed the rules and it had paid off.

There were other times, too, that validated he was doing a good job. Special days where his father would join him for dinner. Once, two years ago, his father had even taken him on a tour of Gabriel and allowed him to shadow him at work. Adrien had to go to the office occasionally for photo shoots but for the most part the headquarters were off limits to him. His father’s passion for his work was unmatched, and it was a treat for Adrien to have the opportunity to not only learn about the business, but spend the entire day with his father while doing it.

Another time Adrien was even able to go with his father to Milan and attend one of the largest designer meetups in the world. Although his father traveled often, Adrien had never been able to join before that. It was a first for him, and his father even told him that as long as he continued working hard he would be able to go on the next trip. While Adrien’s heart wasn’t completely in the fashion world, he loved to see his father working to keep the company he and his mother cultivated together.

He knew that it would get better. It always did, eventually. He just had to follow the schedule for a few more days, a few more weeks, and he knew his father would be grateful one day in the near future. He always was. That's how it went. He looked forward to those good days – they proved that he was doing a good job.

Adrien took one last breath and stood taller, releasing the tight grip he had on the sink. He was overreacting, as always. The urge to apologize washed over him as he shook his frustration away. He was being a terrible son. He loved his father and his father loved him. Yes, his father could be a little controlling at times but it really wasn't that bad. His father was great in many other ways.

Adrien felt a wave of guilt for the broken pieces of ceramic left on the tile in the dining room. He created a mess when throwing a childish tantrum, just like his father said. He caused more work for Shelia in the process because of his over reaction. He needed to apologize to her, too.

Adrien didn't mind fencing, or learning Chinese, and he enjoyed taking piano lessons. The schedule was fine. It was all worth it. Adrien was overreacting, as usual. Since he didn't really mind the lessons, he didn't need to complain about it. If it made his father happy, then he knew he would be happier too. It was better to just do whatever he needed to keep his father calm, because really it made his life easier too.

Adrien walked out of the bathroom and continued his homework, clicking away on his computer as if nothing bothered him at all.

Chapter Text

Sometimes, when Adrien was at Nino's, he would realize that certain things about his father weren't exactly normal.

Nino didn't want to join the swim team, even though his mother was encouraging him to do so.

"You did such a wonderful job in that competition with your friends, I really think it would be fun for you."

"Nah, I have enough going on with my DJ schedule getting busier. Some people posted my mix on their Twitch and I've been getting more gigs."

Adrien cringed, waiting for the fallout of saying no. He turned away, not wanting to intrude on what was bound to be a large disagreement.

But instead of a fallout, Nino's mother just smiled and said she was proud of her son for his success and passion with his one and only hobby.

Adrien thought about that for a long time afterwards. His father was famous, had an image to uphold, and needed to follow a schedule tightly. Adrien knew his father was trying to structure his future so he could become the most successful model and businessman possible. Nino didn't have that pressure so of course his mother was much more lenient about his extra curricular activities.

Adrien knew his father was different. He loved in different ways, by teaching him how to be prepared for the future.

It was just different.

Other times, Adrien was able to admit it to himself: his dad was kind of a jerk.

But his father had been through some seriously messed up things: from losing his parents young in a plane crash, to losing his wife, to creating a billion dollar corporation at the relatively young age of 30; Gabriel Agreste had worked hard and suffered.

His own parents had been harsh and demanding. Once, when Adrien asked his father what he remembered most about his parents, he told him he remembered their silence. Apparently the couple hardly spoke to one another, or their son. Adrien didn't ask him to elaborate.

From what Adrien remembered, his father and mother loved one another. He remembered holding his mothers hand while she hugged her husband's arm; or perhaps he was remembering a photo he saw in an old family album.

He knew that his parents would go on holidays together, although most of those holidays were taken before he was born.

He remembered hushed conversations and his mother gripping his father's forearms while they spoke in serious tones. His parents communicated and worked through their problems together. Never go to sleep angry, his mother would whisper to him.

He remembered his mother urging her husband to dance with him on a winter night, and the two of them twirling romantically in the snowfall. He remembered the joy on his mother's face the most.

He remembered doors slamming, but he didn't remember who did the slamming.

But then, sometimes, a creeping thought would surface in his mind that he didn't really remember his own parents' relationship very well.

He tried to not let it bother him. He had endless memories of his mother and him that kept the love inside his soul alive.

He wondered what he was doing wrong. Most of the time he would try harder: focus on being on time, study more, get higher grades, perfect a composition. Other times, he was so angry because he couldn’t find an answer to that question he constantly asked himself. Sometimes he knew with certainty, and reassured himself, that he wasn’t doing anything wrong!!

Then his father would insist he redo a three hour photo shoot. Clearly, if the entire staff at a photo shoot was getting called in for a redo Adrien must have done something wrong. His father wouldn’t pay twenty peoples’ wages a second time if something wasn’t wrong. He wished his father would just tell him what he could do better, outright tell him how he could be good enough.

Sometimes Adrien believed he would never be good enough. Ever. But it didn’t stop him from wanting to be good enough for his father. 

Other times Adrien knew that he couldn’t be good enough, because what his father wanted was impossible to achieve. No one was perfect.

Most of the time Adrien was just confused and wanted things to be good. So he continued doing what his father wanted because… eventually it would get better. It always did, at least for a little while.

Sometimes he didn't like the way Ladybug would scoff at his suggestions. Even if they weren't going to work, at least he was trying. Sometimes he would get annoyed. It reminded him of how he would get frustrated when his father wouldn’t listen to him.

But he knew he had to remember that he was just being sensitive. He had a problem with over-reacting. He knew that.

“She just can’t keep her mean thoughts to herself! I wish I had the nerve to say something but she would turn it around on me and make me look like the bully. I know it...” Marinette was ranting to her small group of friends at lunchtime about Chloe's most recent behavior. They were both submitting designs for an upcoming local fashion contest and Chloe had chosen to insult rather than support her fellow classmate.

“Maybe you should try talking to her, or telling her how that makes you feel. Chloe can be harsh but she is a good person deep down. If you try it may surprise you,” Adrien suggested. Although he knew Chloe had an attitude, she was one of his oldest and closest friends and he knew she was capable of goodness… if you squinted.

“Adrien, you don’t have the best judgment for this kind of situation. You can’t even stick up to your own father.”

“Dude!!” Nino’s eyes went wide at his girlfriend’s blunt words. Adrien snapped his mouth shut, shocked by the statement. 

Well, he could always rely on Alya to be honest, Adrien supposed.

It was true, wasn’t it? What right did he have to give advice like that when he couldn’t even follow through with it himself? He did whatever his father said. Of course there were times when he tried sticking up for himself in the past but… he was still where he had always been. 

“I just meant that Adrien deserves to be treated better by his father, too. I wish you’d stick up for yourself more often… like you’re suggesting Marinette do,” Alya said slowly, carefully trying to recover from the harsh words.

“Thanks,” Adrien said shortly. “But my situation is different. My father cares about me and he has a lot on his plate with the business, he is just trying to make sure I’m successful. It’s really not so bad. He does a lot for me.”

The conversation slowly recovered. 

“Well we all know that what you design will be one-hundred times better than whatever Chloe does, girl!”

Marinette thanked her best friend and babbled on about her design ideas, and listened to her friends’ opinions.

Adrien didn’t speak again.

As scheduled on Thursdays, he woke up early and ready for his forty-five minute exercise session with his personal trainer. Afterwards, he got ready for school (thirty allotted minutes), and ended his morning with a solo breakfast in the dining room. When the butler, Jean, set his plate in front of him on the table, Adrien recoiled.

The plate had one egg, one small link of sausage, and a very small pile of spinach. Garnished beautifully and seasoned perfectly it looked like a five-star meal… for someone a quarter of his size. Despite it not being the butler’s fault he couldn’t help the exasperated look he gave to Jean, whose eyes shifted uncomfortably.

“Is this everything?” Adrien’s tone was evidence of his dismay.

“The chef was advised of your updated meal plan last night. We have to follow the plan.” Jean was a kind man and Adrien could hear the hint of apology in his tone. It was nice to know Jean cared, but that wouldn’t make more food magically appear on his plate.

“What about the meal plan my father and I agreed upon?” Adrien tried not to pout. He wasn’t really talking to Jean, because he knew it wasn’t his fault. But he was frustrated.

“We have to follow the new plan,” Jean repeated and Adrien sighed. 

“Can I at least have a side of cheese?” Adrien asked specifically, hoping to get Plagg his normal breakfast.

“I’m sorry, Adrien. We were given an explicit warning not to deviate from the meal plan.” Jean gave a small bow and exited the dining room.

Adrien sulked in his chair, appetite nearly gone as the crushing disappointment overshadowed it. One year ago, after months of trying to convince his father, the two of them had come up with an agreement about his meals. At the time Adrien had been so exhausted and hungry during class he was nearly falling asleep. It took weeks of trying to schedule a meeting with his father and then it took even more time to actually convince his father to make the meal adjustment for him. Adrien had been so relieved when he’d been given some freedom over his meals and that his father had agreed to compromise with him. 

Obviously that agreement expired, unbeknownst to him. Thinking about how tough it had been to get his father to agree back then completely erased any intention to try again at this point. Adrien would have to figure out something else. It wasn’t even worth the effort to try to talk to his father. He was better off saving his complaints for something more important than meals, like going on special outings with his friends. He had to choose his battles wisely.

He understood the need to keep his body in shape; he was a model, after all. But he wasn’t sure what had changed.

Adrien looked down at himself. His clothes fit him fine, nothing was too small or tight. His shoulders had admittedly gotten more broad but he figured that was due to his natural aging… although Chat Noir duties definitely helped with gaining more muscle than expected by his personal trainer.

Was this his punishment for asking for more free time and throwing the plate? Was this his own fault for the ultimatum he tried to give his father?

Either way, Adrien messed up. Big time. His face fell into his palms; how was he going to fix this?

When they were able to reach a compromise about the meals Adrien took it as a sign of his father giving him some autonomy. It had been such a success and relief. Now, one year later, it felt like they were going backwards. Adrien poked at the egg and forced himself to eat what was given to him. If he was going to have to sneak food behind his father’s back it wasn’t going to be easy, and he wasn’t sure when he would have the time to leave as Chat Noir to go to the market. Plus, he didn’t know how to cook so the foods he would be eating would be limited to takeaway and raw snacks he could fit into his mini-fridge.

He would have to be more mindful about the extra outings as Chat. Even though he had a super suit that granted him extra layers of protection, it didn’t reduce the amount of energy he had to use when he was running around the city. That was all on Adrien. He was usually hungrier when he took off the suit than when he had put it on.

He felt Plagg push into his collarbone gently from under his shirt. It was a small relief that he wasn’t alone, but Adrien would make sure that Plagg didn’t have to suffer the consequences of what he had done wrong this time. 

Plagg didn’t say much about the state of things. When he did, it was words of support and things along the lines of, “If we ever get the chance to show him who’s boss, we’re taking it.” Overall, Adrien would just give him a friendly pet on the head and Plagg would rest on his chest when he was moping in his bedroom feeling down.

When he was feeling exceptionally bad, Plagg tried to distract him with offers to share his cheese – a thoughtful but overwhelmingly unappealing gesture. Usually Adrien would reject the extra cheese and Plagg would eat it, then suggest (since he was so full and energized) that they should go for a midnight prowl.

Adrien knew Plagg wasn’t one for emotional displays, so he hoped the wheels of camembert were enough to show how much he appreciated his kwami.

Chapter Text

“Great timing bugaboo, because the akuma is in his shoe,” Chat winked as his partner, clad in red, landed directly in front of him, looking as fierce as ever.

“Rhymes or puns, pick one and stick to it, Kitty!”

“An im-purr-ssible choice, M’Lady!” 

Ladybug just rolled her eyes and then looked around at the akuma situation surrounding them.

The akuma was throwing bowling balls, which were more like demolition balls that completely destroyed everything in their paths. He had already defaced many of the statues and fountains nearby, and was currently aiming for the abandoned vehicles.

“I was thinking you could use your yo-yo as a reflective shield and I’ll use my staff as a bat to hit the balls back at him. That way he’ll be distracted and on the defensive, and we can get close enough to crush his shoes.”

“Last time I checked, bowling balls don’t bounce back easily,” Ladybug said dismissively with a tiny scoff, completely shutting down his idea. Chat’s ears flopped forward as he felt the sting of rejection but he didn’t say anything more. She was right, his idea was pretty dumb, wasn’t it? 

Her eyes roamed the square and she was withdrawing her yo-yo again, beginning to spin it. 

“How about some double-dutch practice instead?” she said with a determined look on her face.

“Sounds purr-fect,” Chat said simply and followed her lead.

When he landed on Marinette’s balcony that day he wasn’t entirely sure what his motive was. He spotted the familiar fairy lights as he prowled the night and his instincts pulled him to land. She was sitting on a lounger, sketching with her bottom lip captured between her teeth. 

He remembered the last few times he’d visited her. While few and far between, those encounters had been nice. Marinette was a good friend to Adrien and fairly bubbly when he visited as Chat Noir. He recalled the funny little love confession she practiced on him years ago and smiled to himself fondly. She hadn’t mentioned her crush since then and from what he knew the only boy she ever dated was Luka, and he was long gone from the picture.

He landed in full view with a thud, trying not to startle her so that she wouldn’t make any mistakes on her sketch. It didn’t work and he watched her jump, her drawing hand jerking involuntarily.

“Chat Noir!” she said with a little huff, but she quickly turned her surprised expression to smiling and friendly.

“Hi, Marinette, I was in the neighborhood and decided to drop in.” His shoulders relaxed without even thinking about it and he let his baton shrink closed.

“I actually could use a break from this mess, so thank you for visiting.” She huffed again and closed her sketchbook.

“Funny enough, that’s exactly how I feel tonight,” he said with a sigh.  

Her brow creased as she looked up at him, standing up from her chair and stepping closer.

“Are you alright?” Her lips settled in a small frown. He couldn’t really tell a civilian any details about his personal life, so instead he shrugged.

“What’s wrong?” Her hands landed on his upper arms and she moved her thumbs in small circles to help comfort him.

“I can’t talk about it.” He tried not to sound too defeated, but he couldn’t help it. He was defeated. Ladybug didn’t care what he had to say. His father didn’t care what he had to say. Nathalie, his teachers… 

He had his friends though. Nino, Alya, Marinette, and even Chloe. Why was he whinging? What did he have to complain about, anyways? He was lucky – he was a career model, he was famous, he had money, he had his father, he had friends, he had Plagg...

But still, he felt so helpless sometimes. He felt suffocated. He had things but not the things he wanted. He loved his friends, he didn’t want to discredit that, but he just felt so trapped as himself sometimes. He felt like something was missing and he was exhausted from trying to find it. Being Chat gave him the chance to be free, to say what he was thinking, to do what he wanted. For a while, when he first was given his miraculous, he believed that being Chat was what he was missing. But today Ladybug had reminded him of how stupid it was of him to think that adding another persona was the answer. He was still Adrien underneath. And Adrien was still trapped, disappointing, and missing something. He wasn’t the idea guy, he was the listener. He followed. He went along with things; he was the yes-man. 

Because if he didn’t say yes bad things would happen. Bad things did happen. 

His mother left him.

His father would hate him.

He wouldn’t be allowed in public school.

He would be locked in his room.

His friends wouldn’t want to be his friends anymore.

He would lose his job.

He would lose his miraculous for not cooperating with his partner.

He would fail, and be more alone than ever.

So he said yes. He sat on the sidelines and he did what he had to do to keep the peace, even if it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to do. Even if it wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t so bad, was it? He had a comfortable life. He shouldn’t complain. What was good in his life was really good. He could deal with the bad. No one’s life was perfect. He was just complaining. He was sensitive. He was overreacting, as usual.

His morose train of thoughts was interrupted when Marinette shook him gently, with a “Chat.” Her voice was closer than it had been before.

Adrien shook his head and focused on his friend, smiling at her the same way he always did. Smiling because he was grateful for her; she was one of the best things about his life.

“Sorry, I just got a little distracted with my thoughts. It’s been a long day for this stray. What are you working on, Princess?” He gestured to the sketchbook that was now sitting abandoned on the chair.

Marinette squinted at him, but must have decided he was well enough. She grabbed one of his hands and dragged him to the empty seat beside her, where she coaxed him to plop down. He didn’t object.

“There is a local contest for young designers coming up next month. I’ve drafted a few pieces – a blazer, a dress, and a formal jumpsuit. I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of each, trying to decide which would showcase my talents the best and which I could even create within the time constraints.” Adrien listened patiently and smiled as Marinette started listing details of her plans. Seeing Marinette happy and enthusiastic made him feel enthusiastic, too.

Adrien didn’t have many passions of his own. Learning to play the piano started as something to do with his mother when he was young, and fencing was a way to follow in his father’s footsteps. Despite not knowing what he, himself was passionate about (yet, he hoped), he loved seeing Marinette’s face light up while discussing her love of designing.

He felt himself relax as he listened to her, some of the anxiety clouding his thoughts was easing away.

“What do you think?” Marinette’s words cut into his relaxed state, surprising him. She was extending her drawings and asking for his opinion of them. He cocked his head, put off by the question. But Marinette was smiling an encouraging smile and so he looked down at her designs and tried his best to come up with a good response for her.

“I think I like the jumpsuit, it’s less traditional and more complex than the other two options. It will highlight your skill and will definitely cat-ch more attention.” He carefully pointed at the design with his claw and Marinette nodded.

“That’s a really good point. It is the most challenging between the three, which is why I was hesitating to choose it. I’m not sure if I’m skilled enough to put it together...” Marinette leaned forward and used the tip of her pencil to point at parts of the design. “This part here uses a technique that I’ve only done a handful of times in the past. It would be a big risk to attempt, because if I mess up I won’t have time to come up with another design to submit.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t try. You need to leave your comfurrt zone in order to get better,” Adrien leaned back into the chair, resuming a more comfortable position.

“You’re right,” she said with a determined nod. “You would know, wouldn’t you? Having to face unexpected akumas every other day probably throws you out of your comfort zone. I’m sure you’ve gotten much more thoughtful and creative over the years.” She sounded so sure of herself that Adrien almost wanted to believe it. But he knew better.

“Hardly,” he admitted, trying not to sound too disappointed in himself. “Ladybug is the one with the great ideas. I just get in the way and mess things up. I’m the target practice. You’re talking to the master of destruction.” 

“That’s not true at all!” Marinette fired back immediately, her face twisting into an adorable pout. “You are clever and great at predicting the akumas’ next moves. Without you, Ladybug wouldn’t have time to use her Lucky Charm. You're always needed for the Lucky Charms to work. I’ve seen loads of videos on the Ladyblog and you are way more than target practice," she sarcastically spoke the last two words.

Adrien felt warmed by her words and grateful that she had observed anything about him. In his mind, Ladybug was the star.

“So, you've been watching my moves on the Ladyblog, huh?” He sent her a wink and leaned forward towards her chair slightly so she would have to make eye contact. He wiggled an eyebrow.

“You flirt, stop that!” Marinette leaned backwards in her own chair to restore the gap between them. She rolled her eyes but continued her speech. “Without your offensive expertise Ladybug would be completely lost. She hardly ever fights, she just jumps around dodging things.”

“Ladybug is amazing,” Adrien sighed, unable to contain the admiration in her voice. 

Marinette scoffed. 

“Don’t underestimate her abilities. She’s the glue to the team. Even she admits that I’m useless at strategy.”

“What?” Marinette’s head whipped to the side. “Ladybug never called anything about you useless! She wouldn’t do that.”

Adrien shrugged. “She doesn’t have to say it, she implies it enough. She always has a better plan and makes sure I know it.”

Marinette stared at him, her jaw a little slack, seemingly at a loss for words.

“I tend to overreact about things. It doesn’t really matter what I think. Like I said, Ladybug is the brain behind the operation and I like it that way. I really value her,” Adrien couldn’t help but start rambling, backtracking. He didn’t mean to insult his Lady! From the way Marinette looked, he had definitely said something wrong. 

Of course he did, he shouldn’t be surprised. Could he do anything right? Evidently not because Marinette was probably thinking he was a horrible partner, talking bad about Ladybug behind her back. And if he was sitting here talking about Ladybug behind her back, then Marinette definitely wouldn’t want to be his friend anymore either, thinking he may talk about all his friends behind their backs. 

“I’m sorry, that was all really stupid to say. I don’t know why I even bothered you tonight.” He stood up abruptly and Marinette jumped to her feet in tandem.

“Wait! Wait, Chat!” She grabbed his hand, stopping him from going.

“I really don’t think Ladybug thinks anything about you is useless. And if she makes you feel that way, maybe you should tell her that she hurt your feelings so she can be aware and do her best to not hurt you in the future.”

Adrien shook his head, stepping away. He couldn’t tell Ladybug anything like that! What if she left him? What if she decided he was overreacting and found someone else to be Chat Noir? She was the Guardian after all, and could do that. 

“No, I’m just being over sensitive right now. It’s stupid and Ladybug is purrfect.”

“No way!” Marinette pulled hard on his hand, stilling him completely. Her face was twisted into a frown and the guilt started crashing down in waves. Now he was upsetting Marinette!

“You’re not useless. Your ideas are clever. You’re not sensitive for feeling hurt. If Ladybug said something that hurt you I’m sure she didn’t mean it and would be very, very sorry if she knew. You’re an amazing person – kind and caring and selfless, and I for one truly believe you and your ideas are invaluable to Paris.”

Adrien scrunched his nose and shook his head slightly. This was all going very upside down. “I’m sorry I upset you, Marinette. I should leave.”

“You didn’t upset me. I’m upset because you’re upset!” Marinette said sternly, gripping his hand even tighter now as if trying to lock him into place. “Your feelings matter, Chat.”

Adrien clenched his jaw.

Alya didn’t think his judgment mattered. Ladybug didn’t think his ideas mattered. His father didn’t think his feelings mattered. In fact, what his feelings could cause is what really worried him. His feelings could ruin his life. His feelings could start arguments. His feelings could make him lose his friends. He was better off that his feelings didn’t matter.

He thought again of the broken plate that took half an hour of Sheila's time. The plate he broke in a fit of angry feelings for not having enough free time.

He saw Marinette’s facial expression, looking sad because he had expressed his frustration about Ladybug not liking his ideas.

He saw his father’s exasperation and impatience, because he couldn’t figure out how to do anything right.

He just wanted everyone to be happy, calm, and positive. It sounded so simple but for some reason he couldn’t get it right.

“I really should go, Marinette,” he repeated in a flat voice. She stared up at him carefully before reluctantly releasing his hand. He took a step backwards.

“I’m sorry for bothering you tonight.”

“You’re not bothering me,” she said, and he almost believed her. He withdrew his baton but didn’t acknowledge her and turned his back, preparing to leave.

“Please come back again,” Marinette said in a tiny voice that bled with pity. Adrien’s shoulders stiffened. “I like your visits.”

He looked over his shoulder and flashed a completely unbothered-Chat smile. “Well, I can’t deny a Purrincess her request, can I?”

He vaulted away.

Chapter Text

7 months after Emilie’s disappearance/4 Years Ago

Adrien wanted his father. It happened on random days when he would be consumed by memories of when his mother was still there. It hurt, it hurt on levels he couldn't even put into words. The emptiness and the pressure of the finality of her disappearance weighed on his chest. He wondered if his father felt the same way; he assumed his father must. Adrien wanted his father to comfort him, as his parents used to do in distant memories he had buried in his mind. 

When was the last time his father hugged him? At Christmastime when he was thanking him for a gift? Did that count? Adrien felt starved for more... that contact didn't feel deep; a thank you for a gift is very different than a hug to soothe and comfort.

When was the last time anyone comforted him when he needed it?

He was sitting on his bed, his heart was pounding, his eyes were staring at nothing. His mind was in the past, remembering-remembering-remembering when things were better. When his mother would hug him, when he was able to play in the park and share a picnic with his parents, when he would sit between his parents on the sofa and fall asleep between them while a movie played.

He missed his mother so terribly. And he missed his father, too.

But his father was there. He had his father. Didn't his father see that, too? Maybe Adrien just had to remind him. Maybe he could explain to him that even though mother was gone, they still had each other. In the same way that he wanted his father to reassure and comfort him, Adrien was willing and wanting to return the support. He didn't want his father to feel the same emptiness he felt; he didn't want his father to feel alone. 

Since his mother disappeared his father had become a recluse, and Adrien often believed that hiding away was his father's projection of the true loneliness he was feeling in his heart. Adrien knew loneliness and he also knew that he wanted to try to fix it, for himself and his father.

Still in a slight daze from the crushing thoughts and anxiety of loss, Adrien headed towards his father's office with hope and determination. He could help his father and his father could help him. That's what family did, and that's what people who loved one another did.

He knocked on the door and waited anxiously for a response. He pushed the doubt away, clinging to the memories of his father and how he used to be before his mother disappeared; how he could be again .

When the door opened and Nathalie was revealed she easily stepped aside to grant Adrien entrance and then excused herself from the room.

"What brings you here, Adrien?" His father's indifference had Adrien regretting coming to the office almost immediately. Almost. He tightened his fists and gathered up the hope and courage: he could do this. He wanted it to work so badly. He had to try.

"I'm having a bad day," he said honestly and didn't bother to hide the distress in his voice.

His father set down the pen he was using and looked up at him.

"What's wrong?"

"Mother," Adrien said simply. He swallowed a bubble that formed in his throat. "I miss her. I don’t care where she went or why she left us, I just want her back.” Despite his efforts his voice cracked at the end of his sentence, thick with emotion.

His father stared at him, a small frown on his face. He was sad, too. He understands!

“You need to think of other things. Focus on your studies and your growing career as a model. We need to focus on the future,” his father said stoically. “Your mother may come back one day.”

“But she’s not here right now. I don’t… I can’t stop missing her. Aren’t you hurting, too?” Adrien rarely asked his father such candid questions, rarely argued, and rarely displayed any requests for support. But he had to try. How it was right now wasn’t working for him; Adrien felt like he was falling apart at the seams, unable to move forward, alone and without any questions answered.

“There is no reason to dwell on the past. We must focus on what is coming, we must carve our own futures.”

“It’s not the past! It’s now. She’s gone right now and I miss her.” Tears were streaming down his face now, desperate to get any kind of connection or comfort from his father, some indicator that he wasn’t alone in his feelings. “Don’t you miss her too?”

“You are being sensitive and allowing your emotions to control you. Stop crying. This discussion is over.” His father’s voice was raised and sharp, hissing with anger.

"Stop it! Stop being like this, stop doing that!"

"I am not doing anything." Gabriel’s exasperation was clear. He had reached his tolerance. 

"Exactly! You're not doing anything! Stop it!" Adrien's heart was pounding, his voice trembling with desperation.

"Am I doing something, or am I not?" His father's tone was mocking and impatient, and all it did was upset Adrien further. Why didn't he care? Why was he antagonizing him when the first thing Adrien said when he walked in was that he was upset? Was his father trying to make this worse?

"You are making a fool of yourself. Pull yourself together and get out of my office."

"Why don't you care?" Adrien was crying, his heart feeling crushed and confused. Why didn't his father care about him?

"I do care. But you are overreacting, and you would agree if you could see yourself." His father sighed as if he truly did care, his voice losing the mocking tone from seconds earlier. Adrien used his sleeve to wipe off his face, taking in his father’s words. Here he was, begging his father for any kind of connection, being met with complete disappointment.

“I wish you understood,” Adrien said bitterly. The anxiety and nervousness was fading and the crushing sadness was taking over yet again.

“As do I, Adrien,” his father said in that same low tone with no emotion whatsoever.

Defeated, and feeling even worse than before he decided to try to change anything, Adrien left the office.

He learned that day to not ask for his father’s comfort, but that didn’t stop him from yearning and hoping for it.

Present Day

It took him a few days to gather up the courage to visit Marinette again, but she had asked him to come back and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. He liked having her as a friend as Chat. It was refreshing and felt good to share that side of himself with someone other than Ladybug. As Adrien, he treated Marinette as he did all of his friends; they saw the version of him that had to act a certain way. Plus, whenever he was around Marinette at school she seemed to freeze up and become very shy. When he was Chat she wasn't so nervous.

When he arrived at her balcony Marinette looked distressed: she was chewing her lip, twirling her pencil in her fingers. Her sketchbook was open on her lap, yet seemed abandoned. She was staring out into the night sky, lost in thought with a frown on her face.

"Good evening, Purrincess, what’s on your mind?" Chat landed softly and kept his baton extended, just in case Marinette decided she didn't want company that night.

"Oh, hi Chat," she said absently. "I'm not feeling the best tonight."

"Do you want to talk about it? If you're not feline up to company I can leave you to your thoughts." Chat re-extended his arm, preparing to leave. He didn't want to be a bother. He didn't want to upset Marinette further. He knew he had a tendency to say the wrong things and upset people.

Marinette didn't answer quickly and Adrien could feel his heart starting to race. Was she going to tell him to leave and never come back? Had his presence upset her even more? Was it him that she was upset about in the first place?

"You can stay," Marinette said quietly. Adrien let out a sigh of relief and closed his baton. Still, he tried to pay attention to her body language just in case he did start to upset her.

"I am having trouble with a… fashion competition. I keep trying to come up with new ideas but it's this endless battle I'm never going to win. All of my friends are counting on me; I can see it every time I interact with one of them. They expect these great ideas, but whenever I get close to finishing something goes wrong. People are counting on me. If I don't get this right, people will get hurt. I just... I can't fail. And I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to make it go right anymore, I'm running out of ideas. How many years can I keep doing this?"

By the end of Marinette's speech she was hunched over, her hands tangled in her hair in distress. Her eyes were watering and a few tears had fallen down her cheeks.

"I have to get it right. I keep trying but it's endless..." The pencil she had been holding fell to the ground and rolled away, but she didn't seem to notice. "How am I supposed to keep doing this, Chat?" Her face fell into her hands and she dissolved into full-on sobs.

Adrien was shocked by the display, never having seen Marinette so vulnerable or upset. She was usually strong, optimistic, and put so much effort into caring about others. But maybe this, what he was witnessing, was the hidden price of her selfless nature. Adrien felt massive waves of guilt coming over him as he watched one of his closest friends suffer. If he wasn't here as Chat, who would she be talking to? Certainly not him or Nino, maybe Alya...

Despite his guilt he knew that this was the time to focus on her, so he quickly made his way over to her, kneeled in front of her, and pulled her into a hug. She clung onto him tightly, her face (and tears) falling into his shoulder. She was shaking slightly with her sobs. He didn't have the right words for her yet, and didn't think it was the time to speak, so he spent a few minutes allowing her to seek comfort in his arms and let out her tears.

After years of lacking physical affection and emotional support, doing this for Marinette jogged a few memories in Adrien's mind. When he was younger, his mother was always there to hold him when he cried. Of course, his tears were over small, fleeting things that passed quickly, but knowing there was a source of unconditional encouragement was what truly mattered. He knew firsthand how incredibly painful it was to have no support in his most desperate times. The familiar, agonizing emptiness swelled in his chest but seeing Marinette in need made it subside almost as quickly as it came.

He held tighter to her, gutted that she may be feeling even a fraction of what he felt in his darker days. Even if no one was there for him, he could be there for her.

By now she was calmer, her sobs turned to sniffles, and she raised her head from Adrien's shoulder. He took it as his cue to pull away but remained kneeling in front of her.

"I'm so sorry I just unloaded all of that on you. I don't even need a solution. There isn't one, I've spent what feels like years trying."

“I don’t know much about designing and I’m not going to sit here and say that people aren’t counting on you – maybe they are – but I can tell you that you need to ease off the pressure on yourself. You seem to have the weight of the world on your shoulders… Maybe there is a way to share the weight. I’m a superhero and sometimes I really do have the weight of the world on my shoulders but I never have to face it alone. And you don’t have to face anything alone either. I’ve met your parents only a handful of times but they seem very supportive. And I think I’ve seen the Ladyblogger and you running away together during Akuma battles; she seems like at least one good friend.”

Marinette sighed and hung her head. Adrien tried to replay his words in his mind to figure out where he went wrong. It didn’t really seem like what he said made her feel any better, if anything he made it worse. Of course he did!

“I-I didn’t mean to compare saving the world to your designing – to call it insignificant! I’m sorry, Marinette! Your problems are valid, too!” Adrien raised his hands in front of himself and waved them a little frantically, trying to backtrack and fix his mistake.

Marinette looked up, her face twisted in confusion. “What?”

“I was trying to comfort you and-and I messed it all up,” Adrien cringed at himself.

“No you didn’t,” Marinette said with another sigh. “It’s just… I can’t tell people. It’s... a secret competition. For an internship overseas. I-um-don’t want to disappoint anyone, especially my parents, if I don’t get the scholarship and-uh-they have to pay for the internship themselves. So, yeah, it's a secret!”

Marinette’s words were a little jumbled, as if suddenly nervous, and Adrien figured it was because they were entering the realm of discussing money. While he was very fortunate in that sense, he also knew a lot of his friends weren’t.

“Okay, well, as long as I didn’t upset you.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, deciding to get back on track since apparently his advice hadn’t upset her. “You told me about it… you can talk to me.”

“I did tell you,” Marinette said as if she was making a discovery. She blinked a couple of times before a small smile appeared on her lips. “I have you to talk to.”

Suddenly his chest felt a little lighter and Adrien couldn’t stop a smile from breaking across his face. Knowing that he was able to lend an ear and support his friend successfully was such a rewarding feeling. If he could be there for Marinette, then he would. He wanted to be.

“If you ever need to bounce ideas around, or want an opinion, or a distraction, I’m happy to be of assistance.” Adrien hopped to his feet and bowed low, one hand extended and one across his chest. Marinette giggled. “You can count on me, Princess.”

Marinette looked at him thoughtfully for a few seconds, the silence between them was comfortable and at ease. Finally she reached for his extended hand, accepting his offer. He pulled her up to stand before him and she used her other hand to pretend to hold the edge of an invisible dress and curtsied.

“I’m honored by the offer and… and I accept, Chat Noir, but with one requirement.” Marinette’s hand fell out of his grasp when she crossed her arms over her chest in the determined way she often did when she had an idea. Adrien stood up straight and nodded, encouraging her to continue.

“You have to remember that your feelings matter, too, Chat.” 

It wasn’t what Adrien was expecting her to say, so his surprise was evident on his face. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you have to promise that you will not push your feelings aside to make other people happy. Last time you were here you said that Ladybug hurt your feelings by dismissing your ideas. But you didn’t tell her, did you?” 

He knew it was a rhetorical question so he didn’t respond. But his brow furrowed as he tried to follow.

“I didn’t want to upset her by telling her about my feelings, it’s easier to just keep the peace,” Adrien reasoned, explaining his rationale.

“Your feelings matter, Chat, and you need to work on believing that and not being afraid to share your thoughts. If someone rejects you or starts a fight with you because you tell them your feelings then they’re not worth your time or energy.”

Adrien blinked at her. What she was saying made him feel very uneasy. He tried to tell his father his feelings and it got him nowhere but trapped in a house and hungry. He tried to explain to his friends why he obeyed his father’s strict rules but they tended to scoff and make him feel… well, a little incompetent. Like he was doing something wrong by listening to his father. He loved his mother with all of his heart, loudly and boldly, and she had  left him… what would showing negative feelings towards his friends or father get him?

Marinette was trying to convince him to express his objections and hurt feelings, but the warning bell in his mind was already screaming ‘abort!’

“I promise to come to you if I’m feeling overwhelmed and need support. And you have to promise to work on it, Chat, please?” Marinette said with a pleading expression, as if she truly cared.

Work on it didn’t necessarily mean he had to do anything crazy, like yell his feelings from the rooftops. Maybe he could try. For Marinette’s sake. Slowly he nodded and this time it was Marinette who smiled, appearing satisfied with the outcome of their new arrangement.

“I’m glad to see you’re feeling better than when I first landed here. I guess you could say my company was the purrfect cure.” 

“I suppose I can agree just this once." Marinette rolled her eyes playfully but finished with a more serious tone. “You reminded me that I’m not alone. Thank you.”

“Like I said, any time. So, what can I help with tonight? Do you want me to take a look at your designs?” 

Marinette’s mouth shaped into a little ‘o’ suddenly and she frantically started shaking her head, giving a little awkward laugh. “Er-um-nope, no designs tonight. I think I’ve thought enough about them all day, it's time I take a break. How about we just, um, sit and enjoy the stars?”

Adrien looked up to see the night sky was dark as could be, the stars and moon covered by a layer of thick clouds. He tried not to laugh at Marinette stumbling over her words. She could be antsy at times and Adrien usually found it endearing. (He could admit that at other times he was just confused, completely unable to follow what she was trying to say.) 

“Unfortunately it looks like the weather wants us to cut tonight’s visit short.” Adrien pointed up to the sky and Marinette blushed slightly, noticing that her suggestion was not the brightest.

“Oh, well, we can play video games inside… if you want? But we have to be quiet. My parents are sleeping, they wake up early to prepare the bakery.”

It was Adrien’s turn to blush at the suggestion. He knew that Marinette meant it completely innocently, but he also knew that sneaking into a girl’s room late at night without her parents’ knowledge sounded a little scandalous.

Scandalous, but exactly what he was going to do.

“I purromise to keep the noise level down. Cats are notorious for our stealth.”

Marinette gestured towards the skylight entry and he followed her down and into her room. They spent an hour giggling quietly, each thoroughly enjoying the other's company. For both of them it was a wonderful night time respite from the demons they faced in the daylight. At the end of the night they felt comforted and optimistic, both looking forward to their next encounter.

Chapter Text

“Dude, I can’t believe you put up with this crazy schedule. If I were you I’d definitely say something. Or run away. Or stop doing what he wants… you deserve some freedom!”

Adrien just shrugged. Nino didn’t understand, how could he? This is who his father was: structured, orderly, and prompt. Adrien couldn’t reject those things. He didn’t want to reject those things. He loved his father and respected him. His father was all he had left and he wanted to make him happy.

Adrien remembered when he lost his mother. It had been the darkest days of his life and he was never the same after. He remembered sitting in his bed at night, crying into her old sweater, trying to preserve the scent of her. He remembered sitting in bed begging any deity that would listen to bring his mother back from wherever she was. 

It had been months of crying, depression, and darkness. He had panic attacks and couldn’t keep track of the days. His memories of the time were hazy, but he could remember the feelings as if his mother had just left yesterday. The raw feeling of loss never truly dissipated. He was resigned to the fact that he would never truly get over it. It was part of him.

Sometimes remembering how much it hurt to lose his mother reminded him how he needed to follow the rules. It helped him cope with his frustration and anger, and it settled him down. He couldn’t lose another parent: he could not lose his father. He knew how horrible it was for him and his father when his mother chose to walk away. He couldn’t walk away from his father (he couldn’t make his father go through that again), and he also couldn’t give his father a reason to walk away from him (he couldn’t go through that again.)

So what if he was given a busy schedule? He would take his father and a packed schedule over freedom and no parents.

“Snacks, hot chocolate, and your ear for hours? You’re too good to me, Princess,” Adrien, who was out on a night run as Chat Noir, sipped on his aforementioned drink and eyed his friend over the top of his mug.

“You’re just as much here for me as I am for you! I’m pretty sure last time you were here we talked about me the entire time. Don’t sell yourself short. Remember, you promised me you’d work on it,” Marinette smiled and leaned against the ledge of the rooftop, taking in the night lights of Paris and the brightly lit, but deserted, streets below.

“I’m trying. For you,” he said honestly. Marinette sighed.

“I need you to try for you. Your feelings matter, Chat,” Marinette parroted their new mantra. Adrien sat in silence, reassuring himself that what Marinette was saying was true: at least when it came to talking with her.

“It’s difficult. I-,” he stopped to figure out how to word it without revealing too much. “I have to follow a lot of rules in my everyday life. I can’t always object or tell anyone what I’m feeling. I’m not used to it.”

“Why not? Why can’t you tell anyone, and what would happen if you did?” Marinette pouted that perfect pout of hers and despite the anxiety welling inside of him at the topic and her questions, he still found room in his heart to find her endearing.

“There isn’t anyone to tell,” he said bluntly. Marinette looked sad. Chat swallowed his reflexive guilt and had to remind himself that she was just sad for him, not because of him.

“And if I do tell-” my father “-someone, it won’t matter. It will create arguments, even chaos. And then I’ll get-,” he abruptly stopped because he didn’t want to say what was on the tip of his tongue. He would get punished. It sounded pretty bad, but it definitely sounded a lot worse than what it truly was. “Punished” was just restricted, or grounded, or assigned more obligations. They weren’t really punishments – they were lessons to teach him how to be more structured and to accept the world for what it was.

“It’s easier to stay quiet.”

“But what if you’re unhappy?” 

“I’m not.” He answered so quickly, in a knee-jerk, completely robotic way. But it was true. Overall, he wasn’t unhappy. He had his father and that alone was amazing, and something to be happy about. Sometimes he would be unhappy about a certain situation but that was the price of having a father. And he would willingly pay it every single day if he could keep him.

“As long as I can go to school, spend time with my friends, and be Chat Noir – I’m happy.”

“Those are normal things, Chat,” Marinette said, suddenly looking confused. “Why wouldn’t you have friends or go to school?”

Adrien pursed his lips. Because if I don’t do what I’m told he’ll take it all away from me and throw away the key.

The answer in his head was an unpleasant one and made him uncomfortable to even think. He was being dramatic, even in his own head. It sounded like blackmail. But it was his father, who loved him, and he would never actually do something like blackmail his son. Adrien's paranoia was running rampant and he needed to temper it. His father was just worried about him, protecting him, and caring about him the only way he knew how.

“Please talk to me. You can be honest,” Marinette was suddenly closer to him, under a meter away, and he realized he’d been lost in his thoughts for a moment.

“It sounds bad...” he admitted hesitantly. “I swear it sounds worse than it is.” 

Marinette waited patiently for him to gather up the courage to answer honestly.

“If I argue I can get… grounded. I mean, I can leave but I need permission. That's pretty normal, heh. And… lately, well, I get less food. Only if I don’t follow the rules.”

“You get less food? Did I hear you right?” Marinette shook her head briefly as if to clear out her ears.

“Eh… yeah,” Adrien said with an uncomfortable sigh. 

Marinette eyed him up and down and Chat felt himself blush as she checked him out. It wasn’t that her observation was unwanted, but it was unexpected. He felt a little self conscious and wondered what she thought of him in his suit. She blushed and looked away, seeming to catch herself.

“You must lose thousands of calories running around all night as Chat Noir. Your food is being restricted?” Her voice was tight with bitter dismay. “That’s not safe or healthy, Chat.”

“I’m not being starved or anything,” he argued, feeling the clawing need to stick up for the punishment.

“No wonder you are unable to share when I bring up an entire platter of food that’s supposed to last hours.” 

Chat just smiled, trying to ease some of the tension.

“So if you disagree with things you don’t get to eat?” 

“No, I get to eat. Just less than I would like. But I eat whenever I’m out as Chat to balance it out. Lots of rooftop takeout meals for this stray.” He patted his stomach as if proving a point that he wasn’t starving.

Marinette was staring at him with a troubled expression. “That’s really not okay, Chat.”

Chat tried to swallow the guilt, this misunderstanding coming to a head. He couldn’t tell her he was a model and was being measured for his job.

"It's not that bad. I have been outgrowing some of my clothes recently so it’s helping save money on a new wardrobe," he spewed out an excuse.

“You’ll be starved and grounded in order to save money?” Marinette looked aghast. "There are second hand stores, thrift stores, and donation centers. I can take you to one - I sometimes go to get excess fabric."

Adrien cringed a little. There was no way he could possibly take clothes from people who actually needed them.

"No, I'm good, I have enough clothes," he said quickly, trying to end the conversation. His face was warm and he was uncomfortable. Marinette sighed but didn't speak again for a few minutes.

“What kind of rules do you have to follow?” Marinette asked after some time.

“The rules are whatever I’m told,” Adrien said bluntly, because obviously that was how it went. Marinette furrowed her brow.

Adrien sifted through his recent problems with his father: the restricted meals, the lack of free time, redoing the photo shoot, not being able to talk to him. It all seemed so petty when he said it to himself, so it probably was. No wonder his father was getting annoyed with him.

“It’s nothing extreme. If I don’t go to my extracurricular activities after school, for instance, I’ll be grounded.” He gave a very basic answer. If he strayed from his schedule at all he would be grounded, but missing just extracurriculars sounded more normal.

Marinette didn’t look convinced. He felt like he was being crushed by the pressure of keeping things from sounding too bad. Because it wasn’t that bad.

“I can’t keep talking without giving you details about who I am as a civilian. I’m sorry, Marinette,” he said with a sigh. It was true, she knew him too well. If he tried to explain his schedule, work, and diet it could very easily blow up in his face. “But believe me, it sounds worse than it is.”

“Well, fine!” She huffed. “As long as you’re with me you have to promise to tell me how you’re really feeling and-and eat whatever leftovers I bring up here.”

“I can try, I’ve been trying,” he attempted to reassure her and agreed to her offer. Telling Marinette his feelings was a challenge he was facing one day at a time. Occasionally he would still be worried that his feelings could destroy their friendship, but she had this way of making him feel accepted and… he truly wanted to believe her.

He hoped he wasn’t fooling himself.

The following week he worked on it. Sort of. He brought extra money for lunch and consistently ate with his friends. He also made it a point to eat every single time he went out as Chat Noir. It was happening so often now that he was becoming somewhat of a marketing scheme for restaurants around the city. Signs saying ‘Recommended by the Hero of Paris, Chat Noir!’ were posted in shopfronts. He was photographed shaking hands with owners, and upon return visits noticed his framed photographs on restaurant walls.

The attention was not lost on Marinette, who loved to ask for restaurant reviews every time he stopped by to see her. Seeing her smile whenever he talked about defying his father’s rules and eating out was becoming a highlight for him. He found himself trying to make her smile as much as possible both in the costume and out. It was easier as Chat, however, because Marinette had a tendency to be particularly nervous around Adrien, although he still didn’t understand why.

Either way, he found himself thinking about and considering Marinette much more than ever before, and he found that he really liked it. He enjoyed caring about her, seeing her laugh, seeing her happy, and knowing that he was helping to make that happen.

The next time he showed up at her balcony for more than a pass-by he stopped at a creperie emporter tucked inconspicuously between residential apartments. He bought two crepes, one savory and one sweet, and tipped the chefs for staying open late to serve him.

When he appeared on the balcony Marinette was already there, scrolling through her phone. She waved as he approached. Adrien bowed dramatically and offered the bag of crepes to Marinette on one knee, suggesting that they share and pretend to be food critics for the evening. She quickly went to recover two plates and cutlery, agreeing with ease, and Adrien knew he was in for another wonderful evening with the girl who was slowly becoming one of his best friends.

Marinette’s POV

"Oh my gosh you're wearing all of the cookies again!" Marinette laughed as she reached out to brush the crumbs off of Chat's chest. After their Critique of the Crepes (™) Marinette had supplied a few cookies and a decadent slice of cherry clafoutis to share.

"Whoops! I'm furr-tunate that you're here to help out, Purrincess," Chat looked down his masked nose at her with a little grin.

"Oh, here we go..."

"What? I am feline paw-sitively furr-fulled after all those snacks. Interested in a cat nap my furr-end?" Chat flopped down onto the ground and curled up like a real cat. Marinette scoffed.

"Get up off the ground! If you'd like to relax we can go inside and watch a movie." Marinette began to gather the empty plates and blanket. She approached the stairs down to her bedroom, trying to balance everything, and Chat hopped to his feet.

"This is going to be a cat-tastrophe. I'll take the dishes." He plucked the plates from her hands and she threw the blanket down the hatch. It landed haphazardly on her bed and her hands were free to climb down the stairs. Chat followed gracefully while balancing the plates with perfect posture.

"Is it the suit that helps with the balance, or are you always perfectly poised?"

Chat smirked, "You think I'm purr-fect?" He proceeded to walk across her room, still holding the plates, as if he were on a catwalk and he was trained for the runway. Marinette cocked her head, intrigued.

"Okay, Mr. Model," she mumbled, Adrien's face flashing across her mind briefly. She pushed the thought aside.

"I'm sure it's the suit," Chat laughed and placed the dishes on her desk, before making his way to the chaise lounge to make himself comfortable. She sensed his gaze on her while she set up a movie on her laptop. He didn't speak but it was a comfortable kind of silence between them.

"What's all of this?" Chat gestured to a haphazard pile of beads, scraps of fabric, and torn pieces of paper strewn across the floor near her desk. Some pieces were crumpled up into balls and others were downright destroyed.

"Oh..." Mariette regarded the pile and cringed. She typically did not let anyone see her room in such disarray. "That's my, um, reject pile."

Chat reached towards it and immediately Marinette jumped forward to interrupt his path. "No!"

He froze and looked at her, surprised. Marinette, cheeks red and wide eyed, frantically began shoving the things into her small rubbish bin. She was almost manic in her behavior, eyes scanning the ground looking for any extra bits that she may have missed. When she finished and sat back she saw that Chat was giving her a curious look, silently asking for an explanation. She sighed.

Marinette wanted to explain herself briefly and simply. Chat didn't need to know about the time she sat and cried for fifteen minutes and then redid an entire design project, because there were eraser marks on the original draft.

"I'm a little protective about my mistakes and designs. When I work I focus, and maybe sometimes I get a little carried away. If I mess up at all I have to toss it. I don't like mistakes."

"Mistakes are how you learn," Chat said easily. He walked over to the rubbish bin and Marinette's heart started pounding. What was he doing?

He slowly started picking around the bits of fabric and retrieved the scraps of torn paper. Marinette made a sound of protest, a choking noise breaking the silence. He started unraveling the paper.

"No! They're not right!" She lurched forward to recollect the imperfect designs. "I'm better than that!"

Marinette's heart was racing. He couldn't see those... her failures. She knew that practice made perfect but she didn't want him to see her imperfections. Chat dodged and put himself between her and the paper.

"Please don't judge me from those, I'm better than that," she repeated worriedly.

Within seconds he had pieced together the torn paper like a puzzle. He held up a hand as if to keep her in place and stood up. He retrieved the tape from atop her desk and began using it to reconnect the scraps. It was undoubtedly going to look even worse than before she ripped it up, and Marinette felt her skin crawling at the idea of having to look at one of her mistakes again. But before she knew it the taped drawing was being examined by Chat. She could see the original errors clearly, and they were making her stomach churn.

"You keep telling me that my feelings matter and that I need to remember it. Well, it's your turn to start telling yourself something: your art matters. Even if there is a mistake, or an error, or something you want to change. You're learning and building and this matters, even if it's not perfect." He held up the paper like a display. "No more ripping and tossing out imperfect designs." 

He determinedly marched to a blank stretch of wall that was near the small window and, ignoring Marinette's cringing, taped it to the wall.

"I... can't just leave that there. It's not right." Her eyes were wide and her head was shaking slowly. The display of something she didn't feel good about was making her intensely uncomfortable.

"It's what's going to make you an even better designer one day." He looked at the mistake fondly, even as Marinette scowled.

"I can't promise it will stay but... I will try to keep it there for as long as I can. It’s like putting a failing grade on the refrigerator," she said dryly.

Chat grinned. "If you think that's failing then wait for this." He walked to her desk and made himself comfortable, grabbing a pen and sheet of paper.

Marinette stared at the re-taped sketch and wrinkled her nose. She knew that mistakes were inevitable. She knew that. But she also knew that mistakes were bad. If she made a mistake as Ladybug, or if she slipped up about her identity, it could mean people's lives. Since becoming Ladybug her fear of failure had increased tenfold, and it bled into her daily life. Designing had to come second ever since she became Ladybug, but she had become obsessed with making sure when she did design that she did it perfectly.

"Ta-da!" Chat stood up and wildly flapped a piece of paper, bounding over and taping it next to Marinette's own design. She had to cover her mouth to stifle her laughter. It was a very (very) basic drawing of the two of them standing side-by-side.

"If you ever think your designs are bad just take a look at mine," Chat laughed at his own work.

"Look how cute our stick figures are," Marinette giggled. He had managed to draw claws on his stick figure hands, though they ended up almost as long as the stick-figure legs. The Marinette stick figure had wild blue hair and was taller than his.

"I signed it," he wiggled his cat ears proudly.

"Honestly, I could probably sell this for thousands. A Chat Noir original!" Marinette approached the drawing and appraised the art with a grin.

"The fans would go crazy." He nodded sagely in agreement.

Marinette laughed and grabbed his wrist. "Enough playing around for now, Kitty! We have serious business to attend to... time to watch the movie."

Chat allowed himself to be dragged and plopped down on the chaise, stretching out to get comfortable. Marinette settled on a pile of blankets on the floor, getting cozy herself.

As the night went on and the movie played, Marinette couldn't help but sneak looks at the pinned up "art" in the corner of her room. Seeing her mistake on display was uncomfortable, but almost immediately she would feel more relaxed when she saw Chat's doodle right beside it; it made the burden a little less. The tiny grin on her face was all thanks to Chat.

Adrien’s POV

He sat on a tall building overlooking the city, the breeze akin to his drifting thoughts. Marinette was something else. Around Adrien, during the daytime, she was shy and clumsy. She stuttered a lot and ran late and lost her concentration often. But when he was Chat Noir it was like an entirely different side of her appeared. Maybe it was from being in the comfort of her balcony, at home. Or maybe it was because she felt comfortable talking to someone anonymous. Or... maybe it was him.

Whatever the reason, he liked it. She was a wonderful listener, gave fantastic advice, was thoughtful, and she was confident. When she spoke of her convictions and beliefs he couldn't help but believe in her. She was so incredibly kind that there was no way she could be anything but genuine. She was never cold or calculated, and that was refreshing to have in someone close to him.

Not only that, but she was expressive too. Unlike Ladybug, who always came off as aloof and unbothered, Marinette was an open book. No matter if she was mad, sad, proud, inspired, or nervous, he knew. She didn't hold back, and she was vulnerable and honest. Most unique about being near her: he felt needed.

Yes, Ladybug needed him to help her defeat akumas.

Yes, his father needed him to model.

But Marinette needed him to listen; Marinette needed him to speak. The feeling of being not just needed, but wanted, was so foreign, yet so elating. Even when they had tough conversations and he was struggling to open up, he didn't feel like he was a bother.

Last night, after the movie ended, she confided in him her insecurities about the future and what would happen if she didn't succeed in the fashion industry. He tried to help comfort her by building up her confidence. And then, after that failed to have enough of an impact, he sat with her and together they brainstormed what other options were out there for her. 

Just knowing he was supporting her, and knowing how much she appreciated it, had Adrien's heart pulling in a different direction than it had been facing for years.

He could never imagine Ladybug sitting down with him and exposing her fears and frustrations. She was always so sure of herself: it was one of his favorite things about her. And, to be frank, he couldn't imagine her agreeing with so many of his suggestions if they did sit down for a talk. At least not in the way Marinette did.

Marinette was beautiful. Like, staring into shiny eyes and seeing them sparkle kind of beautiful. Her face was so expressive, her eyes bright blue, her lips light pink, and... she was just so cute.

Adrien grinned and splayed himself out on the rooftop so he could  stare at the night sky. Thinking about Marinette made him happy.

He always believed it was his and Ladybug's fates that were written in the stars: a love story for the ages. But now... now he was wondering if that story was one of love at all. Perhaps the intertwined fates of Chat Noir and Ladybug were bonds of companionship and friendship, of heroism and professionalism. Suddenly, it was Marinette that was the brightest star in the sky.

Chapter Text

"Where did you go last night?" His father was standing at his desk, hands planted on the surface, looming over him like a villain from a superhero movie.

"What do you mean?" Adrien said carefully, not wanting to give anything away.

"Nathalie went to check on you last night and you were missing. Yet somehow, once she alerted me to your absence, when we revisited your room you were in bed. I checked the security footage from the front gate and it was undisturbed during those hours." Adrien kept his face neutral while he was interrogated. "So tell me, son, how did you manage to sneak out and where did you go?"

Adrien stared at his father, and decided that today was going to be one of those rare days where he didn't do what his father expected of him.

‘Your feelings matter.’ Okay, Marinette, let's try it...

"I went to the kitchen and ate. Since you altered my meals I've been hungry."

It was obviously not what his father expected to hear.

"You went to the kitchen?" his father repeated.

Adrien nodded. If he was going to get the opportunity to speak with his father he may as well take advantage of the time together to try and fix a major problem.

"Your meal plans are perfectly balanced. I had a nutritionist and personal trainer work together to construct it to fit the weight and muscle mass averages of models your size."

"But I'm hungry. None of my friends are monitored like this, and we talked about this years ago. What happened to our agreement? I'm tired and can't focus on my classes. I'm irritable with my friends–”

"Perhaps they aren't ideal friends if they cannot understand your situation."

Adrien clenched his jaw. His father was trying to imply that his friends were the problem?

"My friends care about me. They understand that I'm a model and busy. They know my schedule is strict and sometimes I can get stressed out–"

"You will continue to adhere to the meal plan and I will see that the kitchen remains locked. Do not disobey me again, Adrien."

"This is bullshit!" Adrien erupted, his voice echoing through the atelier.

His father stared at him, eyes blank. The silence that followed was louder than his shout. He had never raised his voice to his father, let alone cursed at him.

"You are not to leave without your bodyguard. Nathalie added a social outing to your schedule this weekend, but you are no longer permitted to attend. Remember that I allow you to attend your school, and I allow you to spend time with those friends of yours. You are the face of Gabriel Designs and a public figure. There are rules you must follow. I do what I must to protect you and your reputation to ensure your safety. I've already lost your mother, I do not intend to lose my son well."

"Going to my friend's birthday party isn't going to put my safety at risk!" Adrien protested. He was being punished for sticking up for himself. He knew this would happen.

Your feelings matter. That’s what Marinette kept telling him, but it wasn’t really true when it came to his father, was it?

"Perhaps this will teach you to know your place and remind you that respect is earned, not demanded." The tone in his father's voice was one of finality that he was all too familiar with.

Adrien clenched his fists at his sides and opened the door roughly. It hit the wall harder than he expected, but Adrien couldn't find it in himself to care. He left the room in a huff.

He didn't anticipate his father to follow him, but he was suddenly yanked backwards and pulled to a stop. His father spun him around, gripping his bicep with bruising force. Adrien was disoriented, by the situation as much as the abrupt movements, and found his father towering over him. His father was a tall but lean man, and although he would only wear three piece suits that hid his physique Adrien knew he was by no means weak. Still, it surprised him how forceful his father's grip was. 

It scared him.

"You will not disrespect me like this again." The ire in his father's voice matched the darkness in his eyes. Adrien recoiled from his father, whose face was mere inches from his.

"I-okay, father," Adrien stammered, at a loss for any other words.

Gabriel shoved him away roughly and Adrien stumbled to keep upright. His father turned back towards his office and the door closed with a loud bang. This was a side of his father that Adrien had never seen before. His father was strict but was never rough with him. He tended towards being a composed cutthroat, rather than using brute force. At least, that was what Adrien thought.

Only once he was back in his room did he realize that his father had managed to deflect all of the real concerns he brought up.

Adrien often daydreamed about running away from home. He could pack his clothes in a duffle bag, his laptop in his briefcase, and his daily essentials and photographs of his mother into a suitcase. He could turn into Chat and escape through the window. He could go to an ATM and use every bank card he had to withdraw as much money as he was allowed.

He would have to live in hostels or hotels. Maybe Chloe could help him find a hotel that would offer him a discount. He would have to buy a cheap phone and transfer his friends' numbers, and throw his current phone into the Seine. For the first couple of months he would need to stay away from his friends, because his father would no doubt look for him there first.

His face would be everywhere. His face was already everywhere. Would he be able to hide? Would he ever be able to stop hiding? How would he shop or buy food if everyone was looking for him? He supposed he could dye his hair and wear sunglasses and a hat everywhere. Or he could stay Chat indefinitely (with cheese breaks for Plagg) and completely disappear until he was 18.

When he turned 18 his trust fund would be released to him and his father would become a mere beneficiary. But would his father keep Adrien’s accounts in his name if he went missing? Or would he zero them out and move the funds so they were inaccessible to his missing son? Did it matter if he lost all of his money? He could survive like any other normal civilian: with a day-to-day job and use that money to pay his bills. He may not know a lot about living alone, but that's what the internet was for! Instructional videos for anything existed with a click of a button.

Adrien liked to daydream, and had come up with an array of escape plans that had him ending up bunking with Nino, or living on an island in South America. He could be happy and free, with a book in his lap on a beach, watching the sunset. His friends could be there, visiting on his dime.

But the plotting always abruptly stopped when his father's face flashed in his mind... His father, standing over the garden monument that was constructed in his mother's honor. When she first disappeared they had a small ceremony to say goodbye; not quite a funeral but a sendoff. Adrien remembered the shadows under his father's eyes and the tear stains on cheeks. Before that day, he had never seen his father cry.

With love and grief at the surface, Gabriel turned to his only son and clutched him to his chest, hugging him so fiercely that Adrien was stunned into silence.

"Adrien, I love you, and we need to rely on each other from now on. It is what your mother would want. I promise to always take care of you and I will never leave you, son. You are the most important thing in my life and I will always put you first."

It was one of the most honest and kind things his father had ever said to him. It proved he loved him. It proved that, when stripped of all the stress of everyday life, his father was a good man with feelings and fears; a man who was trying his best to be there for his son.

Adrien would remember that moment, and then he would start to remember other fond memories of his father from his childhood. Plots about leaving would fade away.

His father needed him. His father loved him. Even with the strict rules and regulations, Adrien knew that deep down his father was a good man. He had proved it years ago.

Marinette’s POV

“Why do you act like that, Chat!” Ladybug snapped, frustrated with her partner’s antics tonight. He was bouncing around and making puns left and right, and he had already wasted about twenty minutes of their patrol stopping in front of random citizens to offer them his signature and say hello. It reminded her of the Chat from when they first started being heroes.

“Because I can,” Chat said, as if it was the most obvious answer on the planet. “I like talking to people, and making people laugh. I can’t do that as my civilian self.”

It felt like a bucket of cold water was poured over her head. Of course that was the answer. And of course he acted like that. Didn’t he say he wasn’t allowed to speak his mind? Didn’t he say, constantly, that his opinions and thoughts didn’t matter? Maybe as Chat it was the only time he was able to be himself without being… punished. It was through the bits and pieces of his daily life he told Marinette that she was starting to really see how restricted he was as a civilian.

She felt pity for her partner, but was still frustrated. They needed to focus! Shadow Moth’s akumas were getting more dangerous and frequent, and patrolling was their best chance of discovering Shadow Moth’s location. They hoped to one day see a butterfly appear from its location of origin. They had been tracking the incoming and outgoing directions of the butterflies before and after akuma attacks, slowly but surely narrowing down the potential areas Shadow Moth could be hiding.

There was a lot of work to be done.

“I understand there is freedom that comes with having our powers, but we need to catch Shadow Moth. He needs to be our priority when we're patrolling, Chat. Please focus,” Ladybug sighed, trying to show compassion for her partner.

“I apologize, m’lady. I guess I got carried away. I had a really great day today and my excitement got the best of me,” Chat apologized sheepishly. 

After many long discussions on her balcony as Marinette, she was impressed by his reaction. Not too long ago Chat would have clammed up and stammered out an apology, fearing Ladybug would hate him for any kind of misstep. Now he was listening to her frustrations and giving honest answers about his feelings and perspective. 

She was proud of him, and happy that he had come so far.

“A full sentence without a pun? Where did Chat go?” Ladybug smiled, and his grin grew larger.

“I get the feline you are about to be in furr a long night, M’Lady.” Ladybug groaned and the two of them soared over the city together.

Adrien’s POV

He was itching to see Marinette. Earlier he had seen Ladybug and talked to her, and it had been nice... but it was also lacking. Ladybug only knew him on the surface. She rolled her eyes at his puns (even though he knew she liked them) and took light of his antics, she didn't reciprocate his feelings or acknowledge them often. At least, not the way Marinette did. 

Somehow Marinette was able to see through the surface and know when something was off. She helped him feel comfortable enough to tell her about his feelings, and she was more than happy to share with him in return.

Plagg was fidgety and prodded him in the stomach. "We both know you're thinking about the bakery girl. Let's go!"

"We were just there two days ago, shouldn't I wait? I don't want to bother her or have her get sick of me."

"She has good snacks," Plagg said. "I like the sugar cubes." Plagg seemed to find this comment very funny and laughed to himself while popping another piece of cheese into his face.

Adrien rolled his eyes and flopped back on his bed, ignoring Plagg. It's not as if he had ever detransformed at the bakery so he didn't have to worry about Plagg actually stealing any snacks there.

"It's pretty late, I should leave her alone tonight," Adrien tried to reason, ignoring the pull to visit her.

"You've shown up later. And don't you want to tell her about your day?"

Adrien couldn't help but feel a little suspicious of his kwami. Usually he whinged about having to transform, preferring to lay around and eat cheese.

"Why do you want to go so badly?" Adrien asked. Plagg scoffed and flapped his little arms.

"That bakery girl is blind. It's entertaining."

"Don't talk about her like that." Adrien frowned.

"She sees you every day and still hasn't figured it out. That's not even addressing her little crush on you..."

"Marinette has a crush on me?" Adrien sat up, paying full attention to Plagg now.

"She sits outside in the cold with you for hours and then invites you in for movie dates," Plagg said plainly.

"She has a crush on Chat?" Adrien repeated, deadpanned.

"Yeah, him too..." Plagg mumbled but Adrien didn't hear it, completely lost in the revelation Plagg had shared.

Marinette had a crush on Chat Noir? No way... they were just friends! He remembered finding her on the balcony crying about the person she loved not returning her feelings. The similar understanding of unrequited love was what connected them in the first place.

"No way, Plagg, she said she's in love with someone else."

"Well you say you're in love with Ladybug but that doesn't stop your crush on the bakery girl," Plagg sighed again, sounding tired of the conversation.

"I don't have a crush on Marinette!"

"You humans are all clueless." Plagg took another lazy bite of cheese.

Did he have a crush on Marinette? How could he have feelings for her when he was in love with Ladybug? Sure, Marinette was kind, caring, selfless, funny, clever, and beautiful but...

So was Ladybug. Ladybug was also all of those things except... Ladybug didn't want to get to know Chat the way Marinette did. Ladybug didn't listen the way Marinette did. Ladybug scoffed and rolled her eyes at his jokes. Marinette patted his shoulder and looked up at him with undivided attention, her pretty blue eyes a vision of comfort in the recent weeks.

He swallowed a lump in his throat.

Oh crap. He liked Marinette.

Chapter Text

It was backwards and unfair. He was so angry at his father. How could he miss his final fencing tournament? It was his last year in lycée and the season was officially over. Not only had Adrien told his father about the tournament at the beginning of the season, he reminded him (via Nathalie) multiple times as the day got closer. His father had even said he would be there, just three days before the event.

Of course, he didn’t show. Instead, Adrien was gifted with an article in Fashion Weekly discussing his father’s attendance ('in person for the first time years!’) to a biannual EU convention. A biannual fashion convention that his father had missed for the last 4 years was more important than his son’s final fencing tournament that he had begged his father to attend.

Adrien wondered if he was a fool to hope for his father to follow through in the first place. He set himself up to be disappointed, didn’t he; it wasn’t a question, it was an inevitability.

Once again his father hurt his feelings and Adrien wanted him to apologize. Adrien wanted his father to listen and hear why what he did hurt his son, and make promises that he would try his best to be better in the future; and not just say, do it.

But Adrien was so mad at his father he didn't want to go near him. He didn't want to put himself in a position to be rejected yet again by the one and only person who could make it all better. He didn't want to be disappointed, but he also knew his father was the only person who could give him any relief to his crushed feelings.

Did his father know that he could help Adrien feel better by apologizing? Did his father know the power he held, and just did not care? Did his father not know, and would he even care if Adrien told him? Or did his father simply lack empathy?

Parents were supposed to care. His mother most certainly would have cared; his mother had been wonderful at encouraging his father to care. Maybe Adrien just needed to be the one to encourage his father now, and explain to him how he could help his son, how his son needed him.

What would he say? How could he tell his father the things he needed to feel supported?

"I would appreciate it if I could have more free time to spend with my friends. It would make me happy."

"Please come to my fencing tournaments, I want to make you proud. Are you proud of me?"

"Please try to attend more meals with me, it would help me feel less alone and I want to be more involved in your life."

"I have some fantastic friends I'd like for you to meet, they're great people."

"I would feel closer to you if you told me about your day and interesting new projects from work."

(Please care about me. Please care about me. Please care about me. Please care about me. Please care about me. Why don't you care about me?)

Maybe if he spelled out his needs clearly his father would respect him enough to try to meet them.

If he didn't approach his father then his father would think everything was fine. His father wouldn't know how not to hurt him in the future if he didn't tell him. He knew his father didn't want to hurt him... he didn't think so, at least...

Adrien tried to avoid the fact that his father's apathy towards him was devastatingly hurtful. Instead he focused on how to fix it, and how to rationalize it.

His father wasn’t vindictive or evil. He was just lonely and sad, and needed support. As his son, Adrien felt the swell of responsibility. If he could help his father then maybe his father would help him. If he could show his father that he was there for him, maybe he could…

Adrien’s train of thought was stalled immediately by a memory; a memory fueled by disappointment.

When his mother first left them Adrien had tried to be there for his father. He remembered sitting at his desk typing into the internet: how to help my father after my mother’s death. He hated that he had to look up the word ‘death’, especially since that was never confirmed by any authority, but for his purpose that's what he had to research.

The results were overwhelmingly similar: be present, communicate, be patient, listen, plan, encourage. He tried every tip he found. He would try to schedule outings with his father (small things, like private dinners or movies) – his father would not show up. He tried to ask how his father was feeling – and his questions fell on deaf ears. When his father first stopped showing up to meals, Adrien would sit outside of his office with two plates in his lap, knocking and asking to join him. How many times Adrien ended up eating cold food alone in that hallway, he didn’t even know.

Sometimes Adrien had trouble remembering the details of those first few months without his mother. When a memory would surface it would come up as a feeling first, and then form around what caused it. It was a strange sensation and, considering most of the feelings at that time were negative, Adrien did everything he could to ignore those intrusive memories.

But now, years later, Adrien was forcing himself to remember how hard he tried, and how it didn’t matter. How an 11-year-old version of himself was left behind to fend for himself.

He vividly remembered how he had cried alone in his room. How he had knocked on his father’s office door for hours, pleading with him to come out so they wouldn’t have to be alone.

If it hadn’t mattered then, why would it matter now? Why would his final fencing tournament and his hurt feelings matter now, after years?

Because he’s my father.

The tiny, nagging, hopeful voice in his head would not be deterred. Hope was his weakness; it always had been.

If I don’t try, then there is no chance anything will change. At least if I try there is a chance, no matter how slim.

At what point does someone have to give up on another person?

Adrien wished he knew the answer to that question. 

Adrien wondered if he even had the strength to actually give up on his father. The mere thought made his heart drop.

No.

Adrien sighed and dragged his hands through his hair. He couldn’t give up on him. His father was all he had left. He was getting older now and had the awareness and strength to address the issues. He wanted to be mature about it and face it head on.

At that thought he stood up and pushed his anger aside. If he spoke with his father angry they would get nowhere. (Been there, done that.) He needed to approach his father and explain his feelings so it could encourage his father to be better in the future. The only way to do that successfully was to go in with forgiveness. He couldn’t hold his father’s misgivings against him if Adrien wanted him to change.

He could do this. He had done it many times before and maybe this time his father would listen.

For the first time in many weeks, Adrien was dining with his father. He was able to convince Nathalie to ask his father to have dinner with him that evening. After he had done such a good job in his fencing tournament his father must have agreed he had earned that request. While they usually did not talk much during these sessions, Adrien was happy to be around his father at all. At least in this case he had the option to speak, and he had every intention to seize it.

“I made it to the finals in my fencing tournament yesterday, father.” His voice echoed in the room.

It was the first time he was speaking with his father after having his outburst in the office. The weekend had come and gone, and Adrien had stayed at home instead of going to Kim’s birthday party with all of his other friends.

“Nathalie told me you placed third.”

“Yes, Kagami got first, again. She’s practically unbeatable. There were over one-hundred fencers.”

Second would have been better, he knew that, but third was still honorable (Adrien hoped).

His father didn’t say anything. Better nothing than something negative.

“Do you remember how the three of us would go to my piano recitals and my fencing tournaments? Piano reminds me of mother, and fencing of you. I understand that you are busy, but this was the championship tournament and mother’s favorite to watch. I wish you had been there.”

His father sighed.

“You performed well in the tournament, Adrien. Whether it will be virtually or in person I cannot say but I will have Nathalie schedule your next extracurricular event into my calendar.”

“You will?” Adrien said, surprised at how easy it was for his father to agree.

“Yes,” he said simply.

“Thank you, father!” he said, unable to hide his excitement. “I’ve missed you.”

“I am very busy with the company, Adrien. You must have a strong work ethic and determination to succeed. I hope that one day you will understand that sacrifice breeds success. I do what I do for our family.” His father’s words came out very seriously, but Adrien was used to his father’s affinity for theatrics. He liked to capture the attention of everyone in a room, and using such a tone often did that. Adrien was just happy.

“I know, but I like it better when you’re around. Thank you,” Adrien said quickly and simply, not wanting to push and make his father take back his words. This was a win, a huge win. His father had even complimented him! 

Adrien enjoyed the rest of their meal in peaceful silence. His father even said good evening at the end.

Adrien was feeling cautiously optimistic. The discussion with his father went well enough considering the circumstances. Although his father hadn’t apologized for missing the tournament, he did promise to make more of an effort for the next event. While it hadn’t been perfect, at least his father listened to his words. Now he just had to wait to see if his father had actually heard them.

He was craving a night out as Chat Noir before the height of winter settled in the city. It was still chilly outside but the suit made him resistant to extreme temperatures. The skies were clear and the twinkling city lights were calling out to him.

It was Ladybug’s night for patrol but if they crossed paths he knew it wouldn’t be a problem. Although, it might feel a little strange seeing his lady for the first time after finally admitting his feelings for Marinette to himself. Ladybug was his best friend, and no matter his changing feelings she always would be.

After an hour of hopping around the city with no sign of Ladybug, Adrien was feeling slightly apprehensive. Ladybug was typically punctual and didn’t skip out on patrols. He sent her a message to check in only to find that her signal was ‘offline’. Frowning, he sent a follow-up message asking her if everything was alright and offering help if she needed anything.

Pouting, Adrien wondered if Ladybug would even tell him if she did need help. He hoped she was doing well and that she trusted him to help if she wasn’t.

Now frowning to himself, he was less focused on the patrol and was making his way towards an actual destination. Despite the uncertainty with Ladybug there was someone he knew that trusted him to be supportive, who was willing to open up to him. It felt nice to be needed and, more importantly, he really enjoyed her company.

In a stroke of good luck for a generally unfortunate black cat, Marinette was sitting on her balcony, wrapped tightly in a thick blanket and reading from her textbook.

“I’m surprised you’re out with how cold it is tonight.” Adrien landed on the balcony gracefully and bowed, as per usual, making Marinette huff – also as per usual.

“Hey, Chat. I had a disagreement with my parents and decided I needed some fresh air while I mope about my completely unfair punishment.” Marinette’s tone was sour as she glared down at her text book.

“Well I’ve got four ears ready to listen,” Adrien wiggled his cat ears and leaned backwards against the railing, crossing his ankles and making himself comfortable.

“I may have failed a couple of tests, so my parents are putting me on academic probation! They’re going to start giving me at-home quizzes every other day in order to make sure I’ve been studying. As if I have time for that! I hardly have time to study as it is – why else would I have failed those tests? Preparing for internships, getting my portfolio ready, finding time to sleep, helping my friends with their projects, planning activities for my class, protecting Paris-parks! I mean, I just started this new recycling project to make sure the parks stay clean. And now I have to take quizzes! If I don’t pass them, my parents are going to take away my phone. My phone, Chat! Do they even realize that without a phone I’ll be unable to get akuma alerts and – isn’t that just completely dangerous?”

Marinette snapped the textbook on her lap closed and huffed again, crossing her arms over her chest. Adrien did his best to hide his smile at how utterly ridiculous(ly cute) she looked, pouting in a too-large blanket like a Marinette-marshmallow.

He tried, but he failed.

“Mari-mallow, take a few deep breaths.” Adrien grinned. Marinette made a little stuttering noise and looked around at the blanket engulfing her, her cheeks turning red from the new nickname.

“Chat!” Marinette proceeded to stand up, unwrapping herself from the blanket and stumbling over her feet as she tried to escape the layers. Adrien laughed and offered his hand as she nearly fell. Out of instinct Marinette accepted his arm but immediately released her grip once she was out of the blanket and standing straight – her arms were crossed over her chest again.

“They just don’t understand...” she said with a little less anger. It was hard to stay angry after nearly losing a fight with a blanket.

“I can’t help with most of those things, but there are a few things I can help with. Believe it or not I am very intelligent and have meow-stered most of my classes. I can study with you.” Adrien grabbed her textbook and pretended to flip through it. Of course he had the same textbook but he couldn’t tell her that. “Our coursework looks similar.”

Marinette’s anger deflated even more at his words. “You’d help me study on your nights off?”

“I have to study as well, so it’s no big deal. In fact, it will probably make it more fun for both of us.” As odd as it was, Adrien always wanted to join a study group. But with his strict schedule he didn’t have time to stay after school with his peers, even to study. He usually crammed before bed in the few free hours of his day. 

“Well… okay. I-I guess that will work. Thanks, Chat,” Marinette said with a thoughtful expression.

“I could also help with the park project if you’re in need of some public support or publicity. On top of my astonishing intelligence, as Chat Noir I am also in a furr-tunate position of being able to pur-suade people to join in on some good causes.”

“Oh, well, actually you do enough protecting the city, I think I can handle the parks.” Marinette shuffled her feet and waved her hand in dismissal.

“You’re always looking out for everyone else, Marinette, and it’s something I really admire about you. But maybe you need to start focusing on yourself a little more.” 

Marinette let out a bitter little laugh and her shoulders slumped. “I don’t even have time to study, where am I supposed to find time for that?”

“And there is one last thing I can promise to help with,” Adrien said happily. “I’ll make sure you’re never in danger from the akumas, whether you have your phone or not.”

Marinette turned her head and finally a smile graced her face. Adrien’s heart skipped a beat. He really liked her smile.

“You already do, Chat, and I trust you fully with that.”

From skipping a beat to swelling with pride, Adrien wasn’t sure how he wasn’t having a heart attack right about then.

“I-I’m glad to hear that, Marinette.” His cheeks warmed at her candid, sweet declaration. She was turning him into a blubbering mess. It seemed the full force of his newly-addressed crush was hitting him hard.

“But you have to promise me that if you get sick of studying with me you’ll be honest about it. If you’re as smart as you think you are, then I may be a little slower than you. Don’t feel obligated, you’re always free to do what you want.”

“Don’t worry, you’re far from an obligation, Princess. If I'm being honest, spending time with you has started to be a highlight of my day.”

Marinette’s cheeks flushed and her eyes widened slightly, and his heart began to pound so hard that spots began to twinkle at the edges of his vision. He struggled to recover, but found himself tripping over his words again.

“I-I mean-I like spending time with you. But I hope you tell me if I’m bothering you or you want me to leave. I don’t want to be a burden by showing up unannounced if you’re not enjoying yourself as much as I am.”

“I do,” Marinette said quickly, luckily stopping Adrien from speaking any more. “I do enjoy myself and I like when you come over. I think studying together is going to be nice.”

Adrien studied Marinette’s face and all he could see was her honesty and a little smile on her lips. He believed her completely and he felt content and calmer knowing that she wanted to spend time with him, too. Her eyes were sparkling blue with the hanging fairy light’s reflection, and her cheeks were tinted pink from the cold.

“And I really don’t see you as a burden, you can alwa- Mmph!"

Adrien knew exactly what possessed him to lean forward and capture her lips with his. She was kind and beautiful and selfless.

His lips moved slightly, learning the shape of hers, and he hoped that she would respond within the next couple of seconds or else he was definitely going to have some sort of nervous breakdown once he had to make eye contact with her and- why wasn’t she responding yet?

He pulled away slowly, holding in his breath because he was so nervous about how she was reacting (or, really, not reacting).

Her eyes were closed but he did watch as she opened them, her chest was rising and falling as if she was a little short of breath. Her lips were slightly parted and she just looked so kissable he was tempted to lean back in for another.

“-always stop by,” she said in a tiny, little voice, completing her sentence from before his interruption. Adrien was not embarrassed to admit that he didn’t even remember what the first half of her sentence had been. 

“Um… okay,” Adrien said with an unsure smile, completely losing all confidence he usually had with the suit on.

“Chat you-I-we,” Marinette didn’t step back but she did flap her hands awkwardly between the two of them and her eyes got wide as the kiss seemed to fully sink in.

Adrien lifted a hand behind his neck and massaged slightly, stepping back and away from her.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, or pressure you, I just...” He really liked her and wanted to kiss her: it was as simple as that. He knew he promised to tell her his feelings, but this one that came on so strong he didn't have time to talk about it before acting on it.

“I thought you were in love with Ladybug?” Marinette said with a frantic little shake, pacing a few tiny steps each way, before standing still again.

“I-I don’t know,” he said honestly. “Ladybug is great, she’s one of my best friends. But she’s not you.”

Marinette made a little choking noise at that and Adrien didn’t know how to respond. He let the silence come between them and felt the tips of his ears heat up. 

“You… understand, and she… doesn’t,” he said simply. He had tried many times, over and over, to talk to Ladybug. They patrolled together, but were all business. They enjoyed once in a lifetime experiences together, and views above the Eiffel tower together, but when he tried to talk about his feelings Ladybug would reject him. He trusted his partner with his life, a thousand times over, but he couldn’t trust her with his thoughts. Or… he was too terrified to find out if he could. Because being rejected and abandoned by Ladybug, his lady, was not something he was willing to risk.

“You tell me what you’re thinking, and ask for my advice. When I show you who I am or talk about things I need… you haven’t left me yet,” he said quietly. That he could even say something like this to her was telling in and of itself, at least for him.

“I wouldn’t,” Marinette said as her brow furrowed at the thought.

“Exactly. You’ve shown me that you wouldn’t, and I trust you,” he said again, more honestly than he had spoken to another person in years.

“Why do you think Ladybug would leave you?”

“I can’t even risk it,” he said quickly, his eyes widening in fear at the mere thought of being more open to Ladybug. “I can’t lose her.”

“So you-you’re willing to lose me?” Marinette said quickly, her eyes filled with hurt.

“No!” Adrien said severely, his hands gently coming up to hold her upper arms. “You’ve shown me over the last few weeks that you won’t leave me – I didn’t have to find out, you just… you’re just you and you... you like me being around. You listen to me, you let me listen to you, and I trust you. Ladybug she… she always has to leave. We have to keep things separate, especially our identities. She has to put her ideas first, because she knows the answers and she has the power to fix everything. She comes first between the two of us always, and always will. But with you… we both come first, we take turns with who needs the other more, and I really appreciate that,” he admitted in a tight voice.

"I don't want to lose you, either," he added softly. “But I trust you won’t replace me or leave me. Even if you don’t feel the same.” He swallowed, nervous.

Marinette stared at him with a thoughtful expression and he could see the gears moving in her mind. His nerves were on overdrive waiting to hear what she had to say. He had already spoken enough – way too much, probably – and it was her turn to share her perspective.

“Chat, you mean so much to me,” Marinette said in a small voice. 

Adrien sucked in a breath waiting to hear the word 'but...'

“I think understand what you’re saying, although I don’t believe it's entirely true. Ladybug would put you first, too, if you gave her the chance. You're not expendable. I’m sure she has a good reason for keeping her feelings to herself.” 

Adrien almost believed her but he didn’t say anything in response.

“I… I just need to think about all of this, Chat. You surprised me,” she said looking quite bewildered, so Adrien believed her completely. “I’m not saying no, I’m saying I need to think.”

“I understand,” he said with a small smile because he did. “I will leave you to your thinking, Princess.”

He took another few steps back before bowing dramatically and withdrawing his baton. Marinette giggled before giving him a tiny wave and watching him disappear into the night.

Marinette’s POV

Marinette’s heart was breaking for Chat. The only word bouncing around her skull was sad. Chat looked sad. Not about her reaction but about his own perspective on himself. He was scared of people – she and Ladybug – leaving him. He told her that he wasn’t used to ever coming first, and that made Marinette feel completely wrecked.

She considered her own life: friends and family, and all the people who would put her first. Her parents, for certain. And her friends, if she asked. Marinette wasn’t afraid to ask for help when she needed it. But Chat clearly was terrified to do just that.

She tried to separate the small waves of pity from her genuine, actual feelings for Chat. She wanted to make a choice based on her true feelings, not out of guilt or sadness. She was being honest when she told him she wasn’t saying no. Over the last few weeks she had gotten to know Chat on an entirely different, and not unpleasant, level.

He was kind and resourceful, and raw. That was the best word for him and Marinette found it refreshing. She truly believed him, trusted him, and loved his honesty. He was goofy and playful, but had more depth to him than he ever showed her as Ladybug. To Ladybug he was a self-assured, goofy powerhouse, always certain and decisive. He was her solid rock who could, and would, always make her smile. As Ladybug she never felt the need to make him smile.

As Marinette, she found herself completely agreeing with how he described it: she was able to put him first, and he accepted her support with reverence. He told her his feelings, his doubts, and his fears. She, in turn, was able to lean on him for support, kindness, and reassurance with her civilian-life struggles. An uncomfortable bubble of guilt formed when she realized that she did reciprocate those things as Ladybug.

As Ladybug, he relied on her partner to follow her lead and took advantage of his always-accommodating nature. He was correct, she was more guarded when it came to getting emotional with Chat. She wanted to prove to him and the watching world that she was the leader they deserved. Good leaders weren't vulnerable. Good leaders didn't allow their partners to be akumatize into all-white versions of themselves.

Still, Marinette couldn’t help the flood of thoughts about Adrien. Chat was in love with Ladybug but admitted that he would always have to put her first, before himself. In a way that honest admission made her skin crawl because she related to that feeling almost completely when she thought of Adrien. After years of pining for (of loving) Adrien, she was fairly certain that she would do anything for him at the expense of herself.

That didn’t sound healthy or right. It was a hard truth to face. She remembered vividly the hurt in her heart when she tried to support him on his date with Kagami at the museum. Or the time she made him a scarf for his birthday gift and allowed him to believe it was his father who made it.

He was oblivious to it all. It was unbalanced. It wasn’t his fault; he didn’t know the depth of her feelings. But he also didn’t reciprocate them after all these years.

Maybe loving someone didn’t mean putting them first one hundred percent of the time. Maybe it didn’t mean putting their happiness above your own, above all else. 

Maybe loving someone meant supporting one another, supporting someone who could and wanted to support her back evenly. Adrien had never shown interest in supporting Marinette on a deeper emotional level. And, she cringed admitting it to herself, she had never put Chat’s feelings on a pedestal as Ladybug. She treated him as a friend, there for support if he asked, but kept a distance when it came to anything deeper than superhero, surface-level issues. As Ladybug she didn’t even know his toughest problems.

She would like to think that if Chat had approached Ladybug as vulnerable as he had approached Marinette she would have responded the same. The problem was that Chat would never have been so vulnerable to Ladybug and that, she decided, bothered her greatly. She had put up a harsh front over the years; and he was too focused on putting Ladybug first to talk about himself. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

Marinette could have laughed at the irony: Ladybug and Chat would never have a perfectly healthy relationship, and (by the looks of it) neither would she and Adrien. But… maybe Marinette and Chat had a chance. And hopefully down the line Adrien would find someone who could provide that balance for him, too.

But was she ready to let go of Adrien? Was she really ready to let go of hope that her crush could love her back the same way she loved him?

Her eyes began to water at the mere thought of losing Adrien, one of her dearest friends and someone she had grown so hopeful about. She had dreams and she didn’t want to lose them; she cherished the idealistic optimism that had built up over the years.

Chat, however, was real. Her feelings for him were also undeniable. She felt a connection to him, she felt drawn to him, and the idea of building a future with him sounded exciting and tangible in a way it never felt with Adrien. She also knew she could never, ever part with Chat. Chat was her soulmate in a way that was beyond romance. He was her other half, as Ladybug and, it seemed, as Marinette.

“Ladybug and Marinette are the same person! Sometimes I wish you remembered more easily, since both of you are amazing!” Tikki’s constant words of reminder echoed in her head.

If Chat was her other half as both Ladybug and Marinette then… Now what?

Chapter Text

Adrien was eager, although nervous, to visit Marinette again. When he saw her at school it was almost painful to force himself to not look at her more than a normal classmate should. Marinette was always a little anxious at school – tripping, dropping things, and jumping between conversations; he just assumed she didn’t love the environment. When he visited her at home she was much more at ease. So, when he noticed that she seemed a little more relaxed the last few days he took it as a good sign. In fact, he was certain he caught her daydreaming more than once. 

He tried not to get too excited at the prospect of being the star of said daydreams. 

Regardless of the anticipation, he was patient. He told her that he would give her time to think and as the days crept onward he reminded himself to slow down and honor that request. Kissing her had been impulsive, but a decision he made after about a week of sorting out his feelings for Marinette and Ladybug. Marinette deserved time to sort out her feelings, too. He didn’t want to rush her or give her the impression that he was trying to push her into anything. He wanted to do it right, not as eagerly as he had approached Ladybug in the early days of his first crush.

But damn did he miss her. A lot. Every night he was itching to go to her balcony. He wanted to talk to her, see her, and laugh with her. Sure, he wanted to kiss her, too, but he would have been fine not doing that. He really just missed her friendship. It was great being able to see her at school but he wasn’t truly able to be himself with her there.

He lasted four days and he was proud of himself for it. He ended up caving into the urge only when Plagg prompted him to visit Marinette after watching Adrien pace around his room irritably for the fourth night in a row.

“Hi!” Marinette was the first to say hello before Adrien’s feet even touched the surface of the balcony. He made sure to approach from her front so he wouldn’t surprise her. Adrien smiled at her enthusiasm, glad that he was welcome. It had to be a good sign.

“Hello, Princess. How have you been?” (Since I kissed you.)

“Pretty good, I’ve done a lot of thinking recently.” Marinette was on her feet and stepped a little closer to him, but not a particularly flirty distance.

“Oh? About what?” Adrien’s heart fluttered a little with the now-familiar anticipation.

“About when we’re going to start studying together,” Marinette responded cheekily and Adrien grinned.

“I wanted to give you some time to think everything over and decide on how you’d like to proceed with… studying.”

“When you didn’t show up for a few days I was nervous I’d scared you off,” she said a little more bashfully this time, but she took another step towards him.

“No way. This cat is fur-less.” He stood up straight and posed with his muscles flexed.

“Furless?” She giggled at the bad pun. “Yes, I’d like to think you have no fur under that suit.”

“Do you think about what’s under my suit often?”

Marinette’s eyes widened and her jaw slacked a little from the bold joke. Immediately Adrien wanted to crawl into a hole.

“I-I was only joking!” He was properly embarrassed, his own eyes wide. You’re such an idiot! he scolded himself.

“So, erm,” Marinette cleared her throat. “Do you want to study tonight? Or-or not tonight? It’s pretty late. I’ve been working on my portfolio.” 

She walked to her chair and picked up her sketchbook. Adrien jumped at the opening to change the subject and replied eagerly, babbling somewhat. 

“Of course. Yeah, it’s pretty late and I didn’t bring my notes. Next time I’ll come prepared. But I would love to see your designs, I’m sure they’re amazing.”

“Fine, but promise me you won’t laugh if they’re hideous, and you have to tell the truth if you don’t like them. I need total honesty.” Marinette stood with a very serious look on her face.

“Superhero’s honor.” Chat dutifully saluted and accepted her offered sketchbook.

"I did this one like we talked about, I even made some mistakes and didn't tear it into pieces! You can see the faded lines and where I erased some of the edges. But I did it." Marinette shuffled her feet nervously and opened her sketchbook between them. She pointed at the parts she was referring to. They were standing shoulder-to-shoulder and Adrien was all-eyes on her designs. 

“These are all inspired by Autumn. I try to do this every season: come up with five to ten designs and outfits that are all completely original. It’s practice for when I, hopefully, can start my own fashion line.”

"They’re really beautiful, Marinette." He examined her designs carefully before he looked up and away from the sketchpad. Marinette was watching him intensely, and reached forward to take the sketchbook from him. Their hands brushed and his fingers twitched to hold onto hers. Without looking away from him she set the book down on the ledge and turned her body towards him so they were toe-to-toe.

"Chat, would you... would you kiss me again? Please?" Her cheeks were bright red but she looked determined. 

Adrien swallowed, his own heart racing. He couldn't help his eyes from flickering to her lips; he didn't want to miss his target. He was so nervous, but the attraction he felt towards her was greater than his nerves. So he leaned down and their lips met.

It was... fine. Then they adjusted the position of their lips, shifting their bodies slightly, testing it out, and it got better. More right. He pulled back a little and went in for a second short kiss and by his third attempt it was perfect. Her lips were smooth and plump and he loved the shock that jolted though his entire body from the pressure of her lips against his. He felt a tug of pride when she sighed, pushing towards him with more pressure. If he was already this good at kissing Marinette... well, he couldn’t wait to master the art.

A few kisses later he straightened himself, separating them, and couldn't contain the satisfied grin on his face. Marinette was still blushing but the small, content smile on her face was unmistakable.

"That was nice. Really nice," he said with a grin. Marinette leaned forward and buried her face into his chest, but she giggled at his words. Her hands covered her cheeks, hiding her blush. His arms encircled her in a wonderfully comfortable hug and he pulled her as close as he could.

"Yeah it was." Her words were muffled against his chest but unmistakable. 

They stayed together in comfortable silence, embracing each other and the reality of their positions.

He kissed Marinette. Multiple times. He kissed someone other than Ladybug, who he previously hoped would be his first real kiss, and it had been amazing. The relief and comfort he felt was something he wanted to hold onto. When he recalled the desire to kiss Ladybug his mind recoiled. It was no longer something that sounded particularly appealing. He wanted to kiss Marinette again. And again. And again…

He grinned and squeezed his arms around her tightly for a few seconds before taking a few steps away, separating the two of them. He kept his hands on her upper shoulders and memorized her face as she looked up at him happily. She was happy as he was (he hoped).

"It’s late and we both know I am a pur-fect gentlecat, so I think it's best for me to head home now." He was moving his thumbs in small circles, massaging her arms in his loose grip.

"I-I really like you," Marinette said quietly, sounding almost shocked at herself by the admission. But Adrien was just happy to hear it.

"I like you, too. I like how light-hearted you are, how you always see the best in people, how kind you are, how you're selfless, and mostly I like the snacks you always have for me." He smiled down at her. He really did like her, and could easily go on for minutes, but he didn't want to scare her off with his intensity. He had learned plenty after years of pursuing Ladybug and he’d taken notes.

"Thank you," she said with a grin. "I'm happy to share sweets with you any day."

He pulled her in for another brief hug and couldn't help but kiss the top of her head during the exchange.

"See you soon, Marinette." He backed away, keeping his eyes on her for as long as possible.

"Goodnight, Chat," she smiled and watched him turn to leave, his black silhouette disappearing into the night.

If he thought seeing her at school before was difficult, it was nearly impossible now. After the first two hours of the school day he stopped trying to hide it, and turned around to glance at her as often as he could. He brought up mundane questions about the lessons and had even asked her for a piece of paper despite having not one but two of his own notebooks on his own desk. She looked so happy, and so was he. He didn’t remember the last time he felt so content and he was going to ride the wave for as long as he could. 

Marinette was amazing. She was kind, even in class when she herself needed help with studying. She laughed often, her musical tone soothing his soul as it lit up the room. She was optimistic, which was another amazing facet of her personality that he liked to think they shared. He was sure that being around Marinette would only help him learn to be an even better person.

“Adrien.” Nino nudged him for the umpteenth time that day and he swiveled back around in his chair to face the front. “What’s up today, bro?”

Adrien just smiled and shook his head. “I don’t know, I’m just feeling distracted and wanted to check out what’s going on with everyone else.”

“You mean check out Marinette,” Nino whispered and Adrien’s eyes widened. Was he that obvious?

“Uh-no?” His attempt to deny it was absolutely pathetic but he didn’t want to deny it. In fact, he wanted everyone to know – he wanted her to know. He wished he could tell her…

“Dude!” Nino’s reaction to the truth was pure shock. “For real??”

Adrien smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck: busted.

“Dude...” Nino repeated and sat back in his chair looking dazed.

“Don’t tell her,” Adrien said quickly, realizing immediately after finally confessing it aloud that he had to do any and all confessions a certain way in order for things to not implode.

“You have to tell her.” Nino stared at him, deadpanned, and Adrien recoiled at the severity of his friend’s tone. He wasn’t expecting it.

“Why?” Adrien asked curiously, wondering what the heck Nino’s problem was.

“You just have to,” Nino said with a shake of his head. “Tell her after class today.”

“I can’t,” Adrien said honestly. He was Chat, Marinette was kissing Chat. He couldn’t just tell her that he was Chat Noir and start kissing her during the daytime… could he?

No. Ladybug would kill him. It was dangerous – dangerous for Marinette, especially. He couldn’t. And… would his father even allow him to have a girlfriend? His father picked Kagami to date him: Adrien didn’t really have a choice. Although Kagami’s somewhat rebellious attitude was the most appealing thing about her, she ultimately didn’t see Adrien for who he truly was. He remembered when they sneaked into the art room and she actually scolded him for bringing out his more goofy side. That was when he knew it wouldn’t work between them.

But his father didn’t care, did he? He still made Adrien pretend to date Kagami because he liked her. He approved of her family name. Would his father approve of Marinette? How could anyone not like Marinette? She was one of the nicest people he’d ever met and, most importantly, she made Adrien happy.

Maybe, if he could convince Ladybug, he could make this work. Or maybe he could tell Marinette even if Ladybug didn’t approve. After the last few weeks he already decided that he wanted whatever was happening between him and Marinette to last long. Should Ladybug really get a say in his love life? He didn’t really know.

“I’m not sure how my father will react and I don’t want to ruin anything before it even starts,” Adrien mumbled the half-truth to Nino.

“Dude, he really needs to back off. You need to stick up for yourself, for your own good. If you want to date Marinette then you need to make it happen – make yourself happy.”

Adrien had heard it many times before: stick up to your father, put him in his place, don’t do what he says. But his friends didn’t get it. His father was different and Adrien had to accept it and adapt to it. It didn’t mean it was easy, but he did what he had to do in order to keep his father happy. If his father was happy, then Adrien was happy.

Sometimes it bothered him greatly that his friends didn’t understand. Didn’t they see that he was trying to keep the peace? Didn’t they care that he was doing what he could? 

“Nino, I do what he says because I want to. I know he can be tough but he’s my father and… and I know how much it sucks to lose a parent already. I can’t lose him, too. Even if it means not dating someone right now.”

It wasn’t often that he explained himself to his friends, or even spoke aloud about it. His family dynamic was difficult to explain and it hurt to bring up his mother and the past. Other than the times he opened up to Marinette he wasn’t sure if he ever talked about it. That’s what made it so difficult when his father would freeze him out: the one person who could understand didn’t want to hear it.

“You’ll still have your dad if you tell him what you want, even if you disagree. He’s your dad. He’s not going to leave you.”

“I know he won’t,” Adrien snapped in a harsh tone, which clearly surprised Nino. He knew his dad loved him and he wouldn’t leave him, but it wasn’t about him physically leaving. It was about what Adrien would lose in other ways. His father didn’t want to hear Adrien’s requests, and was a master at avoiding things he didn’t want to hear. His father would come to even fewer meals; his father would make his schedule even more strict; his father would be less likely to listen to him if he went to his office; his father would be upset with him.

“It’s easier if I don’t do anything that might disappoint him,” Adrien said with a note of finality and Nino seemed to get the hint because he didn’t press any further.

“I’m sorry for getting short with you, Nino. It’s just difficult to explain,” Adrien sighed, hanging his head a little. He didn’t like how he reacted and was a little worried that Nino would be upset with him.

“No worries, man. I know how intense your old man can be. If you ever want to talk I’m here for you, even if it's just to vent. You deserve the best, I just wish your dad thought so too.” Nino bumped shoulders with him and gave him a thumbs up. Adrien raised his eyebrows, surprised by how accepting Nino still was after his minor outburst. If he used that attitude with his father it would have ended in a really stressful situation.

“Thanks,” Adrien said simply, not knowing how else to respond.

During physical education class Adrien tried his best to not stare at Marinette but it ended up being futile. Between Nino’s nudging and intentional steering of his person, he was interacting with Marinette near-constantly. They were currently practicing archery in small groups and it was highly amusing. 

Alya couldn’t pull back the bow string for the life of her. Nino couldn’t hold the arrows straight. The pair were both trying to instruct and encourage the other and Marinette and Adrien merely watched the show.

“They are… not very good,” Adrien said quietly, trying not to let his friends hear, leaning towards Marinette slightly. She smelled amazing, even without his hyper Chat senses.

“I think it’s sweet, trying to help one another.” Marinette giggled behind her hand.

“Intention is everything, I guess,” Adrien smiled at his friends and silently agreed with Marinette. He was happy that his best friend had Alya and that they were so good to one another.

“I’m surprised how good at archery you are. Where’d you learn to shoot and aim so well? You can hardly walk in a straight line most days,” Adrien teased and looked at Marinette, basking in the ability to stare at her since they were having a conversation.

“Hey! I haven’t tripped all day!” Marinette put her hands on her hips proudly, but her cheeks still turned pink.

“No!” Both of their heads whipped towards the cry just in time to watch Nino’s plastic arrow strike Alya straight in the face… Alya, who was standing behind him.

“Crap!” Nino dropped the bow and waved his hands in front of his girlfriend manically. “Are you okay? What hurts? I’m so sorry!”

“How did you even manage that, bro?” Kim said, sounding mildly impressed, from Adrien’s other side.

“I’m fine!” Alya said stiffly, shoving Nino away from her. “I’m done with this.” She huffed and walked towards the bench holding a hand to her chin. There was a small red mark but no significant damage. Nino hovered behind her looking ashamed. 

“Agreste, Dupain-Cheng, you’re up again!” Their teacher blew the whistle and waved them forward.

“Well, luckily it’s not a difficult act to follow,” Adrien said with a shrug, picking up the discarded bow and arrow. He was in position within a few seconds and ready to shoot.

“I’ll bet you five macaroons I hit the center in less tries than you,” Marinette chimed in. It was not everyday that Marinette was so competitive and playful with him as Adrien, and he was pleasantly surprised by the welcome change.

“You haven’t even seen me shoot yet. Are you sure you want to do that, Marinette?” He raised his eyebrows and politely offered her a way out before his first shot. Marinette gave a devilish little smirk and nodded, and Adrien had to physically stop himself from pulling her into his arms. She was absolutely adorable, but teasing was Chat’s game to play, not Adrien’s.

“If the lady insists,” he said.

“She does,” Marinette said casually. Adrien had to turn away before he did something much too Chat-like.

His first shot landed on the outer ring. As soon as it hit the board Marinette let out a bold little “Ha!” which was all too in-character for her. Whenever the two of them played video games she was, indeed, an insufferable winner. It was both endearing and attractive, and it wasn’t helping the whole 'I need to hide my crush on Marinette’ situation.

“My turn!” Marinette declared confidently. Adrien held out the bow after Marinette retrieved the arrow from the board.

Marinette’s arrow hit the bullseye on her first shot and she did a victory dance, which led to her tripping over her own feet, which led to Adrien laughing and Marinette pouting on the grass. He extended a hand, still laughing, and Marinette accepted, now laughing alongside him.

“Does falling invalidate the bet?” Adrien asked with a large grin as he watched Marinette push the stray hairs out of her face while she steadied herself on her feet. How this girl could shoot an arrow with precision but trip over her own feet was a mystery to him.

“Psh, no way! I expect those pastries to be hand-delivered to me first thing tomorrow, Agreste.” Marinette clapped her hands in congratulations of herself and skipped towards Alya and Nino, who were cheering for her from their bench.

Pastries, tea, flowers, a ring, his heart: he’d give it all to her. Adrien was a goner.

Chapter Text

Marinette's POV

Marinette was sitting at her desk, working on a cardigan she planned to give Alya. Weeks of drawing designs in her seasonal portfolio had her itching to create something, and what better use of her time and practice than for her best friend? At least, she was trying to work on it. Her mind was drifting and swirling with thoughts about Chat Noir. Since he started visiting her regularly he had surprised her beyond anything she experienced as Ladybug.

Chat had been one of her best friends since they met. She trusted him fiercely and in a way she would never trust anyone else. And that bothered her greatly. Because now that she got to know him better it didn't seem like he trusted her in the same way.

When Chat first started visiting her and talking about his doubts and struggles it was a shock to Marinette. Chat always seemed very confident and calm, pliable and accommodating. He went with the flow, and supported her.

But it turns out that the image she had in her mind of her best friend wasn't real. It turned out that the image he created for Ladybug wasn’t real.

"Tikki, why do you think he lied to me? Why does he act differently around me as Marinette?" Marinette set down her de-threader and sighed, giving up on the project. She was far too distracted and made a few mistakes already.

"I don't think Chat Noir lied. I think he is trying to protect Ladybug and be a strong partner. What he shows Ladybug is real, he just left out some other parts of himself," Tikki said wisely. "Think about what you don't tell him: he doesn't know the identities of any of the other miraculous holders. He doesn't know about Chat Blanc and how it upsets you. You waited a while to tell him about Master Fu. You didn't do that to lie, you did it all to protect him."

Marinette frowned. That was all very true. She wanted to protect him, and she withheld the truth often in order to do so. But...

"But I don't hide who I am. At least my personality was real. I'm not very different without the suit, am I?"

"You and Ladybug are one in the same."

"But Chat with Ladybug is very different from how he is with me as Marinette."

Tikki contemplated this before responding. "I don't think he is lying. I think he sees himself as Ladybug's protector and a protector has to be strong, not vulnerable."

Marinette considered Tikkie’s words. It made sense. Chat seemed to have some problems at home and with his confidence. Maybe with Ladybug was the only time he felt above it: confident and in charge. Sometimes a little too confident.

"He is sweet when he's not showing off, isn't he?" Marinette found herself saying idly.

Tikki giggled.

Marinette blushed.

She always knew Chat was very polite and creative (the romantic rooftop date she didn't have with him was a memory she would never lose). He was goofy and always made her laugh. Chat Noir was a catch... but something was always missing.

When it came to her feelings for Adrien she knew why he was so appealing. Adrien was selfless, sensitive, genuine, and honest. When Adrien spoke she believed him; he put his heart into his words and even shared vulnerabilities at times. It was endearing and maybe Marinette's favorite part of him.

It was what was missing from Chat. The genuineness.

Until now.

Until now Chat was all flare and dramatics. She rolled her eyes at his overt declarations of love and over-the-top puns. He was fun-loving and so likable in a way that could almost pass as... a character.

Perhaps it was a character for him, and one that he enjoyed playing. Could it be that, in reality, Chat wore more than one mask?

She thought about Chat Blanc and how angry he was, how wretched he was. He was heartbroken, sad, and angry. When Marinette first met him she was shocked that her partner could ever destroy the world (and destroy her along with it). It was difficult to imagine Chat as anything but cheerful and motivating. Now that she was seeing both sides of his personality, however, Chat Blanc made sense. Chat Blanc made so much sense that she wondered how the hell he hadn't been akumatized yet.

The thought of Chat Blanc terrified her still, although the akumatized version of her partner was 13 years old and now they were nearly 17. Yes, she fixed the timeline, but she was still worried that he could reemerge.

"Tikki, do you think we still need to worry about Chat Blanc?"

"I truly don't know, Marinette. That timeline was corrected but the future is malleable."

Marinette would have to gamble. She groaned and leaned back in her chair.

She had loved no one but Adrien for a long time, but Chat was very quickly sneaking into her heart. As scary as it was to admit, she wasn't sure she could undo what was already in motion. She was falling for Chat Noir. Hard. In a more real and bonded way than she ever felt about Adrien.

Loving Adrien was all in her head. She didn't even know how he felt about her, even to this day. Sometimes loving Adrien was more nerve-racking than it was exciting.

Chat Noir was an open book, and one she could (and had for years) already been holding close to her heart. She felt reassured and safe with Chat in a way she hadn’t experienced with Adrien.

"I can't tell him about Chat Blanc, he will put too much pressure on himself... he already puts too much pressure on himself," Marinette mumbled this aloud. Her choice to follow her feelings for Chat would be a risk she alone would have to face. 

"I can give him one of the magical charms!" Marinette realized suddenly. "We should have done this years ago."

"Don't forget, we know a Megamok can break a charm."

"Still, partial defense is better than nothing, Tikki! A few extra seconds could be the difference between escaping and being akumatized. Chat should have that extra protection, especially if I want to take this risk.”

Marinette stood up from her desk and started pacing, nervous energy taking over her.

"He said our love destroyed the world and it has scared and confused me for years. I didn't even understand how we could be in love. But I didn't see him until now, and now that I’ve seen all of him I know I could love him back, Tikki."

“I trust you, Marinette. You’ve been Ladybug for long enough that you understand the risks. I know you will make the right decision.”

“I will make sure Chat Blanc stays gone for good,” she said confidently.

Chat was now a regular visitor and Marinette had no complaints. He was fun to be around, made her laugh every single day, and was a great listener. They studied together and although she realized very quickly that he was much better at memorizing facts than she was, he was patient and understanding when she needed a second explanation. 

They had been working on physics for an hour – Chat’s best subject and one of Marinette’s worst.

“Too many facts, not enough wiggle room!” Marinette slouched forward in her desk chair and dropped her pen. “I need a break.”

Chat laughed and stood up from the chair beside her. He set down his own notes in an orderly fashion and Marinette squinted at the papers, jealous of the perfect way they were organized. How in the world anyone could be that meticulous was beyond her.

“Where did you learn to take notes like that? And memorize them?” 

Chat looked at her with a grin and winked. “Secret superhero prep school. I’m not allowed to divulge that kind of information – Chat’s honor.”

Whenever he responded that way she knew it really meant ‘I can’t tell you for secret identity purposes’. She supposed that was fair. Instead of asking any more questions she stood up from her desk as well and stretched. She felt like she had been sitting all day – first at school, then at home on the balcony waiting for Chat, and now studying with Chat. She jumped up and down a little bit to get the blood pumping.

“I wish we could go outside on a walk together.” Marinette stopped her stretching and looked at Chat Noir, only to catch him very blatantly checking her out. His eyes weren’t even on her face! She cleared her throat and shuffled her feet. “Erm, Chat?”

His eyes snapped up to hers and he blushed wildly.

“I-sorry?” One hand went behind the nape of his neck and he gave her a bashful look. “You’re… amazing.”

His eyes trailed down again and she felt herself heat up, body tingling. She blushed, unable to stop the fluttering in her chest when he was looking at her like that . His eyes scanned her face and his tongue poked out to lick his lips.

Marinette stared at his lips and swallowed, her brain instantly recalling the wonderful kisses they shared on her balcony. She wanted him to kiss her again.

One of Chat's hands came up to hold her cheek. She pressed into it, her eyes fluttering shut, and his lips were on hers.

She sucked in a breath and let her hesitation fly out the window, responding with enthusiasm as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer to her.

She didn't have any experience with kissing other than with Chat himself, and their earliest had been accidental, akuma-fueled kisses that, in her mind, didn't count. Their first real kisses the other night were all brief pecks. Despite her inexperience she tried not to let her worries get the best of her and followed what felt natural. His lips moved against hers, parting and then recapturing a few times before they got into a rhythm that made her want to never stop. She pressed her lips harder against his, stepping closer, and raised her hands into his hair to tussle and run her hands through.

Chat responded, pulling her forward while he walked backwards, and directed them to the chaise lounge. The back of his knees hit the cushion and he lowered himself to sit. They parted for just a few seconds, making eye contact and breathing heavily. He pulled her down to sit on top of him, her knees parted and settled on either side of his thighs. She was straddling him and they were eye to eye, her hands still buried in his hair and his splayed out across her lower back, hugging her close to him.

"Is this okay?" Chat asked breathlessly.

"Ye-yeah," Marinette said, her chest rising and falling so she could take in air during their brief pause. She felt like she was drowning in something... something amazing. She searched his eyes and the corner of his lip rose a fraction of an inch and that was all the encouragement she needed to dive back in.

It went on for minutes, never getting old. His hands trailed up and down her back and sides, leaving delightful goosebumps on her entire body. She felt like every nerve was being caressed, and some kind of natural instinct was awoken. They were chest to chest and it didn't feel close enough. She whimpered when his hands squeezed her hips in the most delightful way.

"Sorry," he pulled away from her abruptly, taking her noise as an objection.

"No!" She caught his hands at lightning speed and replaced them on her waist. “Stay… it feels good," she said breathlessly and leaned forward to recapture his lips.

She heard him let out a small laugh mixed with a... did he just growl? Oh my god... But his lips missed her mouth and instead he kissed down her neck, around her jawline, and when he started sucking on her pulse point she leaned her head back to give him more access because that felt amazing.

She moaned softly, completely taking herself and him by surprise, but it only encouraged him. He kissed back up her neck and this time she felt his tongue press into her mouth slowly, testing out the feeling. It was amazing.

She shifted and her hips suddenly collided with his lower half and her eyes popped open in shock when she felt him against the apex of her thighs. The sharp intake of his breath and subsequent groan echoed in her bedroom and shattered the heated moment as they both realized their positions and exactly how carried away they had gotten.

Marinette moved backward a little and Chat’s hands moved to the underside of her thighs, preventing her from sliding off of him completely and falling onto the floor. Chat's emerald eyes were staring into her soul and he was breathing heavily. She felt herself blush and looked down, then immediately squeaked and snapped her head back up when she realized that looking down meant looking directly at his little problem.

Chat laughed and then leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek.

"I... really enjoyed that," he said sheepishly and smiled. His lips were a little swollen and his hair was a mess, and his cheeks were very red. Marinette blushed to match him and stammered her own response.

"Me too, and-and I'm sorry for doing that." ( Oh my god did she actually just point down!? ) "Oh God! Sorry if pointing at him - it! - makes you uncomfortable. I messed up your hair and your lips are red too. Mine are probably also. And my neck. Oh no! My neck!" Her hands moved in super-speed and she spoke, pointing between them, then smoothing over his hair, and then clasping over her neck where she hoped there was not a mark.

She scrambled off of him ungracefully (Chat caught her before she hit the ground) and rushed over to the mirror on her desk. She made a little noise and started rubbing at the red mark as if it would lessen the visibility.

"Chat! Look what you did!" She whined miserably, now fanning off her neck with her hand.

"I think it looks great!" He didn't try to mask the pride in his tone.

"You're not the one with a giant red hickey on your neck. Gah!" She threw her hands in the air in defeat. "I'm a walking teenage rom-con cliche! I'll have to wear a scarf tomorrow! Maybe a turtleneck the day after... how long is this going to last?"

Chat shrugged, his hand running along the back of his neck, looking a little guilty.

"I don't know, I've never-um-done this before..." Marinette turned to face him, shocked.

"But-but you're so good at it!" She really needed to learn to think before she spoke. But Chat was now grinning like a, well, Cheshire cat.

"Well thank you, Princess, I'm furr -ly confident that I'll only improve from here."

"Hmph, well next time there will be no hickeys!"

"Next time?" He jumped up to his feet in excitement and barreled towards her. He swooped her up in a hug and spun her around, grinning while she giggled at his antics.

"Put me down, Kitty!" She flicked his nose and he laughed but obliged. His arms loosely held her but they were a fair distance apart.

"I've had a purr -fect evening with you, M'Lady."

It was like a magnetic pulse invaded the air and Chat sucked in a breath. He immediately stepped away from Marinette, losing all contact, and his face fell. Marinette's shoulders slumped. Right. He was in love with Ladybug, not Marinette.

Wait, was she getting jealous of herself?! Oh great... oh no ! This was a disaster! Chat's face was suddenly guarded and she could tell he felt awful. But Marinette knew that she was truly the guilty one: she was the one not telling him that this inner turmoil was completely pointless because she was Ladybug. He had fallen for her twice and didn't even know it! She privately wondered if he felt turmoil over his feelings the way she did about her dwindling feelings for Adrien.

"It's okay, Chat. I understand and I'm not upset. I love spending time with you and-and I don't regret anything and... I want you to keep visiting me."

Goodness, if he had said any other girl's "name" she would never be as understanding, but this mess she had gotten herself into was her problem just as much as his.

"Okay." His voice sounded so relieved and the tension in his shoulders reduced a fraction. "I really, really like you Marinette. Please believe me."

In spite of the conversation Marinette felt a smile creep onto her face. "I know, Chat." I really, really know.

"Okay. I'm sorry for the slip-up, I promise it will never happen again. I... I want to be with you. And maybe I'll always love Ladybug a little bit, or the fantasy I made up in my head for years, but I'm choosing you and you're real to me, and this is real to me. Ladybug isn't who I want. Not anymore."

The small declaration made Marinette's heart swell and burst all at once. Her love for Adrien aside, she had always been reluctant to believe Chat's declarations of love; she believed he was only in love with a part of her that was enhanced by superpowers. She often wondered if anyone would ever love her as Marinette, and not just as the superhero Ladybug. Now, after years of doubt, here was Chat loving her for who she was under the suit as well; choosing her for who she was in every way without even knowing.

Her eyes started to well up with tears. All this time she had been rejecting a man who would love every side of her. He always said he would love her no matter who was behind the mask. She doubted him for years and yet... here they were. She vowed to herself that she would never, ever reject him again. Her heart felt whole, and in that moment she selfishly basked in the truth that he was still blind to.

He liked her. All of her. And it meant the world.

Adrien’s POV

As soon as he said it he froze. M'Lady. Ladybug. Oh no, Marinette!

When she called him 'Kitty' it pulled the response from him on autopilot. It wasn't a secret that the superhero duo had a few common nicknames for one another; they were splattered all over the internet with '#LadyNoir'. Ladybug called him kitty frequently and he would respond with m'lady.

He was trying to collect himself – trying to come up with a reason that didn't sound like complete nonsense. He truly liked Marinette. Since he started visiting her regularly their connection had grown deeper than even the one between him and Ladybug. The explanation was on the tip of his tongue when she spoke first.

"It's okay, Chat. I understand and I'm not upset. I love spending time with you and-and don't regret anything and... I want you to keep visiting me."

Relief poured through his veins and he felt the beat of his heart return to normal, because he believed her.

"Okay."

He was lucky to have such an amazing and understanding person standing in front of him. He had come to realize that his feelings for Ladybug were mostly idealistic, a fantasy far from reality, and he wanted Marinette to understand that, too 

"I really, really like you Marinette. Please believe me." He wanted to reach out for her but he didn't want to come off as insincere. His words were everything in that moment. 

"I know, Chat," Marinette offered him a small smile and it encouraged Adrien to press on and tell her exactly what he was feeling and thinking. He trusted her so deeply and although he was still terrified of losing her, he had enough faith in her to believe she would stay.

"Okay. I'm sorry for the slip-up, I promise it will never happen again. I... I want to be with you. And maybe I'll always love Ladybug a little bit, or the fantasy I made up in my head and was chasing after for years, but I'm choosing you and-and you're real to me. This is real to me. Ladybug isn't who I want, not anymore."

He couldn't yet say he loved her, although the words were on the tip of his tongue. He didn't want to say it during this misunderstanding, when she may assume he was only saying it to trick or manipulate her to get her forgiveness. But he did love her. He loved her thoroughly and truthfully and it had happened so suddenly and unexpectedly he felt blindsided, himself.

"I want you too, Chat. Puns included," she stepped forward and grabbed one of his hands with her own and looked up at him with watery eyes and a soft smile.

He was pretty certain he was looking at the rest of his life.

Chapter Text

Marinette's POV

The morning after her and Chat's first official make-out session had Marinette in a frantic search for the correct outfit to hide the hickeys on her neck. Not hickey - hickeys. Multiple! She was going to throw Chat into the Seine if he ever did this to her again. She coated the marks with makeup, which really only dulled the red, and then began searching her closet for anything suitable for the weather that reached high enough to hide the marks. The problem was that one of the marks was a little higher than her turtleneck could reach. The next step was to find a scarf that matched, which was a battle in and of itself. 

When she finally entered her homeroom class she was extremely warm underneath the ridiculous layers and disorganized from running the entire way to the school. When she came to a stop she straightened the scarf and gave an awkward wave to her staring classmates.

Did they all know? Could they see it?

Her eyes scanned the room and almost everyone looked just as normal as ever: expected acceptance of her tardiness. Almost everyone did not include Alya, who looked highly amused as she eyed the scarf. Nor did it include Adrien, who was grinning as if Christmas came early. Marinette cocked her head at Adrien, trying to figure out if something was different about him. He wasn’t usually so… excited. (She knew, because even though she watched him less these days she still paid attention.)

“Hi, Marinette,” he said, almost laughing from whatever had him grinning like a fool. 

“Er, hello Adrien,” she gave a small wave and walked to her table where Alya was waiting.

“Nice scarf,” Alya said with the slightest hint of accusation (or maybe Marinette was just paranoid).

“Oh, yep, I'm trying something new today, heh…” Marinette adjusted her scarf to cover where the highest of her hickeys was and Alya nodded.

“It looks good, girl,” Alya faced the front and continued on, none the wiser. So maybe Marinette was just paranoid.

She set down her bookbag and withdrew her notebook for the class. When she was seated forward again she locked eyes with Adrien, who had turned around to face her. He was now a little less excited but still grinning. He waved and then immediately turned back to the front after being caught watching her.

Marinette rearranged her scarf and silently reprimanded herself: she was being paranoid. Everything was fine and no one knew a thing.

Marinette stopped in the girls’ room more times than she ever had, constantly adjusting her scarf and monitoring how well the makeup was doing its job. By the end of the day she was more than ready to take off the scarf and hide in her bedroom with a cool rag covering the mark, hoping it would make the swelling subside.

She was going to string Chat up on a line and let him dangle all night for the bats to eat him! If there was a way to feed that mangy cat to wolves, she would have done it - except they lived in the busy city of Paris and that meant bats would have to do. He was never, ever going to kiss her again. On the neck. For more than a few seconds at a time. On weekdays.

Ugh! 

“Can your magic cure this, Tikki?” Marinette pouted, poking at her neck even though she knew it would only make it worse.

“I’m sorry, Marinette, but that would be using the magic for your own personal gain and we can’t do that unless it’s an emergency.” Tikki frowned and sat down on the pin cushion on the desk. She looked disgruntled.

“I didn’t expect any of this.” She rubbed a little harder on her neck, her frown growing. “Chat… isn’t who I expected this with. It was supposed to be Adrien,” she sighed heavily and her shoulders sank.

Silence filled the room.

“Sometimes we have to lose something good in order to make room for something greater,” Tikki said wisely and Marinette smiled a bittersweet smile.

It wasn’t that she was upset it was Chat, she was just… uneasy that it wasn’t Adrien. She had Adrien in her heart for so long that being with anyone else seemed intangible. Yet there she was: sitting at her desk with a bright red hickey, already wanting Chat to visit again. She felt so content, even without knowing his true identity. He was Chat, her Chaton, her best friend, her ideal partner, her ride-or-die.

And she loved him more than she ever loved Adrien.

Admitting it raised her spirits as much as it terrified her. Knowing that she was letting go of Adrien was sad, but she felt ready.

She loved Chat Noir. 

She loved a man whose full face she hadn’t seen, whose name she didn’t know. She loved him and she was okay with that.

“Tikki, I need to tell Chat that I’m Ladybug,” she said decisively. “I need to give Chat a magical charm and make sure we can avoid any akuma disasters this time around. I’ll make one for myself, too. He needs to know who I am, Tikki.”

“It’s a risk, but you have to follow your heart. Ladybug always has the best instincts and you are no exception to the rule, Marinette. I trust you.”

“He won’t turn into Chat Blanc, not with me here for him. I will make sure of it,” Marinette said, becoming more confident by the second. “I love him, Tikki.”

“I know you do, Marinette,” Tikki smiled softly.

“Then it’s decided: the next time I see Chat I’m giving him the magical charm. And soon after I’ll let him know that I’m Ladybug.”

Adrien’s POV

It wasn't Adrien's first job fair but it was definitely the most nerve-wracking one he had ever attended. Knowing it was his final year before university added pressure beyond any of the previous years. He knew his father wanted him to pursue a business degree and possibly textile science. He had a stack of applications to the best business schools in Europe on his desk at home waiting to be filled out. Adrien intended to apply, just like his father asked. This job fair was, however, one of the few opportunities he had to explore other options beyond a quick internet search.

With Nino, Alya, and Marinette, the four friends meandered through the booths and considered their options, supporting one another with every new possibility.

Adrien couldn't help but watch with lovesick eyes when they finally made it to the design school table and Mariette gushed with excitement over her dream school and future career options. She asked questions about which classes were available, what kinds of real life experiences would be available from the curriculum, and how the next four years would be structured. Adrien was in awe and delighted with her decisiveness and meticulous planning. Adrien himself couldn't even plan for the next four months, let alone the next four years. Still, it was a treat and heartwarming for Adrien to watch Marinette's dreams begin to come true right before his eyes. He knew that she truly deserved it.

Both Marinette and Adrien left the design school booth with bright eyes and flushed cheeks, but for different reasons.

Alya gravitated to the telecommunications tables, and together they all learned that a lot more than any of them expected went into producing the news. After that, Alya also wanted to check out the best writing programs. According to Alya, although delivering the news was important, it didn't matter if the writing and reporting was sub-par. She ended up having to separate from the group for a short time in order to return to previous tables and cross-examine the recommended schools to see which had strong programs in both of her specialized categories.

While Alya flitted back and forth they passed booths of all types of nature: transportation, travel, education, social services, pilot training, forensic sciences, archeology; there seemed to be no shortage of topics and careers.

Adrien found himself drawn especially to the sciences: astronomy, physics, and biology. To his surprise, the philosophy table was nestled in-between the sciences and he made sure to take a pamphlet on the benefits of philosophical reasoning for scientific research. When he started talking to one of the lead astronomers from the Paris conservatory, Nino announced his intention to visit the music booths. 

He was left with just Marinette, who politely listened and occasionally asked a few supportive questions. Adrien couldn't help but smile whenever she asked for the details he surely would have forgotten to ask about. ( How many courses per term? What are the minimum credit hours? Does this school offer part time enrollment, or only full time? ) She even had a little notebook and was jotting down the answers for him; he could see 'Adrien' written in her neat script at the top. She had made a page for each of her friends. If he was transformed into Chat he most certainly would have kissed her more than ten times by now.

She blushed when she caught him staring but smiled kindly.

After they spent enough time at the science tables the pair headed in the direction Nino took off.

"I hope I haven't missed too much! I want to make sure to get good notes for Nino, too," Marinette shuffled ahead and hugged her notebook, searching for their friend. Adrien smiled again, always amazed and encouraged by her kindness.

From the corner of his eye he caught sight of a small table in the humanities area and stopped short. There was a large banner with a picture of a happy couple hugging a small child between them, a look of pure joy on the little boy's face. The booth title said, "Foster Program."

Adrien approached the table, distracted, and Marinette must have seen his change of direction because she was now standing beside him at the table.

"Hello there! We are here to raise awareness about the foster system of Paris and encourage students to consider volunteering to assist with social services and potentially one day become a foster parent themselves. We know you are still young but it is never too early to learn about the system and how you can help a child in need." The woman behind the table offered them two pamphlets and Adrien slowly accepted it. The picture was the same as the one on the banner.

It was... unsettling to him. He stared at the picture. Did kids ever actually feel that happy with their parents? With foster parents, nevertheless? Had Adrien ever felt that happy with his parents?

Maybe years ago... even years before his mother disappeared. Maybe.

"Thank you," Adrien said with a tight voice. The woman nodded nicely and Adrien's feet walked him away from the table.

"Is that something you see yourself doing in the future? Being a foster parent?" Marinette asked, pulling Adrien from his thoughts.

"Oh... maybe," he said, uncertain. Could he be a good parent? He didn't really have the best role models.

"I'm sure you will be a great father one day. If that's what you want," Marinette said, frowning.

"What?" He felt his cheeks warm at her unexpected words of encouragement.

"You... you said you aren't sure if you would be a good father..." Marinette said quietly, still frowning.

"I-oh-well, my father isn't around a lot," he said lamely. Flat. He hadn't even realized he was speaking aloud when he said he wasn’t sure about being a good father.

"But you're amazing even without him," Marinette said bluntly and almost immediately she turned bright red and started stuttering to backtrack.

"I mean, you'd be a great father - I think, since we're good friends - that kids really like you, and you are kind. Much nicer than your father. But then again who isn't? Not that your father isn't nice! I just mean he doesn't smile a lot, does he? But you would be good at it, being a dad. You're one of the nicest people I know. Yeah." She ended with a little awkward giggle and her face was being blocked by her notebook up to her eyes. She looked like she wanted to disappear.

Adrien laughed. She was just... adorable. And kind. And lovely.

"Thank you, Marinette." He boldly reached for her wrists and gently pulled them lower, unblocking her face from his view. He stared into her eyes for a few seconds until he realized that he was making a bit of a moment of it, and remembered that it was Chat that was falling for Marinette, not Adrien . So he cleared his throat, removed his hands, and took a step backwards. The last thing he wanted to do was confuse her. He was just realizing how much he really, really liked Marinette and he was already close with her as Chat. While the idea of Marinette catching feelings for him twice was enticing and did make him feel a little proud, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her or trick her for an ego boost.

"We should find Nino. You have some notes to take," Adrien said with a smile and started walking towards the music tables. He shoved his own hands into his pockets to resist the urge to hold Marinette’s hand. He made sure to slow his pace to keep up with Marinette while she collected herself and her blush faded.

He really, really loved making her blush. But he had to be mindful. So instead of sending her a flirty smile and holding contact with her pretty blue eyes, he focused on finding his best friend and did not at all for the rest of the job fair think about the color and texture and taste and shape of Marinette's lips. At least he tried.

Chapter Text

Sometimes Adrien felt like a rubber band. 

He could go months feeling normal and fine, and then suddenly he would feel stretched thin. His chest would get tight and he knew that he was on the cusp of snapping with every interaction he had. On those days he stayed quiet. He talked to his friends less, he avoided social situations, and he stayed in his room as much as possible.

He wanted to scream. Sometimes he would scream. He would sit on his bed with a pillow over his face and let it out. His eyes always watered eventually, and then he would start to cry. He would cry out the built up emotions and Plagg would bury himself into his hair, not leaving him.

After it was over Adrien would lay back and stare at the ceiling. Or turn on a movie and let it play in the background while his mind blanked.

When this happened to him it was usually because something bad was going on. He wondered if this happened to everyone... he didn't know. All he knew was that he hated being physically confined. When he started feeling emotionally confined on top of it, well, it made him want to scream. He wanted someone to listen. He wanted to be heard. He wanted everything to be good. But his father wouldn't listen to him. Natalie wouldn't listen to him. Neither cared when he tried to request a break or more attention or more food. Was he too demanding? Was it his fault? He would start to think, think, think, until even he couldn't handle the smothering thoughts and questions anymore – so he would let them out.

It usually had a catalyst. This time it hit him hard. Everything was going so well. His father heard him out just a week earlier, he was enjoying getting to know Marinette better, and he was starting to explore more options for University. He was sitting in the dining room (alone, always alone) when Nathalie handed him the newest copy of Fashion Weekly . His father was on the front cover.

"It is important that you are up to date with the happenings in the company. One day you will inherit the responsibilities and these tasks will be yours to undertake."

Adrien grimaced, knowing that deep down he didn't really want to take over his father's company. He didn't want to disappoint his father, though... but luckily the entire problem was one that he wouldn't have to face until after University. Every now and then he was good at pushing things aside: it was likely a trait learned from his father.

He looked down at the magazine cover and frowned. The photo was of his father and a young man at a dining room table, and his father was shaking the young man's hand. The cover said , 'Newest Protege of Gabriel Designs Crowned'. Adrien opened to the article and with every new sentence his heart sank a little lower, his frown deeper.

Every few years Gabriel held a design competition that would award the winner a position working alongside the top designers at the company. The last time this happened was before Adrien's mother went missing, so the announcement was huge in the fashion world. Earning the position automatically made the winner a top-tier designer and set up their future for amazing opportunities. It was truly a life-changing competition.

"Did my father approve of this article himself?" Adrien inquired across the room. Nathalie was still standing at the entryway of the dining room.

"Yes. It was first written by the marketing team before he adjusted the quotes to be more accurate. Running the company includes monitoring what is shown to the public and ensuring... selective insights. We mustn't give too much away, to allow for an edge of curiosity and interest, but we must also sound truthful."

Adrien didn't really care about the public's perception of the company. What he cared about were the quotes he was reading in this stupid magazine in his hands, and the photos supporting the article.

Adrien was a model. He knew how sets worked, he knew photo shoots were staged, and he also knew that smiling for a camera didn't mean someone was genuinely happy when the picture was taken. Still, it didn't hurt any less seeing what was on the page in front of him.

...Mr. Gabriel Agreste, known for his highly selective public appearances, opted to welcome his newest intern over a charming feast at the Restorante de Parlor… 

Gabriel and the intern were sitting in a dining room – in public – with wine glasses full and lavish food on the plates in front of them. Adrien didn't know the last time his father went to dinner with him. He remembered trying to coax him out of the house during the early months of his mother's disappearance. He would make reservations for two and wait by the front door for his father to appear. But he never did. Not once. Reading the article in his dining room sitting alone at the long table added insult to injury.

...he is a promising young man with talent that could rival my own one day...

In the next photo Gabriel was sitting up straight, listening intently as the newest intern spoke. His father appeared focused on the conversation. Adrien thought about the last conversation he had with his father and how he thought it had gone well... but his father hadn't made eye contact once, had he? If he wasn't mistaken, his father had been staring at the papers on his desk the entire time.

...M Rene has proven through his portfolio that he will revitalize the Agreste brand with his modern ideas. I am excited by the prospect of restructuring what has been our brand for many years. Change is a challenging but necessary task...

His father had a ghost of a smile on his lips in the next photo. It was probably fake, but Adrien didn't know the last time he'd seen his father smile. He stared at that photo for an extra few minutes, trying to gauge how fake it really was. And the quote? Excited to restructure? Adrien begged his father regularly to restructure his schedule or meal plan, anything to make it easier on him, but his father constantly fell back on the excuse that routines were important and the only pathway to success.

...I am proud of M Rene for the dedication and perseverance he demonstrated to earn the position...

Adrien tossed the article to the side. His father could say he was proud of some kid he didn't even know. His father never once told him he was proud of his own son. Did his father even see how hard he was trying every day to do what he was supposed to do? He didn't go out with his friends. He worked every single photo shoot his father scheduled. He went to every lesson and extra-curricular assigned, even if he didn't enjoy them.

Adrien was jealous of a magazine article about some person his father didn't even know. Seeing that his father was capable of saying these words to other people made Adrien want to yell and ask: why can't you tell me these things? How can you say it to strangers and yet to me, your son, the person you should love the most, you can't say a word? You can't change for me but you can change for your company? Is the company really more important than me?

The last thought made Adrien feel sick. It was a thought he had often over the years. He was haunted by the thought persistently the first year his mother was gone, when his father would lock himself in his office to work and ignore Adrien on the other side of the door while he begged for attention. Over the years Adrien managed to convince himself that, no, his father didn’t love the company more than his son – it was just his escape; his way to distract himself from the pain of losing his wife. But how long could that excuse hold up? How many times and for how many years would his father have to pick his company over his son for Adrien to finally believe the truth?

"I need to talk to my father," Adrien said in a flat tone.

"He is already at Gabriel this morning."

This repeated for the next three days. By the time he was awake his father was already gone. The second day Adrien woke up hours early and waited by the front door to try to catch his father leaving. But it was futile: his father exited the house a different way. Needless to say Adrien was overtired, cranky, and drowning in his thoughts.

Adrien hardly spoke to his friends at school and had no motivation to even stop at Marinette's. He was upset but didn’t want to explain, he didn’t know how to explain in a way others could understand. He just wanted his father. He almost felt like he was losing a parent all over again, or perhaps desperately clinging to whatever was left. 

Why, why , why ?

Why wouldn't his father talk to him?

Why did his father value a company more than his own son?

Why was his father willing to change routine for the company but not to make his son happier?

Was his father proud of him?

In between sulking he wondered if he was being dramatic. Was he taking the weight of a stupid magazine article too personally? Maybe he was. But he also realized that the magazine article was the most insight into his father's thoughts and feelings that he had in years. His father didn't talk to him: he talked to his father. His father didn't give him time: Adrien had to beg for it.

Maybe he was being dramatic. Maybe he was being over-sensitive. But after four years of it, didn't he deserve to feel these things? Was he really that dramatic, after four years of being treated like an unimportant passerby in his father's life? Adrien felt like he was going to snap soon.

Sometimes Adrien felt like a rubber band.

Marinette’s POV 

Marinette hadn't seen Chat for four days and she was getting increasingly nervous. Even as Ladybug she would patrol the streets hoping to meet up with her partner, but it was no use. She tried to call him on his baton but it went straight to voicemail each time because he wasn't actively transformed.

After the kiss they shared at her house and her decision to be with him solidified, she desperately needed to give him the magical charm to prevent him from getting akumatized. She wanted to tell him the full truth and she couldn't do that without first taking steps to protect him. After days of radio silence she was almost hoping for an akuma attack so he would be forced to come out of hiding.

Call it Ladybug Luck, but it only took one more day for an akuma to strike. It was in the middle of the school day and, of course, the actual akuma attack was on the opposite side of the city. They were the most difficult akuma attacks to attend because she would need to come up with an excuse while her school wasn't on lock down or in danger.

Still, she managed to escape her classroom, claiming she didn't feel well, and was halfway down the hallway when she nearly walked straight into Adrien.

"Oh, um, hey Adrien what are you doing out of class?" Marinette said quickly, trying to be nice but also rushing the exchange.

"I'm not feeling well. I'm heading to the nurse, see ya later Marinette!" He gave a quick little wave and practically ran off, no smile to be seen.

"I hope you feel better!" She called out after him, unsure if he heard.

Marinette frowned. He had been quiet that week and she wasn't surprised by him going to the nurse. He hardly spoke to any of them and when she managed to sneak a look at him he was usually staring off into space and frowning. She wanted to ask how he was, or if anything was wrong, but he kept managing to disappear during their breaks and went home for lunch. They all knew Adrien hated going home for lunch, so there must have been something wrong or he was extremely busy. Despite worrying about Chat, Adrien was still her friend and she wanted him to be okay, too. She decided then and there that when she returned home she was going to make him a batch of passionfruit macaroons.

"Marinette!" Tikki's little voice interrupted her thoughts and Marinette shook her head. Right! Akuma first, macaroons later...

Adrien’s POV

Once the akuma was defeated, Ladybug approached Adrien almost immediately. He wasn't surprised and was aware of her attempts to call him.

"Where have you been, Chat? I've patrolled the last four nights and you haven't been out once!"

"I'm sorry, Ladybug. I didn't mean to avoid our duties. I'll be better about it. I can patrol tomorrow night." Adrien sighed guiltily. He knew was slacking and Ladybug had every right to call him out on it: it was both of their jobs to protect the city, not just hers. She was already under pressure being the new guardian all alone. He had a responsibility to at least complete half of the duties of the heroes of Paris.

"Oh, okay. Is something wrong?" Ladybug was looking at him with wide, worried eyes and Adrien felt even more guilty. Here she was worrying about him, protecting the city on her own, and carrying way too much weight.

"No, everything is fine. I just had a few busy days as a civilian. I will cat -ch up on patrol tomorrow. I can also patrol tonight if you need a break." Adrien absolutely did not want to patrol that night. He knew for a fact that his father was going to be home and was anticipating talking to him. If he had to patrol he wouldn't be able to do it. Still, Ladybug and his superhero duties had to be prioritized.

"No, it's okay, I can handle tonight. I just want to make sure everything with you is good. You know you can talk to me, right?" Ladybug took two steps closer.

"Okay, thank you." He tried not to sound too relieved. "I'll patrol tomorrow." He withdrew his baton to leave.

"Wait! You should..." Ladybug hesitated and squinted. "Do you have anyone you can talk to?"

Adrien raised a brow because it was a strange question coming from Ladybug. And why did she think he needed someone to talk to? (How did she know?) Immediately he thought of Marinette and how he ran into her at school just before the akuma attack. Even as Adrien, she was hoping he was well. He felt bad about leaving her in the hallway, but between rushing to the akuma attack and avoiding everyone so he wouldn't snap at them, he thought it was best to leave as quickly as possible.

He knew when he got like this he could be unpleasant to be around. He all but yelled at Nathalie the day before when she brought him his dinner that was missing a roll. He was hungry but apparently his dinners would have to include less carbs now because his breakfast included more in order to complement his morning workouts. The new meal plan was news to him since he still wasn't able to talk to his father even four days after the magazine came out and trying nonstop.

In general he was feeling miserable and afraid to let it out on his friends, especially Marinette.

"Chat?" Ladybug was frowning sadly at him and Adrien blinked to refocus.

Did he have anyone to talk to?

"I'm alright," he said simply. It wasn't an answer.

"Please, if something is wrong talk to someone you trust," Ladybug pressed and Adrien waved his hand dismissively.

"I'm fine, just busy."

"Chat," Ladybug stood directly in front of him, her arms crossed in that determined way that made him fall for her in the first place. "Promise me you will talk to someone."

He blinked. Yes, he had fallen in love with Ladybug's determination. But now it was Marinette that made him feel like he had a place in the world. Looking into Ladybug's blue eyes he realized the importance of his thought and... he suddenly wanted Marinette. Very much. Because the last few days had been miserable and she really did make him feel heard and valued.

"Okay, I promise." And he meant it.

“Thank you,” she said with a sigh of relief. 

“I also thought it would be smart to give all of the miraculous holders one of these.” Ladybug opened her yo-yo and from it came a solid black magical charm that could prevent akumatizations. She held it out, offering it to him.

He frowned but accepted the charm. “You think I’m at risk?” 

“I think we could all use a little extra protection,” Ladybug didn’t directly answer but eyed the charm.

“I made one for myself, too,” she said, which made him feel a little better about the charm. At least she wasn’t calling him out specifically as a risk.

Adrien nodded. “I’ll keep it with me.”

“I know you will, Kitty. Take care of yourself. Bug out!” She waved and disappeared between the buildings.

Adrien stood outside his father's office, shoulders squared. He practiced what he was going to say (and even made notes on flashcards). He had to stay calm, he needed to be stern. He had to be like his father: if he was like his father, his father would respect what he had to say. He hoped.

He didn't knock and instead walked in. Since Nathalie had scheduled an appointment he knew his father would be ready and waiting for him.

"Adrien, you need to be more mindful of my time. Convincing Nathalie to add you to my schedule was a clever but childish scheme – I've indulged you this once but I will not be tricked into scheduling an appointment with you again."

Pretty much every note Adrien made completely flew out of his mind.

"I tried talking with you for the last four days without an appointment. I even waited by the front door the other morning," Adrien explained in his best neutral tone, but was fairly certain he was failing at that.

"You mustn't have tried very hard then," his father said in an exasperated tone and gave him a fleeting look before turning his head down towards the desk. Adrien had to clench his fists to withhold himself from responding. He had tried very hard, despite following every other requirement on his schedule.

"What do you need?" His father asked impatiently. He was still reading something on his desk.

"Can't I just want to talk to my father about my life?" Adrien tried not to let the hurt bleed through his words but he was never great at holding back his feelings. That's why he was so quiet to his friends for the last few days; he was aware enough of his weakness to know he had to avoid interacting with the people he cared about when he was upset.

"You've interrupted my busy schedule to catch up?" Gabriel looked up for a split second, his lips twisted in disbelief.

"No!" Adrien backtracked, feeling a little flustered. He needed to focus! He had limited time with his father and he really needed to use the time to his advantage. If he wanted to be heard he needed to talk beyond his hurt feelings. He had to focus on what he wanted and be rational about it.

"I saw the magazine article and I hoped we could discuss what I read over dinner sometime soon." There. Finally he got it out.

"Do you want to learn about the business? I can set up a meeting with our internal advisers to have them explain the daily operations. I'm far too busy to explain it myself." Gabriel was writing notes on a legal pad now.

"I want to have dinner and learn directly from you. From my father." Adrien tried to reiterate.

"We can have dinner in the dining room."

"We haven’t shared any meals in weeks. We could go out to a restaurant and have a night out. You went out for that publicity stunt." Adrien, again, tried to hold back his bitter tone.

"Public appearances are important."

"And I'm not?" Adrien's tone was angry now, he gave up trying to hide it.

"Don't be childish," Gabriel snapped, his eyes finally up and looking at his son. "I work for my family. Everything I do, I do for you and your mother."

"Mother is gone. Mother is gone , it's just me, and you treat me like I don't exist either!"

"Do not speak of your mother that way!" Gabriel was on his feet, his hands resting on the table, palms flat. He glared at his son.

"Why not? It's true! Mother is gone and I'm stuck here with you. You're stuck with me. Why won’t you listen to me, be proud of me, or spend time with me? I do whatever you want every day and you don't even acknowledge it. You cut back my food again after you told me you wouldn't."

"I give you everything. I give my time to my company for my family. You want for nothing. You have everything you could possibly need: prestige and opportunities most children can only dream of having. You are being ungrateful and petulant."

"I never asked for any of those things. Of course I appreciate that I have more than most people my age but I would give it all up for my father back. I feel like I have two dead parents, not just one!" Adrien was desperately speaking at this point. He wasn't yelling but his voice was raised and he felt at the brink of tears.

"Your mother is not dead!" Gabriel exploded and Adrien took a physical step back at his father's declaration. "Don't you ever speak of your mother like that!"

"You're crazy if you think that. She would never leave us - she loved us! Why are you in denial, hiding away in your office? This isn’t how she would want us to live. She actually cared about me! Sometimes I wish you were dead instead of her!" Adrien finally yelled. 

He had never, ever spoken so ill of his father and the words were out before he could stop himself.

It only took a few seconds for Adrien to assess that he definitely deserved the explosion of pain on his cheek. He stumbled sideways at the impact, easily dazed from the force of his father's cane hitting the side of his face. He caught himself on a chair, managing to stay on his feet.

"Wait-wait!" Adrien put his arms up reflexively. He had to explain that he didn't mean it. He had to fix this right now!

"Get out of my sight!" Gabriel’s voice echoed in the small office and the volume paired with the throbbing of the pain on his cheek caused Adrien's ears to ring.

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it!" Adrien repeated. He looked up at his father with wide, pleading eyes. He really didn't mean it!

"I said get out!" This time Gabriel grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled (dragged) him to the door, wrenched it open, and shoved him as hard as he could out of the room. Adrien didn't resist, landing on his knees.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

I didn't mean it, I can't lose you too, I didn't mean it.

The atelier door slammed shut.

He clutched his hands to his cheek. It was throbbing. His cheeks were wet from tears but when he pulled his hand away it was tinted red. He was bleeding.

He hissed and balled his fist. The entire exchange was terrible. He was terrible. It all went so terribly. He hit the ground with his fist and focused on the dull thud of pain vibrating up his arm. Using that as some kind of anchor he pushed himself off of the floor and made his way back to his bedroom, willing himself to not run back to his father's office and beg for forgiveness. He messed up so badly!

He choked on a sob.

He needed to fix it. How am I going to fix this?!

Chapter Text

The following morning Nathalie told him he wouldn't be going to school until his father gave his permission. Her eyes widened only slightly for a moment when she first saw Adrien's bruised face. It looked worse than it felt, and he told her that. It was embarrassing to know that Nathalie likely knew how terrible he'd been to his father. Adrien wasn't surprised that he was being withdrawn from school. He definitely deserved it.

"Your father is awful," Plagg said darkly, sitting on Adrien's shoulder.

"You didn't hear what I said to him, Plagg..." Adrien said morosely.

"It doesn't matter what you said! He hit you!" Plagg huffed. "You were only asking for his attention. Don't forget I heard you practicing all day yesterday. He doesn't realize how amazing his own kid is. I wish you could see how great you are without needing him to tell you."

Adrien sighed. He did think he was a good son, for the most part. He did everything his father asked. So why didn't his father think he was worth anything? Still, that didn’t erase how he behaved the night before.

"I messed up what I practiced... I was really mean."

"Did you threaten to hurt him? Did you hit him first?" Plagg said with his own little huff.

"No, of course not."

"Then you didn't deserve to be hit either. I don't care what you said to him." Plagg crossed his arms and twitched his nose.

Adrien didn't reply, too tired to argue about it. He had a huge bruise on his face and a decent sized cut. He stared at himself in the mirror and couldn't help but disagree with Plagg and believed that he partially deserved it. He told his father he wished he was dead. How could he have said something so terrible?! Especially after what they both went through with his mother?

Adrien's eyes began to water at the thought of it. Again. He was yearning to apologize but he didn't even know how he could. It had taken four days to meet with his father, and that was when his father wasn't angry with him.

He stared at his face again. It was an odd sight. He fenced and always wore face protection. He was a model and had used makeup to make himself look injured in the past - but that was fake and for photoshoots. As Chat Noir he definitely gained more than a few injuries, but he never studied them before Ladybug's cure fixed the damage. His cheek was puffed and red, the worst of it was already a deep purple. Some small red spots dotted the outside of it. The cut was a shallow scratch, he had put antibacterial gel on it the night before and it looked decent this morning. He wouldn't be able to model for a week or two (according to his internet search about bruises). He felt guilty for feeling so relieved at that. First he was awful to his father and now he was putting the business in jeopardy by missing photo shoots. His father hated when shoots were rescheduled and he had at least 4 in the next two weeks.

He wondered when, if ever, he would be allowed back to school.

He wondered if his father would ever forgive him. He hoped he would. He had to hope he would, because if not, then what? Would he lose his father, too?

For some reason the thought didn't invoke anxiety like it usually did. Instead it made him feel numb and a traitorous thought popped into his head: Good.

He shook it away. No, that wouldn't be good. I'd be twice as miserable with no parents at all.  

He would apologize. He could fix this. He would fix this.

The akuma alert surprised him that evening because he realized that he would have to leave the house to go. He had resigned himself to the fact that he was going to be grounded and trapped in the house for an indefinite amount of time.

"Plagg, can you give me a full face mask today?" Adrien asked awkwardly and Plagg narrowed his eyes.

"You should let Ladybug see it! Maybe she'll come over and beat some sense into your father."

"Plagg?" Adrien pressed.

"Envision it and I will make it happen," he said resolutely.

"Okay, then I need a full mask today. Claws out!"

Marinette’s POV

"Chat..?" Ladybug did a double take and took on a defensive stance when the black leather-clad superhero arrived. His head, face, and chin were completely covered with an angular, feline-shaped mask. His glowing green eyes were the same as usual, if not more striking due to the full mask obscuring all of his fair skin. He had Chat’s build but it was impossible to know who exactly stood before her just based on looks, and she couldn’t risk being lax.

"It's me, m'lady." He bowed and Ladybug immediately relaxed.

"What's with the mask?" she asked, trying to be subtle with her suspicions. 

"I’m trying something new. I like that it adds another layer of mystery to my already alluring purr- sona."

Definitely her Chat. Ladybug rolled her eyes, relaxing. "Alright. Let's take care of this and we can talk afterwards."

Chat nodded and together they made quick work of stopping the akumatized victim and cleansing the akuma. When the city was repaired Ladybug motioned for Chat to follow her, stopping him from leaving abruptly. As always, he accompanied her without protest.

"Are you able to patrol tonight?" Ladybug asked once they were alone. She eyed Chat carefully, trying to figure out his new suit. She didn't love it. His blond hair was completely covered and it didn't showcase his jawline the way his normal mask did. She also found it a lot less expressive since Chat's mouth was covered by breathable black leather. She could see the contours and expressions of his face only barely and it was daytime. She wouldn’t be able to see anything at nighttime. The strangest thing was the cat ears, nose, and real-life whiskers . It was off-putting, and she decided that Chat without his grin, or the flush of his cheeks, was not something she liked. It cut off an avenue of his personally that was very much dear to her.

"Yes, I'll patrol tonight."

"And did you talk to someone yet, like you promised?" Of course she could guess the answer, and she wanted to make sure he would come visit her as Marinette that evening. She was still extremely worried about him. The new mask wasn't helping.

"I haven't had the chance yet..."

"You promised," Ladybug poked him gently in the shoulder and he put his arm behind his neck to massage it.

"I know, I know..."

"Keep your promise. Please." She was staring into his green eyes, glowing bright in contrast to the complete blackness of his mask. It was disconcerting.

"Okay," he nodded, almost reluctantly, and Ladybug truly hoped he wasn't lying. She couldn’t tell if he was frowning or not.

"I'll see you soon, Chat." She had to stop herself from hugging him before withdrawing her yoyo and swinging away - she would have to save the hugs for later.

Adrien's POV

Plagg was in complete agreement with Ladybug and was insisting he visit Marinette. Adrien was very, very nervous. After what happened with his father he was worried he may have another outburst and hurt Marinette. He was having trouble accepting how poorly he treated his father. He couldn't believe he said what he said…

But he also felt horrible for how he had been ignoring Marinette for the last few days. She didn't deserve that, and he owed her an apology. He really needed to figure out a way for them to communicate outside of their meeting hours. 

He was almost dreading leaving when he finally suited up (full face mask intact). He hoped she wasn't too hurt. He didn't want to hurt her. He missed her a lot. A lot a lot, and he was worried she was going to reject him. He wouldn't be surprised if she did. He really messed up! After the intimate evening they spent together he all but ghosted her. He was selfish and hardly deserved her.

On his way to her house he stopped at a small florist and bought a bouquet of pink roses. The florist had gushed over Chat Noir being her customer and even asked for his signature. She tried to insist he didn't have to pay, so instead he tucked the money into a display bouquet next to the register, hoping the woman would find it later. She asked if the flowers were for Ladybug and it was oddly exciting to tell her the truth instead.

"Ladybug is my best friend, but these aren't for her. These are for a special someone who has won over my heart. Thank you for helping me choose the most beautiful flowers in Paris for the most beautiful girl in Paris." He winked and the woman cooed at his antics which left him feeling a little warm inside. He was glad to know that people would be happy for him even if the end result wasn't 'LadyNoir'.

He stopped on a rooftop near her house. She wasn't on the balcony tonight but he could tell from the light illuminating through the windows that she was awake and in her room. She was so close and he was itching to see her... but he was scared. He was wearing a full face mask and hadn't spoken a word to her for six days. Even at school, as Adrien, he avoided her so he wouldn't say something stupid. What if he said something stupid tonight instead?

He took a few breaths and tightened his hold on the flowers. He could do this. Ladybug told him to do this. He wanted to do this. He missed Marinette and she was right there. If she was mad at him, he would leave. He wouldn't explode like he did at his father. He would stay calm and respect her.

He vaulted over and landed a little unsteadily but didn't give himself the chance to hesitate before knocking on her skylight window. She was outside before he finished knocking, barreling into him and forcing him to wrap his arms around her to keep them both upright.

"Chat! I've been so worried! Where have you been? Are you alright?" She squeezed him and he wasted no time returning the hold and burrowing his face into her hair. She was hugging him, she wasn't upset, she was worried about him.

"Marinette." Was the only thing he said, sighing her name like a breath of fresh air. He held onto her and she nuzzled deeper into his chest.

"I missed you," Marinette admitted in a muffled voice, pressed against him. She pulled away slightly to look up at him and frowned.

"What the heck is that?" She was pouting, her eyes roaming over the full face covering. He knew he was flushed under the mask.

"I – um – needed something different," he explained lamely.

"How am I supposed to kiss you?" Marinette said bluntly, looking very put-out. The unexpected question had Adrien smiling genuinely and fully for the first time in days. Less than two minutes with her and she was making him feel better.

"Someone's eager, eh?" He wiggled his brow and realized that she actually may not even be able to see it so he stopped. He hadn't thought about the limitations of the mask being with Marinette. His face was already half obscured in his normal suit, it was probably less than enjoyable to have a boyfriend... er... partner… person whose face was partially covered, let alone completely.

"Can you make it normal?" she asked.

He didn't know the answer. Did he want her to see his bruised face? Did he want to talk to her about what was going on? Yes, yes. But could he?

"I don't know... I-I think we need to talk first," he said with uncertainty.

"We-we need to talk?" Marinette's eyes widened at the famously ominous words and she took a small step back.

"No! Not like that!" Adrien closed the distance between them and hugged her again. "I just mean we should talk about how I haven't visited for a few days. I feel terrible about it. I got you these."

Finally he extended the bouquet out to her and her face immediately relaxed. She accepted the flowers and hugged them.

"Thank you so much, Chat, but you didn't need to buy me anything. You being here is enough."

"I wanted to bring you something. To show you that I appreciate you and to thank you for being so understanding."

Marinette smirked. "And how did you know I would be so understanding?"

"I hoped. I know that you're amazing and patient, I didn't mean to take advantage of that." She may have asked as a joke but he answered very sincerely because he wanted her to know he meant it. Her smile softened and she grabbed his hand.

"Let's go inside." She quickly raised the back of his gloved hand to her lips and left a small kiss and he grinned at her.

"Anywhere you go, I shall follow," he said, and although he was trying to lighten the mood he meant it.

Marinette hurriedly grabbed a vase from the kitchen and then cut the stems and placed the flowers in the vase. She brought the vase and flowers up to her room, where he was waiting patiently, and set them on full display on her desk.

"They're so beautiful! Thank you!" She bounded towards him again and hugged him, kissing him on the cheek over his obscuring mask. She led them to the chaise and sat down next to him, legs touching, her hand gripping his tightly.

"I'm sorry for disappearing for the last few days. I've been having some family issues and am distracted. I also tend to get a little... short when I'm stressed out. I didn't want to take out my bad mood on you." He wanted to be truthful.

"I'm always here for you if you're hurting. I will admit that I was a little sad that I haven't heard from you, but mostly I was just worried. Finally yesterday when there was an akuma, I saw on the Ladyblog that you were okay. Then again, today, although you were wearing this mask..."

"I’m even better now that I'm here." He put his arm around her and leaned against the back of the chaise lounge, relaxing himself. He was still very bothered by everything happening with his father but simply being near Marinette was soothing him. He wanted to bask in the comfort.

"Chat... what's with the mask?" Marinette asked again, looking up at him with wide, curious eyes. He wondered if she could feel his heartbeat increase from her position leaning on him. He looked away from her and stared at the wall across from them. He didn't answer.

"Are you hiding something?" she asked in a small voice and Adrien inhaled, but still didn't answer.

He felt choked up and clammy and remembered why he was avoiding all of his friends and Marinette to begin with. But he also liked being with her. Even with the waves of nervousness he still felt better with her nearby.

He wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell someone. He wanted to scream again.

Instead, his eyes started to water and he sniffled. Marinette shifted to sit on her knees and turned to him fully. She could see his profile, he still hadn't turned to face her.

"Chat..." She placed a hand on his cheek and he tilted his head slightly into it and closed his eyes.

"I'm not trying to hide anything from you. But I can't take off this mask right now because it will risk my identity." Because he knew if he showed her his face the rest of it would follow. He would want to tell her everything, and Marinette was Adrien's friend, and she was smart and would figure it out quickly.

"I don't care," she said sternly. "You are more important than a secret identity. If I find out who you are I will never tell anyone. I've never been akumatized."

Adrien closed his eyes, wanting so badly to listen to her. But... he couldn't. Ladybug had one rule and if he betrayed her he would never forgive himself.

"Ladybug would never forgive me."

"Ladybug will understand." Marinette sounded so sure of herself Adrien almost believed it.

"I told you, I can't lose her. I can't lose my Miraculous by breaking the rules. It's all I have."

"No, you have me. I will not let your Miraculous be taken away."

The corner of his lip twisted up in spite of his tears. She was so determined, it reminded him of Ladybug. Maybe he had a type? What would it look like for Marinette and Ladybug to face off?

Her left hand came up to cover his other cheek and she gently guided him to finally look into her eyes, giving her his full attention. Her eyes were blue and shining with confidence and everything he could ever want.

"Mon Chaton, take off your mask."

Chapter Text

He closed his eyes and knew another tear escaped, but he couldn't feel the trek down his face with the mask covering him fully.

He needed something. If the last week was bad, he wondered if things would continue to escalate? Would he inevitably cause more of the chaos his father accused him of creating? What if things got worse? Maybe it didn’t matter if things got better or worse, as long as something changed. All he knew was that he felt like he was drowning and he needed something, but he didn't know what. Maybe it was Marinette. Maybe it was his father. Maybe it was to tell the truth. He was so sick of wanting things instead of having them.

"Plagg... claws in."

He opened his eyes and her face was obscured by the familiar flash of green before she came back into focus. Not once did she look away nor did she let go of his face. But her eyes did get wider and the pressure on his cheeks increased for a split second before she fully withdrew her hand from the bruised side of his face with a gasp.

"Adrien?" She choked out his name and her eyes moved wildly to his cheek and to survey the rest of him.

"Adrien what is this, what happened? Adrien?!"  

Between the worry, confusion, and surprise, Adrien was unable to gauge how the reveal was going. Did he make a mistake? She still had one hand cupping his face. She hadn't pulled away. He stared at her, slightly dazed. He was staring at her as Adrien, sitting in her room as Adrien, she was calling him Adrien.  

“Don’t leave me,” he choked out, his eyes wide with fear. 

The world went out of focus, or maybe he was seeing clearly for the first time in years. His mind was blank, he could see Plagg floating out in the open, and he was gripping the tops of his thighs tightly. Someone else was finally seeing what was under the mask - both masks. Chat was Adrien’s mask, but Adrien wore his own every day of his life even without the Miraculous. Perfect Adrien, model Adrien, sweet Adrien, smiling Adrien.

Now Marinette was seeing him as he was: sad, lost, and alone. Bruised on the outside, finally reflecting his flayed insides. Years of behaving ‘like an Agreste should behave’; years of wondering if things would ever return to normal; years of accumulated shame, hiding that things weren’t normal. His family was broken, his father was broken, and he was the broken product of it all. He was the face of Agreste in every capacity it meant: as a model for the company, and as a true representation of what was underneath once the masks were gone. Pathetic, a tiny voice in his mind screamed.

"Adrien, Chat! Hey, please say something. It's okay." Marinette’s voice echoed from outside his mind, calling from elsewhere, drawing him out of his thoughts. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight, grounding him further. He heard her whimper a little into his neck and it made him return the hug with equal desperation as he resurfaced.

"It’s okay, I’m here, you're okay," she repeated over and over, not letting go of him.

He felt overwhelmed and he wasn't able to hold back the tears that were sliding down his cheeks, tangible without the mask. She wasn't rejecting him. She wasn't disgusted or afraid. She was right beside him, holding him.

He didn't know what to say. So he said nothing at all.

Marinette’s POV

Adrien was Chat Noir. Chat Noir was Adrien. Adrien was hugging her. She kissed Adrien (multiple times!). Chat Noir was Adrien. Adrien had a massive bruise on his face. Adrien was crying into her shoulder.

She hugged him, but her eyes were wide open, looking at Tikki who was floating behind Adrien's back with a frown on her face. She didn't look upset with Marinette for encouraging her partner to reveal his identity, she only looked upset about Adrien’s current state.

After the akuma attack and seeing Chat in a changed suit, Marinette inquired to Tikki if it meant Chat had accessed more of the Miraculous’s powers again. A couple of years ago they both had suit changes that came with additional strengths, although the first time around it was Marinette who got hers first. However, Tikki insisted that the full mask was merely a vanity change that Chat must have specifically requested from Plagg. Knowing that, plus his unusual absence and more sullen demeanor, had prompted a short discussion about prioritizing Chat's well-being over his identity. Tikki reluctantly agreed that if (and only if) there was a reason to think something was genuinely wrong with Chat then his secret identity could come second. At the end of the day, Marinette was the guardian and the final decision was hers to make.

Now that Adrien Agreste was crying into her shoulder and clinging to her, Marinette was piecing together things that were, in retrospect, very obvious.

She didn't have to guess how he got the bruise. Gabriel was an amazing fashion designer but being Adrien's friend she learned that he was a terrible father. The details about his food restrictions started to make sense, knowing his career, and Marinette felt guilty for not paying more attention to it. They all knew he wasn't allowed certain foods but it seemed reasonable since he was a supermodel. How Chat described it, however, was much more sinister, controlling, and restrictive. Adrien never said a word. Knowing Adrien was Chat Noir added a whole list of reasons why Adrien needed way more food than he was allowed. Allowed ... Ugh!

Marinette clutched him tighter as the pieces started to fall into place.

He was always trying to please his father. With his mother gone (likely deceased), he clung to his father and stood up for him, despite his friends' objections to a few of the rules and restrictions Adrien had revealed. Marinette cringed. His feelings didn't matter to his father and she already knew that: all of his friends already knew that. They all sort of assumed that Adrien knew as well and accepted his father's shortcomings. To his friends, Adrien seemed okay. He seemed fine.

Chat, however, didn't seem fine. Chat told her how trapped he felt and she was able to discern a lot from his behavior. He was constantly apologizing and insisted on doing whatever Ladybug said.

I can't lose Ladybug.

Of course Chat had a fear of losing Ladybug. Being Chat Noir opened a whole new world of freedom for him to explore. Being Chat Noir gave him the opportunity to be himself, and Ladybug was the key to maintaining that. It was jarring to realize.

Additionally, Adrien’s loss of his mother was bound to have created even more fears of abandonment. He didn’t even know where his mother was, if the new articles and what he told his friends was all true. His father was distant and, apparently, violent. Marinette would never be able to understand how the two people who were meant to love this boy had failed him so badly. Now he was afraid she would be next, and she intended to prove his worries wrong.

Here Chat was, suit gone, revealed to Marinette and risking the loss of his Miraculous just to tell her the truth. He was trusting her to keep his secret and to be a source of comfort for him. He was trusting her with everything, more than he realized, and it was not something she took lightly.

When Adrien had calmed she dared to finally speak up. His head was resting lazily resting on her shoulder while she threaded her fingers through his hair.

"Adrien, your father... he did that, didn't he?"

He tensed momentarily before nodding and Marinette closed her eyes briefly. She already knew but getting the confirmation didn't feel any better.

"Has he done that before?"

Adrien shook his head no.

That was good.

Marinette felt way out of her depth. What was she supposed to do? Parents shouldn't hit their kids, or trap them in a house, or restrict their food based on behavior. But what was she supposed to do about Adrien Agreste, heir to the Gabriel fortune, and his father's most prized possession?

"Please tell me what happened."

She finally pulled away from him and used his shoulders to all but pry them apart. For the second time she was staring at Adrien's, albeit bruised, face knowing he was Chat Noir. Her eyes locked onto his lips briefly and she had to mentally scold herself for thinking about how she had kissed Adrien Agreste.

He didn't seem to notice her distracted state. Instead, was reaching for her hand and gently maneuvering her into their previous position where he was relaxed against the sofa and she was leaning against him.

Then he started to tell her.

He told her about the magazine article and how he became jealous of the internship winner. Marinette knew all about the article and had read it herself. When she read it she had taken it as a sign that Gabriel cared about his company and was starting to reestablish his public appearance. She remembered even feeling happy for Adrien, happy that his father was finally coming out of his shell. She incorrectly assumed that meant Gabriel was being kinder and more open to Adrien, too.

He told her about his plan to ask his father to spend time with him. He said he used to ask him every week for months. Marinette couldn't imagine asking her parents to spend time with her only to be rejected and ignored repeatedly. But that was Adrien, wasn't it? Hopeful and kind and persistent.

He covered his face with his hands and choked on emotion when he told her that he said he wished his father was dead instead of his mother. Adrien expressed his regret and guilt for the cruel words. She could empathize with him, since part of her understood why he would say that. She would be lying if she said he hadn’t wondered how different Adrien’s life would be if his mother was the one still around, rather than Gabriel. 

And then Adrien admitted his father hit him (with a cane!), but his main focus was on how cruel he had been to his father. He said he deserved the blow to the face.

Marinette listened as Adrien called himself stupid, sensitive, and a terrible son over and over and over from start to finish. The first time he did it she assumed he was just being flippant, but then he kept repeating himself. And he didn't stop. He told her how useless and dramatic he was. Every other sentence he was putting himself down.

She wondered how many times a day he hurt himself like that. She wondered if he realized how completely wrong he was.

When he reached the end of the story he looked exhausted and lost.

"Now what do I do?"

Marinette didn't have an answer for what he was asking exactly. But she had a very different solution in mind for what she was seeing as the biggest problem of all.

"You need to stop talking and thinking badly about yourself. Immediately. Now." Marinette was borderline-angry in her delivery to him. It was the first thing she said after he revealed everything and it was a demand. She quickly tried again.

"You are not stupid. You are one of the smartest people I know. You are not sensitive, you are kind and generous and want to be loved. You are not a terrible son. You have done everything your father has asked of you, despite not wanting to do a lot of it. You want your father to love you and that isn't a crime. Was what you said cruel? Yes. But you were bound to react eventually. You reacted and you made a mistake with your words. Mistake or not, your feelings matter and they are not stupid or evil or dramatic." She pressed her forehead to his. "Your feelings matter, Adrien."

He just stared down at their entwined hands.

"Adrien," she released his hand and lifted his chin so he had to look at her. “Adrien what if I called myself stupid, dumb, dramatic, or terrible? What if you heard me doing that?"

"You're none of those things! Not at all!" He frowned at her words, objecting immediately.

"Neither are you. You are none of those things. You are amazing. I know you as Adrien and I know you as Chat Noir, and I'm telling you after four years of being around you almost every day: you are a fantastic person and those things you are telling yourself are wrong. You need to stop doing that."

"But my father has known me his whole life. He would know best, wouldn't he? Maybe you don't see the real me... not the way he does."

"I see you and I love every single part of you. You are amazing. You are kind. People react to bad situations badly, it's human. You're not perfect but please trust me. I know who you are and I am nothing but proud, no matter what your father says."

Adrien basically attacked her with his lips, surprising Marinette and rocking her backwards just a bit. He continued to grasp her hand tightly and wrapped his other arm around her to support her back and hold her closer.

Marinette kissed him back. Adrien... Chat. However, she pulled away relatively quickly. It didn't feel right kissing him with how intense everything was in that moment.

"Please let me kiss you," Adrien groaned as Marinette moved away. Once again she stared at the bruise on his face. It made her so angry.

"I-I don't like kissing you when you're this upset. I want you to feel better first, then kiss me; not kiss me to feel better."

He nodded solemnly and pulled away. "You do make me feel better. I felt better as soon as I saw you on the balcony."

Marinette smiled. "That means a lot to me. You make me happy too."

She leaned against him again, her mind still working hard to take in everything she learned in such a short amount of time. They sat together in silence for a few minutes until Marinette suggested they lay down and watch a movie. Together they made a makeshift bed on the floor with blankets and pillows, and then set up her laptop. It wasn't glamorous but they were able to cuddle.

Adrien fell asleep quickly, holding onto her hand, and it gave Marinette time to talk to both Tikki and Plagg in hushed voices about what she learned.

"He is a terrible parent. I hate him." Plagg was very disgruntled. "Adrien won't listen to me, I keep telling him to leave. He thinks his father will change."

"Do you think he is in danger staying at home?" Tikki asked.

"No," Plagg sighed reluctantly. "Maybe in danger of going insane, though. Sometimes he sits and stares at the wall for hours, not saying a word. It’s gotten worse lately."

"Well now you can convince him to come here whenever he is upset," Marinette whispered, finding that to be a very simple solution.

"That may be okay for a little while, Marinette, but Adrien needs to learn how to face this, not just use you as a distraction. What if he gets used to coming here and then one day he can't? He'll still just stare at the wall alone at home. It's not going to fix what's wrong."

Marinette wanted to cry. She was Ladybug, she saved Paris every week. She should be able to help her partner.

"What do we do?" she asked the question on all of their minds.

"He needs to realize his father is a lost cause," Plagg said.

"Adrien is so nice and he sees the best in everyone..." Marinette frowned. Convincing Adrien to give up on his own father would be difficult, if not impossible. She didn't want to be the one telling him to do that! What if Adrien started hating her for trying to separate him from his father? She voiced these concerns to the kwamis and Tikki at least agreed.

"Yeah, maybe we just let Adrien stay where he is and Gabriel will knock enough sense into him one day with his cane!" Plagg said with bitter sarcasm, no longer trying to keep his voice lowered.

"Plagg!" Marinette gasped, shocked by the kwami's words.

"You don't have to see what I see, you don't have to watch him suffer like I do!" Plagg pointed an accusatory finger between Marinette and Tikki. Marinette's heart broke a little. Now that she knew the truth she wondered if she was going to feel like Plagg soon. She knew she wasn't going to be able to sit back and watch Adrien hurt.

"Plagg-," Marinette said softly and was about to explain herself when Adrien’s voice cut her off.

"Plagg?" Adrien sat up lazily and blinked a few times, looking between Marinette and Plagg. Tikki had zoomed away immediately.

"Good morning sunshine, we were just getting to know each other," Marinette quickly said and rolled to kiss Adrien's mask-less cheek. He laid back down with a little groan and rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair.

Watching Adrien wake up is adorable, Marinette couldn't help but think.

"I hope he was being nice. Plagg loses his manners sometimes."

"I've been a real charmer, don't worry. She even told me where the cheese was stored." Plagg disappeared then, Marinette watched him glide to the hidden miracle box.

"What time is it?" Adrien sat up and touched the computer mouse, making the time appear on the screen. It was well after midnight.

Marinette sat up next to him and sneaked another glance. How could she have been so lucky? With everything that happened she hardly got to register the fact that the boy she was in love with for four years was the same boy that finally got her to move on from her crush. She would have to tell him. And about being Ladybug, which was a whole other mountain to climb. Mostly, she just wanted to be honest with him. He trusted her with his secrets and she wanted to show him she trusted him as well.

"What's going on up there," Adrien poked the side of her head and then tangled his fingers into her hair gently, trailing his fingers down to her neck. She leaned slightly into him and made a content little 'hmm' noise.

"Just thinking about how happy I am that you told me the truth. I appreciate you trusting me."

"I don't think I've ever trusted anyone as much as I trust you, Marinette." His hand made its way down her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps, and he grasped her hand. He pulled it towards him and kissed the back of her hand twice.

"I could really, really get used to this," Marinette said aloud, smiling at his adoration.

"I expect nothing less." He kissed her hand again. "So you're not disappointed it's me? That I lied to you? That I'm someone you know, and not a complete stranger?"

Marinette felt herself flush and she began to stutter over her words.

"No! No of course not! A stranger was what I was expecting, sure, but you – um – Adrien Agreste is great, too. I'm great – it’s you! I mean... you're great, I'm great, we're great!" Okay, so she was still incapable of admitting to Adrien her crush on him…

Marinette smacked her palm to her forehead. "I'm such a spazz!"

Adrien laughed and grabbed her hand away from her face.

"Yeah, but you're my spazz. As long as you still want to be... after everything..." he said shyly and it was like a switch was flipped. Seeing Adrien need a confidence boost boosted her own confidence. She could be brave for both of them.

"Yes, it's all I've wanted for... a long, long time actually.” She nodded firmly and decided to continue. "You know, before Chat landed on my balcony and swept me off of my feet with his optimism, jokes, and charm I maybe had a small crush on... you, Adrien. For a little while."

His eyebrows raised at the revelation.

"You had a crush on me?" Adrien said, bewildered, and Marinette giggled.

"Only since the day we met and you gave me your umbrella, buttercup," Marinette admitted, now feeling shy herself.

"Buttercup? That speech was for me? Wh-really? You never told me... I... wow," Adrien searched her face and then smiled, disbelief still adorning his face. "I'm sorry it took me so long to see you. I guess I was a little preoccupied with becoming a superhero and, well, Ladybug.” He sounded slightly guilty, and Marinette shrugged hoping it appeared more understanding than dismissive. She wasn’t ready to discuss that secret - not yet. Not until she had more time to digest everything she learned and reconcile her new reality.

“I'm the happiest I've ever been with you in my life like this. I want you to know that,” Adrien said eagerly, squeezing her hand.

"Me too, Chat." Marinette’s heart was beating fast, swelling with both love and fear, a confusing cocktail of emotions. 

"It's late and Nathalie is going to check on me first thing in the morning. Even though I can't go to school, I think I’ll need to wake up early for my personal trainer."

Marinette nodded and tried not to let her emotions get the better of her. She didn't want him to go back to that place but she also knew he had to.

"Come back to me tomorrow," she said looking up at him. They were standing at the bottom of her staircase that led to the balcony. "You can text me now, too. Keep me updated."

"I will, I promise." He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips, sealing his promise. Marinette cupped his cheek and grazed her fingers over his bruised skin, eyes locked on the cut. She tried not to let her fear overwhelm her and set her shoulders before letting her hand fall and stepping away.

"Plagg, claws out!" Once again he was her partner and favorite superhero of Paris, this time with his regular half-mask and blond hair visible. In the cover of night the full mask was no longer needed to hide the bruise.

"Wait!" Marinette exclaimed, suddenly remembering something. She scurried over to her backpack and from the top of the bag withdrew a small gift box of treats.

"I-I made these last night, for you... for Adrien! You seemed to be having a rough week at school and I saw you going to the nurse. Now I know you were actually going to the akuma... But, anyways, today you weren't in school." She offered him the box of homemade macarons. He accepted the box and peaked inside.

"What do you know, passion fruit is Chat's favorite flavor too."

"What a coincidence," Marinette said through a giggle.

"You are amazing, thank you for caring about me in every way possible." Adrien kissed her one last time, hoping she could feel the sincerity. "Goodnight, Marinette, sweet dreams."

"Goodnight, Chat."

Chapter Text

Despite the bruise on his face and how incredibly tried he was, Adrien felt pretty good. While nothing had been solved with his father directly, he felt so much relief knowing that Marinette knew the truth. He didn't have to hide behind Chat – he could be himself around her. She hadn't rejected him, she wasn't mad at him, and most importantly she still wanted him around. She told him to come back (today!), and told him that he could talk to her whenever he wanted.

He made it to noon before texting her and wishing her a good day. He was nervous about overwhelming her. He unloaded a lot on her and although she offered to be there he knew that he could be a lot. He could be dramatic.

He realized his thought and caught himself. Marinette had told him to not be so negative about himself. Not even 24 hours had passed but he was trying. Luckily he was having a relatively positive day so nothing much had to be addressed.

He was disappointed that he wasn't at school. He still believed he deserved the punishment because even if it had been an emotional and not-genuine reaction he still said a terrible thing to his father. He knew that his father relied upon the hope that his mother wasn’t dead. Saying she was dead was as much of an insult as wishing their roles were reversed. The whole thing was terrible and the lowest of blows.

Looking in the mirror made him feel a little shaken up. His father hit him... with a cane. Ironically he considered how similar the attack was to how Adrien attacked as Chat Noir with his baton. But at least when he was Chat he was hitting villains, and Ladybug always cured any harm. Maybe his father thought he was a villain. Maybe he was a villain in some regard... losing hope that his mother was alive, and using it against his father was a pretty villainous thing to do.

Plagg was bouncing around the room, feeding off Adrien's positivity that was finally slowly returning. He talked about how much he liked the Bakery Girl (though he knew her name he never used it) and even made a very bold comment that Adrien should go move in with her and leave the mansion and his father behind. Adrien responded with a glare at that and Plagg just ate more cheese with his aloof expression.

In the afternoon Nathalie surprised him with a visit.

"Your father and I have discussed what to do about your current state."

Adrien patted his face reflexively. It looked the same as it did the day before, not yet in the healing stage and still in the throbbing stage.

"We have prepared a press release to alert the public that you were mugged and robbed while on an evening stroll. Once it is released you will be able to return to school."

Adrien's eyes whipped toward her at the unexpected news. "He's letting me go back to school?"

Nathalie cocked a brow. "You're almost finished. It would look strange to withdraw you at the very end of your education."

Despite the reasoning being to keep up public appearances, Adrien was massively relieved to learn he would be going back to school.

"If the press approaches you, you are to say 'no comment' and nothing more."

Adrien nodded. He supposed he had to do what his father said. Besides, what else was he going to do? Tell the press that his father hit him and that he is a terrible son? Tell everyone that his family was broken and he was trying to fix it, holding on by his fingertips?

Hardly.

"Can I go back tomorrow?"

"I will ask your father. As that is the last day of the week he may insist you wait until Monday to return."

Adrien nodded and Natalie turned to leave.

"Nathalie?" He stopped her and she turned to listen to him. "Will you also tell him that I'm sorry and... thank you for letting me go back to school."

Nathalie gave him a piercing look and her brow narrowed slightly.

"I will pass along the message."

He texted Marinette immediately and told her the good news about returning to school. She shared his excitement, until thirty minutes later she sent him a screenshot of the press release about Adrien being mugged along with a message that said: '?!?!'

A: It's the only way I was able to go back...

She didn't reply after that and Adrien felt a cloud of guilt and nervousness. Was she upset he was lying? Marinette hated liars, but what other options did he have?

Three hours later it was after dinner and he had been given the good news that he would be permitted to return to school on Monday after the weekend. He was excited to tell Marinette but she hadn't replied to his earlier text and he was worried she wouldn't want him to visit. He nervously texted her and stared at his phone in anticipation.

A: Do you still want a visitor tonight?

It took less than a minute for her to respond.

M: Of course I do! Get your paws over here

Adrien smiled and showed the text to Plagg who rolled his eyes and reminded him to pack extra cheese. And then they were off.

She was outside this time but he was the one to ambush her with a hug. He was dressed in his normal half-masked Chat suit and although the bruise was visible Marinette looked very happy to see him. He hadn’t thought twice about wearing the full face mask this time: he trusted her and it felt like another layer of their relationship had been solidified. Plus, he knew it would be impossible to kiss her with the full mask.

"I get to go to school on Monday," Adrien picked her up and swirled her around in excitement. She laughed and he lowered her down gently.

"I am very happy to hear that. It looks like I am going to be the one tutoring you tonight so you can catch up. C'mon."

She pulled him down the stairs and they were back in her room.

He detransformed quickly, no longer needing to stay in superhero form and drain Plagg's energy. As soon as possible he was offering his kwami cheese and Plagg found himself a comfortable room inside the little dollhouse on Marinette's desk.

"What should we tackle first?" Marinette pursed her lips and started flipping though her backpack.

"You!" Adrien leaped forward and swooped her up onto his arms, kissing her soundly on the lips. She sighed into him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

They parted a few minutes later, both a little breathless. It was his second official kiss with Marinette as himself and they both were a little flushed. They learned quickly that kissing with skin to skin contact was a lot more intense than kissing with a leather suit barrier.

Reluctantly, they started studying and they both found that the mundanity of it was exactly what they needed. After the intensity of the prior day, and the inevitable discussions they would need to keep having, studying was a very normal and good distraction.

They joked and bantered, occasionally kissed, and fell into a very easy and comfortable companionship. Adrien couldn't believe how lucky he was to finally see Marinette for everything she was beyond being his "very good friend". To learn that she had a crush on him was surprising to say the least. He remembered when he mentioned his crush on her to Nino about a month earlier and wondered if his friend knew about Marinette's crush... he certainly was adamant that Adrien tell her as soon as possible at the time.

The pair had been studying for about an hour and Adrien thought it was as good a time as ever to bring up the topic of their friends and relationship status, as nerve-wracking as it was.

"Monday will be our first day at school together," he said, trying to come off as casual.

"Oh!" Marinette's eyes widened and her cheeks got a little red. "If you want to keep everything - it - us... I mean, if there is an 'us'... I don't want you to feel obligated or anything," Marinette babbled.

"I want there to be an 'us'," he affirmed quickly, and Marinette smiled bright and eager. "And I-I think..."

He frowned. He wanted to tell everyone about Marinette. He wanted to walk into school and hold her hand and kiss her on the cheek so that everyone would know she was his. But should he?

"I'm worried about my father," he admitted regretfully and the smile that illuminated Marinette's face faded.

"Worried he won't let us... 'us'?" Marinette said gently. Adrien nodded.

"When I dated Kagami it was because he set it up. Don't get me wrong, Kagami is a great person, but she didn't fully accept me. The reason I was allowed to spend time with her was because my father insisted and set it into my schedule. I'm worried that if I ask for my schedule to be arranged to spend time with you he's going to..." he flushed, feeling oddly strained talking about this aloud for the first time. "He may use it against me. If I upset him in any way he won't let me see you."

Marinette stared at the floor and Adrien hated the silence.

"I want you to be my girlfriend. I want to tell the entire world, and I want to go on dates and hold your hand and kiss you in front of everyone." He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.

"I want all of that too. This conversation is making me realize that we need to talk about your father before we worry about anything else. No matter what, I'm going to be here for you and I'm not leaving, whether or not we have to keep this a secret for now."

Adrien nodded but felt a little confused from the first part of her statement. "Ok, well maybe if you reintroduce yourself to him as my friend first, that could-,"

"No," Marinette shook her head and frowned, cutting him off. She looked reluctant to speak so Adrien waited patiently for her to start.

"I mean we need to talk about how your father treats you."

Adrien clenched his jaw and looked away. He didn't really want to do that. He knew how judgmental people could be. He was aware that his situation was a little cagey, and maybe extreme at times, but ultimately he knew his father loved him. This conversation was going to be another circle.

"What if I showed up with a bruise on my face and told you that someone close to me hurt me?" Marinette asked carefully and Adrien felt his heart skip a beat. He scanned Marinette's face and tried to imagine it with a bruise but the entire thought experiment made him feel nauseous.

"I would never let that happen to you." He shook his head and put his hands on each of her upper arms.

"I let it happen to you," Marinette said in a small voice, looking up at him with watery eyes.

"No, no you didn't. I'm not like you. I can be demanding and-and over emotional. You would never say the horrible things I said to someone you loved. You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met - I'm... not like you."

Marinette frowned. "You're not demanding. What you're asking for isn't a lot. You shouldn't have to beg for your father's love."

"He does love me, sometimes I just ask for too much. He is all I have and I don't want to lose him."

"You have yourself," Marinette put a hand on his heart. "You are an amazing person with dreams and goals of your own. You are kind and deserve to be treated with kindness. You shouldn't be scared to say the wrong thing, or afraid to ask for attention or love. You didn't and don't deserve to be hit for wanting someone to love you back. You don't deserve to live trapped in that house."

Adrien focused on her arm that was extended out to his chest. She was covering his heart, as if trying to shield it.

"What are you saying?" He shook his head.

"I'm worried about you living with your father. I worry about you every time you go home and I have been worrying for weeks, even before I knew the truth. You are being hurt and I can't do anything to stop it, but you can. You can leave, Adrien."

"I don't want to," he said immediately, recoiling from her hand. He truly didn’t want to. "I love my father and he needs me. I'm not leaving him."

"He hurts you," Marinette said sadly. "I can't... I don’t know how to sit back and do nothing while you let him do this to you."

‘Let him’. Adrien felt the sting of the accusation. He didn’t let his father hurt him. It wasn’t like he wanted his father to treat him the way he did. In fact, all Adrien did was try to make his father listen to him and encourage him to change. He pushed back against his father to an exhausting degree. He knew that his father wasn’t always bad. His father was kind, when he wanted to be, and he loved him - he just had a hard time showing it after his mother left.

"I don’t let him,” Adrien said harshly, the need to stick up for himself and his father taking precedence. “I want him to be around more and I ask him to be flexible. I don't let him do anything - I ask him for things and he's just… busy, or says no. He doesn't have time to listen to me. I know he's not like everyone else's parents, but I told you he's never done anything like this before now. He has never hurt me before this. My father loves me, and I trust him."

‘Am I doing something, or am I not?’ His father’s mocking voice echoed in his head suddenly like a flashback. Adrien shook his head to erase the intruding memory.

“I-I didn't mean that you let him. I know you want your freedom and him to be kinder,” Marinette shook her head, looking flustered. “Hitting people is wrong, of course, but it’s more than him hitting you, Adrien...”

“I hit akumas,” he said immediately.

“That’s different. That’s self defense. You have to hit akumas to stop them,” Marinette said, sounding slightly exasperated.

“Well maybe he had to hit me to stop me from talking anymore,” Adrien said back, shaking his head in confusion. What? What was he saying??  

“No, that’s not what I mean! I would never hit someone for that reason,” he said quickly, trying to take back his words. He didn’t want Marinette to think he agreed with that kind of behavior. He was getting confused and could feel his chest tightening.

Marinette’s eyes were wide, but she leaned forward and grasped Adrien’s hands in hers. “I know, Adrien. I know you’re not like that.”

“But neither is my father!” Right? He wasn’t… was he?

"You have a bruise on your face, Adrien," she said softly and her eyes started to water. Adrien recoiled. He was hurting her. He was making her cry. He was doing this to her.

"Don't cry, please. I'm sorry - please." He reached out as if to touch her cheek but didn't connect, not wanting to make things worse.

She knew his identity for one day and he was already hurting her and making her cry. He was terrible. He would never stop messing up, would he? He wanted to fix it. He wanted to make her happy again. But what she wanted he couldn’t do.

"Adrien…” she said sadly, and it felt like his heart exploded in his chest. He understood, he understood perfectly - the problem was that she didn’t understand. She didn't. She couldn't.

"I understand, Marinette. You don't want to see me hurt. You want me to walk away from my father and... leave him. Abandon him. You think my father is hurting me."

"I don't think that, I see it."

"Marinette you don't understand. I know that... I know that most people's families are different from mine. I know my father hit me and that it was wrong. I know he is demanding, and he avoids me and overworks himself. I know that he is strict about my food and my schedule. I know what he does. What you don't understand is that he is worth it. He’s doing it because he thinks it’s what’s best for me - he isn’t doing it to be malicious. He is my father and I love him. I lost my mother. I don't know why she left me; maybe I did something wrong, or maybe she just couldn't handle living with me and my father: but I can. I am not going to leave my father, and I don't want to. I already lost my mother, I can't lose them both. I can't leave him the way she left us. I don't want to leave him."

Marinette looked at him sadly, eyes watery, and Adrien’s heart broke a little more. 

"I hate to see you cry. I don't want to hurt you. If you-," he choked on the words he had to say because he didn't want to say them,"-if you want to leave me I will respect that. I can go. I should go." He started to back away but Marinette immediately lunged forward to grab his forearms to stop him.

"No! Don't you dare. Don't start making decisions for me: I will not leave you because of this. I don't support your choice but I can't make you change your mind. I need you to promise me you'll leave, even if it's just for one night, if it gets bad again. You can come over here. When you're hungry, promise to eat - like you've been doing as Chat. You can talk to me whenever you want. I will listen. I can't promise I won't cry, but I can promise I won't leave you because of your father."

Adrien felt like he didn't deserve her. She was amazing and kind and giving, and was respecting his choice even if she didn’t agree with or understand it. He was terrified he was going to disappoint her and let her down, and that would drive his determination not to. He was going to listen to her, he could ensure he gave back equally. He wanted to give her the world and all of the happiness in it. He wanted to be her rock the way that she was quickly becoming his.

He enveloped her in his arms and spoke into her hair, muffled but audible, promising to do whatever he could to keep her happy for as long as she would allow. Marinette nodded into his chest and sniffled, her tears drying on his shirt.

“Then, for now, I think it’s best if we keep our relationship between us. I don’t want your father to have any part in this, or be able to use me as a tool to hurt you.” Adrien hated that she even had to say the words. He hated that what she said was true… that his father would do that, thinking it was to protect him.

God, he just wished his father would listen to him.

“He wasn’t always like this, you know? He’s just sad. He might change one day.” Still Adrien felt the need to defend his father, hoping Marinette could understand why he was putting himself through this and why it was truly worth it to him. If there was even the slimmest chance of his father returning to normal then he would do whatever he had to do to make it happen.

“I just want you to feel loved, Adrien. You deserve it from more than just me.” His heart skipped a beat. It was the second time she was saying it. The night before she said she loved him but he assumed it was just a figure of speech; he didn’t think she actually meant it. But now here she was saying it again, saying she loved him.

He stared at her, the question on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn’t ask; he didn’t want to know that he was making poor assumptions and learn that she didn’t really mean it. They were both on edge and emotions were high. He was jumping to conclusions and his wishful thinking could be the death of him if he dwelled on it for too long.

“I promise, I’ll leave if I need to.”

“Okay,” she sniffled and leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a waterfall the last two days.”

“I’m sorry for upsetting you,” he said genuinely. It all started from him, didn’t it always?

“I really appreciate you trusting me and opening up to me. I know this is new for both of us, but… I’m really happy. Despite the crying.” Marinette let out a little huff of laughter. Adrien swiped under her eyes for her, wiping off the last of her tears.

“No more crying, then. We will figure it out together.” He leaned forward and gave her a peck on the lips, which she received happily.

“I trust you, and I hope you trust me, too.”

“More than anyone else, Princess,” he said. And he truly meant it.

Chapter Text

Marinette had a plan. After attempting to talk to Adrien about his home life it was abundantly clear that nothing she could say would change his mind about leaving his father. She assumed that would be the case but had given her best effort regardless. Adrien did not want to leave his father, and in that lay the biggest obstacle.

She did research after that. She learned that supporting someone was more beneficial than urging or pushing someone. She learned that showing, not telling, was a more successful tactic to convince people to change their situations. But most importantly she learned to be mindful about how to word things so Adrien wouldn't start to blame himself. She had already witnessed it a few times and she hated seeing him spiral into a black hole of self loathing.

She didn't want to save him. She wanted him to want to help himself. She wanted to show him how a family was supposed to operate. She wanted to show him how loved ones were supposed to listen. She wanted to prove to him that people wouldn’t always leave or reject him at the first sign of conflict. Maybe if she could expose him to healthy relationships he would realize that he didn't deserve the toxic and cruel behavior from his father. Maybe if he saw what could be, he wouldn't cling to the broken pieces he had left from his childhood memories.

She loved spending time with him, and he truly was a ball of positive energy. It was difficult to watch him being hurt and she wanted him to decide for himself that he deserved better. But she knew she would have to wait for him to be ready. So long as he continued to treat her well and be kind she would stay by his side.

She eyed him over her notebook. They were studying and he was lying on his stomach on the chaise lounge and she was sitting at her desk. It was Sunday night and they were finishing up their weekend homework. Adrien had been trapped in his house over the weekend but luckily being Chat allowed him to visit that evening.

"Whatcha looking at?" Adrien smirked and Marinette blushed at being caught.

"Enjoying the view." She playfully stuck out her tongue and he stretched out on the chaise as if posing for a photoshoot.

"Luckily I'm a professional." He wiggled his eyebrow and Marinette tossed a balled up piece of paper his way.

"A professional doofus, maybe." They laughed and Marinette stood to stretch her legs.

"I was thinking that maybe one night soon you could come over and have dinner with my parents. I wanted to introduce you as my boyfriend." She tried to sound casual but inside she was bursting with nerves. She knew it was a big ask. “I know we are trying to keep things secret, but my parents won’t tell anyone if we explain the situation.”

“How are we going to explain it?” Adrien had a small frown on his face but he hadn’t said no.

“They know that your father is strict. They won’t pry or tell anyone if I ask them not to,” she bounced on the balls of her feet in anticipation. She was really excited to have dinner with her parents and Adrien, and more importantly she wanted Adrien around her parents. She knew how lucky she was to have such a caring and welcoming family and hoped that the more Adrien got to know her parents the more he would stop defending his own father who was, to put it bluntly, not a good man.

She felt somewhat guilty for the underhanded motivation, but she believed it was for the best of causes. Plus, she already knew that she wanted to be in a relationship with Adrien long term. Sooner or later she hoped he would be considered (or literally become) part of her family anyways. She’d prefer sooner, but was trying not to come off as too eager or pushy.

“It would have to be later in the evening, so I can get away. We have to make sure they won’t tell anyone. You know how badly I want to tell people, but I’m worried about losing you.” 

Marinette was quite aware of Adrien’s desire to show her off publicly. It was very flattering and made her heart warm. It upset her that Gabriel was able to steal parts of Adrien’s happiness without even trying at this point. He had so strongly ingrained his control over his son that Adrien was complacent and worried about losing his freedom. Adrien was so very careful with his behavior it was almost unbelievable that Chat Noir was the same person. Chat was spontaneous and spoke as if nothing could affect him. It made so much sense and so little sense all at the same time. Chat was the embodiment of the freedom Adrien craved. He deserved his Miraculous more than anyone else she knew. It made her heart swell with pride and joy that Master Fu had recognized this as well.

“Even if your father were to somehow find out about us you wouldn’t lose me. If I have to build an underground tunnel into the mansion then I would, just to be with you.” Marinette sat beside him and leaned her head against his shoulder. He was so comfortable and she loved cuddling with him in any way possible. They had to make a no-touching rule for studying after quickly realizing that it made studying nearly impossible.

“I’ll hold you to that. And I promise I’ll claw my way out of any cat-trap to get back to you as well.”

“I’d probably have to rescue you from any trap, let’s be honest here.” 

“You already have,” he said abruptly, breaking the playful banter with his sincere declaration.

Marinette caught his eye and the intensity with which he was staring at her spoke volumes. Rather than speak, she closed the distance between them and poured her heart into a kiss that ended too quickly.

"Adrien!" Marinette waved and bound towards him when he exited the car. She tried to act casual when she saw her boyfriend (ahh!) for the first time in daylight with a harsh bruise on his cheek. He was wearing a beanie hat with a bill on it, trying to shade and hide the bruise the best he could.

Not only were there a few paparazzi and fans, but Nathalie was watching him carefully as Marinette stopped in front of the door, nudging a few fans aside. Adrien's bodyguard was standing on one side of him and Marinette made it a point to stand on the other.

"Hey Marinette," he said very casually, mindful of his father's secretary watching his every move.

"Let's go," Marinette fought to urge to grab his hand and instead the four of them started walking into the school. Halfway there, Nino and Alya joined the Adrien-protection-circle. They made it to the entry and inside of the school relatively quickly but not before the photographers got their fair share of photos.

Marinette hated everything about it: Adrien having to hide the truth, his father's cruelty, being put in the spotlight when he was already overwhelmed, and most of all that she couldn't hold his hand through all of it.

"How are you, dude?" Nino asked once in the safety of the school's courtyard.

"I've been better but I'm really happy I still get to come to school." Adrien put a hand behind his neck and his eyes shifted to Marinette, who gave him a little encouraging smile.

"So are we. I'm sure this will all die down soon." Marinette laid a comforting hand on Adrien's upper arm and left it there. She wanted to hug him so badly! He smiled contentedly and held eye contact.

Alya's eyebrows raised as she watched their intense little exchange and she pointed not-so-subtly at Marinette's hand and then gave a thumbs up from behind Adrien’s back.

"Let's get to class!" Marinette dropped her hand quickly and blushed, a little embarrassed at being caught by Alya. 

She led the way and Adrien kept pace beside her. She noticed that he was still watching her, smiling, and she almost wanted to nudge him for being so obvious. Weren't they trying to keep this a secret?

"Adrien, watch where you're walking," she said quietly and quickly glanced at him and then away again, because she knew she could easily get stuck in his gaze.

"But I'd rather watch you," he leaned down and whispered into her ear. Marinette turned positively red and she nudged him playfully away.

"I'm stealing my best friend!" Alya was suddenly wedged between the pair and her arm was hooked with Marinette's. She stopped walking and Marinette had to stop as well. Nino shrugged and clapped Adrien on the back.

"Let's go dude." Adrien smiled and continued onward and Marinette was trapped with Alya.

"What did I just see?!" Alya didn't pull any punches.

"What? Nothing. I am trying to be a good friend to Adrien. I was so worried about him after seeing the article I texted him and we spent some time talking. It was nice. I guess I feel a little more comfortable today, especially knowing he's been through some scary stuff the last couple of days."

"You didn't stutter once! Girl, you deserve a gold star! He was flirting with you and staring at you!" Alya looked positively giddy and Marinette felt almost guilty having to deny what she knew was true.

"No, he was just being friendly. Adrien flirt with me? No way," she waved as if the idea was preposterous.

"You are so clueless but in the best way. Come on, let's get to class. Today just got way more interesting. Sometimes I feel like I need to make a blog about you two, with how much you get up to. It would be entertaining, that's for sure."

"You better not!" Marinette said and Alya laughed as they carried onwards to the classroom.

“Left!” Marinette yelled across the rooftops and Chat banked to the right - their little trick for the unsuspecting akumas included announcing orders in the opposite direction they were actually going to go.

Today’s attack was going surprisingly well. They had already found and destroyed the sentimonster (an unstoppable wheel that blew up any object that crossed its path), and now they were solely focused on the akuma. Pyromaniac was less troublesome than expected, considering he was blowing up things left and right; but his handicap of having to recharge between explosions worked in their favor.

All Chat had to do was wait for a recharge and cataclysm the floating detonator. As soon as he did Ladybug used her lucky charm to cushion the now freed akuma victim’s fall back to Earth. Within moments everything in the city was repaired and all was right with Paris once again.

“Pound it,” the duo said in unison, bumping fists.

“I’m sorry Chat Noir, Ladybug.” The construction worker looked ashamed but the heroes were there to reassure him.

“Hey, we all have moments where our feelings explode,” Chat said with a gentle smile. Marinette scoffed but nodded in support of her silly boyfriend-partner-Chaton. Sometimes she still had trouble reconciling that docile Adrien was her goofy partner.

“I’ll be more careful in the future,” the man said with confidence and waved farewell.

“Follow me for a minute, Chat, if you don’t mind?” Marinette nudged her head in the direction of one of their favorite meeting spots: a belltower at the Sacre Coeur.

“What’s up bugaboo?” Chat said, leaning casually against the tower wall. He had 3 of the 5 paw prints remaining. 

“You look good,” Marinette said happily. “Except for that mask.” 

“Be still my beating heart!” Chat put a hand up to his forehand dramatically. “She finally notices how good I look as soon as I get a girlfriend…”

His eyes shifted carefully to Marinette’s face and she wondered what, exactly, his expression was displaying at the moment. His stupid mask was blocking his cheeks. Was he blushing? Was he nervous?

“A… girlfriend?” Marinette played along, trying to look surprised. “So I guess that means you talked to someone like I told you to do?”

Chat nodded.

“So… I guess you could say that I’m the matchmaker…” Marinette said with a sly little grin. 

“Nope, sorry to burst your bubble, Ladybug, this one is all thanks to me. And her. She’s the cat’s meow,” he grinned and his ears flopped a little, showing his excitement. Marinette tried not to look too happy.

“Well, I’m happy that you’re happy. That’s what matters.” 

“She knows I’m Chat Noir,” he confessed quickly, taking a step forward, bracing himself for an impact.

But it didn’t come. She didn’t have the heart to pretend to lecture him about secret identities or safety. She felt rotten enough keeping her identity from him as it stood. She felt like a hypocrite. Plus, he already knew she told a friend of hers (Rena/Scarabella), although he didn’t know it was Alya.

“Do you trust her?”

“Other than you, more than anyone,” he said without hesitation. Marinette faltered, needing to give herself a moment to catch her breath. She was blown away by how much he was so easily declaring his trust in her to Ladybug, who she knew he valued very highly.

“Okay then,” she said simply.

“Okay?” Chat repeated, surprised.

“I mean, it’s always a risk but… I can’t fault you for wanting to be honest with someone you care about. I wish…” she looked away from him, her words trailing off. She didn’t know if she should be saying certain things and Ladybug versus Marinette and it was confusing her slightly.

“You wish…?” Chat repeated, urging her to continue.

“I wish I could tell you, too, Chat. You’re my best friend,” she admitted shyly. Chat Blanc was a memory she had to force down in that moment.

“You know how much I would love that, but I understand why we can’t,” Chat said with a little nod and a tilt to his head. He stared at her with a little frown on his face before he pursed his lips and took a step away from her.

Uh oh. She wasn’t supposed to be toeing any lines as Ladybug. He was with Marinette! She had to keep it separated, as difficult as it was. Only until she could tell him somehow. She still needed to figure out how to do it; if she could do it; if it was safe to do it. Too many factors caused her worry to spike. The newest worry, now that she knew he was Adrien… What if he got mad at her? What if he felt deceived? Would he be justified in feeling that way? Was she expecting too much? Would he break up with her?

An empty world, a moon split, icy blue eyes following her every move . She shivered.

“Time’s up, bug,” Chat said nicely and waved the back of his hand at her, indicating he had only one paw print left. She was even shorter on time, having summoned her Lucky Charm a few moments before his Cataclysm.

“Oh, right. I’ll talk to you soon, Chat. I promise,” she added sincerely and smiled at the love of her freakin’ life: the one and only Chat Noir.

He vaulted away without another word. What a mess her life had become in just a few short days.

A mess, but one she loved. Adrien arrived that same night and they spent hours doing homework, cuddling, and exchanging a few much-wanted kisses.

They were curled up together on the floor in their makeshift bed, surrounded by pillows. The movie was playing but at this point it was mostly background noise for their giggles and flirting. Marinette was laying on her back and Adrien’s head was on her lower stomach. She was playing with his hair and his eyes were closed in contentment. 

“I can hear your stomach making noises,” Adrien grinned and started laughing quietly.

“Agh! Get off then!” Marinette felt herself blush and shoved at Adrien half-heartedly. She liked that he was leaning on her, but not if he was going to make fun of her.

“Noo, my pillow!” Adrien rolled right back onto her stomach and started tickling her with his fingers.

“Mercy!” Marinette cried, pushing at him again to stop the tickle-assault. He obliged and instead kissed her stomach over her shirt a couple times then crawled up and over her. He had one knee on each side of her and she was staring up at him happily.

“Now you’re right where I really want you,” he said with a grin and leaned forward to kiss her. She sighed into his lips and wrapped her arms around him.

“We’re really good at this,” Adrien said when he broke away from her. She kept her arms around his shoulders and she swore she saw a twinkle in his eye.

“I’ve been kissing you in my head for years, of course I’m good at it,” Marinette joked.

“Years?”

“Maybe…” Marinette felt herself blushing, feeling shy at the blatant way she had spoken to him now that he was questioning her.

“Don’t hold back, I like when you tell me things,” Adrien smiled down at her coyly, still hovering over her, and watched her face. She squinted and a wave of determined bravery overcame her. She decided to take the bait and not back down.

“Fine, yes. For years. I’ve been wanting to kiss the boy I’ve loved for years.” She giggled and stuck out her tongue at him. He stared down at her, not smiling.

“What? What did I say?” Marinette’s smile started to slip from her own face as she caught on that Adrien was suddenly very serious.

“Loved for years?” he asked.

“Yeah…” Marinette started to sit up, feeling vulnerable on the floor beneath him. He followed her movements and sat back on his haunches.

“Really?” he asked again, sounding doubtful.

“Well maybe not years . Maybe just-um-,”

“No… I mean… you love me?” Adrien looked a little lost and Marinette blinked because she didn't understand why he was so confused.

“I told you that. Did you, um… forget?” Marinette started to blush. Did he really not remember?

“I remember. I just thought that it was in the moment. As my friend. Or something.” Adrien’s confused expression started to turn into a panicked one. He had the faintest tint of pink on his cheeks.

“No. I love you,” Marinette said bluntly, staring wide-eyed at Adrien. Was he going to run away? Did he not like that she loved him? Was she scaring him? She was certainly scaring herself right now.

“You do?” he asked, looking baffled. Marinette’s fear was melting into confusion, too.

“I just said I did.”

“Are you… are you sure? I’m… me.”

Marinette’s brows raised at the words he spoke; at the implication of the words he spoke.

“I know who you are and I love who you are. Of course I’m sure. What do you mean ‘are you sure’? Why wouldn’t I love you?” Marinette started to feel defensive and it was coming out in the tone of her voice.

“I… don’t know,” Adrien said, his expression showing his dazed feelings.

“I love you and I’m sure, and I’m not going to change my mind,” Marinette’s eyes narrowed. “And don’t talk about the boy I love like that.”

“O-okay,” Adrien said, blinking. Marinette watched him carefully and nodded, satisfied that he believed her now. She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, then started maneuvering back down to lay on the blankets. She grabbed his arm so he could follow and cuddle up against her. She wanted to use him as a pillow this time. He started to follow her lead when he suddenly jerked back and sat upright again.

“Wait!” he said, sounding panicked. “I love you too!”

“You don’t have to say it because I did.”

“No! No, I really, really love you. A lot. I’ve loved you for months now. I just didn’t want to scare you. I didn’t want you to think I’m some creep who climbs into girls’ windows and declares his love for them. It’s just you, Marinette. I love you. Of course it’s you.” He nodded as he spoke, his eyes eager for her to believe him. She did.

She smiled and leaned forward again, this time kissing him full on the mouth and packed with excitement. He loved her! She loved him and he loved her - they were in love. She wrapped her arms around his neck and scooted herself into his lap, fully invading his space.

“I love you, too,” Marinette said again, breaking away from the kiss just so she could tell him.

“I love you, too!” Adrien did the same and nodded, then pushed his lips back into hers sloppily and roughly. He pulled her against his own body as closely as he could get her.

“It’s not unique but I want to keep saying I love you,” Adrien said again, kissing her cheeks and down her neck while he spoke the words.

Marinette felt warm and loved. She smiled and directed his face back up and kissed him, silencing his verbal declarations so she could show him instead.

It was perfect.

Chapter Text

Adrien's POV

He didn’t know if he was just a glutton for punishment, or obsessed, or if something was wrong with him, but he was constantly brainstorming how to apologize to his father. First, he would need to be given an audience to his father. Once his father would even hear him out he would need to say the right things to gain his father’s apology. All the while a voice that sounded like Marinette’s was asking him why he was trying so hard for someone who couldn’t be bothered with him and why he wouldn’t just stop?

But Marinette hadn’t lost either of her parents, and he would never wish such a tragedy on anyone - she didn’t understand what it was like. It felt like a repetitive point to make, but he couldn’t lose his father. He didn’t have the chance to fight for his mother, she had left so abruptly, but his father he could fight for; he had to.

So he planned. He was feeling optimistic lately: his relationship with Marinette created a bubble of positivity that he was basking in. If his father could see how happy his son was, maybe it could be contagious. Maybe this time his father would listen.

First, he tried with Nathalie. Nathalie hesitated but promised she would ask his father for a meeting. Unsurprisingly, there was no room in his upcoming schedule to see Adrien. He recalled his father calling the tactic to schedule a meeting ‘immature’ last time, but he had tried again anyway.

He had to come up with more creative ideas. He started keeping track of his father’s schedule on his own. If he saw his father leave he documented it. After one week there were still many gaps in the makeshift calendar but he was glad to have some kind of start. He was unsure if this tactic would even work, considering his father’s schedule may not be fixed.

He debated trying to ‘borrow’ Nathalie’s tablet in order to download or look at his father’s schedule but realized quickly that Nathlie was never without it. He would have to sneak into Nathalie’s room at night (via Chat Noir, through the window) - but that was a boundary he wasn’t willing to cross.

He managed to sneak into the atelier when his father was away one day and tried to log onto the computer in order to access the schedule… but he couldn’t figure out the password. He tried every combination of dates and names related to himself and his mother that he could imagine. After thirty minutes of trying he panicked that he had taken much longer than anticipated and ran out of the room without further exploration. 

He would have to go back another day.

There was a fleeting thought that maybe he should wait around and intentionally get caught in the atelier. At least he’d have an audience with his father. But that was quickly removed as an option considering he wanted his father to forgive him, not give his father more reasons to resent him. (He didn’t even understand why his father was so averse to him in the first place, so giving him additional reasons seemed like a terrible idea.)

It was eating away at him. He replayed it in his mind - his words, his father’s reaction, the sting of the cane against his face. It was making him lose sleep, it was drowning him in regret, and even the placating thoughts of Marinette couldn’t fend off the fear he was feeling at losing his father. In the recess of his mind he knew that being hit and hurt by his father was a bad thing and that his father was the one who was supposed to apologize but… but he knew that his father wouldn’t.

If he wanted relief or change, Adrien needed to make it happen. That was the reality of his situation and his father. If Adrien was anything, it was resilient. So he persisted, forcing himself to be optimistic, even if it was a self-soothing practice and not realistic. He had to keep trying, because if he didn’t… well, he didn’t want to think about that.

Adrien was happy. He was excited about Marinette, looking forward to dinner with her parents, and just felt good. His feelings about his father were, for the first time in a long time, not at the forefront of his mind. He was going to figure out a solution with his father eventually and he was confident about that. His worries were pushed to the back corner of his mind; he had so many other things to be happy about and wanted to enjoy the positivity while his brain allowed it. Most importantly, he had Marinette and he loved her.

The pep in his step was like an old friend he missed and he was relishing in the company. Life was okay, he was going to be okay. Today, he wasn’t stressing out. Today, he was going to live and let live and it felt amazing.

"Hi." Adrien dipped his head to Marinette's ear, close enough to kiss her on the cheek.

"Adrien!" Marinette jumped, surprised, and looked around with her familiar pretty pink blush. "Someone might notice."

"What if I don't care?" He leaned against the locker next to hers and smiled down at her.

"You... don't? This is sudden. We haven't talked about it," Marinette said quietly and her eyes shifted around the locker room. She could hear the echoes of people laughing a few rows away.

"I love you and I don't want to hide it," Adrien said quietly, smiling. It felt so good to feel love and say it aloud. He was still on cloud nine from their confessions. Marinette smiled and he caught her eyes flickering to his lips.

"I can see you looking, and I know what you're thinking..." Adrien said playfully and leaned forward just close enough to leave distance for Marinette to make the final decision.

Marinette made a little noise of frustrated protest but he knew he had her when her eyes fluttered closed. She gripped the front of his shirt lightly and pulled him forward. Their lips met and Adrien knew he made the right decision. It was exciting, public, and open. Marinette was kissing him at school, not in the late evening hours hidden in the shadows! Marinette wanted to be with him, and very much so if how eagerly lips were caressing his was evidence.

"Oh my god!"

They jerked away from one another simultaneously and two sets of eyes swiveled to see exactly who caught them.

It was Alix.

"No freaking way!!" she yelled and punched the air in celebration. "I knew it would happen eventually!! I've gotta tell Kim! Can I tell Kim?"

Marinette's face fell into Adrien's chest to hide her blush and she felt him chuckle.

"Uh, actually Alix we're not really ready for the public to know." Marientte was the one who spoke the words, turning away from Adrien and taking a few steps towards their friend. "You know how everything about Adrien spreads like wildfire and, well, we haven't told his father yet."

Marinette's voice lowered as she got closer to Alix so it wouldn't echo. She looked back toward Adrien with a little frown. He sighed but nodded and walked to stand beside her in support.

"Oh man," Alix said, disappointed. "Well, I'm really happy for you guys. You may want to be more careful in the future. Your secret is safe with me! But... promise I can tell everyone first when you're ready?" Alix grinned.

"Deal," Adrien agreed easily. "And thank you, Alix."

"Hey, I never said you didn't owe me one." Alix winked and turned on her heel. "When the time is right I'll be collecting!" She yelled over her shoulder and left the couple to their privacy.

Marinette turned to Adrien, now a safe distance away, and frowned.

"I'm really sorry, but I'm not ready. I'm worried about your father. After what happened last week I think it's best we don't risk it. Not yet."

Adrien couldn't deny that it stung. He understood the reasons but it didn't make it any less frustrating.

"I know," he conceded, and sighed.

"But when you come over tonight we won't have to hide it from my parents. We can finally tell someone and I can finally show you off," Marinette smiled, trying to brighten his mood. He appreciated her efforts and smiled, warmed that she cared and that she was making it a point to say she didn't want to hide him either.

"I know, I'm sorry for springing that on you without talking about it first. I guess we're lucky it was Alix and not someone like Lila who turned the corner."

Marinette shuddered at the thought of it.

"Let's get to class before I start kissing you again." Adrien reached for her hand before stopping himself and sighing. "Just imagine I'm holding your hand. I am in my head, ok?"

Marinette laughed and lightning-quick pecked his cheek before skipping forward and exiting the locker room ahead of him.

Adrien had to sneak out earlier than usual in order to have dinner with Marinette's parents at a decent time. He feigned a headache and told Nathalie he was going to sleep early. He didn't lie often, so he was confident that she wouldn't check in on him and find an empty room. So, with the full support of Plagg, he transformed and escaped through the window. He didn't stay Chat Noir for long, opting to turn into Adrien and stop at the flower shop near Marinette's house as himself this time. When he entered he noted the photo of the owner and Chat Noir framed on the wall near the register.

He quickly picked a nice bouquet of mixed flowers for Marinette's mother, wanting to make a good impression on Marinette's parents. He texted Marinette when he was outside of the bakery and waited near the side entrance since the bakery was officially locked up and closed for the evening. She was at the door in less than a minute, beaming up at him excited.

"Good evening, Marinette," he said, bowing dramatically as he often did as Chat. "These are for your mother." He extended the bouquet and Marinette 'aww-ed' at the gift. She brought them to her nose and enjoyed the natural floral scent.

"They're lovely, Adrien! I'm sure she's going to love them." She stepped forward on her tippy-toes and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. He smiled and followed as Marinette led him into her home.

He met the Dupain-Chengs many times, most memorably as Chat Noir on a very similar date. Luckily he knew that it couldn't be worse than that disaster had been, so he was already miles ahead of any competition he may have in the race to impress Marinette's parents. (That he was facing off against himself was of no consequence.)

Marinette's parents greeted him warmly, each hugging him and telling him how happy they were that he was joining them. Her mother coo-ed at the flowers and immediately set them into a vase. He mentally patted himself on the back for the foresight and hoped that he was off to a good start.

Marinette's POV

Marinette was being a little manipulative, but it truly was for the best of reasons. She spent more than enough time listing the best qualities of each of her parents and giving detailed examples of how they showed their love for her. She wanted Adrien to realize that how his own father treated him wasn't healthy, even if it was his normal. She was so focused on proving her point that it took her an hour and an extremely awkward moment to realize how her attitude could have been hurting Adrien's feelings.

Marinette had given a long, detailed retelling of their trip to Spain where it all culminated at the vacation ending due to Marinette getting the flu and her parents prioritizing her health over a trip. When her father innocently asked Adrien what his favorite family trip was and he was unable to answer ("I, uh, have never been on one, sir.") was when Marinette realized what she was doing. Here she was, hammering it into Adrien how fantastic her parents were, accidentally rubbing in how terrible his father was and how he no longer had his mother.

After catching her mistake, Marinette excused herself and properly panicked in the bathroom to a sympathetic Tikki. They agreed that she should immediately stop talking about her parents.

The road to hell really was paved with good intentions.

Adrien's POV

"Plagg, what is going on?" Adrien whispered to his kwami when he took a bathroom break.

Marinette was acting strange. Every time one of her parents would give an opinion she would agree as if their words were the gospel. Adrien knew that Marinette loved her parents but she was being excessive. It also wasn't very pleasant to be reminded every other minute how his own father lacked in comparison, and how much he missed his mother. He already knew Marinette's parents were amazing, he didn't really appreciate her rubbing it in.

"I think she's just trying to impress you," Plagg said conscientiously, a rare occurrence for him.

"Yeah, maybe she's nervous. I wonder if I could find a way to talk to her alone. Any ideas?"

Plagg shrugged. "I can try to distract the bakers. But I doubt I could get both of their attention without doing something really destructive."

"You sound way too excited about that. No, don't do anything, I'll just talk to her later." Adrien huffed and Plagg didn't say anything more.

Kwamis' POV

"She feels horrible," Tikki whispered to Plagg.

"Well she's giving him an even bigger complex about his old man, if that's possible!"

"She already decided to stop before you even went off with Adrien. Poor Marinette..." Tikki lamented and Plagg scoffed.

"'Poor Marinette'? She started this mess. Poor Adrien," Plagg said haughtily.

"They'll figure it out," Tikki said resolutely.

"Heh, yeah, but for now we get to watch the train wreck," Plagg snickered.

Marinette’s POV

Marinette was holding his hand under the table - okay, squeezing his hand under the table. Her thoughts were whirling, she was anxious, and if anyone were to ask her: this whole evening had been a mess. If she had Fluff she would have gone back in time and redone the whole night. She was so stupid. What a stupid, stupid plan! She made Adrien uncomfortable, her parents were clearly confused and had tried to divert conversations multiple times, and now she was a fluttering, stuttering mess crushing Adrien's poor hand because she was terrified after tonight he was going to dump her and move to London with his cousin so he wouldn’t have to ever see her again!

"Umm... Marinette?" Adrien nudged her arm with his elbow. She returned her attention to everyone at the table, only to find that her parents weren't at the table anymore and it was just Adrien and her. Her mother was washing the collected dirty dishes and her father dried them.

"Your parents said we can go to the other room and find a game to play." Adrien tilted his head in the direction of the empty room and Marinette hopped to her feet immediately. Empty meant privacy, privacy meant she could apologize!

"Right, we'll pick the best game! Yep!" She spoke loudly, knowing her parents could hear her. When she pulled him to the other room she immediately dropped his hand and turned to face him.

"I'm so sorry!" she said sincerely. "I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings. I just wanted you to like my parents, and see what it's like for me - to be in my house. And I realize I was being really rude and I didn't mean to do that at all, I just got it into my head that maybe if... maybe if you liked my parents we could, I don't know, share them? Because I know your father isn't always there to be supportive when you need something, but my parents are. I wanted you to feel like part of my family because, you know, one day you will - no... I mean!!" Marinette's face turned madly red and she snapped her mouth shut. She started gesturing with her hands, a nervous habit. "Please don't break up with me and move to London!"

Adrien looked a little bewildered by her onslaught of words. He had an 'o' expression, and his eyebrows were raised.

"Wha...?? I'm not moving to London.” He shook his head as he processed all of her babbling. He reached forward and took her hands into his, making her stop gesturing and face him directly.

"I'm not breaking up with you," he said first. Marinette pouted a little, looking up at him worriedly.

"I already like your parents and know how wonderful they are. They remind me of how it used to be when my mother was still here. I think she would have really liked them, too. I will admit I was a little uncomfortable during some of that," he said and Marinette nodded solemnly, "but I appreciate what you were trying to do. Do I need to remind you that one day we're also going to have to share my father?"

Marinette's eyes widened. One day he wanted to share... so he was saying that... she wasn't crazy for wanting the house, three kids, and a hamster? She blushed and felt some relief.

"Thank you for apologizing and please take a few deep breaths because if you think I'd break up with you over something as silly as this then I haven't done a very good job at reassuring you how much I love you - even the crazy plans you come up with in here." He poked her head gently and smiled.

Marinette sighed and nodded.

"Okay. I really am sorry. I just wanted you to know you're welcome here any time, and my parents feel the same way. They like you and if you ever need them they're here for you just like I am."

"Thank you," he said, smiled, and kissed her cheek softly. Marinette's eyes shifted to the archway leading to the kitchen, wondering if her parents were being sneaky and eavesdropping. It was awfully quiet in the kitchen, the water from the sink and chimes of dishes were no longer audible.

"You two can come in here now," Marinette announced and her parents rounded the corner, smiling.

"We thought we'd give you two a little privacy," her mom said nicely with a smile.

"Mooommm!" Marinette flushed yet again, wondering how much of that they heard.

"You're welcome here any time, Adrien!" her father said and patted Adrien on the back in a friendly manner.

Adrien, too, was blushing. (Finally!, Marinette thought, it’s not fair he is always so composed.)

"Since neither of you picked the game it looks like it's parents' choice tonight," her mother said deviously, heading towards the stash of board games.

"Oh no..." Marinette said regretfully.

"Oh yes. That means it's time for Monopoly!" Her mom pulled her favorite game that never ends from the top of the pile and presented the box for all to see.

"Oh, cool, I've never played!" Adrien said, excited. The three Dupain-Chengs all gave him looks - skeptical, a cringe, and excited.

"Sabine is a shark," Tom warned.

"This game never ends!" Marinette whined. "Maybe we can play-,"

"Nope! You snooze, you lose; prepare to be bankrupted!" her mother said smugly.

Marinette conceded and led Adrien to the table where they each took a seat on one side. He looked happy and she didn't have the heart to crush his dreams of Monopoly just yet. He'd learn the hard way.

"We probably won't be able to finish because this game seriously never ends, but here's what you need to know..."

Chapter Text

Adrien’s POV

"Adrien." Nathalie's voice cut through the silence of his room when she knocked and spoke through the closed bedroom door. "Your father needs you in his office."

Adrien scoffed. He had half a mind to tell Nathalie he was too busy and instead tell her to fit his father into his busy schedule for a meeting next week. After an amazing weekend with Marinette and her parents he was feeling prickly. How was it fair that when his father needed him he had to respond immediately? Yet, when he needed his father there would be days of waiting ahead? It wasn't. Adrien hated the imbalance.

Still, there was that tiny part of him that felt happy and relieved at the request for his presence. His father was acknowledging him. His father wanted him. Some Pavlovian-addled part of his brain was lighting up with gratitude. He was powerless to say no despite his mixed feelings.

He stood up and followed Nathalie to his father's atelier and waited patiently for permission to enter the office. For once, he didn't need to wait long. Nathalie did not leave the room, which meant business. Adrien's heart sank. Why he held hope for some kind of reconciliation or apology, he didn't know. Why was he so desperate and... and... stupid?

Nathalie held her tablet at the ready to notate the meeting.

"We are here to discuss your upcoming schedule. You have been contracted to a month-long project for M Rene, the newest designer at Gabriel. He has created a line that will display his talents and muti-facited capabilities to design for every season. It is a snapshot of the year ahead, a showcase of the protégé I hand-picked.

"This project will be a reflection of not only the company but me as an individual and my judgment of fashion trends that will shape the entire world's fashion trajectory for the upcoming year. I have chosen you, my prized model - my son - to work with me to show the world that the Agreste name is the one that will lead and forecast the trends."

Adrien was surprised. His father could have scheduled the photo shoots without this debrief and Adrien would have followed the rules, as always. Instead, however, his father had brought him to the office and told him that he was being included in an important project and actually used the words "work with" instead of "work for". It was so out of character that Adrien had to accept it as an olive branch. This was the first time Adrien was seeing his father after what happened and it was the way his father was expressing his regret for what he'd done: by bringing Adrien into the fold and working with him. It wasn't an apology and it wasn't blatant, but it was his father's language and luckily Adrien was fluent. He understood and was grateful.

"Of course, father," he breathed out immediately, his voice eager in a way he wished it wasn't so evident.

"Very well. Nathalie will see to your schedule. The first photo shoot is on Thursday. Be prepared and professional. I expect grand results." His father resumed his typing on the computer and Adrien knew he was dismissed.

"Thank you," he said, and exited the office.

Once back into his own room he fell backwards onto his bed.

"Can you believe it, Plagg? Did you hear him? He asked me to work with him; with him!"

"That's great, Adrien," Plagg said flatly, not sounding sincere or like it was very great at all.

"What? What's wrong?" Adrien fell out of his daze and glanced at his partner.

"Instead of an apology he gave you more work. I don't get it."

"Work with him, Plagg. We'll finally spend some time together. He trusts me - or he's willing to try to trust me after what happened the other day. He isn't mad, he's giving me a chance!"

Plagg blinked his green eyes and didn't comment. Adrien was thrilled, so he was sort of happy that Plagg didn't speak any more to burst his bubble. Plagg didn't understand human things very well, especially feelings other than hunger. Plagg couldn't understand the magnitude of his father's gesture.

"You..." Plagg sighed. "Congratulations, Adrien," he sounded at least a little more genuine the second time and flew over to his cheese stash.

"I'm telling Marinette," Adrien announced, texting on his phone with speedy fingers.

A: My father requested that I work with him on an important project modeling for the new designer. He's trusting me and he said it's a huge deal

M: That's amazing, I'm happy for you. Do you know what kind of designs? Any previews? 🕵♀️

A: lol not yet but as soon as I'm on set I'll try to sneak a few pictures for you 😉

M : That would be sooo cool!! Of course only if you won't get in trouble.

M: So your father said this was a big deal, huh?

A: A HUGE deal!! I think he's trying to apologize

M: (...)

Adrien watched the 'typing' dots appear, disappear, and reappear multiple times. When they stopped he expected a message but instead there was nothing. He tried to not stare at his phone waiting for a response but it was futile. He was too excited. Maybe he should call her?

Finally when he was about to pick up his phone, the chime of a new message sounded.

M: That's good. I hope so

Adrien stared at the message, his heart sinking. Maybe it was because it was an echo of the words Plagg used, but Adrien was reading it as not-really-genuine.

Adrien didn't understand why they couldn't be happy for him. The two closest people (beings) to him weren't excited by this turn of events. They just didn't understand and it felt lonely. They would never understand. It was times like this that Adrien desperately missed his mother. His mother knew his father better than anyone and she, like Adrien, would have seen the gesture for what it was: a thoughtful peace offering. His father was a complicated man and his mother knew it, too. Now only Adrien knew it and others just didn't understand.

His phone started ringing, pulling him from his thoughts. It was Marinette on a video call.

"Hello?" Adrien answered.

"Hi! You were taking a little long to reply. I just... started thinking and then I missed you. Your face, too, so I called," Marinette waved and smiled, babbling. Adrien grinned. 

"I like when you call. Your face is claw -inspiring," he said.

She face-palmed.

"I'll get used to it soon," she huffed. Adrien laughed.

"So the fashion shoot," she broached the topic. "You're the lead model. I can't wait to see it, you're going to look beautiful, uh, handsome."

"My father said it's an important shoot. He hasn't had a breakout designer for three years now."

"I know, and I'm glad he chose you as the model," Marinette smiled and sounded genuinely happy, not sarcastic like how he misinterpreted the text. Adrien smiled.

"He's trusting me with this," Adrien added.

"You're going to be amazing. You always are," she said sweetly, blushing. Adrien grinned again.

"You're adorable."

"I-um-ah-thanks!" She squeaked, turning more red.

"You're a purr fect shade of red, it complements your lips..." he laid it on further and Marinette dropped the phone in her flustered state.

Adrien laughed at the view of her angled ceiling.

"Gah!" Marinette said, and the phone was being moved. When it settled Adrien could see Marinette had a hand pressed against her cheeks and was glaring at the screen.

"You tease!" Marinette admonished as she rubbed at her cheeks in an attempt to clear her flush.

"What? Can't I daydream about my girlfriend's lips?" He asked innocently.

"How about I tell you all the things I love about your hands?" Marinette huffed again and challenged him. "How I like when your fingers pull at my hair and how your hand fits perfectly in mine. And when you hold me I feel safe."

Instead of being embarrassed, Adrien licked his lips, his eyes flickering to Marinette's lips too. He really, really wanted to kiss her now.

"I'll come over tonight," he decided in a steady, less playful tone.

"Okay," Marinette breathed out and they admired the other in silence for a few moments.

"I have to go, my parents are waiting. There is a big order they need help with," Marinette said regretfully.

"I'll see you later, Marinette," Adrien promised, and to his delight her flush reappeared.

"Bye!" Marinette hung up. Adrien relaxed back on his bed and grinned. Today was a good day.

Marinette’s POV

Marinette felt tingly as she made her way down to the bakery. Adrien just told her how he wanted to kiss her. Adrien wanted to kiss her! She wondered when the butterflies would wear off, if they ever truly would. She hoped not. She loved the way Adrien made her so happy and excited. She was so lucky to have him in her life. She wished his father felt that way, too.

Marinette knew that Adrien only modeled to appease his father. He had passions in different areas and was gifted in those other things. She wondered if his father even knew of them.

"What are you thinking so hard about, sweetheart? Your mind is in a different bakery." She was stirring the batter he had prepared and handed to her as soon as she walked into the kitchen. Her thoughts were so busy she started working on autopilot immediately.

"Oh, just thinking about M Agreste. He's very... different from you," Marinette said.

Her father stopped kneading the dough and turned his full attention to his daughter. She took it as a cue to share her thoughts.

"He doesn't seem very involved in Adrien's life, but he does try I think? Maybe. He orders Nathalie to carry around that tablet so he can communicate through it. But the orders do come from him so..."

"There was a lot of media attention when Emilie Agreste went missing. I read that when his wife disappeared he became agoraphobic. Do you know what that is?" her father asked.

"He's afraid to leave the house?" Marinette asked, and he nodded confirming her words.

"Yes. You and Adrien discussed that designer program he started up again recently, and how he has been more active in his company. That sounds like a big change from the man the media described a few years ago. Of course, you never know what is true or false in the media these days, but M Agreste never denied any claims."

Marinette hummed, contemplating. She supposed that M Agreste could be taking strides to be better. But then... What about hurting Adrien? Marinette frowned as the memory of his bruised face invaded her mind.

"If someone deserves an apology shouldn't they get an actual apology? Not a gesture of good will, or an offering?" Marinette asked her father his opinion on the matter.

"I think that depends on what the apology is for. For instance, if you over-whipped that batter then offering up a new bowl of batter would be a perfectly adequate gesture-of-good-will apology." Tom winked and held his arms out for the bowl.

"Oh shoot!" Marinette stopped stirring and examined the batter to check if it was too thickened.

"It's okay, I've been watching. It should be perfect now." Tom smiled and set the bowl to the side. He gestured to the kneaded and ready dough and Marinette started separating it into equal sized pieces for the tarts they would eventually become.

"Actions speak louder than words most of the time. But sometimes you need the words for an apology to really count," Tom said.

"How do you know when you need the words?" Marinette asked, brow furrowed.

"It's up to the person who receives the apology, I think."

Marinette considered how Adrien reacted to the offer to work with his father. He sounded excited and happy, so if that was good enough for him, maybe it was good enough in general. However, Adrien had been accustomed to accepting and receiving the bare minimum from his father. Being told to do more work that Adrien didn't even enjoy doing certainly didn't seem like an apology by Marinette's standards.

"I don't know, dad..." She frowned.

"Adrien's father asked for him to work with him on a big project. Adrien thinks it's his way of apologizing after they had a disagreement," Marinette explained, deciding to be straightforward.

"M Agreste is a workaholic. Maybe sharing his pride and joy, his work, is the best he can offer to Adrien. Maybe it's his love language," Tom said reasonably.

"But that's not what Adrien appreciates. Adrien would like an apology, I think. Isn't that more important?" Marinette protested.

"I think it's up to Adrien to decide if he is happy with the gesture," her father repeated his previous stance. Marinette shook her head, protesting. That didn't seem right at all and, frankly, she was getting mildly upset that her father was saying Adrien should accept the crappy apology. Adrien's judgment was clouded.

"Adrien doesn't know what he's talking about," Marinette said with bitterness that even she wasn't expecting.

"Marinette!" Her father said sternly and Marinette was shaken from her state of focused anger. She turned around with wide eyes. Her dad was facing her, no longer prepping the food, his hands on his hips.

"Marinette, I don't like what I just heard. It is not up to you to decide what is right or wrong for Adrien. You don't get to control his feelings any more than his father does. You are dating him, not in charge of him. That is not your responsibility. Taking on that responsibility is unhealthy."

"I-I'm not trying to control him! I just..." Don't know what to do. She couldn't finish her sentence or she would risk exposing Adrien's secrets. She felt stuck between a rock and hard place.

"I'm not upset, I'm only worried for you. I want your relationship with Adrien to be healthy. That means supporting him, not controlling or managing him. You have always been a very strong-willed person, and your mom and I are so proud of that part of you. But Adrien isn't a project. He is a person who makes his own decisions, whether you agree or not. If he asks for advice then you can give it, but don't try to control his choices or impress that you know what is best for him. If you don't agree with his choices and it starts to upset you then you can go back to being just friends."

Marinette's eyes were watering now. She felt awful. She didn't want to control him, she only wanted him to be free of his father. But watching Adrien suffer at the hands of the person in charge of him... it hurt. It suddenly dawned on her that everything was not okay. Not at all. She already knew it was bad but what happened was a lot more than either her or Adrien could handle. She needed help, and soon. Adrien needed help that she couldn't provide.

"Dad..." she said shakily, on the verge of spilling Adrien's secrets.

"It's okay, Marinette. You're young and learning, I just want you to be healthy and happy. I'm sorry for getting angry." Her father wrapped her into a hug, clueless that Marinette wanted to say more.

She could tell her father right now.

But she couldn't do it to Adrien. He had to do it...

Was she enabling him? Enabling... abuse?

It wasn't okay and she wanted Adrien to see that. But she couldn't control him. She would either have to speak up and face the consequences of breaching his trust (which could mean losing him), or she could stay quiet and watch Adrien be in a toxic situation, and offer support whenever he needed it.

She couldn't abandon him.

"Thank you dad. I think I needed to hear that because treating him like a project and trying to fix things is probably what I would have done," she said thickly. It was true. As both Marinette and as Ladybug she was a fixer. But in this situation, in a romantic relationship, she couldn't be like that.

"Anytime you want to talk to me or your mother we are here for you. And we're here for Adrien, too. Let him know that." Her father kissed the top of her head and went back to kneading the dough.

Marinette nodded solemnly. Adrien wasn't alone. When he needed them they would be there. Until then, Marinette would just have to wait.

Adrien arrived at Marinette’s house happier than he’d felt in a long time. After their flirty conversation over video chat he felt confident and reassured that Marinette was excited and proud of him, and that she wanted to be near him. Someone truly wanting his company was an amazing feeling and he loved it. His father wanted him to help with work, and Marinette wanted to hang out with him. Today is a good day, he thought to himself again.

Marinette left the skylight window open, which he knew meant that he was welcome to enter. He grinned and climbed down into her bright and welcoming room. He really did love it at the bakery; it was warmer and felt a lot less lonely than his own home.

“Good evening, princess,” Adrien said as he made his way to her. She was standing in the threshold of her closet, her hands full of clothes.

“I decided to organize my closet shelf and it turned into this!” She dropped everything in her arms onto the floor and sighed. Adrien peaked his head into the closet and noticed that there were about five different piles already taking up the floor space inside.

“I was just trying to make things a little less chaotic and now I've made it worse. I have a convert pile, donate pile, throw away pile, and a keep but need to adjust pile. The things I like are hanging.”

“Um… there’s nothing hanging?”

“I KNOW!” Marinette threw her hands up into the air in distress. “Why is nothing good enough?”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“I don’t know, what time is it?”

“Ten…”

“TEN!? I started around seven, after dinner!” Marinette gasped down at her clothes and plucked up a skirt.

“I like this one.” She hung up the article and it was the lone survivor on the rack.

“I like this one,” Adrien followed her lead and picked up a shirt that he recognized. Marinette took the shirt and nodded, and hung it up.

“Wait… I think this used to be my ‘like’ pile…” Marinette huffed and looked down at the pile closest to her.

“Um…” Adrien felt like he was completely missing something. Marinette had seemed in a great mood when they spoke on the phone and now she was surrounded by chaos trying to organize her closet.

“Is something wrong, Marinette?” he asked carefully.

“I just wanted to make it better and now I did… this!” She gestured to her closet and Adrien stared at her profile. She was frowning. “I do this with everything, don’t I? I make crazy plans and then it gets all convoluted, and the next thing I know I’m surrounded by messes!”

“No. You come up with crazy plans that help make everyone around you happy,” Adrien reached forward and took the clothing out of her hands. She pouted and let him toss them onto a random pile. He turned her towards him so they were facing.

“We can fix this together, okay?” Adrien said nicely, rubbing up and down her arms for comfort.

“You didn’t come over here to clean my room,” she let out an exasperated sigh. “You can watch a movie while I do… something.”

“Let’s fix it together while you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong…” she said quietly, completely unconvincingly. 

“Plagg, claws in.”

“Now that’s what I call destruction, Pigtails,” Plagg flew around their heads and Marinette let out a distressed noise.

“Go eat!” Adrien ordered and Plagg, who could never say no to food, obliged.

“Marinette, talk to me,” Adrien urged. “You told me to talk to you when something is wrong and I do. It’s a two-way street.”

“I just wanted to fix something, I guess. I feel like I’ve been pretty useless lately and I thought if I could organize my clothes I could donate some, or create something new for my friends. I wanted to do something right.”

“Why do you feel useless? What’s wrong?”

She bit her bottom lip and turned away from him, reaching forward to grab more clothes. Before she could complete her distraction tactic Adrien held onto her shoulder and stopped her.

“Marinette?”

“I think we’re in over our heads,” she admitted.

“How so?” Adrien asked, but he was pretty sure he knew what she was talking about. He was also pretty sure he didn’t want to talk about this. Again. It always came back to…

“Your father. I’m really struggling not doing anything,” she said with a frown.

Adrien wondered what had gone wrong since he spoke with her in the afternoon. Why was this on her mind again? Didn’t they talk about this already? Didn’t he say he was handling it? Didn’t his father just invite him to work with him on an important project?

“Marinette, you don’t have to do anything. There’s nothing to be done. My father understands what he did and in response he invited me to work with him. Do you realize how big that is? He’s really trying, Marinette.”

“But… he hurt you. What if he does it again? Aren’t you worried? I am. And I’m upset that you’re not upset. It’s really upsetting me, Adrien!” Marinette looked down at her piles of clothes. “I just want to fix my clothes and figure out a way to be useful.”

Adrien contemplated her words. He understood her perspective. To anyone looking in, perhaps an invitation to work wouldn’t seem like much; but to his father, the workaholic whose entire world was his career, it was everything. The gesture was amazing but trying to explain it was difficult if not impossible. He wanted Marinette to feel better and to stop worrying, so he would need to meet her halfway.

“I know it’s difficult to understand but this is a really big deal for my father. Please trust me. And… I promise that if anything bad happens, if this turns out to not be the apology I’ve been waiting for, I will tell you,” Adrien said, meaning every word of it.

Marinette sighed. He waited for her response.

“Okay, you pinky promise?” She held up her pinky, offering it to him as the oath indicator it was. He grinned and accepted, hooking his own pinky with hers.

“Pinky promise.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.

“Now… you ready to tackle this? I bet we'll fix it in 20 minutes,” Adrien challenged.

“What do I win if you’re wrong?”

“You should be asking what my prize is when it turns out I’m right. I promise you’ll like it as much as I do,” Adrien, whose mood was not completely deterred by Marinette’s worry, reached out and pulled her towards him.

“Hmm, tempting…” Marinette said and wiggled her eyebrow.

“Fine. If we finish in 20 minutes or less, you get your prize,” Marinette pressed her hand against his chest. He felt her rub up and down a little more than necessary and, unable to help himself, bent his face forward towards her very tempting lips that he’d been thinking about all day.

“How about a teaser?” he whispered, and his lips grazed hers. She let out a little noise and didn’t pull away so he leaned forward, finally kissing her the way he wanted. 

He captured her lips and indulged. She kissed him back enthusiastically, meeting his every nip and lick so they could access more of each other. Her hands twisted into his hair and his arms encircled her, pulling her closer to him so their bodies were flush against each other. He could feel the curve of her breasts against his chest and the press of her hips against his was making him react more than he planned. She didn’t seem keen to stop, however, so he accepted whatever she was willing to offer.

He greedily started moving his hands up and down her sides, tracing her curves. She followed suit, caressing up and down his back and flattening her hands against his hips and up his chest. When he started to back her up towards the wall the magic between them evaporated after just one step. 

One of the piles of clothes refused to be ignored and Marinette’s foot got tangled in a shirt. She gasped and started falling backwards, her clumsiness unrivaled. Luckily Adrien had a strong enough grip on her waist to stop her from falling too hard, but she still landed in the middle of the pile with him bent forward and holding onto her. He only just managed to stay on his own two feet.

“We’ve just wasted two minutes!” Marinette said, laughing and throwing one of her shirts up into the air, apparently no longer caring about the disorganized piles.

“No way, time starts now!” Adrien quickly pecked her on the lips and let her go, swooping up as many clothes his arms could hold.

“Up, up! I’ve got a beautiful girlfriend that is in serious need of some kissing,” he urged her forward and winked. 

“That’s the best motivation that I’ve had in hours.” She scrambled up and walked into her closet with a determined look on her face.

“There’s a lot more where that came from. One kiss for every piece you sort,” Adrien nodded sagely and followed behind her.

“We’re going to be kissing until we’re 30 if that’s how we do this.”

“You promise?”

Marinette laughed.

Chapter Text

Adrien's POV

The day of the first of four photo shoots arrived and Adrien was buzzing with anticipation. He tried very hard not to build it up in his mind or get too excited, but it was difficult to temper his feelings. Finally things were looking up. Being with Marinette was amazing, and his father was treating him like an equal.

His father and he rode to the photoshoot together in the limo. Although they didn't speak Adrien felt content just being in his father's presence. He didn't know the last time he was with his father for more than five minutes outside of his office. It was different in a good way. It reminded Adrien of his childhood when his parents would take him out to dinner, the park, or the zoo, and they would spend quality time together.

Upon arrival his father headed to the set and Adrien was ushered into makeup, as was typical. He did his duty and sat patiently, chatting with the makeup designers politely as he did in every shoot. He enjoyed his colleagues, and usually this was his favorite part of the shoots (aside from leaving them).

He was escorted to the dressing room where the new lead designer himself was waiting to dress him. His father was at the shoulder of M Rene, watching silently. Clearly M Rene was nervous, but he still held himself confidently.

"Good afternoon, M Agreste, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Philippe." Philippe bowed slightly and Adrien smiled, waving casually.

"Hello, thank you, I'm happy to be here." Adrien realized that he meant it. He looked at his father, who said nothing. "You can call me Adrien."

Philippe nodded and Adrien got into position. After that it was a whirlwind of being observed, patted down, and grabbed. As he got older it was during this part of the process when Adrien decided he disliked modeling. He often felt objectified and ignored. This time, his father's eyes were calculated and attentive to him. It was bizarre, getting the attention he so desperately craved in this context, as a human mannequin. Adrien didn't hate it today. At least his father was there.

As was typical, the clothes had to be adjusted and pinned in specific places to lay properly, to give the illusion of casual wear, despite that the pieces had been pressed and handled with the utmost care since the beginning of their conception. Adrien was led to the set carefully, all eyes on him. The photographer and director began to position his limbs like a puppet.

His father was there during every step of the process and Adrien found himself looking towards him for approval often.

He watched his father pat Philippe on the back and quietly suggest changes. Philippe would nod and immediately re-pin the clothing on Adrien. It happened multiple times where, upon Gabriel’s request, Adrien's limbs were moved a fraction of an inch forward.

"You can tell me what you need. I can move myself," Adrien suggested lightly after another repositioning. He couldn't re-pin the clothes, no, but he could move his own body for goodness sake...

"My apologies, Adrien, I just want to get it perfect," Philippe said. Adrien nodded. He understood Philippe's perspective: if Gabriel Agreste gave an order he had to listen. Adrien's suggestion hadn't been for Philippe, anyways, it had been for his father who was giving the orders.

"The Model needs to turn the left heel inward," his father said. Adrien's brow arched slightly at the wording: ‘The Model’. Adrien, not wanting to object in front of everyone, obeyed.

"Good," his father said, appraising him. Adrien forced himself not to react at the praise but his heart did skip a beat. That just happened.

Adrien modeled, his father managed, and it went down as one of his favorite modeling gigs ever.

He had a skip in his step the days following the first photo shoot. There were three more to do - one per week for the month. Adrien felt proud, and his father had complimented his good work on the drive home. Adrien would have to think of good topics for the next few rides they had together. Maybe he could even tell his father about Marinette. Not that they were dating but that he liked her. What would dating advice from his father even include? Would he like Marinette? Would he talk about mother, and falling in love with her?

All of the maybes, could-bes, and possibilities made him happy. He missed his father and was determined to make the best of the rare opportunities the photo shoots were giving him. He was spending time watching his father in his element, doing what he loved most. It was amazing.

Marinette was happy for him and shared in his joy. She often commented about how happy he was and even said it was a positive change. It was validating for him, knowing that Marinette was seeing how important his father was to him and why he fought so hard to defend his father. If someone made him this happy then they were worth fighting for.

"I'll see about you coming to one of the shoots. Do you want to?" Adrien asked excitedly and Marinette nodded enthusiastically.

"That would be a dream come true!" Marinette agreed readily. Despite the turbulence between him and his father, Gabriel had once been Marinette's fashion idol. Maybe with a photoshoot he could remind her of the good parts of his father and she'd also warm up to him. He knew she was particularly unhappy with his father about what happened. He couldn't blame her, of course, because if anyone had hurt her he would be equally as upset. Still, he wanted to give Marinette an opportunity to see the better side of his father he knew existed.

“Father, could I possibly invite a friend to attend the next photo shoot?” Adrien was in the car with his father on the way home from the second photo shoot, which had gone as well as the first one. He hoped to get permission for Marinette to join the next shoot, if not both remaining shoots.

“A friend?” Gabriel repeated the words as a question.

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She won the derby hat competition that you held a few years ago. She is a friend and classmate of mine that is very interested in fashion. She looks up to you as a designer. She would stay quiet and out of the way. This could be a great learning experience for her." 

"I do remember her," Gabriel acknowledged that he heard his son's request.

"Do I have permission to invite her to the next photo shoot?" Adrien pressed. His father considered him over the frames of his glasses, which were positioned on the tip of his nose so he could read his tablet on his lap with ease. Adrien waited for his father to decide.

"Marinette..." his father said her name and it was a foreign sound coming from his father. Adrien felt... strange. It was almost ominous, but maybe he was just scared his father would say no. He knew that he was scared of his father forbidding their relationship, but his father didn't know about that and wouldn’t find out about it any time soon.

"This Marinette is a friend?" His father asked. There was no way to stop the blush from appearing on his cheeks which was a dead giveaway.

"She's just a friend." He tried to lie anyway.

The corner of father's lip turned up and he smiled. Adrien nearly choked. His father was smiling. Should he be alarmed or relieved? Waves of confusion and fear and worry hit him hard in the split second between his father's smile and what came next. Adrien didn't realize it was possible to feel so many emotions so quickly with such strength.

"Do you have romantic feelings for this girl, Adrien?" his father asked bluntly. 

Adrien knew better than to give his father anything to use against him. He knew not to do it, as it was the reason he wanted to keep their relationship a secret in the first place. But knowing and wanting were two very different feelings. He wanted his father to care about his life, who he cared for, and what made him happy. He wanted to show off how amazing Marinette was and show his father how loved he was by her. He wanted his father to be happy for him.

Therefore, despite knowing he shouldn’t, Adrien told the truth. "Yes, yeah."

"Very well. Then I must be reacquainted with this young lady. She may accompany us to the next photoshoot. We will pick her up and drop her off at home. I will need her address."

His father said yes. His father said yes!! Adrien smiled so large it hurt.

"Thank you so much! You're going to like her, she's amazing! She's kind and she is friends with everyone at school. Oh, and she’s even the class president. She reminds me of mother." Adrien was practically hopping in his seat.

"I look forward to meeting her," his father said nicely. He held his small smile for a brief moment longer before returning his attention to his tablet.

Adrien smiled out the window and watched the streets, random pedestrians, and ancient architecture pass by. Marinette was going to be so excited, Adrien was happy, and Adrien's father was happy for him. It was everything he dreamed of and more. 

"You're in!" Adrien swooped her up and into his arms easily, currently Chat Noir, and spun her in a circle. To top off his amazing day he chose to visit Marinette and tell her the fantastic news.

"My father seems happy to meet you. He asked me how I feel about you and now he knows I think you're amazing. He doesn't know how much I adore you but we can break it to him slowly..." he buried his face in her neck and nuzzled her sweetly. Marinette laughed and kissed his cheek before separating. She clapped, jumping on her toes, and shared in his joy.

"I'm so excited, Adrien! I can't believe I'm going to such an important photo shoot and your father will be there. I'm going to see Gabriel Agreste managing a fashion shoot. I'm going to be on set with famous designers... What am I going to wear? Help me decide!" Marinette grabbed his hand and dragged him to her closet where she started examining all of her original outfits.

"I don't have time to make something new, but it's not like anyone there has seen my designs so it will be new to them. Oh my gosh, what's my best piece? Will I be overdressed if I wear a dress? Is it cold inside the building? Would it be strange to wear a jacket indoors? Adrien help me!"

Her head popped out of the doorway to her closet and Adrien was completely besotted.

"Plagg, claws in!" He released his kwami and swooped Marinette back into a hug, taking her by surprise.

"Adrien!" she giggled, "I don't have time to hug you, I need to find an outfit. I only have one week!"

"Nu-uh," he objected and started peppering kisses anywhere his lips could touch. With his suit off he could feel her skin against his now and he felt right at home.

"Adrien let’s- mff! " His lips found hers and he could feel her smile before returning the kiss. He pulled her tighter against himself and kissed and nipped and switched between her upper and lower lip. He didn't want to let her go. Ever. He pushed her up against her closet wall, which was narrow and partially obstructed with shelves, but he cushioned her head with his hand so she wouldn't be hurt.

Marinette spoke but it was muffled since he latched on tighter to her lips. She tasted so good he didn't want to stop.

She poked him in the belly, where he was most ticklish, and he pulled away.

"Heyyyy!" He pouted, finally releasing his loose hold.

"You're so cute when you can't keep your hands off of me," Marinette said with a confident little wink and side-stepped him.

"I missed you," he whined, still pouting. He put his hands on her hips so they were still touching and followed her as she stepped away from him.

"If you hadn't been so cagey and let me speak you would have heard me say 'let's move this to the bed'."

Adrien stumbled and a choked noise came out of his mouth.

"Too bad!" Marinette said in a sing-songy voice. "Instead, now you have to help me with my outfit."

"But-but I...!" Adrien stuttered again because while they were fast becoming professional kissing partners they hadn't ever migrated to the bed to see how they did in new territory. It felt a little taboo, like a bigger step, and they were respecting their boundaries taking it slowly. However, now that Marinette was mentioning it, Adrien wanted nothing more than to lay her on her back on her bed and see what happened next.

"Maybe some other time," Marinette said coyly, and Adrien was surprised he hadn't turned into a puddle yet. She was being... sexy. It wasn't a word he usually used to describe his girlfriend so as to remain respectful. But right now she was sexy and his brain was going a little haywire. He took a deep breath and stepped away from her, settling himself on her desk chair and spinning it to face her instead. If he didn't step away he would soon have a little problem to take care of.

"Alright, I concede. Time for my personal fashion show, instead."

"Okay! I'll start with this." Marinette held up a blue sequin dress that Adrien already knew would be too formal for the shoot. But when Marinette started to lift her shirt over her head, grinning and maintaining eye contact the entire time, any thought of objecting to the dress and shortening the 'fashion show' was erased from his mind.

Marinette’s POV

"The Model needs to step forward into the light," Gabriel said, gesturing to Adrien.

Marinette was flabbergasted.

The entire shoot Gabriel hadn't used Adrien's name once. Adrien was merely 'The Model'. The first few times she glanced around the room to try to figure out if anyone else found M Agreste’s behavior strange. She heard one woman make a ' tsk ' noise at one point and that was it. Marinette supposed that since she was joining the third session maybe the rest of the crew was used to it. But it was still very strange. She couldn't imagine her own parents calling her ‘The Anything’ when she was standing right in front of them. Maybe she was thinking too much into it, since she knew things about M Agreste that others did not. It was a professional photoshoot, after all, and maybe this is just how they worked.

Adrien glanced at her frequently. She sent him thumbs ups and waves, but knew he wouldn't be able to show any expression to respond. But he could see her and that's what she cared about the most.

Despite Gabriel's behavior the set was amazing. There was so much commotion everywhere. She had only experienced a photoshoot from the finished product: photographs and final prints that were still. In magazines the models' expressions were serious and solitary. It was a complete 180 seeing how the photos were produced in chaos, with no less than forty people involved. Marinette was given a visitor pass and, with the short instruction of ‘don't interrupt anything', was given permission to go anywhere and watch anything. She started with the makeup team, where she was able to introduce herself and talk to Adrien while they fixed his hair and touched up his already perfect skin with makeup.

During the fitting she had to be silent. It was the quietest part of the process, led by Gabriel himself, and there seemed to be an unspoken rule of 'don't interfere with M Agreste during fittings'. Despite this, Adrien smiled at her and used his head to gesture at specific things the entire time. That had earned her a bit of attention from the crew and so once the fitting was done a couple of people approached her to say hello and find out who she was.

"I'm glad to meet one of Adrien's friends. I've known him since he was a tiny little thing. He was homeschooled for a while. We worried." A middle-aged woman named Theresa, who was part of the photography crew, had started up a conversation with Marinette.

"I've been in class with Adrien since he first started college. He has a lot of friends now, which makes sense because he's one of the kindest people I've ever known," Marinette gushed and then realized she was going a little overboard when Theresa started smiling knowingly.

"Nino is his best friend. But I'm the one who wants to be a fashion designer one day so he invited me here today," Marinette finished explaining quickly, blushing slightly.

"He is very lucky to have such a beautiful young woman as a friend." Theresa winked. "Emilie would have liked you, I think."

Marinette perked up at the words.

"You knew Adrien's mother?" Marinette asked, not masking her curiosity.

"Oh, yes. She adored Adrien. Without her at the photo shoots Adrien wouldn't smile. Oh, the pout that little boy had on him! We secretly snapped a photo and presented it to be used for an advertisement once, Emilie was in stitches over it." Theresa recalled the memory fondly and Marinette laughed along with her.

"He still pouts, and it's still adorable," Marinette said with a loving sigh. She looked back at Adrien, smiling softly, admiring him. It was not just his looks, but everything about him that she loved.

"Oh, yes, Emilie would have liked you quite a lot." Theresa patted Marinette's shoulder kindly, pulling Marinette from her reverie. Mariette blushed, knowing she'd been caught.

"I mean - Adrien is very nice and I'm sure he still - um - is cute? Sometimes. We're just friends. So I wouldn’t know... you understand?" Marinette babbled and shook her head, trying to backtrack and undo her slip up.

Theresa laughed nicely. "Don't you worry, sweetheart, your secret is safe with me."

Marinette smiled through a cringe. Great, she had let the cat out of the bag. Oh, even greater, now she was punning in her head. That cute little Chat would be so proud. She turned back to Adrien to watch. Her cute little Chat, she internally corrected. She couldn't prevent the small smile on her lips from appearing.

Adrien’s POV

Adrien made sure to sit an appropriate distance from Marinette both to and from the photo shoot. They were sharing a limo with his father and to say that he had been nervous was an understatement. On the drive to the shoot Adrien gave Marinette a step-by-step playthrough of what to expect. It had filled the ride with calm, polite chatter. On the drive home Marinette did most of the speaking. She expressed her favorite parts, what surprised her, and gave her general observations about the designs themselves. At one point during her commentary his father had commended her on her keen eye for detail. She had mustered up the courage to ask about a particular design choice and why a certain cut blazer had to be presented under a certain light. Adrien never would have known, cared, nor asked about such a detail of the shoot. His father seemed content to answer thoroughly and Marinette nodded, eyes wide with wonder as she learned from his father.

Adrien escorted Marinette to the front of the bakery and he had to stop himself from hugging and kissing her goodbye. The day had gone amazing. When he got back into the car he was grinning and giddy.

"She was a very insightful young lady, Adrien," his father commented nicely and Adrien nodded in agreement.

"She's great. Her own designs are really well done, too. Obviously she hasn't been through fashion school yet but what she can already do is fantastic."

"Yes, I noticed her dress," his father agreed simply. Adrien nodded again.

"While she is a fine young woman I must remind you that your school friends are to remain just that: school friends."

Adrien's smile fell and he looked at his father, confused.

"Pardon?"

Gabriel cocked a brow, as if Adrien questioning him was a surprise. "Her parents are bakers."

Adrien felt his stomach sink.

"Her parents are really, really nice..."

"Be that as it may, you are an Agreste and I own a fashion empire. It is a lesson learned the hard way: you are a tool that can be used to climb the ladder of success. Especially for a young designer."

Adrien balked at the implication.

"Marinette is not using me," he said passionately. "She would never, ever do that."

"You are young, Adrien. I am only advising what is best for you."

"Well, what you're advising is nonsense so I'll follow my own path, thank you," Adrien said rudely, his tone sarcastic and snarky.

"Adrien, this is not up for debate." His father's icy tone was sharp and warning.

Adrien scoffed. "Since when do you care about my personal life, anyways?"

Gabriel was glaring at his son. "I do care. I care that you are safe and not taken advantage of."

Adrien wanted to say that the only person taking advantage of him was Gabriel himself. Using him as ‘The Model’, parading him around for years in public while avoiding him at home. Not allowing him to leave or see his friends. Changing his food schedule and altering their agreement without Adrien's consent. Instead of objecting, Adrien didn't speak. Today had been good, and Marinette had been happy. Arguing with his father would only end badly. That was the real lesson he learned the hard way.

"That girl will no longer be welcome to any more productions and your interactions with her will be limited to school-related activities only," Gabriel declared sharply. Adrien clenched his jaw but stayed silent. He didn't want Marinette brought into it anymore, anyways. Marinette was his , his safe space, and he should have never brought her into play to allow her to be used as a pawn in his father's controlling games. He was naïve to think he could have what he wanted without his father trying to rip it apart.

The rest of the drive home was tense and silent. A tiny voice in the back of his mind said , “He’s never going to change.”

Chapter Text

He didn't tell Marinette about the disagreement with his father and the harsh words his father spoke about her. He didn't want to upset her or make her dislike his father any more. As far as Adrien was concerned, his father was going to have to accept Marinette at some point and that was the end of the story. He was never letting Marinette go, no matter what his father said. Why hurt Marinette when he would ultimately choose her over anything, anyways?

She was over the moon happy the day after the photo shoot. At school she retold to Alya, in detail, what happened at the photo shoot and how much she learned. She joked with Nino at lunch and told him about Adrien's serious 'model face' and how Nino would probably take it upon himself to try to get Adrien to crack a smile on camera. She told them both about a few of the crew members he had known since he was a child, sharing stories of ‘little model Adrien’. Adrien himself was surprised to hear those details, having not realized that Marinette spoke with his oldest colleagues. It was warming to hear that they only spoke fond words about him.

In between classes she admitted to him that Gabriel's comments in the car ride home had been extremely flattering and she said that she was grateful for the invitation. She agreed that seeing his father allow her to attend was a sign that his father may be sorry and was trying to make amends. She said that she was more willing to follow Adrien's lead and try to see past what happened, to see his father as a person and not define him by one bad, wrong action. Adrien threw caution to the wind and kissed her in the deserted hallway, risking that someone may see them. She was amazing, lovely, beautiful, and a better person than his father who was already trying to keep them separated.

He felt guilty for not telling her, but was determined to keep and protect her. Marinette was a line and Gabriel had tried to cross it. Adrien vowed to himself that he would not be convinced away from Marinette. Time and time again she showed him that she was the best thing to ever happen to him and there was no way his father would take that away from him.

On the fourth and final day of the photoshoot Adrien was feeling a mixture of apprehension and relief. After the disagreement with his father about Marinette, the tension between them was high in the limo on the way to the photoshoot. Adrien felt almost suffocated. But, at the same time, he was disappointed that the shared time with his father was coming to an end. It was a contradicting feeling: wanting to share a few extra minutes with his father every day but also dreading it.

Another change was that the limited time project had been the only thing on his schedule since it was so important. Without the project he would be back to the busier and more cluttered schedule he usually had to follow. More time spent on sets and traveling, less time to spend with his friends and Marinette.

Depending on how the final day of the project proceeded he was considering asking his father to lessen the amount of photoshoots in his schedule. He was going to University soon and, once he started classes, he hoped modeling would become part of his past. 

He was glad he kept his thoughts and objections to himself in the limo the week earlier, while his father had spoken negatively about Marinette. He hoped that his compliancy about Marinette (however false it was) had earned him some freedom. He always had to weigh the pros and cons of his interactions with his father, it was just how it had to be. It was a give and take at his father’s discretion, but Adrien learned to navigate it.

After Adrien was finished with makeup he was led to the dressing room. Philippe handed the articles of clothing to him and, with the help of the assistants, Adrien donned the clothes. When every piece was set to perfection and Adrien was directed in the correct position, the photographer started shooting.

The first round of photos went fairly quick since by now the entire crew was familiar with the flow of the shoots. Adrien noted that his father spoke less, not needing to give direction as often as he had on the previous days. Adrien found it relieving; it gave him less chances to disappoint his father.

“That is sufficient,” his father announced after twenty minutes. “Add the blazer.”

His father was standing behind the photographer and Philippe was off to the side, his face hidden from the head of the company. Adrien watched as Philippe’s eyes widened in what appeared to be fear and he turned towards the rack where his designs were prepared.

“M Agreste, I was under the impression we were not going to use the blazer today,” Philippe said politely, and headed towards the rack. He withdrew a black blazer that had a faint plaid pattern.

“We finished early enough to capture a few additional shots with the extra piece. It is important to always be prepared for the unexpected. You don’t succeed in this industry without flexibility.” 

Adrien schooled his features to not react to that advice his father was giving. Flexibility?! A laughable claim from Gabriel Agreste. His father was the most rigid person he had ever known. Philippe gestured to Adrien and he stepped off set to be redressed and arranged.

“Adrien, I didn’t have time to get this one fitted. I was up all night working on the others with the last-minute adjustments from the fitting two days ago,” Philippe said in a strained voice, so quiet that only Adrien and he could possibly overhear.

Adrien’s eyes flickered to his father. Luckily he was distracted, looking over the photos that were just taken.

“It may be tight. If you could pose, um, as loosely as possible it may be… passable.” Philippe was scrambling, clearly stressed by this unexpected development.

“Let’s see how it looks,” Adrien nodded, trying to be compassionate. 

Adrien managed to fit into the jacket but it was, unfortunately, very snug on his shoulders. Due to the tight fit the sleeves did not reach down his arms far enough and it was clearly too small. Adrien practiced a pose with his wrists behind his back, attempting to hide the short length of the sleeves. It was slightly awkward compared to the relaxed look they were going for in the other photos; his back was straight and he looked stiff and professional. It was inconsistent with the rest of the shoot and his father would hate it.

Philippe looked about ready to pass out.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” Adrien patted Philippe on the shoulder and gave him a tight smile.

“Maybe if we roll the sleeves up?” Adrien suggested and Philippe wrinkled his nose at the suggestion. Adrien knew that it was not ideal to fold up the beautiful design but their options were limited.

“Let’s try the pose first, then we can consider rolling up the sleeves…” Philippe chose what he considered the lesser of two evils first. Adrien agreed.

As casually as possibly, Adrien returned to his place on set. He tried to look natural, as if there was absolutely nothing wrong. But who were they kidding? Gabriel Agreste did not earn his position by being oblivious. Far from it. His father frowned.

“What is this?” he asked tersely. The quiet murmuring that was normal around the set suddenly died. It was nearly silent as everyone watched with bated breath. 

Adrien looked at Philippe, who was white as a ghost, and then surveyed the room slowly. Everyone looked terrified. Adrien knew how that felt.

“It’s just a bit snug in the shoulders. I guess…” Adrien faltered and his eyes flickered to Philippe again as he contemplated his next words. Philippe: the protege, the one his father was proud of, the one who was allowed to be seen in public with his father…

“I guess I… my measurements changed. Slightly. Enough to be visibly different. I watched him measure the jacket before I put it on and it is my size. I guess I’m just… not that size anymore?” Adrien heard himself lie, and it was strange.

He knew the words were his but they didn’t sound like they were originating from him. His voice got quieter the more he spoke and everyone’s eyes were glued to him. He was keenly aware that what he just said was not going to go over well with his father. Alarms were going off in his head. Take it back! Take it back! But he couldn’t do that to Philippe, whose entire career was on the line. Still, at that moment, Adrien wanted to shrink and disappear. 

His father pursed his lips and stared at him, his expression blank.

“I see,” he said plainly.

Adrien looked at Philippe, whose jaw was slackened slightly. He did not look like he was about to object to what Adrien had just spoken.

“It is no good. We will use the photos we have and that will be it,” Gabriel said with a note of finality and then walked away, disappearing to review the photos in private. His exit immediately caused a wave of relief and the tension broke. People started talking again, moving again, and the crew started to wrap up.

While the rest of the world continued around him, Adrien stood in the center of the set, not moving, unable to think about anything other than: what did that just cost me?

The start of their drive was silent. Adrien dared not speak. If he was lucky he would be able to get through the drive without any words being exchanged at all. Alas: Adrien was not lucky.

“Between what happened today at the most important project of the year, your insolence regarding your meal plans, and how distracted you were when your friend was at the photo shoot last week, I think it is best that you cut all ties with that young lady.”

“What?” Adrien looked up to his father sharply.

“Clearly you’ve been given too much freedom. I have been lenient, allowing you to visit a bakery, of all places, without properly vetting the situation. You will no longer associate with that girl outside of school.”

“No,” Adrien didn’t miss a beat. His father sighed as if he was exhausted.

“Adrien, let us not dissolve into another childish tantrum followed by a lecture and subsequent begging and an apology.”

Adrien felt his stomach drop at the nonchalant way his father described the cycle that Adrien was constantly trapped in. His father was sitting before him, admitting that he was aware of the way they interacted and he didn't even care. He was saying it like it was nothing; as if the hours his own son spent begging and apologizing, filled with anxiety, and plotting to see him were meaningless. Adrien, stricken, realized suddenly that it was meaningless to his father. Because what he felt didn’t matter, did it? It never did, it never had. The hours and days Adrien spent agonizing over things were just a ‘tantrum’. One word. One fleeting word to his father. One word that was spoken and heard in one second. The arguments and pleading and yearning that consumed years of his life were… nothing.

Adrien watched his father tap away on his tablet with a stylus, oblivious to the whirlwind of emotions in his son sitting a meter away.

“You notice me?” Adrien dared ask. He wondered if his father would even acknowledge it.

“Of course I see it. I see you need to grow up.”

Adrien stared at him, at a total loss of words.

“As such, you are still too immature to realize what is best for you. You will stop seeing Marinette Dupain-Cheng outside of school.” His father spoke the words with a tone of finality.

But Adrien wasn’t done. He didn’t feel done at all. He hated what his father was saying about his feelings, about himself, and about Marinette. His father oblivious and cold and uncaring and Adrien wanted to shake his father until he admitted that he was the broken one, and that he was the one who threw childish tantrums and gave the silent treatment when he didn’t get his way. Adrien felt so many things bubbling up inside of him that he didn’t even know where to begin. So he started with that which was most important: Marinette.

“I’m not going to stop being Marinette’s friend.” His tone was void of emotion because he was feeling so many things he couldn't focus on just one.

“After your humiliating display today I wonder where you find the audacity to think you will be permitted near someone who lives in a bakery,” his father sneered.

“Where do you find the audacity to tell me who I can and cannot be friends with?” Adrien snapped, unable to hold himself back. He’d been on edge the entire day and this was the icing on the cake.

His father looked murderous. “You will not use that tone with me.” 

Adrien let out a huff from indignation.

“It would be in her best interest for you to stop seeing her,” his father said darkly and looked over the rim of his glasses to stare at his son.

“What do you mean by that ?” Adrien asked, anger taking the reins and coming to the surface.

“I’m telling you that you do not want to go against my wishes, Adrien. For your friend's sake.”

“Are you… threatening Marinette?” Adrien asked, hesitating to speak the words aloud because he wouldn’t be able to take them back. 

“I am not threatening anyone. I am merely warning you that things may happen to a bright, young, aspiring designer if she is suddenly brought to the attention of your fans and the media in a negative light.”

“But what could happen to her? Why would the media say anything bad about Marinette?”

“I don’t know, Adrien. Why don’t you tell me?” His father feigned innocence and Adrien felt his heart start to race.

“What are you talking about?” Adrien was confused and getting nervous on top of everything else that was going on inside of him.

“I already stated that you will be vulnerable to people taking advantage of you and my priority is preventing that. Whatever she does, she will face repercussions.”

Adrien stared at his father, confused and somewhat dazed.

“She isn’t going to do anything. She’s my friend and…She isn’t using me.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Adrien felt like yelling but in the small, confined space of the limo he was already starting to feel claustrophobic and trapped. Being stuck with an even angrier Gabriel sounded worse than what he was already experiencing. He sat in silence, wondering if his father could hear or cared about his somewhat labored breaths of panic.

When they got home they went their separate ways. 

He didn’t want to kiss Marinette anymore. In fact, he wanted to run away from Marinette. He was scared of his father’s threat, knowing that he meant it and would follow through if he found out about Adrien's relationship with her.

The following day at school Adrien was hesitant around her, staying further away than he’d recently been accustomed to, speaking to her less, and looking at her less. It was easy, because his drive was to protect her and that came above all else. She didn’t seem to notice until the second day. She frowned at him instead of smiled. She gave him curious looks.

On the third day, it wasn’t so easy to ignore her. He missed her. A lot. He wanted to talk to her, and smile at her, and brush his hand against hers when they crossed paths and no one else was paying attention. Marinette actually tried to corner him but he ran away pathetically, too cowardly to even explain why he was behaving the way he was. She even mouthed “what’s going on?” to him across the library. He pointedly looked away and pretended not to notice. 

He didn’t visit her as Chat, either. He was a walking disaster and he had stupidly dragged Marinette into his orbit. He almost regretted it… but he was selfish, too. He loved Marinette, he loved being around her, and he loved how amazing she was. He loved that he somehow had someone as amazing as her that loved him back. And how was he repaying her? By ignoring her and running away.

She texted him often. At first he would reply with generic responses like, ‘I’m fine’, emojis, and the occasional cat gif. He pretended as if everything was fine via text, all while behaving differently in person. He knew his texts weren’t lining up with his behavior, but he also knew that what he wanted to do and what he was being told to do didn’t line up either. He didn’t know how to behave. 

On day four he couldn’t stomach it anymore and ignored her completely. He didn’t even want to look at his phone.

It was Friday evening and Plagg was insisting he visit Marinette. Adrien spent every minute after school that week either studying, going to activities, exercising, modeling, or hiding under the blankets in his bed. He knew that the weekend was only going to make it worse. Already nearing the late hours of the night, his phone chimed yet again and Marinette’s name popped across his screen. He groaned.

“She’s threatening to climb up to your window,” Plagg said in a voice that sounded much too cheerful for the news he was delivering. 

“What!?” Adrien grabbed his phone and finally unlocked it after hours of ignoring it. He had about 5 missed text messages from Marinette. He ignored the first four and focused on the most recent that did, indeed, say she was going to climb up the side of the mansion if he didn’t confirm he was ok. Her messages were all like that: asking how he was, wondering what was going on with him. She knew that it wasn’t about her at all.

His phone started ringing.

“Shit!” he yelled out, frustrated. He was hurting and worrying her, and he was so upset. Look at what he was doing to her - to himself - to both of them! She didn’t deserve it! He picked up the phone.

“Marinette, please stop calling and texting. I’m fine. I just need some space and I don’t know how much. You’re better off, okay? Please stop worrying about me. It’s not about you, you’re perfect. Please stop.”

He hung up, not even letting her speak. It was awful, he knew it. He was doing exactly what his father did to him, wasn’t he? Bossing him around, giving him orders he didn’t want to take, ignoring him for days. He was usually on the receiving end of it and now he was doing it to Marinette. It was awful but he couldn’t stop and he didn’t know why. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He didn’t know anything at all.

Chapter Text

Adrien sat down on his bed when he returned to his room after a two hour Saturday morning workout session, and he didn’t move for a long time. He stared at the wall and when his lower back started to hurt from the position he splayed out and stared at the ceiling instead. He needed to shower. The endorphins from a workout were supposed to make him feel better, weren’t they? That’s what the internet said. But he hadn’t slept much the last few nights and now, after a grueling workout, his body was exhausted.

His thoughts, however, were everywhere: unsettled, pulling up and recalling every minor detail about his father, Marinette, and what lead up to his current situation. He wanted to scream. Why was he doing this to himself? Why did he sit and think and obsess? Why was he being awful to the people who loved and cared for him? Why was he pushing people away?

He had to keep thinking. He had to think about it in order to solve the mystery and figure it out. He couldn’t do anything else, could he? He had no control over anything except the thoughts in his head. Thinking was all he could do.

His father told him bluntly that he was aware of their twisted dynamic of push, pull, and beg. How long did it go back? Why didn’t his father want him to be happy? Did his father know during those first few months after his mother’s disappearance that Adrien would sit on the bench outside of his office and wait? Did his father know Adrien would wait in the dining room for a full hour to pass, because he was waiting for him to arrive? Did his father know that Adrien was turning into him? Did his father realize that those things hurt and now Adrien was hurting people, too? Did his father care?

Did. Could. How. Why.

He’d never get the answers. And what answers did he want? Did he want to be told that his father knew all along that he was suffering? Did he want to be told that his father didn’t care? Did he want Marinette to be around just to get wrapped up into the mess that was the Agreste family curse?

Why did it always come down to his father? Why couldn’t Adrien be free of it? Adrien was a smart person, he knew that actions spoke louder than words. He knew that his father didn’t want to be near him, or else he would make it happen. So what was he doing?! Why was he doing this to himself? Why was he yearning for his father to change into someone that he knew would never exist? Why was he turning into something he hated? Why was he letting his father threaten someone he loved?

Adrien started breathing heavily, knowing the feeling well. He was about to start crying, he might possibly throw up. He was going to have a panic attack, alone in his room, while his father worked on his tablet one floor below him without a care in the world.

It happened. It was quick, but the pounding headache that started once he calmed down wouldn’t be quick. It would persist and remind him of the panic attack. It would be the nagging reminder that he was childish and needed to calm down, that he needed to stop over-reacting, that he was a coward. It would be the constant reminder of what his father had done, and what he had done to Marinette, that made his head hurt in the first place.

In these dark, solitary moments is where Adrien felt the urge to be nothing. It didn’t happen often but it happened enough for him to know what it felt like to not want to be alive anymore. He didn’t want to die, not exactly, but he didn't want to feel. These were the times he wanted to feel hollow, because hollow would be better than this. Anything would be better than this.

“Adrien?”

It was Plagg.

Adrien looked up at his kwami lazily and made a non-committal noise. He didn’t want to talk. He thought he might explode if he spoke and he didn’t want to yell at Plagg. He just wanted to do nothing.

“Adrien there’s an akuma,” Plagg said darkly. “I can tell Ladybug you can’t come.”

Adrien closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

“No, I’ll go.”

“Adrien, I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” Plagg said with patience he did not usually show.

“I’m fine!” he snapped and Plagg immediately stopped talking.

“Plagg, Claws out.”

Marinette’s POV

Ladybug was scared. It took less than a minute to realize something was terribly wrong and the entire mood of the battle shifted when Chat arrived. Alone, she had been facing the akuma with a fairly traditional tactic of ‘distract and avoid’ until Chat arrived. She already figured out where the akumatized object was and had a vague plan of what they could potentially do to capture it. Chat had taken longer than usual to arrive, but when he did she was, at first, happy to see him. 

And then he started fighting the akuma and everything turned sour. 

He was unhinged in a way that Ladybug only recognized in her nightmares, as an all-white ghost with electric blue eyes. He was ruthless and uncaring. He used his baton to smash buildings, not caring if the walls were sheltering civilians. He used his strength to rip out electrical poles and throw them towards the enemy like a spear, blind to where the makeshift weapons landed the times they missed their target. When he used his baton as a baseball bat to hit a loose brick towards the akumatized victim, Ladybug had to take a hit to save the spectating civilians the bricks would have crashed into.

“CHAT NOIR!” She threw her yo-yo at him, circling his shoulders and binding his arms to his torso. His head whipped to the side and he glared at her.

The akuma, noting the disagreement between the heroes, immediately switched to the offensive now that he was no longer being chased by Chat.

Ladybug picked up the bound Chat Noir and ran away from the akuma, hiding between buildings for a moment of reprieve. The akuma would have to come second; the damage would be reversed as soon as she was able to cure the city. But she couldn’t defeat the akuma with Chat Noir behaving the way he was.

Ladybug threw Chat Noir to the ground ungracefully, knowing it wouldn’t hurt him, and stood above him defensively, ready to attack. He was sitting on the ground, legs askew, head bowed.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Have you been akumatized?” she asked stiffly and scanned his suit for any signs of change. He looked completely normal but she knew that didn’t always mean things were okay.

“No,” he said bitterly and his shoulders fell. “Plagg said I shouldn’t come out. He was right.”

“Kitty, look at me,” Ladybug crouched down to his level and lifted his chin.

“You’re going to sit this one out, okay?”

“I’m here, I can do it,” Chat said quietly, sounding miserable. Ladybug shook her head.

“No. You almost hurt two civilians, I had to jump in front of them. Did you even see what you did?”

Chat’s eyes widened as he learned the truth. Clearly he had been unaware of the destruction left in his path. He shook his head and Ladybug believed him. She tried to make herself relax but…

She reached out and grabbed his bell, yanking it from its position under his chin. Once it was loose she crumbled it in her hands and it broke in two. Nothing appeared. She relaxed significantly.

“I told you I wasn’t akumatized,” Chat said again, his voice guarded.

“Can’t be too sure, kitty,” she said, frowning.

A large explosion echoed around them and Chat’s head whipped to the side.

“I’ll be back. Please stay. We can talk afterwards, okay?” Ladybug retracted her yo-yo from around him and he was free. He stood up but kept his head bowed.

“I can do it,” he insisted, appearing properly humbled.

Ladybug wondered if benching him would make him worse. She knew Adrien was fragile, especially right now, and he needed to be in control of his own decisions. Hoping she wouldn’t regret it, she let out a heavy sigh.

“Okay… just… stay away. Watch and be ready to use Cataclysm. No fighting and no attacks, or else I’m sidelining you permanently. We don’t hurt civilians.” She gripped his shoulder tightly, tighter than she would anyone else without a super suit, so he could feel how serious she was being with her words.

“I won’t attack,” he agreed. “I’m sorry.”

“Apologize to the people you almost killed when this is over,” Ladybug said bitterly. Maybe she was being harsh but what he had done was inexcusable. He was lucky he was even getting another chance to fight. If she didn’t know he was Adrien (and going through something) under the suit, she wouldn’t have given him the chance.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, looking very ashamed.

“Let’s go.” Ladybug turned away from him and they went back into the battle.

Adrien’s POV

Adrien hunched over and breathed heavily. They had stopped the akuma and he had just retreated after profusely apologizing to the two people he almost injured. Luckily they had been understanding and downright kind. It made him feel even more guilty for what he’d done. 

To say that his behavior during the battle had scared him would be an understatement. He had thrown himself into it without a second thought to his own well-being or of the well-being of the people around him. He had been crackling with Plagg’s destructive magic as soon as he transformed. He hadn’t been able to focus on what he was doing, let alone the destruction he left in his path.

“Chat, please calm down,” Ladybug took a step towards him, hands extended, frowning.

He was disappointing Ladybug now, too. He couldn't do anything right. He dodged her attempt to touch him, to comfort him. That’s not how he wanted it to be between him and Ladybug. He was supposed to support her. He had royally messed up, but he didn’t need to make it worse. He had to convince her that he was fine, he had to get things back to normal. He had messed up with Marinette and he was furious with his father. The dynamic between Ladybug and Chat Noir was the only thing in his life that hadn’t been ripped at the seams yet.

“I’m fine Ladybug,” he said sternly. She frowned.

“Chat, please don’t lie to me. You were erratic during the fight today, something is wrong.”

“I don’t need this right now!” he snapped at her, eyes narrowing.

“Is it something at home? Please talk to me. I’m worried. I’ve been worried, Chat.”

“I don’t need you to worry about me, Ladybug! I don’t need you at all!” he shouted, his chest rising and falling faster as his heart sped up.

Ladybug frowned, clearly wounded by his words. “Chat…” she said sadly.

“What do you want from me?! I’m here, I show up, I do everything you tell me to do, I let you take the lead every time! You don’t want to know who I am, but you want me to sit here and tell you how I’m feeling? My feelings don’t matter here, Ladybug! We fight akumas, we win, we save Paris, we go home. That’s it. You made it clear from the beginning that’s all you want us to be: Akuma fighting partners, the end. You don’t need to ask how I am. I did my job and it’s done now! That’s normal, that’s how it is.” He was yelling, spitting the words with contempt, and the hurt and anger that built up over the years was pouring out of him.

He was finally moving on with Marinette and now Ladybug was going to pretend to care about his feelings?! He just wanted everything to be normal.

“I care-,”

“No! No, you don’t. You care that I was ‘acting erratic’ during the akuma battle. You only care if I can’t listen to your every command perfectly. You don’t see that I do everything right every other time, you only see when I do something wrong!”

He knew what he was saying was cruel, but in the moment he didn’t care. He was feeling so overwhelmed and it was dawning on him that Ladybug was just like his father. She wanted him to be perfect and got mad when he made one mistake, when he had one bad day. She wanted him to be perfect and hated when he wasn’t.

“You’re just like him!” he said bitterly, holding his head in his hands as he paced in distress, his brain suddenly aligning the similarities between his father and Ladybug.

Ladybug was crying now. “No, I-I’m not…”

“You don’t even know what I’m talking about!” Adrien couldn’t stop yelling. He felt like he was drowning, like no one was listening, like this had been going on for too long and now he was just floating before the end. His heart was pounding so hard he thought it could be the start of a heart attack if he didn’t calm down. This was worse than a panic attack, this was more than he’d ever experienced.

“Adrien-Chat, no, I promise.”

“Wh-what?” he said sharply and everything stood still. It was like the emotional waves froze. The emotion went to the background and his shock came to the forefront. “You said my name.” 

“Adrien, I’m sorry,” Ladybug was crying now, her hands on her cheeks, her shoulders shaking.

Adrien shook his head, bewildered at hearing his name leave Ladybug’s lips. Ladybug was saying his real name.

“How long have you known?” he asked, his voice shaky.

“I… it’s me, minou,” she said sadly, “Marinette.”

Adrien stared at her. Blue eyes, raven hair, same height, same build, same voice, same stance. He saw it clearly, the glamour of the miraculous broken in an instant.

“Stay away from me.” He said with deadly calm. He stared and stared and watched her cry and shake her head to begin protesting.

He backed away, towards the edge of the high building they were standing on.

“Adrien, please, don’t leave like this. Talk to me, let me talk to you. Don’t go.” She took hurried steps forward and Adrien withdrew his baton, holding it in a defensive position. She stopped and put her hands up in surrender.

“STAY AWAY!” he yelled, louder than ever, and dove off the side of the building.

Adrien was not okay. His brain was in overdrive. Everything was wrong, wrong, WRONG. Marinette - LADYBUG - lied to him. Then he yelled at her. He threw a fit and ran away. He was going to lose her. He definitely lost her. He already lost everything. He lost control of everything. Did he ever have control of anything at all?

There was no way Marinette would accept an apology after how horrible he had been to her, both in and out of the suit. It didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. He lost Marinette, he lost his mother, he lost his father. He had nothing but Plagg and that was going to be taken too, after how he treated Ladybug. What more was there to lose?

Nothing. The answer was nothing.

His father always said he was childish and threw tantrums.

He was right. He was so right. His father was incredibly right and Adrien felt so consumed by that truth. If throwing tantrums is what he did then he was finally going to relish in. 

So that’s what he would do.

“Plagg, claws in.”

“Adrien, you need to have some cheese and calm down.”

Calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down.

How calm could he be?! He had been calm. He had been nothing BUT calm for years. For years . He was sick and tired of being calm.

“Adrien, please-,”

“Stop talking, Plagg!” Adrien shouted. The kwami was forced to obey. He flew to the mini fridge and quickly took a piece of cheese before floating back to Adrien and staying near him in solidarity.

Adrien was shaking, his jaw was clenched, his fists were clenched.

He threw open his door and let it slam against the wall. He marched down the hallway, blind with fury and turmoil and anxiety and desperation.

Why was he like this? Why did he react the way he reacted? Why was he so sensitive? What was wrong with him? He was so angry. He didn’t know if he’d ever felt so angry in his entire life.

For the first time in his life he did not knock before entering his father’s atelier. The door swung in, loud and abrupt. His father was at his desk, talking at his laptop, possibly on a call or in a meeting - something Adrien didn’t care about at all. Why was some meeting always more important than him?

“Hang up,” Adrien said dangerously low. Gabriel looked stunned, a look that was foreign to his son.

“Pardon me, I’ll be just a mom-,”

“I SAID HANG UP!” Adrien yelled this time, not caring who was on the other line and hearing this ‘tantrum’ of his. What did it matter anymore? What did anything matter?

Gabriel pressed the power button, closed his laptop, and stood, seething.

“What is the meaning of this!?”

“Why are you doing this to me? Why can’t I leave the house? Why can’t I see my friends? Why do you want to take away someone that makes me happy? Why can’t I eat when I’m hungry? Why did my mother leave me? Where is she?! Why are you doing this to me? Why don’t you talk to me? Why don’t you spend time with me? Why don’t you love me?” 

Adrien was screaming. His voice was getting hoarse. His eyes started watering when he mentioned his mother. He was shaking, he had to bite down hard to prevent his teeth from chattering.

Gabriel stared at him, his eyes narrow.

“I can sense how angry you are.”

Adrien’s eyebrows raised in exasperation. “YES, I’M ANGRY!” He slammed his fist down onto his father’s desk, his head hanging.

Adrien heard the whip of his father’s cane and jumped backwards instinctively. He felt the breeze of the cane pass by his face, this time not making contact.

“WHY??” Adrien screamed again, motioning to the extended cane, his eyes wild with shock and anger and everything he was feeling. Too much. 

“Nooroo, Dark Wings Rise!”

Adrien stumbled backwards. What the fu-!!

Shadow Moth stood in place of his father. A purple butterfly flew out of his cane. Adrien stared at it, not breathing, not yet processing what he was seeing: shocked still, unable to move. 

When the akuma was about to land on him, the barrier of protection activated and the akuma twitched and fell to the floor as if it was electrified.

“Megakuma!” His father tried again, another purple butterfly leaving the cane. But now Adrien was aware of what was going on. The shock was urging him to move rather than stay frozen and he rolled to the side and crouched down.

“Plagg, CLAWS OUT!”

The green light consumed him and in Adrien’s place was Chat Noir.

“WHAT?!” Shadow Moth roared. It echoed around the room as Adrien launched himself out of the window to his right and vaulted to the nearest rooftop. Then he ran, jumped, and ran faster.

He chanced a look behind him only once and saw the akuma still chasing him. His anger was still there, potent, just below the surface of shock. But now he had something else to follow and cling to: the instinct to survive and to protect his Miraculous.

When the bakery was in sight he moved faster than ever, and didn’t bother with the latch before kicking the skylight in, breaking it. He dove into Marinette’s room, head first, and rolled onto her mattress and off of her bed. The skylight was hanging off of one latch, swinging pathetically, and the Megakuma was flying through the opening. Her room was empty but he could hear voices below him. There was no time for secrecy, no time to hesitate. Chat Noir could not be akumatized. He ripped open the door and literally tumbled down the stairs into the living room, rolling and landing on his side at the bottom of the stairs in a heap. He scrambled to get up.

“Chat Noir!?” Sabine’s hands covered her mouth as she shrieked his name in surprise. Marinette, who was staring wide-eyed at her partner, was sitting on the sofa next to her father. Tom had one arm around her. She looked like she’d been crying.

“Megakuma!” he shouted desperately at his partner and looked up towards her bedroom. The purple butterfly was already halfway down the stairs. He scrambled away from it further, moving across the living room.

“Marinette!” he shouted, which seemed to finally snap her into action. She stood and jumped over the back of the sofa.

“Tikki, spots on!” 

There was a whirlwind of pink and the sound of a yoyo swishing, and the purple megakuma was no more. The room was completely silent as they all watched the white butterfly phase through the window and out of the room.

“Oh dear,” Sabine said quietly, staring at her daughter, then shifting her eyes to Chat Noir, and then back to Ladybug.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Marinette suddenly said, waving her hands madly at her parents.

“Uh, it looks like you’re Ladybug?” Tom said in awe. 

Marinette squeaked and turned to Adrien, turning her back to her parents. She ignored that it was, indeed, exactly what it looked like.

“What happened?” She hurried towards him and gripped his upper arms tightly. She looked concerned, although not angry (yet), and frantic.

“My-my father-he-he’s Shadow Moth,” Adrien said in horror, unable to believe the words coming out of his own mouth. “I was so angry, I started yelling at him, and he transformed right there in front of me. He tried to akumatize me but the charm worked, so he tried again. I panicked, and-and I came here. I don’t know where else to go. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

He started shaking again, worse than before, and Marinette’s grip tightened.

“Did he see you transform?” she asked severely, never breaking eye contact. He nodded. He kept nodding and then he choked.

He pulled her into him and hugged her fiercely. Even if she hated him because of what happened earlier she was right in front of him and he couldn’t help it. He needed something, anything , to help him. He needed Marinette.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Ladybug was petting his hair and holding him tight. He squeezed his eyes shut so the red of her Ladybug suit was hidden from his view and focused on Marinette’s voice. One thing at a time.

“Adrien, I need your ring,” she said softly, still holding onto him tightly. He froze under her arms.

“What?” It was exactly like he thought earlier. She was going to take Plagg away from him, too. She was going to take away Chat Noir. He failed and she was going to abandon him, too.

He pushed her away gently, separating them.

“No,” he stepped away, his face wet with tears, preparing to escape.

“Not permanently. Only until you feel better. You cannot be akumatized with the ring on. Please. Do you trust me?” She reached back towards him and this time held onto him. She was not going to let him retreat like she did on the rooftop.

“Adrien, do you trust me? I promise on everything we have, I will give it back. Please.”

He closed his eyes again midway through her talking. It was Marinette, not Ladybug, who was requesting the ring. Marinette, who told him over and over: your feelings matter. Marinette, to whom he revealed his identity. Marinette, who was always there for him.

He slipped off the ring and held it out to her, still not opening his eyes. 

Chapter Text

Marinette took the ring immediately and then placed it into her yoyo, releasing Plagg back into the Miracle Box and into her care.

“Plagg?” she said urgently, and the black kwami appeared.

“That evil snake had Nooroo the entire time, right there with me in the house! He attacked Adrien again, but he finally stuck up for himself. And you!” He flew into Adrien’s covered face and poked his cheek. “Don’t you ever order me around like that again or I’ll Cataclysm your action figure collection.”

Marinette pulled Plagg away from the clearly stricken Adrien, who still had yet to move or open his eyes. He was severely distressed and breathing heavily. Marinette continued to watch her surroundings, making sure another megakuma hadn't arrived. Shadow Moth (Gabriel freaking Agreste) had sent multiple akumas in the past after failing the first time. Adrien was a prime candidate at the moment.

Plagg wiggled away from her grip and flew back to Adrien, this time settling into his hair and burrowing into the golden locks.

“You’ll be okay, kid, we’re all here for you,” Plagg consoled him, a complete 180 from moments ago. Adrien’s shoulders sank marginally. 

She quickly stepped forward again and pulled Adrien into her arms. He responded in kind.

“I'm sorry,” he said so quietly she almost missed it.

“Everything is going to be okay. I’m glad you came here,” Marinette said into his shoulder, and kissed his cheek. 

“You don’t hate me?” he asked miserably and Marinette shook her head, which he could feel through the hug.

“Never. Not ever,” she said honestly. Even when he destroyed the world she hadn’t hated him. She definitely didn’t hate him now. 

“Marinette?” Her mother’s voice interrupted the silence.

Marinette tensed and exhaled slowly. Her parents were there: still watching and waiting. They had seen everything and now knew both her and Adrien’s identities. Luckily Adrien started panicking and diverted the conversation once again.

“He can't know I'm here. I can't... he is going to check. I need to leave, I have to get out of here! You're all in danger! I didn't think, I just... I just ran..." Adrien looked horrified, his eyes wide and searching the room for answers. "If Shadow Moth... he'll come here. As my..."

"I'll take you somewhere safe," Marinette decided immediately. 

"No!" her father objected.

"Dad I..." Marinette stared at her parents in fear. No, not Marinette. She was still Ladybug.

"If he shows up here transformed we don't know what he'll do... Why would he come here, Adrien? Does he know about me?" Marinette whirled around, back to Adrien.

"No! No he only knows that I... me, Adrien, I mean... after the photo shoot he guessed how I feel about you. He'll check for me here. He said I'm not allowed around you anymore."

Marinette decided that now wasn't the time to focus on why that was, but instead they should focus on the Miraculous side of it all.

"He'll only come here looking for Adrien, not Chat Noir, and definitely not for Ladybug. We can stay here. We should stay here because if he checks it will be suspicious if I'm gone." Marinette gripped his upper arms in what she hoped was a reassuring way.

"Tikki, spots off," Marinette said after one more survey of the room. For the time being there were no more akumas and that meant they were likely safe. But Adrien really needed to calm down and, well, that was going to take a while. Tikki immediately flew away to eat and gather strength in case of an emergency. 

"I'm here and we’re together," Marinette said, hoping to help soothe him. He nodded and stepped forward to her first, circling his arms around her.

She could feel him shaking. She rubbed up and down his back gently.

“I asked him why he doesn’t love me and he turned into Shadow Moth. He tried to hit me again and then he just… he’s Shadow Moth!” Adrien cried, still holding onto Marinette tightly.

“I know,” Marinette said because that’s all she could say. She didn’t want to tell him it was okay, because it definitely was not okay. 

“He told me I can’t be your friend. He said he’d hurt you - or something. I don’t know. He threatened you - me. He threatened. I had to stay away from you, so I’ve been avoiding you. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do anymore. Why is he like this? What’s wrong with me? Why does he hate me?” Adrien cried into her shoulder and she held tight. She wished she had an answer but there was no answer to his questions. 

“I’m safe, we’re together. I love you,” Marinette told him with certainty. She needed him to know that despite whatever his father did to him, whatever his father thought of him, she loved him anyway.

“What’s wrong with me?” he repeated the question, his voice young and lost.

“Nothing is wrong with you. It’s him. Something is wrong with him,” Marinette said and meant it completely. His father was insane, clearly. Sane people did not terrorize cities and turn into super villains.

“Come sit.” Marinette started pulling away and led him to the sofa. He used his sleeve to mop up his face and nose, his head hung miserably. Marinette’s parents watched with concern.

A phone started ringing and her father walked into the kitchen to retrieve his phone.

“Hello? This is Tom Dupain,” his voice was the only sound in the house and everyone could hear clearly.

“No, I haven’t seen him today. We’re with our daughter now.” Tom re-entered the room and pointed at Adrien then at the phone. Marinette tensed.

“Marinette, have you heard from Adrien? His father is on the line,” Tom asked in his most nonchalant voice.

“No, I haven’t since school. Is something wrong?” Marinette feigned innocently in case it was picked up by the receiver.

“She hasn’t seen him, is everything all right?” Tom inquired with a perfectly interested voice. “Oh, okay. We will call if we hear from him. I’m sorry to hear that. Goodbye now.” Tom ended the call. “He said Adrien left the house, distressed about his mother. He said he’s been looking for him.”

“That was my father? Not Nathalie?” Adrien was staggered. It was the first emotion other than misery she’d seen since he burst into their home, so Marinette appreciated it. 

“Yes, it was him,” Tom confirmed. Adrien’s brow furrowed.

“Nathalie must not know about it…” 

Marinette considered this but was not convinced yet. Myura was a known accomplice of Shadow Moth, and which female was closer to Gabriel Agreste than his assistant Nathalie - who was never seen without him?

“We’re safe here. You’re safe here, Adrien,” Marinette’s mother said kindly and sat on the sofa next to Adrien.

They sat in silence for a few minutes and Adrien seemed to relax marginally.

“I understand now why you’ve been avoiding me.” Marinette wanted Adrien to know she forgave him. It had been a rough few days and she was undeniably hurt by his behavior towards her, but knowing now that he had done it to protect her was somewhat reassuring.

“I had to. He meant it.” Adrien’s shoulders tensed and he shook his head. “He really, really meant it. He’s… oh my God. What’s he doing? Why…” Adrien’s breath hitched.

“The wish,” Marinette answered gently. She had an inkling as to why Gabriel wanted the wish.

“My mother,” Adrien said miserably. “I miss her too but… could the wish bring her back?”

“Yes, but someone else would take her place. Perhaps multiple people, or someone of equal emotional value.” Tikki reappeared and answered Adrien’s question.

“For all we know the wish would make Gabriel lose you just to regain his wife,” Plagg grumbled, clearly unhappy with that prospect.

“Does he know that? Do you think he knows there’s an exchange?” Adrien looked at Plagg, although his question could not be answered by the people who heard it. 

“Would he really trade me for her?” Adrien asked aloud. Then he let out a dry laugh. Because isn’t that what he told his father he wanted? Just a few weeks ago he had yelled at his father, wishing he had his mother and not his father. It was ironic that his father would also want his mother more than him, too; it was so hypocritical of him to judge his father, wasn't it?

“I told him I wished he was dead instead of my mother and now…”

“You didn’t mean that, you were just upset. Adrien, you’re a good person and he’d be crazy to want to trade you for anyone.”

He shook his head but didn’t speak again. Marinette looked at her parents but they appeared just as lost as her. It was bizarre that her parents, her support system, the adults, didn’t know what to do either. But it wasn’t all lost. In fact, despite how it transpired, their current situation was… not exactly a bad one.

“He knows your identity, but we know his. He would be foolish to reveal your identity and risk us sharing that he is Shadow Moth; he has a lot more to lose than we do. Plus, I don’t think he wants the world knowing his son is a superhero - that would put a target on your back.”

“I think it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t care about me being a target,” Adrien said dryly. 

“I don’t know if I agree with that, Adrien,” Marinette disagreed hesitantly. “He’s still your father.”

Adrien shrugged.

“He made a mistake exposing his identity,” Marinette said resolutely. “We can work with that.”

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Sabine looked stricken still, somewhat breathless from the sofa still beside Adrien. “My daughter-”

Marinette’s phone chimed with the set tone that meant one thing: Akuma Alert.

“Oh no,” Marinette said morosely.

“What?” Tom asked ominously.

“There’s an akuma.” Marinette stared at Adrien’s bowed posture and knew that he could not, under any circumstances, fight alongside her.

“That’s two in one day!” Sabine sat up straight, worry evident on her features.

“It’s a trap for Chat Noir,” Marinette decided immediately. She could see Adrien’s nails digging into his knees. 

“I have to go,” he announced, his bitterness and fear evident.

“NO!” Marinette exclaimed passionately. “I’ll get Rena. We can cast an illusion of you.”

“There is no way he’d fall for an illusion now that he knows who I am. It has to be me.” Adrien sounded as reluctant as Marinette felt. “Maybe he just wants to talk.”

Marinette looked at Tikki and Plagg for support. Tikki looked apprehensive but Plagg looked eager for a fight.

“You cannot be akumatized as Chat Noir,” Marinette said sternly. “He’s going to try to upset and akumatize you.”

“I won’t let him…” Adrien said unconvincingly.

“No. No, I can’t let it happen.” Not again. Marinette clenched her fists, decision made. “I’m going alone.”

“You can’t!” Both her mother and Adrien immediately objected. 

“I have to. You don’t understand. You can’t come with, Adrien. Trust me. Please.” Marinette stood up and turned towards him. She leaned forward slowly and lifted her hands to cup his cheeks. He stared up at her with wide, worried eyes.

“Please trust me.” Marinette rested her forehead on his, eyes closed, and she inhaled deeply, using his nearness and scent as a blanket of comfort.

“I trust you.” Adrien spoke quietly and Marinette could feel when his shoulders fell and he acquiesced. Marinette leaned forward and, despite her parents’ audience, kissed Adrien on the lips very lightly before standing up and squaring her shoulders.

“Tikki, spots on!” 

She landed on the Eiffel Tower. It was after sunset and the tower was sparkling as it did in the evenings. The echoes of thousands of people below her were audible even from the top of the tower. The akuma was barreling towards her location, a tail of starlight behind it. According to the sightings and subsequent report, this akuma hadn’t attacked yet. It had, instead, been flying across the city from building to building - seen by many but with no apparent goal or power of attack.

Ladybug, however, knew better. His goal was to get her attention, and with the starburst following his every move he most certainly did that.

When he landed before her she had to squint. Her eyes adjusted rather quickly to the bright glow with the dark background, but it still made her hesitate. If this akuma wanted to attack her, that would have been prime time. He did not, however.

It was a younger gentleman, perhaps in his mid-twenties. He was wearing yellow spandex and his cape flowed like a cloud behind him, billowing and leaving sparkles to fall and disappear at his feet. It was quite the spectacle. Ladybug surveyed the man and spotted two potential locations for the akuma: his hood and the wand in his hand. Both were not as impressive as the glowing hues covering the rest of him.

“I am Starlight,” the akuma victim said with a voice that echoed. He bowed low, dramatically. 

“I come to shed light in the dark. Shadow Moth would like to illuminate you,” the akuma announced and then stood as still as a statue. His eyes stared ahead into nothing and the familiar purple butterfly shape appeared over his face.

“Where is Chat Noir?” The akuma’s voice was no longer echoing but was instead the same depth and tone as Shadow Moth’s.

“He’s safe and finally away from you, Gabriel Agreste.” Ladybug decided that it was no use hiding what they both knew. He was exposed.

“You will bring me Chat Noir,” Shadow Moth ordered.

“He doesn’t want to see you."

“You will bring me Chat Noir or I will unleash an army of akumas into the city tonight starting at midnight. I will not stop until Chat Noir returns to me. Any destruction and blood will be on your hands, Ladybug.”

The purple butterfly outline disappeared and Starlight smirked, regaining his faculties. Ladybug wasted no time reaching for the wand and snapping it in two pieces. No butterfly emerged which meant it had to be in the hood.

“Not this time, Ladybug!” Starlight jumped away and soared through the sky. Ladybug had rendered him unable to attack (whatever the wand could have done, she’ll never know), but he was still able to flee.

“I must shed light on the darkness!” Starlight cried out and continued flying around the city. Ladybug growled and chased him.

At least it was only a game of tag, and not a game of escape-the-missiles. With the incentive to return to Adrien as quickly as possible, she made quick work of the akuma.

Adrien’s POV

Ladybug was back home in under half an hour, and Adrien felt immediate relief. He hated having her go out alone and he was more worried than ever. His father was a wildcard now. His father, the terrorist. Of course he wasn’t just a controlling, cruel, isolated man: he was also a terrorist!

“What happened? Are you okay?” Adrien ran up to Marinette eagerly. She detransformed and sank into a chair in the living room. Both of her parents were still in the room as well. The three of them watched the live news broadcast the entire time Marinette was out. Ladybug had met with the akuma on the Eiffel Tower and then chased it around the city. Luckily it looked like a fairly easy akuma that did no real damage.

“I was right, he made that akuma just to get to you,” Marinette said in a strained voice. 

“What did he say?” Adrien asked.

“He said he would send out an army of akumas tonight at midnight and won’t stop until you go home. I have all of the other Miraculous but it’s a numbers game. Is there a limit to how many akumas he can control at one time?” Marinette looked to Tikki and Plagg for an answer.

“He can create as many as he wants until he is too exhausted to control them. Akumas are fueled by emotion, so if he’s angry enough it could last days,” Tikki said.

“We know who he is, we have the upper hand. I can hand out the Miraculous and let the team take care of any surprise akumas, and we can face Shadow Moth ourselves.” Marinette looked towards Adrien. “If we show up like he wants, he may not even send out akumas.”

"I don't want anyone else in danger because of this. He wants me, just me. I should go," Adrien said, suggesting the most logical solution.

"Never," Marinette dismissived him immediately with a wave of her hand. She wouldn’t even entertain the idea. 

“It sounds like a trap,” Tom said in a low voice, his brow knitted.

Not for the first time, Adrien thought about how well Marinette’s parents were taking everything. They had asked only a few brief questions when Marinette left to fight the akuma. Luckily Plagg was a host of knowledge for them. They seemed quite amused with his kwami.

“It is a trap. But we can take him, I’m sure of it. That’s not what I’m afraid of…” Marinette’s eyes darted to Adrien and she twisted her hands together nervously.

“Me?” Adrien asked, but wasn’t surprised at all. Of course he was a liability right now. His heart hadn’t calmed down since the first akuma attack, he was on edge, and he felt miserable. Everything was exploding and it was getting worse by the hour. 

“We can take him together but… but if he akumatizes Chat Noir I don’t know if I can win.” Marinette sounded terrified and he couldn’t blame her. He couldn’t even reassure her because, frankly, he wasn’t sure if he could stop himself from extreme emotions taking over.

“I can run away again, which would give you time to capture an akuma if it starts to chase me?” Adrien suggested half-heartedly, knowing it wasn’t a good suggestion. If Shadow Moth was there she would likely be distracted and unable to chase after him and cleanse an akuma. Marinette frowned, not even responding.

“Can we help?” Sabine asked, looking nervous herself. “This is much more terrifying knowing it’s my own daughter risking her life…”

Sabine hugged her husband and he held her back, nodding. They were truly worried.

“If not me, then someone else’s daughter,” Mariniette said plainly.

“Marinette is one of the best Ladybugs I’ve ever met. And I’ve been around for a few thousand years.” Tikki floated towards Marinette’s parents and patted each of them on the shoulder.

“I’m Tikki,” she added nicely.

“Thank you for trying to reassure us, Tikki. Plagg spoke highly of you,” Tom said with a thick voice. He was kind enough to thank Tikki but it didn’t mean his worries were gone, not when it was his daughter flying through Paris defeating supervillains.

Adrien felt jealous. His father hadn’t worried at all; instead, he tried to make his son a puppet in his sick performance. Gabriel saw him as a tool, whether he was a model or a superhero or an akuma, it didn’t matter so long as it was for Gabriel’s benefit.

“It has to be us,” Marinette said somberly. “Thank you for offering help but it has to be me and Adrien. It started with us, and that’s how it will end.”

She looked at Adrien with all of the confidence he himself was lacking.

“I’ll keep you safe, and you’ll keep me safe. No matter what." Marinette gripped his hand and squeezed. He nodded, knowing there was no other option, and their decision was made.

“For you, Marinette,” he said resolutely. He had decided weeks ago that Marinette was the priority in his life and that now extended to her as Ladybug. No matter what he was feeling about his father, he would never allow Marinette to be harmed whether it was by his father’s hand or his own. He would protect his Lady until the end of the world.

Marinette's POV

“Sweetie, we are so proud of you,” Sabine said rather tearfully into her daughter’s shoulder. Marinette hugged her mother and then her father. Now that they knew her secret their dynamic was bound to change slightly, but she hoped that their relationship would not.

“I couldn’t tell anyone, it would severely put you in danger. If you ever tried to protect Ladybug and treated me like your daughter it would put my identity at risk, and it would put you at risk,” Marinette explained sadly. “Please, please - I know this is a huge request but I need you to promise that you won’t tell anyone I’m Ladybug. No matter what. If you… if you ever see me injured, or if something bad happens. You can’t expose me. You can’t.”

Her parents looked heartbroken. It was an almost impossible request but it was one that she had to ask and she hoped they would uphold.

“Being Ladybug requires sacrifice. I agreed to do this, I knew what I was signing up for. You guys don’t get that choice and I’m so sorry for putting this responsibility on you without even asking your permission. But you have to let me do this.” Marinette tried to convey the importance of her anonymity, but the attachment of parents to their children was one that she did not yet understand, and knew it would be difficult to win them over.

“Marinette, we would never stand by and watch you be hurt without trying to save you,” Tom said bluntly, saying the words that Marinette hadn’t vocalized but implied.

“I don’t want that to happen either but…” Marinette’s eyes started watering. Talking about her mortality was surreal and difficult.

“The magic of the Miraculous offers protection beyond anything you can imagine. It is unlikely that Marinette would ever perish with Ladybug Miraculous power keeping her safe,” Tikki said and Marinette appreciated the words of reassurance, despite the reality they all knew. The Ladybug Miraculous was powerful, but so were her adversaries. 

“This is…” Sabine shook her head and looked at her husband for answers but he didn’t seem to have anything to say, either.

“It should never come to that,” Marinette said, trying to be positive. “The Miraculous Ladybug magic cures after attacks, too. There is magic on our side.”

“This is going to take some getting used to,” Sabine finally said, sighing. 

“Right now, today, we have to deal with Shadow Moth and I need to help Adrien.” Marinette said worriedly.

“It’s terrible,” Tom said with a slow shake of his head. “He is welcome here for as long as he needs. Even if it’s long-term. I expect we owe him more than we even know since he’s been keeping you safe all of these years.”

“I wouldn’t be here without him,” Marinette agreed softly, looking at Adrien with an adoring expression. Her mother cleared her throat.

“He’s allowed here in separate rooms,” she said pointedly and Marinette blushed.

“Wah-wait. I mean, I didn’t know he was Adrien until a couple of months ago. Before it was just Chat. Me and Chat, and then… um… kay,” Marinette stuttered a bit and then nodded, deciding to stop talking before she spilled some unnecessary details. Her parents definitely did not need to know about Chat Noir sneaking into her bedroom late at night.

“He’s going to need you more than ever,” her mother said kindly, pulling Marinette out of her embarrassment. She patted Marinette on the shoulder gesturing to go to Adrien and Marinette nodded.

“Thank you both. I love you so much!” Marinette hugged her parents yet again and looked at them with teary eyes.

“We love you too.”

“And we are so proud of you.”

Marinette felt bubbles of emotions and the part of her that adored the warmth, safety, and comfort of her parents’ embrace didn’t want to leave. But she was Ladybug, she wasn’t a little girl anymore. She and Adrien were about to face their biggest adversary, and it now fell on them to protect her parents, their friends, and their city.

Adrien's POV

Adrien was shaking. Without Marinette’s hand in his, he struggled to stay steady. He could hear her parents and her talking from the kitchen, but his own thoughts were circling so rapidly in his head he didn’t have the mental capacity to listen to them. If he’d been on the brink of a mental breakdown before his father attacked him, then he was in the pits of a mental breakdown now.

His ears were ringing, his eyes were unfocused, and he didn’t know anything. When Marinette spoke of a plan, what they had to do, and that they would do it together, it was the only time he felt at ease and poised to move. If he had a goal, he could complete it. He was always good at taking direction, especially from Ladybug. Unfortunately his life was now wrought with unexpected chaos, it was no wonder he was lost in it all.

Marinette was Ladybug. 

His father was Shadow Moth and tried to akumatize him.

His father was insane and he was about to go on a mission with Ladybug to defeat him. His own father.

What would defeating Gabriel Agreste include? Would his father go to jail when the Miraculous was taken from him? Were they even going to get the Miraculous from his father? Was his world going to end if his father won and decided to use the wish? Would he get his mother back? Was his father going to kill him? Was he Luke Skywalker?

The last thought had him laughing aloud to himself like an actual crazy person. But, as he decided earlier, he was in the middle of a mental breakdown so perhaps laughter was just another thing on the ‘Signs You’ve Lost Your Mind’ checklist that he could tick off.

“Can a Miraculous turn you insane?” Adrien asked Plagg, who hadn’t left his side. Maybe that would explain both his and his father’s behavior. Maybe insanity from Miraculous usage was a hereditary trait.

“No,” Plagg said in a very certain way. “Power can. He thinks he’s super human so it’s gone to his head.”

“He is super human. We all are when we wear a Miraculous.”

“You know that’s not true. I’m the god, not you. You’ve died twice, haven’t you?” Plagg scoffed at the notion and Adrien had to agree because, well, he was correct. He had died more than once and Plagg had not.

“Fighting magic requires magic. It’s how you level the playing field. It doesn’t make you immortal like us kwamis. You are still just a boring, vulnerable human under the suit.”

Perhaps insanity from Miraculous usage wasn’t in his genetic code; maybe it was just pure, natural insanity. Maybe he was just a ticking time bomb of mental issues waiting to erupt as his brain developed further. His father told him often how unstable he was, and he had gotten worse as he got older. If he reached his father’s age then perhaps he would become a supervillain, too.

“I’m like him,” Adrien said aloud.

“What? No way!” Plagg poked his cheek. “You’re like… burrata cheese. You’re mild and squishy. He’s a sharp parmesan, extra stinky but in a bad way.”

“Did you just say some kind of cheese was bad?” Adrien was pulled out of his reverie by surprise.

“No, I called your father bad,” Plagg said and flapped his arm to brush off the accusation. “We’ll be better off here.”

“What do you mean?” Adrien asked Plagg, not understanding.

“Weren’t you listening? They said you can stay.” Plagg nodded towards the Dupain-Cheng family unit in the other room and Adrien blinked.

“But I have my own room at home,” Adrien said flatly. Why would he leave home? If he left, his father would be alone-

His brain assaulted him again with the reality of his situation. Right. His father was Shadow Moth. His father attacked him and tried to akumatize him.

Adrien groaned and let his head fall into his hands again. He wouldn’t be leaving his father all alone if he defeated Shadow Moth - his father would be leaving him and going to jail. If his father won then he’d be killed. His father might actually kill him, for real. Adrien’s stomach clenched and he felt sick. He leaned forward and started taking deep breaths. He couldn’t get sick on Marinette’s sofa!!

His father and him were going to be separated. It was something that people said should happen. He heard Nino’s voice in his head (‘You can come stay with me, bro!’) and he heard Marinette’s voice (‘I don’t like you staying there.’). Even Alya’s concern echoed (‘You need to stand up to him.’). How many times had Chloe offered to let him stay at the hotel for free?

But every single one of those offers were rejected because it came down to one thing: Adrien did not want to leave his father. He loved his father. He wanted to stay with his father, and he wanted his father to want him to stay, too.

Despite the many voices and concerns he had never, not once, truly wanted to leave his father. Did he even want to now? 

No, a voice in his mind said immediately. And that was the answer. He didn’t want to leave his father alone. Still. Even knowing he was Shadow Moth. Maybe, if they could take his Miraculous, they could rescue his father and teach him to be a better man. Maybe he would eventually be cured from the taint of the Miraculous. Now that Marinette and her parents knew the truth, he would have help teaching his father how to behave. The loving family could be examples for his father. Maybe. Maybe his father wouldn’t have to go to jail. It was ultimately up to him and Ladybug, right?

Adrien’s heart felt broken. He started crying again. He didn’t want to lose his father. He was losing his father in real time and there wasn’t anything he could do about it… he didn’t want it! He wanted his dad, his father, the man who he trusted most in his whole world. The man who hit him. The man who tortured his friends and innocent people. The man who was willing to sacrifice his son or innocent people. But Adrien didn’t care, did he? He loved his father and he wanted to save him.

Adrien felt the sobs starting to overcome him. How could he still love someone so horrible? What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he save his father?

Adrien didn’t know. He didn’t understand. He didn’t know if he ever would.

“Adrien?” Marinette walked back into the living room and immediately noticed Adrien’s emotional state.

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately, not even sure what he was sorry for at this point. Crying, feeling, being a huge target for an akuma, loving his father still.

“Everything has happened so quickly I can’t imagine how tough this has been for you. Don’t apologize, please.” Mariniette sat beside him and rubbed a hand up and down his back.

“What are we going to do? I don’t want to lose him,” Adrien admitted the shameful truth, unable to look at Marinette’s face. He didn’t want to see her disappointment, but Mariniette didn't object or call him crazy. 

“We will figure it out, but in order to do that we need to face him. We need to stand up and go to him, and we have to stay strong. Both of us.” Mariniette gripped his hand and spoke forcefully, with passion. He knew that every time she said ‘we’ she really meant ‘you’.

“Yeah,” he said vaguely. He wanted to be strong but he wasn’t sure where he was going to find that strength.

“You and me against the world, Kitty,” Mariniette said and rested her head against his shoulder.

“He needs to be arrested,” he said, dejected. He knew the reality of it but didn’t like it. Once again, he would lose a parent.

“Yes,” Mariniette agreed.

“Maybe we can save him.” Save him from what: justice? Never before did Adrien believe Shadow Moth deserved forgiveness until he learned it was his father. He knew it was hypocritical and futile, even as he said it.

“Adrien…”

“I’m tired of losing the people I love,” Adrien lamented. Fresh tears started gathering in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry Adrien.” Marinette clung to him, listening to his ramblings patiently and giving him only support.

“I still have you.” The ease in which he could say it and believed it was electrifying, motivating in its truth. It was something to hold onto in the midst of mayhem.

“Always.” She grasped his hand and squeezed it tightly. He held on, unable to imagine ever letting her go.

Chapter Text

Adrien's POV

A few heroes, including Rena Rouge, Carapace, Tigress, and Pegasus, were scattered throughout the city on Akuma Watch. Adrien still wasn't aware of all of their identities, but that was a small detail to be shared later. After. After they stopped his father; after they won; after they were defeated; after whatever happened next. Adrien found himself both lost in thought and keenly focused during his and Marinette's discussions about The Plan. He hardly even realized how much time passed until he looked up and saw the sun had set fully and the moon was glowing dully in the night sky. His time to brace himself was up.

Ladybug took charge as always and recruited and dispersed their defensive team on her own. Afterwards, she returned to the bakery to collect him. He was grateful for her patience, and relieved that she hadn't asked him to be more hands-on with the preparation. He was feeling better, relative to the situation. Further proving how amazing she was, Marinette did not rush him despite knowing that they needed to act before midnight. She allowed him time to breathe, process, and calm down. It took nearly an additional hour before he declared he was ready to leave.

True to her word, Marinette returned his Miraculous ring to him. She didn't hesitate: she transformed, withdrew her yo-yo, and presented him with his black ring. Adrien couldn't help the way he became choked up while she displayed to him her loyalty and honesty. He was so lucky to have her.

Marinette said goodbye to her parents, mumbling about how weird it was while she climbed out of the living room window. Together Chat Noir and Ladybug made their way to the Agreste Mansion. His home. His father's fortified castle. Where his father plotted terrorism. The chill was returning to the deep recesses of Adrien's bones. Where the bakery and Marinette's home had soothed him, returning to his own home had his muscles spasming in protest. They stopped on a rooftop across from the mansion and Adrien was glad for the reprieve.

Although it was almost midnight, the beginning of the end was upon them. Maybe the new day would be when the sun rose. Or when they captured his father. Or when his father took their Miraculous and made his wish to trade his life for his mother's. 

"We're not going to let him win, Adrien." Ladybug gripped his arms and was staring into his eyes with determination.

Had she read his mind somehow? He pulled her towards him, wrapping her into his arms. He started to pull away when a rouge, not-really-the-right-time thought invaded his mind. Ladybug's lips were close, he was mid-step pulling away from her. He backtracked and lowered his lips to meet hers. His clawed fingers grasped her chin, and he felt her mask brush against his cheek. Her lips were warm and familiar - Marinette's. He pulled away after the brief kiss.

"I've always wanted to do that," he admitted. Just in case.

He tightened his hold on her hip and stared into her blue eyes.

"And I promise you will have more chances to kiss Ladybug for the rest of our lives," Marinette said softly and kissed his cheek, sealing the promise. He hoped it was true.

"I love you," he said again, repeating and holding onto the words, knowing it was all that was keeping him together.

Love would have to win, because it was all he had left.

They moved together. 

Adrien followed Ladybug. He knew the plan, it was in his head. He knew that he needed to follow Ladybug. He was going to ignore his father and not verbally respond to him. If it came down to combat, he would take the lead: he was a better physical fighter than Ladybug. Ladybug would do the talking, and give his father a chance to surrender and be reasonable. Adrien wondered if it would work; maybe his father was capable of being rational with Ladybug. Maybe it really had been him the entire time that caused his father to become upset. Maybe if he hadn't barged into his father's office and yelled, his father would have reasoned with him.

Ladybug kicked open the door to his home, the force knocking the double doors inward. There was no stealth in the entrance. They were storming the castle. She strode to father's large office, glaring at the door that his father hid behind for years. She barged into the room just like Adrien had done earlier in the day.

"Gabriel Agreste, hand over the butterfly Miraculous and surrender."

"Adrien," his father ignored Ladybug and immediately addressed his son.

Adrien stood still by the door and clenched his teeth. Don't respond, the voice of reason echoed in his mind.

"He doesn't want to talk to you," Ladybug stepped in front of Chat Noir and withdrew her yoyo.

"He only has to listen," his father said calmly. Too calm. He was like a snake charmer, using his magic to try to soothe Adrien, who was tense and ready to attack at the first sign of conflict.

"You've done enough damage by making him listen to you for all of these years." Marinette glared at the man who had once been her idol, and who now filled her with disdain.

"Adrien, this has all been for your mother. I can bring you to her. If you want to see your mother again, awake and healthy, we must work together." Shadow Moth continued.

"Bring me?" Adrien spoke on auto-pilot. What did that mean: bring him? Show him her… corpse? Adrien's throat tightened at the vile thought.

"Your mother is here," he admitted.

Ladybug gasped and Adrien’s mind started reeling. Here? In his house? Where he'd lived without his mother for four years?

"What do you mean?" Ladybug stepped forward, in front of Adrien still, shielding him from whatever tale his father was about to spin.

"Rather than explain, I can show you, son." His father continued to address Adrien directly, inferring Ladybug's responses as his by proxy.

Ladybug watched carefully, her yo-yo at the ready and knees bent in a fighting stance. Adrien's position couldn't be more opposite: arms hanging by his side, standing with his shoulders slumped. His mind was not focused on defending any sudden attacks, but he was instead fixated on his father's fingers pressing into the portrait of his mother, revealing a hidden button system. The portrait had loomed over him in the office since as early as he could remember.

The portrait started to move, revealing a glass door. Behind the door was a platform to a shaft that descended downward. His father didn't pause before stepping onto the platform and disappearing down - into a basement that Adrien never knew existed.

"Adrien!" Ladybug's face was in front of him, blocking the view of the secret entry. She shook his shoulders softly and his eyes found hers.

"Please focus, I need you. Wherever is down there - whoever - we face it together. If there's any chance he's telling the truth we will find a way to save your mother without using the wish."

Adrien nodded. Because what else could he do? 

Use the wish, a voice of treason whispered in the back of his mind.

His disturbing thought snapped himself out of his daze. His mother was... downstairs. Dead. Or possibly not dead, he didn't know. But Marinette was directly in front of him, a sure thing. He raised his hands to Marinette's shoulders, gripping tightly.

"I love you so much," he said with vivid clarity and pressed his lips to hers, hard.

Her hands moved to his cheeks and she responded in kind with the same intensity.

"You and me." She pulled away and locked eyes severely. Adrien nodded and steeled himself.

They descended together into an atrium. It had a large lofted gangway that led to a dais, where lights illuminated a large, metal device.

"Oh, God." Marinette's hand clenched in his.

The device was shaped like a coffin. His mother's headstone in their private garden held no casket. Her body was never found. 

Clearly another lie.

His father was already standing beside the device and was clicking buttons on a tablet.

"Adrien, I love you." Marinette sounded terrified.

He couldn't look away from what he was sure was his mother's resting place. Her body, she, was in there. Under his house. Meters below where he slept for years.

He led himself and Ladybug to the device, morbidly eager to see what the device contained. She was whispering things to him, telling him to focus, telling him to stay calm, begging him to stay with her. He was focused on the dais. He was clinging to her, making sure she stayed by his side.

The metal top of the device slid open and Adrien froze. Ladybug bumped into him and gasped at the sudden stop. Did his father just open the top of a coffin for a person who had been dead for four years?!

"What is this, what are you doing?" Adrien asked, his voice trembling. 

"Come, see for yourself." His father coaxed him forward and Adrien didn't move. He didn't want to see his mother's decomposing body. Why would his father do this?! How could his father stare so lovingly at a corpse?!

"Look, Adrien," his father ordered and Adrien's feet moved, motivated by the need to know. He had to know for himself how deranged his father was, what destroyed his family, how the contents of a coffin could be so alluring that he would destroy the world of the living around him.

"Adrien…" Marinette's voice was warning, and he heard it, but he still stepped forward. He squeezed her hand and glanced at her.

She tugged him, willing him to stop. He pulled back, and she gasped. Their hands separated and he stopped moving.

"I have to know," he whispered to her, although the atrium echoed his father could probably hear his words. 

"He's manipulating you, please don't listen to him." He could see the tension in her body, she looked ready to attack at any moment. He, on the other hand, was curious and stunned into submission. If this was a trap, he was willingly falling for it. 

"You shouldn't have come," Marinette said, sounding terrified.

"I need to know. No more lies," Adrien spoke this louder, ensuring his father would hear.

Marinette whimpered but gave in and reconnected their hands. This time she let him pull her forward, too. 

Adrien stared down at the coffin, device… whatever it was. His mother looked asleep. Alive. His heart hammered with excitement. Was she alive? His head shot up to his father and he looked triumphant.

"She can be saved. She's perfectly preserved, but on the brink of death."

His heart stopped. Preserved sounded like some form of mummification. His father did not say alive.

"What does that mean?" Adrien asked.

"It means you can save her with the wish."

"Is she alive?" Adrien asked bluntly, needing to know the answer. What options did they have? If she was alive, there could be hope of a cure, something his father overlooked.

" Yes," his father breathed with unbidden urgency. "She was moments from death before I placed her into the device. This allowed her body to be salvaged so her soul could be returned."

Adrien recoiled from the device, standing up straight. He had been leaning over it, hands on the glass like a viewing window at a zoo, disturbingly entranced by his mother. His mother was trapped in her dying moment.

“You can’t do this! If you make the wish, someone else will take her place!" Ladybug proclaimed, stepping forward and holding her hand out in defiance like a true hero.

“It’s a small price to pay," his father rebuked immediately.

"Mother wouldn’t want this," Adrien said quietly, his eyes watering as he surveyed his mother again at a distance. She looked untouched by time, perfectly preserved as his father said, on display to be pined after. His father must have spent hours standing where his son now stood, plotting and planning, talking to his mother through the glass. Her appearance was deceiving. She looked merely asleep, an illusion that could reduce anyone to madness.

If Marinette was trapped under the glass, would Adrien have done any different? What if it was the love of his life lying lifeless in a machine, waiting to be saved with a wish that would put someone else in her place. His eyes finally trailed away from his mother in order to land on Marinette. She looked distraught, her own focus split between his mother, him, and his father. The entire Agreste Family was causing her misery. They must be cursed. He looked down at his mother. She was proof of their curse.

He didn't want to be cursed, like his parents. He wanted out. He didn't want Marinette to suffer the way his parents had. He had to protect her from their contagious misery. The decision he hesitated to make for years was decided instantly, like he was hit in the chest and every bone in his body shattered on impact.

He. Wanted. Out .

"We can't do this, father. Give her your Miraculous." Adrien's voice was wrought with pain. He was crying again, filled with his horror, sorrow, and fear.

"You could have your mother back in moments. Instead you're begging for her death." His father's scathing words hurt worse every time he spoke.

Adrien choked and gasped, getting more upset. "What is wrong with you!?"

“Adrien…” Ladybug placed a hand on his shoulder and he took a few deep breaths. “I’m here.”

He couldn’t allow his father to manipulate or akumatize him. He had to stay calm. He focused on the feeling of her hand.

“You’re upset…” His father mocked his distress. “We can use that to our advantage, Adrien. Together we will save your mother."

“Fight, Chat Noir,” Ladybug ordered with clenched teeth and dove towards Shadow Moth.

Adrien’s fist slammed down onto the glass pod and he let out a frustrated growl. He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see his mother's body any more. The closure he never received was only half resolved. He now knew the truth but it was a devastating one. His mother had faded away before his young eyes without his knowledge, and succumbed to her illness without a proper goodbye. Now he knew that he would never get one.

“Chat Noir, fight it!” Ladybug’s horrified voice interrupted his thoughts and his head shot up. The akuma landed on his bell before he even recognized there was danger.

Chapter Text

Marinette’s POV 

“NOO!” Ladybug screamed and her attention was diverted to Chat and the disappearing akuma. Her mind flashed to the alternate reality where Ladybug was preserved in ash.

This was it. This was the catalyst and she had allowed it to repeat.

Shadow Moth yelled in triumph. He used her distraction to his advantage and his cane connected to her side without restraint. She flew airborne and then slammed onto the ground, rolling a few times until she lost momentum.

But she wouldn’t abandon Adrien. Ladybug heaved herself onto her knees and crawled towards Chat Noir, who was holding his head in distress while he battled the akuma within.

“Adrien!” She stumbled forward despite the vortex of black and purple smoke that surrounded him. He fell to his knees.

“No, stop it!” He cried out, his voice cracking in distress.

“Succumb to the power, my son, and you will be reunited with your mother.”

Marinette threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around Chat Noir. Despite the power trying to shove her backwards she held strong.

“I’m here, kitty. I love you. You can feel sad and angry, but don’t let him control it. Let it out. I’m here…”

She clung to him and the swirls of purple started fading, the black taking over. Destruction, Chat Noir , was winning.

“I need you, Adrien, I-!"

Ladybug was wretched away by a powerful tug on her shoulder. She screamed in surprise and pain. Her shoulder was burning at the force of being pulled, feeling strained almost to the point of dislocation.

“No!” Adrien’s voice cut through the sounds of the magic. He was reacting to Marinette’s pain. His hand was outstretched towards her.

Shadow Moth swung his cane at her face and her head made a loud crack noise when it ricochet off the metal gangway. She cried out and kicked her legs somewhat blindly, hoping her flailing would strike Shadow Moth, who was charging towards her. Their distraction was costing them. She had been too caught up in her feelings, giving Shadow Moth a chance to attach. Our love destroyed the world.

“Time to squish you, little bug!” Shadow Moth's foot pressed down on her chest, pinning her in place. She twisted and tried to dislodge him but he was crushing her ribs under his boot and she was losing her breath quickly. The only reason her ribs hadn't cracked was her Ladybug suit, she was certain of it. He gripped his cane with two hands and pointed the end down towards her. Her eyes widened and she could only watch as he forced it down and it impaled her in the clavicle, where her right arm met her shoulder. The cane fused with Nooroo's magic penetrated her own magical suit and she felt it sink into her skin.

She screamed and choked at the pain burning from the stab. She turned to look at her arm, shocked at the sight of her blood. Was it still attached to her? Could she feel her arm? She wasn’t sure of anything except the pain and spreading crimson.

He wretched his arm back, withdrawing the cane from her shoulder, and it was almost as painful as when it stabbed into her. She heard something tear inside of her and she writhed on the floor.

A white blur flew over her and she tried to follow but she was seeing spots between each thump of her heart. Her pulse vibrated down her arm making her acutely aware of her humanity. She was merely made up of a brain and a fragile heart pumping blood. Her body kept her alive, and in that moment her body was failing her.

She had to move. Do something!

She tried to roll and landed on her left side successfully before she started shaking. But rolling over was all she could tolerate. Her eyes were drawn to the battle taking place before her: Chat Blanc was fighting with Shadow Moth, meeting him blow for blow.

“Don’t ever touch her! Ever!”  

Chat Blanc slashed his claws at his father. When his father jumped away he followed immediately, mirroring his moves. With a flick of his fingertip a white cataclysm burst forth and Shadow Moth dodged, just barely.

“I was such a good son. And for what? To be stuck in a prison with no friends? Not anymore. Chat Blanc will be free to roam the world. A world without you.”

Chat hopped, flew, dodge, and flung himself in every direction. He evaded Shadow Moth with focused expertise that Chat Noir had lost over the previous, harrowing day, having been flooded with too many emotions and overwhelming feelings. Chat Blanc was free of the weight of Adrien’s emotional burden.

“I command you to stop this instance!” Shadow Moth yelled. 

Chat Blanc cackled and stopped moving, obeying the order.

“Okay,” he shrugged and grinned. He leaned forward and held his hands out before him instead, palms facing up. Two balls of white light emerged from each of his palms and started growing bigger, and bigger, and bigger.

“Adrien,” Marinette struggled to speak and tried to reach out her left hand toward Chat Blanc. “Help me.”

Chat’s super hearing allowed him to hear and his head whipped to the side. His icy blue eyes met hers. His brow narrowed and he snarled.

“You hurt my lady.” 

The white power balls stopped growing and were expelled out toward Shadow Moth, who was able to dodge one of the orbs. The second orb, however, met its target and struck Shadow Moth's lower leg. He cried out and fell onto the ground. He blinked down at the stub where his leg was whole moments before. There was no blood, it was just… gone.

Chat Blanc ran over and kneeled beside Ladybug. He helped prop her up into a sitting position.

“I’m sorry, my lady,” he cooed quietly and petted her hair. She groaned but forced herself to sit up through the pain with his assistance.

“Please don’t hurt me,” she said in a small voice. His eyes widened.

“I would never hurt you, Ladybug. Never.”

“You did once. Chat Blanc killed me,” Marinette admitted through clenched teeth. 

“M’lady, I would never.” He shook his head and turned up his nose, dismissing the notion entirely.

"Kitty, I need you here. I need your heart to be your own, not his."

"It finally is my heart, Marinette," he whispered her name quietly so Shadow Moth could not hear. "This is my new heart that doesn't care what he thinks anymore. I'm more free than ever. The only thing that could make it better is if he disappears and stays gone. Forever."

"What about m-my arm?" A shudder ran through her body and she jerked. The nerve endings in her shoulder felt on fire. She had a bleeding, open wound, and her sleeve was dripping with blood.

"I can take care of you, my lady," he said into her hair.

"The only way to fix my arm is the Miraculous cure. I need to purify an akuma to do that, Chat. Will you help me? Please?" She started shifting out of his grasp and he froze.

"Why are you moving away from me?" he growled darkly, a total 180 from his soft consoling.

"It hurts sitting like this," she said through gritted teeth. He deflated marginally.

"I'll Cataclysm him and we can leave... but don’t you dare leave without me, Ladybug." He let go of her once she was balanced against the railing and stood up. His words were a warning, a threat.

"Chat..."

He ignored her and turned his back to her. He was quite the sight, one that terrified her. His white suit was smeared with her blood, a stark contrast that made him look murderous. 

"Shadow Moth, you have abused this city and your family for too long. This is your end."

Chat Blanc withdrew his baton and grinned manically before pouncing towards the one-legged villain. Shadow Moth had managed to pull himself up into a standing position with the use of his cane despite losing a limb, but he was no match for Chat’s agility and, ultimately, his Cataclysm.

"You stole my childhood. You made me feel empty. You made me feel worthless. You made me hate you. You made me do this." Chat’s words lacked anger despite the cruelty of them.

He stepped up to Shadow Moth, who, for what it's worth, did try to dodge out of the way. He fell to the ground. Chat loomed over him, his steps slow and controlled, like a predator stalking its prey.

"Cataclysm," Chat Blanc said, and his hand glowed white as the blast charged. 

"What do you want your last words to be, father?"

(A small part of him - the smallest, tiniest part, wanted to hear an apology. Still, after everything, he was yearning for approval. Chat Blanc growled and ignored the feeling, instead allowing the bitter resolve the akuma empowered him with to take over once again.)

Shadow Moth's eyes narrowed at Chat’s glowing hand, and then he shifted to face the coffin containing his wife. He refused to look into his son's eyes even in his final moments.

"You were a disappointment to the very end." Gabriel lifted his chin and stared at his wife's body.

Chat Blanc screamed in rage and lunged forward.

The blast was big, bright, and lasted only a second. It expanded out and retracted almost instantly. Where Gabriel Agreste once existed was empty space.

(Inside his chest, Chat felt a piece of himself die and a rush of pure adrenaline simultaneously. But the akuma suppressed the pain quickly. He was free, free, free !)

"Oh, Kitty..." Marinette said softly. He turned towards her. He could see the tears rolling down her cheeks, but the fresh wave wasn't brought on by her pain. He leaped to her and hugged her against his chest.

"It's better this way, m'lady," he said, smiling too wide.

He was too happy, crazed after killing his own father. Marinette lifted her gaze to meet his blue eyes. She tried to mask her fear, using the pain in her arm to distract her from it. Her left trailed up his chest and rested on his pectoral muscle.

"You did it, Chaton," she said with a sad, heavy voice.

"We're free!" he said in awe, grinning.

"No," she shook her head and said, "You're free."

Her hand squeezed around the bell and it cracked in her grip.

Chat Blanc froze in place, as if a robot without any power, and Marinette's body slacked in relief. The akuma flew out and circled aimlessly without a master or direction.

"Oh, God..." Marinette cried out, taking a few seconds to herself now that she was technically alone. She was in terrible pain and both afraid of, but in love with, the man in front of her. She looked into his blue eyes and yearned for green.

The blackened akuma was fluttering about. She struggled but managed to lift her yo-yo with her left, uninjured arm. It scooped up the butterfly and purified it to white.

Chat Blanc faded and Chat Noir stood in his place.

"Mar-what!?"

"Lucky charm." She finally called her power and a photograph of her and Adrien smiling at one another, eyes filled with love, floated into her hand.

Adrien wrapped his arm around her, bearing most of her weight when she slumped against him. He looked at the photograph in her hand.

"It's okay. We're together. It's us: we're the lucky charm. You and me against the world." 

"I fail-"

"Stop it. You saved me." Ladybug didn't have the mental fortitude to comfort Adrien right now. He seemed to realize that and didn't continue his sentence.

"Where is my father?" He surveyed the room, eyes lingering on the pod for a brief moment.

"He will be right over there once I use my power. Are you ready? You need to take the Miraculous as soon as he reappears, before he realizes what's happening."

Marinette released her grip on his arm and pointed to a space near his mother's resting place. Adrien made sure Marinette was stable enough to stand on her own before walking to the designated spot.

"It's going to be okay," Marinette said in the softest tone she could muster. She weakly threw the lucky charm into the air.

"Miraculous Ladybug!"

Adrien's POV

In the blink of an eye Shadow Moth reformed exactly where Ladybug promised. He was sitting on the grass, as if he had been dragging himself towards his wife during his final moments. Undoubtedly, Adrien knew what he had done; what Marinette was forced to witness and fix all by herself. Adrien had been a monster who killed his own father. But thinking would have to come later.

For now he was Chat Noir: Ladybug's partner, a hero. He rushed at Shadow Moth and removed the brooch and pin from their homes on his collar. Instantly, splayed out before him was merely his father. His father on his knees crawling to the source of his downfall. Adrien wondered if the disgust, fury, and betrayal overwhelming him was anything similar to how his father felt after he first struck him with his cane all those weeks ago. Did his father watch him crawl on the floor with similar feelings? Was Adrien truly becoming his father?

"Adrien?" Her voice brought him back. She was always bringing him back and he wasn't sure how, in his sea of misfortunes, he had gotten so lucky to have found her.

He turned his attention to her and immediately rushed forward. He gently surveyed her, ensuring she was uninjured. Her arm was fully healed, but he still smoothed his hand over the area to make sure for good measure.

"I'm glad you're okay," he sighed with relief and extended his hand, offering her the Miraculous that his father had misused. Ladybug accepted the jewels and placed them into her yo-yo. 

"I can only imagine the rest of the kwamis' reactions happening right now," Marinette said with a smile. He was glad she was able to smile in that moment, content about something despite the nightmarish last few hours.

"I'll take care of him." Ladybug nudged her head in the direction behind him. 

Adrien had his back to his father and, for the time being, that's how he wanted it to stay. He didn't want to see his father - both of his parents - with their retribution on full display.

"I'll call the authorities," Adrien said, acknowledging the division of tasks.

She kissed his cheek and gave him a tiny smile before her face fell completely and her attention turned towards his father. He heard her yo-yo extend outwards and could visualize what was happening behind him. He used his baton to call the police and explained the situation vaguely, knowing that his life, the Agreste family, and his reputation was about to turn to ash.

Adrien watched as his father was dragged away by the police officers. The quiet in his mind was unfamiliar but welcome. There was a sense of peace overcoming him as he watched his father be pulled away from his son not on his own volition, but by the force of others. Adrien’s father wasn’t leaving him, was he? He was being forced away.

Somehow that made him feel better, more at ease. Adrien wasn’t being left behind or rejected, his father wasn’t actively choosing to avoid and lose him. On the contrary, Adrien believed his father very badly didn’t want to leave him for the first time in years. It was a consolation that made it easier to watch.

When his father’s eyes met his, Adrien could see the dejection all over his face. They did not break eye contact until his father was forced to turn away and pulled out of the room.

Adrien thought of the many times his father refused to look up from his tablet, from his dinner plate, from his computer: and he felt vindicated.

Marinette’s POV 

Marinette watched Adrien carefully. He directed officers to the hidden basement, explained the situation, and returned to her side. He appeared to be the perfect hero, professional but demure about the captivity of a person. He didn't show much emotion, if any, but his eyes did seek hers out occasionally.

She was itching to leave. She felt like her duties as Ladybug were fulfilled for the evening - it was nearly time for sunrise. Due to the early hour there weren't any reporters yet. The mansion was being surveyed by only the authorities.

"Where is Adrien Agreste?" The officer asked her, the mention of her boyfriend’s name giving her his full attention.

"He wasn't involved. We removed him from the property before we confronted Shadow Moth," she explained. They had prepared their lie earlier.

"Very well, retrieve him immediately. We need to bring him into custody."

"What?" Ladybug snapped, her brow narrowing.

"If he chooses not to comply-"

"Adrien Agreste is innocent and no one is touching him, nor is he going into anyone's custody but mine. Ours." Ladybug crossed her arms over her chest in defiance.

"That's not exactly how this works, miss, um, Ladybug." The officer looked uncomfortable with the budding disagreement.

"If you need a statement take mine: Adrien Agreste was instrumental in taking down Shadow Moth, his own father, and without his intel we wouldn't have defeated Shadow Moth. He is under my protection indefinitely and is not to be questioned, followed, accused, nor sought after. We're done here!" Ladybug's patience finally expired.

"What's going on?" Chat Noir hurried over, hearing Ladybug's increase in volume. The officer looked scandalized.

"Nothing. It's time to go, we've done our part." Ladybug gripped Chat's shoulder and dragged him away, withdrawing her yoyo simultaneously. They were flying through the sky seconds later.

They didn't make it far before Ladybug stopped on a random vacant, flat rooftop. She held onto him, her hands digging into his waist and arm. They stared into one another's eyes before falling into a bone-crushing hug, holding one another up. The adrenaline was long gone and they were both hardly standing, still upright only for the other.

"Is it over?" Marinette asked, her voice shaky. Adrien nodded into her shoulder, unable to speak yet.

"I can't believe it's over!" Marinette let out a sob.

They didn't say anything for a long time, just held one another and clung to the fact that one of their fights was over.

Marinette’s parents were waiting outside on the roof balcony, still awake and holding mugs despite the early (late) hour. Sabine gasped and Adrien, with his extra Chat hearing, heard Tom say, "thank goodness!" when they spotted the duo heading towards home.

All four swept one another up into a group hug as soon as the young heroes landed. Adrien reciprocated but stayed silent, whereas Marinette repeated words of reassurance: 'we're ok, he was arrested, it's over'. They all shuffled inside rather quickly and the heroes detransformed. Marinette and Adrien were ushered to the living room and shoved onto the sofa, which was already made up as a bed covered in an excessive amount of blankets and pillows. They were all nursing warm cups of herbal tea. Tom and Sabine watched them, both teary eyed, as if in disbelief they were really there and okay. They had the television on for only a few minutes before realizing that the story hadn't broken yet - it was still too early. It was bound to be the first thing reported on the morning news broadcast, but for the time being it was still calm.

When, finally, Marinette's parents deemed both teens safe and secure, they retired to bed.

"Just us," Adrien said.

"Was that a pun?"

Adrien laughed. Adrien laughed. Finding humor in something so incredibly ridiculous after their disaster of a day... he laughed. His eyes started to water. Just us. Justice. His father was finally going to face justice. His tears of exhausted laughter turned into real tears. His father was gone. Despite clawing for approval, begging for change, and considering every avenue to make his father stay close to him and not leave him alone, he was gone. Probably for life.

"What do I do?" Adrien asked through his mixture of sobbing, laughing disbelief.

Marinette pulled him towards her so his head was resting on her shoulder, catching his tears. She laced his fingers between hers.

"You go to sleep." She kissed the top of his head.

"How?" 

"By reminding yourself I'm going to be right here whenever you wake up."

Adrien closed his eyes and instead of counting sheep he repeated melodically the most peaceful lullaby he could summon: She's not leaving me, she's not leaving me, she's not leaving me.

Chapter Text

Marinette struggled in the days following the attack. She was restless, with nightmare after nightmare. She latched onto Adrien and cried out when she would jolt awake suddenly. Her arm would shake, feeling phantom pain from the attack. She told him everything that happened, not leaving out any parts to spare him, and he was grateful for her honesty. He was lucky that he didn’t remember, and he realized that after every morning cuddle session where Marinette would stare into his eyes and say something about them being green and how much she loved the color.

Adrien was never so grateful for the adults in his life, including the Dupain-Chengs, his aunt, and Nino’s mother. Together they worked to get him representation that was fair, protect him from the press, and get his affairs settled and separated from his father. He was going to be emancipated, which would free up his trust fund and allow him access to his mother’s family assets, which were separate from the Agreste fortune.

Inevitably he was forced to speak with the police and gave an official statement. His lawyer, Mr. Dupain, and Ladybug were all beside him the entire time and he felt like he was in good hands. Luckily, the one interview was enough for the police. He had no doubt that Ladybug’s insistence of his innocence had something to do with the ease in which he was absolved of all accusations.

The Dupain-Chengs and Nino’s family split Adrien-custody until he had access to his money and could buy his own apartment. He loved living with both families, the houses full in their own way. He was either with Marinette or Nino, never really alone, and he liked it that way. It was a complete change from his usual lifestyle of solitude in his big room in the Mansion. He shared a room with Nino, and slept on the sofa at Marinette (on the days he didn’t ‘sneak’ up to her room).

After the initial dust settled it wasn't the knowledge that his father was Shadow Moth that was making his life difficult, however; it was the loss of his father. Adrien found himself listless. He woke up and didn't know what to do. He sat in silence, not knowing what to speak. His thoughts were mildly obsessive about his father and his schedule. He paced for hours. When he got overwhelmed by the loss of everything he panicked.

Marinette tried to understand but there was something about it that didn't click.

At first she believed he was panicking about the state of upheaval his life was in: no home, no job, no money, no life. Everyone wanted a comment from him and his phone was virtually unusable due to the amount of notifications he was constantly receiving.

It wasn't until he lost it during one of his pacing sessions that Marinette realized the true cause of his distress.

"Do you think he'll go to jail? Do you think he hates me? Do you think he'll forgive me? I don't know what to do anymore, Marinette. He... my whole life is what he wanted. What do I do? I don't know how to live without him."

Adrien looked like a scared child. Abandoned.

Everyone agreed that Adrien was in need of a psychiatrist, which both irked him and made him feel taken care of. He wasn’t crazy, but he had been through a lot. He probably would have opted to see someone on his own if it hadn’t been (sorta) forced upon him by his temporary guardians. While Marinette was amazing and his absolute rock throughout everything, it was unfair to count on her for so much emotional support. She had her own life and needs, and he couldn’t impress his on her. That was also why he was split between the Dupain-Chengs and the Lahiffe homes.

He was a lot, he knew. His father had always told him, hadn’t he? Dramatic Adrien. Needy Adrien.

With the continued reassurance from Marinette, her parents, Nino, and his family, he tried to not dwell on how much of a burden he was. They told him often that they were happy to help. He also considered that, if the roles were reversed, he would be the first to offer help to his friends and wouldn’t think of them as a burden. Still, he was both dreading and looking forward to the day that he was emancipated and could find his own apartment and stop invading other people’s spaces. He was scared to be alone. He was nervous about having to make his own choices. It was foreign territory for him. What if he messed up?

His own worries about life and being self-sufficient were exactly why he was never alone. He often fell into thought spirals where he would end up crying or panicking, wondering why this happened to him. Why was he alone? What did he do to deserve this? Why would his father choose to do something that would destroy their family? Why wasn’t he good enough? Why, why, why….

Nino had been witness to more than a few mental breakdowns and dissociation spells. Once, he said Adrien hadn’t responded for more than five minutes , despite being shaken and spoken to. That must have terrified Nino, and Adrien felt immense guilt for scaring his friend in such a way. Just another way you’re making everyone’s lives difficult…

Adrien interrupted the thoughts like that on a daily basis.

And so, with the help of his friends, he found a doctor and it became the first, consistent milestone of his new life and new schedule: completely controlled by him.

"Since it is our first session I would like to get to know you more, as you see yourself."

Adrien twitched. How he saw himself?

"You may sit whenever you feel comfortable, Adrien."

He paced, ignoring the doctor's offer for him to sit. He didn't want to sit, he felt like he was going to explode. He wanted to let it out. How did he see himself?

"I'm Chat Noir."

The weight of the words filled the room and Adrien couldn't fault the doctor for being unable to hide his shock. 

Adrien laughed dryly, sounding somewhat hysterical, and realized he had never actually said those words in that order aloud before. He had shown Marinette, rather than tell. His reveal to his father had been a disaster.

"I see," the doctor said slowly, looking down at his notebook and then back up at Adrien.

"That's who I am, deep down. I'm not Adrien, not completely. I'm a hero who killed my father, only for Ladybug to bring him back, just to lock him up. I fought with my father for four years not even knowing because I was so blind. I begged him to talk to me. Of course he was Hawk Moth and Shadow Moth and akumatized people. I wondered what was so busy he couldn't even have dinner with me. Ruining peoples' lives! That's what it was. Of course it was!"

Adrien paced and ran his hands through his hair.

"Okay. I can see why you're upset."

"Of course you can!" Adrien snapped, irritated not at the doctor but at everything. "Everyone can see everything about my entire life. My father made sure to keep the biographies updated weekly, a new article about my favorite color if he decided it would change that season. I'm here for your viewing pleasure. A model, a billboard, a schedule that everyone online can find within minutes. My life is a joke: a big production for everyone to view, judge, and comment on."

Adrien fisted his hands and paced more, harder, stomping now.

"I lost my mother, my father, my job that I hated, my reputation. Everyone thinks I helped my father! Of course they do! Why shouldn't they?" He threw his hands up in exasperation. "But I didn't because I'm Chat Noir. I didn't help him. Instead, I betrayed my own father and lost the only parent I had left."

Adrien finally threw himself onto the proffered sofa and leaned heavily against the back of it. He was exhausted. He wanted to give up and crawl into a hole and hide.

"I'm very sorry this is happening to you," the therapist said finally after Adrien stopped talking for long enough.

"Me too." Adrien swallowed heavily. 

"Does anyone else know your position in everything that is happening?"

"Ladybug," he admitted. "She made me come here. She loves me."

The therapist smiled to himself momentarily before assuming a more neutral, professional posture again.

"Do you see yourself as Chat Noir or Adrien?"

Adrien stared at the ceiling for a long while before responding. 

"Both."

"If you wouldn't mind, please walk me through a day in the life of Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir."

"It's different since my father was arrested."

"Do you want to talk about the past or the present?" The doctor asked patiently.

Adrien considered this for a few moments.

"Right now, the present."

So he spoke. Candid, honestly, and unloaded on this poor unsuspecting therapist who he found from a web search that accepted patients with low incomes.

"I'm sorry," Adrien abruptly interrupted his own monologue about his daily life. "I'm sorry I'm here, putting all of this on you, making you listen to me. You probably have hundreds of other patients and you didn't need me, of all things, to overload you. I probably need my own psychiatric hospital at this point. You didn't sign up to be the psychiatrist for a hero of Paris, the son of a terrorist. I can leave if you'd like that. I'm so stupid. This was so stupid!" 

Adrien’s breathing increased, his eyes going wide when he realized how awful he was being to this poor, unsuspecting doctor. He placed his elbows on his knees and gripped his hair, distressed. What the hell was wrong with him? Why was this his life? 

"Adrien, please take deep breaths with me. Can you follow along?" The doctor said calmly. 

Adrien nodded and followed as instructed. It took a few minutes before he was able to focus again and realized that he had a meltdown. How humiliating. He was behaving exactly as pathetic as his father always said he was. His cheeks flushed.

"What are you thinking right now?" The doctor asked.

Adrien relayed to him his thoughts, honestly. He was pathetic. His father knew it. He was so sorry for making people suffer. Ladybug told him to be honest.

"While I can admit this was unexpected, it is not unwelcome. I will be here to help you as long as you decide you would like to visit." The doctor said nicely, patiently, and Adrien accepted it with a grain of salt. 

The doctor had a job, he was just being professional. Adrien wondered where, in this context, the job ended and the honesty started. How could this random doctor care?

"Why?" Adrien asked bluntly.

"I told my receptionist I was accepting new patients, who am I to pick and choose who walks in?" The doctor chuckled and Adrien gave him a baffled look.

"Therapy humor, excuse me..." the doctor cleared his throat. "I want to help people, simple as that. I imagine I could ask you a similar question. You help every time there was a new akuma to be fought. Why?"

Adrien looked up at the doctor and surveyed the man for the first time since entering the office. He was middle-aged, had long hair tied at the nape of his neck, and was clean-shaven. Wisps of gray poked out from his brown hair but it suited him well, Adrien thought. He wasn't particularly striking, but he had kind eyes. He wore a multicolored tie that clashed horribly with his plain, navy blue slacks, and Adrien quite liked that. His father would have disliked this man's appearance, which was satisfying to admit.

"Additionally," the doctor continued, "I believe after providing your services to so many people in Paris you are due for some support. I would be honored to help you navigate through this transitional time of your life."

Maybe he could trust this man. Maybe the doctor did care, even if he was getting paid for it. Adrien cared about akuma victims, and he didn't know why other than he just did.

"I liked your joke," he offered. The doctor smiled.

The more Adrien went to therapy, the more he learned about himself. It was bizarre, when the doctor would show him articles and journals about his exact reactions and behavior. Adrien was, in many circumstances, a textbook case of… abuse.

The word wasn’t exactly surprising to Adrien but he didn’t like it. He didn’t like to hear it and he asked the doctor not to use it if he didn’t have to. Instead, they used terms like, ‘what you’ve been through’, or, ‘things you’ve experienced’. Although Adrien could admit that his feelings and behaviors did mimic those of victims of abuse, he didn’t verbalize that as what he was.

He was an individual with feelings and reactions and they were normal and expected, and that was how he liked to frame it in his mind.

His father was also a textbook case of an abuser. That, Adrien found, was much easier to accept and hear. He found it fascinating that the controlling behaviors his father exhibited were exactly the same as other abusers. How could his experiences that he found so unique and consuming be so common? Adrien was blown away by every new term he learned: he never knew how powerful it could be to simply put a word to an experience. It was both validating and soul-crushing. He felt both ignorant and enlightened.

Blame shifting, circular conversations, denial, idealization, cognitive dissonance, devaluation, future faking, scapegoating, isolation, masking, raging, stockholm syndrome, trauma bonding.

Every word elicited a memory and a feeling from Adrien. He had heard some of the words before but never in the context of abuse. Many therapy sessions made him cry. He felt guilty and stupid. He felt betrayed. He felt forgiving. He wondered how these things are so common and yet he hadn’t known any of it.

Sometimes, he would feel disinterested. He didn’t care that his father had done all of those things, followed some kind of pattern that was written in a book: it didn’t matter because it was his father. No matter what, he needed his father. Didn’t he? He loved and missed his father, despite everything.

His mood shifted often, along with his feelings on the matters, which ended up being the primary reason for his short-term prescription from the doctor. It was a mood regulator which would, in theory, stop him from falling into spirals of anxiety. Too many thoughts meant too many feelings which meant too many hours spent ruminating on what ifs and how-to-fixes. He could fall into obsessions with his thoughts, which could lead to dissociating when he remembered too vividly his experiences.

The medicine did help, and it was a real turning point in his therapy and for his relationships. Marinette noted that he seemed calmer. Nino said that he was less worried about upsetting him and said he didn’t apologize as much as he used to (which, apparently, was excessive). Adrien felt freer.

The more time he spent away from his father and his past, the more Adrien relaxed. A cocktail of therapy, time, and medication was giving him a renewed outlook on his life and the life he led in the past. He didn’t wonder if the food Sabine served to him would be threatened away. He didn’t think that when Marinette told him she was too busy to hang out that she was actively avoiding him. His heart didn’t race if he was ten minutes late to a meetup. He didn’t pick up the phone and wonder if he was going to be ordered into a room by himself for days.

Adrien felt like a weight was lifted, but that didn’t dissuade the guilt. He was supposed to love his father, not see him as a burden. It hurt him to know that his father was alone, in prison; a fractured man with a broken heart. Adrien knew what it meant to be lonely and he didn’t wish that upon anyone, not even the man who caused it for him. He brought up wanting to make amends, wishing for another chance, wondering if it was possible for his broken family to ever repair some of those cracks.

The doctor told him to manage expectations, because it was rare that abusers truly changed without significant therapy. But he also said something that resonated with Adrien. The doctor said it as a warning, to try to temper Adrien's optimism.

Hope is the last to die .

Adrien coveted the phrase, because a life without hope seemed not worth living at all. Maybe one day his father would change. Eventually.

“We are going to take mother off life support.”

The silence between them was heavy. His father’s brows narrowed.

“No.”

“We talked to doctors, monks, and even the guardians in Tibet. There is nothing that can cure her.”

“ You can cure her!” His father snapped, his hands banging on the table in front of him, palms flat.

“We can’t,” Adrien said sadly. Whether his father would believe him or not, it didn’t matter. The facts were facts.

Just like his doctor said, what he had been repeating to himself: his father wouldn’t change, his father wouldn’t understand. Manage expectations. Adrien exhaled slowly.

“You are too cowardly to do it. You don’t love her enough!” His father was seething, his voice fluctuating between loud and hissing.

“I’m here to tell you myself. You have the right to be there when it happens. Do you want to be there? Arrangements will be made. She’s in a hospital and you can be escorted there.” Adrien’s voice sounded choppy to his own ears. He felt sick having to discuss his mother’s death. The death he was going to, inevitably, need to sign off on.

Everyone told him it wasn’t his fault, and maybe it wasn’t, but that didn’t make it any easier having to be the person deciding when his mother’s life was going to end. Impossible decision or not, he felt guilty.

Gabriel’s glare reflected that he blamed Adrien, too.

The longer Adrien stayed silent, Gabriel’s resolve began to crack.

“Adrien you cannot do this to her,” Gabriel said quietly, eyes boring into his sons. He hadn’t paid this much attention to him ever, Adrien thought to himself.

“She doesn’t deserve to be stuck in the state she is now, on the brink of death. What would you have me do? Keep her alive until you die of old age, so that you can die within minutes of one another? You have already played out your own twisted, sick, version of love. I can’t keep doing this to her. She’s never going to wake up.”

“You can make the wish and she will ,” his father pleaded - pleaded. Adrien thought of the times he pleaded for his father’s love and attention and affection. He felt no pleasure in seeing his father beg. This wasn’t justice or a reckoning; it was sad and tragic.

“I can’t make someone else take her place,” Adrien said desperately. Why couldn’t his father see reason? Why was he like this?

His father was stuck in a prison cell, alone, and powerless. He knew this conversion would break his father and that is why he chose to be the bearer of the news. Despite his anger and hurt, he loved his father. He knew his father was a prideful man and he knew that to allow a stranger to see a desperate side of him would be an extra stab alongside the news.

“I wanted to be the one to tell you, in person. I’m sorry, father.”

“Why are you doing this, Adrien? You can’t do this!” His father stood up from the table and yelled, his eyes wide. He looked devastated .

“I’m sorry,” Adrien said, again, meaning it with every fiber in him but unable to handle the swell of emotions taking over him. “Tell your attorney what you decide. I’ll come visit you again. I’ll keep visiting.”

“DON’T!” Gabriel yelled, his fists clenched. He hit the tabletop and it echoed. Adrien didn’t react. He walked to the door to exit.

“Adrien don’t do this!” His father’s voice cracked and Adrien let the door shut behind him.

As soon as he was in the hallway he fell against the wall and sucked in deep breaths. Panic overtook him and he leaned forward, hands in his knees, steadily inhaling in a way that he was now accustomed to after many, many panic attacks.

“Adrien, I’m right here,” Marinette’s voice said from beside him and he nodded, acknowledging her words. “Take your time.”

He did. He breathed and swallowed and envisioned a calm scene, and considered the things he could pick up from his senses in the present. He managed to cling to Marinette’s hand once he was calm enough for more sensations and she held strong.

“He was crying,” Adrien said, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears. “I’ve never seen him cry. Not even when he told me she died the first time. She wasn’t dead, now I know, but… but I’ve never seen him cry. I broke him.”

Adrien finally stood up and pulled Marinette into a tight hug, more grateful than ever that she had convinced him that she should come along for support. At first he intended to visit his father alone, believing he needed to do it to be strong and prove to himself he was healing. But he should have known that they were always stronger together, and this situation was no exception.

“He blames me. He’s going to blame me for the rest of our lives,” Adrien said in a small voice. That had to be the worst part. He still had his father, but his father wanted nothing to do with him. He would hate him forever, and Adrien would never truly understand why. 

Sometimes there is no answer, that is one of the most difficult truths to accept. The doctor told him he needed to stop asking why. Asking why would be the death of him. 'Why' was a fool’s question. There was no way to get a logical answer from an illogical, sick person. His father was sick and he needed to manage expectations.

“You did amazing, Adrien,” Marinette said to him, her voice filling him with comfort.

“I want to go home,” Adrien said quietly, pathetically, and Marinette led him out.

Some days it felt like he was falling back into the pit he had crawled out of, and this one one of those days.

In the end his father opted to be at the hospital when his mother passed. He ignored Adrien completely, not sparing him a glance, let alone a word. His presence was almost illusory. Adrien, his father, Nathalie, and Marinette were the few spectators along with a security guard and doctor. It happened quickly, almost too quickly. But Adrien’s world didn’t shatter. Instead, time moved forward. One minute passed. Then five. Then twenty. And an hour later he and Marinette were already out of the hospital and heading home.

When they arrived at the bakery everything was exactly as it has always been. He didn’t feel a significant loss, and that made him feel confused. He ended up in Marinette’s bedroom, alone, on the phone with his psychiatrist. He’d known what was occurring today and offered Adrien his number and said he was happy to take a call.

“I lost my mother five years ago. I don’t feel any different today. Nothing’s changed. Is that messed up?”

“I think whatever you’re feeling is valid, especially given the circumstances. You grieved for your mother years ago. You were given a small reprieve of hope but that doesn’t erase the years of grieving you’ve already experienced.”

“Shouldn’t I be sad? I’m not sad.”

“How do you feel?”

“Relieved,” Adrien admitted, flushing when the word came out. He shouldn’t be relieved his mother was dead. What kind of son was he?

“Why do you feel that way?”

“Because it’s over. Now I can stop trying to complete an impossible task. My father can start to move on, too. Maybe he can change now. Maybe he’ll see he still has family left…” Maybe he’ll start to see me .

The doctor didn’t say anything and allowed Adrien time to feel his feelings and consider what he said.

“Is that pathetic?” Adrien asked. 

“No, but I think you need to remember to manage your expectations of your father.”

“I’m really going to miss her,” Adrien said, his voice thick with emotion. He felt the tears welling up in his eyes. After months of sessions with the doctor, he was used to seeing Adrien cry. There was no shame in showing emotion, Adrien learned.

“From everything you’ve told me it sounds like she will live in your heart forever, Adrien.”

Adrien choked on a small sob at that, feeling his heart swell. He hoped that was true.

Chapter Text

Adrien stared at the tiled floor of his bedroom in his childhood home. He was sitting on his bed, elbows on his knees, head bowed.

He had so many memories of attempts to fix his broken family. Too many to fully remember them all. Five years of trying. Five years of failing. Five years of hoping. One step forward and two steps back. He gained nothing in those years.

He pictured Marinette's face and voice. He was so lucky to have her. And how? If he listened to his father he would still be single and stuck in his gilded cage. He connected with Marinette when he left as Chat Noir: when he was free. Without defying his father he never would have ended up with the most amazing person he'd ever met. He was lucky, and none of that luck could be attributed to his father in any way.

There were two worlds that Adrien had been living in. Adrien yearned for the father he grew up with. He lived in the past. But his father was no longer that same man. 

The framed photograph of him, his father, and his mother mocked him, teased him, and gave him hope. It displayed the past that he desperately wanted to be the present and future. It embodied the reason he was stuck, yearning for yesterday.

Adrien stood up and turned the photograph face down sadly.

No. It wasn't real. Not anymore.

What was real was Marinette's smile and laughter while her mother told a joke. The small, reassuring touches between Sabine and Tom: those were real. The reassuring hug that Tom gave him after listening to his fears of University and picking the right path for his future... that was real. The shared meals, television programs, movies, outings, dates, kisses, hugs, gifts, and spared time: those were proof and real and actions. The past few months away from his father and surrounded by friends showed him what action looked like; beyond empty words, beyond empty promises, beyond empty dining rooms.

Adrien no longer felt yearning nor envy for attention and love. He had it. He had it from Marinette and her family, from his friends, and from Plagg.

Yes, Adrien would always love his father. But he was done begging for that love to be reciprocated. He would make his space to love his father, but no longer let it overtake his entire life. It was Adrien's turn to love from afar. It was his turn to shut the door on empty hope and instead embrace the fortunate, kind, and loving relationships he had built that were real and attainable.

He picked up his duffle bag packed with his few remaining possessions from the place he once called home, patted Plagg on the head, and walked out of his childhood bedroom.

The picture frame holding the image of his once happy life stayed behind and face down.

"Mon Chaton, what are you doing over there?" Ladybug walked up beside him and nudged him with her hip. He was standing on a random rooftop overlooking the northern part of the city. The Seine was behind him and the city still looked like it would go on forever. 

"I'm trying to figure out which area has the best view of the city. We don't want to be too far from the tower, but not so close that we can't get a full view of it."

"I'm thinking over there." He pointed northeast and Ladybug withdrew her yoyo.

"First one with the best view wins. Send pictures through our communicators."

"And what do we win, m'lady?"

"Final choice of which apartment we move into."

Adrien smirked and agreed. They fist bumped and both jumped from the Eiffel Tower.

Honestly, Adrien didn't care one bit where they lived, as long as it was together. He was ready to spend his life - whatever life he chose - with Marinette, and the uncertainty of it all was exactly what he was looking most forward to.

At times, Adrien wondered how he got to this point.

Marinette was everything he ever wanted and more.

He was able to do and be whatever he wanted.

He could eat as much or little as he wanted.

He learned to voice his opinion without worrying if someone would leave him.

He was confident about his choices.

He wasn’t afraid to show his feelings.

He was free.

The End