Work Text:
"I'm tired of your insolence," a girl snarled as Leonard entered his and Sheldon's apartment. "I challenge you to a witches' duel, Hecate the Two-Faced!"
He closed the door and beelined for his room, making sure to go behind the couch—Sheldon had skewered him more than once. "Anime?"
Sheldon's scoffs loudened in tandem with screaming as Leonard dropped his bag and emerged into the living room. "You've already forgotten The Good Witch Azura? I attended Azura Book Club last week!"
"Sorry I don't get as into things." Leonard turned to the flashing TV; a girl in a white and purple hat and robes was dodging an aptly two-faced Hecate. "Why are they fighting?"
"Azura said why, but I'll tell you again." Sheldon paused the show and entered his "ramble pose", clasping his hands and sitting ramrod straight. "Hecate enrolled in Witchling Academy a few weeks ago—in the third episode, to be precise. She hasn't told the Witchlings she's Pluto's mole, but her behaviour's irritated Azura regardless." Sounds familiar, Leonard grumbled to himself. "Azura's frustration boils at the Bog of Immediate Regret and... well..." Sheldon gestured to the TV, frozen on Azura blasting a spell from her staff.
"She challenges Hecate to a witches' duel." Cartoons were never complex. Why Sheldon wasn't watching Doctor Who? Surely there were unseen episodes among its hundreds? Leonard went to the fridge to get something to eat. "Sounds fun. Did you seriously—"
Sheldon whipped around. "Did I seriously what?"
Why couldn't Sheldon be shorter? His intense gaze burned Leonard to ashes! Leonard exhaled and put down a Styrofoam chow mein container. "Did you seriously leave early to watch this?"
Sheldon narrowed his eyes, beaming lasers that vaporized Leonard's remains. "I most certainly did not! Not with my work, which I remind you is more valuable." Leonard ignored Sheldon's smirk and grabbed a fork from the cutlery drawer. He wasn't in the mood to argue—teaching days were exhausting. "My exchange assignment needed completing and Caltech conveniently banned AO3."
Because of you, Leonard ached to say. Man was obsessive! "Exchange?" he asked instead.
"A fanfiction exchange. I received a wonderful Azura request. Their ships are mine and their prompts are to die for! I'm 99% confident they'll love it." Sheldon gripped his chin and frowned. "The 1% is the off chance I've created a DNW." Ships, assignments, DNWs... Sometimes Leonard felt he'd been beamed with Captain Kirk. "Perhaps you'd like Azura ingrained in your memory." Perhaps you'd like to bond for once, Leonard pretended Sheldon left unsaid. He chuckled. Probably a scenario like this in his stories.
"What the hell." Leonard brought his fork and food to the couch. He couldn't spill any—even his own cereal messes made Sheldon tetchy. "Can I read your story? I need to relax."
Sheldon smiled. "Very good! No way in hell," he said as if Leonard had committed a sin. "I cannot reveal writing during the anonymous period."
"We live together!"
Sheldon walked to the TV and ejected the DVD player, denying Leonard a kickass fight. (It had to be with Azura that angry!) "And we won't resume 'Immediate Regret'—it'd be like dropping you in the middle of The Empire Strikes Back." A continuity overload, in other words. Leonard nodded. "Instead we'll watch something newcomer-friendly..."
***
"The Thorn Vault worked," Leonard said as the credits rolled. "I can't believe it worked!"
"You're far from the first to say that—my Good Witch Garden post was upvoted out the wazoo." Sheldon grimaced and paused the movie. "Horrible decision to play a pop song! They fought a basilisk, for God's sake!" It was as kickass as Leonard imagined Azura and Hecate's duel was. He quivered to watch the series proper.
He leaned back and sighed. "Grudgby, man. Fucking insane! Did you notice..." Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "Just before they cut from the locker room, Azura and Hecate..."
"I don't understand," Sheldon said. Leonard boggled. In a kids' show?
Leonard squeezed his curls. "They were eyeing each other undressing! Doesn't that imply—"
"I was being sarcastic. I'll never ship Hezura." Sheldon raised a finger as Leonard scoffed. "Not for the reasons you think! I find Azura has more chemistry with Jules."
"Oh," Leonard murmured. The smart, schlubby mess and the airheaded beauty. If those characters worked... "Think Penny would like this?"
"Perhaps. It targets those of her intelligence, which also means jokes going over her head." Leonard just about screamed. Why was Sheldon a frustrating man? "I'll ask once she returns from her shift."
"No you won't!" The way Sheldon talked to people, especially her? He knocked thrice on Leonard's mental door. Azura. Azura? Azura? "Let me do it."
Sheldon grinned slyly. "You want this to be a date."
Leonard's eyes widened. "Yeah! How did you... Let me guess," he looked down and groaned. "You read it in—"
"'Evicted' by TuragaDume! Azura and Hecate are trapped in a mundane Realm and survive by growing closer. I should check for a new chapter," Sheldon said as Leonard covered his face. "Though I dislike Hezura, it was incredibly cathartic. It's been on hiatus a year, but if I'm persistent... Would you like sex tips?" he asked as he exchanged The Good Witch Azura 2: Field of the Deadly Fates for The Good Witch Azura: The Complete First Season. "The things this fandom writes and draws..."
"I don't want to hear about teenagers fucking," a red Leonard croaked. "Play the first episode!"
"Prude," Sheldon crossed his arms and scoffed. He inserted the DVD and closed the cover and bounded back to his spot. "Keep an open mind. Things don't heat up until 'The Good Witch's Familiar'..."
Leonard gathered some popcorn and stuffed it in his mouth. His mind was split like Narcissus's in "Pluto's Five-Way Revenge": part enjoyed the gluttony, part found Azura adorable, part wondered whether he'd be as awkward around Penny, and part was glad Sheldon wasn't just a roommate. Irritating students had their benefits.