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“They look just like me. Trust me Taurtis, you’re going to love them, they’re a great guy!” That’s what Grian had said this whole time as they walked towards his apartment. So many praises, it was a little sick.
“I think not,” Taurtis complained. “You said all they talk about is rustic houses! I didn’t even know that was a thing!?”
Grian hit him playfully, shutting him up. “I told you, they’re autistic, trust me! They have a hyperfixation on rustic houses and that’s okay!”
“You said that you summoned them. From a paper. Paper doesn’t have a brain! There is no neurological thing to take place if there are no neurons!”
“Well I think you’re just being mean,” Grian and Taurtis continued to argue on their walk to the apartment, throwing contradictions back and forth until they ended up at Grian’s apartment door.
“And you said that they-“
“Taurtis, shut up! Be nice to him, okay!? He’s really nice, you’re just being nitpicky.”
Taurtis sighed, waiting for Grian to open the door to see this individual Grian kept fighting for.
When he did…
“What…???” Taurtis had said, confusion rippling in his eyes.
The person was half inside a wall, glitching all around. Miraculously, they had broken free from that dreaded place, but were now half glitched into the floor, upside down, spinning like a flopping fish.
“Grian…” Taurtis tried to speak to him. “T… Grian, this is not autism. Your friend is a glitched out NPC.”
Grian was oblivious. “You’re not making any sense to me, Taurtis.” He walked into the room, sitting down to his glitching NPC friend in the floor. “Hey, are you doing okay?”
“Rustic house.”
“Oh, you’re such a jokester. Taurtis, come pull him out of the floor with me, will you?”
Taurtis facepalmed, letting out a long, irritated sigh of pure frustration. “Okay, fine. Fine.” Taurtis walked over, yanking the NPC out of the ground with Grian.
They suddenly glitched upwards, coming out of the floor. They looked at Taurtis, deep into his soul.
“That’s their way of saying thank you,” Grian said, patting the NPC on the back.
Taurtis let out another groan, walking away. “Grian, it’s so obvious. They are literally giving me the classic NPC stare!” Taurtis had said, turning around pointing right into their eyes. “Look! Lifeless! There are no thoughts in this guy's head!”
Grian let out a long hum, contemplating this. “Hmmmmmmmm… nah, you’re crazy. I think they’re just autistic.”
Taurtis let out grumbled curse words, rocking back and forth on his heels. “It’s… Grian! It… you… how can you not tell!?”
Grian shrugged, looking at the NPC. “Looks like your average guy to me, not an NPC.”
“Average people are NPCs in this world, Grian!”
“Hmmmm… nahhh.”
This back and forth banter between Grian and Taurtis regarding the NPC went on for a while, the NPC going towards a wall to walk against the wall. Just… walking, even though the wall obstructed them.
“Listen, how about we ask them ourselves, okay?” Grian had retorted back, walking over to the very obvious NPC. “Hey, are you autistic or an NPC?”
They turned to stare at Grian. “NPC is an acronym that stands for 'non-player character. ' It originates in games, where an NPC is a character that isn't controlled by the player themselves, and these characters usually populate the fictional world of the game. Rustic house?”
They… they literally just gave the definition of an NPC.
“Hmm… that’s pretty compelling evidence,” Grian mumbled. “Yeah, maybe they are an NPC, Taurtis.”
“I’ve been telling you that this whole time!”
“Well, yeah, but!…”
“No buts!”