Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first time it happened was in the middle of the night.

To Basil, it was quite the shock. He was just finally managing to drift off to sleep when he heard the thump of something landing nearby, followed by the faint sound of groaning. He waited for a moment, listening, before scurrying out of bed, a little bit fearful. Was someone trying to break in?

He peered out the window, reluctantly at first, before his gaze settled on nothing out of the ordinary. The fence of the backyard was left uninfiltrated, and the garden undisturbed. Or, that’s what he thought. He prayed to himself he was right.

Just as he was about to walk back to bed, feeling his eyes droop with exhaustion, did he see someone bounce up to meet his eyes on the other side.

“A–AAH!” he squeaked, tumbling backwards onto the wooden floor with a soft thump.

The muffled voice of Kel breached his room from beyond the glass, showing off a grin full of missing teeth. “Hi Basil!” he could hear him say. “What’s up?”

Basil regulated his breathing as he dusted himself off, standing up onto wobbly feet. He was relieved to see that it was just his friend, but he was still confused as to what he was doing here. He glanced behind him at the door. His grandma had to be asleep by now–she was a heavy sleeper, just like him. Once she was out, she wouldn’t wake up to many things. So carefully, he eased the glass open, letting in the warm summer breeze.

“Kel,” he hissed, frowning at the boy who stood before him. “What are you doing here? It’s almost 11:00 PM!”

“I was bored!” He said cheerily. “I figured I’d pay you a visit! Uh, I guess I got lucky you’re actually awake…”

Basil sighed.  Sometimes he wondered how he’d ever understand Kel. “What do you want from me?” he whined, as if he was being threatened by an evil villain.

“Well…um…” Kel bit his lip. “I’m…not actually sure? Do you think you could come outside though…?”

Basil frowned even deeper. He was dressed in his pajamas and ready to sleep, but…this was Kel, coming to his house for some reason only a little more than an hour before midnight. This might not even happen again, why not indulge a little?

So rather than respond, he slid out the window cautiously, landing softly onto the soil on bare feet. He realized Kel was in his pajamas, too. I guess we’re in the same boat.

“Sooo…Basil! How are you this lovely evening?” Kel asked, acting overly formal. It made Basil giggle a little despite his grumpiness.

“Well, er…sir Kel, I’m–”

He fell silent at the sight of his grandma’s room’s light clicking on, just visible from beyond the blinds. Oh no… He thought, freezing up a little bit, sensing Kel go tense beside him. She couldn’t have heard…right? She never checks up on me in the middle of the night. I can save this.

“Kel!” Basil whispered, grabbing ahold of his wrist, “come with me!”

He guided Kel along the ground to the end of the fence, the back lined with trees full of ripening fruit and bushes cluttered with flowers. He gestured behind one–a bush full of roses. There was just enough space to duck behind, and right behind it–

“Can we get through that?” Kel blurted, a little too loud for Basil’s comfort.

“Of course we can! It’s not as small as it looks–come on.”

Basil dodged past the thorny rose bush, ducking below the hole in the fence and scraping dirt off his legs when he stood up once more. Kel followed right behind–unharmed to his relief.

“Wow! I didn’t know there was a giant hole in your fence, Basil! It’s well hidden! If only I had known, then I wouldn’t have spent forever trying to jump over it…”

Basil smiled, amused and flattered by Kel’s dedication. But also a little bit curious. He wondered how simple boredom would yield such persistence.

Kel didn’t seem to be aware of Basil’s deep thinking, looking around the woods beyond the fence in wonder.

Basil snapped out of it soon enough, grasping Kel’s wrist again. “Come on! I know a good place to rest a little.”

Kel seemed to find this idea appealing, letting the blonde haired boy guide him once more.

They found themselves in a small clearing, only a little bit beyond the house. It was decorated sparsely, the grass growing long and little to no flowers breaching the surface. But under a single, odd birch tree sat a small metal bench, old and rusty. A single vine was climbing up the side.

“Hey, this is sick!” Kel cheered, thrusting a fist in the air as he darted over to the bench, plopping down on the seat closest to the tree. “How did you find this place, Basil?!”

Basil glided over to where his friend was slowly, taking his time to come to a stop in front of him as he spoke. “I found that hole when we first moved here two years ago…and, um. After a little bit of exploring I was here.” He felt a little bashful, itching his neck. For some reason, this was a little embarrassing. He had never shared this place with anyone before. He’d considered showing Aubrey when she first befriended him, but something in him stopped him. He didn’t know what was driving him to be so open about this place with Kel–to him, there wasn’t anything special. He was just a good friend of his. He would have thought that, if anyone, he would have shown this place to Sunny first. After all, Sunny was the closest friend he had ever had. Sunny was special to him.

But still. He found it strange, how rather than hiding somewhere else with Kel like he would with anyone else, he took him to the one place that he had never shared with a single other soul.

“Basilll,” Kel complained, scowling. “Why aren’t you sitting down with me? ‘Cmere, buddy!”

Basil suddenly found Kel’s callused hand grasping his, dragging him over to the seat next to him like a siren trying to drown a listening adventurer. He gave in, letting Kel force him next to him. He had wanted to join Kel anyways, but found anxiety stopping him, making him question if Kel even wanted him so close. But of course, ever touchy Kel was delighted to finally have the blonde beside him. He gave him a quick side hug before tapping his fingers on the thighs of his swinging legs. “Ahh…it’s so nice here! The wind is just right…”

Basil nodded, smiling meekly. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a stretch of time that Basil couldn’t really keep track of, passing the time listening to the trees. At some point Kel started whistling, something that Basil didn’t hear much due to Aubrey shutting him up, annoyed by the noise. He listened to the slightly off tune of a Sweetheart song, shocked but amused to hear something of the sort escaping Kel’s lips.

But as he got to more pondering the events that had interrupted his night, he became more suspicious of the whistling boy he found himself with. There was something a little off about this.

“Kel?” he shyly started, glancing at him.

Kel stopped his whistling, looking at Basil questioningly. “Huh?”

Basil hesitated, before continuing. “Why are you really here, Kel?”

Kel was silent, his expression forming into a gloomy frown. “Uh…I…didn’t have the best day today.”

Basil blinked, surprised that he was answered, for whatever reason. “Um…what happened? U–uh, i–if you don’t mind me asking…of course…”

Kel shook his head. “I guess it shouldn’t be much, but…” He sighed. “My parents got really mad at me today.”

Basil opened his mouth to ask about what it was they were mad about, but Kel beat him, answering the question before it was uttered.

“They found out Mari’s been helping me with my summer school this year. They…weren’t too happy about it. Especially my mom. She yelled at me, telling me that if I couldn’t do the work myself, then I’d amount to nothing…that I’d be nothing like my brother…” He sniffed, tears budding in his eyes. “A–and Hero was there, watching all this. And he didn’t do anything about it! I thought…I thought Hero was supposed to protect me, but…but he was quiet…maybe…maybe Hero thinks I’m gonna amount to nothing t–too…” Kel whipped his face. “He…he apologized after…a–and he said that I didn’t need to listen to my mom and that help isn’t ever a bad thing…b–but…why didn’t he try and tell them that…?!”

Basil listened patiently, feeling upset for Kel too. He felt mad at his mom for saying those things–but…

“Kel,” Basil said patently. “I think Hero’s scared of your parents…”

Kel looked confused. “H…huh? W–what do you mean?”

Basil fiddled with his hands nervously. “Um…parents…can be really scary…a–and Hero…um…I think he feels that way about you guy’s parents. I–I’m sure he loves them, I’m not trying to say that! I’m sure he loves them as much as you do but…i–it's hard to stand up to adults, sometimes…e–even though he's fourteen, it’s still scary…you know?”

Kel seemed to consider that, before he sighed in agreement. “I…I guess you’re right. But…I–I wish…” He scowled. “I wish…my parents would stop comparing me to him. I–I already…I already know I’ll be nothing like Hero! I already know I’m not good enough to be like Hero! So…so why do they always have to rub it in…?!” Tears trickled down his face like a river. It was like a thorn in Basil’s heart to watch him bury his face in his hands out of agony that was alien for him. “Sometimes…I wonder…if they love him more than me…sometimes I wonder…if they love me at all…”

Basil was shocked. He had never seen this side of Kel–not at all. Sunny and him had always shared their ugliest sides, and Aubrey always vented to him about her home life–what was a mystery to everyone else was never a secret to him. All of the younger kids knew Basil would keep a secret forever–they knew he would take it to his grave if he had to. They knew that, but Kel had never told him anything like this at all. What was custom to be pettier secrets like a prank or something embarrassing about Aubrey he knew, was now something new. Something personal.

And it fell close to home for Basil. He didn’t pity Kel–he knew exactly how he felt. And it was painful.

“Y–you know…I’ve always felt that way, too…” Basil said. “I…was told I was an accident. My parents…they didn’t mean to have me. My mother said it herself, in a letter she sent to me after I kept trying to reach out to them when I was seven. My grandma…she told me not to look at it. She told me that I shouldn’t see it. She told me…she told me my parents loved me just as much as they loved my brother, that they just couldn’t find it in their schedules to manage me along with him. But I saw, and…I–I knew. I…didn’t understand every word in that letter, but…I could read enough to see that my brother was the one they meant to have…and I was the mistake. And…that's why they never came to see me. I don’t even remember what they look like…” Basil felt himself beginning to tear up, but he forced it down, turning to look at a stunned Kel. “So…u–um…what I’m trying to say is…I…know how that feels. T–to think your parents hate you. And…that your brother is better than you.”

Kel didn’t say a word. He just wrapped his arms around Basil, squishing him tight. It scared Basil, but he melted into it eventually, hearing hiccups and sobs escape Kel. He closed his eyes, and began to cry too.

The next day, after Kel had gone home and Basil had fallen asleep safely in his own bed, Basil wondered if it had all been a dream. The whole event was far too surreal to actually have happened–the thing about him and Kel was that they weren’t particularly close. Basil was close friends with Sunny–that was obvious, and Aubrey was like a little sister to him. Mari and him bonded often over flowers and cute things that they both often had a common interest in, and he and Hero often connected over being similar in personality and trying to keep Aubrey and Kel’s fighting to a minimum. But he and Kel? They had their fun moments together, of course. And they had a few classes together last year, but they never hung out alone, not once. Not to mention that he had shared with Kel something he had never told anyone about. It just made no sense. It had to have been a dream.

It was when he was finally convinced that Kel proved otherwise.

“Basilll!” Kel called to him as he sat with his legs in the cool lake at the secret hangout spot. The call startled him–he was all alone down here, simply cooling down and enjoying the fresh air. He almost dropped his book in the water.

Turning to look at Kel, he smiled, confused but happy to see him. “Hi, Kel. W–what are you doing here, exactly…?”

“I got here early! Everyone went over to your house to see if you were free, but your grandma said you were at the hangout spot! I got here earlier than everyone else!” He looked proud about that.

“Oh, I see…” Basil was happy to hear that, he was getting a little bored.

“Um…Basil? I actually wanted to ask you something…” Kel looked a little bit nervous, which surprised Basil.

“Go ahead,” Basil said.

“Um…do you think…that I could come to the clearing again sometime? With you?”

Basil was shocked, not because of the request but because it meant that his “dream” was actually quite real. “O–of course…but…how would I even know to come there with you…?”

“I’ll just sneak into your backyard again!” Kel grinned. “And…uh…get your attention somehow…?”

Basil thought for a moment. “How about…you knock five times in a row on my window. So I know it's you. See? Like this,” he said, showing him by knocking slowly and evenly on his book. Kel nodded, grinning brightly.

“Sick! Like a secret handshake!”

Basil smiled wobbly. “Y–yeah, I guess it is like a secret handshake…”

“Then it's a–!” Kel was interrupted by a sudden force, scaring him by slapping two hands on his shoulders and jumping. He yelped, stumbling a little. Basil was worried he and his attacker would fall into the pool, but they remained standing.

Kel scowled at the girl behind him. “Aubrey! NOT FUNNY!”

Aubrey cackled. “You scream like a little baby!”

“I DO NOT!”

“You do too!”

Their bickering filled the hangout spot with noise, and as Hero caught up, he tried to calm them down, Sunny looking a little bewildered at the sight and Mari laughing in the background, but Basil was distracted by the strange new excitement that Kel would come again to the clearing.

“So…who do you think put this bench here, Basil?”

Basil hummed, shuffling the deck of cards he had brought for another round of James Bond. “I don’t know, if I’m being honest. It looks like this place has been long forgotten though. I’ve never seen any other changes to it since I started coming here. The bench even has an imprint–it’s from 1887.”

“Wow! So…it must have been here for almost a hundred years! That's awesome! Can you show me where it is, Basil?”

“I…um…sure.” Basil put aside the deck of cards, standing up from the bench. He ducked down behind it, pointing at an indented “1887.” It looked like it had been done by hand, probably by the original owner. It was done deep–it was still clear even now, only a little bit faded.

“Woah…that’s so cool!” Kel said, before looking away, spotting something else. “BASIL! Look!”

Basil was confused at first, but then his jaw dropped open when he saw it. In the same shaky, engraved style as the 1887, read “C + S,” surrounded by a heart. It was cheesy, but in the context, it was amazing.

Kel looked at the flower boy. “Do you think that these C and S people used to come here when this was put here?!”

Basil nodded eagerly. In all the time he had sat to read at this bench alone, he had never even seen that part of it. He wondered how he had missed it, but he couldn’t find it in him to care when this was so exciting. The eleven and twelve year old started spouting out theories as to what the names of the mystery lovers could be.

“Casey and Spencer?” Basil suggested after who knows how long of guesses.

“Hm…Captain Spaceboy and Sweetheart!” Kel said, grinning wide. Basil swatted at him, making him laugh.

“Those people aren’t real, Kel! This is serious theorizing here!”

“Hey! Since when are you serious about some name guessing?” Kel raised a brow.

“I’m invested in this!”

Kel huffed. “Fine then. Your guess again.”

“Hm…how about…Cris and Sunny…” Basil smiled devilishly.

“HEY! Why do you get to joke around about this and not me?!” Kel whined, punching Basil’s shoulder.

“Ow! Hey!” Basil frowned.

“Oops, sorry Basil…” Kel looked like he felt bad.

“It’s okay…” Basil shivered. “It’s getting colder…”

“Oh, right…I forgot it’s winter,” Kel said, fiddling with his scarf. “Maybe…we should go home.”

Neither of them agreed or even budged. In silent agreement, they crawled back onto the bench, trying to stay warmer.

“Hey, Basil! Scoot closer!” Kel insisted. Basil had always tried to keep space between them, ever since that first night here all those months ago. But Kel had insisted, so he scooted closer timidly. Kel wrapped an arm around him, grinning. “There we go, now we’ll stay nice and warm!”

Basil chuckled nervously, feeling his cheeks glaze with a soft layer of heat. Kel smelled of sweat, which was gross, but he got over it quickly. He let himself grow less tense, sinking in to the sort of hug Kel was giving him.

Kel grimaced, sticking his tongue out. “Now I feel gross! We’re sitting on a bench that two people probably made out while sitting on!”

“Kel…what did you expect? This is literally called a love bench…”

“What?!” Kel yelped. He looked like his world had been turned upside down. “EWWWW!!!”

Basil laughed, his breath visible as it puffed out of him. Of course Kel would react like that. Kel jabbed him in the stomach, shutting him up, and they sat there for a while longer, talking about romance as they snuggled up close in the cold. Even though it was freezing, Basil felt warmer than ever with his friend.

They never told any of their friends about their secret meetings in the middle of the night at the clearing, but they kept it a habit for an entire year. Sometimes it was because Kel wanted to hang out, sometimes it was because one of them was having a bad day. Either way, Basil felt all of a sudden like him and Kel were far closer than he ever thought they would be. It rivaled him and Sunny’s closeness. It made Basil happy, but it was almost a little scary. The rest of the group seemed a little suspicious of the whisperings they got into sometimes, but nonetheless never asked.

It was summer again. Under a clear, moonlit sky, Basil knitted flowers into a woven bracelet like his Grandma had taught as Kel looked at the stars, kicking his legs at the sky. He was humming the duet that Mari and Sunny would play together, swaying a little as he did.

“The recital’s tomorrow, right?” Kel asked, looking over at Basil. 

Basil nodded, smiling. “Yeah! I can’t wait…Sunny and Mari have been practicing so hard together, I’m sure they’re going to be amazing.”

Kel nodded in agreement. “I’m supposed to get my hair trimmed that day, too!” He grinned at Basil. “I’ll be nice and spiffy for their performance, hehehe…”

Basil laughed. That was a rare sight for Kel. “That’ll be quite the feat for you.”

“What’s your plan for tomorrow, Basil?” Kel asked, looking at Basil again.

“I think I’ll go to Mari and Sunny’s early. I know Sunny’s been really nervous about all of this, I wanna make sure he’ll be alright.”

“Oooh, good luck with that,” Kel says. “Sunny can freeze up pretty quickly when he’s scared.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he calms down,” Basil said, smiling confidently. “Everything’ll be okay.”

Kel smiled at him, teeth showing.

The next night, when Kel knocked on the glass, desperate for an answer, Basil never got out of bed.

Chapter Text

Kel was never good at small talk. 

He was very sociable, but just talking about the weather or something as stupid as that? He was never good at that. But recently, he was getting good at it. Really good at it.

He didn’t really know when it started. Sometime, years back, after Mari died. All alone, he found himself forcing those conversations he dreaded with everyone he could find. It was painful, but it was distraction. When he was forcing himself to do something he was uncomfortable with, he could ignore everything else that caused him pain in his life. So maybe it wasn’t so bad, despite everything. It wasn’t the shaky words of a mother confessing what had happened to a dear friend. It wasn’t his brother refusing to leave his bed.

That’s how he had built his sports friendships–small talk. It was agonizing, but it was all he could do. It was something that worked, and that's what mattered.

Jay was his closest friend. He couldn’t trust him with everything he had, but he could trust him. He was the only person that he ever let in on the hint that he was having a bad day. Everyone else was met with the same cheery grin. And as to why he was having a bad day, nobody would ever know, as he kept his teeth clamped shut every time Jay would ask.

Someone told him once, a long time ago, that was a bad habit. It was right, and she was right, but she was gone, and the reason why left her a little bit of a hypocrite. He wondered if she would have understood. As a little kid, she had always told him to feel all his feelings, but she was the one holding everything together. Now it felt like he was there, too. Would she empathize with him? She must have known exactly how he felt right now, gripping onto a slippery slope, trying to hold his family up as his brother finally started being himself again.

It didn’t really matter, he realized. Mari was dead. She wouldn’t be able to empathize.

Jay was sitting at a lunch table chatting with his teammates when Kel walked over. The instant he sat down, he was getting bombarded with questions.

“Kel! Did you hear?! You made the Varsity team!!”

“Kel, Angie broke up with me…”

“Bro, what happened to your knee? Oh wait, that was there a few days ago too, huh…”

“Kel! Psst! Me and Angie finally got together! Don’t tell Jack though…”

“What happened in Physical Science? I wasn’t there yesterday…”

“Did you hear? The Hooligans TP’d the principal’s house! He doesn’t know it’s them yet, though…”

“Dude, I had a dream that I saw my great-great-great-great-great…”

“Kel,” Jay said, his voice managing to make it through the chatter. Kel turned to look at him, smiling.

“Hey, Jay! What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing much…except…uh…” he looked embarrassed, itching the back of his neck. “I…need your help with something today.”

Kel blinked. Jay never asked him for something like this. “What is it?”

“Jay, I’m not gonna lie…out of everything you could have asked me, this is what I expected the very least.”

“Shut up, Kel,” Jay hissed, his face red. “I didn’t ask for your criticism.”

Kel rolled his eyes, smiling. “So…tell me about this guy. What’s his name?”

“I…don’t actually know. Everyone calls him Pretty Boy. But…I’ve never even heard his name before.”

“So this guy is all looks no…anything else?”

“NO! No, that's not true he’s…nice. I think that nobody really knows him as a person, though and that's why he’s never known by name. Hell, I forgot to ask…” The jock scowled at himself. Kel found this hilarious, but also heartwarming. He was happy Jay trusted him with this, especially considering that they lived in a small town where nearly everyone went to church.

“There! Look, I told you he was waiting here!” Jay hissed, pointing to a boy with long-ish black hair and thin black eyes that seemed to sparkle. Kel could see where he got his nickname from. He was gorgeous, his face was perfectly clear of acne (a rare sight for a teenager) and his eyelashes were long and curved towards the sky. He looked off into the distance, lost in thought. Rather than eating lunch, he looked like he was waiting for something to happen. Or rather, someone to come by. Kel wondered if it was Jay. But then again, Jay didn’t even know his name, so it was unlikely.

“Okay…Kel. I need you to tell me how to ask him out.”

“What?!” Kel yelped, barely managing to keep it a whisper. “You want me to help you ask someone I don’t even know out?! I’ve never even done that before!”

“Well…you’re the best person I know at talking to people! Come on, you gotta have something!”

“Well…um…just…give him the flowers and ask him to be your boyfriend?”

“Kel, you’re useless.”

“I’m sorry, you just told me I would come with you to be your emotional support! Doesn’t it seem dumb to ask someone you barely know out?!”

“I do know him! I just…never got his name…”

Kel groaned. “Well, get out there before he leaves, stupid!”

“Okay, okay!”

They filed out, Kel walking behind Jay as he went out to make his confession.

“Um…hey. It’s me again. Um…can I ask you something?”

Kel watched as the black-haired boy perked up, looking at him. He donned a small smile.. “Oh…you’re not him. Hi there. What is it?”

“Um…would y–”

“Ah! Sorry I’m late Prince! I–” the newcomer stopped in his tracks at the sight of the new people, blinking. He had bags under his eyes and he looked beat up. Certainly bullied. Jay looked confused by him, but once Kel got a better look, he was left gaping.

“It’s okay, Basil,” Prince said. “Hey, it looks like I have something important to attend to now…” He glanced at Jay, pulling out a slip of paper and writing on it swiftly before handing it to Basil. “Just call me later. I’ll tell you everything I know.”

“T–thank you. I’m sorry I interrupted y…” Basil’s eyes landed on Kel, the color seeping out of his face.

They stared at each other, completely silent.

“I–I gotta go…” Basil stammered. And he ran away, like the tide receding.

Before Kel could even think, he ran after Basil, leaving behind a confused Prince and a protesting Jay to their own devices.

Kel thought he had lost Basil, but just as he was about to finally give up, he heard the faint sound of gasping.

After tracking down the source, he was relieved to find that Basil was crouched down on the ground, out of breath. He had good stamina, but Kel knew he wasn’t strong enough to go as long as he could.

“Basil!” Kel breathed.

“Eep!” Basil shrieked, scrambling backwards as if he wasn’t already backed into a corner. “K–Kel…um…h–hi there…uh…”

Kel frowned. “Basil…what were you doing with Prince…?”

“O–oh! It’s nothing, really, I was just asking him about…something. I–in science. Um…”

“Oh, I see…that’s cool that you’re friends!”

“Um…we’re not really friends…he just was helping…”

Awkward silence hung in the air, until Kel realized exactly where they were.

“W…Basil, why did you run out of the school?!”

“H–huh…?” Basil looked confused, before realization dawned. He didn’t look even the slightest bit bewildered, though, a little surprised at first, but it faded quickly back into an anxiety ridden expression. “Oh…whoops.”

Kel was dumbfounded by Basil’s reaction to somehow running himself all the way out of school. “Basil! This is kind of a big problem! How are we gonna get back in? I don’t even remember how we got out here in the first place!”

Basil was silent. “I…uh…d–don’t really wanna go back in, a–actually. I–it would be nice to just go to the park for a little bit…”

Kel frowned. “Skipping school isn’t good, Basil! You can’t do that!”

Basil shrugged. “I…actually do this a lot…um…the teachers never mark me absent…somehow…”

“You’ve been…playing hooky?” Kel echoed, as if Basil would give him a different answer. But there was none of such a thing. Kel was flabbergasted. Doing something like that was nothing like Basil–he never liked breaking rules. But the Basil he found himself in front of didn’t seem bothered by this at all. It was almost too hard to believe.

“Well…um…if you’re going to the park, could I at least walk you there?”

Basil looked even more anxious at that request, but nonetheless he budged, rising to his feet. “O–okay…”

Kel led the way, walking through the awkward silence like he was trudging through thick mud.

It felt like it was forever when they finally set foot outside the park. Kel and Basil alike stood there silently, looking off into the empty place like it might change into something more cheerful if they stood for long enough. Autumn had cursed the grass to grow dry and the trees to shed their leaves, and in the midst of the school day, it was absent of any children that might usually be there today.

Kel took the initiative, walking inside hesitantly. He wasn’t entirely sure if Basil would even follow, but he did, trailing right behind like a lost duckling. Kel didn’t really know where he was going, but he ended up turning upon the swingset he recalled Aubrey and Sunny always sitting together at. He sat down at one of the swings, feeling much too lanky for it as his knees rested far above where they used to, but nonetheless swung himself back and forth. He didn’t notice when Basil sat down next to him, in the swing just adjacent.

Kel found himself nostalgic. It was familiar, an echo of a time from long ago, one that he had ignored the memory of, but never forgotten. He had given up. It was a rare thing for him, but the simple dread of Basil avoiding him made him stop. It was far too much to try.

And yet here he was. It wasn’t the same, but it was so similar it burned. Like if he flew a little bit higher, he might finally reach the sun he had yearned for, even if it slew his flight and plunged him to the cold water below.

The words slipped past his tongue before he could catch them. “Remember the bench?”

Basil blinked, looking at him with confusion, before faint realization painted his expression. “Oh. Uh…y–yeah. I do…”

“I thought you forgot.”

“I t–though you did too…since you…”

“You never answered.”

“O–oh…right…”

There was more of that silence, more tense than before. Kel tried to force on his happy demeanor again, realizing he had dropped it. “Basil…um…how have you been? Anything happening?”

Basil itched his neck. “Er…no, not really…”

“Do you still take pictures at all?”

“Uh…no…”

“Aw, that’s too bad! You were really good at it, you know! Maybe you should try again sometime?”

“I–I don’t really have the time for that anymore…”

“Why’s that?”

“M–my grandma…she needs me to care for her…s–she says she’ll need a caretaker, b–but I don’t want…someone like that to come, so I–I’m doing it on my own…”

“Oh.” Kel hadn’t thought of Basil’s grandmother in far too long. A sick feeling sunk into his chest, making him feel cold. “Does…she know about you skipping school?”

“N–no…I don’t want her to worry.”

Basil had changed, Kel finally realized. Or, maybe he did, maybe he had a long long time ago, when Mari died, but it wasn’t until now when he was faced with Basil all alone did he really see it for what it was. The way Basil trembled slightly all the time, the bandages all over his fingers, the faint cuts dancing along where his long sleeve met his arm, they were like a glaring sign cutting through the dark Kel had forced himself to keep, showing him that this was Basil, and the one he had known was buried somewhere he couldn’t dig up. The Basil of now looked scared. The Basil of now looked tired. The Basil of now looked like he was going to wilt, just waiting for his decomposing to begin as mushrooms clouded his skin and worms ate him alive. Where Kel once saw refuge, where his closest friend once stood, now lay nothing but a hollowed out shell. Something that looked exactly the same, but something that was emptied out of everything he once knew.

It was truly terrifying. Like setting sail into the unknown, into a place he didn’t understand or quite see, he was trying to reconnect with someone who didn’t quite exist anymore. Or, at least, whose existence has long been forgotten by the person themselves. 

Kel didn’t know how to fix this. Just like everything else around him, even though he was given the chance to speak to Basil once again, he was powerless. There was nothing he could do, not when he felt something that he couldn’t even grasp was within the person next to him. He thought, maybe if he could connect with Hero, if he could talk to Aubrey, if he could get Sunny to come outside, then maybe he could fix it, maybe he could solve what was wrong, but as he was met with Basil, he realized he was but a fool to believe such a thing was even possible. Believing he could be the savior of all of them was nothing but a hopeless wish, a quest for nothing.

He couldn’t do anything at all. And that was it.

“K–Kel…?” Basil asked, looking at him with concern. Kel didn’t understand, until he realized that he had just been staring at Basil as the truth crashed into him.

Something slipped down his cheek, and dropped off the point of his chin. Then another. And another. One by one, tears crawled down his chocolate brown skin, watering the dead grass beneath his feet. He wanted it to stop, but he couldn’t make it happen. He had tried, he had really tried to be what he could be for everyone else for Basil, but the bare, naked truth the blonde greeted his attempts with had sent his happy demeanor to the depths of the Underworld he studied so hard in his Mythology class.

He tried to smile, but it came out ugly. “I–it’s nothing, Basil! D–don’t…” He tried to clean his face off, but it didn’t work. He had the urge to run away. He bolted to his feet. “I–I should…really get going now…haha…”

And just like the blonde haired boy before him, he ran off, with nothing but the sound of his own feet hitting the ground to join him.

It was five nights later when Kel drummed his fist on the glass of a familiar window. Five times, slow and even, just like he used to.

He didn’t expect anything. He didn’t even know why he was back here. It had been three years since the last time he had even bothered to try.

But then a figure appeared in the window, and as it slowly eased it open, a pair of blue eyes, catching the moonlight like glowing stars, met his own.

“B…Basil…! You actually–” A pale finger silenced him, pressing against his lips.

“Shhh,” Basil hissed. “My grandma isn’t asleep yet. She can’t hear that well, but we’ll have to be quiet. Okay?”

It was the steadiest he had heard Basil’s voice in a long time. It almost felt like it had years ago, the only thing that made it clear this was the present was the absence of a smile on Basil’s face and the seriousness in his tone. They tip-toed through the backyard and slid past the fence, a little bit awkward in their larger sizes, but still familiar and quick.

It didn’t take long to reach the clearing they were so familiar with. The bench still stood, undisturbed by time.

Kel felt a small, true smile creep onto his face. He walked over to the bench, running his hand over the seat. He spotted something sitting on the ground just under it, and when he reached for it, he gasped.

“Hey-hey-hey! Basil, it’s your old deck of cards, look! It’s all warped from water, though…”

Basil stared at it fondly, before looking back at Kel. “W–what are you doing here, Kel?”

Kel bit his lip. “I–I don’t know. I guess I wanted to say sorry about a few days back…cause I ran away and stuff…”

“Oh…”

“Why did you answer?”

Basil was silent. It took him a few minutes to answer. “I–I guess…I missed it, was all…”

They were both silent for a long moment longer, until Kel finally spoke again, resting himself on the old bench. “Then let’s just hang out here for a little.”

Without a sound, Basil shakily eased himself in the spot by Kel. In silence, they watched the stars shine as they breathed in the cool fall night.

“Do you really think this’ll work…?”

Kel shrugged. “No point in not trying, am I right?” He grinned at the flower boy, who looked perplexed by his attempts. “Whaddya wanna play, Speed? James Bond? War?”

“I–I guess I was never the best at James Bond…”

“Then James Bond it is!” Kel cheered, shuffling the deck of screwed up cards as best he could. They could still piece together the numbers and letters that decorated them, he thanked God for, but they still were bent and stiff from rain and snow.

“So what do you do nowadays…?” Basil asked meekly. “I–I mean…um…you don’t actually have to tell me that…”

Kel paused. “Well…I made it onto the Varsity B-Ball team! Apparently I’m the only freshman who made it…? I dunno, I think that’s pretty sick though!”

“R–really…?!” Basil looked dumbfounded. “That's…wow…do you realize how impressive that is…?”

Kel shrugged. “Eh. It’s not that much.”

“You’re kidding me right?! It is that much!” Basil exclaimed, before seemingly realizing what he was doing and shrinking back. “I–I mean, I think it’s impressive…I don’t understand how you don’t…”

Kel blinked, surprised by Basil’s strong reaction. He hadn’t expected him to be so worked up by something like that. He laughed a little. “Alright, if you think it’s so impressive, maybe I’ll think so too…”

He remembered when he told his parents about it. They had brushed him off, telling him congratulations, before asking him if he had heard that Hero was the very best in his class at University.

He had called Hero after and told him about it. Hero was proud, and Hero thought it was impressive, but Kel had a bitter taste in his mouth.

Now, he just felt proud, beaming at the stack of cards as he dealt them out.

He was coming regularly again. At first, he and Basil didn’t do anything over here, but now they started talking again. A little bit, and then a lot, and now they were back to screwing around. It took months, but as the spring air settled back in, Kel was ecstatic. He had his best friend back.

“Okay…” Kel said. “You ready?”

“Three…”

“Hey! I asked if you were ready, not to count!”

“You’re gonna lose if you don’t focus Kel,” Basil said slyly, a bit of his mischievous side shining through as he gave Kel a smug look. “Two…”

Kel groaned, reaching for one of his decks.

“One…go!”

They both lunged at their cards, shuffling through them as fast as they could and clawing at the four in the center like vultures at the last scraps of food. What was once a neat arrangement became a cluttered mess as the two of them scrambled to swap cards.

“JAMES BOND!” Basil practically screeched when he finished his last hand, slamming the finished four of queens on the grass next to him triumphantly.

Kel cried a frustrated “NOOOO!” He groaned, shoving his unfinished hand to the ground and burying his face in his hands. After a moment of moping, he glared at Basil. “Never the best at James Bond, my ASS! You’re a little twerp, you know that?!”

Basil simply stuck his tongue out. “Blehhh. You can’t stop me. You got worse.”

“I ABSOLUTELY DIDN’T! You just decided to become good behind my back!”

“Who would I even play with…?”

“I dunno, your grandma? She’s probably a James Bond ninja or something.”

Basil laughed. And he laughed, and he laughed, and he laughed. A smile bloomed on his freckled face like none Kel had seen for years, as bright as the gaps of sunlight on a tree-covered meadow. It was like music, that sound. Like a soft, beautiful melody. Kel was mesmerized. He never wanted it to stop. He loved it. He loved it more than anything in that moment, he would die for it. He would even kill for it. And when it faded, he would do anything to make it happen again. There was nothing as beautiful in his world. He felt himself smiling too. Not like his cheeriest smile, plastered on his face like glue, but something he couldn’t describe. His eyes glittered with happiness.

Basil met them after a moment, shyly as ever. “Aha…anyways. Another game?”

And they played, over and over again. Kel lost most of them. By the final game, Basil had won ten out of twelve. Kel dug his hands into his hair. “How are you DOING THIS?!”

Basil shrugged, smiling innocently. God, Kel loved his smile. “Beats me!”

Kel shoved the deck of cards aside, growling angrily. “You’re literally the worst. I can’t believe you right now.”

“You wish you were as good as me.”

Kel fumed, glaring at the boy. “Hey! Shut your mouth!”

“Oh yeah? Are you gonna make me? What are you gonna–HEY! WOAH!”

Kel scooped the shorter boy off his feet, dangling him over his shoulder as he kicked his bruised legs in the air. “KEL! PUT ME DOWWWWN! HOW ARE YOU EVEN THIS STRONG?!”

And there it was again, that wonderful sound. Kel felt like he might cry, hearing that melody grace his ears once more. He missed it. He missed it so much. He could die. He could die right here, and it would be okay, cause he was happy. He was really, really happy.

Basil pushed himself up to look Kel in the face, blowing a raspberry at him in defiance. He cried a screech as Kel shook him for that “KELLL! STOP ITTTT!”

“Fine, fine! But that's what you get, flower boy!”

Basil pushed himself again, looking Kel right in the eyes. His eyes were as blue as the sky, bright and glowing. He didn’t try to get down, just stared back, smiling faintly at him. Kel felt his entire face flare with heat, and a sheepish grin shone on his lips. Basil’s lashes were light, a little darker than his hair, but still light. They were long and low–hanging, dancing along the boy’s eyes like a frame. His freckles made Kel think of the stars in the sky, speckled along his skin like a doe’s pale white spots. Kel thought he looked gorgeous tonight. He had always believed Basil was prettier than any of the other boys he had seen, but right now, he felt enchanted by him. He should have been nicknamed Pretty Boy, he thought. Prince would never be as beautiful as him. But Kel thought, maybe it was better that nobody else saw his beauty. Then he would be able to be its lone beholder. It could belong to him, and nobody else. And Kel’s heart sang, it sang with love. He loved Basil. Basil was his very closest friend, and he loved him. He loved him. He really, really loved him.

Basil broke the silence. “Kel?”

“Yeah, Basil?”

“Did you know the real Liberty Bell is actually gone? It disappeared forever ago.”

“Really?! Then is it just gone?! There’s nothing in there?!”

“No, they put a replica in there. It’s sitting there, but it’ll never be the same as the original. Isn’t…that kind of sad?”

Kel thought. “I mean, yeah. I guess it is kind of sad. We’ll never see the original again.” There was a short pause. “But…what if the new one’s something cool too?”

Basil blinked. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…we could all focus on how we lost the original…and we can all be sad that it’ll never return, but…then we wouldn’t be giving the new one a chance to shine, you know? What if the new one’s just as amazing? What if it chimes just as well? What if it sounds better, shines better? You know? I think I’d rather give the new Liberty Bell a chance.”

“I…I guess I never thought of it that way…” Basil said, glancing away.

They both paused. “Do you want me to put you down?”

Basil thought. “No,” he said, leaning into Kel and wrapping his arms around him. “Let’s just stay like this for a while longer.”

It was April when Basil told Kel the news. It was raining, but Basil had insisted that Kel come again. So Kel listened–it had been the first time Basil asked for him himself.

“Grandma’s getting a caretaker,” Basil said quietly, as they sat on the wet bench despite the discomfort. He gripped his umbrella tight. “I…didn’t really believe it would come to this. I thought she was getting better…but…she can barely get out of bed by herself. T–the other day…s–she fell.”

Kel was silent, staring in shock at him. Basil didn’t dare meet his eyes.

Basil let in a shaky breath, before continuing. “I–I don’t know what to do, Kel…I don’t know what to do. I–I think I’m…I think she’s…” Basil’s voice cracked. He breathed again. “I–I–I…think I’m l–losing her, Kel. I–it’s over. Shes…”

“Basil, I’m sure she’s gonna be–”

“SHE WON’T BE FINE, KEL!” Basil yelled, tears streaming down his face. Kel was left stunned. Basil never yelled. “I—I’m tired of…pretending that everything will be okay…I–I know…s–she’s not okay and…I…just can’t ignore that anymore…she…she…”

Something shifted in Basil’s expression. His eyes were wide. His entire body was shaking. He was gasping for air, like he was choking to death, his breathing fast and shallow.

“Basil?” Kel asked, scared. But there was no response.

Kel didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t sure what was happening. He looked around, for something, anything to help, but in the end, he saw nothing. So he did the only thing he could think of, pulling Basil into a hug as slowly and gently as he could, and he began rambling.

“I–I had a pretty good day today at school! Well, not really, but it had a good ending, you know? Me and Jay–that’s my friend, the guy talking to Prince first semester–were in art class when the teacher absolutely lost it at the class. Everyone was talking really loudly–including me and Jay, hehe…anyways, she snapped and just stormed out the door. And she was gone just like that, for the rest of class! It kind of freaked me out, but afterward I thought it was funny. It seemed so out of place for her. But then again, we’re a really annoying class. Anyway, the class started throwing art supplies at each other. It was like a food fight but with clay. I tried to get everyone to stop, but the principal walked in and thought it was me who started the fight! Can you believe that?! Anyways, he made me go to the office but luckily Jay had my back and told him I was just trying to stop them. I guess Hero’s influence came in handy, too, cause the principal said Hero’s brother couldn’t have done that, so he let me go after talking about how great Hero was– blehhh. Anyways, I got to skip a lot of class cause I was waiting in the office! And me and Jay went and got Gino’s with the rest of the team, which is always awesome! So somehow it turned out to be a good day! I call that a win, personally.”

When he was done, he realized Basil was breathing steadily, still shaking, but calmed down. He looked down at the blonde, smiling reassuringly. “Are you okay?”

Basil was quiet. “I–I’m…as okay as I’ll ever be…” A pause. “T–thank you Kel…”

“No problem! Anything for you, Basil!”

They were both quiet, until Basil stood up alone, not looking at Kel.

“I–I think I’ll head home now…you should too, Kel. Goodnight…”

And Basil left, leaving Kel all alone on the bench.