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As I'll Ever Be

Summary:

This is his life now, he has a son. With the help of his family, Buck has to figure out what to do next.

or

Bucks son, the one he had no idea existed, is dropped off a the fire station. Buck has to figure out how to juggle his career, his own mental health, a blossoming relationship and now an autistic 3 year old. Buck finally finds out just how much his friend care about him as they help him through this next stage in his life.
[Please read this series in order, it will make more sense :) ]

Notes:

A very short update. More will be coming as soon as I find time to write :)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The group let Oliver sleep for about an hour after he had crawled into Bucks lap and snuggled in. They figured he probably needed the rest after the stressful and probably overwhelming morning he had had. The young boy looked calm and comfortable, nestled in his fathers’ arms as if it was the most natural things he had ever done, body and limbs limp from relaxation as he let out an almost silent snore with each breath.

The hour of silence also provided them with the opportunity to discuss a plan of sorts. Or at least enough of a plan to stop Buck from spiralling into a complete panic attack every time his brain caught up and remembered that he now had an entire human being that he was solely responsible for and in charge of.

Athena had gotten in touch with a friend of her who works in the department of children’s services and asked her to make the trip to the firehouse, hopefully she knew how to handle all the legal issues around custody and guardianship. She was expected sometime in the next 20 minutes, and in the meantime, Buck just let himself listen to his family completely change their lives around to suit his need, feeling the guilt bare down on him as each minute passed.

An argumentative voice range through the otherwise quiet room, bringing Bucks attention back to the current situation.

“It makes more sense for it to be me” It was Eddies argumentative voice, Buck should have picked that before, having heard it many times in the past.

“Eddie, I understand you want to help but we have more space” Athena argued back.

If Buck were a lesser man, he would let this play out. Curious to see who would win in a battle of stubbornness between Eddie and Athena. However, he interrupted before it got to that point today.

“Wait, what are we talking about?” The three other occupants of the room turned their heads to look at him. Buck noticed the fond exasperation on Eddies face at the fact Buck obviously hadn’t been listening.

Bobby filled him in. “We’re discussing your living situation now that you have Oliver”.

Furrowing his eyebrow, still confused, Buck asked. “What’s wrong with my apartment?”

Eddie let out a chuckle “Your loft is a death trap for an adult Buck, let alone a 3 year old. Add on to the fact that we don’t know anything about his physical or cognitive abilities yet”.

Buck felt a panic at that. “I can’t find a new apartment that quickly!”

“Hence why these two are arguing about who’s house you’re going to be staying at. Good luck convincing either of them that you’re going to get a new apartment on your own.” Bobby looked amused as he gazed upon the determined faces of his wife and firefighter.

Athena beat Eddie to the punch. “We have two spare bedrooms now that May has moved out and both Bobby and I have raised enough children between us; you firefighters included, for us to be able to help Buck out for the first few months as he gains his footing, just a temporary adjustment.”

Eddie sighed so hard; Buck would later swear he saw an eyeroll. “You may have more room than me, but Buck would be better suited staying at my place. We have a spare room for Him and Oliver, and I’m sure Chris wouldn’t mind sharing a room with his soon to be best friend if needed. Plus, between Buck, myself, Carla, Pepa and Abuela, there is always someone home looking after Chris that could watch Oliver too, there are times when you’re both at work and Buck will have to organise childcare.”

Athena opened her mouth as if to argue but Eddie cut her off again. “Also, half of Bucks things are already at my house, it wouldn’t be hard to move him in.”

Buck avoided looking at the raised eyebrow he received from Bobby and Athena for that statement.

The argument looked at if it was going to continue when movement from Bucks lap sent the room into silence.

Oliver roused against Buck, burrowing his head in deeper on Bucks collarbone as he brought a hand up to his face. The four adults in the room paused, trying to remain quiet and let the boy fall back into a deep sleep. It looked like it might all be for nothing for a moment before Oliver went lax against his dad again, slipping the thumb of his left hand into his mouth, sucking contently.

Buck held in the instinct to coo at how cute his baby is, ignoring the growing patch of drool that was now on his shoulder. He ran a loving hand through Oliver hair before turning back to the group in front of him.

“Athena, I appreciate the offer, I really do, but I think Eddie is right. It makes more sense for us to stay with him, it’ll give Oliver an opportunity to get to know Chris and there will always be someone at home if something goes wrong and I get stuck at work. Plus, with his diagnosis, we may even be able to get funding to pay Carla to watch both boys.”

Eddie nodded along, looking like Christmas had come early.

“Fine you win Eddie.” Thankfully, Athena didn’t seem upset about his decision. “But Buck, you better bring that grandbaby of mine to visit every week!”

Buck blushed at the reference to their growing mother/son relationship and nodded.

Any further conversation was cut off by footsteps coming up the stairs to the loft. Bobby disappeared to investigate and returned with a woman.  She was older than Athena, skin slightly wrinkled but beautiful.

“Hi ‘Thena, I’m so glad you called. Hopefully we can get this whole mess sorted for you.

Athena rose to greet her. “Maybelle, thank you so much for coming all this way. This is Evan Buckley, I mentioned him in my call, we all call him Buck”.

Buck exchanged polite pleasantries with her, an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. He was already so attached to Oliver and the idea of taking him in, he needs this woman on his side if he wants to get through all the legal issues smoothly. 

He sat like a statue, frozen, as Athena explained the situation to Maybelle, bringing out all of the paperwork they had found in Oliver’s bag and the envelope, as well as the note left in his hand, and the one written to Buck too. Hearing it all out loud again made the anger he felt before return seeing hi sons life laid out on the table in a bunch of doctors notes and letters.

He just didn’t understand how someone could do that to their child. He had only known Oliver less than an hour and he couldn’t imagine sending him off into a fire station alone, not knowing how he was or if he found the person he was looking for.

His inner turmoil must show clearly on his face. Eddie reached across the gap between the two armchairs they were still sitting in, grasping Bucks hand firmly in his own and squeezing. The pressure providing just enough comfort to keep him calm, for now.

He turned back to Maybelle with a forced pleasant smile, just in time for her to finally address the elephant in the room.

“This is quite the sticky situation you’ve got yourself in here Mr Buckley”. Maybelle turned to speak directly at him, his heart sinking at her words. “But I think we’ll be able to work this out easy enough.”

Buck felt like he could suddenly release the breath he had been holding for the last hour, the relief evident in everyone else in the room as cheerful smiles are passed around. He tuned back into hear her plan, eager to make everything official.

“Since you have the signed custody forms available to you, if you are to sign these forms I can take them with me today and file them straight away. Custody will be granted to you and can not be challenged by the mother, nor anyone on her side of the family.”

He signed them on the spot, no time to waste.

Buck felt like he was flying.

“However…”

And now he was falling.

He did not like the tone of her voice.

Gripping Eddies hand tight he listened.

“However, there is still the issue of the mother abandoning her child in the carpark of a fire station, in the sun, without notifying anyone inside of what she had done. The safe Haven law only allows infants under the age of 72 hours to be dropped at fire or police stations. Older children have more rules, there are ways to go about it that aren’t child abandonment.”

Athena asked, “Do you think we should press charges?”

“It doesn’t matter whether you press charges or not, the child cannot speak for himself or make legal decisions. This means the matter is up to the state, and I will be recommending they press charges. What if there wasn’t anyone at the fire station? What if someone else grabbed him before you found him? What if he wandered into traffic while waiting? So many things could have gone wrong, and she should have thought about that”.

“So what do we do now?” Buck didn’t think he could stomach testifying against his child’s mother, even after all the terrible things she had done. How could he face his child as a teenager and tell him that he’s responsible for his mother being charged?

Maybelle sent him a sympathetic look. “Nothing. We will deal with it all on our end and contact the firefighters who originally found him if we need more information. For now, go home and enjoy your baby Mr Buckley, I’ll contact you if there’s any further questions regarding custody.”

Buck sat still as Athena and Bobby walked Maybelle to the exit.

He couldn’t help but ask Eddie, the guilt weighing down on him.

“Eddie its too much to ask you to take us in, do you realise how much work that is going to be for you?”

Eddie dragged his chair closer, “Yes, Evan. I know exactly what I am getting into. You are my family, and now, so is Oliver. Chris is going to absolutely love having Oliver around, I give it two weeks and they’ll be plotting against us in no time”.

Buck smiled at the thought, not that it lasted long. “I don’t want Chris to have to give up his space. He’s 9, not matter how much he loves Ollie, he’s not going to want to share his bedroom with a 3 year old. Plus, like you said, we have no idea what Oliver's needs, skills or behaviour is going to be like yet.”

Eddie looked shy all of a sudden. “Well, I kind of figured maybe you and I could share instead, at least until we figure everything out. But I didn’t really think you would want me mentioning that idea in front of your parents”

Buck blushed at the suggestions but nodded in agreement. “I could sleep on the couch if you want your space though”.

Eddie rolled his eyes “Buck, come on. We’re both adults. Why would I let you sleep on a couch when I have half a king sized bed that’s not being used.”

Buck finally gave in, it was fine, he would figure out how to make it work.

Bobby and Athena smiled as they made their way back in the office.

“What are you two smiling about?”

“Nothing” It was Eddie who answered. “We were just about to wake the little man up and go on a much needed shopping trip. Looks like we have a lot to buy before heading home”.

“Let us know if you need any help alright boys?”

Buck shared a look with Athena in thanks.

Eddie looked at him, his expression comforting and grounding “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be”.

Notes:

Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions or more parts :)

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