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In the rush of everything else, there was a problem that nobody had considered.
In fact, it hadn’t really been a problem because Al’s body was so weak from being held at the Gate of Truth for so long that he spent the first few days sleeping through most of the day, only being able to greet one or two well wishers and maybe being coaxed to try to drink a little water before his consciousness drifted off and he fell into a dreamless sleep.
Edward barely left his side of course but Riza was keeping her eye on Ed also, knowing full well just how much he had been through recently. While Ed had been medically cleared with the caveat that he keep his newly reformed arm in a sling until he was strong enough to get the bolts removed, the sling was currently nowhere to be seen as he used both arms to properly retell a story.
Al was sitting upright, he had been gradually regaining his strength too, but there were stacked pillows behind him just in case he needed them. His arms, real flesh arms, were mottled with bruises from all the blood tests and IV’s, the latest of which was already developing around the newest tube that was giving him much needed hydration.
It had been a few weeks since the Promised Day but Alphonse was still making up for years of depending on Edward’s nutrition and sleep schedule, things that were famously horrendous, so he was no where near being discharged like Ed and Riza had been fully aware of Al’s growing frustration. The joy of simply being alive, of being in his real body, was slowly waning as the reality of years of physical therapy and probably chronic pain and exhaustion was starting to set in.
It was only a matter of time before that frustration overwhelmed the sweet boy, he had already done so well for so long.
Riza should have expected it then, the culminated meltdown that had been brewing for weeks now. Yet when Al yelled so loudly, so suddenly, she found herself reaching for her gun all the same, her mind screaming that she was in danger. Edward had flinched back also, hands already pressed together as if to transmute despite no longer having Alchemy while Roy raised his hand, ready to change the composition of the air.
Roy dropped his hand first, the guilt clear on his face, but Ed rushed to Al first, an apology already on his lips.
“Don’t fucking touch me.” Al snapped.
Ed stilted, his eyes wide, but he kept his distance all the same.
Riza settled her own racing heart first, forcing herself to stand slowly as to not spook anyone in the room.
“Colonel,” She said. “I believe that Garcia and Elicia were waiting for you at the cafeteria. How about you take Edward with you?”
“What?” Ed whipped around to her. “No way, I’m gonna stay with Al.”
Riza met his eyes. She offered a smile, trying to convey that Alphonse would be safe with her. Ed clenched and unclenched his fists, warring with himself, until he twisted on his heel and stormed towards the door.
“You coming Colonel Idiot?” Ed demanded.
“I was giving your little legs some time to get ahead.” Roy said tightly, eyes still locked on Al as he made towards the door.
Riza waited for the both of them to disappear down the hallway, their voices still being heard as they bickered, before she twisted towards Alphonse.
The anger had drained from him just as quickly as it had risen up but Riza knew that it was deeper than just annoyance at Ed’s exaggerated story.
“Do you want to tell me what that was about?” Riza asked.
She kept her tone even, non judging but also not giving him a chance to deflect. Al did not look at her, more likely could not look, gaze focused on picking at the threads of the blanket. Riza did not repeat her question, Alphonse had heard her.
Al would speak when he was ready; he always did. He could be stubborn of course, taking a while before he allowed himself to be vulnerable, but Riza knew that she herself was much the same and if she was being honest she also knew that her stubbornness streak was stronger.
At least, she had thought it was but maybe the last few weeks and nearly dying more times than she could count had lessened her tolerance for waiting. Maybe she had to be the one to bring it up herself, if only to get Al talking. Riza gave him another few moments to respond but Al just kept messing with the blanket.
“I know you haven’t been sleeping.”
Al jolted, golden eyes at last snapping to her. Like she had suspected, the boy had genuinely believed that he had fooled everyone by simply closing his eyes and giving off the occasional snore. Roy had been fooled totally, at least that’s what Riza chose to believe, out of sheer desperation for everything to be okay. With Edward being as smart as he was he probably knew full well that Al had been faking rest for the last several days but he too was just a kid who wanted to pretend at least for a little while that everything was okay.
Riza did not mind being the one to confront Al, coming from her would be better than coming from a Doctor or somebody else, she only wished that she didn’t have to.
“Sweetheart,” Riza sighed. “You can’t stay awake forever.”
“But…” Al’s voice cracked. He went back to the thread, if only to keep himself focused. “But I was awake. For years.”
“I can’t pretend to know what that was like.” She said. “No one can. But I also can’t pretend to not know that you’re hurting yourself.”
“I’m not hurting myself.” Al said quickly.
“When was the last time you slept? Fully, totally slept and not just passed out from exhaustion?”
Alphonse returned to picking at the thread.
“Al…”
“I don’t need your pity.” Al snapped.
The boy ducked his head, tired eyes watering. He mumbled an apology but Riza assured him that it was okay.
Riza came over, sitting on the edge of the bed. It wouldn’t help accusing him, not when he was probably very much aware of what he was doing. She should appeal to his scientific mind instead.
“You know how the human body works.” Riza said. “What does it need?”
“Nutrients.” He mumbled. “A combination of carbohydrates, fibres, proteins, vitamins and minerals. And water.”
Al shifted uncomfortably, glancing at the IV in his arm. He looked away just as quickly again, looking a little ill.
“But I can’t tolerate food yet.” He said. “I… I can’t eat Gracia’s pie.”
“Your list.” Riza said.
Al nodded, his lip trembling. He lent over, nearly overbalancing, but Riza let him do it by himself if only to prove to him that he could. Al’s hand at last found the notebook from his travels but when he tried to lift it, it fell.
“Fuck!” Al growled. Then, just as quickly, his scowl dropped into pure misery. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s not a word that I have not heard before,” Riza said lightly. “You should have seen Breda when he came back to the office to a bunch of puppies. Now that was impressive.”
“Mom always said not to swear.” Al said. “At least… I think she said that. I don’t really remember.”
“Doesn’t Izumi swear?” Riza asked.
Alphonse laughed then, a real genuine laugh, and Riza felt her heart soar if only for a moment.
“Like a sailor.” He said. “But she would always make us train harder if we swore. Something about not needing impolite kids who depend on curses to get their message across. It’s why I like to get creative.”
It was so strange to see Al’s expression change so overtly, the way his lip twitched up into a smile and his golden eyes sparked with the cheekiness of a young teenager. Riza had grown used to Alphonse as a seven foot suit of armour but she had never seen him not as who he really was, she had simply gotten used to reading his body language more than his non-changing expression.
Al’s shoulders moved just as often as they used to be and Riza found that she liked that familiar gesture.
She leaned down, grabbing the journal from the ground and passing it to Al. He flicked through it, his gaze shifting between excitement and frustration with each page. He had always looked forward to trying all those foods yet even with his real body he was still unable to eat any of them without getting incredibly sick from them. As much as Riza knew he would be frustrated, she could not even imagine what it was actually like for him.
Now that the tension in Al’s shoulders had eased a little again, Riza tried to guide the conversation back to what it was needing to be.
“Okay,” She said. “You have your nutrients through IV’s and feeding tubes but you are working towards real food. What else does a human body need?"
“Appropriate levels of sleep.” Al grumbled.
“Which is?”
“It’s not like I don’t know that I need sleep.” Alphonse said hotly. “Of course I know I need it.”
Riza stayed silent, giving Al a moment to decide what he wanted to say next. He could deflect, change the topic back to food or even back to curse words or any number of things. But Al wasn’t just physically exhausted, he was emotionally exhausted too.
“I did try.” Al whispered. “At first. But I just kept seeing it.”
“The Gate?”
Al jolted again, hissing when he pulled at his IV. A hand rushing to his arm, thankfully not having displaced the tube, Alphonse looked right at her.
“How did you know?” He asked, no, demanded.
Riza tried not to balk under his intense stare. She reminded herself that he was easily overwhelmed right now, Al simply could not control his reactions.
“The Colonel sees it too.” Riza said.
Al’s face dropped, that look of misery back.
“Of course, he doesn’t want you boys to know but he sees it. Every night.” Riza’s hand raised to her throat. “I do too.”
They lapsed into silence for a long moment, neither one willing to break it.
“I was scared.” Al said at last. “I would have done anything to keep Ed safe but… I was scared. That I was going to die.”
“You were just a boy.” Riza said. “You still are.”
Alphonse shook his head and if Riza could hug him without risking him getting overstimulated again, she would have. Riza settled for resting a hand onto his own, not looking at the page on Apple Pie in his journal.
“I keep thinking it will take me back.” Al said. “That this has all just been some dream, that I never actually got my real body back.”
“I know that it doesn’t count for much,” Riza said. “But this is real. You are safe. You are loved.”
“It counts for a lot.” Al said. “Coming from you… It’s everything.”
“You know that I’ll always be here for you Alphonse. Whatever you need.” Riza promised him, squeezing his hand tightly.
That look of cheekiness was back, that quirked brow and twitching lip and Riza had to train her own expression to be neutral.
“Including making me get sleep?”
“Absolutely.” Riza said. “If you need a brick, I’m sure there’s space in the Colonel’s budget for it.”
Another laugh. Pure, unadulterated, laughter. Even Al’s laugh was different to what it had been like in the suit yet at the same time it was the exact same. His shoulders still shook, he still tilted his head a little.
The boy before her was the same as he had ever been. Alphonse simply had a smile now, a smile that Riza would treasure for all eternity.
When Roy came back a while later, carrying a coffee for his Hawkeye, he found Riza laying down beside Al. The boy curled up against her chest but even if Roy could not see them he knew that Al’s eyes were closed.
He was asleep, truely asleep, in the first time in who knows when, and Roy could not be prouder.
It was going to take time but maybe everything was going to be okay after all.