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Miles was sitting in his office quietly working away on some case files when a familiar rapping knock on his door startled him out of his train of thought.
“Come in,” He called.
The door slowly creaked open to reveal Gumshoe tentatively stepping into the office, gently closing the door behind him with one hand. The crinkling and shuffling of paper as Gumshoe moved made Miles peer up from his paperwork, and the purple-wrapped gift box pinned to his side made him quirk an eyebrow in intrigue, but otherwise he looked back down at his more important case notes.
“What’s that?” Miles asked over his paper.
“This,” Gumshoe announced, walking over to set the box down on Miles’ desk with a quiet thud, “is a gift from the Fey sisters. It was delivered to the precinct today for me, but it’s actually for the both of us.”
“From Maya?” Miles looked up.
“And Pearl.” Gumshoe then tacked on, “... not sure about Mia, though.”
Setting his pen down orderly beside his work, Miles finally drew his full attention to the box. Upon closer inspection, it was obvious Pearl had been the one to wrap it: the wrapping paper was wrinkled and torn into large chunks and pieces, all held together with haphazardly placed tape. The pink ribbon tying it all together must’ve been Maya’s handiwork though, the little bow crafted from the ends of the ribbon a bit too complex for the work to be solely Pearl’s.
“Oh Lord.” Miles whispered under his breath. He reached out to pick up the box, the weight of it a bit heavy but not so much so that it was a strain. He traced his hands along the flat surfaces of the box, fingertips feeling the grooves of the torn paper and fingernails tepidly picking at the excessive tape… and then he pushed the gift back towards Gumshoe.
“Would you like to do the honours?” He decided to frame it as such.
“Really?” Gumshoe lit up at the opportunity.
“Of course.” Miles nodded.
Excitedly, Gumshoe took back the gift and immediately got to work tearing off the wrapping paper, struggling a bit with the tape and the ribbon but brute-forcing his way through it. The cardboard box hidden underneath the wrapping paper was plain, no external markings or shipping stickers, and not even taped: the sides were folded into each other to keep it closed instead. Once the wrapping paper had been scattered across Miles' floor, Gumshoe pried open the folded sides to reveal pastel pink tissue paper and a small white envelope sealed together with a magatama sticker.
"There's no mistaking, it's definitely from the Fey's…" Miles hummed, watching Gumshoe attentively. He grinned wide but said nothing in response. He was almost vibrating with excitement, like a puppy wagging its tail, as he continued opening the gift.
Setting the letter gently aside and throwing the tissue paper on the floor to join the wrapping paper, Gumshoe tilted the now opened gift towards Miles, revealing two pristine white mugs wrapped in bubble wrap.
"Mugs!" Gumshoe exclaimed.
"Mugs." Miles repeated. "What a strangely normal gift from the Fey’s-"
And it was when Gumshoe lifted them both out and slipped them out from their bubble wrap that Miles faltered. Paused. Stared.
"D-Dick… " He muttered, jaw agape.
The first mug, mostly white, had the words ICK painted on it in black. Which would've been weird but relatively fine if the handle hadn't had a D shape, also painted black… spelling out, in unmistakable lettering, “DICK.”
The mug literally said "DICK."
The second mug had the same scheme except an M shaped handle, spelling out MILES altogether.
Miles groaned, raising his hands to pull at his face in exasperation.
"Please tell me this is just a play of our first names. Please, for the love of God…"
"I don't know sir, but I like them!" Gumshoe grinned. "They're kinda cute!"
Deflating, Miles sunk his head down onto his desk, moving his left arm to let his forehead rest against them with a heavy sigh. His right arm began rummaging around his desk drawers until it fished out a small letter opener, which Miles then raised to offer to Gumshoe.
"Read the letter, please." Miles muffled.
Picking up the letter and accepting the opener from Miles, Gumshoe carefully sliced open the envelope, slipping out a neatly handwritten letter.
“Dear Mr. Edgeworth and Mr. Gumshoe,” He started reading aloud. “Happy early April Fools! We hope these mugs serve you both well in the office… From the Fey family.” Gumshoe squinted a bit, “and then there’s Maya and Pearl’s signatures at the bottom, though it looks like Pearl just scribbled hers.”
“Well.” Miles muffled. “That was elaborative.”
Gumshoe merely shrugged, picking up the mug of his name and twirling it around in his hands, examining it.
“So who’s mug is who’s?” He idly asked.
Miles sat up again, gaze again trained on the mug in Gumshoe’s hands.
“I was hoping they would tell us in the letter.” He said. “Either way, I refuse to drink from a mug that says ‘DICK.’ I can already imagine the colourful jokes my colleagues will come up with...”
Gumshoe frowned slightly at that, pausing the mug in his hands upside-down.
“Um, sir…” He said tentatively. His eyes flicked back and forth between the mug and Miles. “It’s actually got your name on the bottom.”
“What?”
Gumshoe turned the mug’s bottom around to face Miles, and Miles leaned over his desk to examine it himself, only to confirm that in the middle of the mug’s bottom was his name, Miles Edgeworth, engraved in small black print.
There was no mistaking, it was supposed to be his.
“Oh God.” Miles sighed.
“I guess that means the MILES mug is mine!” Gumshoe grinned.
Miles reached into the box to pull out the MILES mug, and upon turning it upside down in his hands, he confirmed that the bottom had Dick Gumshoe similarly engraved into it as well.
“Oh, that’s just lovely.” Miles mumbled to himself.
“It’s thoughtful!” Gumshoe exclaimed. “Maybe they thought that if we left them here and somebody used them, they could return them to us because they’ll know who they belong to.”
“That’s horrible.” Miles groaned. “My name, associated with a DICK mug…”
Cradling the beloved mug in his hands, Gumshoe radiated excitement.
“So, wanna go break them in?” He asked.
“Absolutely not.”
“Aw, c’mon sir! These were obviously custom made just for us, we owe it to Maya and Pearl to at least use them!”
“I am not putting my mouth on that mug in front of others.”
“... Please?” Gumshoe asked.
Miles paused. Reading his facial expression, Gumshoe had that look on him… sunken shoulders, eyebrows raised, holding the mug so gently, as if it was his prized possession. It dawned on him then that Gumshoe actually cared about these mugs, that he loved them. They meant a lot to him. Come to think of it, Gumshoe rarely got gifts at all, so for such a gag gift to excite him so shouldn’t have been a surprise to him…
Miles sighed.
“Fine.” He caved.
The Prosecutor’s Building had little kitchenettes scattered about the building for beverage and lunchtime use, and the nearest one to Miles’ office was a trek down to the 10th floor. It only had a counter, mini-fridge, and a small stove in the last years of its life, but the coffee pot that was shoved in the corner was always full of hot coffee and there was an electric kettle kept in an overhead cabinet that Miles could use to boil water for his tea. Miles pulled the electric kettle out and filled it with water while Gumshoe got to work washing each mug before use, and while Miles waited for his water to finish boiling, Gumshoe got to pour his mug of black coffee and take a sip.
“I think you’re the only one willing to drink that sewage known as coffee.” Miles small-talked.
“I mean, it’s not great… it’s cheap and usually stale. But it beats nothing, sir.”
Gumshoe’s tenacity to appreciate the saddest things in life was both something to admire and to mourn.
Eventually Miles’ kettle clicked off and he carefully poured the boiling water into his mug. He reached over into the overhead cabinet to pull out an orange pekoe tea bag and he dipped it into his mug, swirling it around as it began to steep.
And just as Miles brought the mug up to take a small taste-test of a sip, Lana Skye rounded the corner, plain black thermos in hand.
Perfect timing.
“Good morning Mr. Edgeworth, Detective.” She greeted them both with a curt nod.
Then she stopped right in her tracks when she processed what Miles was holding.
“... Dick…” She read aloud.
Miles immediately tensed up, embarrassment rising to redden his cheeks and clench his jaw.
“I-It’s a joke gift from a friend of mine!” He immediately stammered to defend himself. Gumshoe laughed.
Lana began snickering as well.
“Aw, they picked well then. It suits you!” She laughed.
“M-Ms. Skye!” Miles gritted.
“Oh, relax.” Lana sighed with a grin. She moved in between Miles and Gumshoe to reach for the coffee pot and fill her thermos with some of the coffee left over. “I’m just teasing you. Tell your friend to make me one too, I’d love one.”
Miles clammed up. He grumbled in lieu of real words.
“Look, Ms. Skye!” Gumshoe interjected. “I’ve got one too! Our friend gave us matching mugs of our names as an early April Fools’ gift.”
Lana turned to look properly at Gumshoe’s mug, held out in his hands with pride, and she immediately lit up, light-bulb going off.
“Oooooh!” She exclaimed. “They’re names! Your first name is Dick?”
“Yes ma’am! Detective Dick Gumshoe!” Gumshoe beamed.
“Thaaaaat… that makes sense…” Lana hummed sheepishly. She turned to face Miles again, bowing slightly. “I apologize, Mr. Edgeworth.”
“N-No worries…” Miles sighed.
Fishing out a small carton of milk from the mini-fridge, Lana finished preparing her coffee, and with the clank of her dropping her spoon into the sink, she nodded curtly to the both of them.
“See you both around.” She announced her exit.
“Bye, Ms. Skye!” Gumshoe waved.
Once she rounded the corner again, Miles sighed, both exasperated and relieved. He took the first real sip of his tea to steel himself, the hot liquid instantly working to calm his nerves.
“Aw, it wasn’t really that bad, was it?” Gumshoe asked over his own mug, concerned.
“I am never doing this again.” Miles said.
“Okay.” Gumshoe frowned. “ I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry.” Miles frowned too, chewing at his bottom lip. “I’ll… just keep this mug at home.”
“So what do you think of the mugs we got you and Gumshoe?” Maya excitedly chattered over the phone. She had rung him during his lunch break; plotted and schemed, he was sure. Miles leaned back into his office chair, eyes staring up towards the ceiling, quietly exhaling as he wracked his brain for something not-insensitive to say.
“They’re… lovely.” He tried to say as neutrally as possible. “Gumshoe loved them. Lana Skye… made fun of me.”
Maya began cackling into his ear, no doubt the mental image of them using the mugs getting the best of her.
“Perfect!” She exclaimed. “I’m glad.”
Miles frowned, rubbing at his forehead with his free hand.
“Maya?” Miles asked.
“Yes?”
“You know I appreciate everything you do for me.”
“Yes-”
“Never give me those sorts of gag gifts again.”
And with sudden maniacal laughter taking over the phone line, Miles hung up with the inkling of a smile cracking at his frown.