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It was finally time. Stan was going to propose to Kyle. He planned out the entire day. In the morning he would have Kyle have breakfast in bed, and they would revisit their old dating spots from when they were younger. For lunch he takes him to his favorite restaurant by the sea, while he listens to Kyle’s blabble about his work and gossip about coworker drama. Then they would simply walk down the coast, talking about friends and family as Stan gradually takes Kyle near the docks.
He offers Kyle a nightly ride on the boat. “Hell no, I’m not going on that.” his lover declined, “Oh come on, just like old times?” Stan hops on the boat, lending his arm out to take Kyle. “Stan, it’s about to be dark. It’s dangerous to boat at night”
“We’ve done this a lot of times before, now hop on,”
Kyle groans and he takes Stan’s hand.
When they get farther from the shore, Kyle starts to notice petals on the water. “Look! Someone probably has been picking out petals.” They both continue their banter until they hear rustling from nearby bushes, grabbing Kyle’s attention. He stared at the same spot for a while before Stan clears his throat. “So,”
He stops rowing, confusing Kyle. “Kyle–” Stan was about to say his speech until he felt vomit going up his throat. “Stan ? Are you okay ? You look constipated.”
Stan breathes deeply and smiles at Kyle, “Yeah, totally”
“Maybe we should get back-”
“No !”
“No ?”
Kyle looks at him confused, “If you're feeling sick, we should probably go back. It is starting to get chilly.”
“Your cold ?”
“What–”
“Here,” Stan immediately took off his jacket, wrapping it around Kyle. “Stan, YOU’RE cold, you need this more than I do.” His lover started taking off his jacket until Stan stopped him. “No–” Stan’s cheeks puffed as vomit was piling up once again and Kyle stares at him.
“That’s it ! We’re going back” Kyle started grabbing the pedal, and Stan suddenly stood up, shaking the boat. “What the fuck !? Stan, you're going to topple the boat !”
“I’m sorry ! I just–”
Stan looked away quickly, vomiting out the boat and Kyle stood up, immediately going up to aid his lover. “It’s okay Stan, let’s just go home–”
“No !”
The other groans, starting to feel frustrated. “Okay, what is up with you ?”
“Kyle, I love you !”
Kyle looks at him like he’s deranged, “Okay ? I love you too ?”
“No, I love love you !” Stan looks at him desperate, his original speech being blanked out.
“I love you too Stan ! Look, I know we’ve basically taken a trip down memory lane, but seriously? Redoing our confessions ??” Kyle takes his balled fists up to his hair in frustration, looking out to the sea. Lights are starting to illuminate in the distance, and Kyle starts to notice a bunch of lanterns coming out from the same bush he saw earlier.
“Kyle,”
Stan whispers lovingly, taking back Kyle’s attention. And as Kyle looked down, Stan was already on one knee, his hands holding out a box, and Kyle’s face was beginning to grow as red as a tomato. “Holy shit dude”
Stan smiles wider, “Kyle, I-I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me ?”
Kyle stares at him shocked before finally sobbing and accepting his proposal. “God fuck Stan, Yes ! I would love to.” They both latched onto each other, Stan putting the ring on his fiance.
“Took you long enough !”
Stan and Kyle shot their heads at the sound, it was coming from the damn bush. “Cartman ?!” Kyle yelled in frustration and looked at Stan, who smiled anxiously. “We’ve been waiting here for like 30 minutes, you said it would take 20 minutes max!”
“Shut the fuck up Cartman,” Kenny stood up as well, dusting off the dirt from his jacket and coming out their hiding spot to help his friends off the boat. “Seriously you guys, how the fuck did Kyle not suspect a thing?”
“Shut up, you fatass !” Kyle shot at him, as he held onto Kenny to get off the boat, and promptly proceeded to help Stan. “No, for real, did you really not think Stan would propose to you tonight ?” Kenny asks.
“Nah, Stan usually does these kinds of things,”
Cartman whistled, “Apparently it’s Kyle’s world and we’re all just living in it.”
“Whatever fatass.”
They all finished cleaning everything and started walking down the shoreline once again, Kyle explaining what happened on the boat and laughing about the shit Stan pulled. “Wait dude ! Let me see your ring !”
“Don’t ! Kenny might steal it”
And Cartman had never been smacked faster in his entire life.