Chapter Text
February 8th, 2008
Sophomore year
The cool February air whistled through the little clearing the boys had found. Just two best friends fucking around, Sam, who stole his dad’s truck and cigarettes for this, and Grian, who came to Sam for dating advice and a good time.
“Shut up, Sam! I’m not gonna tell you who they are!” Grian giggled, giving his best friend a light shove. He needed advice on how to ask someone out, and Sam already had a girlfriend. Yuki was pretty, there was no denying that. But Grian had his eyes set on a much taller, much prettier, ravenette.
Sam turned towards Grian, firmly placing his hands on the other’s shoulders. “Listen. It’d help at least a bit unless you have a crush on like, the celebs on fucking Hermitcraft.”
Grian’s mind raced with thoughts of his crush. He felt like an idiot, but every word his best friend spoke seemed to be a constant reminder of them.
Their voice, their smile, their laugh — Void, Grian was head over heels for them.
The way they’d always run their hands through their hair while talking to him.
The look in their eyes whenever they found anything pretty to give to him.
The sound of their voice whenever they sang or talked to him.
The way their lips would look on his.
What was that last one again?
Grian sat with his legs dangling off of the edge of the truck bed, bare feet just barely grazing the surface of the water. He placed a hand on his cheek, grinning like an idiot and staring off into Void-knows-where.
Sam’s hand moved in front of his face, fingers quite literally snapping him back to reality.
“Hello? Grian? Lover-boy? Sappy little bitch? You there?” Sam called as if Grian was a million worlds away. Grian blinked a few times, trying to focus on reality instead of his little fantasies. Sam slung an arm around Grian's shoulders, acting as if he was a movie director telling the shorter he was about to change his life for the better. “I’m gonna get you to tell me who they are,” Sam teased. Grian blushed, hiding his face from Sam. The older boy pushed further, grabbing Grian and threatening to throw him into the lake. He wouldn't do it, of course, but the threat was there.
“C’mon, fess up. What’s their name?” The pair laughed as Sam talked, Sam plopping Grian down on the cool metal beside him and tickling him. Grian kicked his shoes off, attempting to grab them from behind him to hit Sam off with.
“Oh no! My annoying best friend is trying to get me to tell him who the kid I have a crush on is right next to a perfectly deep lake! Whatever will I do?” Grian himself didn't look strong, he had thin arms and a tiny waist, but he could throw Sam at least three feet. And he made that known, picking the other up and not letting go.
Sam gave up on his teasing, making a further agreement with Grian. “Twenty questions. If I can’t guess them in twenty questions, you don't have to tell me. But if I do,” Grian slapped a hand on Sam’s arm, glaring.
Guess the secrets wouldn't be kept tonight, after all.
Sam continued his sentence, “If I do, I’m helping you set up an elaborate way to ask them out. And I’ll make it hard as fuck for them to say no.” Grian nodded, a smug smile forming on his face.
Sam’s grades were shit, he couldn't possibly have the mental capacity to ask good questions.
“Is blue their favorite color?” Grian heard Sam say from next to him.
Well.
Shit.
Grian reluctantly nodded, rolling his eyes as Sam cheered with his hands in the air. “Okay, Loverboy Incorporated. Next question.” Sam smiled through the questions, teasing Grian as much as he could while asking them.
“Is their name Taurtis?” Sam teased, quirking an eyebrow and leaning closer to Grian for effect.
Well.
Shit.
Grian threw his hands in the air in defeat, hopping out of the truck and leaving. It didn't take him long to come back, but it was funny at that moment. Sam stood up, yelling the stupid song we’d all sung as little kids.
“GRIAN AND TAURTIS, SITTING IN A TREE. K-I-S-S-I-N-”
Sam didn’t brace himself for the slap across his face. Grian plopped his ass right next to Sam, leaning on the side of the truck bed for support. “It’s just a stupid little crush. I don’t even think he likes guys,” Grian pouted, clearly annoyed. Sam rolled his eyes. “Oh please. He does theater,” He turned towards Grian, swinging his legs over the others.
“Please, can you take this at least a bit seriously?” Grian crossed his arms, an annoyed expression on his face.
Sam pat Grian on the head, wrapping his arms around the other protectively.
“Aww! My baby’s all grown up!” Sam cooed, placing his hands on Grian’s cheeks. Grian kicked the taller off of him, making various sounds of disgust at the other. When he was finally out of Sam’s grasp, he shot him the look, raising his middle finger for dramatic effect. He wasn’t necessarily mad at all the teasing, he knew Sam couldn't poke fun at him enough to stop him from liking Taurtis.
Sam raised his arms in defeat, hopping out of the truck to pull Grian back into the front seats. He pulled the car keys out of his pocket, putting the car in drive.
“Alright, Loverboy, let’s get you a bitch.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
February 10th, 2008
Sophomore year
Grian was…contemplating his life choices, to say the least. Sam collapsed on his bed, red glitter, and way too many cardboard boxes scattered around his dorm.
The pair were planning a very elaborate way for Grian to ask Taurtis out. The plan was for all of their friends and friends-of-friends to be on board, drag Taurtis into the middle of whatever blob they’d all conformed into, step aside, and let Grian do the talking.
Grian was not happy that this plan happened to include lots of glitters. Or him in a skirt.
Still, he powered through the mild dysphoria and thought about what would happen if Taurtis did say ‘yes’.
Where would they go on their first date? Who’d initiate their first kiss?
Void, since when, was liking someone in high school so hard?
Grian collapsed against the wall, tossing aside the outfit he’d been working on putting together and opening a pack of gum.
Strawberry. Taurtis’ favorite.
Grian almost laughed about the ironic symbolism. He’d haphazardly thrown the gum into his shopping cart while he and Sam were out shopping for craft supplies and shitty drinks.
The more he thought about it, he was excited. The thrill and suspense of wondering if he’d say yes.
The suspense of knowing if his little crush liked him back.
Fuck, Grian couldn’t wait until next Thursday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
February 13th, 2008
Sophomore year
And now on-
Grian shut his car radio off, gripping the red lanyard he’d attached to the keys of his car.
Tomorrow, he’d promised himself. Valentine’s Day.
He strolled into the small coffee shop, scooting into the table that Sam and Dom had already found. It was a nice place, vines cascading over wooden walls, and dim lighting making the place seem homey. A great escape from whatever the fuck his and his friends’ lives were at this point.
He’d gotten into a knife fight over his last partner, and they left him. He was hoping he wouldn’t fuck it up that bad this time.
“So Grian, Taurtis, eh?” Dom asked, a knowing grin on his face. Grian glared at Sam, the older responding with a nervous look. He may be short and pretty but Grian’s glare could kill someone
He sighed, placing his head on the table. “Yeah.”
“Taurtis.”
“I really like him.”
Grian felt his face heat up at the confession, and he was most definitely bright red. But he couldn't shut down his feelings if he tried.
Something in him wanted to tell the world how much he loved this boy, how much he hoped Taurtis loved him like that.
Fuck, Grian hoped Taurtis would say yes.
He’d seen the way the kids in his classes looked at him. Ellen, even though they broke up with his ass a year ago. They still thought he was cute. Silly still liked him even when he was struggling. It’s not like he didn't know he was pretty. Hell, Grian used that as an advantage.
No matter how much he still looked like her, no matter how hard he tried to look like someone else, he knew she tried to look pretty.
And she succeeded.
And he thanked her for that.
But she died years ago, and Grian was ready to make that known.
He wasn’t that girl anymore.
“Yo. Grian. You there?” Sam asked. He was on the phone with his girlfriend and Dom had left, probably to finish all the assignments he had overdue. Void, Grian was hopeless.
“Let's go back to mine, alright? You can pick up the outfit for tomorrow and stop spacing out about your boy, okay?” Sam placed a hand on Grian’s shoulder, placing his empty coffee cup on the table. Grian hadn’t touched the croissant he’d ordered, and at this point, Sam wasn't sure if it was because of his crush or something else. You never could tell with Grian.
Grian smiled weakly, throwing his drink and food in the garbage while walking to the door of the cafe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Valentine’s Day, 2008 (we’re gonna pretend they have advanced phones because i wrote too much involving them)
Sophomore year
Being a trans guy, you’d think Grian would know at least something about skirts.
But being a trans guy since the age of eight meant he hardly ever put them on himself.
Sam was waiting outside. He could help with this shit.
“Sam, can you like, crawl under the fucking stall or something?” Grian asked, panicked. He hoped he and Sam were the only ones in the bathroom.
“Grian, why the hell would I do that? Aren’t you like, naked?” he answered.
Now Grian really hoped he and Sam were the only ones in the bathroom.
“We’re both men. You’ll be fine.”
“Grian, you have a pussy.”
“Please don’t remind me.”
Sam rolled his eyes, crawling under the stall to assist Grian in his efforts. Grian was in fact, not naked, but he wasn’t far from it. “Can you zip this shit please?” he asked. Sam followed, grabbing the zipper on his skirt and pulling it up as much as he could.
Up until it got stuck at about Grian’s hip.
“Can you, like, suck in or something? I can’t get it up,” Sam said, pulling on the zipper almost hard enough to break it. Grian muttered something unintelligible under his breath.
“What’d you say? I couldn’t hear you,” the other spoke again.
“I said ‘That’s what she said,’ you incompetent motherfucker.” Grian rolled his eyes, gripping the zipper with both of his hands, and tried to help Sam pull it up.
“It’s stuck because of the fucking glitter, you moron.”
“Can we safety-pin it or something? I’m trying to help you get bitches, not sit with you in a bathroom stall for an hour,” Sam whispered through his teeth.
“Where the fuck would I get safety pins?”
“I dunno?! I’ll call Yuki or something!” Sam fumbled for his phone, reaching around Grian to have enough arm space to do so. He clicked his girlfriend’s contact, hit the call button, and waited. Grian tried zipping the skirt again but to no avail. Instead, he bumped Sam’s phone, turning it on speaker and almost knocking it to the ground.
“Shit,” Sam mumbled. “Grian, it’s not gonna work. It won’t zip,” he said. It took a second for Yuki to pick up, but Grian was glad she did.
Grian was also glad she was on speaker.
“Hey, sweetheart! Do you want me to meet you in the bathroom? Give you a piece of this ass?” Yuki cooed over the phone. Grian burst out laughing, grabbing the stall wall for support. Sam’s face immediately went red, turning the call volume down as fast as he could. Grian continued laughing, hardly hearing what Sam was saying, and collapsing into a puddle on the floor. Grian’s words slurred together as he let out a sort of high-pitched scream, still in hysterics after what he heard.
“Grian, you heard nothing,” Sam picked him up off the ground as he spoke.
“Does your little sweetheart have what we need?” Grian teased, a hint of concern in his voice. He only had so much time before his entire class would be out in the hall, waiting for him to ask Taurtis out.
Moments later, Grian heard a knock on the stall and saw a box of safety pins slid under the door. He grabbed them, opening the box and pulling the safety pins out one by one. He didn’t need many; the skirt didn’t rise that high above his waist, but he needed enough to keep the skirt on.
He pinned it as much as he needed to, ushering Sam out of the stall and throwing off his sweater.
Thank Void for skin-colored binders.
The top Sam had chosen didn’t leave enough to the imagination in Grian’s book. It was cut just below his sternum, with flowy sleeves and white lace at the bottom. Not the most comfortable, but if Taurtis liked it, he did. He threw on his jacket, unlocking the stall and fixing his outfit in the mirror. Sam cleared his throat from beside him. “Damn,” he whispered. Grian pulled a tube of lipstick out of his pocket and shakily applied it to his lips. He was nervous, there was no doubt about it.
Fuck, he hoped Taurtis said yes.
Grian checked his watch.
Twenty seconds.
Fifteen.
Ten.
Five.
Tick, Tick, Tick.
Three seconds.
Two.
One.
The bell rang.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Valentine’s Day, 2008
Sophomore year
Grian saw the crowd forming in the hall. Fuck, why was Sam such a good wingman. The boy in question placed a hand on Grian’s shoulder, shoving him into the crowd. “Go get him, Tiger.”
Grian snatched the small poster board out of Sam’s hand, holding it close to his chest. It was cut into a heart shape, painted pale yellow. It read “Be my highschool sweetheart?” in the same font as those candy hearts. He crossed his arms over it, watching Dom guide a blindfolded Taurtis into the center of the circle. Sam shoved Grian into the circle with him, and Grian heard a collective audible gasp, probably about his outfit. Dom winked at Grian, untying Taurtis’ blindfold and letting it fall to the ground.
Grian watched Taurtis’ face flush bright red, a grin forming as he read the message on his sign. He grabbed Grian by the hand, bringing him closer. “Yes I will,” he whispered to no one but Grian. “Yes I will.”
Their foreheads met, and Grian could swear he felt his heart skip a few beats. A hand cupped his cheek, wristbands grazing the tip of his chin.
He felt the sounds around him quiet, face growing hot as he wrapped his arms around Taurtis’ neck.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Sam led the chanting, and Grian would’ve rolled his eyes if it didn't ruin the moment. He stared unblinking into Taurtis’ eyes. The chanting continued like a broken record in the background, and Taurtis tilted Grian’s chin up.
“May I?”
Grian nodded, closing his eyes and shoving his lips against the other’s.
Nothing mattered.
Not in that moment.
Nothing but Taurtis and Grian and their lips were on eachother’s and holy fuck Taurtis tasted good.
Strawberry gum. The taste Grian had grown to love over the past few days.
He felt a hand on the back of his thigh, Taurtis tapping it and telling him to jump. Grian tightened his grip around Taurtis’ neck and jumped into his arms, legs hooking around his waist.
The class fucking screamed.
He knew several people were recording. He didn’t give a shit.
Until he heard a whistle blow.
And the kiss ended just as abruptly as it started, Taurtis lowering Grian to the ground and letting him go. They looked towards the click-clack of heels coming towards them.
Oh fuck.
~~~~~~~
“You are both young men who know better than this,” Dr. Windolf spoke, the sound of her voice like venom in the pair’s ears. She was the principal of Akademi High, and Grian hated her with a passion. It wasn’t Grian’s first rodeo in detention, and it wasn’t Taurtis’ either. Still, Grian toyed with the lace on his shirt, one hand in Taurtis’.
“What on earth is this?” Dr. Windolf vaguely gestured to Grian’s outfit. “Boys can’t wear skirts!”
“Anyone can wear what they want. Grian’s okay,” Taurtis said, grabbing Grian’s hand and intertwining it with his own.
“Whatever this is, it’s not my main problem. We don’t support that kind of activity at this school.”
“You don’t call out straight couples! Why can’t we have a nice Valentine’s Day and they can?” Grian fired back. Taurtis held his hand tighter, probably a warning. He’d probably get them into deeper trouble. It’s not like Grian cared at this point.
Dr. Windolf’s voice turned sour. “We absolutely do not encourage any of this-'' she vaguely gestured to their hands in eachothers and the smudged lipstick on Taurtis’ cheek, “-at our school. Children like you are destroying our school’s image.”
No.
She didn’t mean-
Did she?
Grian’s lip quivered, on the brink of tears. He stood up, grabbing the plush of Taurtis’ thigh to urge him to do the same. He stayed sitting, a scared look on his face.
“You don’t know shit about children like me.” Grian spat through his teeth.
“Inappropriate language young man!”
“I don’t care!”
“I can’t call your parents, but with this behavior you’ll end up just like them.” And that broke him. He couldn’t keep it together. He slumped into Taurtis’ lap in a sobbing heap.
Taurtis grabbed him by the waist, pulling him close. “You can’t say things like that! You don’t know the shit he’s been through!”
The screams.
The cries.
The breaking of glass, the arguing, the fighting.
The smell of sex and alcohol on his father’s clothes.
The way his mother held him for the last time, bloody and bruised.
“I tried so fucking hard to love you and give you the life I wanted. Your father didn’t let me, and-” she seemed to be checking behind her for his father- “I have to send you away.
“I love you so much, Gemma.”
She died when Grian transitioned.
“I always will.”
Grian watched his father kill his mother.
So much blood.
So much fucking blood.
And so Grian ran, and ran, and never looked back.
He boarded the bus with nothing.
She was nothing.
He was nothing.
And Grian tried his hardest to forget.
~~~
He laid there shaking, positioned in Taurtis’ lap. The other stared daggers into Dr. Windolf’s eyes as she lectured the two of them. Her words faded as he cried into Taurtis’ chest, silently letting the tears flow. All he wanted was to be happy. Why did everyone have to go and fuck things up for him?
“You don’t know what it’s like for him,” Taurtis seethed. His voice was laced with venom and an icy cold tone Grian had never heard before. Hell, it was almost scary.
But Taurtis cared. That’s what mattered. He took his headphones off of his neck and slid them over Grian’s ears, playing one of his favorite songs to help calm him down.
And without looking up, he heard Dr. Windolf storm off, heels click-clacking against the tiled floor.
Grian wasn’t even following the argument, but he was thankful for Taurtis standing up for him. He slumped against the other’s chest. He let out a mumbled thank you as his breathing calmed down.
He was glad Taurtis was there for him.
Fuck, he loved the man.
And so he let Taurtis carry him out of the office and all the way to his dorm as the bell rang.
They’d stay in tonight.
That sounded nice.
The pair needed a rest day anyway.
And Grian slept the best he had in ages, Taurtis’ body wrapped around his, strong arms around his waist.
He felt lips pressed to his temple, and he heard something unintelligible that sounded a lot like “I love you.”
Because they did.
Grian and Taurtis.
Grian and Taurtis loved each other.