Work Text:
“It’s even worse than the last time I was here,” Kazuki said, reflexively scrunching up his nose. After the most recent job with his new partner, Rei Suwa, had gone off without a hitch, Kazuki was in high spirits. Filled with motivation and energy that he’d thought had been lost on him, he decided to set out on another, more personal mission.
He and Suwa had an… interesting relationship, to say the least. Putting aside the fact that they’d been working together as hitmen for the past month or so, Kazuki wasn’t satisfied with the fact that Suwa didn’t seem to trust him in any aspect. They had to be a team, otherwise they would continue to do their jobs poorly. As much as Kazuki had tried to encourage coordination in their jobs, Suwa preferred to do whatever killed their hit the fastest. It was messy. It created a feeling of animosity between them, which was not ideal in their line of work. Trust and teamwork, even in its most basic form, were critical.
Yesterday had been the first time the two of them had managed to do their job right. There was no scuffle, no extra casualties, and no witnesses. By all means, it was a perfect job well-done. More or less. It was the first time, at least in Kazuki’s mind, that they had worked together as opposed to just working at the same time.
Kazuki wanted to take that moment of teamwork and stoke the spark into a proper flame. To him, that meant establishing a personal relationship outside of their working one. And his first step towards that?
Cleaning Suwa’s goddamn shithole of an apartment.
He’d only been to Suwa’s place twice before when they’d chosen to meet up there before a job. Honestly, Kazuki had never seen a more disastrous excuse of a living space. Not to mention a massive waste of such an expensive place.
Walking a few steps into the apartment, Kazuki was almost knee-deep in garbage in some places. Piles and piles of wrappers, napkins, cartons, cigarettes, boxes, and cup noodles littered the entire floor. The whole places reeked of rotting food and cigarette smoke. Kazuki couldn’t make out any furniture aside from what might be a table in the living room and a giant flatscreen TV. No chairs or places to sit in sight. No décor. Kazuki could feel the room sucking all feelings of joy out of him. He shook his head and slapped a box of trash bags onto the bar.
“Welp. I’m not going to get anything done by just standing around, huh?” he declared, pulling on a pair of rubber gloves. He grabbed a plastic bag from the box with a flourish. Suwa just leaned back against the wall, watching Kazuki with those dead eyes of his.
Suwa didn’t ask him to do this. Kazuki had decided on his own that he wanted to, and Suwa didn’t object. He didn’t seem pleased about it either, but he’d let Kazuki inside anyway. So Kazuki was determined to make project “Clean Up Suwa” a success.
There wasn’t any one good place Kazuki could think to start, so he decided he might as well start picking up what was at his feet and work his way through the apartment from there.
One full trash bag later and he’d barely made a dent. A nice trash-free circle surrounded Kazuki’s feet now, though. He sighed, kicking some cans aside and placing the bag against the wall. “Hoo boy, this is worst than I thought.” It was meant to be a lighthearted jab, but when he turned to look at Suwa there was no reaction. He continued to stand there, same as before. “Tough crowd,” Kazuki muttered.
Grabbing another bag, Kazuki forged onward. He wasn’t totally sure why this mattered to him so much. Suwa was just a coworker. Nobody went to lengths like this for a guy he saw maybe once a week. Especially one who couldn’t care less about him. Suwa didn’t even like Kazuki, so why did the state of his apartment, the state of his whole appearance, matter that much?
Kazuki had a theory, he supposed. Whatever Suwa had been through before they’d met had seriously fucked the guy up. If his name was anything to go by, he was probably the son of the Suwa house that ran the organization. Being the kid of a guy like that couldn’t have been easy on him. He looked like he’d become some kind of zombie – a killing machine. Some guy’s tool. He didn’t know how to do anything for himself.
Depression and hopelessness were no strangers to Kazuki. He knew what it felt like to have nothing left, to forget how to live. Maybe he still didn’t really know. What Kazuki did know, however, was that wallowing in filth like Suwa was now would never allow him to learn. Suwa needed to learn what living was supposed to look like. Only then would he be able to start to open up, even a little bit, and trust Kazuki properly. Like a real partner should.
Four trash bags in and Kazuki had forged his way into what he assumed was supposed to be the living room. He could now properly make out the table sat alone in the middle of the room. “Don’t you have anywhere to actually sit?” he asked, turning to where Suwa still stood.
“The floor,” he answered, voice low and gravelly.
“Good grief,” Kazuki sighed, running a hand over his face. “Isn’t that uncomfortable?”
Suwa shrugged.
Kazuki looked at the trash that remained and sighed. There was still a lot that he needed to get done. Still, it had only been forty-five minutes and he’d gotten a good portion cleared out. He felt awkward about Suwa just standing around and watching him, though. He’d been keeping a furniture magazine rolled up in his back pocket that he intended to go through after he was done, but looking at his partner… He pulled it out and traversed over to Suwa.
“Here. Go through and pick stuff out that you like,” he said, holding out the magazine. Suwa eyed it warily.
“I don’t-“
“Look, if you don’t pick anything out, I’ll do it for you. And I don’t want you bitching when I pick out things you don’t like, so just do it yourself, okay?” Kazuki barked, thrusting the magazine into Suwa’s hands. He reluctantly took it and flipped it open.
That should keep him busy while Kazuki worked. He could go to a furniture mart after he was done cleaning and pick some of the stuff up that they already had on hand. Anything to fill this godforsaken empty space.
When Kazuki reached the point where there were more trash bags than trash on the floor, he smiled proudly to himself. Looking over at Suwa, his nose was still buried in the magazine. Another hour had passed, so he was surprised to see Suwa still looking through it with such intent. “Find anything you like?” Kazuki called.
“Game system,” he muttered. Kazuki snorted.
“I said look at furniture. Whatever. You can get that too, if you want,” he said, whipping out what he was sure would be the last bag of trash. Suwa grunted, which Kazuki assumed was in assent.
After hauling out the last of the trash and cardboard boxes, Kazuki looked upon the work he’d done with a feeling of pride. The space was even bigger than it looked now that it was effectively empty. “Alright! Now for step two,” he said, tossing his rubber gloves onto the counter. He’d brought in a broom with him after taking out the last of the trash. Next, he needed to go through and sweep all the crumbs and ashes and dirt that had accumulated. Suwa appeared to have folded a few pages of the furniture magazine, which gave Kazuki some hope that he’d picked out more than some video game system.
“Dude, how much do you smoke?” Kazuki asked after noticing just how much ash was collecting as he swept. “Don’t you smoke outside?”
“Why?” Suwa droned. Like Kazuki’s question really didn’t make sense.
“Ashes and crap are bad to just live in. And it makes the whole place stink,” Kazuki chastised. Of course, Suwa probably didn’t care about any of that anyway. So he really shouldn’t have been all that surprised.
“Oh.” Kazuki had a feeling that he wasn’t about to change Suwa’s mind on this.
Once everything had been swept up as best as Kazuki could manage, he brought out a vacuum to finish up the job.
Finally, the area was spotless. The acrid smell had begun to clear out, especially after cracking open a window. Kazuki put his hands on his hips and huffed proudly. “Perfect. Now let me see that magazine,” he said holding out a hand. Suwa handed it over passively. It appeared he’d also picked out some beanbag chairs and exercise equipment, but not much in the way of practical furniture. Kazuki supposed it was up to him to pick out stuff that actually mattered. He made a note of what he needed and set off.
“Coming with?” He had a feeling he knew the answer, but he felt the need to ask anyway. Suwa produced a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and strolled over by the open window. “Got it.”
Kazuki hadn’t expected much from Suwa. The guy was so chronically shut-in that Kazuki wasn’t sure how sunlight didn’t immediately turn him to dust. Besides, travelling in broad daylight to do mundane shopping with a guy who looked and smelled like he’d been living in an open grave would be troublesome. Suwa wasn’t ready for that yet.
It was just past noon when he arrived at the furniture store. Not bringing Suwa was definitely the right call. The place was massive and filled with all kinds of little furniture displays. Very bright and colorful and full of people – not a place to take someone like Suwa.
The salesperson he met with was super kind. He explained the situation he was in (with minimal detail) and asked what items he’d be able to get delivered right away. Money was no object, and he’d driven here in a moving van. She seemed rather eager to work with the rich guy willing to pay any price, and he couldn’t really blame her. It wasn’t really his money, anyway.
“I do have a few things picked out here already,” he said, pulling out the magazine again. The woman nodded, leading him around the store and showing him what Suwa had asked for. It all seemed like high-quality products. Thankfully Suwa had some taste. But the rest was up to Kazuki.
He tried to be reasonable in his choices. Nothing too flashy, but nothing too depressingly dull, either. Suwa could do with some color in his apartment, especially if he was always keeping his blinds drawn. Just some nice reds, yellows, and blues to give his place a little more personality. Living somewhere that looked nice would make you feel nice, Kazuki thought.
Kazuki returned to Suwa’s complex with a now-loaded moving van. He carried some of the lighter objects upstairs with him and politely knocked on the door. Suwa opened the door, looking the same as Kazuki had left him. “Mind giving me a hand? The couch is a two person job. I figured you wouldn’t want me to hire anyone to help.” Suwa hummed and stepped aside. Kazuki trudged into the apartment and tossed two beanbag chairs into the living room. “Better already!”
Suwa had given Kazuki a hand with the couch, dining table, and exercise equipment, but after that he was content to just stand by and watch Kazuki work.
Kazuki himself was surprised at how drastic the changes had become since he’d arrived. The room looked so much brighter, like a normal person lived here. The little bits of décor Kazuki had bought – some generic paintings and plastic plants – added so much. Damn, Kazuki wanted to live here now.
Finishing up with the decorations, Kazuki had also brought in some groceries, too. Some real food for Rei to eat, and an assortment of hygiene products, a pair of scissors, and a hair cutting cape. Now the real heart of the project could begin.
The sun was starting to hang low in the sky. “So…is that it?” Suwa asked warily. “Are you done?”
Kazuki lifted one of the paper bags from the bar. “Not quite.”
Suwa exhaled through his nose. “What?”
“When’s the last time you bathed?” Kazuki asked, stepping down from the kitchen platform and making his way over to Suwa. “Ever?”
“I wipe blood off of me after a job,” he answered coolly.
“Oh, dude. C’mon. Where’s your bathroom?” the older man sighed. When Suwa didn’t reply, he rolled his eyes and grabbed Suwa by the elbow. Ignoring his protest, Kazuki dragged him through the living room to what he assumed had to be the bathroom. He pushed Suwa in first and then shut the two of them inside, barring the door with his body. Suwa wasn’t getting away.
“What are you-?”
“Take off your jacket,” Kazuki ordered, setting his bag of hygiene products onto the floor. From the bag, he produced a razor and some shaving cream. When he looked back up, he saw his partner was still rooted in place. “I’m giving you the choice to do things yourself, but I hope you understand it’s going to get done either way. You need to take care of yourself, and I’m going to make sure of that. I’m not too prideful to treat you like a child.”
“Kurusu, you really-” he was starting to protest, albeit his monotonous voice might’ve suggested otherwise. Kazuki held up a hand to silence him.
“Save it. Just get your jacket off. Step one is to shave that pathetic stubble,” he said firmly, giving the shaving cream can a shake. Suwa frowned but finally complied, slipping off his leather jacket and dropping it on the floor. Kazuki patted on the side of the tub. “Sit here. I’ll do it for you.”
Strangely enough, Suwa didn’t argue anymore. It seemed it finally sunk in that this was inevitable, and he should just relent and let his partner work. Kazuki smiled appreciatively, squatting down so that he was eye-level with Suwa. Popping off the lid of the shaving cream, he applied a small swirl to his fingertips. Gently, very gently, he applied the cream evenly across the lower half of Suwa’s left cheek. Something conflicted flickered across Suwa’s features, but it’d disappeared as quickly as it had come. He just continued to watch Kazuki with heavy eyes.
Flicking the protective plastic from the razor, Kazuki lifted it to the younger man’s cheek. Applying the gentlest pressure, he dragged the blades down the side of his face, leaving a clean streak of pale skin in the wake of the shaving cream. Suwa’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment, eyebrows furrowed. Kazuki repeated the movement again and again, clearing away the fluffy cream and leaving a sharp, hairless jawline behind.
“Much better,” Kazuki said softly. Suwa said nothing in reply.
Kazuki applied more shaving cream to repeat the process on the other side of his partner’s face. It was odd, being this close to Suwa. He’d never noticed just how thick the smell of cigarettes lingered around him. Without his jacket, Kazuki could see the dark scars that ran on his upper arms. The low neckline of his shirt revealed a sliver of what looked like the edge of a nasty bite on his shoulder. What had this guy been put through, Kazuki wondered to himself. But he knew better than to ask.
There had to be a limit.
Deeming his work satisfactory, Kazuki grabbed a washcloth from under the sink and dampened it. He carefully wiped away the remaining shaving cream and residue, leaving a clean-shaven man behind. “You’re already looking better. A little less dead-inside,” he joked. Suwa didn’t react. “Alright. Move.”
Kazuki shooed Suwa away from the bathtub before turning on the faucet, drawing a hot bath. While the tub filled, he turned back to the other man. “Your hair looks almost matted down in some places,” he observed while gingerly pulling the hair elastic from Suwa’s ponytail. “Washing it isn’t going to be enough."
"Kurusu-"
“Kazuki.”
Suwa blinked at him. “Just call me Kazuki,” he said before turning back to the paper bag. Shampoo, conditioner, and body wash were pulled from the bag one by one and set on the lip of the bathtub. “Alright. Undress.”
Suwa’s stoic expression faltered. “Huh?”
“You’re not taking a bath in your clothes, idiot. So get undressed,” Kazuki said, completely unfazed. He himself had nothing to be embarrassed about. Nudity didn’t exactly make him uncomfortable, and everything about this situation was with completely pure-hearted intentions. He didn’t expect Suwa to be vehemently against it anyway, otherwise he wouldn’t insist.
“Kuru- Kazuki. Is all this really necessary?” he sighed, still obliging by tossing away his white shirt and exposing an entire tapestry of scars. Kazuki couldn’t help but look a little surprised. Coupling that with how skinny Suwa actually was, the reality of Suwa’s condition was more clear now than ever.
Kazuki cleared his throat. “Yeah. You haven’t had a bath since ever, so I need to make sure you actually do it right,” he explained. “Just trust me.”
It was the first time he’d actually uttered those words to Suwa. The real reason he’d been doing all this.
Just trust me.
Somehow, that was good enough for Suwa. He discarded his pants and briefs, leaving him standing bare in the middle of his bathroom. Kazuki nodded, moving back to the faucet of the tub and turning it off. He gestured for Suwa to get in.
The younger man stepped into the tub carefully and warily began to ease himself into the steaming water. He moved as if he was cautious of the water, like it was completely foreign to him. Eventually Kazuki had enough of his snaillike pace and pushed him the rest of the way in, making sure his entire head was submerged so his hair was properly wet. “It’s water, not acid. It’s not going to hurt you,” Kazuki said when Suwa reemerged. Suwa huffed, blowing bubbles in the water with his nose.
Kazuki sat on the edge of the tub next to Suwa’s head and picked up the shampoo bottle. Pouring a generous amount into his palm, Kazuki rubbed his hands together and descended into Suwa’s hair. The dark locks were thicker and more tangled than Kazuki had expected. He worked his fingers deep into his hair, making sure he was massaging the suds all the way to his scalp. A soft noise left Suwa’s mouth, and Kazuki was sure that the younger man was leaning into his touch. But he didn’t comment on it. He simply smiled to himself.
Hair fully coated in soap, Kazuki cupped water into his hands. “Hey, Suwa-”
“Rei,” his partner whispered. Kazuki almost didn’t catch it. Something softened in his chest.
“Rei, tilt your head forward and close your eyes,” he said. Rei quietly complied. Handful after handful, Kazuki poured water over Rei’s head until the water ran clear. “Alright, you can sit up now.”
Though Kazuki wasn’t sure how well it would work given the state of Rei’s hair, he next picked up the bottle of conditioner. Tenderly, he combed the silkier soap through the thick locks with his fingers. He met plenty of resistance with the amount of stubborn knots. But he pushed through, carefully separating as many of the knots as he could. Rei winced occasionally when he tugged too hard, but otherwise didn’t complain.
“Alright, now we just let that sit for a while. Now, uh, I just need to scrub down the rest of you,” Kazuki coughed, picking up the washcloth he had used earlier. “Okay?” Given Rei’s scar littered body, touching him felt far more intimate and invasive than anything else he’d done so far. If Rei felt it was too personal, he wanted to give him a chance to say so.
“Yeah,” Rei mumbled, eyes trained on the foggy water. Good enough for Kazuki.
Taking Rei’s arm into his hand, he lifted the now-soap-covered washcloth and began lathering it across the smooth expanse of his partner’s skin. One eye checking on Rei’s expressions, he applied more pressure, doing his best to scrub away the indeterminate number of days’ worth of grime, sweat, and stink. His skin, already flushed pink from the heat, darkened a little redder from the friction. Rei occasionally scowled, but otherwise he didn’t complain.
One arm done, Kazuki sidled up behind Rei and took his other arm in hand, repeating the process. “This is probably really bothersome for you,” Kazuki said softly, “but I hope that in the future, you might appreciate it a little.”
Rei grunted.
Finishing his other arm, Kazuki lightly pushed Rei into leaning forward so Kazuki could wash his shoulders and down to the small of his back. “You probably don’t get why I’m doing all this for you,” he continued, laughing to himself. “Maybe I don’t get it either. But I think it’ll help us, y’know? With our working relationship.”
Pulling on Rei’s shoulders, Kazuki eased Rei into leaning back. He scrubbed his partner’s neck and chest. “Yesterday was good. It was the first time I think we actually worked together. Just when I was starting to give up on working with you, too.” Kazuki laughed again. “I thought our partnership would be hopeless. But it just needs a little work.” He handed the washcloth over to Rei. “You can wash your legs and stuff. Make sure to scrub hard.”
Rei simply held the washcloth for a moment, staring at it. Then he grabbed the bodywash, mimicking what he’d seen Kazuki do when he lathered the soap. Tentatively, he dipped the cloth underwater to scrub below his waist and slowly work his way up his thighs, his calves, his feet.
“Wash your ass, too,” Kazuki teased. Rei rolled his eyes but did what Kazuki asked. “Good. Now we just rinse the conditioner from your hair!”
Repeating the process from before, Kazuki poured handfuls of water over Rei’s head and gently massaged the conditioner from his tresses. His hair felt significantly softer than when they had started, but there were still some matted sections near Rei’s face that seemed beyond help. Unplugging the drain, the water from the tub began to loudly swirl away. Rei shivered when his dewy skin was exposed to the cool bathroom hair. Kazuki urged him to stand up and handed him a towel.
“Dry off and get dressed. I’m gonna go set stuff up out there so I can cut your hair,” Kazuki said with a warm smile. Rei nodded, completely unbothered at this point. He seemed complacent to go along with whatever Kazuki asked of him now. Kazuki liked to think that meant he understood what Kazuki has said to him. That he trusted Kazuki.
Daylight was all but gone outside now as Kazuki grabbed a stool and a rug and placed them near the dining table. A couple minutes later, Rei emerged from the bathroom back in his shirt and jeans, towel hanging around his neck. Already, he looked like a completely new person. Kazuki patted the stool.
“C’mere. Sit,” Kazuki said. As Rei did, Kazuki picked up the cutting cape and fastened it around the younger man’s neck. Then, the scissors.
“Not too short,” Rei grumbled. Kazuki smiled.
“You got it.”
Making careful, meticulous cuts, Kazuki slowly shortened the length of Rei’s hair. Slowly, it began to clean up and look more like the hair of a normal human being. The matted ends were shorn away, leaving the remaining hair feeling clean and silky. There was one last issue, however.
“This chunk of hair at the side of your face is matted all the way to the roots. I’ll have to cut it a lot shorter than everything else,” he warned. Rei shrugged. “I can do it on the other side, too, so it’s even. Shave the sides. It’s a trendy look I’ve seen people do. Then when they tie up their hair you can see the shaved part, but its hidden when the hair is down.”
“Fine with me,” Rei sighed.
Kazuki hadn’t thought to buy clippers, so he padded back to the bathroom to retrieve the razor and hair tie. He tied Rei’s bangs up and out of the way. Now for the trickiest part. Using the scissors, Kazuki cut away the matted hair as close to Rei’s scalp as possible, then mirrored it on the other side. Then, with the razor, he carefully shaved the sides down to look cleaner and more uniform. It wasn’t perfect; but it did look alright.
“There. So much better,” Kazuki said happily. Looking at his freshly bathed and groomed partner, his clean and newly furnished apartment around him, and the lack of acrid, heavy cigarette smell in the air… he felt far more accomplished than he ever could have expected.
Rei discarded the cape and went to check his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He never thanked Kazuki, and Kazuki didn’t really expect him to. He would be thanked in his own time. This was worth it. Rei may not know it yet, but he was grateful. Kazuki could feel it.
Walking back out of the bathroom, Rei’s face looked the same as ever. He ran a hand through his hair. “Not bad.” High praise coming from Rei.
“Hey, you were excited about that game system, right?” Kazuki asked. It had taken him extra time to get plugged in correctly and connected to the right Wi-Fi network. “Why don’t you mess around with that. I’ll make you the first proper dinner you’ve eaten in years.” Kazuki gave him his usual smug grin, but Rei only shrugged and walked over to the couch and picked up the game controller and TV remote.
Kazuki started on dinner. It was pretty late, and he’d had a very long day. But the adrenaline granted by a job well done was still spurring him on. The finish line was in sight. One last thing to solidify his dedication to gain Rei’s trust. His companionship, in his own way.
“It’s getting really dark outside,” Rei spoke up, drawing the blinds shut and returning to the couch. “You can just crash here, if you want.”
Yes, Rei would come to appreciate Kazuki’s kindness and thank him in his own way.