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There’s a jostle to his body, a roar of voices in his head that all say the same thing. “Alhaitham, you need to wake up”. Some of them sound familiar to him. Like an uncanniness that he can’t exactly place. A familiar warmth of a memory that seems so distant and far away he can’t exactly place.
His body shakes again and this time there are fewer voices to cut through the noise but the few there say the same thing. Wake up Alhaitham. But like a child he stubbornly keeps his eyes shut—-and somewhere, something or someone decides that if Alhaitham wanted to be a child then so be it.
“Wake up Alhaitham, dear. You can’t sleep under the sun all day like a lazy cat.” The voice cuts through his unconsciousness like a knife and Alhaitham is sitting up. A pout on his round cheeks as he pushes a large book off his tiny chest. Big round, curious (and tired still) eyes watch as his grandmother dotes around their living room. Books stacked high around him—
The young child didn’t exactly remember when he fell asleep reading.
“I wasn’t planning to—“ he complains, a feeling in the back of his mind that something is wrong. That something is off and he shouldn’t be here, but it’s pushed back as he hears his grandmother’s laugh. Saw her joyful eyes glance at him before she reached down to tug at his cheek and pulled lovingly at the baby fat that clung to his face still. There’s a happiness that fills up Alhaitham’s chest then one that is almost sorrowful as he stares up at his grandmother.
“For once I will not have you read all day—go outside. Socializing is just as important as reading and your friend is here.” She moves away and the young scholar could only stop and stare at her with wide eyes. Feet rooted to the ground in fear of leaving. This couldn’t be his grandmother—not the one he knew, there wouldn’t be a reason for her to tell him to go out and—
She catches him then with his mouth open and face in astonishment. Her face crinkles up into a smile that he knew all too well and her voice breaks into a laugh that echoes off the pots and pans in the kitchen as she ducked back around the corner. The mischievousness in her voice failed to be masked. “It’s such a nice day Alhaitham—just go outside for a few hours and then I won’t ask you to do it again.”
Begrudgingly he gives in, not knowing who this friend is.
The young scholar feels weird as he moves, feet too small for shoes too big, his height and gaze falling at a level he didn’t seem used to, and the odd sensation that his movements were fast but slow. Everything seemed off. His whole world was a slightly crooked picture but he couldn’t place if he needed to tilt the frame just a little bit to the left or a little bit to the right.
He stares at the door thinking it over but ultimately deciding that it was simply because he just got up and his grandmother’s house, while his house too, was still a place he intruded upon in some way. He was a child in a grown-up scholar’s house—and maybe children just felt out of place all the time till they were older anyways.
So he shrugged, his hand gripping the handle of the door as he heard a rampant knock and a muffled voice yell his name behind thick wood. With a hard pull, Alhaitham yanked the door open and a boy his height stood in front of him, a worried expression turning into a wry grin.
It takes a moment for Alhaitham to speak as he takes in the sight of the boy in front of him. Wild, long blond hair framed his face while henna-berry red eyes stared back at Alhaitham. A bandage was across his nose, and a smear of… dirt or grease was across his cheek. In all honesty, he looked like he was playing the role of a mad inventor.
“Who are—“ Alhaitham began, hand falling away from the handle as he stared back.
The blond’s hand shot out and went to grab his arm, panic in his tone. “‘Haitham, ‘Haitham you need to come with me!” Or maybe it was excitement. Panicked excitement? Alhaitham couldn’t place it fully. But what he did know was that he didn’t know this boy nor did he want to follow him. Without thinking he tugged his arm back, holding it close against his chest as lips drew into a fine line.
The blond could only scowl at him. “What’s gotten into you ‘Haitham? ‘S me, Kaveh… your best friend? What did you do, take a nap and forget me?”
There’s hurt in his voice and there’s conflict in Alhaitham’s chest. Somewhere in his mind, he knows Kaveh better than anyone around and for some reason, his heart is beating fast and feeling like it was full of butterflies.
But another part of him told him he didn’t know this person. The two sides of him came to a mental war over who was right as he could only stare forward.
“I…don’t…” he starts, beginning to wonder if he should listen to the side of himself that says to run.
Kaveh’s reaction is a mess in front of him, hurt and betrayed— and then something else. Alhaitham couldn’t place it, but it wasn’t a look that children had. It was more like whatever mask this boy in front of him was wearing had started to fall off.
Something was wrong, something was wrong he should turn around to the kitchen and hide behind his grandmother. She could deal with it she could—
“Alhaitham, dear…” The noises in the kitchen stop as the young scholar suck in a breath. Twisting his head to the side to see his grandmother poking her head around the corner. But the eyes staring back at him weren't his grandmother’s and while there was *warmth* in those green flower irises (wait—her eyes weren’t green before), there wasn’t the warmth that he knew. That he thought he knew.
“You need to wake up, Alhaitham.” The voice wasn’t his grandmother’s either. Young and old at the same time—-it was all like a trick that was coming undone. Quickly, he shut his eyes and turned to face forward. He’d rather deal with an unknown person than a false image of someone he loves. ( Loved?)
“Haitham…” At the call of his name again he opened his eyes only to be met with rubies stained with tears and why. Why did this hurt the most? Why did this feel like his heart was breaking in two? Was this heartbreak? He was only a kid how could he experience—
“‘Haitham… I need you to wake. up.” With those last two words, the boy (teenager, man?) raised his hands and pushed him back, sending him tumbling toward the floor. Feet skittering in a frantic attempt to catch himself before he cracked his head on the ground. But instead, the ground itself cracked and split, shattering like a mirror around him and opening up to an inky black void.
His eyes opened wide as Alhaitham reached up, his fingers stretching out as an inky darkness seemed to encroach around him as if asking for a lifeline. A yell of “Kaveh—“ leaving him.
But all he saw were tears falling on that boy’s cheeks as the darkness swallowed him up.
—————— ☙ ——————
“H…”
“Hai…..”
“Haitham…”
“ Haitham!”
He jolts suddenly in his chair as he sits up straight. Eyes forward but not focusing on anything at all before a hand goes to rub at them. It was strange to fall asleep in class, that wasn’t something he’d do—
“Tevyat to Alhaitham.” A hand shoots out and snapped in front of him as the voice calling for him seemed to almost *tease* him. The action and voice alone overwhelmed Alhaitham’s senses which caused the young scholar to scowl and snap his head to glare at the offender.
A lopsided green hat sat on top of blond hair. A wide shit-eating grin spread across the mouth of the young man next to him. He rested his head on his open palm, and the bright red eyes staring back at him seemed to be admiring how Alhaitham looked.
The look screamed smug, like a cat that caught a canary.
“Oh, did I wake up genius too soon from his slumber?” The man laughs, knocking his shoulder gently and Alhaitham can only grumble under his breath and roll his eyes.
“I just found the use of my time better used by napping than staying awake for that last lecture, Kaveh. There was nothing of value presented in that one, especially considering some of the things he stated were outdated nor would he accept questions.” Alhaitham’s tone was that of someone stating clear facts. Blunt, and almost annoyed that Kaveh was even bothering him with such a thing in the first place. ( Like he wanted to continue to sleep– why did he want to continue to sleep? Even if he found the class dull he never slept during them… was he getting sick?)
Thoughts start turning in his head as his gaze drifts, trying to focus on anything but Kaveh sitting next to him but his eyes could never fully adjust to the rest of his classmates. Their faces seemed to cloud over and fade the second he thought he could focus on them or even worse as he’d catch their glances and then just as quickly they’d look in another direction. Facing away from him so he couldn’t place them with a name. Did he even know any of these people? Why did it only seem like Kaveh sitting next to him was real and everyone else was just a mannequin ? Faceless with no real information with any value. Even the professor standing up front by the podium for the class was someone Alhaitham couldn’t place in his memory at all.
It was off . ( Again– wait why again?)
It was then that he tried to really look at his surroundings. A fairly large lecture hall that he was sure he had never been in before but was like a stretched-out version of a much smaller lecture hall he had been in before. There were fifteen rows of long desks compared to the 5 rows of long desks, the windows on the left wall stretched higher to a much taller vaulted ceiling, and the pictures on the right walls between much taller bookcases that were never there to begin with were… shifting. Never did they move or change when he stared directly at them but when he looked away and looked back something was different that he couldn’t place. His usual eidetic memory suddenly failed him.
“Earth to Haitham–you’re spacing again, is it really that boring today?”
Lips draw into a fine line before he shakes his head and looks back towards his senior. “Does it seem off to you in here today? Like things aren’t right? I don’t know anyone here besides you, Kaveh. And when did the Akademiya decide to build such a grand lecture hall? I thought they prided themselves on close-knit classes so professors had time for all the students. This all seems….extraordinarily excessive and unneeded .” He shrugs, expression and tone falling flat. “No wonder I fell asleep, there's no way to learn in this setting.”
Kaveh’s expression fell, his body visibly going rigid as if he was caught and then immediately trying to play it all off. Like he was lying. “Wha—what do you mean by that? There’s nothing wrong with the classroom, ‘Haitham.” Words came out in a flustered rush as he suddenly sat forward. All too interested now in a lecture that didn’t exist (at least to Alhaitham it didn’t) before he extravagantly waved his hand to turn teal-colored eyes in another direction. “Be… BESIDES I think you should focus on this next one. The next lecture is about to start and it’s the Lesser Lord.”
“Lesser who?” The name rings a bell but doesn’t in Alhaitham’s head and he knows the confusion is visible on his face as Kaveh rolls his eyes and nudges him again on the shoulder.
“Lesser Lord Kusanali! The dendro archon? Did you hit your head or—“ Kaveh starts to lean closer, hand reaching up at an angle as if he was about to run a hand through Alhaitham’s hair and the silver-haired young scholar could only lean closer to him like it was natural. Eyes starting to close, head tilting just a bit—
But the hand never came.
Instead, he hears Kaveh clear his throat, his voice oddly serious for once. “Alhaitham, pay attention. Nahida’s about to start.”
“ What–?” His eyes snapped open and teal could only stare at the small child who swung happily in a translucent swing. Her tiny hands gripped bright, solid vines as her feet kicked forward and back to propel her lazy motion. Her smile was soft, her *flowered* Iris’ stared directly at him and only him, and for some reason, it felt so familiar to the young scholar. As if he should know her but something was wrong—
Wasn’t it an older man supposed to have this talk?
Wasn’t the archon still locked away at the tallest point of the Akademiya? Why was she staring at him? Why was Kaveh so quiet all of the sudden and why were the students that supposedly filled this class suddenly in their seats facing forward without a sound uttered when only moments before they were talking and carrying on like nothing?
“ Hehe… interesting. You know. I always thought this space would be more like a library labyrinth and it would have been harder to find you.” She swung her feet back once more before using the forward momentum to propel herself off her perch and land perfectly on one of those long desks. The students sitting there didn’t even bother flinching or saying a word.
Her green eyes stared at them and then at Kaveh who Alhaitham dared to glance towards only to see his lips drawn into a line—his expression hard to make out but before he could reach out the young child proposed Alhaitham a question.
"Have you caught on yet, what’s happening around you?”
She’s back in her swing when Alhaitham snaps his attention back to her. She’s closer now, somehow moving several rows closer till she was one table in front of him. None of the classmates turned to face her and instead kept facing forward. Having her this close Alhaitham could see she was wise beyond her apparent years and also how curious she still looked even when that curiosity was only directed at him. “I thought you were supposed to be teaching “
There’s a silence that falls between the three of them or maybe it was just from Alhaitham. Instead, the silence that was between Nahida and Kaveh was somber. The young archon sitting in the swing like it was playtime was smiling, but it didn’t reach her eyes nor did it hold any malice. “You’re right, this is your place so I should continue playing along. Hmmm… but anything you bring up here to learn you simply brush off cause you don’t find it interesting.”
One of her hands goes to her chin as she scrunches her eyebrows together. The swing never stops the slow movement from front to back.
Alhaitham shrugs, arms folding across his chest. “How can I find something interesting when I already know all about it?”
And like a lightbulb going off her face brightens in a eureka moment. Chin raised in triumph like she found the answer to her problem. “We’ll discuss—”
“Haitham…” The name cuts through whatever Nahida was going to say, throwing her off as she stops instantly and Alhaitham’s gaze is consumed by his fellow classmate. He notes how the other’s fists are grasping his robes like a lifeline: balled up so tight his knuckles were turning white. Tears filled the corners of his eyes as if whatever he wanted to say was bubbling up inside of him more and more but the next three words uttered were barely above a whisper. “Haitham… wake up.”
“Kaveh, I am awake, I'm sitting—“ he starts to reach over to see if he’s alright but the blond shakes his head and knocks his hand away.
“Haitham— listen to me. Please Wake. Up.”
“Kaveh don’t, he could—“
But whatever Nahida was going to say fell on deaf ears as Alhaitham’s robes were suddenly seized and the scene is a repeat of a memory that shouldn’t be there.
A young Kaveh is outside a door, his grandmother—no Nahida— in the kitchen, and then there were hands pushing him back into an inky abyss.
The scene repeats but instead of a young child pushing him into the darkness or the younger scholar who sat next to him in class, it’s an older Kaveh. His hair was pinned back by red barrettes, a red cloak against his back as he wore a loose-fitting white shirt, and his eyes still filled with tears.
Alhaitham’s heart clenched and though he tried to fight against the blond, in the end, he was pushed backward. The area around him broke apart into broken shards like before as he struggled to grab onto anything that would keep him there, to figure out why images were blurring and shifting like nothing was real and it was all just a weird hallucination. But his hand just missed Kaveh’s and whatever he managed to latch onto fell apart like sand as the inky, pitch-black darkness swallowed him up once again.
“Wake, up Alhaitham.”
—————— ☙ ——————
The first thing Alhaitham hears is the sweet songs of birds outside, the second thing he hears is the rustling of sheets next to him, and the third thing he hears before he begrudgingly opens his eyes is the soft whisper of his name uttered from his lover’s lips.
“Alhaitham, wake up. Or did you really want to sleep in so badly?”
The scribe muses it over in his sleep-addled mind: he could sleep in and relish in those few extra minutes he had left or open his eyes and at least lay in bed like a lazy cat next to Kaveh. Enjoying the moment as it simply was.
“Haitham…” This time the whisper was accompanied by a slowly moving hand that went up the bare skin of the scribe’s side like the other was trying to memorize this moment. It was entirely too sweet–and was the deciding factor in getting Alhaitham to wake up fully.
Slowly teal eyes blinked open only to be met with ruby-red irises that seemed to focus on him and him alone. Realizing the scribe was finally awake the other scoots closer, twisting their legs together and moving that hand up to card through messy silver locks of hair while his cheek was smushed against the pillow and a sleepy smile was plastered across his face. Sunlight skittered across their blankets and up towards the back of Kaveh’s hair, the morning sun giving the architect an otherworldly glow that had Alhaitham staring with wide eyes.
Kaveh was ethereal–and for split second he wondered what Kaveh even saw in him but the thought was pushed away as soft lips press a kiss to his lips to help wake him up even further. “ Good morning…. surprised to see you’re still in bed.”
The scribe rolls his eyes, “Someone has to make sure you stay in bed for a decent amount of time…or maybe your reckless sleeping habits are unfortunately rubbing off on me.”
Kaveh bursts out into a laugh, leaning his forehead now against Alhaitham’s and wrapping his arms around his waist. Comfortable, cozy, sweet– and yet Alhaitham can tell just from the look in Kaveh’s eyes that he was only faking this.
Just like all the Kavehs he has met before.
Without thinking it over Alhaitham gives into impulse and states, “This is fake isn’t it.”
All that comfortable coziness seems to be sucked out of the room just as fast as Kaveh’s breath hitched and the smile turned into something twisted and marred with sadness. There was nothing said for a solid few seconds before Kaveh could only slowly nod his head, like simply uttering the words would break apart this happy illusion gifted to them.
All Alhaitham wanted was that smile back on Kaveh’s face, he wanted that sun framing the golden hair of the man laying in front of him to make him look aethereal, he wanted lazy mornings, happy laughter, he wanted—
Tears started to form at the corners of Kaveh’s eyes and Alhaitham move to cup his lover’s face and wipe away the ones that fell. Pulling him into a kiss that muted the quiet sobs that wanted to leave Kaveh’s lips. Even if this Kaveh wasn’t real he seemed to be conveying what the real Kaveh was feeling and knowing that he was a mess—all he wanted was to make him stop crying.
He pulls away to catch his breath, trying to make sure that this time Kaveh couldn’t push him away into the void that seemed to swallow him up and try to erase his sense of reality. If Kaveh and even Nahida were telling him to wake up each time then that’s what he had to do right? Wake up and the tears would stop falling and the darkness would stop consuming him? “You want me to wake up, don’t you?”
“Alhaitham…. If you don’t wake up this time…” Kaveh’s lower lip trembles and it doesn’t take a genius to understand the emotions that were raging around in the man’s chest. “Nahida won’t be able to send me further so please… please….”
Fingers card slowly through silver strands, their noses bumping into one another as lips get close enough to kiss but fail to meet. “Wake up.”
—————— ☙ ——————
The first thing that happens is that Alhaitham bolts straight up, hands gripping the white and green sheets of the bimarstan. The second thing that happens is that there’s a sudden and insurmountable amount of pain that shoots up his torso and has him falling backward back into pillows as he clenched his eyes shut and tried to will away whatever pain was coursing through his veins. The third thing that happened was that he called out for Kaveh, hand reaching up and out blindly in an attempt to find him. Assuming that the man who was so bold to enter his mind while he was in a coma was nearby, a fact that was only confirmed true when a hand slipped into his and held onto him tight and a wail of “ Alhaitham!” reaches his ears.
There was no way he was still sleeping, the amount of pain he was feeling was on a level that he knew the subconscious could never replicate nor would it ever dare to. Why would it? When the scenes he had were dreams and not nightmares—even if Kaveh and the Lesser Lord’s interference had his subconscious panicking and pulling him deeper into happier memories.
One of his eyes slowly slid open and the tear-stained cheeks of the architect were the first thing he saw, then he saw relief and happiness on the other man’s face. The smile there reached his eyes and made the scribe reflect that same smile at him, both eyes now open as he carefully and slowly pulled Kaveh down and into a brief kiss.
He didn’t care if there were others around him as he heard Nahida giggling in the corner and an embarrassed groan slip from Tighnari. All that mattered was that he was awake and he could utter two simple words to Kaveh as he pulled away.
“Good Morning.”