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It started with little things. Small things like, where did I put my screwdriver or did I really finish that project. Sure, it happened more than normal, but it was insignificant so anyone would brush it off. It was not like anyone was not distracted by anything after the whole invasion thing. It only sounded weird when it happened to the smarter turtle, that’s all. But he isn’t immune. That was his thought about the whole thing, the whole alien thing, Aliens and their disgusting spaceship, was not what normal in any kind of way and anyone would have been affected by that one way or another. So, the fact that his mind couldn't keep track of things lately wasn’t something he should worry about, or he thought.
It wasn't long since the end of the world battle, really, only a few weeks like four or five. They were starting to go back to something semi normal, movie nights, pizza runs and silly little games, normal things. Well, at least if you ignored how Raph's right eye has a hazy filter on it, or How Mikey's hands shake so often, or how Leo limp as he walked and sometimes need a moment to regulate his breath. At least they were healing. And things were finally shifting to normal again. But the thing is, they were not. Because that little insignificant thing, as Donnie believed, appeared to be a huge problem.
Donatello was not simply distracted because of the alien’s shenanigan, oh no he wasn’t, Donatello was losing his memories. It wasn’t "hey, did you see my battle shell" nor "I thought we were going to April's tomorrow" anymore. It became "since when did you start wearing a black robe" and "wait, what do you mean I did finish my drill", which lead to weird looks from his family.
His memories were wrapped behind a black fog in his mind and the knowledge that it kept disappearing scared him.
Donnie would wake up some days disoriented and unsure of his surroundings, He sometimes would find himself holding a device simply not knowing what it was. He realized that he no longer could remember things when they were little, nothing from that time came to his mind at all. And what terrified him the most was that sometimes he would look at his brothers and think, "who are they?".
He didn’t tell them about it. He wasn’t sure how to tell them, maybe he did and forgot about it, maybe there was no way to fix it and he just forgot that! Donnie considered his option, sure he wouldn’t remember if he told them, but they would. He would only need to tell them again and, well, hear their answer. I'm going to tell them! He was determined, he got out of his room heading towards the kitchen. He needed to tell them they would help him to fix it, they would- wait, who are they? What was he doing again? Even after a few moments Donnie was not able to remember.
Donnie was hiding something. Leo knew that much, but he didn’t know what. Usually, he would be able to tell right away, with Donnie not being able to keep a lie and his side glance gave him out every single time. But this time it was different, and Leo, for the love of him, where not able to tell what Donnie was hiding. It's not like Donnie suddenly able to keep a secret without spilling the beans out. It worried him, in all honest. Something was off, not the normal Donnie is possessed scenario, or his mad scientist routine, but off off. The way his twin looked at them sometimes with fearful eyes, and other times like he didn’t recognize them. settle something in Leo’s stomach, something bad.
Leo wanted to respect Donnie’s boundaries and wait for him to come to them whenever he needed, wanted to trust that his twin would eventually come for their help. To trust and be trusted, that kind of things. But that dreadful feeling he had told him otherwise, now or never, and for once he didn’t want to ignore it.
So, Leo walked up to Donnie’s room, not his lab, which was weird enough, he was ready to face his twin and get him to talk his problem out. What he saw inside though shocked him to the core. Donnie was sitting there doing nothing, nothing! No tinkering, no “oh, you catch me red handed”, not even hiding away from the world in the corner of the room, nothing... and if Leo felt dread back then, what he felt right now is ten times worse. Something worse than bad is happening.
“Donnie?” Leo asked, wanting to catch his brother's attention. But no reply came, so he tried in a different way.
“How is my favorite twin in this beautiful night?” nothing. He kneeled next to Donnie, while minding his injured leg.
“Hey! Its rude to ignore the most handsome turtle in the universe, you know!” still nothing.
“I-I guess you're not smart enough to understand my undying Karizma” nothing, not even a twitch. Leo sucked a breath in. He felt his hand start to shake with worry.
“Donnie? C-can you hear me?” He heard his voice trembling. But nothing came from his brother mouth.
“Donnie...please” He couldn’t- Donnie wasn’t responding to anything he said. Just sitting there, like an empty shell. The thought alone made Leo’s body shiver in fear. Leo’s eyes glossed with unshed tears. He didn’t know what to do. He was the leader, but he still didn’t know what to do. He needed to- he needed to-
“Leo” it was quite too quiet for his liking, but Leo didn’t miss it. He looked back to Donnie, who was looking at him with a terrified face.
“Donnie! Donnie, buddy! are you with me?” Leo asked with a little relief washing over him, “what's wrong?” He needed the answer to know how to help because something was definitely not right.
“L-Leo... I can’t...I -I” Leo held Donnie’s hand as a pleading manner. He could feel Donnie trembling. Something is terribly wrong! He wanted to pull Donnie in a tight hug, to whisper that everything would be okay in his ears, to pat his shell to comfort him, but he couldn’t. Leo needed to keep his eyes on Donnie. He felt like, if he glanced away from his twin, Donnie would dissolve into nothingness, and Leo didn’t what to challenge that thought.
“Donnie?” Leo’ voice cracked as he tried again.
“Leo, I-I can’t remember- I- my memories, they are-” Donnie was rushing his words, as if he doesn't say it fast enough, it would disappear. “It- it's like a black fog in my-my mind, I-I-”
“What? Your memories? Donnie what does that mean?” Leo wasn’t able to be processed that. His memories? W-what?
“Donnie, wha-” the words abruptly stopped from his mouth. The way Donnie looked at him, how his expression shifted suddenly from terror to nothing. A lump stuck in Leo’s throat. No. Please no. He didn’t even know what he was pleading for, nor to whom.
He needs to get Raph!
Raph, Raph, his older brother, he would know what to do. He needed him to know what to do! Because Leo was useless in that department right now. Leo took a breath and
“RAPH!!!” shouted with everything he got.
It didn’t take long for his oldest and youngest to rush into the room.
“What! Leo what’s wrong?!” Raph’s voice was full of worry.
“That was a loud shout! I think people in New Jersey heard you!” Mikey tried to keep his voice normal, but his expression betrayed him, he was just as worried as Raph.
“Donnie is- something wrong with Donnie!” Leo’s voice cracked with fear, he didn’t even try to hide it.
“What do you mean?” he saw Raph kneeling next to them, giving his attention to Donnie. “Donnie? Are you alright?”
No reply came.
“Donnie?” Mikey tried.
Nothing.
“Leo? What happened?” Raph asked, his eyes still on Donnie. Concern heavily showing in his voice.
“I-I don’t know! He-he said that he can’t remember” Leo replay, his breath become shallow with anxiety. “He said that his m-mind is full with black fog. I-I don’t know what happened!”
“Black fog?” Mikey asked quietly, as if it was only meant for him.
“He has been acting weird since the whole Krang thingy. I wanted to check on him-”
“Wait! The Krang?” Raph interrupted him. “Does this have anything to do with the Krang?” That’s it! He knew Raph would have the answer. But... what was the cause exactly?
“Omigod! His shell!” Mikey’s eyes widened with fear. Donnie’s shell? Oh no! How could Leo miss something like that, he was the one who told Donnie to do it, to control the Technodrome. Of course it missed up with his brain! Why didn’t he noticed that earlier!
“What do you mean?” Raph asked Mikey, his voice cut through Leo's thoughts. He could see the alarm in his big brother’s eyes. Raph doesn’t know! He doesn’t know what Donnie did in the Alien’s ship. Leo wanted to answer Raph’s concern, but words stuck in his throat.
“He used his shell to control the Krang spaceship” Mikey was the one to answer. His voice was strong, which made Leo look at his little brother. Something flashed in Mikey’s eyes.
“I- I think I can help him!” Mikey’s voice was trembling, but his face was full of determination. And it filled Leo’s heart with hope.
Mikey didn’t hesitate. It came to him naturally, the same way he opened the portal to save Leo. His eyes glittered with mystic power as he raised his hands to Donnie’s head.
He kept his hold on Donnie’s head and let his energy flow into him. Mikey grinded his teeth as pain shooted through his hands. It felt like fire was burning each crack that was on his hands, but that didn’t stop him. Donnie was feeling worse, he thought, and it was true. Donnie’s body was shaking uncontrollably, and his mouth opened in a silent scream. Black tears started to fall from his unfocused eyes as Mikey’s mystic power entered him. Mikey saw his older brothers physically flinch at that, he himself wasn’t certain of the whole thing, but...
“It’s okay, it’s alright” Mikey said out loud “you're going to be fine, I promise, you're going to be fine” even when he wasn’t certain, Mikey didn’t stop talking. He wanted to assure them, all of them, and mostly himself. So, he kept the comforting words, the enchantments, and poured everything into it.
When Mikey finished, Donnie was still shedding black tears. He was out of it but didn’t seem to be in pain anymore. Memories become clearer in Donnie's mind. The dark fog that wrapped them disappeared with each drop of his black tears. His body swayed in an attempt to stay upright, he raised his eyes to look at his older brother. Raph saw something in Donnie’s eye that made his older brother senses flare up, and in swift movement he pulled Donnie up in his arms. Donnie melted in Raph’s warmth, slowly closing his eyes. He is safe, Raph got him, they all do.
Donnie drifted to sleep to the words of comfort and love of his older brother, a soft and light touch of his twin that wiped off his tears, and the smaller trembling hands of his little brother squeezing his own.
The next time he opened his eyes, Donnie was comfortably wrapped in warm blankets and surrounded by his brothers in a turtle pile. His mind was the clearest it ever was. He closed his eyes for a moment and let memories swim around his thoughts in a comforting way.
A shaky breath got out of his lips, I remember, as a shiver ran through his spine.
“Donnie?” that was Leo. That insomniac idiot, what was he doing up at this hour? Wait, what time is it anyway?
“Yeah?” His voice was hoarse, and he could feel a little sting in his throat. It was like if he was screaming in a concert for a whole day.
No reply came. So, Donnie annoyingly opened his eyes to look at his uncharacteristically quiet brother above him. He felt his eyes widening, Leo’s expression was something he didn’t expected. It wasn’t he usual smug smile, it was something he couldn’t read. A mix between distress and relief?
“Leo?” He wanted to question his brother weird behavior, but he heard a sniff and at that moment Donnie knew what Leo’s expression meant.
It seemed like the past event shocked his brother more than Donnie thought it would. Now with his clear mind he could see that Leo was aware that something was wrong. How long did he worried in silence?
Another sniff, and Donnie let a small sight out. He opened his arms, it didn’t even take a second for Leo to throw himself into his arms.
“Don't ever do that again!” Leo said as he nuzzled his head in Donnie’s shoulder.
“Wow, that really did a number on you” Donnie tried to jock to lighten the mood.
“I’m serious Donnie!” Leo said. “I don’t think I can take you ignoring me for at least a month!”
“Sorry” Donnie whispered, and continued aloud “in my defense, I did try to inform all of you. I just couldn’t keep that thought for long”. Leo tightened the hug.
“Hey! That's unfair!” Mikey voice cut through their conversation “I want Donnie’s hugs as well! Move aside Leo!”
“Ha! In your dream little bro. I was officially invited to this hug by my dearest twin himself!”
Mikey jumped on both of them, with an “ougff” coming out from the twins.
“Angelo! You can't!” Leo complained as he tried to push Mikey away with one hand. A smile found it way on Donnie’s mouth as he looked at his brothers.
“I have a fix!” All of a sudden, two strong arms warped around them all and held them tightly in a hug. “That way we all can share a hug!” Raph was proud of himself for that.
“Nooo~”
“Raphie, it not that~?
And Donnie couldn't help letting out a laugh against his older brother plastron. His brothers went quite at that, only for a moment, as they all joined in filling the room with laughter.