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~~♡~~
Adrien didn’t fall. At least he didn’t let other people see anything that could be considered a fall. He didn’t stumble or make mistakes or be anything other than agonizingly perfect. He had to be, it’s what was expected of him from his father. Everyone expected that of him now. And he didn’t want to disappoint. He didn’t want to be himself fully for fear of what would happen. He’d break his perfect bubble. He’d disappoint the people he loved. All of them.
So when he did fall, he couldn’t believe how obvious he was. It was as if he had dropped a fistfull of bells, clattering around the ground as he stared on at Ladybug. She had come into his life and everything at once had shifted. One look in her bluebell eyes and he was done for. It couldn’t be helped. He couldn’t be helped. He didn’t want to be helped.
Falling for Ladybug had felt like freedom. She had felt like everything he ever wanted wrapped in red and black. He loved the way she trusted him, loved the way she looked at him. The day he had realized that it wasn’t just a crush, he’d been so off his game that he had almost fallen down the stairs at school. Marinette had helped him with his books, worrying over him for a moment before she rushed off.
It had been her that distracted him as well. He had seen her hair from the corner of his eye and thought that Ladybug had found him, had searched him out and was there to call on him or just to see him. Marinette had asked him if he saw a ghost when she saw the look on his face, her worry so evident. He had laughed it off, telling her he was thinking about an assignment or an ad campaign. He couldn’t really remember. He just knew whatever he had said had made enough sense that she just smiled and nodded.
Marinette was like that, always there when you needed her. She was around and capable and so, so talented. And she always made him think of his Ladybug. He remembered a dream he had had once where he and Ladybug danced in the sky the same way he had danced with Marinette. It always made his heart ache from want. He wanted to be there for Ladybug, to support her and make her feel safe and loved and make sure she knew how very important she was. He needed her to know that if all of Paris burned he’d look at her the same way and still say her name with the reverence it deserved. She would always be treated with the devotion she deserved.
Nino had caught him once when he was looking at a picture of Ladybug on his phone, lost in a day dream of them together. Nino had laughed a bit, said that she was perfect for him, and went about his day. The words hung in Adrien’s heart. His best friend approved, which was as close to approval from everyone he loved as he thought he would ever get.
It was something so special to him, so meaningful and close to his chest that Adrien never dared to force things. He was playful as Chat Noir but he made sure he didn’t force her. He needed her to know she could leave at any moment.
The boy she loved was lucky. He had to be in order to capture her heart. He was so, so lucky and Adrien was so, so jealous. Some boy out there who didn’t know that his Lady spoke of him so highly. She spoke about this boy the way Adrien thought of her. And right now, it wasn’t too painful to bear.
He knew one day it would be too much for him. One day she’d get that look in her eyes and he’d frown, hating that boy for having what he wanted. Even with all the money he had, all the influence, all of the world at his fingertips, it was just like him to want what he couldn’t have.
Adrien felt a bit entitled, but he didn’t dwell on it for too long. He didn’t want to think about his own shortcomings for once. He wanted to think about his Lady.
“Hey, earth to Adrien! What could you possibly be thinking so hard about? Cheese?”
Plagg flew close to Adrien’s face, finally snapping Adrien out of his far-off gaze. Adrien smiled, letting Plagg land on his hand.
“I was thinking about Ladybug.”
“Eh-YUCK! Her again? I honestly have to say I do *not* get humans’ obsession with love.”
“I hope you do get it one day.”
“Fat chance! I’m a kwami, we don’t fall in love!”
“Are you sure?”
Plagg looked a little taken aback at that, but Adrien wasn’t looking at him to even realize. His eyes were staring out the window, focused on something beyond the skyline. Plagg huffed and flew away, deciding munching on camembert was better than thinking about the pang of hurt he felt at Adrien’s remark.
Besides, it wasn’t like he was sure what he felt was love or not. He couldn’t be sure like Adrien was. At least he didn’t think he could be.
~~♡~~