Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He stands in the void, hearing only a fuzzy noise around him and when he's about to leave, a strange, sharp voice screams 'STOP' in his head.

He is in his body, but somewhere above it at the same time, a place where he cannot reach his brain and grasp the functions he needed to live. They belonged to someone else now, Kale Vandelay held them on puppet strings and played with Chai as he pleased.

His plan worked and with SPECTRA, he controlled what made Chai whole, used it against everything the younger man stood for. He will make decisions, those with which Chai did not agree with, he will talk to people that Chai does not consider close, not his friends, only businessmen and vaste collectors.

Kale is Chai. And Chai no longer exists.

***

He opened his eyes with a loud and shaky breath, then, covered in sweat, sat down on the couch he had already managed to claim as his own in their hideout. He quickly looked around, holding out his hands and blinking to make sure his body was still his and began to orient himself by what time it was and if anyone had noticed anything.

He had been having such nightmares for a few days now, but they were never too bad and after a few seconds of waking up, Chai usually managed them and felt okay again.

Peppermint fell asleep at her desk in that chair and it looked like her position was more comfortable than it seemed. Korsica was resting on the other couch nearby, it was already hers without anyone saying anything. They had to find another sleeping place for Macaron, first they wanted to bring a bed, but then the older man explained that he would feel bad if he was the only one with a proper sleeping place and they brought another, third and bigger couch to the shelter on which he slept now. One was also offered to CNMN but he turned the offer down, saying that he rested best standing up. It looked a little scary, but if it was the best option for him, no one would complain.

Carefully, so as not to wake 808, Chai stood up and stretched. He knew what was going to happen next, he could never fall asleep easily again after the nightmares and he needed to distract himself in some way. He put on his clothes, left his guitar propped up on the couch and quietly opened the door to leave the hideout.

The whole place has managed to change a lot in that time. The signs of Kale Vandelay will be around for a while, but Roxanne did everything she could to make things better, right again. She filled the team with so many capable people that Chai very often felt like he didn't belong at all and even though he was wanted and loved there for all sorts of people, there were still a lot of things that could not be easily forgotten.

The fact that Kale was Peppermint's brother, that he was now gone with a lot of his colleagues and that he had taken over Chai's mind for a little while which still left a mark on him.

Chai felt cold and alone whenever he remembered it, especially when Kale came back into his dreams and haunted him from his grave. He knew that maybe, he should have told someone about it, they would have ideas on how to forget that bastard, but he thought it was ridiculous. He's been in mortal danger so many times before and he never even remembers it anymore, but someone takes over his brain for a few minutes and he fears it in his dreams like a little kid?

After all, he was no longer in any danger. All evil was banished, Kale was dead, no one would take his brain. Vandelay technologies will only grow and grow, with lots of happy employees and equally happy customers who will be able to choose what they buy on their own.

He let out a loud breath and touched his chest. The gentle throbbing of his music player always managed to calm him down, it was the defective part as well as the savior one. Only thanks to that, he was able to beat Kale and the others down, change the future, change himself.

And no one is going to take that away from him, certainly not Kale.

"Oh, good evening, friend! It's always nice to see you!"

The stranger's voice scared Chai so much that the beat and rhythm doubled under his palm and he thought he was going to have a heart attack. There weren't many people or robots roaming the streets at night because for once, they could enjoy their sleep which they didn't get much of under Kale's management. But now, he was looking at a good old acquaintance who was still doing a great job helping others. Of course he scared Chai a little on their first ever meeting, but the younger man quickly grew attached to him.

"Smidge! You scared me, you know?!"

“I'm so sorry, being responsible for the death of a Vandelay technologies ambassador would truly not be good!”

The street was otherwise quiet, Chai liked that atmosphere a lot but it was true that sometimes, a conversation with a friend is enough to drive away some bad thoughts. Today's dream was extra bad, so he was glad for the meeting with Smidge.

"What are you doing here so late, dude? This is the first time I've seen you here at this time..."

"I just got back from work! They needed help and I volunteered, for a hefty bonus! In the bad old days I'd have to go and without the extra coin, I'm living my best life!"

And Chai was really happy for him. He still remembered the moment when Smidge had sacrificed himself for him, even if it was unintentional, so that he could pass though and for that, the young man had promised himself that he would pay more attention to him.

Chai mentioned him to Roxanne too, he really wanted him to get what he deserved.

"I can also tell from your words that this is not your first walk at [2:46]."

"Yeah, you got me..." But he didn't say anything else to him. Chai didn't want to bother his close friends with it and that included Smidge. Everyone had a lot of work now, everything had to be redone after Kale and Chai now had a lot of tasks on his hands which were completely new to him. He had to concentrate, act like an adult and stop thinking about how afraid he was that someone, that Kale, was waiting for him behind every corner.

He was 25 years old for God's sake, he should get his shit together.

"Are you alright, friend? You look very exhausted, maybe this isn't the ideal hour for walking."

"I'm fine, Smidge. Like you said, I'm used to these late night walks." He put his hands behind his head and started whistling softly, Smidge listened to him with a smile as they walked down the street and it ended up being quite a pleasant walk.

"Is work going well, friend?"

"It depends, some days are easier, some days are harder, something that we destroyed during our fight with Kale breaks down from time to time, other times we have to calm down a lot of workers who are confused by the fact that they suddenly have more time off... It's sad, really, when a robot tells you he was going to work himself to death and then kneels before you when you tell him he can take a break. But all of that will change." He stopped for a moment, looked at the buildings where construction work had already started long ago and smiled.

They still had a lot of work to do but everything was getting better and that was the main thing.

"Yes friend, and that's mainly thanks to you and your friends. I'm glad I could be of help to you at the beginning and end of your journey!"

"It's not mainly because of me. Peppermint did most of the work and the others did everything she couldn't. I just... I was just there."

He saw Smidge open his door after a moment and take out one of his refreshing drinks which he handed to Chai with another smile. He hesitated for a moment, but then accepted the drink with thanks and opened it to take a sip. He didn't even notice how dry his throat was, but Smidge was built for recognising those needs. Of course he knew when and how to help others, Macaron did a great job putting him together.

"You don't have to be modest, friend. Everyone has seen you in action and without you, [Peppermint] and the rest of the team wouldn't be able to make their move! So enjoy the fame and popularity you deserve, the Chai I know would love this!"

Yes, he was right, but Chai was no longer who he claimed to be the day he arrived on the campus. His joy and funny performances were now coming from the heart and not just to achieve something, he had real friends and could finally learn to play the guitar, something he wanted all his life.

So why did he have to feel so miserable now?

"You're right, Smidge. A little fame won't hurt me, so you can call me a rockstar."

"Does the rockstar want to practice his moves?" He readied himself into a fighting stance and Chai nearly choked on the drink he was drinking, Smidge beamed again at the thought of being beaten and the young man wondered what exactly Macaron had programmed into him to achieve a behavior like this.

"I'm done with that, Smidge. I'm not wanted by a corporation anymore, there's no robots after me so I don't have to fight. I've got a lot of other things to worry about now..." But he rubbed his robotic palm as he said it, it was still used to holding that guitar and it craved the fights, it craved that adrenaline rush, that moment when Chai at least felt useful.

"Your face doesn't agree with what you say, friend." Chai didn't want to hear that, he pushed the empty bottle back to Smidge with a sigh and impatiently waited for the moment when he would finally arrive at the place where Smidge lived, wherever it was.

"Is something still bothering you, rockstar? That is not good, I can offer some advice on how to-"

"Where do you even live? We've come a long way already." He was happy for his company, really, but talking about such things was starting to do him no good. He was the funny guy, not the one who started complaining the moment he got a great job and lots of good opportunities.

"Oh, we passed my residence a long time ago but it seemed like you needed to talk more, so I didn't say anything!"

Chai just smiled at him, finding how much it warmed him to think of how Smidge thought of him. Maybe it was just the AI, maybe this fridge really liked him, but he didn't think about the logic of it now.

God, how glad he was that after all the chaos, they were able to find this robot in the same place, stuck under the door and still smiling. He also remembered Macaron's happy face when Chai called him to help him with Smidge and found out that his helpful creation had found a friend.

"Come on, I'll walk you back home..."

"Okay, let's talk more! How is Mister Macaron? Is Miss Roxanne Vandelay doing well? Isn't it great that we have only one Monday again?" Chai had to smile at his enthusiasm, he was glad that he was having so much fun, that all the employees could finally be truly happy again.

Chai remembered Smidge's previous words, 'enjoy the fame and popularity you deserve ', and he was truly enjoying it at that moment. He knew it would be a crazy story to tell when he actually got on stage as a rockstar, when fans would be wondering how the whole thing with the robotic arm and music player in his chest happened.

They talked a lot more, Chai listened to everything Smidge and his new friends he made at work were able to do under the new commanders and before they knew it, the robot suddenly stopped in the middle of his speech and his journey.

"Did something happen?"

"Here's my stop for tonight, friend!"

Oh, of course. After all, they were heading to his home. Feeling like an idiot now, Chai scratched the back of his head with a smirk.

"Did the time pass really this quickly?"

"Yes, conversations with you are always a wonderful way to forget the harsh reality of time and space! I hope to see you soon!" They waved at each other and as Smidge opened the door that belonged to one of the apartment buildings he was assigned to after Kale's fall, he turned to Chai.

"Get a good night's sleep, friend. Tiredness does not suit you at all!"

"Yeah, yeah, good night to you too." He chuckled as the refrigerator closed the door behind him, then sighed loudly and yawned at the same time.

He was getting tired again, he didn't even notice it. It should have taken him a few more minutes to walk back and the steps made him tired more and more which caused him to fall on the couch almost asleep when he quietly made his way back to the shelter. Everyone was still asleep for which he was thankful. He still didn't know what excuse he would come up with for climbing out at night when he knew very well that he had a lot of work waiting for him the next day. No, today to be precise.

'Enjoy the fame and popularity you deserve.'

Yes, now he was a hero, a representative of Vandelay technologies, and such heroes did not feel this much anxiety and didn't get stupid nightmares. After everything he had done and been through, he would be able to get through this. There was no reason to deal with it even more, he just needed to wait and Kale Vandelay would surely disappear from his mind quicker than he would even realise.

He fell asleep a few minutes after these thoughts and no more nightmares came to him that night.

Chapter Text

He wasn't in the void, he saw a very familiar barrier in front of him but no one was standing behind it. He only felt a presence behind his body, there was someone who suddenly covered his eyes with their hands and Chai felt as if someone had taken away his sight along with his ability to breathe.

"Guess who, Chai?"

The voice was all static and skipping tones with each word, Chai swallowed loudly and opened his mouth.

"P-peppermint?"

“How rude, to think that you would mistake me for my own sister."

He suddenly felt foreign fingers in his eye sockets, as if he had no eyeballs, and the hands were pulling him further and further back.

Why was Kale behind him? No, this wasn't happening, Kale wasn't here, Kale was gone-

"But I never left, Chai. I'll be here with you until the day you die... You never got rid of me. The moment you let me into that stupid head of yours was the day I sealed your fate..."

His head was pressed hard against the foreign surface, a painful red shone in his eyes and as he focused, he saw Peppermint behind the color, watching them both in horror.

"Here's your Peppermint, but she doesn't have much time left... Can you feel it? How I'm slowly taking control of you... You stupid idiot..."

He was crushing his skull, Chai desperately tried to wriggle out of his grasp and when he managed to turn, he caught a glimpse of the fingers' owner, that smile was carved in his memory.

"You guessed wrong and as punishment, I'm going to borrow your body and hurt a few people with it, how about that?"

***

Chai was horrified when he opened his eyes again and right in front of him was Kale, holding onto the couch and leaning forward.

The young man couldn't even move, Kale was staring like a predator at his prey and Chai felt himself start to panic, the player in his chest was beating insanely fast and as he tried to move his hand, leg, anything, every part of his body felt very heavy and he couldn't do anything at all.

He was here, Kale came for him from the grave and managed to gain full control. Chai had to warn the others, had to force them to get out of here, but only a desperate and confused groan came out of his mouth.

"-tle guy? Chai, can you hear me?"

The strange voice brought him back to reality, he blinked a few times and Kale was suddenly gone, a worried-looking Macaron was now kneeling right next to his head, waving his arms nervously, not knowing if he could touch Chai or if it would make everything worse.

"M-macaron?" He carefully sat down, his body still felt a hundred times heavier but he didn't want to scare Macaron by saying he couldn't even stand up. He felt awfully hot, the beat of the music player was suddenly out of rhythm and he almost lay down again if Macaron hadn't reached out and supported him from behind.

"Take it easy, little guy... It looked like an awful nightmare, you kept turning around and making painful noises..." He whispered so he wouldn't wake the others and Chai was glad for that, but at the same time didn't want Macaron, didn't want anyone, to see him like this.

"It's... It's fine, I'm fine. Just a nightmare." He smiled but he still felt anxious, fearing that Kale Vandelay would return at any moment.

But it was just a dream, just a nightmare. Chai had to pull himself together.

"I know I'm not the best at supporting others, Chai, but... do you want to talk about it?"

And Chai wanted to, really. He needed to get over it somehow, talk about it and find some solution to get those horrible images and words out of his dreams, Macaron would be the first one to try to help him, but Chai's pride still wouldn't let him.

Macaron was definitely busy with a lot of tasks now that he was one of the heads of the company again, there really wasn't a need for any of this.

"It's fine Macaron, but thanks. Did I wake you up?"

"Oh no, I was already awake, I woke up a while ago so I went to check on everyone. I know we're all safe now, but I still worry about everyone, you know?"

He knew what he meant. Just a while ago, they were all in danger of death almost every day and night and now, their lives were peaceful and safe again. It was strange.

"Yeah, sometimes I go back to the hideout and I expect the worst when I don't find anyone here, but then I realize... They're just all busy."

"Yes, you suddenly feel alone when no one is around, don't you?"

Macaron couldn't have said it better because Chai really felt alone even though he had a lot of good robots and people around him. The feeling of not belonging still lingered, but that would surely only offend others if they knew.

They had helped him in the past and were still helping him even now, so it was time for him to come to his senses and not cause them any more problems.

"How's work anyway, Macaron? Is it stressful to suddenly be on the move again, dealing with all this important stuff?"

"Not really, it's so...relaxing for me. I feel good when I'm repairing what we've found in the systems and when I can help, but whenever I've had a problem, Roxanne has helped me immediately. We're improving faster than anyone thought we would."

Macaron was smiling at him, but Chai realized that he couldn't bring a smile to his face at that moment.

Yes, Roxanne. Vandelay technologies was now led by Kale's mother again. Strong and independent, kind and loving. The one who saw the potential in Chai and accepted him, the one who was able to create a family for him. Conversations with her were always joyful, he loved seeing how much Peppermint enjoyed spending time with her again and Chai appreciated that, really.

But sometimes, he saw Kale's face in her and it scared him so much that he started to avoid her, even cut her off a few times because he couldn't look her in the eye. Of course he apologized for it and she accepted the words every time even though she had no idea what exactly was going on, Chai wasn't ever going to explain it.

Because how would she feel if she heard that he resembled her bloodthirsty, power-hungry son to him?

"I'm glad, Mac. This is how it's supposed to be."

"You still look a little upset Chai. Are you sure you're all right now?"

His rhythm had calmed down, but he still felt uneasy. He longed for something, spreading the fingers on his robotic hand and clenching them into a fist again before deciding that telling Macaron over and over that he was fine and that he would just have to go back to sleep really wasn't going to help.

"I just miss the adrenaline a little bit. Those times when I could beat up those attacking robots and put all my anger and joy into it... But now I just sit and do nothing, you know?"

Macaron thought for a moment, then focused on Chai's clenched fist and smiled slightly.

“I may have a small solution for you, little guy." He got up and urged Chai to follow him, he of course didn't hesitate for a second to leave the hideout with him again. He would really do anything just to not have to go back to sleep with the feeling of Kale Vandelay watching him from the corner.

"S-seriously?"

"Of course, everyone feels like hitting something sometimes... right?"

He remembered the moment Macaron destroyed an entire wall with his bare fist when he saw the image of Zanzo and swallowed. Maybe he was a little afraid of what the older man was trying to show him.

"Yeah, you're right."

They walked through one of the streets, Chai had to catch up to Macaron with his legs and soon, they arrived at a place that looked quite deserted. The younger man noticed a couple of walls that looked a little cracked and then the bricks and pieces of wood lying around. Macaron put hands on his hips with a smile and waited for Chai to move on, but Chai just looked ahead in confusion, not knowing if this was the place or if he was supposed to go somewhere else.

"I used to come here when I needed to calm down, Chai. Of course, I haven't been here since I got my position back but whenever I felt angry, whenever Zanzo made one of his illogical decisions... I stayed here."

Chai took a few steps forward, running his fingers along the cracked wall and was silent for a moment before turning back to Macaron.

“But these cracked walls don't look like they were damaged by you, otherwise they would be... Well, they wouldn't be here." He laughed and saw the other man pick up one of the bricks on the ground in his hand.

“Oh, there was another wall in front of it, it must have been damaged when I destroyed the first one." He threw a brick at the crack, it immediately fell apart and left a hole in a shape of the brick.

"O-oh! Of course..." Sometimes Macaron's power worried him a bit, but he was happy for him at the same time. He was the one who got him out of a lot of trouble when Chai needed to continue his journey, none of his hits and punches ever missed and at the same time, Chai was always sure that Macaron wouldn't hurt a fly until he or one of his loved ones were in danger.

"Does it really help, Macaron?"

"It might be a little rough, but I always feel at least a little bit better... I thought I'd show you so you could try it too if you're missing some of the action."

That never really occurred to Chai. He left his fighting phase behind as soon as he was able to defeat Kale and after that, he hardly touched his guitar-shaped metal tool. He had enough work to do with his real guitar which he wanted to learn to play, he wasn't going to fight anymore but now, he realized that he really missed it. That he wanted to step up and-

To spur Chai on, Macaron raised his fist and slammed it into one of the walls which immediately crumbled. He relaxed with a smile and the younger man felt his strong hand on his shoulder.

"Now you, little guy. Go ahead."

Has he gone mad? Did he want Chai to tear down a whole wall just like he did?!

Chai didn't want to argue, he was there to get out all the anger about Kale and to calm down, so he also reached out and squeezed his palm just like Macaron, aiming at one of the walls.

"Chai, wait-!"

But Chai didn't hear him, he slammed his fist into the wall and only then did he realize why Macaron wanted to stop him, why it was such a bad idea. An excruciating pain shot through his left arm, his knuckles burned and he let out a pained yelp before bending down and closing his fist into the robotic one.

"Ow, ow, bad idea, BAD IDEA!" He began to blow hot air on his now rapidly reddening hand and Macaron quickly came over to see how much damage Chai had caused himself.

"Are you alright, mate?!"

"It's okay, I'm perfectly fine! You know, maybe I could have figured out that I wouldn't crush the wall on the first try, that the wall would rather crush me." He laughed happily and that at least let Macaron know that it probably wasn't that bad. Even so, he felt a little guilty.

“I thought... I thought you were going to use your robotic arm, little guy, but you went and punched the wall with the bare one... I'm still in awe of your guts." And finally, he smiled too.

“Oh, when you say that, it suddenly makes a lot more sense, my human parts can't do that much after all...” He said this a bit disappointed, not wanting Macaron to misinterpret it but that's exactly what he did.

"I-I didn't mean that Chai, you've gotten so much stronger, physically and mentally after all! But what I know about your robotic arm is that it's the fastest route and connection to your chest and that magic music player, its contact with the wall could produce a soothing rhythm."

Chai didn't answer him for a moment, staring at his artificial arm before turning back to the wall and holding it out. Macaron was right, as soon as it met the hard bricks, the player in his chest jumped excitedly, giving Chai a pleasant rhythm as he hit the wall over and over again.

"You're right, this is much better, and much less painful! Sorry if I made you think I was offended by your comment, that was not my intention at all." He then continued punching, closing his eyes as he did so, imagining that there were some hostile robots standing in front of him, possibly even Kale himself.

"-ai?"

He focused only on himself and on his calmness which began to come to him. Why didn't he try this sooner when he saw how it obviously helped Macaron?

Because if he beats Kale, at least in her mind, he might even make him disappear completely.

"Um, little guy?"

When he finally heard him, Chai opened his eyes and realized that he was punching nothing. He managed to make a hole in the wall for his hand to stick through and he came to a complete stop as he took a few steps back.

"I-I did that?!"

"Of course! See? You have power in you... So how was it?"

His hand was a little dirty, but it was nothing he couldn't take care of himself after this.

"I suddenly feel so calm... I really must have needed to get the rest of my energy out... You're amazing, Mac!"

"B-but that's not even worth talking about! I'm glad I could help..." His cheeks flushed with gratitude and Chai playfully slapped him on the back to push him closer to one of the walls.

"But don't leave me alone in this, I want to see you destroy another wall, I miss seeing you do that!"

“If you wish...” He straightened his glasses on his nose and as he reached out, Chai joined him.

In the end, it ended with them running out of walls to break. The whole place looked like after an explosion and when Chai realized this, he slowly turned to face his punching partner and put his hands behind his head in his typical fashion.

"Um, Macaron? We didn't destroy anything important, did we..."

"It's just an empty and abandoned former construction site, Chai, you don't have to worry. I think we've rather helped get the job done." They both rested and sat on the ground for a while, visibly exhausted, and while Macaron settled down, Chai placed his hands down and began examining the robotic one in his lap.

Such beautiful and miraculous technology, but at what cost?

"Do you... ever regret having it instead of your previous arm, Chai?"

The question came out of the blue and shouldn't have startled Chai that much, but he suddenly let out a wheezing breath and tightly squeezed his synthetic palm.

"W-what? Oh, I... No, I'm not missing my fleshy hand at all, it should have been go- no, I... What were you asking me again?"

Macaron knew it was time to back off.

"Ah, sorry Chai, I obviously came across a touchy subject. Don't worry about it."

Chai took a breath and nodded, he was glad that Macaron was so understanding. He was never used to talking about his feelings, about who he was before he learned about Project Armstrong, about who he would have become if he hadn't gotten this robotic arm.

But even that didn't come for free. Kale destroyed everything.

No, he didn't miss his right arm, but he was slowly starting to hate the spare one. It had the Vandelay symbol on it, a sign that a piece of his body still belonged to Kale and that he could do almost nothing without his technology.

Because without it, he wouldn't be able to save this company, he wouldn't be able to learn to play the guitar because he wouldn't have a-

"How about we go back now, Chai? You look like you're going to fall asleep at any moment..." The pleasant sound of Macaron's voice brought him out of his thoughts and he immediately nodded. He didn't think too much about how he got up and how he dragged behind Macaron even slower than usual.

He just felt a little alone again, because he knew that Macaron must have felt a little uncomfortable after Chai still hadn't opened up about his private life.

Chapter Text

Chai lay on the ground, feeling warm dampness beneath him and on his clothes, realising his whole left arm was gone. He was lying in his own blood, Kale was leaning over him, holding the special object Peppermint needed to end SPECTRA with.

He reached for it with his robotic hand, but Kale was able to grab its wrist instead. He had that small, scary smile on his face and it didn't change the whole time, even when he started talking to him.

Pain.

"What would you like? This little thing?"

“Leave me alone."

Pain. Where the hell was it coming from?

The man knelt down to him and placed a hand on his throbbing chest, Chai immediately lunged for him but as his robotic arm was caught and his human one gone, nothing happened.

"I made it easier and took the other one from you, so we can start transplanting the replacement right now, don't you think? Another piece of my technology on your body..."

He reached for him again with his non-existent hand, but at that moment felt another rush of that strange pain. It felt like it was coming from somewhere else.

"N-no, no... no, I don't want another one, don't touch me..."

"You wanted a good life, didn't you? A life that was fair to you and I made it better. Why should I stop now? I pulled you out of your miserable life and you're going to repay that kindness by killing your savior?! By killing Roxanne's son, Peppermint's brother!"

His chest was rising and falling again at an immense speed, he couldn't breathe properly and the pain kept getting stronger and stronger.

"I'm not leaving, Chai. We will be together happily ever after."

***

Chai had his eyes open but didn't even realise it. His chest was burning and it felt like there was some pressure there, his eyes were focused on one place and there he was, Kale in all his disgusting beauty, his face twisted into the same smile he had just a moment ago.

He didn't say anything, Kale was just looking at the younger man and didn't even move. It was terrifying, but Chai had nowhere to run. He felt like he was tied to his couch and sweat was running down his forehead, Kale was coming for him and nothing was going to stop him this time.

He came for revenge.

"Mister Chai, I'm here. You don't have to worry."

He heard the voice, but it seemed impossibly far away and unlike Macaron, who was able to make the monster of a man leave when he called Chai's name, Kale Vandelay was still standing there tonight.

He stood and stared.

"I'm going to talk to you and try to get you through this situation, try to focus on my voice."

And Chai was glad, really, because the voice sounded like it knew what it was doing. But when Chai saw what he saw and the man didn't disappear, it was hard to believe that Kale wasn't really there.

"You are going through sleep paralysis, Mister Chai. Your breathing is rapid and you are looking at something that is not present."

Sleep paralysis? Chai had heard about it, but never really cared. Maybe he should start to.

"I'm going to touch your hand now, okay? I will try to get you out of it carefully. I don't know exactly what variant of sleep paralysis you're experiencing, we have to be careful."

At that moment, he felt a slight warmth on his left hand, the left hand he thought he hadn't had. Someone squeezed and surrounded it with a strange feeling, it was being held and Chai felt himself managing to calm his breathing.

"Yes Mister Chai, you are doing well. Just focus on the fact that whatever you see, they are still just visions, nothing else."

That pissed Kale off, Chai got another uncomfortable feeling and when he managed to blink as he wiggled his toes, the older man was gone in no time and the young man felt finally free.

He slowly turned to CNMN who was sitting next to him with Chai's hand hidden in his robotic palms and realized how hot he felt, how he had just been through something horrible and how he never wanted to experience anything like that ever again.

"C-CNMN?"

“Yes, that is indeed my name." He painted a look of relief on his face and held Chai for a while before finally letting go. He knew that the worst was not over yet, he just had to analyze the situation and be careful about when it would be the best time to tell Chai the news.

But when the young man, still sleepy, began to examine his palm and noticed some smeared blood on it, the robot knew that the best time would be now.

"What the-"

"You don't need to panic, but one of your vital cables has been critically damaged along with one other component that connects the technology to your body. It doesn't look good at all."

Chai just stared at him for a moment, then the music player in his chest painfully turned to an uncomfortable rhythm and the man looked down at his shirt which also had blood seeping through it.

"W-What? How did that... Am I dying?!" He really tried to whisper, but chaos was slowly replacing the sleepiness in his head and he couldn't stay calm.

"There's a 36-percent chance that cable could electrocute you and kill you, Mister Chai! But no pressure."

Chai's breath hitched and he reached out for CNMN's hand again to hold it in his.

"All the pressure! What on earth happened? And why are we not panicking more!"

"Because the best chance of putting you together again is when you have a calm mind, Mister Chai. The more fear, panic, or adrenaline you feel, the higher the pressure your music player creates, the faster the rhythm is and the better the chance that one of the beats will kill you is."

Chai understood him and nodded, trying to breathe deeply but knowing it wasn't helping him much.

"You shouldn't move too much, I'll take you to a table and see what I can do. I won't let you die, Mister Chai." He gently motioned for Chai to let go of his palm and took him gently into his arms. He then put him in the same place where he had been helping out Korsica with Peppermint and Macaron next to him back then and with the utmost care, CNMN got his new patient out of his jacket and t-shirt, in which he had already begun to regularly sleep in whenever he returned late from his duties.

“So... the technology is broken? Did it suddenly decide to fry me to death?"

"How long have you been having nightmares for, Mister Chai? Was this your first sleep paralysis?" He completely ignored his question and prepared all the tools he would need. Chai waited for a while to see if he would reply, but he wasn't in the mood for arguing right now, so he let CNMN look at him for a while as he answered him.

"For a few... days, maybe. And that creep analysis or whatever-"

"Sleep paralysis. There is no way you've never heard of this phenomenon." But when Chai didn't answer him, he finally took some tools from a bag and cautiously began to work.

"The brain is partially aware of reality but cannot sufficiently differentiate this reality from a dream. People also feel chained to their bedding, unable to move their limbs, losing their vocal cords... Does this sound familiar, Mister Chai?"

He saw him nod as he carefully began to remove the damaged cable so as not to hurt Chai even further. Although he was not directly programmed for such situations, he learned a lot during the operation on Korsica and was quite proud of himself.

"Hallucinations and feelings of fear are presented as well, all of which can end up with severe anxiety. That is sleep paralysis."

"Hallucinations..." Chai repeated quietly after him and as he closed his eyes, he remembered the moment of today and yesterday when the very real-looking Kale Vandelay was standing by his bed. After all, it was just a dream, of course it was just a dream, just a hallucination, Kale was dead.

"Some people refer to them as Sleep Paralysis Demons. The ones that make this whole concept truly terrifying. Whether they're actual apparitions of demons, wild animals, monsters, or Kale Vandelay."

Chai shuddered at the mention of the name, he wanted to stand up but CNMN stopped him before he could ruin his entire progress.

"How... how do you know that-"

"It is very obvious, Mister Chai. He took over your mind for a while, he was our archenemy, you almost ended your life when you tried to disable your music player along with your robotic arm while you were asleep, so why wouldn't you envision him as a demon?"

The robot yanked out the damaged cable as carefully as he could, but the pain went through Chai anyway and he let out a quiet hiss, at the same time looking quite worried and turning his head to the right to look CNMN in the face.

"I... I did this?"

"What was your nightmare about, Mister Chai?"

He had to think for a moment, put everything together and take a breath as he felt CNMN move to his other damaged part to replace it.

"I was lying... god knows where, he was standing next to me... He wanted to install another robotic hand on me, he said that I should thank him for everything I've achieved... that without this hand, I wouldn't be able to do anything at all, so I wanted him to show that he wasn't right, I... I..."

“You tried to remove the robotic enhancement to prove him wrong."

Chai looked at his still bloodied palm again, swallowed dryly and shook a little. He seriously did this to himself, he almost got rid of what made him whole and useful, he actually almost took his own life.

The fear of anything connected to Kale nearly killed him.

"Please don't tell anyone, I don't want them to-"

"All secrets are safe with me, it wouldn't be right to talk about your privacy. Just like it wouldn't be right to talk about other people's privacy, no matter what."

He was grateful for that now, Chai took a quiet breath and tried not to think about the strange feeling when the robot next to him tried to pull out the second damaged part he was supposed to replace. Who knew what CNMN thought of him now? They never had as much fun as they did with the others, the robot often mostly stayed by Macaron's side, but they both suspected that there was a bond of stronger friendship between them after all.

Chai respected and loved every one of his mates.

"I'm sorry, I'm so desperate and you have to do this just because I-"

"Let's establish one rule, Mister Chai. No apologizing." A new part was inserted into his shoulder which fitted perfectly and now, all CNMN had to do was to get the second cable and connect it to the music player.

"You are not desperate, our weaker moments just prove that we're truly alive." He started rummaging through his things again, then had a small idea as he painted two blushing cheeks on his face and made sure Chai wasn't looking.

“Mister Chai, where did your robot hand come from?”

The question came after a while and at a moment Chai started to run into his own thoughts, but he still heard it and didn't understand what was CNMN getting at.

“From... Kale Vandelay, from his technologies."

"Did Kale Vandelay make your hand by himself, Mister Chai? Do you think he personally came to the machine and put it together, that he personally made sure everything worked, that all the parts fit as they should, that they were compatible with your body?"

Chai opened his mouth to reply but stopped, realizing that he had been looking at the whole situation in the wrong direction.

"N-no..."

“So you think another of the past Vandelay technologies bosses completed these actions?

He shook his head in disapproval again and felt the new cable being attached to him. CNMN must have almost finished his work by now.

"Then who was it, Mister Chai? It surely didn't just pop up out of nowhere."

“Probably some talented Vandelay Technologies employees, robots would be my guess."

Now he felt a little bad, of course Kale didn't come and start assembling the technology by himself, he probably didn't even touch this hand before it was put on him.

"Yes, employees who were just doing their job, who certainly didn't do it with any bad intentions. Only the highest-ranking ones knew what would happen to the people accepted to participate in the Armstrong Project, those poor workers definitely wanted to help people like you, Mister Chai. So don't worry about it, that miraculous hand does not connect you to that demon in any way.”

He motioned for him to sit down when he was done and then went to the other side to wipe some blood off his hands. Chai finally sat up, felt a little more of the uncomfortable throb of his music player, but then it settled back into its normal, comfortable rhythm. He breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that the danger of death was most likely averted, but then inspected the new cable, quite confused by what he was seeing.

"After all, it's something that's supposed to help you, not something that should harm you. So don't take your own life so stupidly over this, even if stupid things are your speciality."

Chai ran his fingers over the four colors his new cable had before turning back to CNMN. Blue, green, red, yellow, all these colors gave off a little light in the darkness of the room. The same colors that 808 changed whenever one of Chai's partners spoke through her.

"That's..."

"Just to make sure you don't forget who's standing by you, Mister Chai. Now it is not the technology made just by other employees, but also by your friends, don't you think?"

Chai remained silent, then examined the second, newer part that CNMN had implanted in his shoulder and a smile finally appeared on his face.

"CNMN, that's so thoughtful, I have no idea what to say..."

"Maybe a simple 'Thank you' will do."

Chai finally stopped playing with the cable, reached for his clothes and the robot next to him watched him for a while longer.

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense... Thanks, really." He started to get dressed, got off the table and as he slowly made his way back to his couch, he noticed that Peppermint was strangely absent from her computer. He wanted to ask, but CNMN motioned for him to be quiet and pointed to the couch belonging to Korsica. It was now spread out and Chai could make out two people lying under one blanket in the darkness.

“Miss Peppermint never asked for another couch, but it seems she's recognized its comfort." The robot next to him commented and Chai could only nod at first. Everyone around knew how much those two wanted to be close, so he was glad to see some progress.

"It was about time, those two kept denying their feelings and it was painful to watch how they kept jumping around each other."

“You shouldn't be the one talking about denying feelings, Mister Chai."

CNMN sat down on Chai's couch, tapped his mechanical hand next to him and the young man suspected that he was in for more talk. But he didn't want to get into a heated debate with him, no one wanted to contradict this robot, whether it was because they were a little worried about what CNMN would do or because they suspected that he knew what he was doing and how to help.

"Is everything working as it should, Mister Chai? Any technical difficulties?"

"No, you did a great job, CNMN. You don't have to worry anymore."

He immediately saw that the robot did not agree with that answer.

"But that's a lie. You're very clearly suffering."

"Well... yeah, that moment when... when Kale was standing right next to my bed was freaking scary. I had a similar experience yesterday, he was just standing there... Until Mac called me and then it was over."

This unsettled CNMN even more, he began to take a closer look on Chai before reaching out to touch his forehead, then running his robotic fingers over the dark circles beginning to form under the young man's eyes.

"Two sleep paralyses in a row? That's really not good. Your sleep pattern must be a mess."

"Of course it is, I haven't had a good night's sleep because of those nightmares in... in a long time. Is this... is this going to happen again, CNMN?"

He looked stressed, but his music player was at least already able to turn all that stress into a faster beat without threatening to kill him.

"It can happen, Mister Chai, but there are methods to reduce this risk. Do you often sleep on your back?"

"Almost every night..."

"Then stop. Also organize your sleep cycle, go to bed at the same time and earlier so you can catch up to the sleep you missed." He started to write it down on paper because he was quite sure that someone like Chai would forget these words of advice the next morning, even though they were extremely important, and then gave the instructions to him.

"But the nightmares-"

"A good night's sleep can end those too, but talking about them helps as well, Mister Chai. I know I promised you confidentiality, but I can still give you advice. Talk to someone else about it, get reassurance, comfort. If you're experiencing this for a longer time, loneliness and excessive pride will not help you overcome this problem I'm afraid.”

He waited for Chai's answer but Chai just nodded at him, well aware that every word CNMN said was a painful truth. He's going to have to talk about it someday, he's going to have to explain why he looks so sleepy and confused every morning, why he's still afraid that Kale will attack him.

“Make yourself comfortable for now, I'll be back in a moment."

He actually left for a while, Chai pulled his blanket close to him and in the meantime ran his left hand under his shirt where he felt for his new cable and the music player.

It suddenly seemed warmer, more welcoming.

Now it is not the technology made just by other employees, but also by your friends, don't you think?

He heard some strange noises from afar, he was almost afraid to ask CNMN what was so important that he needed to arrange but before long, the robot returned with a tray on which Chai could make out one glass of milk, most likely warm as there was still some hot steam coming out of it. CNMN offered it to the man as soon as he sat down, Chai hesitated for a moment and so the robot pushed the tray even closer, knowing that the young man would now be even more stubborn because of everything the robot had done for him that night already.

"I've been preparing warm milk for Macaron every night when he had trouble sleeping, Mister Chai. I think it might calm you down a bit."

So Chai finally grabbed the glass, took the first sip and felt himself getting better. But he guessed that it wasn't mainly because of the milk itself, but the very act of grace with which CNMN completed his amazing work today.

"I can't thank you enough, CNMN..."

"You can thank me enough, Mister Chai. By at least thinking about sharing your thoughts with others from now on."

“I... I'll try." And he put the empty glass back on the tray. He then lay down specially on his side, rested and while still carefully holding on to his new cable, he looked at CNMN's face with a slight fright.

"What if I rip it out again? What if... what if I do something worse..."

"I'll stay awake and watch over you, Mister Chai. It's the least I can do for you." Before the robot could get up from its seat, Chai reached out to him one last time and before CNMN knew it, he appeared in a surprising embrace.

There was silence, the robot placed his hands on Chai's back as he was taught by his AI and even though he secretly didn't get much out of it himself, he saw that a smile and fatigue returned to the man's face.

"Damn, I feel like I haven't hugged anyone in years..."

"So this is the comfortable hug that everyone is talking about. Mister Macaron should learn..." Chai chuckled softly, remembering how he ended up in Macaron's arms a few times himself, thinking that the man was going to squeeze his guts out, but it was the thought that counted, right?

"Was it hard to hug with your disabled arm, Mister Chai?"

The topic didn't surprise him like it did when Macaron started it because somewhere inside, he suspected that when CNMN told him that he knew all his embarrassing secrets, he was telling the truth. Just as he had an inkling about Peppermint's situation and knew everything about Macaron from practice, he certainly had information about Korsica and therefore also about Chai.

Maybe that's why he was hugging him now, because he was sure that CNMN knew everything about him and would never say anything he didn't mean. This was all honest.

"When you said that I should talk to someone about myself, you didn't mean yourself, did you..."

"Of course not. After all, I told you that I know everything. I know about your first visit to the hospital, your short life at college and the procedure that was recommended to you. I know about how you regretted having to give up everything. But it's okay, because you got up off the ground again. Our losses in life are nothing bad if we can recover from them. And you did just that, Mister Chai."

***

Chai didn't wake up again that night. Although he turned uncomfortably a few times and thereby threw the blanket covering him from his back on the groung, CNMN pulled it close to his neck again and it remained there until morning.

Chapter Text

"Just give up, rock star. Why are you still so desperately clinging to hope...?"

He wanted to turn to Kale again, but he wasn't standing there. Instead, he saw a very familiar woman there, the one who had been with him almost from the beginning, the one whose cat he loved so much, the one who trusted him and the one he trusted.

"Do you think you can still be a hero? Just because my mom took pity on you since she can't resist feeling sorry for your stupid, pathetic face?"

Peppermint approached him, grabbed his robotic palm and began to examine it with a smile. She then pointed to her robotic leg, the one her mother had lovingly created, but that same love did not show on her face.

"See? I didn't give up because I'm not a loser like you. I was a big girl, I never thought my life was over, I'm not that stupid."

"But... but I-"

"I told you all about my family, Chai. So why can't you tell everyone what a liar you are? Are you afraid of the laughs you'll get? You can't even take that anymore?"

She slapped him hard and Chai felt himself sink to the ground, he spotted another person behind Peppermint and recognized Korsica, then Macaron with CNMN and saw only disappointment on their faces.

He was just a loser, wasn't he? She was telling the truth, so why did it hurt him so much?

"Oh no, did Chai think he had friends? After he threw away his previous ones? You've got guts, we were just using you Chai! Who else would be stupid enough to go on those suicide missions with those killer robots!"

He was already underground, falling to God knows where, and someone caught him in their cold arms. It was only now that Kale appeared, squeezing his waist tightly and hugging him, breaking his bones while whispering words that Peppermint couldn't hear upstairs in his ear.

"Do you hear what they're saying, Chai? You want to take revenge on them, don't you?"

"N-no, no, this isn't..." A lot of blood spewed out of his mouth and splashed Kale's face, but Kale just smiled and pulled out one of the devices from his pocket to turn on SPECTRA's power.

"You know what's the only thing you're good for, don't you? To be my puppet. Look at yourself, what can someone like you do in such a state?"

He squeezed him even tighter and Chai knew. Kale knew. Everyone probably knew.

"Give up again, kid. Let me take control, that's the only way your life can be easy again."

And Chai let him.

***

He didn't even wake up screaming and experience another terrifying hallucination of Kale standing in the room. He simply lay on his side and breathed deeply, his usual sweat was still present and he tried to stop his loudly beating chest any way he could.

Chai had an overwhelming urge to talk to someone, one glance at the clock told him it was probably dawn outside, but that was still too early for anyone to be awake. Despite that, he heard the clicking of keys on a keyboard and the placing of a mug on the table, smelled coffee and deduced that someone had gotten up for work.

In that case, it maybe wasn't a good idea to disturb them, maybe he just had to sneak to the exit and quietly spend some time outside as usual. But as he sat up, his chest made a rather loud sound that threw him off his guard and he let out a startled yelp.

'It may take some time for your music player to get used to the new components, so expect everything in the next few days!'

He remembered CNMN telling him something like that, but he didn't take it too seriously until he was in that situation himself.

"Chai? Was that you?" Now he definitely couldn't hide anymore, that's why he turned to the table where he expected Peppermint at first, but he understood from the voice and prominent red hair that she was still sleeping on the couch. Korsica was drinking coffee in front of the computer right now, she had a lot of files opened on the monitor and looked like she would rather go back to bed.

"Yeah, me. My music player just took a weird turn and surprised me, that's all." He decided to speak directly and to the point, he remembered CNMN's words and was determined to confide more about what was bothering him.

Korsica finally looked into his face, she seemed to study him for a moment before getting up from the table to come closer to him. It was only at such moments that Chai realized how tall she really was, he knew that he had to tilt his head a little so that it wouldn't look like he was looking somewhere else.

"Are you okay, Chai? You look quite sick..."

"O-oh, do I?" That was the last thing he needed, but he didn't feel particularly bad, maybe the lack of sleep was just starting to get to him or his body still had to adapt to the changes it went through that night.

“Yes, your face is all red, your eyes too... Chai, have you been crying?"

Chai quickly rubbed his eyes with his fingers, he felt that they were a little wet and it quite scared him. Was he crying? Because of what he dreamed about? And just when he thought he woke up feeling pretty good today?

Don't be an idiot again, Chai. Just talk to her.

“I had a really bad nightmare."

Korsika could tell from his voice that he meant it dead serious, he looked even more uncomfortable after his words and the woman came up to him to smile, to at least try to make him happy in any way she could. She also wasn't the best at soothing, but she hoped that at least the effort would count.

"I'm also having a very bad nightmare, just while being awake. Someone called in that some people tried to break into the security system and I've already spent hours trying to figure out where the mistake is..."

"Oh, I'm distracting you from work, aren't I? I'm just going to-" But Korsica grabbed his shoulder before he could sneak away. She realized she wasn't making the situation much better, the man was visibly stressed about whatever he was dreaming about and the woman took it as an important task to make sure he was okay.

Without him, she might have not even be here today, Kale Vandelay could have been still in control of the whole company, she would have been further deceived and would have never met Peppermint, whom she growed to like more and more every day.

"How about we take a break for a while and go sit outside?"

"But your work-"

"It can wait a few minutes, trust me. I need to rest for a second too."

She put her red vest on, Chai finally tied his signature red scarf around his neck and Korsica caught him watching his guitar.

She had been speculating for a while that something was bothering the man. He hadn't even touched that guitar in a while, he looked almost sleepless every morning and now, she was beginning to realize what could be causing it.

It was strange for her to see Chai, who was always so cheerful and carefree, so without energy and still visibly acting withdrawn.

"Do you want to take it with you and practise a little?"

Chai flinched, pretending he hadn't looked at it before and that he had no idea what Korsica was even asking him. That was the last straw for her, she stopped believing that the real Chai was standing in front of her and knew that she really had to try to do something about it. She liked this guy, she had to offer him at least some help and support.

"What? Oh, the guitar. No, that's good, we're just going to get some air and-"

"And I was just thinking about how much I would like to hear you play again, to relax and then work more efficiently..." She knew it was borderline blackmail, but she was hoping for an ending where Chai would feel better once he touched the strings. She saw that it worked when Chai looked a little guilty and finally grabbed the musical instrument.

"Well, I guess a little training wouldn't hurt." Leaning it against his shoulder, he pointed at Korsica to indicate he was ready and she picked up her coffee mug before opening the door for him.

The sun was now rising outside, so Chai realized that he was waking up from his nightmares later and later. That made him a little happy because it meant he was actually getting more sleep. Korsica found them a grassy spot where they could sit down comfortably. The woman took a sip, watching with a smile as Chai placed the guitar in his lap and then connected it to the socket in his arm with a special cable. It was an easy way to get some juice into it and he could play right away.

In a moment, a faint strumming to the rhythm began to be heard from him and Korsica was nodding her head at the same pace. Chai suspected that it was a bit unfair to the other rock stars, that he didn't have to find the rhythm himself and that his music player supplied it to him, but he tried to take it only as training until he got the right equipment to plug the guitar into. After that, it will be all about his personal abilities.

"I know working in such an important company can be stressful at times, Chai, but trust me, you can handle it. I was also quite hectic and scared when I first arrived here, but it was even worse at the time. So many tasks and responsibilities what was thrust upon me even when I was a novice..."

She also needed to talk, but she took it as an opportunity for Chai to get everything he needed to get out of his system if he wanted and she smiled at him. He didn't stop playing, his robotic fingers were still pleasantly plucking the strings and he felt he was really starting to feel better.

He didn't feel much up for it before as this activity was able to instantly connect him with thoughts of Kale and that made everything even worse, he hated playing the guitar whenever he thought that he could only do it because he got his enhancements, but now here he was not alone and the words of CNMN kept giving him courage.

"But you did a good job, Korsica. How else would you become head of security? Everyone was a fool when they didn't respect you."

"Thank you Chai, that's very kind of you..."

She listened to the music again with a smile and closed her eyes, this was exactly the relaxation she needed, the one that Chai was visibly enjoying now as well.

"Sometimes, I just think the job is too much for someone like me, Korsica. What does Roxanne even see in me?" He closed his eyes as well, strumming as he saw fit and heard the woman move closer to him.

"She sees the likable, brave and kind man Chai, like all of us. It just took me longer to realise..."

"I'm not surprised, Korsica... Because I don't think either of those words really describe me. Likeable? Didn't you all hate the way I spoke at first? And brave? I used to yell like a maniac and now I'm afraid even in my own dreams, what kind of Vandelay technologies representative am I?"

He felt a hand on his shoulder but he didn't open his eyes, he just stopped playing and sighed loudly.

"Are the nightmares really that bad?"

"I... I..."

'You should open up to your loved ones, Mister Chai. This will open your way back to good dreams.'

"I think about Kale, almost every night, one time he takes over my brain and the other time he turns my friends, my family, against me, and then I see him next to my couch and I start going crazy, I think I'll go completely mad if this doesn't stop Korsica, and I-I don't know what to do next, how to help myself... I feel like a loser."

'And what a loser you are.' Said the fictional Peppermint in his head and Chai gulped.

"Chai, why... why wouldn't you say something like that sooner? That sounds serious, we could have-"

"I don't think anything can help me anymore, this is... I'm afraid to go to sleep, Korsica, how funny..."

He tried to play another tune, but it sounded all shaky and Chai stopped trying.

"There's nothing funny about this Chai, and it is nothing you should be forced to hide. Kale has marked us all enough, you have a right to feel that way, but that doesn't mean it has to be like this... We can help."

She patted him lightly on the shoulder and that calmed Chai down a little, he was still confused by how quickly everything he didn't want to tell anyone at first came out, but he was incredibly glad for it because it seemed that Korsica took him as seriously as possible.

"I also still think about Kale Vandelay sometimes, Chai, even though I really don't want to. I don't know what it's like when he takes over your mind, but I know what it's like when he destroys all your dreams. The whole idea of Vandelay technologies was an inspiration to me, Kale was an inspiration to me, but when you opened my eyes... It all turned into one terrifying nightmare.”

The hand was removed from his shoulder, Korsica took a large sip of her coffee and set the empty mug down beside her on the grass. There was a moment of silence before she spoke again, but her question forced Chai to finally open his eyes and look at her.

"When you told me you knew how I felt, that your favorite band chased you away like a dirty animal... That wasn't all you felt when you saw me, was it?"

Chai didn't answer her, CNMN's voice was still arguing in his head with his own pride and loneliness, with the need for secrets and the pain he wanted to forget a long time ago, but he finally just nodded and opened his mouth.

"Vandelay technologies, Project Armstrong, Kale Vandelay... They all basically saved my life, Korsica..."

She didn't say anything to him, she just listened carefully and that made it clear to Chai that she was really there, that she didn't force him to do anything, and that it was completely up to him if he wanted to continue talking.

"My arm, it... well, it wasn't in great shape before I arrived at the Vandelay campus. I've had problems with it since I was a little kid, but I didn't really understand it. You know how kids are..."

But somewhere inside, he always sensed that something was wrong, that whenever the ball suddenly fell out of his hand or when he barely could hold an object in them, he felt anxious and different, weaker than the others.

"Well, it gradually got worse. There were days when I couldn't even lift it up, when I looked like an idiot as I dropped my books on the floor at the beginning of my college life, the doctors said it was some kind of disease, but I don't even remember the details. I never really cared much about it."

Because whatever it was, it didn't matter. He didn't need to know the name of what was limiting him because whatever the opponent was, Chai was going to fight it head on and win, heal and fulfill his dream.

"The only thing I cared about at that time was music, and as soon as the idea of music entered my head, I began to desire something, I wanted to do something..."

"You wanted to play the guitar..." Korsica added cautiously and Chai nodded with a smile as he once again ran his fingers over the strings of the beautiful musical instrument in his lap.

“Yeah... I wanted to play guitar...”

"But that hasn't happened until now... Has the disease started to progress further, Chai?" She received a nod in response, Chai began to examine his robotic hand again, not even realizing how it was slightly shaking. Korsica had a better reach of him now since she sat down closer, so her hand reappeared on his shoulder.

"I could literally die if nothing was done, I'm sure they told me that several times too, but... I just didn't listen. The only thing I cared about was the guitar. I just wanted to play it."

He still didn't stop touching the instrument, Korsica could see how nervous he was from what he was saying and she too, felt an unknown weight on her heart. She felt like Chai had never told anyone about this before, that she was the first to hear him out, but then she remembered how close he and Peppermint were. There was no way Korsica was now the only one who knew.

"I was so determined to do something about it, to get my hand to work the way it should, but then I was forced to see the doctor again when I had a really bad day... They told me the arm had to go or it wouldn't be the only thing that won't be able to move... That's really scary to hear, y-you know?”

"It was so bad that they decided to amputate? That's..."

“That's when I gave up, yeah."

There was another silence, now Chai strummed the guitar only occasionally and Korsica felt that she knew Chai a little more again. It always seemed to her that there was something more behind that stupid smile, that he, like her, had gone through a lot of life's disappointments but ignored the memories of them.

But those same memories, along with Kale Vandelay, came to haunt him into the future.

"All that... dedication to getting better and finally learning how to play the guitar went away, because I realized for the first time that it was never going to happen. I stopped talking to a few friends from college, I ended up quitting because I didn't see the point anymore... Should I have died or lose my arm? What fucking kind of choice is that?" He laughed softly, but Korsica could hear the desperation and a bit of pain in that laugh. Chai, their smiling and silly, crazy Chai now put his guitar down beside him, disconnected it from his robotic hand and lowered his head so that Korsica couldn't look him in the face.

“I was such a loser, I just stopped trying... I just gave up."

"Chai, you were not... It was obviously traumatic for you and we all process such things differently. You could have lost your arm and your dream, don't be so hard on yourself..." She knew that she probably had no right to say something like that, Korsica was always trying to be hard on herself. It helped her put in the necessary work and cooperation with Kale to present herself as successful and reliable, so that Kale would finally trust her.

Now the thought of his trust made her stomach turn upside down.

"There are so many people in this world without arms and legs, Korsica, and did they give up? Did they stop doing everything that made them human because they had one limb less? But I ignored the problem until it came all crashing down on me... I was an idiot and it was all my fault...”

"Everyone has a right to feel bad Chai, and that includes you. Just because others got though it doesn't mean you had to try to be happy, it just means you have other strengths. And I'm so glad you confided in me, because you know what that means? That you're starting to put all this behind you, you're getting it all out and you're learning from it."

And she was probably right. Something heavy disappeared from him whenever he spoke words from his past. He was also finding that Korsica was an excellent listener, she knew when to touch Chai and how to respond so that he didn't feel like he was alone. She had been like that since she joined them but Chai was still driven by all that adrenaline, not saying a word about himself and who he was. He was glad they could catch up on it all now.

"I remember that feeling of desperation, of wanting to give up when I was little and our town was falling into ruin, Chai. I know I didn't have that much common sense yet. I was too young, I guess it can't be compared... But something connects us, right? Because help finally came and put our lives in order..."

“Yeah... help...” He raised his arm again, twisting his palm around and continuing to examine it as if seeing it for the first time.

“How did you feel? When you heard about the Armstrong project, I mean... I can imagine how excited you were."

“You can't, Korsica, trust me." He chuckled softly as he remembered the moment he passed a Vandelay Technologies ad, the one which was looking for volunteers for a project, the one that could completely change his life.

"It was the day I had to decide if I wanted to go through with the procedure, it was up to me and it felt like fate... I took the ad for the project home, I immediately contacted them... I started fucking crying when they told me that they had chosen me and assured me that everything would go well. I could learn to play the guitar!"

Korsica then pointed at it, Chai took the guitar in his lap again with a smile and played a few notes to prove his point. At the same time, he saw how the woman smiled back at him, the atmosphere was pleasant again.

"So...yeah, I was so excited and I didn't care about anything else that I didn't read the terms and conditions, I was full of energy, it was happening out of nowhere that I didn't care what they wanted from me, I was okay with everything if it meant that I would get that that great robot arm... And you know how that ended. I'm sure it was written somewhere in the papers, that my hand was for picking up trash around campus and that they would get rid of me if it somehow didn't end well, but before I started wondering about that, so many things happened, they started hunting me, I met Peppermint and you guys, we destroyed the entire management of the company, we kinda saved the world... And to think that all this happened just because I wanted to play the guitar..."

“So Vandelay meant a lot to you too… We both fell into his trap and then kicked his ass for it." She raised her fist, brought it closer to Chai and he immediately bumped into it with his own. But the man still looked a bit nervous, he still had a lot on his mind and started talking before he could think about it.

"I don't think my fight is over, Korsica. Those dreams I have, Kale appears in them every night, torturing me and controlling my mind, I've even started to see him next to my bed and I'm afraid he's after me, that he'll come even if he's dead... I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy and I'm afraid that soon, I'll give up everything again because of the pain..." He lightly grabbed his head, felt how it started to hurt and how Korsica carefully put an arm around his shoulders. At that moment, he began to speak quietly, perhaps thinking that he would not have to listen to himself like that.

“I don't want to give up everything, I don't want to give up Vandelay technologies, I don't want to give up on you all... But what if that happens?"

“It won't happen, Chai." She gave him a light shake, which brought Chai to his senses and he saw her attempt to show him a genuine smile.

"Because you're already taking the first steps to not give up and to keep fighting. Otherwise you wouldn't have told me about it, would you? Otherwise, you'd have closed in yourself even more. This is defiance, and I'm ready to help you with this fight as well as the others. Peppermint knows, right? You two are so close I'd be surprised if you..." She stopped talking as soon as she saw the man's face, full of shame, that told her the exact opposite of what she was talking about was happening.

“You and CNMN, I haven't told anyone else yet... I feel like I can't even look Peppermint in the eye."

"Chai, don't you think she could provide just the support you need to silence your past? Her leg..."

'See? I didn't give up because I'm not a loser like you. I was a big girl, I never thought my life was over, I'm not that stupid.' The words from his dream replayed in his head but when he was awake, they were hard to believe. She would never say such a thing to him, she was important to him a well as he was for her and she would be able to listen to him just like Korsica did.

"I just think she's a lot more heroic than I am..."

"Chai, you've fought giant killer robots and former crazy management, I think your bravery will be on the same level by now. She's an amazing woman and we both know that very well, take the time to talk to her, okay? But I appreciate it, really. Thank you for opening up and telling me everything, you know I'm always here for you, right?" The man nodded and finished the last note, Korsica finished noddind to the melody and even though a little worry about Chai passed through her body after everything he told her, she was relaxed because she finally got to the bottom of what was bothering Chai so much.

"And I'm here for you too... You know, if you need to know some tips on how to make Peppermint fall in love with you even more than she already has..."

"Chai!" Her cheeks quickly turned red, something that often happened now in Peppermint's presence and Chai thought the expression suited her. Certainly more so than when she just blindly and stoically following Kale's orders.

"What? It's nice to see you two together. I'm glad you started something there, you complement each other nicely."

"Peppermint is a wonderful person, Chai, but we don't want to rush anything just yet, we're all still kind of recovering from everything that happened, she has a lot of catching up to do with her mother and I... I have to work out which of our millions of security systems was the weaker one that some idiot tried to hack into." She sighed loudly when she realized that she still had work to do, Chai would really like to help but he knew almost nothing about the security of this place and suspected that he would just make her work even more uncomfortable.

"Well, you're amazing, so I'm sure you'll figure it out. I still have about a million districts of the entire island to remember in order to be a 'good Vandelay representative'. There are so many...so many useless rooms!"

"Tell me about that. When I first started here, I tried to find toilets and went into ten different rooms dedicated to coffee machines before I found it. But you'll get used to it, don't worry." They both laughed lightly, Korsica reached out her hand to playfully ruffle his hair and Chai smiled at her again.

"Thank you... for listening to me, really. I guess my pride wouldn't let me say anything before, I didn't want to look like someone pathetic... But you're my family, you deserve to know the shit I've been through."

"I thank you as well, Chai, for trusting me. For trusting me now and when we first met face to face. And I want is to make sure you have a pleasant life here, so I'll do my best. Ask for help whenever you feel like it, okay?"

Now with a big smile, the young man nodded and touched his musical instrument for the last time in this early morning.

"Last song?"

“Last song, Chai."

So he played, Korsica was snapping her fingers as they both happily nodded their heads, the sun slowly rose higher and higher and before they knew it, they had company.

"What on earth are you two doing here?" The previously mentioned Peppermint said as she went to see where the two had gone and Chai realized they had been out longer than they thought.

"Just relaxing, Peppermint. Before I have to fall into the clutches of Vandelay security again. Shall we go in?" She turned to the man, but he just shook his head and motioned for her to go inside with the other woman first.

"I'll stay here for a little longer, but I won't keep you. Thanks for the chat, Korsica."

“Likewise, Chai." And she waved at him as she walked away with Peppermint.

Peppermint also turned to Chai before she left, a little worry showed on her face but none of them noticed.

Chai looked further away with the guitar in his hands for a while, took another look at his artificial palm and pressed it to his chest with a sigh. He will never give up again.

Chapter Text

Chai pressed his hands tightly together, a slender neck was between them and a pained scream passed through his ears.

"Are you enjoying this, Chai?"

“Very much, Master."

Peppermint resisted him, tried to push him away, but the lack of air combined with almost no energy were not doing her any favors.

"Ch-chai, s-s-stop-"

"Why should he stop? Chai is enjoying this, he's loving it, isn't he?"

"Yes, Master." He squeezed even harder, the woman was already starting to suffocate in his grip and Chai did nothing to help her. He actually couldn't, Kale wouldn't let him. He didn't let him when he twisted Macaron's neck, or when he ripped off CNMN's head, not even when he impaled Korsica with her own weapon.

And he doesn't stop even when Peppermint's getting strangled with Kale's technology.

“Chai, say how much you appreciate her."

“I appreciate you, Peppermint."

"Shut the fuck up Kale, b-bring him back! Just leave him alone..."

She cried, then stopped resisting and Kale quickly returned Chai's control over his body. It was too late, Peppermint's head exploded due to the excessive pressure and Chai was covered in her blood, the woman's body fell to the ground and the young man fell to his knees with her, clutching his head desperately and shaking like crazy.

He killed them. He killed them all and it was all his fault.

"That's a beautiful sight, Chai. Do you really want to resist me any longer? Can you even resist me anymore? Do you have the strength?"

Chai couldn't say anything to him, only screams came out of his mouth as he looked at the streams of his family's blood and when he managed to stay quiet, his breaths came out painful and wheezing.

"It's not so bad Chai, now you can work for me. Let's destroy Roxanne's empire together and build what I've dreamed of. You'll help me, won't you?"

He wrapped his arms around him, surrounded him with all his disgusting darkness and smiled, he still had the upper hand.

Chai didn't want to give up, he promised. But his family was dead, everyone was gone, he had no one left, so what was he supposed to do now?

Give up and join Kale? Did he even have a choice?

He had enough.

***

Peppermint knew.

She lived without friends and loved ones for a long time, especially at the moment when she left her mother and set off on her own journey of discovery. She had a lot of experience, but the loneliness started to catch up with her and when she learned about what her brother had done to the company Roxanne had built with her heart and ideals, she knew that she regretted many of her decisions.

Peppermint worked long nights, managed to connect with others who wanted to rebel, but it wasn't what her heart looked for. She hadn't met another person in years, she had to be locked in her hiding place and it frustrated her when she found out that she had come across something that she couldn't reach on her own anymore.

And then Chai appeared, that idiot who seemed to intentionally irritate her with almost every word he said and did the exact opposite of what Peppermint told him. The one who was extremely full of himself and the one who didn't seem to know the concept of cooperation at all.

She hated it. She hated that the first person she had come face to face with in a long time was someone who had pushed her away, but the future of Vandelay technologies was more important than her own feelings at that moment.

Peppermint was glad she never gave up on him. She was able to recognize that Chai was changing, that he was growing, and that cooperation was not bad at all for him. His silly jokes and schemes eventually started to make her happy, she really appreciated his comforting words when she confided in them about her family and when Roxanne decided that the man was right for their company, she couldn't agree more.

He was like a brother to her, like the brother she wanted all her life, and the more she grew closer to him, the more she could recognize his problems.

So of course she knew. Every night when Chai woke up, Peppermint woke up with him. She was a light sleeper and whenever he left their hideout, she rubbed her eyes and asked herself what the hell was going on. But she still refused to confront him, it didn't seem right to her. Maybe he just liked night walks, maybe he just did some work for Vandelay tech. Besides, Peppermint often went out alone at night and even though she was sure Chai knew about it, he never asked.

It was her privacy and Chai's was Chai's, that was until she overheard his conversation with Macaron and began to wonder if something worse was really going on. The words about the smaller man not looking well, about him having a nightmare, she still didn't want to dwell on it until another conversation with CNMN woke her up. She fell asleep right after it seemed like the robot would take good care of him, but even the beginning of their interaction was terrifying for her.

Sleep Paralysis. One that sounded pretty scary.

His waking up and talking about having another nightmare while he was hanging out with Korsica was the last straw for her. Chai was visibly suffering, for who knows how long, and she would feel guilty if she didn't even talk to Chai about it. She had been planning to do this for a long time but never got the perfect opportunity, she or Chai always had work to do or the hideout was so crowded that such a conversation would just be awkward.

But the perfect situation arose today. Macaron and CNMN were called to work for a night shift and Korsica was supposed to spend the whole day there as well to fix the security problem she finally managed to find. So she was alone in the shelter with Chai in the evening, he was playing with 808 on the couch, for which he also didn't have much time lately, and Peppermint was working on a few files on her personal computer.

She slept more in the morning so she wouldn't fall asleep early, she wanted to spend the whole night awake after all.

"It's quite late now, don't you think?" He said as if on cue, released 808 from his lap, and the cat ran to her owner who lovingly stroked her head.

"Then go to sleep, Chai. You don't have to wait for me." She saw him hesitate, further evidence that he was starting to dread sleep, and when he saw that Peppermint wasn't planning on going to sleep at all, he gave up and lay down while covering himself with the blanket. He was exhausted, the lack of sleep was catching up with him more and more and this only caused Chai to be unable to concentrate on his work properly.

“Okay... If anything happens, wake me up." And it didn't take long for Peppermint to catch a glimpse of his sleeping face.

"What am I going to do with him, 808..." She sighed as the cat made it to her desk and started finishing up the work she had scheduled for today. Her next goal was to keep an eye on Chai, to watch how he slept and when, how, he woke up. Peppermint will probably be able to deal with some deep breathing and scared expressions, but if he goes into another sleep paralysis, she'll have to remember CNMN's words and instructions she managed to overhear before she fell asleep that day.

“Mmh... Very much, Master...”

Out of nowhere she heard some words coming from the couch, maybe an hour had passed since Chai fell asleep and it looked like he was already dreaming. She exchanged a confused look with 808, then saw the man turn onto his other side and there was a moment of silence before he spoke again.

"I appreciate you, Peppermint..."

His two palms were pressed together and the woman didn't know what to think. Was he dreaming about her? He appreciated her? That didn't sound like a bad dream, was she taking the whole situation too seriously? Chai's dreams were the only thing she could think about lately, she wanted to help him and take care of him again so that he could be that smiling idiot again, but it seemed to her that she hadn't seen a sincere smile on him for an awfully long time.

She was finally snapped out of her thoughts by 808, who suddenly started meowing loudly and ran over to the couch to jump on it. She twirled her tail, tried to find the best place to lay down and finally found it near Chai's chest.

She could feel how fast his music player was playing, the information was sent to Peppermint and when it appeared on her screen, she was stunned and couldn't stop wondering.

Chai's brainwaves, the time of how long he was asleep and how many sudden movements he made, the percentage probability of whether he had a nightmare and how long it lasted, those were all features of 808 which Peppermint had completely forgotten about and which she was sure she had disabled a long time ago .

Now was not the time for that, what interested her were the numbers she saw in front of her and the fact that Chai was now in a nightmare despite the fact that it didn't look like that at first glance. But 808 was all about undeniable facts, Peppermint tried to figure out what to do now and finally turned to her cat, who was now snuggling up to Chai.

"Should I wake him up, 808?" But another message was immediately sent to her, informing her that Chai was not in a situation where a sudden awakening would help him. It could have hurt him even more and put him under more stress, so the woman finally decided to wait to see if the man woke up on his own or would sleep through the nightmare without waking up.

It was strange. She had been through a few nightmares herself but when it came to someone else's nightmares, she felt helpless, especially when it was someone like Chai.

The numbers started going up out of nowhere, Chai's breathing got faster and faster and Peppermint's heart skipped a beat when she heard the scream. Chai suddenly sat up, the blanket he was covered with fell and sweat was running down his forehead. He continued to breathe deeply, holding his robotic hand to his chest and the other palm found his artificial shoulder, his eyes were wide and he looked like he had just gone through the most traumatic moment of his life.

This was the first time she had seen him waking up from a nightmare with her own eyes, it looked bad.

"Hey, Chai?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." He clutched his head in an instant and Peppermint saw tears begin to rise to the surface. He was shaking, not responding to the woman or 808, and Peppermint felt lost, sick.

“Chai-” She wanted to touch his shoulder but the cat immediately pushed her hand away, so Peppermint took a step back. Yeah, touch probably wasn't the best idea now either, this wasn't the sleep paralysis he experienced when he was with CNMN, something else was going on and 808's program obviously knew what.

"I-I didn't mean to hurt you, Peppermint, I don't want this, I'm sorry, it wasn't me, I didn't kill you..."

His words were so weak and full of panic, he didn't realize where he was and probably didn't even know that Peppermint was there with him. It hurt to listen to everything, it hurt to hear everything Chai said and it hurt to be so useless.

Not too long ago, she said the same thing about Chai whenever he didn't act exactly according to her plan, she was angry with him, furious, because she couldn't see Chai as a person, just someone who came along and suited her to the goal she was trying to achieve. But now it wasn't some stranger, it was Chai, and Chai needed help.

Was he dreaming about killing her before?

“Chai, it's fine, you're awake now." She tried to get him out of it in any other way, she knelt down in front of him and waved her palms, but the man was looking down and did not react to any movements at all.

"She's dead, everyone's dead, I'm sorry, I'll do anything..."

808 was sending her heart rate warnings, Chai was panicking more and more and Peppermint was feeling the same way, more and more sweat was running down his face and the woman's chest was starting to burn along with her eyes.

"Chai!"

She realized how scared she was.

"I'll do anything, I'll do anything, Kale, just leave me, leave me alone-!"

She did it before she realized what she was doing, but the mention of her brother triggered something in her and she reached out to give him one hard slap. This immediately silenced Chai, 808 hid her face behind her paw in defeat and Peppermint looked at her palm before she came back to her senses and freaked out even more.

"Fuck, I didn't want to do that!" She immediately put her hands behind her back, her face was now all red as well and as she focused again, she realized that Chai was looking right at her for the first time this night.

He no longer looked scared or stressed, now mainly confused.

"P-peppermint? You're..."

"I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me, but you looked so scared and you mentioned my brother, I got mad out of nowhere and-" But Chai cut her off immediately, he quickly reached out his hands to her and pressed her into his tight embrace.

"You're alive... And you apologized when you hit me, you're real..."

Peppermint awkwardly patted his back, but Chai wouldn't let her go and it looked like he really wanted to make sure she was here with him, that her heart was still beating and that she was alive.

"Eh... of course I'm real. And I never died Chai, you just had a nightmare."

"I thought you hated me... And then I was brain-washed to... I'm just so glad to be awake..." He squeezed her even tighter than before and this way, Peppermint could at least feel his rhythm slowing down again. His breathing was still heavy and irregular, but the woman was glad that at least he seemed sane now.

"How could I hate you after everything we've been through together, Chai..." She couldn't even if she really tried, something that would have made Peppermint laugh if she heard that the first time she met Chai.

“I-I killed your brother...”

"You didn't kill him, Chai. Kale decided to explode himself and you saved so many people... Of course I never thought he deserved to die, but if it meant saving a lot of other innocent lives, you shouldn't worry this much..."

She didn't tell anyone about the night after Chai successfully defeated Kale and her mother regained control of the company. She cried, cried for her brother and for the fact that if she hadn't left her mother, maybe he could be a completely different person, maybe he could be alive.

She tried to justify his death as best she could, but in the end still felt guilty.

"But even if he's dead... He's still here..." He tapped his head with his finger, Peppermint realized that she'd punched Chai mainly because he started talking about Kale and she glanced at 808 who was meowing softly in the meantime, trying to get into Chai's lap again.

This was all very familiar indeed.

"Are you having nightmares about Kale?"

"Every night now... Whenever I remember that moment when he took over my head, I start to get scared, I feel sick... I start to hate everything about me and him, I... I'm sorry I'm saying this so late, you of all people deserve to hear this..."

When he looked at her face again, he saw similar fear and anguish, as if those words confirmed her worst fears and she carefully pulled away from him.

Her words dropped in volume.

"...I was so worried about this. I was scared that someone would get hurt by facing Kale but when we beat him, when we finally had peace, nothing like this was supposed to happen! But now you look like a zombie, you wake up every night and go god knows where, you go into sleep paralysis and I didn't want this to happen, especially not to someone like you!"

Now Chai looked at her in surprise, he had no idea that Peppermint heard him every night, but at least it sounded like she didn't hear everything. He definitely didn't want to scare her by the fact he nearly killed himself in his sleep on top of it all.

"I didn't want my brother to hurt anyone else..."

“I want this all to stop, Peppermint... And CNMN told me I should trust myself and others more to get through this."

He finally began paying attention to 808 as well, dropping her into his lap and starting to pet her lightly while Peppermint, now with her head full of thoughts about how much worse her brother had become, watched with a slightly calmer mood and a small smile.

“Well, maybe CNMN is right, what do you say?”

'Trust Peppermint, she will be the one who will understand you the most.' Korsica told him again in her head and Chai thanked her in his thoughts.

"Do you have time to listen to the story of my whole life?" He chuckled softly and as Peppermint moved closer to him with a small smile and a nod, Chai handed her a piece of his blanket and placed a hand on his chest. He still didn't feel the best, the shock he went through a while ago was still marking him, but now that he had the other woman with him, he could forget about it.

Because Peppermint was alive.

So he spoke. Unlike with Korsica, he now started with his very first nightmares, the ones that weren't so bad, those where Kale just stood there, repeating how with one snap he was able to take control, and continued with the ones where Kale took his limbs and his friends and his mind, the one where Peppermint hit him so hard that he fell into the darkness, but how she managed to pull him out of that darkness again with her previous slap. He talked about his nights wandering the city until he was exhausted, when he would talk to Macaron and CNMN, when he would sit outside with Korsica and tell her something no one had ever heard before. How his whole story with him and the Vandelay technologies actually started, how he wouldn't have been here at all if he hadn't been given the chance, and when he stopped talking, he realized that Peppermint couldn't look at him anymore.

She looked happy and sad at the same time with tears in her eyes and Chai decided that was enough sad and depressing stories for now.

"Come on, there's no need for tears. I just said how you have it more together than I do!"

She also laughed at his poor attempt to make her happy and then let out a loud sigh.

"I'm not brave, Chai. While you immediately decided to fight, I stayed in the shadows, waiting for an impossible opportunity. When I was supposed to help my mother with the business, I was afraid of the responsibility, of not being able to be my own person... And when the accident happened, I cried and cried, I wouldn't have this leg without her and her amazing abilities , but you... Did you have someone to support you, Chai? Someone who comforted you and told you everything was going to be okay, that you will not die... I got all this bravery from my mother.”

Chai remained silent for a moment, seeming to hesitate and think about revealing what he didn't really want to tell Korsica. He just didn't need that woman to feel sorry for him anymore, that was all, but Peppermint was Peppermint and she deserved to know a lot more by now.

"It often happens that I get into this state... A state where I just want to be alone and not listen to anyone, because that's how I lived my whole life after I got the news about the amputation... I told one person, it wasn't a very detailed explanation, but they... Let's just say their answer didn't help me much, okay? I was called a 'lazy wimp who just needs any excuse to be an even lazier fuck', and that's exactly what I became. It was easier, not talking to anyone and doing everything by yourself... because then you don't have to live up to anyone's expectations, you know? Then no one has to wonder about why you're so useless..."

Peppermint looked as if she had missed something, she searched her memory and then lightly grabbed Chai's hand.

“Is this why you were so stubborn the first time I offered to help you?"

He also remembered the moment Peppermint had asked him through 808 for cooperation and he had turned her down without giving it much thought. Even after he realized that he probably really needed her for help, he wasn't happy about it, Peppermint was also upset about everything he did and when he hoped she would leave him, she still stayed and stuck with him.

How would it end if one day, she had enough of him and let him go away on his own before they could defeat Kale?

"I didn't mean to hurt you... I didn't mean to hurt you or anyone else, and not myself again. Because what if the moment comes again when I leave you all because I'm just not enough? I already feel like I don't belong here, I'm still useless and those fucking nightmares-!”

“When I left my mother and Kale began to change Vandelay Technologies, I had horrible dreams about him... Every morning I woke up screaming and crying, shaking and yelling for help... It was unbearable, I was alone and I was afraid that when Kale finds me, finds out that I was plotting his destruction, he would come for me and kill me..."

Bringing her knees closer to her chest, she let out a loud breath and Chai could only stare at her.

He had no idea, not even a tiny bit even if it made sense. Kale may have been Chai's role model before, but he was Peppermint's brother and that bond must have meant so much more to the woman. He himself was an only child but if he had a sibling, he would certainly like to get along with them, he felt that this was the way the woman wanted it too. What in the world made Kale the way he was?

“That was the main motivation for building 808, you know? Her programs were simple in the beginning, but one of her main functions was to control my dreams, the nightmares... And it seems those functions have been turned on to serve you as well. I thought I deleted them..." She took her cat in her hands, the animal acted as if she had no idea what her owner was talking about and Chai lovingly scratched her behind the ears as a thanks.

"Aw, 808 really is the savior of all of us..." Visibly enjoying all the praise and attention, she began to purr and wiggle her tail in happiness. When Peppermint saw that it made Chai feel better, she placed her next to him again and he continued with his questions.

"And the nightmares were over?"

"Not really. When it was just me and 808, I still got a few, but they were pretty rare and not that bad... Since you joined me, they completely disappeared." She could see that she had given Chai a lot of hope by saying these words. Because if they could stop appearing to her, he suddenly saw no reason why they couldn't stop with him too. The words worked, the man just needed to hear them from more people and from someone like Peppermint, who he had visibly developed the strongest bond with.

“So maybe, I really am brave, Chai... But only because of great people like you around."

"Stop it, I'm blushing here..." He nervously scratched the back of his head and Peppermint saw that he wasn't exaggerating with his words. His face was still red, either from how hot he felt or from the fact that the woman was now throwing him one compliment after another. And she didn't want to stop, she wanted to shower him with more and more until he regained that hope, until he saw again that he didn't have to give up because there was a way to defeat that demon again.

"So that means we're going to make a real tough guy out of you too, dude. This is going to be easy for us."

"Of course. It'll be fine Peppermint, so don't worry-"

"No Chai, I have to worry. You looked like you were going to die when you woke up and we still haven't taken care of it. Just because it can be dealt with doesn't mean we should take it lightly. It takes time." With these words, she got up, sat down at her computer and started writing a few emails which she immediately sent out. Chai wanted to go check on her, but was stopped by 808, who refused to get off his lap.

"Just try to go back to sleep, okay? I'll analyze some data and then see if I can come up with any more solutions that might help you. But for now, don't stay up all night, okay? 808 will make sure you have the best sleep possible." She was right, as soon as Chai lay down, the cat took a place near his chest where it warmed him pleasantly and the man's eyes began to slowly close.

"Everyone wants to help me so bad..." He said it more to himself, but Peppermint heard him very well and laughed with a sigh.

"Of course, idiot. Because you helped us and because you're part of our big family now. It's true that the beginnings may have been a little awkward, but what matters is who we are now. And you're being a pretty cool guy these days."

“I just don't want to disappoint you." She knew what he was talking about again, so she got up from her computer for the last time this night and approached his couch.

"You won't give up, Chai. And even if you tried..." She moved closer to him again so she could lean down and lay her finger right where the music player was giving him the rhythm. "Me and the others will not just let you go. We will grab you from all sides and not let you give up."

Maybe that was what weighed him down so much his entire life. He had no one to even try to pull him out of his predicaments, to call him when he suddenly stopped talking to them and to tell him that everything was fine. But now, back at the computer, was Peppermint, the one he was sure would start pulling him even out of a grave if he decided to leave. Surely the others would follow her in this, because they were simply like that.

So Chai really didn't want to give up, he didn't even have a chance in this situation. He could only go higher and higher and defeat Kale again, whose power in his head was gradually getting weaker and weaker.