Work Text:
Full Moon Feels
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Patrick has looked at his mouth nine times today. That David has seen, at least. They’ve both been ridiculously, wonderfully busy - it’s the store's “not so soft anymore” opening and one of the best days of David’s life - but still, Patrick has apparently found the time to look at him. And David has found the time to notice. In fact, he’s noticed Patrick looking at him a lot lately and he’s not quite sure how to interpret it. Typically David thinks something along the lines of ‘there must be something on my face’ or ‘he’s probably just mentally making fun of my ‘ostentatious’ (his mothers description) facial expressions’. Sometimes when he’s feeling particularly confident in the look he’s put together he thinks ‘maybe he just finds me generally pleasing to look at’. Rarely, okay hopefully, he thinks ‘maybe Alexis was right and by some fucking miracle he is actually into me?
He tries not to dwell on that last one too much. It tends to trigger his all consuming thoughts of how much he likes and desperately wants to kiss his endearing, buttoned up business partner. And that is just…not okay. Patrick is the best person he’s ever met and they have a lovely platonic, but maybe somewhat flirty, friendship that means more to him than he’ll ever admit. He’s not going to risk it just because of his terrifyingly huge feelings for the guy.
But he really fucking wants to.
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“Congratulations, man.”
Did he seriously just call me ‘man’? Fuck forget that, he’s coming in for a hug oh god.
David’s mouth thankfully bypasses his suddenly scrambled brain and replies on his behalf with a simple, responding congratulations to him as well. And then Patrick is tugging him in, holding him close, and it’s quite possibly the best thing he’s ever felt.
Oh. Oh no. This is too good.
David is not a hugger, but he would gladly hug Patrick multiple times a day if this is what it’s like. He can’t even imagine how fucking great it would feel to kiss him, to cuddle him, to fu… mmkay, stop there.
Patrick lets out a quiet, content hum in the back of his throat as he lightly grips David’s sweater, and it makes him smile before he’s even aware of it. His hands have a mind of their own as they stroke over Patrick’s back a little, just enjoying getting to touch him like this. The warmth of his body through his dress shirt is making David feel so -
The moment is interrupted as the lights Patrick so thoughtfully wired for him flicker and go out. Patrick’s pulling away from him and he instantly misses the feeling of him in his arms. For fucks sakes, I was not done with that hug. Patrick mumbles something about fixing the lights, looking a little put out at the interruption as well. David makes the mistake of glancing at Patrick’s soft, kissable mouth as he’s glancing at the light and doesn't look away fast enough before he’s facing David again. Patrick notices, if his slightly raised eyebrows are anything to go by. His gaze goes to David’s mouth and back up, his beautiful doe eyes widening a little as they just sort of stare at each other silently. It should be weird, but it’s not really. The air seems to crackle between them and David feels his body flush with warmth when Patrick glances down at his mouth again.
His stupidly relentless hopeful heart and his anxious, self-defeating inner critic are arguing.
Do it! Kiss him! You like him so fucking much and he likes you, you know he does. You’ve seen the heart eyes he barely tries to hide. He wants to kiss you, too! He’s perfect. He’s so sweet, he makes you feel good, he actually respects you, he teases you in the best way. He’s a beautiful, affectionate troll who, let’s face it, you really really want to date. And possibly more. Which is scary. But it will be so good with him! He’ll take care of you and you’ll take care of him and -
Absolutely not. He doesn’t like you like that. Even if he did, you’re not good enough for him. He’s a kind, generous person and you’re just selfish and awful. Damaged goods, remember? You’re fucking needy and clingy and desperate and too much. If you kiss him you’ll ruin everything. He’ll leave you, he’ll go back to whatever magical place he came from and you’ll never again see any of his sweet smiles that you love so much. Your store will fail because you’re completely hopeless at all that business shit. He’ll be gone and you’ll never feel as happy as you do when you’re around him. Don’t wreck this like you wreck everything else.
He’s brought back from his swirling thoughts when he hears Patrick’s breath hitch a little and he notices him leaning in, just a bit like he isn’t quite sure he should. He looks vulnerable and scared but also hopeful and soft and fond and…
David panics. He jerks back, clearing his throat and crossing his arms protectively over his chest as he tries to think of something to say. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He pretends not to see the hurt and embarrassed look on Patrick’s face as his cheeks flush pink. He looks away, rubbing a hand over his mouth and sort of curling in on himself as David splutters and gestures awkwardly. He needs to try and shift focus from whatever just happened between them. There’s no way he's going to acknowledge it and make Patrick uncomfortable. That’s what he tells himself anyway. “Mmkay. So. Should we clean up?” Smooth. My god.
Patrick backs away, shoving his hands in his front pockets and shaking his head as he keeps his gaze on the floor. “Uh sure. Yeah. I mean…actually no. You know what, I’ll just come in early and do it. You sleep in tomorrow, today’s been a lot and I’m always up around seven anyway, you know that. I’m just gonna -” He’s never heard Patrick ramble like this and it’s making his anxiety flare up. He’s flustered and blushing and he won’t look at David as he grabs his keys from the drawer under the register. “- uh, go. I’m gonna go. I’m really tired, probably just gonna read and go to bed early. Seriously, don’t worry about the mess, I'll take care of it.”
No, no, no. An aching sense of dread is creeping through David’s belly and his heart is aching a little at the fact that Patrick can’t seem to get away fast enough. Fucking fuck, I fucked up. Stevie and Alexis are going to murder me. “Patrick, you don’t have to do that. I…um, I -”
He’s never been good with emotionally vulnerable situations and he just can’t get the right words out. Patrick yanks open the front door, the chime of the bell feeling like a punch in the gut for some reason. David steps forward, sort of stuttering over a plea for him to wait but Patrick’s still not looking at him when he chokes out a suspiciously hoarse sounding goodbye. “It’s fine, David. Congratulations, uh, again. Goodnight.”
And he’s out the door before David’s managed to get his act together. He basically fled from him. Oh god. David may as well have kissed him because he’s ruined everything now anyway. He feels frozen in place as he watches Patrick’s little blue car speed away, much faster than David knows he usually drives. He kind of wants to cry. Which seems like an overreaction, but he has a feeling he just broke Patrick’s heart a little. He’s never seen him act like that.
Well it was pretty clear now that Patrick did want to kiss him. David’s anxiety had been an incorrect, gaslighting asshole as it so often was. Patrick wanted to kiss him. He’d been about to, or at least working up the nerve, and David had pulled away. Which was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do. He’d rejected him and he felt fucking awful.
“Ohmy fucking god.”
And now he’s muttering to himself. Ugh. David is well acquainted with rejection. It’s one of the worst feelings a human could experience, in his opinion.
As he ruminates over his many failed attempts at dating and relationships, It hits him that he has to fix this right fucking now. He desperately doesn’t want Patrick to be feeling rejected, or hurt, or sad. In fact he never wants to be the reason Patrick is sad. And he certainly doesn’t want Patrick to be sitting alone at home thinking that David doesn’t want him. Because if he’s honest with himself, he’s never wanted anything or anyone more in his life.
He blames his sudden decision to head over to Ray’s right this second on the full moon that’s hanging ominously in the sky tonight. It makes people act impulsive and crazy right? Except, he knows this isn’t crazy. Impulsive maybe, but not crazy. This is right. He needs to do this. He wants to. Even if he’s putting himself in an emotionally vulnerable position and it’s terrifying and something he would typically never do. The fact that it’s now pretty obvious Patrick is into him makes it easier though. He doesn't let himself think about it too hard.
With a determined nod, he grabs his keys from behind the counter and practically throws himself out of the store into the warm summer night. He ignores the fact that his hands are shaking as he locks the door. Totally normal, totally fine. He thanks Beyoncé that it’s only a ten minute walk to Ray’s house and gives himself an internal pep talk the whole way there. Or he could be talking out loud to himself, whatever, fuck you.
What feels like a fucking hour later, he approaches Ray’s house and tries to dispell the bubbling anxiety in his belly. Actually, he can’t fully tell if it’s anxiety, weird full moon energy, or just more of a jittery, anticipatory excitement. The thought of kissing Patrick, of fucking potentially dating him, feels so good it’s overwhelming. He happily notes the lack of Ray’s car out front and decides to stop analyzing his nervous system’s behaviour. And getting ahead of himself. Just because Patrick wants to kiss him doesn’t mean he wants to date him. And that is something we’re not thinking about right now, fuck off.
As he steps up to the door of the house, he pauses to take a couple of deep calming breaths before ringing the doorbell. At least his hands have stopped shaking. Mostly. He presses his lips together and shakes out his hands as he hears footsteps and sees a figure coming closer through the narrow frosted window pane in the center of the door. This feels like a big moment, and he rolls his eyes at himself for thinking it even if somehow deep down he knows it's true.
When the door opens and Patrick appears, his eyes widening in surprise, David’s almost a little concerned with the way his heart jumps around in his chest at the sight of him. He’s barefoot, in his sweats and a worn t-shirt with some kind of sportsball logo splashed across his chest and he looks so fucking cute and cosy David just wants to hold him. The fact that his face looks a little blotchy and his eyes are a bit red basically triples that feeling. It also makes him want to smack himself for earlier. I made him fucking cry? I’m a monster. He vows right then to do everything in his power to never be the reason Patrick cries again. Unless it’s a good cry, but that’s not something to focus on right now.
“David, what, why - w-what are you doing here?” He rubs the back of his neck as he stumbles through the question before crossing his arms tight, looking baffled. And a little guarded. Which is fair.
David is not just going to kiss Patrick with no warning when he’s clearly feeling vulnerable, but he also doesn’t want to waste anymore time with him thinking he was rejected. So he just asks the obvious question. His voice is far too soft and somewhat shaky, but he doesn’t fucking care.
“Did you want to kiss me earlier? After you hugged me?”
Patrick’s reaction is so comical that David actually almost laughs. Fondly of course. The poor man’s jaw drops along with his arms and he makes an adorable squeaking noise as his face goes pink yet again. He suddenly grips the door like he needs it to stay standing and just stares, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. David presses his lips together, raises his brows and waits, trying not to smile at the cuteness that is a flustered Patrick Brewer. He doesn’t want to say anything that could even slightly influence Patrick’s answer.
After the longest stunned silence in history, Patrick drops his gaze and puts his hands on his hips with a sort of resigned, breathy sigh. He’s nodding to himself a little and chewing on his bottom lip for a moment, then gazes up at David with a soft look of tentative hope on his face. “Yeah David, I did.” He gives a little shrug and lets out a sort of shy, nervous laugh before crossing his arms again. His eyes flutter anxiously all over David’s face, clearly trying to gauge his reaction.
And well, David has to work hard to stop himself from grinning like an absolute fool - he just has one more question. Which he’s pretty sure he also knows the answer to, but still. Pushing his smile into his cheek, he takes a small step closer and feels a little thrill in his belly when Patrick glances at his mouth yet again. “Okay. Do you still want to kiss me?”
Patrick lets out a shaky exhale, still looking a bit nervous and unsure despite the shy little smile on his cute, flushed face. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since you told me you didn’t know what batting a thousand meant.”
David lets the delighted grin slip onto his face and laughs softly, feeling stupidly giddy as he closes the gap between them, dancing his fingertips along Patrick’s shoulders. His eyes go impossibly wider as he gulps and glances at David’s hands like he can’t believe he’s touching him. He’s so fucking cute. “Mm, mhm. For me I think it was the whole I’m going to get the money line.”
Any hesitation or nervousness in Patrick’s expression instantly disappears at David’s admission and he lets out a joyful, relieved sounding laugh, absolutely beaming up at him. He’s the most beautiful thing David’s ever seen and he can’t wait another second. Gently sliding his hands up the side of Patrick’s neck, he cradles his jaw and brushes his thumbs along the light stubble. Patrick’s breath hitches at the touch and he leans into him, closing his eyes with a cute smile like he’s already feeling blissed out.
With his heart fluttering around in his chest and an unfamiliar, eagerly excited thrill in his belly, David gently tilts Patrick’s head in his palms and finally kisses him. He tries not to think about why he feels this way about a simple kiss as Patrick takes in a quick breath and smiles against his mouth. Kissing him back intently, his arms drop to move around David’s waist and boldly tug him closer against his body, and it’s all just so fucking good already. Kissing Patrick is a blissful sensory experience that he knows he’ll never get enough of. The pleased little hum Patrick makes into the kiss as David moves to drape his arms around his shoulders and lightly sucks on his lower lip. The warm, comforting smell of Patrick’s laundry detergent washing over him, and the cool, refreshing taste of his peppermint toothpaste. The feel of Patrick’s steady hands splayed over his lower back. He could just do this forever and be perfectly happy. He’s never had a kiss like this. That thought should probably scare him more than it does, but in this moment everything feels too good to care.
After a minute or so of the sweetest, best kisses anyone has ever had - in David’s humble opinion - Patrick pulls back just enough to smile at him, looking so fucking happy and fond David thinks he might melt into a puddle of feelings right there on the porch. “I uh, I just realized I’m not being a very welcoming host. Do you want to come in? Ray’s at some photographer conference in Elmdale.”
David raises his eyebrows in surprise and Patrick blushes, chuckling softly with a shake of his head as he apparently realizes how that sounded. Not that David would object to that, necessarily. But he really likes Patrick. Too much, and he’s not sure if that would be the right way for them to start whatever this is. “Sorry David, I don’t mean, uh…” He laughs again and backs away, David missing the feel of him before Patrick grabs his hand and laces their fingers together. Well that should absolutely not make me feel so good. He can’t remember the last time someone held his hand and it’s embarrassing how much he likes it. “...I just meant do you want to come in to, I don’t know, hang out? Talk? Watch a movie?”
David smirks at him teasingly and squeezes his hand, loving how earnestly sweet and genuine Patrick is. “Mhm, I see. You want to watch a movie. Okay.”
Adorably, Patrick’s cheeks go a little pinker as he shrugs and lets out a self-deprecating kind of laugh, tugging on David’s hand. “Okay, honestly I don’t care what we do, I’m just not ready to let go of you yet.”
Oh god, I like him so fucking much. David has a feeling he’s going to forever have a hard time saying no to those heart eyes. Not that he wants to right now. There’s honestly nowhere he’d rather be than cuddled up with Patrick watching a movie, even if they don’t so much as kiss again for the rest of the night. And that’s kind of a giant revelation for him to have on Ray’s front porch. Burying the significance of those thoughts for now, he takes Patrick up on his offer and feels more content than he has in a long time, if ever, when they ended up snuggled together on the couch for hours under Patrick’s favourite blanket.
When he sneaks into his room and crawls into bed much later that night, Alexis blessedly passed out so he doesn’t have to explain why he can’t stop smiling, David doesn’t remember a single minute of the movie they’d put on. But he knows he’ll never forget how happy, cared for, and safe he felt wrapped up in Patrick’s arms just kissing, and laughing, and talking. Soaking up all of his easy affection and letting himself be soft for a while.
For the first time since his family arrived in Schitt’s Creek, he dares to feel hopeful for the future. And if he somewhat superstitiously thanks the full moon before he falls asleep that night, well that’s his business.