Chapter Text
“Okay,” Speedy’s muffled voice resounded through the line. Side could hear a twinge of disappointment. “So not this year either Side? Could you at least describe what you’re wearing?”
Side looked down at his clothes and pulled at the hem of his hoodie as if it was his first time seeing it.
“Mmm,” he said inquisitively. “Do I really wanna do that?” His outfit was pretty generic. There were probably a ton of people at Twitchcon with the same exact outfit on. “Yeah okay,” he gave in. “It’s a black hoodie, not oversized because I’m not a pussy, some blue jeans, and of course my hot-ass average black Nike’s.”
“Oh yeah Side,” he could hear the smile in Speedy’s voice. “I can’t wait to recognize you in your,” he cleared his throat, “hoodie, jeans, and tennis shoes. This will be a piece of cake.”
“I know, right,” Side stifled his laughs.
The car bumped on a pothole and Side dropped his phone onto the floor of the car.
He picked it up and turned it over.
“What the fuck was that Side?”
“Fuck…” he muttered, tracing his finger along a brand new crack that went from the top right to the bottom middle of his screen. He looked up to the Uber driver and frowned. “I dropped my phone bro.”
“Oh no,” came Speedy’s voice. “Is it broken?”
“There’s a crack in it dude. Shit.”
It was really his fault. He should have been holding on tighter.
“You were going to get a new one anyways right?” Speedy pointed out. “You were talking about getting the new iPhone and giving the one you have to your mom.”
“Yeah…” Side said, looking at his phone glumly. “You’re right, it’s not a big deal. But now I’ve gotta deal with a cracked phone through Twitchcon. I’m going to cut my finger at least six times on this.”
Speedy laughed from the other line.
“Oh shit,” he heard him say. “Sorry someone’s here, I’ll see you later.” Side liked to imagine Speedy gave him a wink and a grin, as if he was actually saying “I might not know what you look like, but I’ll figure it out somehow.”
“Right,” Side snickered. “See you too.”
Speedy hung up and Side was left alone with his thoughts and a cracked phone.
SideArms was a faceless YouTuber and Twitch streamer.
Speedy was also a YouTuber and Twitch streamer, but he wasn’t faceless. He used a face cam in all of his media posts, which gave him the unfortunate gift of getting recognized.
Usually the fans were super sweet, but apparently some of them could get pushy or even stalker-ish. Side wasn’t going to put himself in the position of getting stalked.
But maybe that wasn’t the only reason he was faceless. He wasn’t too self-conscious, but he wasn’t godlike in looks. He’d been faceless for so long that he was afraid his friends would be disappointed if he face revealed privately and he was just a normal guy. The longer he waited to show his friends, the more nervous he got.
He wasn’t ready yet.
But he would be soon. And maybe describing his outfit to Speedy would be the first step.
“Hey man, have fun.” the Uber driver got his attention. she started laughing a bit. “I’d go with you but I’m poor as hell.”
Side awkwardly chuckled with her as he took his bag and got out of the car. He patted his chest twice to make sure he had his partner badge. And of course, he also made sure it was flipped so his username was in the back.
—
There was a partner lounge he could get into, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to walk into that yet. He was sure a real staff member would be checking his badge. And if the staff member happened to recognize his name Side would probably melt.
He seriously doubted any staff member would recognize his name, but still. Maybe he’d try and get his confidence up before going into the partner lounge.
He walked around to different booths. It was weird visiting his friends as a fan, but it was a nice change of pace. It was funny to watch people he talked to almost daily, like for example ChilledChaos, sign the sleeve of his hoodie as if they’ve never met him before.
He was sure his voice would be a good giveaway, so he tried not to say much. Unfortunately for him, he and Chilled did strike up quite a conversation about Yugioh cards.
“Do you know who SideArms is?” Chilled asked right when Side was saying his goodbyes.
“Yeah,” Side smiled, trying not to laugh. “I’ve seen you guys play Among Us with him.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you kinda sound like him?”
Side pretended to think for a moment.
“No,” he said. “I don’t think so.”
“You do.”
Side nodded.
“I’ll look into him later. Nice to meet you Chilled.”
He left and stuffed his hands into his jacket pocket. As he walked around the convention his eyes kept flicking to the signatures on his sleeve.
He’d gotten quite a few. He’d planned that when he got home, he’d take a picture of his sleeve with the signatures and send it to all his friends. But that was pretty much void now since he was sure Chilled would remember his face.
There was one person he knew he was avoiding.
Impulsively he pulled his phone from his back pocket, forgetting it was cracked. His finger slipped on the screen when he brought it up to eye level and his thumb scratched the loose glass.
“Fuck,” he hissed, whipping his thumb away from the screen.
It was bleeding.
He groaned in annoyance and wiped the blood off on the hem of his hoodie. He looked through Twitter and saw people tagging him with their selfies with Speedy.
He scoffed at one “are you jealous side” caption before sliding his phone back into his pocket.
So he was at his booth.
He found Speedy’s booth after getting directions from a nice staff member. He walked up and saw him talking with a handful of fans.
There were less people here than he realized and he felt very out of place, especially since Speedy knew what he’d be wearing.
He ducked behind a corner and scrambled out of his jacket. He unzipped his bag, stuffed it in, and zipped it back up.
This would throw Speedy in a loop for sure. If Side ditched his jacket (which he did), he would instead have on a corny green shirt with the words “GOOD VIBES” plastered across it. Side wore it because he assumed he’d be wearing a hoodie all day. He wouldn’t be caught dead wearing something like this in public. And Speedy would know that. He wouldn’t bat an eye.
He checked that his badge was facing the other way around before throwing his bag on his shoulder and striding back into Speedy’s booth.
Now not occupied with any fans Speedy spotted him almost immediately.
“Hey!” He said kindly.
“Hello,” Side tried. He had a unique voice, but over the course of the decade he’d spent experimenting it for content creation, he’d learned how to make it sound sort of normal. Though English wasn’t his first language, he never really had an accent. Sometimes however, he did tend to sound like he was holding his nose when he spoke. He found he could get rid of that if he spoke more charismatically and chipper.
So, even though it mentally hurt him, he tried to disguise his voice by talking like a dumbed down male Pinkie Pie.
And it worked.
“Are you a fan?” Speedy asked with a smile.
“I am actually,” Side responded. “And I would love it if you could sign this,” he stuck his wrist out for Speedy before realizing the hoodie sleeve he wanted to get signed was stuffed in his bag.
Speedy furrowed his eyebrows and looked back at Side.
“I mean,” he cleared his throat. He pulled his hand back and pretended to look at it flabbergasted “I guess it looks like I forgot the thing in the last booth. How about, uhm, a picture?”
“I can do that!”
Side pulled out his phone.
Speedy slung his arm around Side’s shoulder and grinned brightly as Side opened the camera app. When the view came up of Speedy and Side both looking into the camera Side became acutely aware of how much taller Speedy was. And how nice they looked on photo together.
He quickly took a picture and stepped back.
“Thank you so much!” Side said, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He held his hand out for Speedy to shake.
Speedy shook it.
“Of course, it was nice to meet you…uh,” He looked at Side for a second to fish for some sort of name.
Side dropped the hand and smiled. “Right,” he scratched the back of his head. A name? “My name’s—“
He was interrupted by a small “oh.”
His eyes snapped to what Speedy was looking at.
He was staring at his own palm, frowning at something in his hand. Coincidentally it was the same hand Side just shook.
Side felt his face drain of color when he caught sight of the dark red substance he left behind on Speedy’s palm.
“Oh my god,” he looked at his thumb, which was still bleeding. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I cut myself earlier and I didn’t know I was still bleeding.” He looked around frantically before seeing a restroom sign further away. “I can get you some paper towels,” he said. “There’s a bathroom down the hall I think.”
Speedy looked back to him and placed a gentle but firm grip on his shoulder to ground him.
“Hey dude, it’s fine,” he said, almost hesitating to let go. “You’re the one bleeding. Besides, you’ve already made it up to me.”
Side looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows.
“What do you mean?”
Speedy grinned before showing Side his not-bloody palms. In a matter of seconds he somehow cleaned the blood off his hand without access to paper towels or anything.
“Oh,” he realized, looking at the fabric on his shoulder where Speedy just touched him. A red stain resided smack dab on the middle of his sleeve.
“You paid me back by letting me ruin that god-awful shirt, like Jesus Christ bro.”
Side burst out laughing.
Side’s laugh couldn’t be disguised in the slightest. It was the most SideArms4Reason laugh he’d ever laughed.
It was such a dead giveaway, but when Speedy stopped snickering too it seemed to him like nothing even happened.
“I cannot believe,” Side managed to get out between laughs, “that you’d just straight up ruin a fan’s shirt like that.”
“You’re welcome,” Speedy shot him a grin.
“Yeah,” he coughed into his fist. He made eye contact with Speedy and he felt the color come back into his face a little too much. “I’m going to go wash the blood off my shirt. It was nice meeting you Speedy.”
Speedy waved him off with a smile.
“You too!”
—
After he’d stretched out his sleeve a decent amount to get it under the faucet, he decided he was confident enough to try the partner lounge.
He showed the staff member his badge—they didn’t recognize him—and got inside. The sight was less interesting than he expected.
Some streamers he recognized were inside talking to each other quietly. Most were people he’d never seen before in his life. He rummaged through his bag and found his hoodie.
He sat down on the couch, put his hoodie back on, and got out his phone. As he scrolled through Twitter his mind wandered to Speedy’s interaction with him.
He was elated. He felt high almost. That was the first face-to-face conversation he had with his best friend since, well, forever.
He closed Twitter and opened up the picture he got with him.
His eyes dusted over the screen, analyzing every feature. On the left was him. His ugly green shirt stood out, but it was perfect. He was growing his hair out. It wasn’t Speedy’s mullet level (and he wasn’t ever going to let it be mullet level) but it wasn’t short either. It was dirty blonde and it fell to the start of his neck, curling at the ends. He didn’t realize it at the time, but he had so much hair in his face when he took that picture.
He was actually happy in the picture. His eyes were screaming excitement. He looked like an actual KYR_Sp33dy fan.
He wasn’t even comparable to Speedy though.
Speedy had put his arm around him to take the picture, and at first he didn’t notice, but looking back at the picture it looked like Side was leaning into him. Speedy was grinning from ear to ear, his blue eyes were sparkling.
It was almost strange (and Side would never admit this out loud) how they fit perfectly together. As if he was meant to be by Speedy’s side.
He felt his face go hot and he closed the photos app like it burned him.
He put his head in his hands as thoughts raced through his mind. He imagined himself combing a hand through Speedy’s hair, on some sort of picnic date.
Picnic date?
Really?
Side knew Speedy would never willingly go on a picnic date. And Side probably wouldn’t like that either. Why was his mind putting lies in his head?
Another lie, he decided, was one fantasy featuring himself holding Speedy’s face and kissing it all over.
Still, he couldn’t help but flush.
“Hello?” Came a voice.
He looked up, knowing he was still probably red as a tomato.
A face he recognized was above him.
“Oh,” Chilled said, sounding pleasantly surprised. “It is you. You’re the one who talked to me about Yugioh earlier.”
Side cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair.
“Yeah, that’s me! Funny seeing you here.”
Chilled looked around the room at the various other streamers before sitting down next to Side. “So you’re a Twitch partner too?”
Oh yeah. He forgot he was in the partner lounge.
That’s probably a giveaway.
“Sure am,” Side nodded, rubbing his arm nervously. “I play, uh, GTA five RP. In that one RP server,” he lied straight through his teeth.
“Oh wow, I didn’t think that was still around,” Chilled laughed.
“It’s not as active anymore.”
Chilled was totally figuring him out. This wasn’t ideal.
He felt like melting in Chilled’s suspicious stare. His eyes were squinting, as if trying to decipher Side’s face.
“Are you sure you’re not SideArms?”
There it is.
What came next was a mental battle with himself. Chilled was a nice guy. And he was known to be good with keeping secrets. What could be the harm in telling him?
But also, if he did tell him, what would he even think? Would he be disappointed? Would he even care?
After a moment of silence, Side decided that in order to show all his friends who he really was one day, he needed to start small. This was a good opportunity.
Side raised his arms up as if he was being arrested by the police.
“You caught me,” he said. Chilled’s eyes went wide.
“Wait, really?”
Side grabbed his pass and flipped it around, holding it up to eye level.
“Holy shit, no way.”
“You figured it out too quick,” he started laughing. “Fuck.”
“Well maybe it would have helped if you didn’t go into the partner lounge.”
Side looked around.
“You might be right.”
Chilled started laughing hard.
“Dude,” he said. “When you left I was shocked at how much you sounded like Side. I couldn’t get over it.”
Side started giggling as well. He covered his mouth with the back of his palm.
“I’ve been going around to all my friends getting their signatures without them knowing,” he grinned, holding out his sleeve for Chilled to see.
He didn’t seem like he was disappointed by Side’s face.
Maybe Side’s just been overreacting this whole time.
Chilled looked at the dozens of signatures on his sleeve.
“And none of them knew it was you,” he looked back up.
“No!” He laughed. He turned on his phone to the photos app. “And if you’re wondering why Speedy isn’t there, it’s because I took a picture with him instead.”
“Oh my God.” Chilled looked at the photo with wide eyes. “You did not.”
They both started laughing.
It felt so right to be speaking and joking with someone he knew online in person. Especially when he knew they knew who he was, and that they didn’t care.
He imagined him and Speedy like this.
Maybe one day it would be like that.
“You need to keep this all a secret,” Side suddenly got serious.
Chilled mimicked zipping his mouth shut, before promptly opening it again. “I promise. When have I ever revealed a secret?”
Then Chilled went wide eyed with an idea. He gestured Side to get closer and he leaned in to talk quietly into his ear.
“What if I brought you around with me, as like, my plus one. I’ve got so many things planned with Speedy and the others.” He said quietly. “You could hang out with them this way, and fuck with them more.”
Side leaned back with raised eyebrows.
“You’d do that?” He asked.
“Of course.” Chilled started chuckling again. “It’ll be funny.”
Side thought about it for a second. It wasn’t something he had to think long about.
“Let’s do it,” he said, wringing his hands. “But I’ll have to think about a name you’ll call me. Because introducing me as your ‘plus one; Albi SideArms’ isn’t going to work.”
“That’s true.”
Side wracked his brain for ideas. He remembered a few times when baristas accidentally wrote his name on coffee cups as “Alex,” or “Albert,” or others like that. One name in particular rang like a telephone in his mind.
“What about Alvin?” He suggested.
Chilled furrowed his eyebrows. “The chipmunk?”
“Sure,” Side waved his hand. “Alvin the chipmunk.”
Chilled seemed to taste the name in his mouth. “Alvin,” he repeated. “Alvin, Alvin, Alvin.” He paused. “Alvin because it’s close to Albi?”
“Something like that.”
“I like it!” He grinned. “In fact, I’m going to start calling you Alvin right now so I can get used to it.”
Side nodded.
“Have at it,” he said.
“You should start calling me Anthony too,” he said quieter. “In order to sell that we’re actually friends.”
Side grimaced.
“Okay, Anthony,” he replied. He mentally cringed as the name came out of his mouth. “Oh my God . No, that’s so wrong. You are not Anthony to me.”
Chilled nodded solemnly. He leaned back on the couch. “That’s why you need to get used to it now.”
Side’s phone dinged and Chilled looked over.
“Speedy texted you.”
Side grabbed his phone quickly and clicked on the message.
Did you come yet, it said.
Chilled and Side looked at each other.
“Did you speak to him at all when you got that picture?”
Disgusting, he replied back and Chilled snickered.
“I definitely did,” he said.
The delivered turned into a read and Speedy’s typing bubble popped up.
“But I tried to disguise my voice by, like, pitching it up and talking more…” he cleared his throat, “annoying.”
“Than it already is?”
“But I did laugh, which he could’ve recognized but he didn’t seem to,” he continued, completely ignoring Chilled’s comment.
Fuck you, came Speedy’s text.
Side responded with a winky face and then a well did you see anyone with a black hoodie and Nikes?
“What’s that about?”
Oh yeah. That was something Chilled needed context for.
“I told Speedy what I was wearing as a hint, but I took my hoodie off before I saw him so he wouldn’t immediately think that it was me.”
His phone vibrated in his hand.
I saw a few people, but they didn’t sound like you. I did see one person that sounded kind of like you but he wasn’t wearing a hoodie, just a very ugly shirt.
Side chuckled quietly, looking over at Chilled while he read.
“That was me,” he clarified.
“Oh? I didn’t look at the picture that hard, what were you wearing?” Chilled laughed.
Side set down his phone to lift his hoodie up. He lifted it just up to his neck to show Chilled his Good Vibes t-shirt.
“Okay,” Chilled’s voice sounded uncertain as he scanned the shirt. “Okay, so, what went through your mind this morning to put that on.”
Side burst out laughing while readjusting his hoodie.
“I didn’t expect to take off my hoodie today,” he snickered. “Give me a break.”
His phone vibrated again.
Side?
He picked it up off the couch and started typing his answer to Speedy’s earlier question.
Sorry I got distracted. No I haven’t come by yet.
You’ll have to catch me tomorrow then. I’ve got things planned with the others.
He sent a quick glance to Chilled before replying.
Fuuuuck .
“We do have something planned in an hour,” Chilled confirmed. “Tay, Speedy, Courtilly, Ze, Cheesy…” he paused for a moment to remember more names. “…Platy…and Kara are going to Olive Garden. You should come too.”
“Do you guys have a reservation?”
“We have a reservation for eight people, but I can call them and ask if they could tack on another chair.”
“Sure then.”
Chilled coughed obscurely.
“We did plan this in the group chat, the one with you in it. So, y’know,” he broke eye contact.
Side went to his messages and looked at the one group chat with all of his online friends. It had countless notifications he hadn’t checked in ages. He tapped the icon.
Chilled opened his phone to the group chat too.
“To be totally honest Chi— Anthony,” he cringed, “I muted that group chat a very long time ago.”
“That’s fair,” he said, typing out something.
Side watched on his own phone Chilled’s typing bubble pop up.
It dinged as Chilled sent his message.
Hey guys, I invited my friend Alvin to come with us if you don’t mind. I think you will like him.
“Okay,” Side said. “If I’m going I need a new shirt. If I go in my hoodie Speedy will know it’s me, and if I go in my t-shirt I will never live it down.”
Chilled paused for a moment before thinking. His face lit up with an idea.
“I have the perfect thing for you”, he said, swinging his bag from around his shoulder and unzipping it. A few moments of rifling around later and Chilled was presenting some of his merchandise. It was a t-shirt, and just one glance was enough for Side to know that it was entirely too big for him.
“ Team Sicko ” it said.
He took it out of Chilled’s hands with a frown and a sarcastic “thanks.”
“Well go on, put it on.” Chilled said.
Side looked around at the dozens in the lounge.
“In here?” He laughed.
“Well obviously not in here. In a bathroom.” He paused before adding, “But I wouldn’t mind if you did change in here.” He waggled his eyebrows and Side blushed hard.
“Go fuck yourself,” he said, standing up suddenly. “I’ll be back.”
“And I’ll be waiting.”
—
It wasn’t until about 45 minutes later when Side found himself stepping out of Chilled’s passenger door to a busy fragrant restaurant parking lot.
Before that he was sitting silently in Chilled’s car while Chilled was on the phone with the people running the Olive garden asking for an extra seat added to their reservation.
And before that he and Chilled were sitting on the partner lounge couch checking to see if their friends were okay with “Alvin” joining them.
And before that Side was looking in the mirror at Chilled’s shirt, which was embarrassingly too big for him. He rolled up the sleeves and walked out of the bathroom with as much swagger in his step as possible.
And now he was standing confidently in front of an Olive Garden with his good friend ChilledChaos by his side.
“Are you ready Alvin?” Chilled asked quietly while leaning closer to him. “There should be a few at the table already.”
Side looked at Chilled with determination scrawled over his face.
“Anthony,” he said, trying to suppress the jolt of cringe that spiked through his body. He lifted his hand up to his forehead in a salute. “I’m ready as I’ll ever be.”
Chilled nodded and stepped forward to hold open the door.
“Let’s do this.”
The waiter showed them the table where he and Chilled would be sitting. At first he examined the table. It wasn’t too long, but it was long enough to sit eight people. Four chairs accompanied one side, another four were pushed up under the other, and a last, mismatching, chair was placed awkwardly at one end of the table.
In the awkward chair sat someone he recognized as Courtilly. Next to her was Kara. On the side opposite to Kara on the last chair sat Ze.
“Hey Chilled!” Ze greeted them as Chilled sat with Ze. Side sat next to Chilled as well, one away from Courtilly.
“Oh!” Court looked up from the menu. “Hey Chilled,” she then made eye contact with Side. “And you must be Alvin.”
“That’s me,” Side greeted her. “It’s nice to meet you. You’re Courtilly, right?”
Everyone at the table froze. Kara and Court both gaped at him. Ze leaned past Chilled to look his way.
Kara spoke in a tone that made Side feel somewhat patronized.
“You’re Alvin?” She asked. She glanced at Chilled and then back as Side nodded. In an instant, a globule of aloe manifested in his throat. “Have you ever heard of SideArms?”
Side faked a confused look.
“You mean, like, sidearms as in guns?” He shot a few finger guns her way.
“No.” Kara chuckled into the back of her palm. Courtilly smiled. “I mean the YouTuber. SideArms4Reason.”
Side raised his eyebrows as if he just remembered something.
“Oh yeah,” he said slowly as he reminisced. “I’ve heard Anthony mention a ‘ SideArms ’ once or twice. I didn’t think much of it, why?” He was proud of himself for saying Chilled’s name without emphasizing it weird or making a face.
“You sound like him,” Ze butted in. “Like, exactly like him.”
Side frowned.
“Is that a good thing?”
Kara and Courtilly looked at each other before immediately starting to backtrack.
“Oh! Yeah of course. It’s no worries,” Court smiled at him. “Side’s a really good friend of ours, so if anything this will help us get to know you faster.”
Side heard someone walk up behind him. He turned around to see a curly blond man he recognized as Cheesy.
“Hey Cheesy!” Kara grinned, motioning him over to their table.
Cheesy gladly took a seat next to her.
“Hey guys,” he said. His eyes glazed over everyone sitting down before lingering on SideArms. “Uhm hello. You’re Alvin right?” He squinted his eyes as he took in every feature. Side couldn’t resist adjusting uncomfortably as he stared. “Okay, so, I hope this doesn’t sound weird but you’re, like, hot.”
“Cheesy!” Kara and Court said in unison.
Side went red and he choked down the urge to lay his head in his hands.
“Someone had to say it!” Cheesy threw his hands up. He turned his attention back to Side. He curled one hand into a fist and coughed into it. “Ahem, anyways, I’m Cheesy. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Thanks guy—“ he caught himself. “—guys for letting Chilled bring me. And it’s nice to meet you as well Cheesy.”
“Wow.” Cheesy said with an eyebrow raise.
“Doesn’t he sound like Side?” Ze motioned towards him.
“Oh?” Cheesy frowned as if he hadn’t even noticed. “I guess he does a little bit. Not that much though. I’m more-so surprised at how nice he is.”
Side felt flustered and scratched the back of his neck. He hadn’t expected to be called both attractive and kind in the span of half a minute.
“It’s true though,” Kara nodded. She glanced at Side. “He’s a sweetheart. Where’d you manage to fish this one from Chilled?”
Chilled gaped at her incredulously.
“Fish?” He sputtered, shaking his head. He grabbed onto Ze’s shoulder for dramatic effect. “Alvin is no sea creature, I’ve known him since I was a kid. I was practically raised with him.”
“Oh shut up,” Ze rolled his eyes, taking Chilled’s hand off his shoulder and placing it back on the table. “If he was actually your childhood friend we would‘ve heard of him by now.”
Chilled looked to Side for help. Within a millisecond Side realized he was sweating from pressure.
Side shrugged as if the notion was an everyday thing for him.
“I’ve never really liked social media. I’m a pretty private person and Anthony respects that.” He said. He closed his eyes and shook his head as if it was obvious. “I asked him not to mention me by name and he never has.”
A few of them nodded like it made sense.
Side felt relieved when a group of footsteps distracted them. He turned around too to see who it was.
As soon as he did though he regretted it.
Platy and Speedy were walking up to their table and as he looked at them Speedy stopped speaking mid-sentence. His eyes locked with Side’s in recognition.
He turned around quickly. He felt his face start burning and prayed no one else noticed.
Platy sat in the chair next to Cheesy, and Speedy sat next to Platy. At this point there was just one empty chair, and that was the one next to Side. He realized with a bad feeling in his gut that that seat would be Tay’s.
“Hey guys,” Platy smiled. His eyes scanned the table until they landed on Side’s. “Hey man, how are you?”
“I’m good, thank you,” Side said nervously under Speedy’s unwavering stare.
“Woah,” Platy said, taken aback. He glanced at Speedy and back again. “Has anyone ever told you how much you sound like SideArms. You sound exactly like him dude.”
A few people around the table chuckled when Side responded with “Yeah, I’ve been getting that a lot recently.”
Cheesy shrugged. “I don’t really hear it.”
It was a few minutes later when Tay joined the table. When she arrived the meeting quickly devolved into madness. To the right of Side was an argument among the girls about Mario Kart, and to the left the boys were talking about Overwatch 2. The only person who wasn’t participating in any conversation was Speedy, who Side knew had just been focusing on him the entire time.
“Have you ever played Mario Kart Alvin?” Tay turned towards him with aggression.
He started giggling at Tay’s tone. “Yeah,” he said, “I have in fact.”
He knew the next thing he was about to say would set Tay off. He couldn’t help but start laughing.
“I think it’s a great game,” he managed between chuckles.
“Excuse me,” Tay spoke in a slippery tone. The other girls laughed with him. “How about we all play Mario Kart so I can beat your goddamn ass Alvin.”
Side was hysterical at this point, covering his mouth to muffle his laughter. He was aware he was sounding like himself again with his laughing. There wasn’t any way to disguise it.
“I’m gonna fuck you so goddamn hard in that game you’ll never wanna play it again,” Tay continued. Side glanced at Speedy who was grinning like a madman. He looked at the girls again with lightly red cheeks.
“My face hurts from laughing,” he said genuinely. “Oh my god.”
Platy cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention.
Slowly people stopped talking and turned to him.
Platy looked around at the silent table and smiled in content when he realized he did successfully get people to focus on him.
“I just wanted to say,” he said, feigning real emotion. He put a hand up to his heart. “Things have been incredible lately. And one thing in particular, a great thing, is just around the corner,” he sniffed dramatically. “Let’s all give a toast to the upcoming Mario Movie with Chris Pratt.”
No one had gotten anything to drink yet so they had nothing to toast with. Instead everyone resorted to polite clapping. Kara and Cheesy gave a few cheers and Side couldn’t help but start laughing again.
Platy looked at Side with genuine curiosity.
“You know about that movie Alvin?” He asked.
He became more giggly with the question. He couldn’t help but remember him, Speedy, and the rest of the crew poking fun at the movie’s trailer. Specifically, poking fun at Mario’s flat-as-a-pancake ass.
“How could I not?” Side giggled. “It’s all over Twitter.”
Platy nodded and gave a chuckle.
The chatter died down to quiet small talk. The atmosphere was pleasant but thick. Every breath felt like Side was swallowing honey.
It was a moment later that Side realized why things had suddenly gone weird.
Courtilly had stopped speaking.
Even more, she’d stopped speaking and frowned.
Side couldn’t explain why, but the honey he’d been metaphorically gulping down swiveled into a swarm of angry stinging bees.
Court’s eyes landed on his and he knew right then that he was the reason she was lost in thought.
He’d said something wrong.
“Alvin?” She asked him. The table went silent at Courtilly’s confused tone.
“Yes?” He tried not to sound nervous.
For a moment she didn’t say anything and just scanned his face. Then she continued.
“I thought you said you didn’t use social media.”
Side clamped his mouth shut and glanced at Chilled. The expression he had on was nothing short of a real life yikes emoji.
The table was quiet.
“I—“ He started, looking around at everyone expecting an answer, except Speedy, who was smiling in amusement. Side wasn’t a good liar at all. The person who could actually lie in this group was Chilled, who wasn’t in the position to offer any help, just moral support. “I never said I didn’t use social media. I’m just, I’m not an avid user. I’m not a big fan of it.”
That didn’t seem like a good enough answer for them though, because they still stayed quiet.
Speedy cleared his throat, drawing Side’s attention. He sent him a wink before speaking loudly to the table.
“So,” he said with a tone of voice Side recognized from when he purposefully shifted topics in the past. “Where’s the waiter? We’ve got nothing to drink, no appetizers, nothing and we’ve been here for quite the hot minute.”
“You’re right,” Kara agreed, looking around. She called one over from across the room.
In a matter of moments it seemed like everyone had forgotten the awkward answer he gave them about his social media presence.
Side wasn’t really thinking about that though as the group ordered their food.
He was thinking about what just happened with Speedy. He winked and changed the subject like he knew what was going on. Like he sympathized with Side and didn’t want to watch his cover get blown.
The color drained from Side’s face.
Did Speedy know?
He looked to Chilled who was looking at him with a similar expression. He had the same feeling too. Side glanced at Speedy from the corner of his eye and refocused back on Chilled, who nodded solemnly. Side furrowed his eyebrows and turned back to the waiter who was listening to Tay finish up her order.
“Alright ma’am,” he said, scribbling down on his notepad. “Is that all for you?”
“Yes, thank you,” she said with a kind smile.
“Okay!” The waiter wrote some final things on the notepad before looking over it at Side. “And what about you sir?”
Oh.
Side hadn’t looked at the menu since he got here.
“Uhhhh,” he looked down and scanned the menu. He said the first thing he spotted. “Can I have, uh, Chicken tortellini alfredo please. And Sprite.”
Side heard Speedy snicker to the left of him. The waiter nodded, writing it down.
“You do mean tortelloni I’m assuming.”
Side frowned.
“Are they not the same thing?”
Next to him Chilled stifled a laugh that made Side want to punch him.
“I’m afraid not,” the waiter looked at him with furrowed eyebrows and an understanding smile. “Tortelloni is bigger than tortellini and it’s filled with vegetables, not meat. I’m sure I can make it tortellini if you want. I can figure something out for you.”
“No, no, no,” he shook his head. “Tortelloni is fine thank you.”
The waiter nodded. He finished gathering orders and walked away.
“That’s embarrassing for you Alvin.”
Side found the eyes of the person who said that. He didn’t like the way they, Speedy, emphasized his fake name. It was like he knew that it was fake. He almost expected Speedy to say something along the lines of “if that even is your real name” right after. But he didn’t. Instead he remained looking at Side with a mischievous glint in his eyes, patiently waiting for a response.
Side grinned.
“Right,” he said, resting his head on his palm and looking at Speedy through his eyelashes. “And who are you?”
Tay next to him laughed loudly and Side took relish in Speedy’s look of betrayal.
“Oh,” Chilled gasped. “I haven’t introduced everyone yet. Now that you’re all here,” he cleared his throat. “Everyone, this is Alvin. He’s my childhood friend. And Alvin,” he pointed to Ze first and introduced everyone going clockwise, “This is Ze, Speedy…Platy…Cheesy, Kara, Courtilly, and Tay.”
“Hey guys,” Side took his head off his hand and gave a curt wave.
Tay slammed her fists on the table dramatically.
“Anthony!” She hissed, “you need to invite him over for a Mario Kart game at some point so I can crush his fucking balls.”
“Holy shit,” Side said in tears.
“Alvin’s incredible at that game,” Chilled defended, wrapping an arm around Side’s shoulder. He didn’t miss the heated glance Speedy sent Chilled’s way. “You don’t wanna mess with him.”
Side nodded absently. His eyes landed on Speedy’s. His mouth was pinched in a firm line and his eyebrows were slightly angled. Distantly, it seemed to Side like he was jealous.
Jealous of what?
Chilled was still talking, telling some fake story about his and “Alvin’s” childhood. He felt him squeeze his shoulder, and Side had no choice but to lean into him more.
If Speedy actually knew it was him, which was a scary thought in of itself, then he must know that Chilled’s playing a part in this. He must know that Chilled knows who Side is. And he knows that the whole Alvin thing is just a ploy. And if that’s the case, Side knew that in Speedy’s mind he’d be thinking that Side revealed who he was to Chilled willingly before he revealed to Speedy.
Maybe that’s why he was jealous? Because he thought Side liked Chilled more than him, so much so that Chilled was the first one to know what he looked like.
Which was just entirely wrong by the way. Speedy would always be his best friend. He’d choose him over anybody. Chilled just got lucky to find him in the partner lounge.
Chilled slid his arm from around Side’s shoulder because the waiter came with his food. He took the pasta he ordered from the waiter’s hands gratefully.
Because Side was focusing on the waiter, he almost missed the incredulous stares from everyone around the table.
“Is it true Alvin?” Tay asked.
Side let out an audible “hm?” at the question. To his defense, he had not listened to a single word Chilled had been saying for the past few minutes.
“Is it true you and Chilled went skydiving?” Courtilly clarified.
“Oh,” Side said, trying not to offer too much confusion in his tone. “He told you about that?” He looked at Chilled and sent him a nonverbal what the fuck with his eyes. Chilled just shrugged, his mouth full of pasta.
“So it’s true!? You guys went skydiving!” Tay repeated as she took her own dish from the waiter. While she was at it she grabbed Side’s too and handed it to him.
“Thank you,” he muttered. “Yeah, we did. But, I will never be doing it again. I was terrified dude.”
To give him an excuse to stop talking he stuffed his face with a bite of chicken tortelloni alfredo, immediately regretting it when it felt like his tongue burned off.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he panted, reaching for and downing his Sprite. Speedy starting laughing and Side sent him a look of despair.
The rest of the dinner went relatively smoothly. Eventually Speedy seemed to get comfortable enough with Side being there to talk more.
Side didn’t know how much time had passed when he and his friends stepped out into the chilly San Diego air. It was dark outside, and light pollution disguised the stars.
Chilled stood next to him.
“So what next?” he asked quietly and genuinely. Behind them the rest of the crew were talking to each other, not paying attention to them.
“My hotel is pretty far from here,” Side looked at the sky. “It’s getting late and you shouldn’t have to drive me there. So. I’ll call an uber.”
Chilled sent him a frown. “You don’t have to do that. Where is it?”
“It’s called Samesun Ocean Beach. It’s North of here,” Side said, not surprised by the scrunch of Chilled’s face. “It’s far. It’s fine. I can call an uber.”
“Did you say Samesun Beach?” Came a voice. The rest of the group was preoccupied with each other, but Side hadn’t noticed that Speedy wasn’t with them until he heard him ask that question. Side turned to the sound, finding Speedy almost eerily standing in a shadow, his features dark and blurred. “Your hotel is on the way to mine. I can drive you.”
Chilled clicked his tongue and backed up a step. This was the first time Speedy had really actually spoke to Side one on one this entire evening.
“I did say that,” Side confirmed, his voice slow and careful.
“Perfect,” Speedy smiled. “So you’re down with me taking you?”
Side nodded and chuckled anxiously. “I’m down.”
So in a span of ten minutes Side found himself in the passenger seat of Speedy’s car. Distantly he remembered he was wearing Chilled’s shirt, and he wondered if he’d ever want it back. Really though, he was trying to distract himself from the terrifying conversation to come.
Speedy at first said nothing as he started the car. With only a glance at Side when he turned his head he backed out of the parking spot.
Side realized with a jolt that Speedy wasn’t going to make this easy for him. Until Side talked about Alvin, this car ride would be silent and tense. And that was the last thing he wanted.
He was vaguely aware of Speedy’s hand gripping the head of his seat as the car backed up. For a few seconds Speedy leaned closer to him to angle his head around. Then they were out of the parking space and he resumed his normal position.
They managed to get out onto the road when Side decided he couldn’t take it anymore.
“So,” he started, keeping his eyes stationed on the traffic lights. He laughed nervously. “So obviously you’re not stupid.”
Speedy hummed before replying.
“You’re implying that everyone else is, Side.”
Side froze for a second.
He called him Side. Though he already knew Speedy knew, it was still unexpected. He almost wished it wasn’t true, but now he had a confirmation.
“No,” Side said. “I’m not. It’s—you’re my best friend. Obviously you’d know before them. I’m saying that you’d be stupid, as my best friend, to not know.”
“I’m you’re best friend?” Speedy asked, his eyes unwavering from the road. Side looked at him.
Where’d that come from?
Side couldn’t help the estranged laugh.
“What do you mean? Of course you are.”
Speedy’s voice took on one of spite. “If I’m such a great friend why did Chilled know first. ‘Childhood friends’ my ass, Side.”
“Is that what this’s about?” Side stared at him cynically. “You’re jealous?” He started genuinely laughing when Speedy’s mouth hardened into a thin line. The same one he noticed when Chilled threw his arm around Side’s shoulder. “Oh my God, you’re actually jealous.”
There was no response. The car became oddly quiet, and Side developed a burning hole in his stomach.
“Look,” He started, moving his eyes from the windshield to the glove box. “Chilled happened to catch me in the right place at the right time. I didn’t want to tell him first, but then I was coerced into a conversation about Yuhioh cards, and then he found me in the Partner lounge. And, he just, he just kinda guessed from there.”
Speedy didn’t respond for a long while. A few minutes passed and Side couldn’t get rid of the melting feeling.
“I knew it was you,” Speedy finally said.
Side looked at his profile. Speedy concentrated on the road, but it was obvious that there was more on his mind. His hat and his long hair doused him in darkness, contrasting the already dim light of the streetlights. Just barely were his blue eyes visible.
“As soon as I saw you, in the green shirt, I had that feeling.”
He sent Side a look. His eyes scanned him twice before going back to the road. Side wanted to sink into the seat and let it eat him alive.
“And then you started speaking. It didn’t sound like you at first, but the more you spoke the more I could hear it. You were disguising your voice when you saw me weren’t you?” He didn’t need to look at Side for his nod. He already knew. “And then we took a picture and I saw your cracked phone. The phone I knew you cracked because you did it while I was on a call with you. And you mentioned being afraid that you’d cut your finger. And what’d you know? You cut your finger. You cut your finger .”
Side risked a glance at his thumb. The cut was still there. It wasn’t bleeding anymore, but it was still there. Still reminding him of that awkward moment he got his blood on Speedy’s hand earlier during the day.
“But Side,” he wasn’t done yet. “I had an idea it was you, but do you know what made me absolutely sure?”
Side could take a guess.
Something he couldn’t disguise. An identifier. A thing that was truly his.
“My laugh?” He asked.
Speedy nodded.
“Your laugh,” he repeated. He shifted in his seat.
Something felt oddly intimate about this conversation.
Maybe it’s because it’s the first conversation Side has had with Speedy face to face. He wasn’t talking to him as a fan. He wasn’t talking to him as Alvin. He was talking to him as SideArms4Reason. He was talking to him as his best friend.
“I’m sorry,” Side said. He was sure he’d go numb soon.
“What for?”
“For not telling you sooner,” he frowned. He leaned his elbows on his legs and he resumed his staring contest with the glovebox. “I’m not self conscious. Nothing really stopped me from showing you my face. Maybe I’m just selfish.”
Side wasn’t going to sugar coat it.
Deep down he wondered if he was just prolonging his face reveal to his friends so he could continue to hold it over their heads.
“You’re not selfish,” Speedy said bluntly.
Side frowned. He didn’t look up.
“Your face is your face. If you didn’t want me to know then I’d have no right knowing. I can wait.”
Side went quiet. A few minutes passed with Side repeating those words in his head.
Fuck.
“Hey,” Speedy got his attention after a while. “Is this it?”
Side looked up. They’d stopped in front of the Samesun hotel entrance. “Yeah thank you,” he grabbed his bag and opened the passenger door.
When Side got out and shut the door he heard Speedy open his. Side sent him a glance and a raised eyebrow over the roof of the car.
“I’ll walk you to your room,” he said.
Speedy slammed his door without a care in the world and walked out next to Side. Side watched his long hair bounce in the wind and his gaze shifted to Speedy’s eyes. The baseball cap shadowed them a bit, but the blue was still vibrant. Side couldn’t help but wonder what genetic feature gave Speedy those long lashes.
He looked back at the entrance.
“Y’know,” Speedy said with a strange tone which, though Side had heard it before, he hadn’t heard it enough to decipher. “You’re a lot better looking than I imagined you’d be.”
“What is that supposed to mean,” Side giggled indignantly. He lowered his voice when the sliding doors opened and they stepped inside the reception room. “Did you think I’d be ugly?”
Speedy shrugged with a smile.
The receptionist welcomed them inside and Side greeted him kindly.
“You don’t need to like, check in or anything?” Speedy asked, tracking the reception desk they were currently passing. They were instead walking towards the elevator.
“No,” Side fished his keycard from his pocket. “I already have the key to my hotel room.”
“Albi, 203,” Speedy read out loud. He made a “hmmf” and punched in the 2 next to the elevator. It dinged and opened.
They remained silent on the actual ride up there. Side pulled out his phone from his pocket at a notification buzz, and Speedy made a face at the crack he saw earlier that day.
“That’s really bad,” Speedy pointed out. The elevator dinged again and they started walking to room 203.
“Yeah,” Side frowned, riskily running his index finger over the screen. “I’m surprised I only fucked my fingers once today.”
They stopped at room 203, and Speedy looked at the room number with almost, Side thought, an expression of sorrow.
“This is it” he said as Side swiped his keycard.
“For today,” Side replied stoically. He opened the door, revealing the almost empty hotel room Side moved into the day before. He hesitated. For a moment he wanted to ask Speedy if he wanted to come inside. To hang out, to do something.
However, he knew it was already late and Speedy had his own priorities.
“But I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Speedy nodded and Side found his way into his room. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Speedy repeated back to him.
Side smiled. He gave him a small “bye.”
And then he closed the door.