Work Text:
“Stay still!”
“I will when you stop poking me!”
The medic gave out an exasperated huff. One Arthur has been on the receiving end plenty of times. That being said, the medic jerked his (still bleeding) arm and continued to dab it with the antiseptic. Arthur let out an involuntary whine, but stopped moving.
“I’ll stop poking you when you stay still. Your stitches opened, and we need to fix that before you bleed out! Now, stop being such a clotpole, and let me do my job.
“Clotpole?” Arthur felt a grin growing on his lips. “What in the world is that?”
The medic gave him a sly smirk as he cleaned the wound. Arthur feels his chest clench. Finally. Ever since Arthur was pulled out of the fray into Merlin’s tent, he has been nothing but stone cold and distant. Arthur knows he gave Merlin a fright with how bad he had looked wheeled inside. After three days of slow recovery, Merlin has still been closed off. After three days of almost being on the brink of death, Arthur has not seen a single smile from Merlin (not even the fake “I’m fine, really” smile he gives sometimes).
“It seems that you still need to catch up on your Shakespeare. What, did daddy dearest not force you to have them memorized like he did with all the other books of literature?”
Arthur throws back a laugh, but later regrets it when he feels his ribs protest. Merlin mutters something about idiots and prats and being too stubborn in taking better care of their wellbeing.
“That was just with War and Peace and you know it.”
“Yes, your father was a war snob, wasn’t he?”
“Careful there, Merlin,” Arthur teases while Merlin only smiles back. He can hear his breath hitch. God, does Merlin not know how much he loves his smile? How much he loves him?
“Ah, forgive me, Colonel Pendragon, it seems that generals can’t be war snobs. My mistake.” He pinched Arthur's uninjured arm in jest.
“Hey, careful there doctor! I’m a wounded man.” He chuckled while Merlin rolled his eyes preparing the needle to stitch back his arm.
“A big baby is more like it.” Arthur protested at that. “Oh hush up. You’re still hurt. Just...let me heal you, please.” And Arthur did.
For a while, they just sat in silence as Merlin restitched up Arthur’s arm. He didn’t even try to interrupt the medic and focused more on something better. Merlin’s face was pinched in concentration while he worked and his eyes were that brilliant blue like they always were. Their usual glow was dimmed just like the past three days, but not as much as before. Still, Arthur can’t help but feel guilty about being the reason why Merlin is so down.
“It’s not your fault,” Merlin whispers to him. Finishing up the last bit, Merlin cuts the extra thread and sits down on Arthur’s cot. “It’s not. You can’t control what the opposing side will do, so never blame yourself for this.” He’s now holding Arthur’s hands up to his chest. His voice is barely a whisper when he speaks, but Arthur can feel the firmness in it.
Again, he can feel his insides squeeze because of Merlin. His steadfast loyalty, his kind heart-- all of it feels so overwhelming sometimes, but they give Arthur the strength he didn’t know he lost. He slips one of his hands out of Merlin’s and cups the medic’s chin, rubbing his thumb across his cheek.
“You just can’t let me have anything, can you?”
Merlin smiles softly and oh, does that do something to Arthur's heart for the upteenth time.
“Of course not,” he croaks out, “can’t let your head be getting any bigger.”
They’re sitting so close that Arthur could just lean in and kiss him. He doesn’t. As much as he loves this man, Arthur doesn’t want to impose on him. Being the army’s head medic, Merlin has seen a lot of death from strangers and close friends alike, and Arthur has seen him cry for all of them, giving out his heart to each one so freely. For Arthur being one of them if he ever falls on the field, he just can’t bear the thought of it. Of Merlin having to cry for him when he couldn’t give him anything in return. No, he can’t do that to him. Best to keep it like this and save Merlin any more heartbreak.
Distance is better anyway in the long run.