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English
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Part 1 of Bill and Frank fics
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Published:
2023-02-08
Completed:
2023-02-08
Words:
1,296
Chapters:
2/2
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20
Kudos:
341
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End Racism in the OTW | I've got you

Summary:

He’s not prepared for Frank’s expression to snap shut like one of his traps, nor for how suddenly cold his voice is when he speaks.
“You know, I did make it here. It would be nice if you stopped acting like I’m completely useless.”
He turns around and leaves the kitchen before Bill can even react.

Notes:

Hello TLOU fandom, forgive me for being a poser and only watching one episode but i have a metaphorical backbone made of cooked spaghetti 🤣 your awesome show is a fandom in law to me via my sibling, the old gays just got to me ok 😭

I have a very strong feelings about kinda dippy goofballs that get joked about and it's nice and fun up to a point at which they gotta put their foot down 😳

EDIT 24/05/2023: Curious about the title of this fic? This is part of an effort to hold AO3 accountable on promises they made in 2020 to deal with issues of racism and harassment on their platform. Learn more, share and get involved here! https://www.tumblr.com/end-otw-racism/716978822501875712/fandom-against-racism-a-manifesto

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

It happens a few weeks after Frank arrives. He’s expressing wonder at Bill’s skill in preparing the rabbit he’d trapped and Bill, bashful, just scoffs and makes some comment about how it’s a wonder Frank made it here if he’s impressed by that.

He’s not prepared for Frank’s expression to snap shut like one of his traps, nor for how suddenly cold his voice is when he speaks.

“You know, I did make it here. It would be nice if you stopped acting like I’m completely useless.”

He turns around and leaves the kitchen before Bill can even react.

It’s bad, how long it takes for Bill to go after him. He’d gone back to the rabbit, the red flush spreading across his face and the shame curdling in his gut and the unerring panic that this is what will make Frank leave him making him cross and defensive. What was he supposed to think? The man turns up here, falls right into his trap, isn’t even carrying a gun. He trusts Bill immediately, gives him about twenty opportunities to kill him in the first hour should he choose. All this is just because Bill feels protective of him.

It’s all bullshit and he knows it.

He goes to find Frank.

He’s sitting on the edge of the porch, staring out into the fading light. To Bill’s surprise and increasing shame his eyes are red and puffy as he draws level with him.

He kicks at the dirt and clears his throat uncomfortably. “I’m-I’m sorry.” He wants to say more, like I don’t think you’re useless and I just worry about you and please, please don’t leave.

“I made it here,” Frank repeats quietly. He turns his head to look at Bill hard. “Nine people didn’t. But I did. You don’t know what I had to do. What it’s like out there.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“But you don’t,” Frank repeats with a humourless smile, turning to stare into the gathering gloom again. “Sure, you go outside the compound. But you always get to come back, don’t you? We didn’t have that option. We didn’t get a break. You don’t know what that’s like.”

All sorts of arguments rear their stubborn heads. Bill does know what it’s really like, thank you very much. Nowhere in this goddamn world is safe, he could’ve told him that years ago– But he swallows them down and holds his tongue. Maybe Frank does know things he doesn’t. About fear and about suffering. About surviving. Maybe that makes him braver than Bill, that he is still willing to trust at all.

“I’m sorry,” he says instead, trying to pour as much earnestness into it as he can.

“And I wouldn’t have made it here alone either. So stop acting like I’m completely useless just because I’m not an asshole to everyone I meet.”

“I don’t think you’re completely useless,” Bill says, honestly.

“Thank you.” It’s sarcastic but Bill can hear a shadow of a smile, a real one, in Frank’s voice. He reaches out and puts a hand on Bill’s calf, holding him. “Just. If this is gonna work, you’re gonna have to try to be a bit more open, ok? There’s more than one way to do things.”

Bill grits his teeth. Open makes you vulnerable. Open gets you killed.

But he can try. For Frank, he can try.

“Ok,” he agrees.

Frank squeezes his calf and then lets him go but Bill doesn’t move away. Instead, he reaches down cautiously and puts a hand on Frank’s shoulder.

When he doesn’t shrug him off, maybe even leans into him a bit, Bill leans down before he can lose his nerve and finds Frank’s face already tilted up, waiting.

The kiss they share feels like sealing a promise.

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

That night Bill wakes to a hand fumbling for his and the sound of ragged breathing. He launches himself away automatically, throwing himself out of bed and grabbing the gun under the bed.

He frantically scans the gloom for the invading Infected. There’s a human-shaped lump sitting on the bed and he’s aiming instinctively before his sleep-slowed brain catches up.

"Jesus." Bill lets out a heavy breath, lowering the gun and swallowing the panic that threatens to turn into completely unreasonable anger at Frank. “You ok?”

Frank doesn’t reply, and that’s when Bill notices how fast his breathing his, how he barely flinched at him aiming a gun at him.

"Hey, what’s wrong?" He climbs back on the bed and only hesitates a moment before he takes Frank’s hands, concerned to find them shaking.

"Frank?" He takes hold of his face, finding tears on his cheeks which he wipes away with his thumbs but still they continue to pour. Frank’s chest is heaving with shallow gasping breaths.

"Sorry," he chokes. "Didn't mean- I-" The words fragment into sobbing breaths. Bill grabs his hand again.

“Hey, hey. You're ok. I got you” He tries to put his arms around him but Frank flinches away. Bill pulls back with his hands spread placatingly. “Ok. Sorry. Lemme- can I switch on the light?”

Frank manages to choke a “Yeah“. When their eyes have adjusted to the light, Bill only grows more concerned. Frank’s eyes are red raw like he’s been crying for a while and he’s looking at Bill like he can barely see him as he kneels on the bed again.

“Ok, you wanna tell me what’s wrong?"

Frank shakes his head vehemently. “Just-" He reaches shakily for his hands and grips them hard. "Can you just talk? Please?"

"What about?" Bill’s not the best conversationalist any time, particularly not in the middle of the night, but he'll do anything for Frank.

 "I don’t- anything- doesn't matter-"

So Bill does. To start with he talks about what he plans to do tomorrow, the bits of the fence that need repairing, the snare lines he needs to walk. But he soon realises talk of the outside world is making it worse, as Frank’s breathing speeds up more and his grip on his hands tightens.

“Shh, shh,” he tries to soothe him. “Hey, you know you asked for the recipe for that rabbit right? Why don’t I tell you that.”

So he talks through the method, trying to keep his voice calming, give Frank something to latch onto which he realises he needs, and slowly, slowly his breath calms a little. Bill settles them both against the headboard and rubs his back soothingly as the sobs ebb.

Eventually Frank turns to him and gives him a watery smile.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. You reckon you can sleep now?” There have been dark circles under Frank's eyes since Bill met him. He'd just assumed they were from the ordeal he'd been through before he got here. Now he wonders if the ordeal is still continuing for Frank. How long he'd been awake before he'd woken Bill. If there had been other times before that, when he hadn’t woken him.

"Think so," Frank says uncertainly. But when Bill flicks off the light his breathing picks up again.

"I got you," Bill murmurs, reaching over and draping an arm over him protectively, rubbing his thumb soothingly over his heart.

"Could you sing?" Frank begs.

Bill flushes, surprised. "Uh- ok?"

So he sings. It's the same song he played for Frank the first day.

It feels strange, releasing the soft tender words into the darkness, without the accompaniment of the piano. But Frank's breathing beside him gets steadier and he moves closer to him.

By the end of the song his head is resting against his chest, and Bill sings the last words softly into his ear like a lullaby.

"And I think I'm gonna love you for a long, long time."

Notes:

Comments and kudos super appreciated!!<33

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