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The first thing Jason noticed was pain. Or, to be specific, the suspicious lack thereof.
His bones weren’t grinding together. He was no longer slick with blood. His scorched skin no longer burned.
Bruce must’ve saved him, right?
The second thing Jason noticed was something coarse and unstable beneath him. It wasn’t a hospital bed like he’d hoped.
Confused and scared, he cracked his eyes open before they flew open and he sat up in horror. Before him lay the ocean. The gentle waves lapped upon the shore, singing a peaceful lullaby. A few wispy clouds clung to the horizon where the sky was exploding in the colors of sunrise while the far reaches of the sky were still dark and sprinkled with stars. His hands were fisted in the sand and grains of the white particles stuck to his clothes.
Clothes that he’d never seen before. He was dressed in an all-black robe. It looked like the robes ancient Greeks would wear, but why was he wearing it?
Clambering to his feet, he began walking barefoot along the beach, trying to find any sign of life. It felt like he walked for hours without seeing so much as a sandpiper. And what was even stranger was that the sky hadn’t changed at all. The sun was still only a sliver on the horizon and the moon still hung low on the opposite side of the sky.
Frustrated and stressed, Jason sat down on the sand and tried to figure out how he got here. The robes made him think he’d been kidnapped by a cult, but why would they abandon him on the beach? Besides, Ethiopia didn’t have any beaches–
Ethiopia. His mom. The Joker.
The bomb.
Bitter cold and a terrifying numbness engulfed his small form. Bruce didn’t make it in time. No one could survive what he’d been through. His breaths started coming in panicked pants.
No. No, no, no, this can’t be happening! He’s fifteen. He can’t be dead! There was still so much he wanted to do. He wanted to go to college. He wanted to become his own hero. He wanted to finish the book he’d left half-finished at home. He wants to live.
But he can’t. He’s dead now.
Oh no, what about Bruce? And Dick and Alfred? Despite their rough patches, he cared for them. Bruce acts drastically in response to grief and often mistakenly shouldered unnecessary burdens. The man put his life on the line every night after his parents died. What would happen to him when Jason died? Would he grieve?
Tears slipped down his face and a scream of pure rage and grief tore from his throat. Why? Why him? All he wanted was family, damnit! Was it so wrong of him to want someone to care about him?
Did Bruce even come for him? Was his mortal body rotting alone and unloved with a collapsed warehouse as its tomb?
No, he can’t do this!
“Please, just let me go home,” Jason screams. The sound of his pleas echo over the ocean, but his only response is the ever-constant lap of the waves.
“I’ll do anything. Please, I’m not ready to die,” he sobs into his hands as he falls to his knees. Sure he put a brave face on as the clock ticked down to zero, but he didn’t expect to have to deal with the aftermath. He expected there to be nothing after death. Not…this.
After he finished crying his heart out, he found himself staring out toward the permanent sunrise and wondering if this is what he deserved. This was pretty damn close to nothingness. He was left alone with nothing but the sky, the sand, and the sea.
He knew he wasn’t a good kid, but he had at least hoped that he’d done enough good as Robin to earn him a few moments with his mom. Just enough time for one hug. He didn’t deserve even that much, but that hadn’t stopped him from hoping. From wishing.
Miserably, he dragged himself to his feet and started walking again. The cool waves tumbled over his feet and washed away the footprints behind him.
It was fitting really. He was nothing now in death just as he was nothing in life. He didn’t deserve to leave a trace in the first place.
He walked. And he walked. And walked.
And he would’ve continued walking if a cool hand hadn’t gently grabbed his shoulder. Jason started and whipped around to come face to face with a tall and strange, yet elegant woman. Her skin was pale gray like moondust and her hair was cascading black and blues of the deepest night as it fell over her shoulders. Her eyes seemed to be the void itself. There were no pupils and the endless white almost seemed to glow. She wore a billowing black dress that flowed almost magically in the breeze.
“Who’re you? Why are you here?” Jason asked in bewilderment. Was she here to take him to hell?
The woman gave him a small smile and gestured for him to walk beside him before answering. “I am Death, child,” her silky voice reminded him of a soft spring rain hitting leaves. “I am here to keep you company before it’s time.”
“Time for what?”
“Whatever comes next.” A faint laugh colored her soothing tone, and whatever leftover stress remained melted out of Jason’s form. She seemed nice, and he’d already accepted what would come next. It wasn’t her fault. It was his.
“What’s hell like,” he asked with more calm than he’d ever felt in his short life.
The woman gazed at him silently with her slightly eerie eyes before saying, “That’s not something you need to concern yourself with. You aren’t destined for such a place. Unless it is for a position as a Keeper of Souls.”
Jason stopped in his tracks. “I’m not?” He gazed up at Death in shock. He was so sure though?
Death grabbed his hand and gently urged him to continue walking. “No, Jason. No matter what people have told you or what you may think, you are a good person. One of the best, even. You shine so bright with hope and fight so adamantly for what’s right.”
He could only let Death pull him along in silence as he mulled over what she’d said. He was good? He didn’t deserve condemnation?
A few treacherous tears slipped down his face, and Death was the one who stopped them this time. She crooned comfortingly as she wiped away the tears. “I know your life has been hard. But know that you didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve the evil that plagued you. Life and I have watched over you and waited for the day you’d become a protector. The day you’d become who you were meant to be.”
Swiping at his eyes, he muttered, “Didn’t last very long.”
“Oh, darling, it hasn’t even started yet. That is, if you want to go back?”
Startled, Jason snapped his gaze to meet hers. “I can live again?!”
Death gave him a smile, but it seemed sad and strained. “Yes, but it won’t be easy. In fact, you’ll struggle for years before you’re happy again. Is that really what you want? If it isn’t, I’ll take you to the After. Life and I want you to be happy. We will accept whatever choice you make.”
Jason took a moment to think. He wanted to live. He wanted to be the protector Death could see in him. But did he really want to struggle again? Did he want to be miserable for years?
Yes, he did. No matter what, he was a fighter and he would be brave. What was a few years of hell if that meant living a life of meaning and possibly getting to die without regrets?
“If I was meant to become a protector or whatever, why did I die?” Jason asked in a hushed tone. Despite being determined to be brave, he was scared of the answer. What if it was because he was selfish and stupid enough to run straight into the Joker’s clutches? What if this really was all his fault?
Anger, hatred, and sorrow flickered across Death’s face. “That would be partially mine and Life’s fault. We took an interest in you from a young age and an enemy sought to destroy what we held dear. That entity broke your life’s hourglass long before its time. But because of that, we’re able to revive you. If you so choose, that is.”
“ I want to go back. But can I see my mom first?” he finally said.
Death gave him a forlorn look and started walking again. “If you want to live again, I’m afraid you can’t. I’m so sorry, darling. If it was my choice, she would’ve been here the moment you arrived.”
Jason was disappointed but nodded in understanding. “Could you tell me anything about what’ll happen when I go back? Is there anything I should keep in mind?”
“I can’t go into details, but you should know that while the next few years will be horrible, they will be critical in shaping you into the protector the world needs and the man you need yourself to be. Most importantly, you are capable of surviving and thriving. You are a good person and you always will be. No matter how you or others feel about you, know that you’re good, kind, and deserve to be happy. And even if we aren’t there, know that Life and I support you and are so very proud.”
Tears once again threatened to appear, but Jason squeezed his eyes shut and forced them down. Above him, Death asked, “May I hug you?”
In lieu of answering, Jason simply wrapped himself around her waist. Her slightly cold arms gently encompassed his thin frame. “We’re here,” she whispered into his ear.
Pulling out of the hug, Jason looked up to find a massive, open-air temple before them. The entire building was made of polished obsidian with veins of pure silver weaving amongst the stone. Vibrant sapphires decorated the stone and shone like stars in the perpetual sunlight.
As Death guided him up the steps, he saw that the only thing within the temple was a massive hourglass that must have stood nearly twenty feet tall. Small skulls were delicately carved into the glass’s casing and the sand looked like someone had turned the midnight sky into powder. Black particles and what had to be stars flowed from the top to bottom in a glittering, mesmerizing display.
“Are you ready,” Death asked serenely. The words were stuck in Jason’s throat, so he merely nodded in response. A sad look crossed Death’s face and she gently clasped Jason’s hand in both of hers. “The beginning of your life may very well be the worst thing you’ve ever experienced. I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but you can get through it.”
She looked toward the hourglass and Jason followed her gaze. There was barely any sand left at the top. As the last few grains fell into the bottom, his form began to flicker.
“I’m so sorry Jason. I wish your return could start differently. I’m so sorry.” Jason couldn’t help but feel concerned as he finally flickered away from Death’s beach.
What was so bad that she’d keep apologizing like this?
_______
The space was dark and suffocating. This was it. A beginning so terrible Death herself apologized.
Jason took a deep breath –
And screamed.