Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Alex jumped, throwing the blanket off her body. She blinked rapidly, the room around her slowly coming into view as her eyes adjusted. She gripped the blanket tighter. Alex took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Wind rattled her window panes, the house creaked in the ways it always had. But underneath it all, there were footsteps. Something was in here. Alex groped for the iron sword she kept at her bedside.

Living in a secluded area, be it people or mobs, she saw her fair share of crazy. Steve called her insane, but it was always better to be paranoid and overprepared, than be fucked later. Alex found the hilt. She pulled the sword towards her. Slid off the bed. She padded to the door. Gripped her sword tighter. Fear pooled in her stomach. Alex peeked her head out from her door. She scanned the darkness in front of her. Heart pounding. She snuck out of her room. Avoiding the creaky floorboards. Her front door was still closed. She let out a sigh of relief. The dark shapes of her living room looked normal. The sword shook in her hands as Alex held her breath. To her left was her kitchen, where the noises were coming from. Blinking sleep out of her eyes, she advanced forward. The floorboards creaked loudly beneath her. The noises stopped.

“Fuck.” She pressed herself against the wall.

“Alex?”

“Herobrine?” And sure enough, when she rounded the corner to her kitchen, Herobrine was standing there. Alex flicked the lights on and blinked rapidly.

Herobrine hissed and closed his eyes, flinching at the sudden light. Alex was frozen in place, jaw on the floor. He was swaying on his feet, dripping in blood, clothes tattered, and covered in ash. The last time she’d seen him was months ago when he and Steve had dragged her on one of their stupid adventures. Now the thing is in her kitchen. Herobrine was covered in blood. In her kitchen. Fuck he’s in my kitchen.

“Dude what the fuck.”

“It’s not mine.” He scowled at her.

“Oh perfect that makes it so much better.” She wanted to step closer and make sure it, in fact, wasn’t his blood, but every instinct in her body rooted her in place. It’s not mine. Steve flashed through her mind.

“Where’s Steve?”

“I-its not—” Herobrine choked, coughing, “It’s not his.”

“Okay…” She fought to keep her voice level. 

Herobrine eyed her sword, eye twitching. “Fuck where am I. You’re not supposed to be here.” He winced with the effort of speaking. Herobrine's face betrayed every emotion that he felt. Shifting from anger, to pain, confusion, and something hard for Alex to pin down. Guilt?

“Who’s supposed to be here? You’re in my house, dude.” Then it clicked. Steve. Fucking obviously. “Did you go to Steve’s first? Is he out?” Of fucking course.

Herobrine wouldn’t make eye contact with her, and his eyes were brighter than she’d ever seen them. She took a deep breath and let the silence grow, hoping the other would speak first. When he didn’t, and continued to stand there, not breathing, she rolled her eyes. She was too tired for this. Taking a deep breath, she rubbed at her face with her free hand.

“What happened?” Alex went to put the sword on the kitchen counter, and the other jumped back, snarling at her, hands sparking. His heavy presence filled the small space. Alex froze, throat tightening as panic boiled inside her ribs. “Shit, calm down!” Herobrine flinched back as Alex yelled, dark energy dissipating immediately.  “I hate when you do that.” She could feel her hands shaking as the air in the kitchen returned back to normal.

“Sorry.” Herobrine swayed dangerously, having to spread his arms out to keep his balance.

“Little warning next time.” She mumbled. 

“Sorry.” Herobrine's voice was quiet. Alex closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, counting all the way to fifteen. Ten wasn’t enough. She opened her eyes to Herobrine perfectly still, looking at her as though she was made of glass.

“It’s okay, I’m fine. What happened?” She repeated, stepping closer with her palms up. 

He growled and looked away from her. “Nothing.” Aether help her.

“Right.” She gestured to the blood everywhere. Now that she was closer, she could tell this was mob blood. Mixed in with the thick blood, was a weird black ooze. Alex felt herself relax a little. Judging from the ash covering the other’s skin, it was a Nether mob. Her eyes widened. “Fuck you’re bleeding.” Her hands hovered over the gash in his side. 

“It’s fine. I’m going…” He trailed off in Aetherian, looking around the room, and stumbling backwards into the table, legs shaking as he held himself up. 

Alex stepped forward, arms out in case he fell. “Woah, hey, first off, you’re not going anywhere, and second, I can’t understand you.”

"ᓭ𝙹∷∷||,  ╎'ᒲ  ᓭ𝙹∷∷||"

“Still don’t speak Aetherian.” She caught the word ‘sorry’, but she was far from fluent. Alex lifted his shirt to see the extent of the damage, and cringed. “What did this?”

“ℸ ̣⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ↸ᔑᒲリ –” Herobrine grabbed his head, bending over as if in pain. “Bitch swung at me.” He sounded breathless. His face flashed with confusion.

 A sudden realization dawned on her. She looked outside her dark window. A storm was rolling in, evident from the strong winds outside and the ominous clouds that had been looming over her house all day. Alex wasn’t an idiot, she knew what storms and a cut-up Herobrine meant.

“Was it…” Alex pointed up at the ceiling. Genuine, palpable fear flashed through Herobrine’s eyes, and his breathing hitched. He looked back at the window as the rain started. It looked like he was waiting for something. She stood there, silently waiting for a response. When none was given, she sighed. There was no way she could go back to sleep now. 

“I’m going to take a wild guess.” Alex started to lift Herobrine’s tattered shirt up further. “Your brother is involved somehow but isn’t actually here?” Herobrine didn’t take his eyes off the window. He let her take his shirt off. He was too pliable. Her touch was too easy, too casual. Something was definitely wrong. She dropped the shirt to the floor.

“Oh wow.” His entire midsection was cut up and bleeding. The bruises and smaller wounds were healing slower than she thought they should be. He was in bad shape. 

“Fuck, what happened to you?” She whispered. “And what the hell is all this black goo?” She wasn’t too worried, but his reaction when she’d asked about the Aether had scared her. And last, she checked Herobrine didn’t bleed black.

“Wither.” He groaned, eyes unfocused and wandering around the room, not locking in on anything. “Too many. Got…” he took a deep breath, “overwhelmed. That’s what…” Herobrine gestured to the cut in his side, trailing off. 

All of a sudden everything clicked for Alex. Herobrine's confusion, his stumbling, his healing factor being all off. He was infected with wither. Alex wanted to strangle him. She pulled a chair out and pushed down on his shoulder. Herobrine slumped into it, staring up at her. 

“Sit. I’m getting you milk.” Alex moved towards the fridge, praying there would at least be a drop. She opened the fridge and felt like the luckiest girl in the Overworld. A full carton was sitting in the fridge door. She grabbed it and placed it on the counter, moving to fumble around in her cabinets for a cup. “Is that why you’re not healing?” 

“Maybe.”

“Next time don’t square up against a wither. How many did you fight anyway?” She turned to him, and he shrugged. Steve had told her about how Herobrine hunted in the Nether to blow off steam. A part of her wondered if there was more to it than that. Alex poured generously into the cup and returned to Herobrine's side. He eyed the milk, but didn’t move to take it. Alex groaned.

She took a sip of the milk, gesturing to herself when nothing happened. Alex grabbed his hand and pressed the cup into it. She helped him lift the cup to his lips and watched as he drank. She lowered the cup when he moved away from it and placed it on the table. “You’re one paranoid motherfucker.” 

Herobrine wiped his mouth with his hand and sank into the chair as the milk worked through his system. The effects were almost immediate. Herobrine half-moaned as he relaxed into the chair. His half-lidded eyes fell on her as his head lolled against the back of the chair. Herobrine's breath evened out, and he tried to focus on Alex. When his arm came up, hand reaching for her, she gently took his hand in hers. The first thing she noticed was that he wasn’t shaking anymore. 

“Thanks…” His eyes slipped closed, arm going limp.

“Anytime man, seriously.” Alex let go of his hand, gently letting it hang limp at his side. She got the sudden urge to run a hand through his hair. “If you need another glass it’s on the table, alright?” When she received no response she moved towards the sink. 

Alex grabbed a towel, slowly running it under warm water and returned to the other. Gingerly, Alex touched the area near the wound. She pulled away once Herobrine hissed, muscles tensing. The cut was jagged and definitely hurt like hell. Alex cringed at the sudden intrusive thought of a sword slicing through the other. She peeked up at Herobrine as she wiped the goo from his body, trying to be as gentle as possible. Herobrine's eyes were two slits of white. His face was pinched with pain. 

He hissed as Alex pressed the towel into him. He swatted her hand away. “Get off me.” He snarled. “It hurts.”

“It wouldn’t hurt if you hadn't fought that horde.” 

“Just leave me alone.”

“You came to me. Stay still.” Herobrine grumbled something out in Aetherian but made an effort to flinch less. Alex felt anger explode in her gut. How Steve dealt with all this never failed to amaze her. Not even ten minutes in and she was already sick of Herobrine and his attitude.

She pressed the towel to the wound again and Herobrine tensed, gripping the sides of the chair. This time he offered no complaint. Alex had managed to wipe away the blood and goo, she realized that it looked way worse than it actually was. Alex let out a small sigh of relief. And now that the wither effects were wearing off, he was actually showing signs of healing. Or at least getting better. It was nothing life threatening. Alex almost laughed at the thought. Herobrine was immortal… nothing was life threatening for him. Recently, she had found herself forgetting just who Herobrine was. Alex pressed the towel onto the wound itself, and tried maneuvering Herobrine’s hand to hold it in place. 

“No. Don't need it.” Herobrine mumbled, pushing the towel away.

“You’re welcome.” Alex stood up and threw the towel and the previously discarded shirt onto the counter, deciding she’d clean up later. Herobrine's face had gained a little bit of color back, but it was obvious he wasn’t back to normal. Alex bit her lip, watching him clutch his stomach in pain. The milk was probably warring with the wither effects still. Wordlessly, Alex poured him another glass. She left it on the table and went to leave the carton in the fridge. Alex surveyed the contents of her fridge, realizing she really needed to do her groceries. 

“Do you want something to eat?” Alex asked turning back to Herobrine, who was once again eyeing the milk as if it was going to kill him. She sighed. “Drink the milk. It’ll help.” He mumbled something out in Aetherian and Alex narrowed his eyes at him. “Drink it.” Herobrine glared at her but took the glass and began taking small sips, growing more confident after each one. Alex took a loaf of bread out of the fridge, and left it on the counter.  She kicked the fridge door shut with her foot. Alex took another deep breath, and counted to fifteen again. Ten still wasn’t enough.

“What if I die?” Herobrine's voice wavered. Alex opened her eyes, wanting to ask if he was serious but the words died in her throat when she saw the panic clear on his face.

“You’re not going to die. And you’ll respawn anyway…” Alex walked back to him, and offered him her hands. “What we’re going to do right now, is stand up and go take a shower.”

He nodded and swatted her hands away. “I can get up by myself.” Alex took another deep breath, swallowing down her anger. What was Steve always telling her to do, find her happy place?

Herobrine planted a hand on the table, grabbed the back of the chair and lifted himself up, face twisting in pain. Alex watched Herobrine wobble as he stepped towards her, and away from the table. The color drained from his face.

“Ah fuck—” His entire form glitched suddenly and he fell back against the table, fully this time, but caught himself with his hand, trembling. Alex surged forward, and grabbed onto his arm to support him when he reached for her. He was holding himself up with one hand steady on the table, and with the other, he gripped into Alex’s shoulder. Searing heat blew off him in waves. She ignored it, shivering at the sudden change in temperature.

“Fuck I’m gonna pass out.” Herobrine's chest heaved, gasping for air. His head dropped down to his chest, eyes fluttering. 

“No you won’t, just sit here for a second okay. Breathe.” Alex helped him down into the chair again, smoothing his hair back. She pursed her lips together, and rubbed at his arm with her thumb, trying to offer any kind of comfort. They stayed like that for a while. When Alex offered him her hands, Herobrine took them and let her pull him up. He still looked a little spacey.

“Are you okay?” Alex didn’t like the distant look in his eyes. Or the way he still swayed on his feet. There were a lot of things Alex didn’t like about Herobrine's current state.

Herobrine swallowed. “I’m in your house.” He whispered, voice thick. A muscle in his jaw twitched. He pushed her away from him, eyeing the iron sword. Alex stepped in front of him, blocking his view of it, so entirely confused.

“You’re with me, in my kitchen.” Alex looked around. “You’ve been in my kitchen.”

“Okay.” Herobrine swallowed hard. Alex’s eyes flicked down to the wound, and back up to the other's face. It had stopped bleeding. She needed to get him cleaned up. 

“C’mon.” She tugged on his arm and Herobrine followed her. He was mumbling under his breath in Aetherian. Once she crossed into the darkness of her living room, he stopped, pulling her back into the light. Alex stumbled, turning to face Herobrine. His eyes were wide, and he was breathing heavily again. 

“Woah, what’s wrong?” 

“I can’t–” Herobrine pressed a hand to his eyes, face scrunching like he was in pain. “It’s dark.” Herobrine’s eyes pleaded with her. Alex narrowed her eyes at him, and pulled him into the darkness. Lightning lit up the living room. His grip on her hand tightened, but he followed her. Thunder rumbled in the distance. It was growing closer. The bright glow of his eyes disappeared. Alex peeked at him and saw he had screwed his eyes shut. She groped her way to the bathroom as her eyes adjusted to the dark, and fumbled with the doorknob before flicking the lights on. As soon as light flooded the room, Herobrine appeared in front of her, stumbling out of his sloppy teleport, and fell to the floor.

“Yes, finally.” He mumbled from the tiles.

“Hey, careful.” Alex closed the door behind her, and rushed towards Herobrine. “Don’t teleport.” He was shaking. 

Alex looked him over. The smaller cuts had finally healed and the bruises looked a little better. The wound on his side had scabbed over in the time it had taken her to drag him into the bathroom. She sighed in relief. Alex kneeled in front of him then and smiled, trying to figure out what to say. He’d been in the Nether, that much was obvious. “Do you know how long you were in the Nether for?” Herobrine stopped breathing, hands shaking as he looked at the blood caked under his fingernails. He shook his head, opening his mouth as if to say something.  “Are you okay?”

A small sob escaped his lips and he looked away from her, curling his legs up to his chest. Alex blinked in surprise. Herobrine had never cried in front of her before. Now she really was worried. “Hey hey, you’re okay…” Slowly, she slid her hand beneath his chin, turning his face towards her. His eyes were wide and teary, lower lip quivering. She breathed out a small laugh and pulled him closer to her. He smelled of iron and ash, and she eyed the tub next to them. 

The second her arms pulled him in, he buried his face in her shoulder and cried. His arms lay limp at his sides as she stroked his hair and shushed him. Her knees ached from kneeling on the tiled floor, but she stayed right where she was. It was rare for her to see him like this, and imagined tonight was different because of how exhausted the other was. The other reason being that Steve was out, and he got the brunt of it. It was always hard. She never knew what to say, and didn’t know much about his breakdowns except that it was usually Aether-related. What she did know how to do was get him under a hot shower, make some tea, and go back to sleep. 

“Sorry.” He pulled away from her, wiping at his eyes with his hands. He smeared ash across his face, glaring at the floor while more tears dripped from his chin. 

“Don’t apologize,”  Alex whispered. “It’s okay.”  His face scrunched, and he wiped his nose with the back of his hand, holding his breath to get it under control. 

“Steve said talking helps.” He refused to look at her. “But I can’t…” His nails dug into the palms of his hand, fists shaking with the effort. “This is… you wouldn’t–” He hiccuped.

“Whatever happened is your business. Not mine. If you want to tell me you can.” She cupped his face, thumbing over the tear marks. Herobrine leaned into her touch. “I promise I won’t tell Steve.” She added, trying to lighten the mood.

“I respawned in there and I…” Herobrine couldn’t look at her, shrinking away from her the longer he spoke. “Don’t let me die.” He choked on another sob.

“You definitely won’t die. Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” She pulled him onto his feet, pulling away once he leaned on the wall. His breathing hitched again and he huffed in annoyance. “You’re okay. You’re safe here.”

“Right.” His voice cracked, and he clenched his fists tighter. She dropped her hands to his and held them, gently thumbing over his bloodied knuckles. Slowly, she unfurled his fists so his sharp nails weren’t digging into his calloused hands. He stood there, arms hanging limply at his sides and staring off into the mirror, bottom lip trembling. He was leaning heavily against the wall. 

Wordlessly, Alex undid his belt buckle, pulled the belt from the loops in his jeans, and let it clang to the floor. Herobrine flinched back, pressing himself against the wall. Alex shushed him, petting his arm gently. She let the silence grow. She unzipped his pants and moved from him then so he could pull them down. Herobrine was naked in front of her, shivering. Alex turned the redstone faucet on all the way to boiling. It would probably ruin her redstone, or whatever Steve was always complaining about whenever Herobrine was over, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was getting Herobrine clean and warm.

“I’m going to grab you some clothes, you get in okay?” He eyed the shower, dropped his head and shrugged. “Here.” Alex reached behind him and grabbed a towel from a hook. “Use this so you don’t get cold.” She wrapped the towel around him and slid outside. 

Once the bathroom door clicked shut behind her, Alex dragged her hands across her face. God what happened to him? I respawned there. If Notch was involved, then she really was fucked. From the things she’d heard, this hatred the two had for each other was serious. It had lasted for millennia, and it would last for a thousand more. Not even Steve knew much about it, and that’s what frightened her. Alex knew about his banishment and knew the legends and folklore that Steve had scoffed at. But that was it. They hadn’t had time to talk and seriously exchange notes. Fuck. She was flying in blind. Alex took a deep breath, trying to dispel the anxiety curling around her gut. She made a mental list in order to calm herself down. Focus on things she could control. Clothes, shower, tea, sleep. All she wanted was to go back to sleep. She slipped into her room.

Alex turned the lights on and rummaged around for any clothes Steve left behind at her place the last time he was here. Turns out, Steve left a lot of clothes when he slept over so she picked out a few that looked like they would fit Herobrine. They would be a little big but anything would work at this point. She returned to the bathroom and dropped the new clothes on the toilet lid. Herobrine had inched closer to the shower and was watching the water swirl around the drain. He was shaking, this time, Alex thought, from the cold. She slid her pants off, and left them on the floor. They were too long and risked getting wet. She tucked the short-sleeves of her shirt up over her shoulders to get them out of the way.

“Alright c'mon, I’ll help you.” She took the towel from him and helped him climb into the tub. 

“I should have stayed in the Nether…” Herobrine’s voice cracked, and he looked away from her then, leaning hard against the wall furthest from the spray. “I shouldn’t have come—“

“Let’s just focus on cleaning you off okay? You’re in my house, in the Overworld.” She put her hair up in a bun and fought against asking what happened for the umpteenth time. Whatever it was, it had shaken him. 

“I’m in the Overworld.” Herobrine looked at her with so much intensity it almost floored her. “I’m in your house.”

“I promise.” She tested the temperature. It was hot, almost too much for her tastes, which meant it was perfect. Alex maneuvered the other under the water, and climbed into the tub with him. She slowly turned him around so his back was facing her. She pumped soap onto her hand and gently rubbed it into suds. Herobrine flinched as she slid across tense muscles, but he slowly relaxed into her touch the longer she washed the blood and ash from him. Trying to be gentle, Alex scraped her fingernails across the dried blood, attempting to take it off. The majority of it was melting off of him, collecting at his feet, and slipping down the drain. The red pooled around their feet, stark against the white of the tub. When she turned him around to face her, Herobrine refused to look at her, and stared off into the tiled wall behind her head.

Alex moved on to his arms, thoroughly washing the grime off of them. Herobrine stayed silent, letting her move and maneuver him however she wanted. His eyes were unfocused, face tense. She grabbed the detachable shower head then and let the water slide across his chest, his abs, his legs, washing away all that nasty stuff. Her hand moved from caressing his cheek, to wiping off crusted blood on his chest, to just resting on his body, trying to keep him grounded. Herobrine refused to speak while she rinsed off the blood. Once she was satisfied she turned the water off and placed the shower head on the ground. Alex motioned for the other to sit down. She helped him lower himself to the floor of the tub. Alex grabbed her shampoo and placed the bottle next to Herobrine. She sat on the edge of the tub, leaning over him. He looked absolutely miserable.

“You’re gonna smell like flowers.” She laughed, trying to poke fun at him. He curled in on himself further, not offering a response.

Alex wormed her hand into his hair, scratching behind his ear. Herobrine leaned into her, sighing. She picked up the shower head from the floor, and tilted his head back, moving her hand to his forehead to make sure the water didn’t run into his eyes. Herobrine closed his eyes, leaning into the warm water. She handed the shower head to him, squirted shampoo on his head, and started working it into his hair. They sat in silence for a long time. In the silence, she could hear stuttered breathing, and could see him gripping into his arm with his free hand. 

She massaged his scalp for longer than she needed to. He offered no complaint. His shoulders shook, breath coming out in uneven gasps. The small scars on his arms had started to fade. He looked better now that he wasn’t covered in grime. Wordlessly, she took the shower head from him and rinsed the shampoo out of his hair, massaging him with her hand, and letting the water just slide over him. Once all the suds had washed down the drain. Alex stepped out, and connected the shower head to the wall again, deciding to let the water run for a few more minutes.

The other didn’t move a muscle. He sat on the floor of the bathtub beneath the water, his head on his knees, and his arms crossed around his legs. Alex dried off and slipped back into her pants as fast as possible. She turned the water off and gently shook Herobrine’s shoulder. Wordlessly, he turned his head towards her, eyes puffy and red. Alex offered him a sympathetic smile and helped him climb out. 

Alex grabbed a towel from the hook on the wall and handed it to Herobrine. She gathered his bloodied clothes, deciding she would dump them in the kitchen sink. Alex turned around to discard the towel and allowed him to dress himself. This was most likely already humiliating enough for him. Alex didn’t want to push it. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t seen before, but it felt right to at least give him this. She stayed turned until he wordlessly reached for her shoulder. The grey sweatpants and black shirt she had chosen fit him well, but the dark red sweater—one of Steve’s favorites—was a little big on him. Absent-mindedly, she noticed that in her rush, she had accidentally grabbed the socks she had given Steve as a gag gift: bright pink with white polkadots. It would have been funny under different circumstances.

Alex rubbed Herobrine’s wet hair with the towel, and breathed out a laugh when it stuck up in random places. “There. Dry and clean.” She dropped the towel to the floor. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” He refused to look at her as fresh tears fell from his eyes.

“It might help to talk about it.”

He shook his head in defeat, and moved away from her then, wiping at his face. 

“That’s fine.” Alex held her hand out, palm up. She felt her heart shatter as she watched him eye it cautiously, hand shaking as he reached for her, grasping on tightly. “Now, c’mon. I’ll make you tea or something. Whatever you want.” Herobrine looked down at the floor. Alex turned and opened the door, deciding to leave Herobrine’s towels for tomorrow, but grabbed his bloodied clothes. She turned the lights off, shrouding them in darkness. She felt his nails grip into her hand. Alex could hear his stuttered breathing behind her.

She led him to the kitchen where the lights were still on, and cringed at the dirty shirt and dish towel on the counter. Alex discarded the rest of the bloodied clothes on the counter. 

“Ss—“ he coughed as though speaking was physically hurting him, “…sorry…”

Alex led him back to the table and sat him down. “It’s okay. I’m glad you came to me.” Herobrine's eyes widened, as if he wasn’t expecting her to want him around, and he clenched his fists in his lap as more tears fell. Alex offered a sympathetic smile and combed her fingers through his damp hair. “How do you feel about tea? Maybe milk?”

Herobrine stayed silent. Alex waited. The wind had picked up outside and it smacked the low-hanging branches across the glass panes, rattling against the windows. The rain outside had intensified. 

“Tea please.” Herobrine mumbled. 

“Do you want bread? It’ll help soak up the wither effect.” 

His eyes flicked up at her.  “Not hungry.” Alex gave him one last reassuring shoulder squeeze and moved to start brewing the tea. Alex started moving around the kitchen, making sure not to make unnecessary noise. As she passed the sink she dropped the kitchen towel and clothes in, and turned the faucet on cold. Alex waited until the towel and clothes were submerged and turned the faucet off. They would soak overnight and tomorrow Alex would try to clean the blood off them. She had low hopes. The rain had intensified and a few stray rumbles of thunder growled in the distance.

While the water boiled, Alex leaned against the kitchen wall, and watched Herobrine sit at the table. His eyes were empty. Steve had talked about it before, the look Herobrine got when he was lost. Alex picked at her fingernails, thinking about whether she should say something. Her throat tightened with the need to speak. The silence was overbearing, and Herobrine’s eyes were the dimmest she had ever seen them. It unnerved her. 

Alex coughed. Herobrine flinched, staring up at her. “You think my farm’s flooded by now?” He blinked at her question. “I planted some wheat out back the other day, and wasn't expecting the rain.” Herobrine looked at the window, watching the raindrops slide across the glass. He shrugged. Okay this was going to be harder than she thought. Although… watching Herobrine stare out the window, fists shaking on the table, she wondered how many times Steve had to deal with this.

Herobrine put his head on the table. They stayed in silence, waiting for the water to boil. Once it finally did Alex took two mugs out from the cabinet and poured the hot water in, and left two tea bags in the water. As Alex moved around, Herobrine hadn’t moved a muscle. The only indicator that he wasn’t dead asleep was the way he would flinch as the storm grew closer. In the time it had taken for the water to boil and the tea to steep, thunder crashed above her house, and lightning flashed across the sky, lighting her window up. 

Once she deemed the tea ready she brought the cups to the table and set a mug in front of Herobrine. He lifted his head and his lip twitched upwards in a half-hearted smile. Alex sat down and took a sip, letting the silence around them grow. She wanted to ask about the wither skeletons, about the respawn in the Nether, about why he was even in there in the first place, but swallowed those questions down. 

Lightning flashed through the windows and she watched Herobrine’s entire body tense. Alex cleared her throat. “I used to hate storms too. As a kid.” The thunder roared above them and he visibly relaxed, a breath stuttering out of him. She reached across the table, offering him her hand. He latched on immediately. “I hated them because I was always scared the lightning would strike something and start a fire. That and the thunder was really fucking loud.” She laughed softly, trying to diffuse the heaviness in the room. Silence gathered around them as lightning flashed again. She watched as Herobrine tried to take deep breaths. 

“Sorry, I don’t really know what else to say.” They sat in silence. Herobrine stared at the tea, gripping into the cup with one hand. He refused to let go of Alex with the other. Alex found herself wishing Steve would open the door and help. She sucked at this. Especially because most times, she knew the root of the problem was left over from the Nether. And consequently why he was in the Nether in the first place. It was hard to forget that the man before her wasn’t some victim. At least not completely. She couldn’t offer comfort the same way Steve could. For Steve, forgiveness and comfort was second nature. It was like breathing to him. Alex knew that deep down, Steve acknowledged Herobrine as a threat, but sometimes it felt like she was the only one who remembered who they were really dealing with here.

“I went to the Nether…” Herobrine's voice startled her out of her thoughts. “… to blow off steam. You know.” 

Alex nodded, taking a sip of her tea. “I don’t think that’s a smart idea.”

“Neither does Steve.” Herobrine stared into his cup. “I uh, fought a horde. It was too big.”

“You shouldn’t have fought a wither horde to begin with Herobrine.” Alex took another sip of her tea. The rain slammed hard against her roof.

“I know…” He gripped her hand as lightning flashed. “But it helps.” Thunder crashed and he relaxed his grip again. 

“With what?” Alex rubbed her thumb in shapes on his hand. Herobrine's face scrunched up, and he looked away. She had pressed too hard. 

“Doesn’t matter.” He let go of her hand, and gripped onto the cup with both hands. The silence gathered between them. Alex watched as Herobrine flinched each time lightning flashed across the sky. Alex was fighting to keep her eyes open. All she wanted was for Steve to come through that door and take this problem off her hands. She was horrible at talking. Alex knew the polite thing to do here was to offer Herobrine the space to talk about whatever had happened in the Nether, and she wanted to be there, but… flashes of the old folklore filled her mind's eye. Alex remembered the horror stories she had cowered at as a kid, could still remember the first time she had whispered Herobrine’s name out in the dark as though testing if he really would show up. But that legend of old, that monster, was in her kitchen, flinching at every lighting strike. His hands were shaking. He was terrified. Herobrine looked human right now. Something in Alex was shifting, and she didn’t know how to feel about it. He opened his mouth as if to say something, and Alex leaned closer.. 

“They killed me.” He spat the words out like they were cursed. “I respawned.” 

Alex narrowed her eyes. “Uh duh, I mean if either me or Steve went up against a horde—”

“I was scared I wouldn’t…” Herobrine interrupted, voice cracking. Fresh tears gathered in his eyes and he let go of the cup in favor of wiping at his face. 

“Scared you wouldn’t…?”

“That I wouldn’t come back.”

Alex’s eyes widened. “Wait, that can happen?”

“No.”

Alex was stumped again. “So why were you afraid you wouldn’t come back?” 

Herobrine flinched against the lightning. Thunder crashed instantly. The storm was right above them. “He,” Herobrine glared at the window, “would keep me dead.”

Alex’s mouth tasted like rot. “What.” He would keep me dead. “Notch would keep you dead? Herobrine, what does that mean?”

Herobrine fell silent and pushed the cup away from him. His face scrunched up. “I can’t-“

“Did he…” Alex had an idea of what that meant. Alex would never forget how heavy Herobrine's body had been the first time she had seen him respawn. How still and lifeless, and how she had needed to wait for each life threatening wound to stitch itself back together. She was suddenly assailed by brutal image after image of Notch hacking away at Herobrine’s corpse. She blinked trying to get the images out of her head. “Herobrine—”

“Please.” Herobrine wouldn't look at her. He was staring into his untouched tea. “Please, Alex.” Herobrine was the quietest she had ever heard him. Alex’s throat was closing. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, and needed to ask, but his quivering lower lip, and the tears gathering in his eyes, had Alex shutting up. Herobrine held his breath. Alex watched him clench his fists. Her mind was racing, warring between asking anyway and recognizing that this was not the time. What would Steve do? 

The storm raged above them. Alex worked up the courage to speak. “You’ve never been scared to die before, why’s today any different?”

An ugly sob ripped out of Herobrine. Alex flinched back, startled by the force of it. Herobrine shoved his face in his hands and stilled. Alex blinked. Shit. Guilt slammed into her. This was her fault, she had pushed too far. Herobrine sat deathly still in the chair. Occasionally, a heavy, stuttered breath would break the silence. Alex was frozen, mind racing, trying to come up with something, anything, to say. She couldn’t. She watched as the other sobbed into his hands, feeling her chest burning.

Alex clenched and unclenched her hands, replaying the events of tonight. Herobrine had been in the Nether, for how long, she didn’t know, he had fought a horde, and he was terrified of respawns. Lightning cracked across the sky and she watched him tense, relaxing once the thunder vibrated through her walls. He’s scared of lightning. And then it clicked. It had been summer, a storm had rolled through, and Steve had made an offhanded comment about Herobrine hating storms because of Notch. Alex hadn’t pressed and the conversation ended there. Alex knew, from the folklore she had devoured as a child, that Notch controlled the skies. The golden apple was his symbol, the one everyone associated with the scriptures and the powerful God. But his original symbol, when thousands of years ago the lore included more than one god, had been a lightning bolt. He had been the god of lightning. Fuck.

“Hey, Hero.” Alex gulped. Herobrine looked up at her, tears streaming down his face. His expression was terrifying. Where a normal person would have had a quivering lip, a frown, anything, Herobrine’s face was completely lax. If he hadn't been crying, she wouldn’t know anything was wrong. “I’m sorry.” Alex stood slowly, not wanting him to spook. “I didn’t know all of this was… Notch related.” Herobrine’s eyes widened, fear flashing across his features, before the mask dropped again. Lightning flashed and she watched his eye twitch. “Sorry, fuck.” 

Her hand hovered over his shoulder, not knowing whether to offer comfort or not. The decision was made for her when lightning lit up her windows and thunder crashed so loudly in the sky. Herobrine flinched so hard he almost fell into her. He whimpered. Alex yawned. Fuck how late is it? 

“Hey lets... Uh, head to bed.” Herobrine didn’t look at her. “I just have to find extra blankets, I know you get cold easily… it wouldn’t be a problem if Steve had actually come over to fix my heating when I asked him but here we are.” Alex took the mugs and walked back to the sink, placing them on the edge and deciding she would deal with them tomorrow. 

“You can leave them on the couch.” Herobrine mumbled, voice eerily steady for having just sobbed. “I can–”

“You’re not sleeping on the couch.” Alex turned from the sink and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“But—”

“No.” Alex shook her head and walked back to Herobrine offering him her hand. “Don’t piss me off. You’re sleeping in my bed tonight.”

Herobrine pursed his lips together but took her hand, and allowed her to help him up. He stumbled into her. “Fuck sorry.”

“You’re fine.” Alex led him away from the table, taking small steps to avoid him falling over. They made it to the doorway and she watched him take a deep breath as lightning lit up her small living room. He froze at the doorway again, gripping into her hand. Alex turned around, and gently pulled him forward. Herobrine followed. “It’s just a storm Hero. I promise it’s okay.” He closed his eyes, and gripped her hand tighter as she led him through the dark towards her bedroom. 

Alex left him leaning against the nightstand and she pulled the sheets back. Herobrine collapsed in bed, letting out a small sigh as his head relaxed into the pillow. He mumbled something out in Aetherian. “Just stay here alright, I’m going to grab more blankets.” Before she could turn to leave his hand shot out, grabbing her wrist.

“He’ll… wait…” Herobrine’s voice was strained again, eyes not quite focusing on her. Alex took his hand with both of hers and waited. “If he comes… you’ll be…” a single tear slid down his cheek. 

“It’s just me and you.” Alex wiggled her wrist out of his grip. “I’m just going to grab blankets, you try to sleep.”

Alex made sure to be quick, not wanting to leave Herobrine alone for longer than she needed to. He would be fine, but something about leaving him alone right now felt wrong. She grabbed her heavy blanket she kept on her couch and returned to her room. She dropped it at the foot of her bed, and turned towards Herobrine. He had curled himself into a ball with his face buried in her pillow. Herobrine would flinch each time the lightning would light up the room through the curtains. The storm was still raging above them and Alex hoped it would pass soon. Herobrine really needed to sleep. They both did. Alex dug through her chests, managing to find two other thinner blankets she used during the fall seasons. They would have to do for now. Everything else she had was still in storage up in her crawlspace. Alex made a mental note to take them down tomorrow. Not for Herobrine's unexpected visits obviously… but because maybe she would get cold at night as summer ended. Obviously.

As Alex moved around the room, making sure windows were shut, and all the blankets she had were accounted for, Herobrine had flopped onto his back. His eyes were open into small slits of white, watching her. Alex pulled the sheets and blanket up to his chin, brushing Herobrine's hair from his forehead. Her hand lingered for longer than it needed to. 

“||𝙹⚍  ᔑ∷ᒷ  ᓭ𝙹  ʖᒷᔑ⚍ℸ ̣ ╎⎓⚍ꖎ”   Herobrine breathed out a sigh, face softening as Alex played with his hair. Alex smiled, and realization filled Herobrine's eyes. He looked almost afraid.  “Wait—”

“I still don’t speak Aetherian.” Alex whispered out, laughing softly. Herobrine blinked and the shock drained from his face. Replaced with… disappointment? Alex patted his chest and moved to drape the other two blankets over the bed. Once that was done, she slipped beneath the covers. Alex yawned, exhaustion finally catching up with her. The warmth emitting from Herobrine only added to how comfortable her bed was. She sunk into the pillows, eyes closing. Dimly she remembered the bloodied clothes floating in her sink.

Aether above.

 … 

Alex shot up, startled by the sudden movement. Herobrine flinched closer to Alex, half yelling. She didn’t know how long it had been, but Herobrine had managed to inch so close to her that they were basically sharing a pillow. Thunder rumbled from far away and Herobrine whimpered. The rain had subsided since she was last awake, it had been reduced from a howling storm to a soft patter against her roof. Alex stared down at him. He was dead asleep. Heat blasted off of him in waves, but he was shaking as if he were freezing. Alex’s hand hovered over Herobrine, debating waking him up. Distantly she remembered Steve telling her about how bad Herobrine’s nightmares got. She really didn’t want to reach that point tonight, but she also wanted to go back to bed. The decision was made for her when she saw a tiny spark light between his fingers.

Alex shook his shoulder immediately. “Herobrine.” He mumbled something out, and flopped onto his stomach. “Herobrine, wake up.” 

His face scrunched up. He was half-yelling out in Aetherian. This was one of those moments Alex wished she spoke the language. Another spark. She leaned forward. Herobrine's hand twitched, as though he were trying to conjure fire from his palm. Alex’s hand hovered over his face, fingertips brushing against the soft skin of his cheek. Herobrine's eyes shot open, a scream already building in his throat. He shoved Alex away from him, screaming nonsense. His head swiveled around, body crawling towards the headboard until his back hit the wall, as though he was trying to get away from something. Herobrine’s chest rose and fell rapidly. The only sound in the room was his tortured breaths. Alex’s heart pounded in her chest, not quite sure what to do.

“Um. You were having a nightmare.” Alex’s voice startled them both. “Do you want to–”

“I was back there.” Herobrine glared at the window. 

Alex swallowed, trying to wake up faster. She hadn’t been expecting an actual response. “In the nether?”

“I died there.” Herobrine’s voice cracked. “And I-”

Alex inched closer, putting a reassuring hand on his knee. “Hey, hey, it was just a dream.”

Herobrine moved away from her touch frowning hard. “No, it wasn’t! I was there tonight. I died.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Alex watched him closely. He wasn’t as explosive as he had been earlier, he just looked tired. 

“He’d keep me dead.”

“Yeah, you keep saying that.” Alex rubbed at her eyes, sitting up fully so she was facing him. 

Silence enveloped them. Alex took a breath, and when she went to speak, Herobrine interrupted. “I was dreaming of the fight. With the horde. I was winning at first and then… I don’t know. In the dream, they just kept multiplying. Thousands and thousands of them. Shit.” He paused, and Alex reached out to grab his hand. “Can’t believe I fuckin’ lost to a wither.”

Alex blinked. “Cracking jokes? Glad to see the Herobrine I know and love is back.” He dropped his gaze and took his hand back at that. 

“Hah.” A shiver ran through him and he pulled the blanket up over his legs again. “One got a good swing in and I… died. That was real. When I respawned in my dream, I was back where Notch—“ he flinched at the name, “where he’d keep me.”

“Keep you?” Alex’s voice was small. She had asked, but she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer.

“Yeah. I’d rot, and right before I could respawn, he’d do something to keep me dead. I don’t know what he did.” Herobrine's voice wavered. “I can guess from the times they were too slow or waited on purpose. Sometimes I think…” 

“You don’t have to tell me.” Alex didn’t want the answer she decided. Images of Notch beheading the other, of tearing into him with reckless abandon filled her head and she felt a chill run up her spine. If this was immortality, Notch forbid it found her or Steve.

“No, I need to.” Herobrine's eyes bore into her. “I barge into your house, you have to… take care of me… I owe you an explanation.” 

Alex pursed her lips but said nothing. Herobrine didn’t owe her anything, but if he wanted to tell her, she wouldn’t stop him. Curiosity, and concern, were getting the best of her. 

“I know it was in the Aether. It was this bright room, I couldn’t see anything except for this bright fucking light.” Herobrine scoffed. “Floating around in a void for days on end didn’t help. Sometimes it was him, other times it was the other two, and after a while it was random Aetherian guards. Before you woke me up, it was Notch. Sometimes I’m…”

“Shit Hero.” Alex gulped.

“Sometimes I’m scared he cursed me.” Herobrine's voice broke, and Alex noticed his hands were shaking again. “That one day I won’t come back.”

“That’s why you were scared of not respawning tonight?” Alex took the silence as an answer. “That’s not true, you have to know that. I’ve seen you respawn before.”

“I know.”

“And I’m no expert, but I doubt he can do that.”

“You don’t know what he’s capable of.”

Silence fell. Deep, uncomfortable silence. The rain had all but stopped, leaving behind a howling wind. Alex coughed, wanting to change the subject. “So tonight, you respawned in the Nether? How’d you get out?”

Herobrine snapped back to her, eyes flickering towards her quickly. “I had to fight my way out. The second I respawned, they attacked me. When I got out of the Nether— uh tonight, not in—“

“Yeah, I got that.”

“I don’t remember it.”

Alex gaped. “What?”

“I mean I know it was storming, where I was at least, and I ran until I was out of the woods. I thought… I thought your house was Steve’s. To be honest.” Herobrine gripped into the sweater he was wearing. 

Ah. So that’s why he’s been so confused. “Well in any case, I’m glad you ended up here.”

Herobrine blinked. “Really?”

“Yes really.” Alex narrowed her eyes at him and he dropped his gaze. “No look at me when I say this Herobrine.” She grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her. His eyes widened. “You are important to me.”

Something flickered in Herobrine's eyes. 

“And if you tell anyone I will deny it.” Alex let go of Herobrine, sliding back under the covers. “But I’m glad you’re here and that I could help, or at least try to.”

“You helped.” Herobrine's voice was small.

“Good.” Alex patted the mattress. “Now lay back down, you're exhausted and need to rest. Tomorrow we can talk more if you want to, but right now you need sleep. And I’m about to pass out on you.”

Herobrine huffed out a laugh. “Okay.” He slid back down, staring up at the ceiling.

“Alex?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

Alex reached out and rested her hand on his arm, keeping it there. “Anytime. I meant it when I said you're important to me.” 

“You’re important to me too.” Herobrine whispered. Alex closed her eyes but didn’t fall asleep. She was waiting for Herobrine. A long time passed before Herobrine's breathing evened out, but when it did, Alex breathed a sigh of relief. She propped herself up on her elbow and peered down at the man beside her. His face was buried in the pillow, lips slightly parted, and for the first time all night, he looked peaceful. Alex pulled the blanket closer to him and brushed the longer pieces of hair from his face. His nose scrunched, and he mumbled something out as he flopped onto his back. Alex laughed softly.

“Night.” She whispered. 

…

Alex was awake before her eyes opened. Herobrine had managed to wrap both of his arms around her and was pressing his entire front to her back. Herobrine's warmth bled into her as she groggily rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Alex peeled her eyes open and hissed at the light coming in despite the shades. She really had to buy different ones.

“Herobrine.” Her voice was hoarse. No response. “Let me get up.” Nothing. If anything, he tightened his grasp around her. Herobrine mumbled something, lips twitching. Alex squirmed around in his arms, managing to sit up. She looked down at Herobrine. A stray beam of light, slipping through the curtains, illuminated a strip of his face. Longer strands of hair had fallen into his eyes. Alex brushed them away with her hand, letting the touch linger, scratching behind his ear. Where she knew he liked. His face softened as he let out a content sigh. His grip on her loosened. Alex felt a small smile play across her face watching Herobrine. He looked beautiful.

Okay.

Alex retracted her hand as though she had been burned. Cool. Beautiful had never been a word she’d described Herobrine with. Ever. Sure, he was attractive, but Alex wasn’t blind. Or stupid, come on. But beautiful… she risked another glance down and felt a rush starting from her stomach and blossoming in her chest. It felt like golden honey and fire. 

Oh.

Oh. Fuck.

Acid reflux from what she’d eaten the night before, surely. Herobrine yawned, showing off his sharp teeth and the fire burned back down from Alex’s chest to—

Notch damn it all. 

Enough, Alex had things to do. She peeled his fingers open, and slid out from his grasp. He made a noise of discomfort but shifted away from her, mumbling something that to Alex, sounded like her name, and dug himself back under the covers. Alex stumbled over to the chair in her room, and slipped on a sweater and a pair of socks. She hated being cold in the mornings. The thought froze her. What time was it? She peeked at the clock on her nightstand and her eyes widened at the time. It was past noon.

“Shit.” Alex cursed, dragging her hands over her face. Losing the entire morning would be a blow to her schedule she couldn’t even begin to fathom. The long list of chores, grocery, and the distant thought of lunch flashed through her mind's eye. Grumbling, Alex stumbled into the kitchen. She needed coffee. When she made it to the sink she was greeted with the bloody clothes she’d left soaking last night. And the two mugs. Alex stared at them. She blinked once, and turned away. Not her problem. Herobrine would deal with them when he woke up. 

There's dirty towels in the bathroom.

Alex took a deep breath. This was not her problem. At least not yet. She made coffee instead. The sun broke through her windows, lighting up her kitchen. Birds chirped outside, and it looked like today would be a day of sunshine and warmth. Coffee brewed on the stove. Alex watched the fire lick at the base of the Moka Pot. All Alex could think about was the look in Herobrine’s eyes last night. And what she knew now… a full-body shiver shot through her. It was one thing to banish him, but killing him over and over, forcing him to float in limbo for Notch knows how long, was another. Her thoughts slipped back to Herobrine this morning, smelling of her soap, in her bed, the sun illuminating his features. A stark difference from the crazed energy from last night.

A sharp knock at her door ripped her from her thoughts. Alex turned the fire down. “Coming!” She took out a mug from the cupboard and began pouring her coffee out. The knocking intensified. “I said I’m coming, calm down!” Alex slammed the mug down, unlocked the door, and swung it open, ready to slaughter whoever was banging on her door at this hour. “Steve?” 

“Hey Al!” Steve gave her a strange wave, leaning sideways as though trying to see inside. “Can I come in?” He looked like he’d been dragged through the Nether and back. His armor looked as though it had been thrown on at the last minute, his shoes were half untied, and if Alex had to guess, based on the dirt caked in his hair, he’d been roughing it out in the woods.

“Sure, what’s up?” Alex opened her door and stepped to the side.

“I haven’t seen Herobrine in weeks, and I was wondering if–” His gaze dropped to the floor, laser-focused on the bloody pair of shoes Herobrine had left the night before. “Where is he?”

Alex blinked, trying to catch up. “What?”

“Where’s Herobrine?” Steve dropped his satchel, stepping further into the house. 

Alex rubbed the crust from her eyes. “He’s sleeping.” But Steve didn’t appear to be listening. He rushed deeper into the house, heading to her room. Alex huffed, following him. “Steven I swear—“ she rounded the corner and found him kneeling at the edge of the bed, hand hovering over Herobrine's cheek.

“Notch, he's out like a light.” 

“He was pretty out of it last night.” Alex crossed her arms. “I was kind of wishing you’d turn up.” 

Steve stood up, worry clear on his face. “What happened?” He crossed the room quickly, looking her up and down. “You’re okay?”

Alex lifted a brow. “Yeah? Why.”

“He gets…” Steve looked back at Herobrine. “Intense sometimes.”

“I mean, there were moments. But I didn’t think he’d like, off me.” Alex laughed, but it quickly died down into a cough as she registered that Steve wasn’t joking. “You’re acting like he’s tried killing you before.”

Steve stayed silent.

“Steven.” Alex felt like she couldn’t breathe. “You’re joking. What happened?”

“Long story.” Steve wouldn’t look at her. “What uh…” he coughed, “what happened last night?”

“Long story.” Alex crossed her arms. Steve narrowed his eyes. Alex smirked. “Kidding. The short answer is he respawned in the Nether and ended up here, scared out of his mind. And I’m talking like, terrified.” Herobrine groaned, mumbling something out. 

Steve looked down at Herobrine as the other shifted under the blankets. “Let’s step out, yeah? I think we need to catch up.”

“Ha, you think?” Alex led Steve back to her kitchen, where Herobrine's clothes from the night before were still soaking. Alex grabbed her mug of coffee and gestured to Steve, silently asking if he wanted some, to which he shook his head, no. They both sat at the table in silence for a while. Alex taking steady sips of her coffee, Steve looking guilty. 

“What happened, Alex?” Steve fidgeted with his hands. 

“Well, I woke up and he was in my kitchen, torn up and infected with Wither, but — calm down,” she added quickly as she saw Steve’s face change from worry to anger, mouth opening to interject, “he was okay, just confused. I gave him milk, threw him in the shower, tried talking it out with some tea, but we ended up just calling it quits. He had a nightmare, but he was okay. I'm just glad he showed up here instead of getting lost out there.”

Steve groaned. “He went hunting.” Steve didn’t phrase it as a question, but Alex nodded.

“I also promised him I wouldn’t tell you, so you didn’t hear that from me.”

“Noted.” Steve’s tone was tense. “I probably would have guessed it anyway. I mean, he was gone for weeks after a fight and—“

“A fight?” Alex raised a brow. “He didn’t mention that.”

Steve scoffed, crossing his arms. “Course not. It was about his hunting problem. Among other things, but whatever.” 

Alex pursed her lips. “Sometimes you push too hard.”

“I do not.”

“Mmm yeah you do.”

“Okay, so sometimes I maybe pry into places I shouldn’t. Shoot me with a crossbow, Alex, I live with the guy. It’s every single day. Every day I’m dealing with him crashing out over something, and every other week, he comes back bloodied and on the brink of death. I need to know things so that I know what triggers all this. So I can avoid it: so yeah I push, I pry, and honestly, if you had to deal with it every day, you would too.” Steve took a breath, looking back at the doorway and lowering his voice. “And there's nothing he can do about it, I know that. But…”

“I know, it’s a lot. That’s why I wanted you last night. You always seem to know what to do.”

Silence fell on the pair.

Alex took a breath. “I have a question actually.” Steve looked up from his hands. “He mentioned something last night. But I need you to swear on Notch, on your life, on everything, that you will not, under any circumstance, repeat what I’m about to tell you.” Alex glared at Steve, hard. This was something she was almost certain Steve knew about, but if he didn’t, he had to be sworn to secrecy. This felt too important to keep hidden. He keeps me dead.

“Just tell me.”

“Swear it, Steven.”

“I swear it.”

“Herobrine said he respawned in there.” Alex glanced at the doorway.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Okay… so he lost to withers. Must have hurt his ego.”

Alex laughed. “Hah only a little. But it’s not that. He respawned, and he was terrified of dying, asking me constantly if he’d die, and he told me…” Alex took a breath. “That Notch would keep him dead.”

Steve didn’t flinch. “So he told you about it?”

Alex felt a weight lift from her chest. “Thank Notch, you already knew.”

“I know a lot. Again, I live with the guy.” Steve leaned in his chair, trying to peek past the wall of the kitchen. Alex turned and could see from her seat that nobody was in the next room over.

“He’s not there.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He told me a little about where he’d respawn, said something about a room and the void. Dude, he thought Notch had cursed him.”

Steve blinked. “How out of it was he? He told you all of this?”

“Yeah. He had a nightmare and said he owed me an explanation. I just… wish I knew how to help. I’m out of my depth Steve. We both are.” Alex shrugged.

“Tell me about it.” Steve rubbed his hands down his face. “Did he mention how long he’d been gone for?”

“Nope.” Alex drummed her fingers on the table. “I’d guess a little over a week given he disappeared on you.”

“Yeah.” Steve bit his lip. “I meant if you knew how long he’d been in the Nether for.”

“I asked, but he freaked, and never told me.”

“Mm.” Steve yawned. Alex narrowed her eyes and now that she was really looking at him…

“Dude, have you been sleeping? Like at all?”

Steve’s attention snapped to her. “Yes I have.”

“Uh huh.” Alex gestured towards him. “So you just always look like shit?”

“Fuck off.”

Alex crossed her arms. “I’m guessing you’re staying until he wakes up?”

Steve looked at his hands. “Yeah. I have… an overdue apology to give him.” 

“Then I’d suggest you take off your armor, shower, get into something comfier, and maybe… take a nap. There’s a lot of your clothes in my drawers, and the bed and couch are both up for grabs.”

Steve grimaced. “I’m not some kid anymore, Alex. I don’t need naps.”

“I know. But it can’t hurt.” Alex stood up and walked to Steve. “Cmon get up.” She shoved his shoulder playfully. “Get up, I'm serious. I have a few chores to do that would be much easier if you were both passed out. And you stink, I can smell you from here.”

Steve picked at his nails, and Alex could see the cogs turning in his brain. Finally, he huffed. “Okay, fine,” he said, “but wake me the second Herobrine wakes up.”

Alex nudged him towards the living room. “Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, sleeping beauty.“

The day passed slowly and lazily. A cool breeze crept in through the windows as the sun made its way across the clear sky. Alex scrubbed Herobrine's clothes in the sink, as Steve showered. After a full hour of curses and hoping, she was forced to discard them. The blood had burned into the fabric, and whatever Nether grime had rubbed off on him had refused to wash away. Steve had stumbled back in, hours later, for a late lunch, wearing mismatched socks, a shirt that was too big for him, and a pair of sweatpants that Alex couldn’t linger too much on. He insisted he cook, and as Steve reheated whatever leftovers were in the fridge, Alex crashed on the couch. Herobrine stayed under the pile of blankets. She woke to Steve gently shaking her shoulder, whispering that lunch was on the table and he’d take care of the towels in the bathroom after. Aether help her, she loved this man so much.

Lunch was quiet. The two talked about how bad the storm had been last night, how the forest path connecting their houses looked like shit, and joked about using creepers to clear it. The conversation was light, neither wanting to reopen the can of worms that was Herobrine. Alex was starting to realize he was a canyon full of worms. Alex did the dishes as Steve collected the bath towels and took them outside to try to scrub them clean.

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. Alex managed to get dressed, brush her teeth, and head outside to tend to her farm animals and yard. Steve hung the towels out to dry and headed back inside to nap, or so he said. Alex could bet all the money in the Overworld that Steve would be dozing off in the chair beside her bed, watching over Herobrine. Alex hacked at the weeds growing in her yard, trying to keep her mind from dwelling on last night. But it was sweltering hot outside, and to keep from fixating on her burning forearms or the sweat dripping down her back, her mind wandered.

Alex often forgot that there was nothing she could do for Herobrine except offer him a place to crash. She couldn’t undo centuries worth of trauma. She couldn’t bring Notch and Herobrine to an understanding, and she couldn’t—no matter how peaceful he looked in his sleep—ignore what he did to get himself banished. Herobrine wasn’t like her and Steve. What she had done for Herobrine last night was the continuation of a cycle of taking care of Steve, and Steve taking care of her, following a pattern they’d established since they were kids. At some point, Herobrine seemed to have wormed himself into the circle. Alex tore out another weed, throwing it off to the side. Herobrine had been a violent monster with murderous tendencies. Whatever she saw last night, and this morning, was a small blip.

Herobrine was someone who had kindness in him. Alex saw it every day. She saw it in the way he washed dishes if she cooked, how he nodded his head in thanks, and sat silently by her side if she was upset. Alex saw it in the way he looked at Steve. She hacked at the ground harder than she needed to. Anger flooded her system, alongside something sharper, harder. Something she couldn’t think about. Jealousy. Herobrine was kind; he could be gentle. Herobrine is in a constant battle with a monster. And time and again, the monster surfaces victorious, kicking and biting. 

Herobrine was dangerous. He was not human.

The longer Alex dwelled on that truth, the less she believed it. She couldn’t stop thinking about his quivering lip. The fear in his eyes. How small he looked in the bathroom. Alex’s internal image of Herobrine was shifting away from a demonic, murderous, animal to a scared man. 

Outside, the chores went by quickly. The animals were taken care of, the weeds were kind of ripped out, and the sun had started its slow descent past the mountains that divided Alex’s cherished plains from the sea. Alex took off her sun hat, wiping at the sweat dripping from her brow, and let her hoe fall in the dirt. The door creaked open from behind her.

“Good morning, Mr. I-don’t-need-naps. Hey, thanks for washing the towels that really-” Alex turned around and instead of Steve, saw Herobrine staring blankly at her. “Helped...”

Alex stared at Herobrine and gave him a lame wave. “Hey.” 

Herobrine narrowed his eyes, confused. “I just got up. I didn’t do the towels.”

“No, I thought you were Steve.” Alex stared at him, trying to gauge if she could ask about last night or not.

“He’s on your couch.” He was still wearing the outfit from last night, but had slipped into his bloodied shoes.

“Are you going somewhere?” Alex pointed at his feet. Herobrine looked down and crossed his arms. “Steve and I were thinking of heading into town and bringing something back for dinner if you want to—”

“I'm not hungry.” Herobrine stared off into the horizon, squinting at the light. 

“Okay.” Alex took a breath. She decided to take a risk. “At this point, you might as well stay the night.” 

“Why would I do that?” Herobrine glared at her. “I don’t need to eat or sleep. Only you mortals need that.”

Alex took a breath. There he was. The Herobrine she knew and loved. “I don’t care what you do or where you go. Just know the offer stands.” 

Herobrine didn’t move to leave, and neither did Alex. Both stood with arms crossed, staring at the other. Wind whistled between the trees, rustling the branches. A mourning dove sang its lonely song from somewhere in the treeline. Herobrine shifted his weight from one leg to the other, and a flash of discomfort played across his face.

“I wanted to ask where my clothes went.” Herobrine wouldn’t look at her. 

A pang of guilt shot through Alex. She softened her stance, relaxing her muscles and letting her arms drop. “I’m sorry, I had to throw them away. There was too much blood on them. And a weird nether dust or something. I can buy you more when—”

“I can buy my own clothes.” Herobrine mumbled, kicking a stray pebble off the stairs and into the dirt.

“Drop the attitude.” Alex huffed, walking back towards the stairs. “I have to head back in.” She pointed at the door he was blocking. Herobrine didn’t make an effort to move. “Dude, move.” Alex reached behind him, trying to open the door and maybe even push him so hard he’d fly off into the distance. She preferred him when he was sleeping.

Herobrine grabbed her wrist. “Wait. I wanted to… uh,” Alex stayed silent. Herobrine let go. Her skin burned from where he grabbed it. “I don’t remember a lot from last night. But I appreciate what you… um I don’t know, I wanted to… uh…” he gestured lamely around, absolutely refusing to look Alex in the eye.

Alex patted his shoulder. “Don’t hurt yourself.” She opened the door and stepped inside. Herobrine didn’t move. He looked out at the horizon, playing with one of the hoodie strings. 

“Come inside.” Alex held the door open. Herobrine's eye twitched. 

He looked behind him at the horizon. “Get in here.” Alex laughed a little. Herobrine looked down, and when he looked back up, he teleported into her kitchen, stumbling a little as his feet hit tile. This guy.

Herobrine stood in the middle of the kitchen, staring at the chair he had slumped in last night. Alex didn’t say anything, just closed her door and left her sun hat on the table. “Steve came by this morning looking for you.” She turned towards Herobrine.

Herobrine scratched the table's surface with his fingernail. “Hm.”

“He wanted me to wake you when you were up. He was really worried about you. Said you’d taken off a week ago.” Alex was prying. She knew this. 

“I don’t care. Why are you telling me this?” Herobrine didn’t look at her, but from his tone and the way he glared at the table, she could tell this was off-limits.

“Because I’m going to go tell him you’re awake. And chill out on my table. If you scratch it, you’re buying me a new one.” Alex said. Herobrine grumbled, but he moved away from the table, sparing a quick glance to see the damage.

Herobrine scowled at the window. “I’m not staying the night.”

“Fine by me.” Alex rolled her eyes. He was impossible. Alex took her boots off, hopping slightly to tug them off. She flung them by the door. “Leave your shoes by the door. They’re filthy.” Alex walked through the door and into her living room.

Steve was shirtless, in nothing but boxers, splayed out on her couch. One arm was folded across his stomach, rising and falling as he breathed. The other was thrown over his face, covering his eyes from the sun. The redstone-powered fan she had bought last summer had been turned on. She rolled her eyes. It could be below freezing, and Steve would be complaining that it was too hot. Alex nudged his shoulder lightly.

Steve jolted awake immediately, arms flailing. “‘M up, I’m up. What happened?” 

“You told me to wake you when Herobine was up.”

Steve blinked at her, processing the words in his head. Alex could see the sleep still gleaming in his eyes. “Oh, yeah. Shit, is he okay?” Steve pushed himself off the couch, stretching and yawning hard. Alex hadn’t seen him in so long. Something dangerous sparked in her chest. She looked away.

“Can you put clothes on? This isn’t a brothel.” Alex playfully threw pants and a shirt at his head.

Steve pulled them down off his face, smirking. “Yeah, yeah.” Steve slipped into the sweatpants. He coughed, killing the silence growing between them. “Are we still heading into town?” 

Alex turned back around, eyes betraying her by flicking from his face to his body. “Yeah. I’ll wait for you outside. If he’s still here, he’s in the kitchen.”

Steve slid into the shirt, taking a slow breath. “Right. Give me like ten minutes. I’ll be right outside." He was speaking to her, but he was looking behind her at the doorway. Alex swallowed. Something was brewing inside of her, deep in her gut. She walked to the door, as Steve walked towards the kitchen. Alex opened the door and stepped out but lingered just long enough to catch the beginning of their conversation.

Steve’s voice was calm and low. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Herobrine’s voice cracked, and she could hear their footsteps as they ran across the room towards each other. Alex closed the door behind her, and was greeted by the moon, large and beautiful, rising above the horizon. 

Alex took a couple steps forward, and let herself slump down on her porch stairs. A light breeze was blowing in from the land. It was warm and kissed her in the way she always wished someone would. Sure it had happened before. Flashes of violet eyes, of movement, warmth and nails grazing skin filled her mind's eye. It didn't mean anything. It hadn’t meant what Alex wanted it to. Her mind wandered as she watched the moon glow with the dying light of the sun. Long shadows splayed across the ground and distantly she wondered what Steve and Herobrine were talking about. 

Time passed slowly. It felt like hours of staring at the darkening sky, before the door opened slowly, and Steve sat down heavily beside her. Alex leaned her head on his shoulder, and he leaned his head on hers. Steve’s warmth bled into her as they sat there, breathing together in silence. Steve took a long breath and let it out slowly.

“He left.”

Alex pursed her lips together and leaned away from Steve. “How was he?”

Steve shook his head. “I don’t even know. Angry I think.”

“It’s going to be a cold night too.” Alex shivered. If she was cold, she could only imagine what Herobrine was feeling.

“He’s either going back to the nether or a random lava pool.” Steve stood abruptly. “Okay, the longer I sit the more I’m going to want to go after him.”

“Why don’t you?” Alex asked. Steve turned towards her and made a face. He offered her a hand and pulled her up.

“What were you thinking for dinner?” He was deflecting. Alex knew this, and she let him. 

“Not sure. They opened a new place down by the blacksmith. I was kind of wanting to try it.”

Steve smiled. “Sounds good. I’m game for anything, you know that.” He nudged her as they started walking towards the village. They talked about anything that crossed their minds. Alex would never admit this, but she had missed this. She had missed Steve so much, and just having him around made the world less miserable. Steve allowed her to relax for the first time all week and she relished not having to flinch at every noise, look twice at every weird shadow, or carry a sword everywhere she went. She had Steve right now. As he talked about the mines and the weird bullshit going on between two of his co-workers, Alex’s mind wandered to Herobrine. She found herself hoping every movement in the woods was him, and that at any moment he’d show up. She hated thinking of him out there by himself, especially after last night.

They reached the village gates faster than she thought, and as she handed the guard her identification, she spared one last glance behind her at the darkening forest. 

Hope you’re okay out there.