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“There’s no way you’re a failure, our mother protected her child at the risk of her own life and he was born with the spark of humanity.”
Sometimes, Sanji remembered his sister’s words, the revelation of his mother’s true motives, her sacrifice made out of love and out of hope.
And he can’t help but ask himself.
Was it worth it?
Was he worth it?
His mother gave her life for her children and yet the antidote she took only worked on him.
Was he worth her life?
Those are the questions that from time to time invade his head and he knows that it’s not healthy of him to keep wondering about it, not when his mom didn’t hesitate, not even once.
And that’s what he kept reminding himself, to wallow in the what if wouldn’t take him anywhere and it would be an insult to his mother’s memory.
So he just kept going, one day at a time, one meal after the last, with a dream to chase and his crew at his side.
“That’s why you’re kinder than everyone else.”
Kind, that’s what his sister called him.
But, what was kindness exactly?
Some days, Sanji found himself zoning out, it didn’t happen often but when it did he usually wasn’t aware of his surroundings or the things he was doing.
That’s why it took a sharp feel of pain for him to snap out of it.
“Fuck.” He hissed, staring down at his hand, where blood was oozing from his fingers from where he cut himself with the knife he was using to cut some fruit.
This was such a rookie mistake, if Patty or Carne could see him now they would be laughing his asses off at his expense.
Unfortunately, he didn’t have much time to think about it, because it seemed that his little situation caught the attention of their doctor, who was making him company in the galley.
Chopper was already out of his seat and sprinting towards him.
“Sanji!” He exclaimed. “Did you hurt yourself? Let me see!” He frantically asked.
“Chopper, I’m fine, it’s just a little cut.” He tried to calm the little render down, but deep down, he knew it was futile.
“Come with me to the infirmary, at least let me clean it and put a band - aid on it, please?” He put on his best puppy eyes and what was Sanji supposed to do? Say no? And risk having the fury of half the crew fall on him?
This was a battle he was meant to lose from the start, so he sighed. “Alright doc, let’s go.”
With a satisfied smile, Chopper nodded, took Sanji’s uninjured hand with both his hooves and started leading them out of the galley and towards the infirmary, thankfully, without anyone asking any questions.
Once they made it to the room, Chopper had Sanji sit on the bed while he gathered his supplies.
“You need to be more careful Sanji.” He said to him, while cleaning gently the wound, it stung a bit but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. “It’s rare for you to have accidents while cooking.”
Sanji flushed a bit at those words, embarrassed. “I was distracted, won’t happen again.”
The look Chopper gave him told him the reindeer wasn’t really convinced of his words and Sanji didn’t know if he should have felt offended by that.
Luckily enough, Chopper let the topic go, full focus going back to cleaning his wound; after he was done with that, he took a band - aid from his kit, applying it to his finger.
Seemingly satisfied with his work, he nodded. “All ready, you’re good to go, but please, be careful .”
“I will, I will,” he waved, standing up from the bed and making his way to the door. “And anyways, I know I have the best doctor in the ocean to take care of me in case anything happens.” He felt a smile form on his face when he heard the little doctor’s usual crusade when faced with praise.
And he thought.
Maybe kindness is Chopper’s care, to anyone who may need it, no matter how big or small the injury is, he will be there.
Sanji was with Usopp, taking a stroll through the new island they had docked in, it seemed calm and welcoming to pirates and Usopp had asked him to accompany him in his search for certain materials he needed to grow his plants.
Sanji, having already done his respective shopping, figured that nothing bad could come from it, so he said yes.
So here he was, waiting in the corner of a store while Usopp looked through different sets of tools, his bag already full of seeds that his long-nosed friend purchased a few stands away.
He was debating between lighting a cigarette or not when his thoughts were interrupted by a voice near him.
“It’s not gonna be ready, I’m going to fail and everyone is going to make fun of me.”
Turning his body, he was met with the figure of a boy, who couldn’t be older than 10 at most, his expression troubled and anxious, his hands fisting his hair in a way that Sanji was very familiar with.
For some reason, it made his heart ache.
He was already walking towards the kid, a question at the tip of his mouth, but it seemed that he wasn’t the only one who noticed the distraught boy, as Usopp got there before he could.
“Hey buddy.” Usopp said, voice soft. “Everything good over here?”
The boy startled, obviously not expecting anyone to notice his tumult, he raised his head until he could look at Usopp in the eyes, his mouth opening seemingly to say something before it closed just as fast, biting his lips, his eyes starting to water.
“Hey.” Usopp kneeled so he could be at the same height, his thumb wiping a stray tear that escaped the boy’s eye. “What’s wrong?”
The boy opened his mouth, his words coming in stutters and hitches. “I–I’m going to f–fail.”
“With what?”
“I–I t–told my class I will build a robot for the next show and tell, b–but I can’t and everybody is going to laugh at me.”
“And why is that?” Usopp asked him calmly.
“Because I don’t know how to make it move!” And he sounded angry now. “I can build it, but I don’t know how to program him.”
Sanji knew what Usopp was going to say before he even did it.
“What if we help you with that?” He offered, the boy’s head shot up.
“Y-You would do that, really?” And now he sounded hopeful.
Usopp smiled. “Of course, the Great Captain Usopp will offer his help, along with the assistance of some of his followers, right Sanji?”
And were it any other time, Sanji would have said something about the title, but not right now, not when this kid was looking at Usopp like he hung the moon and the stars.
“Alright kiddo, Great Captain Usopp, lead the way.”
The kid's big yelp of excitement made both men smile; grabbing his backpack, the kid was already running out of the door, instructing them to follow him, they did just that.
Assured that the kid couldn’t hear them, Sanji got closer to Usopp. “Want me to call Franky to help us out?” He whispered.
“Please do. ”
And that’s how in a small house, right at the outskirts of the town, you could find 3 pirates and one kid, working on making the best super robot a class has ever seen.
Franky’s words, not his.
“Alright little fella.” Franky said. “Let’s test this robot out.”
The kid nodded, a big smile on his face.
Usopp took the remote with one hand and the robot with the other, putting him on the floor.
“Alright, moment of truth.” He said before pressing a button; four pairs of eyes focused on the robot intently.
For a few minutes, nothing happened and just when everyone started to feel disheartened, the robot’s eyes lit up, his little arm moving.
‘Hi, I’m Rocket.’
The cheer was so loud, that Sanji was worried about the neighbors thinking something was wrong.
“It worked, It worked! ” The kid exclaimed, jumping high. “Thank you so much.” He threw himself at Usopp, hugging him hard.
Usopp laughed, hugging him back. “I told you kiddo, The Great Captain Usopp never fails on his word.”
Franky snickered. “Want to see what else this super robot can do?”
The boy nodded his head, hard. “Yes please!”
And as the three of them were playing with the robot, exploring every feature it had while Sanji observed them from his place on the couch, he thought.
Maybe kindness was this, the way Usopp offered his help to a kid he didn’t even know, the way Franky was on board to help immediately, no questions asked, if it only meant to make this kid happy.
Sanji was stuck on Zoro and Luffy’s babysitting duty, his sweet Nami making herself clear that he was in charge of avoiding the swordsman from getting lost and stopping whatever possibility their captain had of starting trouble in this new island they were at.
A tough job, but for his sweet Nami he would do anything.
So here he was, walking along his two crewmates and he already had to keep the mosshead from taking a wrong turn twice, his patience was being tested.
Luffy from his part, was calmly walking alongside them, which normally would be rare from his overactive captain but then again, maybe nothing in this particular alley caught his attention.
It wasn’t until they passed one particular stand, that the three of them stopped.
Volunteers needed at the community center. All help accepted..
Raising his eyebrow and noticing that both Zoro and Luffy had the same curious look in their eyes as he did, Sanji approached the stand.
“Pardon me, Madam.” Sanji called the attention of the old lady behind the table. “My friends and I were wondering what exactly do you mean by that sign?” He pointed to Luffy and Zoro behind him and then at the sign.
The old woman smiled. “Well dear, we are a little short staffed in the center right now, a lot of our usual volunteers have fallen sick with a virus that was going around the town for the last few weeks, so they’re unable to work.”
Sanji thought about it, they really didn’t have anything else to do and offering their help at the center would both avoid the mosshead from getting lost and Luffy from getting bored.
He turned to look back at his crewmates.
“What do you think?” He asked.
Luffy smiled. “Sure! It’s going to be fun!”
Zoro shrugged his shoulders, the corners of his mouth showing the start of a smile. “I guess there’s nothing wrong in trying it out.”
Sanji smiled, before facing the lady again. “Where do we sign?”
One hour later, Sanji was convinced that this was the best thing they could have decided to spend their day on. He was put in cooking and serving duty after he told the people in charge that he was a cook and given that he was currently helping to set up the tables for lunch, he had front row tickets to the best show of his life.
Because Luffy and Zoro got put in babysitting duty, which was hilarious all on its own, but no, it gets better , they were given costumes and Sanji has been chuckling ever since they showed up on them.
Because Luffy was in a beetle costume and he seemed to be having the time of his life, extending his limbs out of the costume, chasing the kids with a smile on his face, some of them even climbing all over him.
“Hey big bro.” A little girl called him, Luffy immediately giving her all his attention. “Do you want to play hide and seek?”
A chorus of enthusiastic agreements from all the other kids around her sealed the deal.
Luffy laughed. “Shishishi sure!” He put his beloved straw hat back on his head, on top of his costume and somehow, he made it work. “Alright, go hide!” And he started to count from 10, closing his eyes, the kids scrambling around in crackles of laughter. “Ready or not, here I come! ” He opened his eyes before taking off, looking for the kids, Sanji watching him with a fond expression before his attention went to his other crewmate.
And oh, the mosshead.
He was in an actual forest fairy elf costume and Sanji was actually kind of envious of how well it fit him, from the long sleeved shirt to the boots and even the wings.
Oh, how he wished he had the snail that could take pictures right now, he was sure his crewmates back at the ship would appreciate this vision.
But beyond Zoro looking as good in that costume as he looked funny, there was another thing Sanji noticed.
Zoro’s gentleness.
He was put in charge of the little ones, of the babies and toddlers and he was doing a remarkable job.
He had a baby in his arm, along with a bottle in his other hand, feeding the baby and all the while, his attention never left the rest of the kids seated around him, he was regaling them of stories of their adventures, obviously watered down and Sanji was sure that Usopp would be proud of Zoro’s storytelling abilities if he could see them.
“Mr. Elf, did you really take down an evil dragon and save the kingdom?” A little one asked him, her voice full of wonder and excitement.
Zoro looked at her, a smile so soft and gentle that if someone didn’t know him, they wouldn't believe that the Demon of the East could be capable of smiling like that.
“We sure did, do you see Mr. Beetle over there?” He tilted his head towards where Luffy was running around, looking for the kids. “He was the one that took the big bad dragon.”
“Really?!” Some of them asked, raising their voices a little too much, because the baby in Zoro’s arms started to fuse, disturbed by the loudness.
“Hey, hey.” Zoro called softly, leaving the bottle aside for a moment so he could use both of his arms, rocking the baby. “Calm down buddy, you’re safe here.”
The baby stopped fussing after a few minutes, falling asleep. After Zoro was sure he would not be disturbed, he looked back at the rest of the kids, his expression stern but gentle.
“You need to be a bit more calm guys, we don’t want to disturb him, do we?” He raised an eyebrow, waiting until he got a subdue affirmative from the kids, smiling after he got it. “Alright, who wants to hear more stories?”
The kids all answered in different kinds of affirmations, all shushed but excited.
And as Sanji was setting the table, he watched both of his crewmates show a side of themselves that they didn’t show so often, at least to people they didn’t know.
He thought.
Maybe kindness was this. Two of the strongest men he has ever known, who had defeated enemies that would bring nightmares to regular people and lived to tell the tale, show this gentle side, this caring side of themselves, agreeing to spend their days in ridiculous costumes, just to make these kids laugh and have a good time.
This was straight from Sanji’s nightmares.
Straight from those days he would rather forget but knows he never will.
This village was dying; of hunger no less.
They were starving.
From what Chopper could get from the weakened elder of the village, it was the deed of a devil fruit user, a pirate no less, who had the ability to turn food and crops into poison and he did so after his crew tried to rail the village only to find out that there was nothing worth on gold to steal from.
These people have been starving for two weeks .
Sanji knew exactly what that was like and he wouldn’t wish it upon even his worst enemies.
That feeling, of not knowing if your body was gonna resist one more day, if you were going to fall asleep only to never wake up again, that desperation that filled you, that chant in your mind.
Keep going. One day at a time. Help will come.
That lie you kept telling yourself, to try and keep alive the hope, that someone will come, someone will rescue you.
The uncertainty of not knowing if you were gonna make it, if fighting was worth it, would someone really lend you a hand?
This time at least, the answer was yes.
He was here , they were here and they could help these people.
They were not going to let them die.
Chopper was already working on a cure, Zoro following behind the frantic doctor to stop him from over-stressing. Usopp and Franky going with them, ready to figure out a way to save the crops, any kind of antidote that could restore them.
Nami and Robin were already with the children, comforting them, Jimbei and Brook right along with them trying to help the villagers in any way they could.
And then he was left behind, Luffy right beside him.
And Sanji knew what he wanted– no , what he needed to do.
But still.
This didn’t involve just him.
It wasn’t that they were low on food per se, he may even dare to say that he over-stocked the galley on the last island they docked at.
But the village, albeit small, was still filled with hungry people, ranging from all ages. If Sanji did what he wanted, he would have to ration anything he’s left with strictly, so they could last until they made land again.
It wasn’t a decision that would only affect him, but the rest of the crew too.
But he was determined.
So he turned, to face his Captain, a request ready in his mouth.
Luffy interrupted him, before the first word could even leave him.
“You want to feed these people.” And he wasn’t asking, no, he was stating a fact .
Sanji bit his lower lip, nodding his head slowly.
“I–I, Luffy, I need to , I can’t let them starve anymore, not when I’m here, not when I can help them, but I know this won’t just affect me , but all of us, but I swear you will not go hungry before we make land again, I wouldn’t let that happen, I–I can give myself smaller portions so you all can eat more, but Luffy please I need–”
His rambling was stopped, by the feeling of something being put in his head, when he focused his gaze he could see his captain smiling, hand extended, keeping his treasured straw hat right there on Sanji’s head.
“Sanji.” He said, calmly. “You really want to do this?”
Sanji nodded. “I can’t let anyone go hungry, Captain.”
“Well of course you can’t.” Luffy bristled but the smile was there. “ That’s how you are. ”
Sanji would deny it, but his eyes did water at those words, remembering the last time his Captain told him that, back when he felt that his world was coming apart.
Luffy would never know how much those words really meant to him, back then and just now.
“You want to cook for them?” Luffy asked, not waiting for an answer. “ Then do so Sanji , but save a bit for me.” He joked.
Sanji finally laughed, grateful. “Wouldn’t dream of forgetting, Captain.”
And that’s how, a few hours later, after Chopper figured out a cure, after Usopp and Franky worked on an antidote for the crops, Sanji cooked a feast fit for a King, these people deserved it, after the hell they were put through and in the name of his honor as a First Class Cook, he was damn well gonna deliver.
The tears in the eyes of every single villager after tasting his food and the words of gratitude they were throwing his way filled Sanji’s heart with warmth.
From a makeshift table, a bit away from them, he kept watching them, his crew around him eating from their own plates.
He figured he needed to thank them for allowing him to get away from this scheme.
“Thank you.” He whispered softly, without really looking at them, his head down; not really expecting for anyone to hear him at first, but they all did, stopping their meals and turning to look at them.
“What do you mean, Sanji?” His dear Robin asked him.
“For going along with this selfish petition of mine.” He signaled to the grateful villagers still deep into their meals. “I may have made our journey to the next island a bit harder because of this, so thank you.”
He waited for someone to say something, but nobody did, after a few moments of silence, he finally lifted his head, coming face to face with the exasperated and incredulous looks his crewmates were throwing his way.
“What?” He dumbly asked, their stares making him nervous.
“Selfish? You? Cook, are you even hearing yourself?” Zoro said in an exasperated manner.
“Did you not realize what you just did Sanji?” Nami said after him.
“Sanji, you saved these people.” Usopp said.
Sanji blushed a bit, shaking his head. “No, we all did , Chopper found the cure and you and Franky saved the crops.”
“Well sure.” Franky intervened. “But if the people were left starving, our work wouldn’t have been of much use.”
“He’s right.” Chopper joined in the conversation. “You really outdid yourself, Sanji.”
“Look at them son.” Jimbei said. “Look at how happy they are.”
“After the hell they were put through, you made them smile again.” Brook mentioned.
“And they will always be grateful for that.” Robin added.
“You could never be selfish, Sanji.” Luffy said, his smile never leaving his face. “Because you’re always kind. ” He concluded, the rest of his friends nodding their heads in agreement.
Kind.
There it was again, that word.
And sometimes– or well, a lot of times , he wouldn’t exactly use it to describe himself, having witnessed kindness from the people around him ever since he was a kid, from his mother, from his sister in her own kind of way, from that old man that barely knew him and still gave a part of himself to save an ungrateful brat.
And he keeps witnessing, every single day, from these crew, in the big things they do, in the little things they do.
Kindness comes in many forms.
Sanji is a front row witness of that.
So maybe he is kind, his mother gave her life so her son could live however he wanted to and maybe his sister was correct in her statement, but to Sanji, it isn’t always about being kind or not.
It’s about doing what feels right.
And he knows his crew relates perfectly to that.
So he smiles, grateful for having accepted that invitation 2 years ago, if it only meant he could be right here with this family.
“Thank you guys, I mean it.”
And the smiles they send his way make his heart feel light.
He was really lucky to be alive, right here, right now .