Chapter Text
Dazai Osamu has created a groupchat
Dazai Osamu has added 18 people
Dazai has changed 18 users
Mackerel: fuckin on yo bitch then I gtg
Mackerel: don't fw these faggots I'm a homophobe‼️😍😝
Gravity: FAGGOT‼️
Hottie: is this your way of coming out and announcing your relationship to us? Congrats dazai and chuuya ❤️
Gravity: NO ANE-SAN WTF
Mackerel: jus say u wanna kiss me chibi 😍
Gravity: ur not helping dickhead
Gravity: also why do we need a gc 💀
Mackerel: why not?
Gravity: cuz ts is stupid
Mackerel: ur saying that yet
Mackerel: nvm
Gravity: no no continue I’d love to know what you were gonna say
winter: Atsushi?
Bi disaster: Yes kyouka??
winter: can you buy me robux 🥰
Bi disaster: ask fukuzawa
winter: oh wow, fine then, ion need ur broke ahh being in love w/ someone that has some of the worst unresolved trauma
Bi disaster: HELP?
Bi disaster: who tf r u talking about
Winter: i’ll tell you in dms 😋
Bi disaster: alr
Bi disaster: oh..
Bi disaster has gone offline
Mackerel: HELP KYOUKA WHAT DID U TELL HIM??
winter: doesn’t matter I got my robux 😍😝
Girlypop: W kyouka
Barbie 2010: tbh why are all the gay ppl here
Barbie 2010: and ur all old too (besides the few 14 year olds)
Mental case: W elise ‼️💯
Barbie 2010: can we kick mori and his husband
Mentally sane: are you talking about the president/fukuzawa san?
Mackerel: EVEN KUNIKIDA KNOWS HELP ME
Old ahh: I’m doubling your work for both of you
Mentally sane: I thought you guys were married but ok
Old ahh: me and ougai?? No tf??
Mackerel: everybody knows…
Old ahh: just like you and chuuya?
Old ahh: and atsushi and ryuunosuke?
Mackerel: WHAT
Bi disaster: I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING HELP??
Bi disaster: PLUS, he’s literally my enemy ur all tripping
trauma: I’m gonna pretend I never opened this chat and move on
inspector gadget: all these gay ppl r making me homophobic
barbie 2010: no fr tho
social anxiety: ranpo, we are dating..
inspector gadget: im homosexual and homophobic (+ hypocritical)
gravity: faggatron ong
mackerel: this is why I love you
gravity: that's a weird way to propose but ok
barbie 2010: I quickly became homophobic, hating on gay people became apart of my lifestyle
mental case: real
gravity: ANYWAYS
gravity: why does it smell like weed in the entire building
sourballs: uh
sourballs: I was doing an experiment, mb
gravity: what kinda experiment are you doing that you need to give rats weed
inspector gadget: oo can I see??
social anxiety: ranpo ily but no.
inspector gadget: what did I even do fr fr
social anxiety: you tried to give karl catnip
social anxiety: he's a raccoon.
inspector gadget: but what if he liked it??
gravity: BACK TO THE WEED RATS.
sourballs: so like I needed to see how rats would act on weed cuz yk
sourballs: I needed them to travel to europe and deliver weed to someone
gravity: kajii what the actual fuck
sourballs: in my defense..
gravity: THERE IS NO DEFENSE??
mackerel: chibi calm down wouldn't you like to see rats high on weed??
gravity: no??
gravity: no sane person wants to see that
gravity: plus they started cooking ramen in my apartment and did my paperwork so now I'm lowkey scared
mackerel: THATS WHAT YOU'RE SCARED OF???
mackerel: LEMON BOY CAN I GET SOME WEED RATS TOO??
mackerel: maybe they could do my paperwork!!
bi disaster: akutagawa just called me a fruitloop warrior
the better sibling: ironic cuz he's gay
winter: all of you are gay but get it ig
the better sibling: feeling exposed rn
PANic!: it's ok gin!! I can come over if you wanna watch a movie?
the better sibling: ok!! bring snacks too <3
PANic!: <3
trauma: and gin calls me the gay one ok I see how it is
bi disaster: didn't you say you wanted to kiss me???
trauma: suddenly I have to go on a mission!!
gravity: we're off work today though??
trauma: u just dont like gay ppl do u..
gravity: very much actually
mackerel: chibi homophobic confirmed⁉️
gravity: yes
mackerel: do u wanna make out??
gravity: "make out" is so boring "face battle" is way cooler tbh
old hag: faggots
old hag deleted a message
mentally sane: PRESIDENT??
old hag: ?
mentally sane: I can't do this anymore
social anxiety: real
usa ontop: dm me for therapy links!!!
american: I think I like women
girlypop: real
fruit loop tbh: im slowly becoming homophobic
ice spice: relatable (wanna make out???)
fruit loop tbh: u a real one 4 that (yes)
gravity: kajii's rats just blew up his lab and drank his monster energy and now he's pissed LMAOO
hottie: expected tbh
sane person: can I see?
winter: kenji, no
sane person: aww ok :(
trauma: is it gay to stop killing for 6 months as a mass murderer just to fight your 'rival'
bi disaster: maybe
bi disaster: wait.
gravity: you guys are so painfully obviously in love it hurts
gravity: anyways u wanna watch every season and movie of inuyasha w/ me? @mackeral
mackerel: yea I'll bring the snacks n shit
old hag: I get so sick of gay ppl
inspector gadget: you get sick of yourself??
old hag: disowned
inspector gadget: WHAT
inspector gadget: STOP I WAS JP
inspector gadget: PRESIDENT??
inspector gadget: DAD???
social anxiety: HES UR DAD??
social anxiety: I THOUGHT HE WAS UR GRANDPA..
old hag : I can't stand this slander anymore
old hag: and to answer your question poe, I'm his father figure, he's adopted tbh
inspector gadget: what.
barbie 2010: not the kardashian family drama!!
mackerel: no fr tho
gravity: tacky bastard come get atsushi him and akutagawa are fighting
gravity: nvm they're kissing??
gravity: THEY'RE FIGHTING AND KISSING??
mackerel: me n u fr fr
gravity: shut up shitty bastard
mackerel: you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid
gravity: and??
mackerel: what
gravity: what
mental case: ew gay ppl
mental case: I mean congrats on your relationship!
barbie 2010: bring back bullying 2023!!