Work Text:
The weeks after the arrest of Voldemort were hectic, to say the least. The Ministry was a chaotic mess, trying to obliviate everyone they could. Unfortunately, they found out pretty fast that you can't obliviate a computer, much less a database.
Voldemort’s arrest had been rather high profile too, at least in the area; it was a quiet neighborhood, and the death of an officer had happened in a haunted house. News spread fast enough that there was no way the Ministry could wipe the memory of everyone involved and take Voldemort into their own custody. And it wasn't like they could obliviate the memories of those actually involved since they needed them to testify so Voldemort could actually be put into jail.
So the Ministry settled for damage control. By that, Fudge meant to just let this blow over. There was no way anyone would think Voldemort could actually do magic. With Voldemort out of the way, he could even focus on shaping Magical Britain into his vision of the future!
Of course, there were also things to deal with on the Wizarding side of things. Namely, that Voldemort actually had been back all along. Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore went from being the laughingstock of the magical world to tragic heroes in hours.
Many people were skeptical, though. Or, well, everyone actually. Could the Muggles seriously be expected to hold possibly one of the most dangerous wizards of modern times?
That was proven to be a yes. You can't exactly use a wand if you've been shot.
Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, had a rather different view on these events. He'd been expecting Harry Potter to have to face the dark lord, and probably die in the ensuing fight, unfortunate though that may be. It was all for the greater good.
He sat forward in his chair, clasping his fingers together. This did not fit the prophecy at all… but the Muggles didn't kill Voldemort, did they? Just detain him? Which meant it was still possible that Harry truly would have to face him. Perhaps Dumbledore could bring Harry to the prison, then have them fight there? Of course, this certainly made finding Voldemort’s horcrux, or horcruxes , as he suspected, much easier.
Dumbledore was mulling over how to best go about finding these supposed pieces of soul, when he was alerted that someone was crossing into the grounds of Hogwarts.
A Muggle.
~~~
Jessica Russell set up her camera on top of the tripod. It wasn’t new at all- Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs didn’t exactly spend that much money on the surveying department- but it worked well enough. And what with that whole business with that Hudson Smith guy and the crazy murderer, the HMRC had better things to buy. She was positioned on top of a rise, and she could see the whole of the area ahead of her. The early morning sky was beautiful to behold. Jessica almost wished it was a few hours earlier; the sunrise was probably gorgeous here. The landscape was a whole lot of grass and rocks and trees, which would have made her think this whole thing was pointless, except for what maybe looked like an abandoned building at the edge of a sprawling forest.
Jessica had always been into maps and surveying. She’d always imagined it as a grand adventure, charting out new landscapes and seeing the world. Well, surveying for the department that handled the country’s taxes wasn’t exactly glamorous, but someone needed to do it. And hey, it paid the bills.
She checked the camera on its tripod again, ensuring that everything was working. Jessica didn’t want to mess anything up in her excitement to see the ruins. She looked in the camera and almost immediately jerked back.
There was a massive castle in the view! That was definitely impossible, she knew. But she looked toward where the camera was pointed anyway. All that was there was… the ruins.
What in the world...
Jessica shook her head. She wasn’t a child; she knew she wasn’t asleep (even though she pinched herself real quick just to make sure). It was just that there was a castle in the place where nothing but grass and maybe an old building should be! Jessica considered calling a superior, but no, she could figure this out herself! She just had to go down and check out the castle for herself. She finished the measurements for this area as fast as she could.
Walking to her car, Jessica had to remind herself that this was not a horror movie. Magic castles didn’t exist. Everyone knew that.
Jessica parked close to the castle, which was now only ruins again, but not too close. She grabbed her surveying things, and headed out to the ruins/castle. Huh. I think I might have left the stove off, she thought, rubbing her head as she felt a migraine come on. Which was weird, she didn’t often get migraines. No, I didn’t leave the stove on. I didn’t even use it this morning! Don’t be silly. The fact that she wanted to leave so badly was strange. Jessica knew she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to see this weird castle thing. Even if this wasn’t her job Jessica would have wanted to find out what was going on here!
Now that she noticed it, Jessica realized that this compulsion to leave almost felt like it wasn’t herself in her head. It was like the horror books she liked, a voice in your head telling you to do crazy things you never would have if you were sane.
No, Jessica, this is NOT a horror movie! Calm down! she mentally chided herself. Just ignore this, it’s probably nothing.
As she got closer, Jessica almost had to force herself to take steps forward. With every step she took, the weird voice kept telling her she had things to do, she shouldn’t be here, this was a terrible idea! But she made it to the outskirts of the property, close by to a creepy ( not a horror movie, not a horror movie ) forest. The ruins in the center were surrounded by warning signs to keep out. Well, she was sent here to survey this property, so if someone was breaking laws, it sure wouldn’t be her.
The HMRC had been busy getting old records computerized, so Jessica and the other surveyors had a lot of work going out to these old properties to determine how much taxes were owed on them. This depended on a whole lot of factors, like size and what was actually built on the land, but that wasn’t her problem. Her job was to just go out and make the measurements.
Jessica set up the camera and tripod again and cautiously looked through it. The ruins and warning signs were gone, replaced with the castle again. Jessica screamed when she saw what looked like a tentacle come out of the nearby lake. She took a breath and steeled herself. There was only one way to solve this- Jessica would have to go into the ruins and determine once and for all whether this was real or not.
The voice screamed even louder in her head to turn back, turn back , but Jessica had read enough to know not to listen to it. By the time she reached what she guessed would be close to the edge of the castle, she could barely move her legs forward. She took one more step, and promptly smacked into an invisible wall. Rubbing her head, she managed to take her camera and point it at whatever she had bumped into. Sure enough, there was a wall of worn stone. She ran her hand over it and could feel every crack like it was there.
Jessica sort of wondered whether this was some weird military base that was camouflaged, but quickly shook that thought out of her head when she remembered that she also worked for the government.
Jessica desperately wanted to leave this place, but her curiosity forced her to stay. She just had to figure this out. Well, that meant there was only one thing left to do- find the door and ask them just what was going on here. She kept her eye on her camera as she walked to make sure that she wasn’t going to bump into any walls.
The weird part was that the place looked almost inhabited . The grass was yellowed and flattened in places that made makeshift paths, there was the occasional piece of trash on the ground (but that really didn’t mean anything, to be fair), and when she swept the lens up, she saw that the castle was lit from within. Jessica clung close to the wall until she came across a massive door. She took a few deep breaths and gathered all of her confidence. Then she knocked on the door.
To Jessica’s surprise, she only needed to knock once before the door opened and an old woman wearing what was like a cross between pajamas, a bathrobe, and a dress stood in front of her. Something about her intimidated Jessica, which was probably why the owners of this place sent her. Jessica wasn’t sure if she should be glad that the woman wasn’t obviously a vampire, or be nervous because she had no idea who this woman was that was hiding in an incredibly camouflaged castle.
Jessica instinctively brought the camera down to greet the woman, but when she did, the woman vanished, only to be replaced by ruins again. Jessica quickly brought the camera to her eye again, not wanting to be ambushed or something by the strange woman.
“Hi!” she said before the woman, who was frowning at her, could accuse her of trespassing. “My name is Jessica Russell, a surveyor with the HMRC. I’ve been hired to survey this, uh, castle? Or the land around it?” She shook her head, not wanting to make an even worse impression. “Um, yeah. I’m not trespassing or anything, I swear! I’ve got my ID here with me, oh, but you probably want to know why this land is being surveyed right? Wait, you wouldn’t happen to be the owner of this property, would you?” she babbled.
The woman put up a hand. Jessica got the feeling that she was used to this.
“That is enough, Ms. Russell. My name is Minerva McGonagall. The owner of this property, Headmaster Dumbledore, would like to speak to you. I shall escort you inside.” With that, Minerva turned inside, obviously expecting Jessica to follow.
“Wow, this place is neat!” she chirped, bringing the camera around to get every detail of the halls. They reminded her of a medieval castle from a movie she’d seen. “So, you said that the owner is a headmaster? Is this some kind of school?” Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw a few children, also in weird bathrobes/pajamas/dresses, scurry past.
Minerva sighed. “Yes, this is a school. However, as our guest, this running of our institution does not concern you.” Wow, what a fancy way to tell her to shut up and stop talking about this.
“Oh, well that’s okay. I’m just really interested in how I can’t seem to see this place without my camera! How do you see, anyway?” Jessica brought the camera up to Minerva’s face. “Do you have cameras in your eyes? Is this like that school from the X-Men? Or a secret military base? You can tell me, I work for the government too,” she added, fully knowing that just because she was employed by the government didn’t mean she was privy to every detail. Still, maybe Minerva would tell her something anyway. It was worth asking!
Clearly, Minerva didn’t care for this line of questioning. “Professor Dumbledore will answer your questions,” she said, pausing in front of what looked like a gargoyle. Didn’t vampires have gargoyles in their castles? Maybe this was a vampire school. “I must ask that you be respectful and answer his questions honestly.”
Jessica just had time to blurt out, “Wait, aren’t you supposed to be answering my questions?” before Minerva said, “Acid pop,” and the gargoyle moved. This time, Jessica was able to hold in her scream. They walked onto an escalator, and Minerva knocked once on the door at the top before opening it.
“Albus, this is the Muggle. Shall I stay?”
The door opened up into a fancy office with a lot of weird devices that made Jessica’s head hurt. Literally.
Sitting at a desk was an old man with a beard that severely needed to be trimmed. He was wearing robes too, but his were brightly colored. He looked like what Jessica imagined Gandalf from the Lord of the Rings to look like.
“No, thank you. I do apologize for taking you away from your free period,” the man said with a smile. His blue eyes were twinkling in a way that convinced Jessica he must be wearing contacts. No way his eyes looked like that naturally.
Minerva nodded and walked out, leaving Jessica with rip-off Gandalf.
“Hello, I am Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. Would you care for a lemon drop?” Jessica was a bit taken aback; she'd expected to be questioned about why she was here.
“Sure, I guess. I'm Jessica Russell,” she said, reaching for the offered candy. Dumbledore looked pleased. “What did you want to talk about? I can get the documents about your property if you like, oh, but you'll probably need them anyway since I don't actually think your really cool castle is even registered.” She popped the lemon drop in her mouth. It tasted, well, like a perfectly normal lemon drop.
Dumbledore laughed. “I assure you, that won't be a problem.” His eyes were twinkling again. Seriously, how did he do that? “Of course, it wouldn’t do for our conversation to be done in between a camera.” He took out a cool looking stick and pointed it at her. There was a flash of light and she felt a vague itchiness behind her eyes. Her peripheral vision changed to match the office. Jessica cautiously brought the camera down and found she could see.
“Thanks!” Jessica said brightly. “So what’s the deal with this place, anyway? What did you do with the stick? How… how is any of this happening anyway? Oh, and are you related to anyone named Gandalf?”
Dumbledore smiled at her in a way he probably imagined was grandfatherly. She’d bet it worked on the kids in this school too. “Like I said, I am the headmaster of this school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where we teach magic-”
“No way! You’re joking right?” The headmaster shook his head. “Oh my god, you’re teacher Gandalf, aren’t you?” she breathed.
“I apologize, Ms. Russell, but I’m afraid I don’t know a Gandalf.”
“Darn. So you’re telling me that magic is real, but hobbits aren’t?”
Dumbledore laughed. She wasn’t sure what was so funny. “You’re taking this remarkably well. I would be happy to answer your questions later, but I have some for you first. How did you manage to find Hogwarts?” He seemed a lot more serious than he was when was offering her a lemon drop. Jessica’s first thought was that maybe she shouldn’t have accepted candy from a stranger. Her second thought was that this man was definitely a politician. She sat up a little straighter.
“Like I said, I’m a surveyor for the HMRC. I was assigned to take a look at this property to determine how much you owe in taxes. Oh, here, I can show you the data if you like.” She grabbed her clipboard from her bag and turned it around so Dumbledore could see the measurements.
“It’s not my job, but this land plot is really big. You owe quite a lot of money. When was the last time you paid your taxes?”
“Like I said, it will not be a problem. I take it you managed to see the castle through your camera?” When Jessica nodded, he leaned back a bit. “Hmm. That makes sense, you aren’t seeing it directly, so light rays aren’t directly passing through your eyes…” he muttered.
“Oh! Like a periscope?”
“Yes, exactly. We may have to edit the wards to make that impossible, but how?” Dumbledore returned his attention to her. “That’s a problem for later. Speaking of wards, you not only saw Hogwarts but you got through our Muggle repelling spells. That is… very impressive.”
“What’s a Muggle?” Dumbledore sighed.
“A person without magic, such as you. I really am curious how you are even close to the area. Did you not feel as if you should leave or that you had something else to do?”
“You mean that voice in my head?” Jessica snorted. “Like I’m going to listen to ghosts. That's like, the number one rule of horror movies. Except for going upstairs, I guess.”
Dumbledore looked impressed. “So you crossed the repelling spell… by ignoring it?”
“I guess. I mean, it was almost like it was hard to move at the end, but I really wanted to find out what the deal was with your magic castle. Oh, and it's also my job.”
“I see. I suppose that's what happens when you rely on spells cast in the 1600s?” Jessica shrugged.
“One more question.” Dumbledore looked at her intently. His eyes weren't sparkling anymore (which Jessica realized was probably magic and not contacts). “Do you know anything about the arrest of a man named Tom Riddle?”
“Oh sure, it was all over the news. He's that crazy man who killed that cop after committing tax evasion, right?”
Dumbledore nodded solemnly. “We are fortunate you have been able to hold him this long.”
“Wait. Riddle’s magic too?”
“I'm afraid so. The Dark Lord Voldemort-”
“Seriously? Voldemort ? That's a stupid name.” Dumbledore looked tired and somewhat annoyed.
“Yes, but he is also the most feared wizard of the century. And you know nothing else of him?”
“No? Go read the news and you'll know as much as I do.”
Dumbledore nodded and put his faux grandfatherly smile back on. “Thank you for your time, Ms. Russell. Unfortunately, you will not remember this conversation.” He pointed his wand at her and again she felt the itchy feeling behind her eyes. The castle was gone again.
She barely heard a voice say, “ Obliviate !” before she leaned down to grab her camera. Dumbledore looked tired and sad.
“It would be much easier if you didn't dodge. Your forgetting of this place is for the greater good. Obliviate !”
Jessica ducked and ran to the door, yanking on the handle. “HELP! I’M LOCKED IN HERE WITH A SERIAL KILLER-”
The door burst open and Minerva walked in. “Albus, did you need me to escort- ahhh!”
The light from the Memory Charm hit Minerva face on. “Albus, what…”
Jessica took the chance to run, but before she could reach the bottom of the stairs, her arms and legs stuck together and she fell. Okay, so this definitely was a horror story. I’m going to die here and no one is going to know where I am…
Jessica took as deep a breath as she could. Dumbledore walked over to her, his hand on Minerva’s shoulder.
“Wait! Don't hurt me! I swear, I was just doing my job, there’s really no reason to do any-”
“Ms. Russell, I simply am just going to wipe your memory of our meeting. Muggles can not know of our world.”
“So… so make me sign a non-disclosure agreement!”
“Excuse me?” Dumbledore’s wand drooped.
“Yeah, I'd sign it and then I legally couldn't talk about it. Anyway, who would believe me? Magic being real? I can hardly believe it myself…
He flicked his wand and Jessica prepared for the worst. But instead, her arms and legs came free.
“Alright. We can make a magic contract if you wish. This is highly irregular, so know that I am making an exception for you.”
“Thank you, I really appreciate it. I swear, no one will hear a word of this.”
Dumbledore smiled sadly at her as they walked back to the office. “With how you reacted to the Muggle Repelling Charm, I’m not sure the Memory Charm will even have much of an effect on you. You seem quite resistant to magic, Ms. Russell.”
Jessica was escorted out of the castle by Dumbledore himself after signing a piece of yellowed paper with a literal quill and ink that glowed faintly after she used it. She was pretty sure that even if she wanted to, she wouldn't be able to breathe a word of the magical world to anyone. Dumbledore was definitely a politician.
A magical world… right in front of her eyes. It was everything she'd ever dreamed of, yet nothing like she'd ever thought of.
~~~
It was about a month later when a group of Muggles came to the property. They were promptly Obliviated and sent away.
The next group came with infrared goggles and cameras and walked up to the castle demanding to be let in. They were Obliviated by the staff and walked away in confusion.
The third group came a few days later.
The fourth group brought recording cameras.
The fifth was a large group, equipped with bulletproof vests.
“Albus Dumbledore, open up or we’re coming in!”
Dumbledore was sure that the contract with Jessica Russell had closed any loopholes. So how did these Muggles know to come here?
It didn't take him too long to realize that Jessica must have had to file a report. A report that suggested the land had more than it seemed, one that listed Albus Dumbledore as the owner of the property.
Dumbledore walked outside. This time, he knew that the recording devices would record any trace of magic. The last group of Muggles had almost been able to breach the Statue of Secrecy, and he couldn't let that happen again. A subtle spell wouldn't work either because as it turned out, magic showed up on infrared.
“Welcome. I am Albus Dumbledore. How can I help you?”
“Mr. Dumbledore, you owe a large fine for tax evasion. We’re going to have to bring you in.” the one in the front said.
“I'm sorry, but I will not be going anywhere. I can, however, pay you here?”
The man who had spoken shook his head. “No can do. We need to bring you into the office to file your report. Maybe you should have realized you'd have to leave your cushy castle before you committed tax evasion?”
Dumbledore was in a bind here. He didn't own any Muggle money, and couldn't pay in Galleons. But he also couldn't cast magic because of the cameras.
“I’ll come right away. Allow me to get my coat?”
The man in the front glanced behind him, then looked back and nodded. Once he was inside, Dumbledore conjured a coat and his best approximation of Muggle money in a briefcase.
“Lead on,” he said, smiling.
They led him to a car and he got in, still smiling. The driver turned around. “Sir, can you buckle your seatbelt?” Dumbledore glanced down. He wasn't used to riding in a car since he usually Apparated.
“Yes, of course.”
The driver laughed. “Wouldn't want you getting arrested for not having your seatbelt on, would we?” The ride was probably shorter than it felt, but the music featuring loud drums and truly awful rapping surely didn’t help. The Muggles formed a tight group around Dumbledore as they walked into a building, directing him to a seat.
Another Muggle in a suit was sitting in front of a monitor. “Mr. Dumbledore, you have been avoiding paying your taxes for quite a while now. You owe us all of that, plus a 5,000 pound fine.”
“Ah, but I have the money right here!” Dumbledore opened the briefcase to show off clean stacks of notes.
The Muggle picked up a bill and examined it, shaking his head. “Sir, this is clearly a fake.” He nodded to another nearby Muggle.
“I assure you, these are quite real-”
“You do realize we have anti-counterfeit measures, right? You didn't do a very good job making these. Did you actually think this would work in the department that makes this money?”
The other Muggle walked up to Dumbledore. “Albus Dumbledore, you are under arrest for tax evasion and attempting to use counterfeit money.” He was handcuffed before he could even reach for his wand. No wonder Voldemort got caught so easily.
~~~
Dumbledore had never been to a jail. Now though, he didn't have much choice. The cell was small and he missed the feeling of wearing robes. Still, he was grateful for the time he got to spend outside every day.
He walked outside, feeling the breeze. His wand had been confiscated, and powerful though he was, he still needed a wand to channel his magic. So here he was, stuck. Minerva had taken over as headmistress while he was the laughingstock of the Wizarding world again. At least Voldemort was just as stuck as he was. So a net positive.
Dumbledore was confident that he would be able to get away without charges during his trial, which would likely be scheduled soon. He wasn't sure how he was going to explain his disappearing castle and loss of memory… Perhaps if he got some people on the inside to help him? It would certainly be possible.
He would just have to wait and plan.
There were other prisoners around him too. Dumbledore did not pay much attention to them until his eyes landed on a familiar serpentine face.
Voldemort. Just his luck, the Dark Lord was in the same jail he was.
Dumbledore couldn't get out of here soon enough.