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It feels like the world has slowed around him. The distant sounds from the highway are steadily tickling Li Ming’s ears, a pleasant white noise as he absentmindedly chases the remnants of liquor on his lips.
It’s still bitter and ever so slightly sweet, just like it had been when Heart had filled the glass for him, something close to mischief playing around his lips. The burning sensation was not quite like anything Li Ming had felt before and the gleam in Heart's eyes only added fuel to the fire, embedding an almost dizzying sensation within him.
Li Ming turns his head to the side, soft stalks tickling his arm as he repositions himself. His eyes zero in on the boy lying next to him on the grass and he loses himself for just a moment in the study of Heart’s profile.
Heart is looking up at the stars, his long lashes fluttering downwards ever so often, and Li Ming remembers all the moments their shadows were dancing on Heart's face, brought to life by the mellow lights of the living room. One time one of them fell on Heart's cheek, a soft feather against the sharp outlines of his cheekbone and Li Ming swooped it up for him to make a wish. He can still feel the softness of Heart's cheek against his thumb and the tenderness with which he blew his eyelash away, never averting his eyes from Li Ming. Li Ming's gaze continues to wander over Heart's profile until it comes to rest on the small slope where his neck meets his shoulder. He wants to feel the curve under his thumb as well. Would his skin feel equally as soft there?
Heart turns to look at him, eyes like the ocean, a silent force, pulling Li Ming irrevocably closer. Anticipation forms within him, igniting sparks and currents up to the tips of his fingers as he reaches out, slowly following the muscle that leads up to the nape of Heart’s neck. Sketching waves on skin, he inches upwards and into the short strands of Heart's hair, stopping only when he sees the other’s gaze change.
Startled by this new intensity he sees in his eyes, Li Ming lets his fingers slip down to Heart's shoulder, lightly tracing circles there, not quite ready to let go of him completely. Still caught in Heart's gaze, he swallows nervously, waiting for a reaction, something to tell him what to do now. Deciphering the meaning behind all of Heart's gestures and looks had become Li Ming's specialty over the course of the last couple of weeks and, if he was being honest, his favorite thing. He knows every muscle in his face, knows when Heart will cock his eyebrow at him playfully, knows the way his lips curve when he smirks at him. But this is new and different and Li Ming can't calm the flutter forming in his chest when Heart merely keeps staring at him. Praying to all the stars that he doesn't misread the meaning behind this, he rests his hand on Heart’s chest.
Thump – thump, thump – thump; his fingertips tap on Heart's chest.
Thump - thump, thump - thump; Li Ming follows the rhythm, trying to imitate the soothing feeling vibrating through his skin .
Thump - thump, thump - thump; Distracted by the heartbeat that reverberates under his palm, Li Ming turns his gaze to his chest. Are these waves of rhythm, this rhythmic pulsation what sound usually feels like to Heart?
Warm fingers close around his just as he is starting to get lost in the repetitiveness of his action. Li Ming's eyes immediately shoot up to Heart's, looking for any sign of discomfort, a flicker of annoyance, any indicator that would tell him if he went too far. But he finds none.
Instead Heart studies him, studies his eyes, carefully as if searching for something. Li Ming sees his gaze occasionally flicker lower and the faintest blush spreads over his cheeks, before he meets his eyes again and Li Ming feels the heat blooming on his own cheeks. It has been a while since Heart had poured him the liquor, but right at this moment, Li Ming feels the hot burn again, travelling from his cheeks over his neck to his chest, all the way to his stomach, stopping there in an almost nervous flutter.
The thrill embedded in the secrecy of their action had made his head spin, in the same way it does now under Heart's inquisitive eyes.
In an effort to clear the fog that has been forming in his head, Li Ming reluctantly lets his hand slip out of Heart's while rolling back into the grass and looks up at the dark night sky, trying to ignore Heart's gaze, which even just from the corner of his vision seems to be burning questions in to his skin .
Li Ming doesn't know much about constellations, and he doesn't think Heart does either, but after their makeshift festival celebration, going straight back inside didn’t feel right. Seeing the stars in the endless sky above and feeling the breeze carrying over from the ocean, resonates with tonight's frequency way more than any movie could have done.
Feeling the breeze cooling his heated cheeks, Li Ming sits up and looks down at Heart, his eyes tracing once again the curl of his lashes, the slope of his nose, and the curve of his upper lip. He can see the light red on Heart's cheeks as he notices Li Ming’s gaze. Heart's cheeks are the color of the lanterns swinging in the wind in front of his room. A sight he never gets tired of.
Heart sits up as well and points at Li Ming, then to the house, then up. Li Ming grins.
The note on the fridge said Heart’s parents will be back late tonight. They know Li Ming will stay after his chores to “keep Heart company”, as Heart’s mother instructed, but will usually still leave before they come back home, or, at the latest, upon their arrival.
But tonight feels different than “usual” and Li Ming can feel that he is not the only one who wants this night to continue.
Knocking the grass off his pants, Heart stands up, then offers Li Ming his hand. He takes it, smiling, his grip still firm around Heart’s knuckles as they make their way up the stairs.
They mostly spend their days in the living room or outside in the garden, so Li Ming lets his gaze wander curiously as they enter Heart’s room.
There are pictures on the walls and drawings, illuminated by moonlight that keeps pouring in from multiple windows and Li Ming notices an intangible warmth, that, other than the rest of the house, seems to welcome him the second his foot passes the doorstep.
His eyes fall onto the keyboard standing close to the door and something heavy tugs at his insides for a moment. Deciding to say nothing about it for now, he joins Heart at the open window instead, looking up at the sky, just like they had done moments ago. Heart turns around when he feels Li Ming next to him, his eyes as inquisitive as they had been back in the garden and Li Ming wonders what Heart is searching for.
Since their fingers touched on that liquor bottle since he watched Heart’s eyes roaming his face and caught himself being distracted by the shape of his lips, Li Ming knew that, even if he didn't have a name for it, he wanted this to continue. And after tonight, after the garden, he is sure he can see it in Heart’s face, his eyes a mirror of his own, that he is not the only one.
Heart seems to be coming to the same conclusion. He lets out a small huff, accompanied by a smile that rearranges everything within Li Ming. He looks at him for a second longer with that mesmerizing gaze of his before dragging his thumb across Li Ming's chin, light as a feather - and then letting it go just as quickly.
Li Ming stops, then stops again when he realizes Heart had let go of his face already.
Was that it? Only now realizing that he'd closed his eyes, he opens them again, ready to protest, and is met with an infuriating sight. Heart's eyes are sparkling with mischief, the corners of his lips forming into a proud smile after seeing that he walked right into his tease. A low sound escapes Li Ming's throat, almost a growl.
If Heart wanted a tease, he would give him a tease.
Li Ming steps closer, his focus circling in on Heart, who mockingly raises an eyebrow. Never breaking eye contact, he raises his arms and places them on Heart's shoulders. He intended to lace his fingers together behind his neck, but when he feels short strands of hair tickling his skin, he can't help but drag his fingers up and into Heart’s hair, just like he had done before.
Heart’s eyes widen in surprise.
Emboldened by Heart's hands pulling him closer around the waist, Li Ming tilts his head, eyes dropping down to Heart's lips and inching closer. Heart hammering in his ears, he can feel Heart replicating his movement, can feel the warmth Heart radiates, can feel the distance between them becoming smaller and smaller - until he hears a code being typed into the box next to the door downstairs.
Alarmed, he pulls back and puts one hand on Heart's chest, creating distance between them again. He tries to be gentle, tries to not startle Heart, but he can see him freeze under his touch, his eyes boring into Li Ming’s, panic evident on his face. Frantically searching for a reason in Li Ming's eyes, he signals what Li Ming can only assume to be something to the effect of
"What's wrong?"
Li Ming grabs Heart’s arm. Turning around and quickly away from the window, he moves to the door of Heart’s room, closing it as silently as possible.
He then turns back to Heart. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he types “your parents are back, I heard the door code” into his notes app as fast as he can, then shows Heart the message.
Heart’s shoulders relax visibly, relief blooming on his face, just like the blush of the liquor had done before and he walks over to the bed, throwing himself into the pillows.
Li Ming watches him carding a hand through his hair, then closing his eyes.
Still looking at him, Li Ming slowly moves over to the bed as well. Sitting down on the other side of it, he squeezes Heart’s knee momentarily, signaling that everything is alright.
Feeling the weight of the mattress shift, Heart opens his eyes to look at Li Ming. Sitting up against the headboard, he points at Li Ming’s phone that’s lying between them. Li Ming unlocks it, the screen of the notes app still showing his previous explanation. Heart grabs it and, after typing for a minute, hands it back to him.
Li Ming expects a continuation of their conversation but instead finds himself looking at a new phone contact:
“H❤”
Li Ming smiles at this phone, before typing his first message.
“How sneaky you are.”
Heart feels the vibration of his phone in his pocket and shakes his head at the message.
“It’s way easier this way.”
“Sweet dreams.”
Looking back up at Li Ming, a smile is playing around Heart’s lips again.
This is their secret, just like the liquor.
Li Ming grins back at him, widely, not having to think twice about the meaning of Heart’s smile.
He likes sharing secrets with Heart.