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Tommy couldn’t have a clear phone case. As cool as they were because you can put anything in them and show it off, he liked the picture in his phone case to be just for him. It was a simple polaroid he and Ranboo had taken months back before Ranboo left in November. Ranboo has a copy of it but he keeps it tucked behind the rare pokemon card in his case. Tommy wouldn’t want to have to put something over the picture because it was dear to him.
But now all Tommy really could do was watch all the pictures flood his timeline on twitter of Ranboo going out with friends because he was selfish like that. Because they already saw each other once Ranboo came back but it was brief and now everyone else got him.
Because Tommy was only a really good friend.
Tommy liked a photo a fan had posted of them and Ranboo and fucking Aimsey because Aimsey and Ranboo were always hanging out. Tommy loved Aimsey, sure. But he wanted to see Ranboo too. Ranboo did have other friends, sibling figures aside.
Tommy hadn’t realized he was on his main account when he liked the photo and now people were pointing it out. But he said nothing. He was stuck in #ranboo and couldn’t tear himself away from the photos.
Tommy wasn’t sure how to be something to Ranboo, he wasn’t sure how to be someone he could miss like he clearly missed Aimsey or how he always talks about missing Tubbo in the Cricket Crew gc because they haven’t had time to meet up yet. But Ranboo had seen everyone else. He did his job of showing up for a photo or for a day then leaving. Because it was enough for the others to show he cared.
But all Tommy could think about was summer nights shared on way too small of a bed, in the nights that Ranboo would go over so late at night because he had streamed during his usual time which was so late in the UK and he was always a sweet kind of tired. The kind where he would hold Tommy as they watched movies. The kind where he would leave those impossibly small kisses, as his arms kept Tommy close and safe.
Their last- their most recent kiss had been back in January. There was rain and a sunset and an ocean nearby. Because it couldn’t be a kiss kept in the safety of Tommy’s apartment like before that day. They didn’t have the time or the willpower to let themselves be that close. They would cave and for some reason neither of them wanted to cave. Tommy really didn't understand.
Tommy liked another photo and a notification appeared on his phone, RanbooLive is live! He must have missed the tweet from staring at others for long enough to bring a sting to his eyes. Ranboo was back in America now so this stream was set according to that. It was very late for Tommy, he realized. But that’s what 8 hours does to a person. Tommy clicked on the notification and listened to the soothing voice of the dirty blonde while his eyes were straining to stay open.
Tommy hardly made it 10 minutes before he fell asleep.
*
He slept in till 1pm. It had been too long since he had done that. Even when he was sick, he didn’t sleep in. The only times he’s ever slept in was with Ranboo. Back when he would steal him after calls with Tubbo or when Ranboo was there and the comfort was enough to keep him asleep for way too long. Tommy sat up and rubbed his eyes, closing out of twitch and looking at discord for any messages he may have missed.
RANBOO > I saw you watched the stream
RANBOO > you could have called
TommyInnit > I would have if I didn’t fall asleep
TommyInnit > it was bloody late, man
RANBOO > Oh shoot, you’re right
RANBOO > I was just getting used to sharing the same time as you
Tommy knew there was more. Ranboo was just getting used to sharing everything with him. It was the same as when he left in November. They get used to sharing a space, sharing a breath, sharing a secret of them. And maybe Ranboo wishes he never left. Maybe he wishes he never had to stop what they had because the constant stop and go was ruining them.
TommyInnit > we havent shared much since Jan
TommyInnit > we werent alone when we hung out when you came
TommyInnit > how we wanted it
RANBOO > what if we dont want that when i get home tomorrow?
TommyInnit > then.. I’ll meet you at yours when you get back
RANBOO > see you tomorrow Toms
TommyInnit > see you tomorrow
Tommy went to his messages next, Tubbo just asked him if he wanted to hang out. Tommy replied with a ‘meet you at yours in a few’. And he changed his sweatpants out for jeans and kept his current hoodie on. It was totally not a Ranboo hoodie or anything.
When they met up, they hugged, then they started their walk around the city. “Tubs.” Tommy started and Tubbo hummed. “Have you ever had a last kiss before?” Tommy sighed, “And has someone ever told you they loved you and just kind of went away.. Like not so much in the physical sense. Not when they can help it.”
“What girl broke your heart?” Tubbo asked, “I didn’t even know you were talking to anyone, better yet in love with anyone.”
Tommy rubbed the back of his neck, “Well I’m not- okay maybe but its not- we aren’t like dating. We’ve just cuddled and kissed and made all these promises and now it feels like I’ve been abandoned and it hurts. The la- the most recent kiss we shared was months ago and then when we saw each other recently we had other friends with us so we didn’t really act on whatever these feelings are.. I’m just confused. I feel like the only thing I’ve been doing since then was watch their life through pictures I see on social media because it feels like everything we had was forgotten or tossed aside.”
Tubbo stopped their walk and sat Tommy down on the nearby bench, “Tommy.. If someone ever let you get away then they arent worth it because you are an amazing person. Anyone would be lucky to have you, really. I’m honored enough to have you as my best friend so for someone to date you, they would be truly winning. It’s not easy for you to give your heart away so clearly this person, whoever they may be, is a good person. Maybe the next time you guys hang out, try to be alone and try to talk before you start making out, okay? Because that’s the only way you will be able to settle things between you guys.”
Tommy nodded and hugged Tubbo, burying his face into Tubbo’s chest. And Tubbo of course hugged him back.
—-----------
Ranboo loved his clear case, for the most part. He could show off his pokemon card. But he had to hide the polaroid of he and Tommy. The one he kept so sacred that he couldn’t imagine it anywhere else but always with him.
They were on the beach and the polaroid was of them holding ice cream cones so big neither could finish them (they looked like they would be on instagram they were so cosmetically large) and Tommy was kissing Ranboo’s cheek while they held their ice creams to hide the other half of his lower face, only letting the kiss be seen.
They always shared domestic moments like that. Kissing and cuddling and dreaming up a shared house with a dog. Ranboo would leave Tubbo’s night after night to go to Tommy’s place and return to Tubbo’s every day to make sure they could get content in for the fans since the fans wanted Beeduo.
The last time they gave into the domesticity was in January, the day before Ranboo went back home. It was a deep kiss filled with passion and colors like they had never seen before.
Ranboo stretched and thought about how bored he was, usually he would call Tommy when he had gotten this bored or just.. In general. But instead he decided to stream because Tommy had been pulling away lately and it worried Ranboo that Tommy was starting to lose those feelings they held so sacred.
Ranboo scanned his viewer list and noticed Tommy was there. Watching. But it was so late for him, Ranboo knew it now that he did the math. He was glad he hadn’t called because Tommy would more than likely wake up soon.
The stream lasted 5 whole hours. Ranboo was anxious about his and Tommy’s relationship breaking. He wanted them to at least stay close friends. He didn’t want to lose Tommy forever. And so he streamed until his body started literally begging him to stop.
Ranboo left Tommy a quick message before he called Tubbo.
RANBOO > I saw you watched the stream
RANBOO > you could have called
Tubbo answered right away, “Hey Bossman!”
“Toby, can I ask you for relationship advice?”
“Oh~ who’s the special someone?” Tubbo asked and Ranboo huffed.
“You’ll figure it out- but okay.. Basically, we talked to each other every night, more than you and I did way back when.”
“Damn, talk about whipped.” Ranboo rolled his eyes.
“And we’ve shared a lot of kisses and cuddles and deeper kisses.” Ranboo’s cheeks were a light pink and Tubbo snickered. “But,” Ranboo’s face fell, “But he’s been pulling away lately.. Like he doesnt have those same feelings.. The last time we shared anything intimate was January and now when we saw each other a few weeks ago, we had friends with us so we really couldn’t talk in both senses of the word.”
Tubbo hummed, “Well I saw you plan out a time to meet up again and you share actual meaningful words with each other about what you want before you go back to making out.”
Ranboo hummed, “You’re right, thank you. Go to bed.”
Tubbo scoffed, “Yeah yeah, goodnight boo, love ya.”
“Love ya too, Bee.”
Ranboo laid down and allowed himself to sleep for about 2 hours.
He woke up to Tommy responding to him which was nice and then he went on tiktok before he would go get breakfast.
-
Ranboo pulled up Twitter as he leaned on his kitchen counter. His parents had just gone off to work so he was pretty much alone. He almost wanted to stream but realized he would be off schedule and people would start questioning things.
Oh it’s a picture of Tommy and Tubbo.. Hugging on a bench? What kind of weirdo took that photo of them from afar. Oh and now they were being shipped. Rambo rolled his eyes and kept going down the #TommyInnit tag, liking photos of him and fans for a little too long.
People were starting to bring it up, so he stopped. He got himself food to try and suppress the ache in his chest and he went back to his room. Ranboo was tired, he hadn’t slept well last night but he hasn’t slept well at all since he stopped sharing the warmth with Tommy. But it seemed like Tommy couldn’t see just how in love Ranboo was.
Ranboo just wished Tommy would talk to him. But he was sure that Tommy was bored of him now and Ranboo was tired of feeling like he wasn’t loved back. Because every time they touched before, it could have always been the last time. What if their kiss in January was their last kiss. Then what? They try to pretend they’re normal? They try to pretend Tommy doesn’t give the cold shoulder one too many times and Ranboo disappears for hours after.
Many times in the warmth of a bed Tommy had said he was Ranboo’s. He said he would stay forever and Ranboo wished it was true. He wished Tommy would hold those words to as high a standard as Ranboo does. But Tommy was only giving him hope, something to hold him off with. Tommy can break the words at any time because they aren't each other’s. They are two people trying to navigate this mess they put themselves in.
Was Ranboo that disposable?
Ranboo set his phone down, that was enough of that. He was depressing himself by looking at those pictures and imagining this ghost-like life. He could see it, it was clear as day but he couldn't grab it. He couldn’t hold the life in his hands like he could hold a picture. Like he used to hold Tommy.
Ranboo went to his room and intentionally forgot to bring his phone with him as he started packing things up to take a leave.
-
“Sweetheart, Tommy is calling.” Ranboo’s mom said, walking into his room. Ranboo panicked and muted to the stream.
“Thank you, mom. But I’m streaming- I thought I texted you and dad.”
“You did.” She said as she handed the phone and let Ranboo answer it but mute. “But I know how you feel about this boy. So talk to him because you’ve hardly talked about him like before. It makes me sad to see you guys grow apart.” She left before Ranboo could protest and Ranboo just blinked a few times before switching the call to his pc and unmuting everything.
“Hello Tommy!” Ranboo said.
“Hello!” Tommy said happily, “Are you thinking about packing yet?” Are you all packed?
“I have, but I do still have a few days before I have to worry about it. I can’t wait to go home.” I can’t wait to see you.
“It’ll be great to have you back, we should meet up? Give the fans some content.” Tommy paused, “Allium duo, as Twitter would say.”
“Careful, you might summon the updates account, everyone will know about our meetup now.”
Tommy laughed the beautiful laugh that Ranboo loved oh so much, “You’ve been streaming long enough. End it and call with me. I’m tired.”
Ranboo hummed, “Sure thing.” He did his usual outro and moved the call to his phone, laying in his own bed. The two would talk for a while till one fell asleep, then the other would drift off right after.
*
When Tommy went to Ranboo’s they watched a movie, curled up on the couch with each other. “Toms, we should talk about everything.” Ranboo had said as they stood in the kitchen after getting drinks.
“Do you regret kissing me?” Tommy asked and Ranboo’s brows pinched together.
“I’m saying that we need to talk about the kisses, Tommy.” Ranboo said and Tommy crossed his arms over his chest.
“You’re doing that fucking thing again. It’s so annoying.” Tommy said and Ranboo’s face grew confused.
“What thing ?”
“The thing where you avoid the question. Tubbo told me it's something you always do and how annoying it would get when you guys used to live together and I’m starting to see just how annoying it is.”
Ranboo crossed his arms over his chest now, “Fine. No. No, I don't regret ever kissing you.”
“That wasn’t that hard, was it?” Tommy asked and Ranboo rolled his eyes.
“I’m done with this conversation.” Ranboo said and Tommy’s cold exterior melted as he grabbed Ranboo’s hand before he could walk away.
“Ran, wait.” Tommy whispered and Ranboo didn’t turn to face him.
“Let’s go to bed, Toms. We can talk more when we wake up, okay?” Ranboo asked and Tommy nodded, letting Ranboo bring them to his room. They laid on his bed and Ranboo held Tommy impossibly close. Like it would be the last time they did this. Ranboo then pressed a kiss to Tommy’s head, it was an apology. An apology that Tommy didn’t want. He didn’t want this to be the last time and he hopes Ranboo feels the same way.
But it would all be determined when they got to talking in the morning.