Chapter Text
"Are you ready, kid?" grandma asks. Like I'll ever be. I just sight and nod my head.
"Why didn't my parents drove me here? Am I that much of a disappointment to them?" I ask while I step out of the car.
She looks at me with pity in her eyes. "It's not like that, sweetheart… It was just too much for them." Oh! Ok, so I didn't disappoint them, I only ruined them. Cool. I didn't even bother to react. She took my bag from the back of the car, but didn't hand it to me. Instead of that, she puts her hand on my shoulder and gently squeezes it.
"I know that it's hard for you too. If it wasn't, we would not be standing here, but please understand the fact that your parents still loves you even after what happened." I can't look at her face. I can't because I know that crying wouldn't help any of us.
"Yeah." I answer quietly. I'm not sure if she heard it, tho.
Step by step, we're getting closer to the main entrance of a mental health hospital. Once we enter, the only thing I can smell is the disinfection. I do my best not to gag on my words. "You're gonna visit me, right?" I say while looking at the disgustingly clean floor.
"Of course I will!" She almost yells in response. A few people in the hallway turned their heads in our direction.
"There's no need for shouting, Nana…" I whisper, hoping that I didn't upset her. She just pats me on my back and makes her way to the office. After a knock on the door, some middle-aged woman appears in the door frame. She moves her brown curls from her face.
"Oh, you must be Finn Martyn!" She says after one look at my face.
"Yes, I know loony at first sight. Where is my room?"
Nana smacks my forearm. "Be polite! This lady seems very nice."
"Sorry. Bad day." I apologize, offering her my hand. She doesn't waste time and shakes it right away.
"It's nice to meet you. I'm the principal nurse. My name's Isabel. Please wait in the hallway because I need to fill some papers with your grandmother." She announced quickly before dragging Nana into the office.
Right. I just go to sit down on the nearest chair. This place is actually very quiet. I expected it to be more…crazy. I flinch at the sound of a familiar song that starts coming out of a speaker above me. "Hello to all listeners in St. Jude's hospital. This is your Eddie and I hope you're ready for our next song, "we're the champions" from Queen."
What the hell? The institute has its own radio? While I wait for Nana, I notice someone standing behind the entrance door ringing the bell. Hold on, why does he have a shovel? I get up to examine the situation. Before I get to the door, Isabel comes out of the office. "Fergus, where have you been? You are late!" She scolds him.
He just shrugged his shoulder, gave her the shovel and disappeared behind a corner. I'm just going to pretend that I didn't see this whole interaction.
Grandma came to me, gave me my bag and kissed me on a forehead. "I will come visit you on Thursday. Try to make some friends." She said and came out of the door. When she turned around, I was about to cry, but I managed to smile and waved at her.
"Your Nana Is a very kind lady. Come on, I will show you your room." Isabel said.
I was not happy to be here. Who even would be? It was stupid. Only because I did some bad decisions doesn't mean I have to be put into a mental hospital. I hated the idea of them taking away my freedom. But it apparently wasn't my choice.
She led my through the entire hallway, then we went up the stairs to the third floor. That's when things started to get interesting. Some guy with glasses ran beside us with a spoon in his hand. Another older man was chasing him and yelling to give it back.
I must have made a judgmental facial expression because Isabel was frowning at me.
"Wot?" I asked.
I almost didn't have control over my face. People were telling me my whole life that I'm really judgy, but in reality I was just confused. My face was showing confusion, the same way as judgment or mild anger.
"You will get used to other patients after some time. Do you like spending time with others?" She smiled in the most supportive way. "If so, we have a common room in the second floor. We also do a lot of group therapies, and we started planning some new social events. Would you be interested?" Isabel continued after a short pause.
"Nah I'm good. You could say I'm more of a loner… Aren't those events mandatory?"
She just looked at me, smiled and then started walking again. I followed her with gaze pinched to the floor. When we got to an end of the hall, she pointed to a door without a name tag. Every other room had a sign with names on its door.
"Am I gonna be alone?" I asked confused.
"Yes because of your condition It's better this way. If you make some progress, you might get a roommate." She opened the door and went inside. "You're not mad, are you? You're a loner, you said it yourself. Choose any bed you want to and put your things in the closet. Also, please change to your pajamas. I am going to check up on you in an hour. You can look around if you want." She announced before leaving.
At least she closed the door, I thought. She entered the room once again and looked at my shoes with a suspicion. I tilted my head to the side. "Give me your shoelaces, please. It's for everyone's safety." That's just great. I sat down on the bed beside me and took them off. When I handed them over to her, she didn't say anything else and left.
I wonder which things they took, so I started searching in my bag. They took my pencil, but left me the sketchbook. Really? How am I supposed to draw without any art supplies? They also took my phone, but I expected that.
Before we left our home, grandma gave me a list of things that are allowed in the mental hospital. While I was packing, she made sure that I didn't take anything bad with me. She said that it would only cause more trouble. She was helpful and somewhat casual about it at least. Not like other family members or my friends.
Well turns out they were fake friends after all what happened. I remember how we made promises to be always together when we were younger. But who would want to be friends with a crazy person?
__________
I was organizing my clothes in the closet when Isabel entered. "Hello, I'm here to check on you, as I said before. I see that you are settling in."
"Yeah, people usually get bored after staring at a wall after half an hour. I managed fifty minutes. The clock is extremely loud and annoying. I don't understand how can others stand it." I answer monotonously.
She wrote something down in the records. "Breakfast is at 8 am. I will wake you up. Sleep well Finn."